THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG, G ( 1 hr & 35 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Monday, December 14th, 2009
show: 3:00 p.m.
costs: $7.25 Ticket + $3.75 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $8.14 lunch at Selecta Filipino Buffet ( before the movie ) = $19.14
auditorium: 13
seat: 5th row, 8ht column

synopsis: A fresh take on a fairy tale classic.

A hard-working waitress, Tiana, wishing to have her own restaurant and a disowned prince, Naveen, hoping to marry rich both fall under a magical voodoo spell. And if they don't right the wrong, they will spend the remainder of their lives as frogs.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Charlotte and Tiana; 2.) Gumbo get-together; 3.) Wish upon a star; 4.) Restaurant fund; 5.) The prince; 6.) Dr. Facelier; 7.) Masquerade ball; 8.) The kiss; 9.) The alligator; 10.) The lovelorn firefly; 11.) The evil spirits; 12.) The rescue; 13.) Evangeline; 14.) Mama Odie; 15.) Mardi Gras parade; 16.) The cemetery; 17.) Late kiss; 18.) Twin stars; 19.) The wedding; and 20.) The restaurant.

audience reaction: The parents and their children enjoyed this movie.

recommendation: Go see this with young children.

spoiler alert! One scene frightened one of the kids in the audience--must have been the same kid in A CHRISTMAS CAROL show. Big Lou, the alligator, looks more like a crocodile with its narrow snout. How come the other alligators couldn't walk on their hind legs, and why did they disappear as soon as Big Lou showed up? In the presence of Big Lou, all the other bayou/swamp creatures lost their predatory instincts, why? Is this to suggest that music does, indeed, soothe the savage beasts? Or is Big Lou simply in possession of a powerful mojo? Why did Mama Odie cook-up a bath-tub full of Gumbo in the middle of nowhere in the first place? For such a squashed bug, Ray sure didn't look like one, but Naveen did a better turn as a squashed frog twice! In most species of fireflies, the males are the only ones flying around and signaling females on the ground as part of their courtship ritual.

fyi: I read an article a few years ago on bioluminescence. Apparently, for whatever quasi-practical reason, scientists want to produce glow-in-the-dark humans.

If you meditate long enough ( i.e. decades ), you may just glow in the dark--it's a given!

In Canada, the Geo Metro is called, the Firefly. I should use luminescent paint on mine.

I remember when one of our cousins, Jeannie, would drop-off her daughter, Michelle, for my sisters to babysit. Michelle was one hyper-active little girl. As soon as she stepped in the house, she would always asked, "Where's Reggie?" And Reggie, our deaf white cat with one yellow eye and one blue eye, would growl and hiss whenever he would see Michelle because he wouldn't want her playing with him at all. And at the end of each day, Michelle would be turned over to her mom with fresh scratches all over her arms!

word of advice: Some wishes have a funny way of coming true.

tidbits: Before going to the cinema, as I was eating lunch at the Filipino buffet of which I was the only customer, I couldn't help but notice that the proprietor was playing Hanukkah songs on the radio. And there I was, enjoying some delicious pork! Talk about guilty pleasure! What are my Jewish Ancestors on my mother's side going to think about me? It sure ruined the ambiance for me. As I was paying for my meal, I asked him if he knew that the songs his radio was playing were Jewish holiday music. "I didn't know," he answered. I hope that I got the message across: He needs to play "kosher pork music" for the Holidays to draw in the right clientele.

After the movie, I went to Chase Bank to deposit some money into my checking account. Then I went to CVS Drugs to buy some cold medicine, evaporated milk ( for my coffee ), and a mini digital camera.

THE ROAD, R ( 1 hr & 59 min )

where: CINE ARTS @ PLEASANT HILL in Pleasant Hill, CA
when: Friday, December 11th, 2009
show: 10:10 p.m.
costs: $10.00 Ticket + $4.25 medium Diet/Zero Coke + $2.12 bulk Chocolate Candies + $4.00 Bridge Toll = $20.37
auditorium: 5
seat: 4th row, 11th column

synopsis: A very slow road trip, with lots of rest stops, of the bleakest kind.

In a post-apocalyptic barren American wasteland, a father ( Viggo Mortensen ) and son ( Kodi Smit-McPhee ) head south to escape winter and to avoid cannibals, ever hopeful of a better life.

prediction: Viggo Mortensen is a strong contender for an Oscar.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The landscape; 2.) Wildfire; 3.) In the barn; 4.) How to use the gun; 5.) Cannibal gang; 6.) The talk of suicide with the wife ( Charlize Theron ); 7.) Coke; 8.) The ring; 9.) Cannibals' mansion; 10.) Boyhood home; 11.) The box; 12.) Bomb shelter; 13.) Bath; 14.) The old man ( Robert Duvall ); 15.) Skulls on stakes; 16.) Falling trees; 17.) The church; 18.) The thief; 19.) The beetle; 20.) The arrow; and 21.) The stranger ( Guy Pearce ).

audience reaction: This movie got the audience's attention.

recommendation: I liked this movie which delves into the human soul and is not dependent on CGI effects to convey its message. Go see this movie.

spoiler alert! I do not know the cause of this movie's apocalypse since it was never shown. Why didn't they head south sooner before things went from bad to worse, especially since the apocalypse struck in the fall season? Why did one of the cannibals become modest and urinated away from every one else? Was he afraid that the other cannibals would ogle at and drool all over what looked like a vienna sausage to them? A head wound like that would cause much bleeding and would make the side of the face swell-up for about three days--trust me on this! Why didn't the dog bark when it sniffed-out the father and son? The father looked like he was suffering from Tuberculosis which is very contagious. So every one that the son will come into contact with will run a high risk of infection--whoops! there goes humanity ....

fyi: The scenes with the burned trees were filmed at Mt. Saint Helens Volcanic Monument in the state of Washington.

My nutrition professor told the class that people ate people in Europe's Dark Ages. But they called meat from such prey as, "two-legged mutton."

Cannibal tribes in New Guinea described humans as, "long pork." Also, it is rumored that as part of their burial custom, some cannibal tribes have taken to canning human meat and selling it as, "The OTHER White Meat." Of course, this got the white people all worried--must be why the white folks in that area love to get a tan! Boy! am I glad that I was born with an all-over tan.

Vegetarians taste like beef, according to cannibals.

When I studied Anatomy and Physiology, I couldn't help but notice how human skeletal muscles look like beef. I couldn't eat beef for two weeks after that!

word of advice: "It is darkest just before dawn."

Invest in a mountain bike with puncture or flat-proof tires.

tidbits: I was gonna drive by Harvest House Health Food Store to see if they are still in business because months ago I noticed a "For Lease" sign in front of their window. But it was already past midnight and it had been raining on and off all night. So I just decided to go home, instead. Maybe sometime later I'll swing by this place again so I can check out bone meal and glandular protein powders.

In a post-apocalypse, I don't think the Mexicans will appreciate Taco Bell's ad slogan: "Run for the Border."

BAD LIEUTENANT: Port of Call, New Orleans, R ( 2 hr & 1 min )

where: CINE ARTS @ PLEASANT HILL in Pleasant Hill, CA
when: Friday, December 11th, 2009
show: 7:35 p.m.
costs: $10.00 Ticket + $14.74 Chinese Buffet dinner ( + $2.26 Tip ) at Buffet City = $27.00
auditorium: 4
seat: 4th row, 10th column

synopsis: A police lieutenant, Terence McDonaugh ( Nicolas Cage ), investigates the execution of an illegal alien family of five from Senegal as his drug habit worsens and his gambling debts pile up.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Flooded jail; 2.) Snorting cocaine; 3.) Executed family; 4.) Pharmacy; 5.) Gator's Retreat stakeout; 6.) Davereaux Hotel; 7.) Retirement home; 8.) Grandson; 9.) Bookie; 10.) Alligators; 11.) Toke; 12.) Dog; 13.) Back at the retirement home; 14.) Investigating police abuse; 15.) Loan shark; 16.) Deal with drug lord ( Xzibit ); 17.) The waterfront drop-off; 18.) Game fixing; 19.) Reformed Frankie ( Eva Mendes ); 20.) Drug lord versus loan shark; 21.) The football game; 22.) Lucky three; 23.) The round-up; 24.) Another stake-out a Gator's Retreat; 25.) Room service; and 26.) The aquarium.

audience reaction: The audience liked this movie.

recommendation: I liked this movie, too. Go see it.

spoiler alert! When McDonaugh walked into the Davereaux Hotel and to the retirement home, and when he sat down at the aquarium, his shoulders were level with each other. How can somebody high on drugs not be noticeable when out on patrol and when out performing routine investigation? And the scene with the break-dancing soul, I don't know about that!

fyi: Is it just me, or does Nicolas Cage's lower lip droop lower with each passing year? He should avoid using side shots of his face as much as possible.

word of advice: If you don't have an upper lip ( like Nicolas Cage ), put on a mustache to add a better symmetry to your face.

tidbits: While I was eating at the buffet, I had a minor nose bleed--it would have been a major one had I not swabbed my nostrils with petroleum jelly before leaving my condo earlier in the day. I had a major nosebleed seven years ago while having lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Terra Linda in San Rafael, CA--not a pretty sight!

Just before the movie, at 7:30 p.m., I went to the men's room to wash my hands and rinse my mouth. I used the lavatory on the far right to clear my throat. As I did so, I noticed that somebody before me had already "deposited" a piece of "lung oyster" ( phlegm ) in the sink. With the motion activated faucet, I had my hands try to direct water to the dried-up "oyster" and my fresh one to have them both go down the sink. But the dried-up one was stubborn, so I just went to the paper towel dispenser to crank out a piece to dry my hands with. As I did so, I heard a faucet turning on and off. When I turned around to look, it was the far right hand side faucet ( there are three of them ) which was turning itself on and off repeatedly with nobody near enough to physically activate it. I was about six feet away from it at the other end of the lavatory counter while another man was in a toilet stall and two other men were at the urinals. I mentally thanked "whatever it was" for finishing the job for me.

EVERYBODY'S FINE, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 35 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Tuesday, December 8ht, 2009
show: 4:55 p.m.
costs: $7.25 Ticket + $3.75 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $1.00 Jack Link's Jackpack ( [ cheddar, pretzel and beef sticks ] which I bought at a Dollar Tree Store and smuggled-in ) + $6.26 Double Steak Grande Quesadilla extra large Meal Deal with a side dish of Cheese Fiesta Potatoes at Taco Bell = $18.26
auditorium: 13
seat: 5th row, 8ht column

synopsis: A widower, Frank Goode ( Robert De Niro ), arranges for a family get-together at his place. But none of his children, inexplicably, can make it. Desperate to reconnect with his grown children, he embarks on an impromptu road trip to surprise each and every one of them, against his doctor's advice, and finds that all is not well with any one of his children.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) House chores; 2.) Grocery store; 3.) Barbecue grill; 4.) 'Phone messages; 5.) Doctor's office; 6.) Train; 7.) Diner; 8.) David's apartment building; 9.) The rolling luggage; 10.) Golf game; 11.) Chinese take-out dinner; 12.) Family photo; 13.) Ad pitch; 14.) Train station; 15.) Symphony rehearsal; 16.) Lady trucker; 17.) Mugging; 18.) The baby; 19.) The 'phone message; 20.) "Good team"; 21.) At the airport; 22.) The waitress; 23.) The airplane; 23.) The lies; 24.) Hospital; 25.) David's mail; 26.) At the grave site; 27.) Art gallery; and 28.) Christmas get-together.

audience reaction: There was only one other person in the audience, an old lady seated way in the back row. There was no way for me to gauge her reaction.

recommendation: I liked this family drama which is neither too sweet nor too sad. If you're into sentimental family get-togethers then this movie is for you.

spoiler alert! If you look at the movie poster, Robert De Niro is holding a digital camera even though he used a cheap 35mm camera throughout the movie. How did Frank move the big wooden outdoor table all by himself? The store shelves at the grocery store didn't have shelf tags. The wine department clerk didn't know what he was selling. In this day and age, why didn't Frank carry a cell phone, even if only for emergency use? A certain camera manufacturer could have easily capitalized on the many "Kodak Moments" shown throughout this movie.

fyi: One time, I was in the wine department of a store when a lady approached me and asked if I knew much about wines. I apologized and told her that I don't drink. But I added that I knew the assistant manager was rumored to be a recovering alcoholic and that I would go and ask him. She just laughed even though I meant it in all seriousness! So ... I'm funny now without even working at it? I'll be darned!

If you hold a pair of chopsticks close to the bottom, it is considered bad table manners.

I have this Chinese friend who brings his lunch to work. He would always eat his lunch with a fork and/or spoon. Out of curiosity, I asked him if he uses a fork and a spoon when he's eating at home. He told me that he only uses chopsticks at home. I find this too weird to comprehend.

The Christmas after 911 was an especially sad one. And the song, "I'll Be Home For Christmas," was the saddest of them all, according to a newspaper article.

When I was 16 years old, I won second place in a poster drawing contest and was subsequently offered an art scholarship by a New York art academy. When I told my family about it, no one showed any sign of interest as my good news just fell on deaf ears. Since I couldn't get anybody in my family to be interested in it, I just turned down the offer. I taught myself to do charcoal portraits as a way for me to kick my own self in the butt for turning down the scholarship. If I could have it to do all over again, I would take that offer in a heartbeat whether or not it would meet with my family's approval!

word of advice: What you want for your children and what they want for themselves are not always one and the same.

tidbits: After the movie, I decided to go to Taco Bell for dinner because I haven't been to one in about two years. Then, after getting some gas at Chevron's, I went looking for a Fargo-style Santa hat and an ear-flapped winter hat since it is getting wintry cold, but I found neither one.

TRANSYLMANIA, R ( 1 hr & 32 min )

where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when: Tuesday, December 8ht, 2009
show: 12:00 p.m.
costs: $7.50 Ticket + $7.58 Great Wall Chinese Buffet lunch ( + $1.25 tip ) + $1.07 Note Pad = $17.40
auditorium: 15
seat: 5th row, 10th column

synopsis: A group of unwitting American students go to Transylvania for a semester of academics and cultural immersion at Razvan University where a stalker/killer and vampires await them.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Laptop; 2.) History; 3.) Music box; 4.) The shuttle ride; 5.) Ural side-car motorcycle; 6.) Are we there yet?; 7.) Combat & Self-Defense class; 8.) Codex Eroticon; 9.) The internet girlfriend; 10.) The pin prick; 11.) Illegal hunt; 12.) Necklace; 13.) Frankenstein-type lab; 14.) The "vampire slayer"; 15.) Morning after; 16.) The surgery; 17.) The costume ball; 18.) Showdown; 19.) The "doctor"; 20.) Jeans pool; and 21.) The werewolf huntress.

audience reaction: None. I was the only one in the audience.

recommendation: I found this neither funny nor erotic in anyway. It's strictly a rental.

spoiler alert! This is a very sophomoric stab at humor. The trinkets lady on the train spoke to every passenger in English even though local Romanians were on board as well, and dem white people all be lookin' da same to me. The victim in the coffin twitched his eye. Vampires are suppose to be eternally youthful, but the topless vampiresses showed noticeable "mileage" on their faces already--and one of them had a boob job! How in heck did she find the time to have implants put in when plastic surgeons only work in the DAYTIME? This reminds me of the movie THIR13EN GHOSTS ( 2001 ) in which a topless ghost with a boob job haunted the place--apparently there are some things that you can take with you! Since when did vampires learn to do Oriental martial arts? In an early scene, the vampire count's right hand got burned when it was exposed to sunlight; but later on in the movie, when the count ran in broad daylight covered by his own cape, his left hand didn't get burned even though it was exposed to sunlight. The couple which was making-out didn't hear the door slam. A re-capitated and re-sewn multiple amputee can never live, let alone ambulate. At the party, the sutures were absent with no surgical wounds evident. Why cut the body up into pieces in the first place when all that was needed was a head job ( i.e. head transplant )?

fyi: The salesman who sold me my blue 2001 Hyundai Accent at a Ford dealership in San Leandro, CA is from Romania. And he told me that the Romanian language has its roots in Latin which is why it is called Romanian, named after the Romans who settled the region.

The Ural Sidecar Motorcycle is the most enduring and most mass-produced vehicle model in the world, in production since before World War II. This is BMW's most successful model ever! I hope to get one for myself someday.

word of advice: Save your money for a better movie.

tidbits: I have a total of eighteen mini note books, but I brought none with me for this movie review! How stupid is that? I had to swing by a CVS store to buy one. Then, I had a buffet lunch before the show instead of having my usual movie fare of soda and popcorn.

I didn't eat that much at the buffet. Next time, I'll have to remember to unbutton my pants and loosen my belt by a notch before I step into a buffet, if only to get my money's worth!