ARMORED, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 28 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Sunday, December 6th, 2009
show: 4:45 p.m.
costs: $9.50 Ticket + $8.65 Wendy's Baconator Double Deluxe burger w/ fries plus a Side Salad w/ Ranch Dressing ( before the show ) + $3.75 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke = $21.90
auditorium: 14
seat: 5th row, 8ht column

synopsis: A decorated Iraq war hero, Ty ( Columbus Short ), is having a hard time paying his mortgage and so reluctantly decides to participate in committing the "victimless perfect crime," an armored truck heist, which goes awry when a stranger witnesses the crime in progress.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Carting off the bank's money; 2.) Initiation; 3.) Swapping stories; 4.) Graffiti artist, Jimmy ( ? ); 5.) Donation fund; 6.) Hot dog stand; 7.) The plan; 8.) Child Welfare worker; 9.) The promise; 10.) The bum; 11.) The truck chase; 12.) The Sheriff's Deputy ( ? ); 13.) Hinge pin; 14.) The fetch; 15.) Dobbs and Palmer ( Skeet Ulrich and Amaury Nolasco ); 16.) Windows plastered with bills; 17.) Walkie talkie; 18.) Booby trap; 19.) The crash; and 20.) The hospital.

audience reaction: Everybody paid quiet attention to the movie.

recommendation: I liked this movie. Go see it.

spoiler alert! This is a linear film, pretty straightforward with no flashbacks or asides, that deprives the audience the chance to "get into the head" of Ty and see what makes him tick the way he eventually does. Does it have to do with his upbringing or his war experience? We simply don't know. I've never seen armored truck personnel walk around with gun in hand in real life. A forty-two million dollar transport without escorts? Come on! The call-ins to headquarters were spaced too far apart. The vendor made hot dogs too quickly. Jimmy's head was covered loosely with a money bag yet his hands were not tied-up. But I guess Jimmy was too "high" on paint fumes to have the presence of mind to pull the bag off!

fyi: Federal Reserve Notes are fiat money or "funny money." No matter what denomination it is, it costs the Federal Reserve the same amount of money to print it: three whole measly cents per bill! If you don't believe me, go to your local coin dealer and try trading your one dollar bill for one of the dealer's one dollar gold coin. He'll laugh you out of his shop if not call the cops on you first! The only one dollar bill that could be evenly exchanged for a one dollar gold coin within the last half century is the ( Gold Standard ) Kennedy dollar bill which says United States Note on it. But good luck trying to find one of these Kennedy dollars because Lyndon Johnson had them all confiscated and destroyed, supposedly. The Federal Reserve is not a governmental agency but a private corporation headquartered in New York and owned by a bank conglomerate run exclusively by the Rockefellers ( and you thought that Bill Gates was the richest American in the world ). The Federal Reserve Act was voted on and made into law in 1913 by a few lawmakers while the rest of Congress recessed for the Holidays! In other words, it was illegally passed! The Federal Reserve was designed to centralize the US banking system. Its first Federal Reserve Board's Head of Governors was Paul Warburg, whose brother, Max, was at the same time the Head of the German Central Bank! Coincidence? I think not! ( This information is mostly based on the book, THE DELICATE BALANCE by John Zajac, 1990. )

Here is an example of the extreme exchange rate disparity between One Troy Ounce of Gold and the Federal Reserve Note Dollar bill: If the current value of Gold is $900.00, you would need to exchange it with ( in one dollar denomination since it's just worth three cents each to print ) $30,000.00 in a fair and equitable transaction! If the US were to ever go back to the Gold Standard, all the fiat monies in the whole wide world would be worthless. Only Gold, Silver and Diamond Standard monies would stand with full value intact, the rest would be nothing but fancy-looking "play money"!

word of advice: Crime doesn't pay.

Those who make outward displays of their religious affiliations are usually just a bunch of sanctimonious hypocrites!

If you want to be filthy, stinking rich, marry a Rockefeller--and throw me a 10% commission on your new-found liquid wealth for my invaluable advice. Heck, I might even be willing to have you talk me down to 5%!

Conspiracy Theories, at the very least, make for very interesting reading!

tidbits: I arrived at the cinema at 4:00 p.m. after eating at Wendy's Restaurant across the street first, thinking that the movie was scheduled to start at 4:10. But I was wrong; it was scheduled for 4:45 p.m. I went and bought a ticket anyway--because it was cold outside. When I stepped in, a co-worker of mine here in Benicia, Justin, was sitting on a bench with his girlfriend, waiting for the BROTHERS movie to start.

BROTHERS, R ( 1 hr & 50 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Friday, December 4th, 2009
show: 10:30 p.m.
costs: $10.00 Ticket + $3.75 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $4.25 junior Popcorn w/ Butter + $0.00 Pizza Stick ( leftover from my lunch at work ) = $18.00
auditorium: 7
seat: 4th row, 8th column

synopsis: An emotionally-scarred Marine captain, Sam Cahill ( Tobey Maguire ) returns home a changed man. His paranoia puts a strain on his relationship with his wife, Grace ( Natalie Portman ), and with his brother, Tommy ( Jake Gyllenhaal ).

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Family dinner; 2.) Out on patrol; 3.) The bad news; 4.) The funeral service; 5.) Messing with the bartender; 6.) Pancakes; 7.) Prison hole; 8.) The execution; 9.) The paint; 10.) Forced confessions; 11.) Surprise birthday gift; 12.) The bank teller; 13.) The kiss; 14.) Kill or be killed; 15.) Rescue; 16.) 'Phone call; 17.) Home again; 18.) The question; 19.) Pvt. Joe Willis' widow and son; 20.) Obsessive-compulsive behavior; 21.) Requesting a 5th tour of duty; 22.) The humorless dad; 23.) Military cemetery; 24.) Isabella's outburst; 25.) The rage; 26.) The letter; and 27.) The confession.

audience reaction: The audience liked this one.

recommendation: Go see this one.

spoiler alert! The kiss was ill-contrived to be believable and it went on passionately and for far too long when it should just have been an awkward one of short duration. Remember, both of them were neither drunk enough nor high enough to justify the scene. ( Of course, if I were playing the part of Tommy, I would probably--in all likelihood--step out of character, too! ) If everything was "lovey-dovey" at home, why would Capt. Cahill keep requesting another tour of duty ( he was captured on his 4th tour of duty), forsaking his roles/responsibilities as husband, father and breadwinner? It makes me wonder.

fyi: Did you know that our troops in Afghanistan are seeing a different face of our enemies? Bearded and turbaned Afghan men with make-up, eyeshadow, eyeliner and lipstick sexually solicit our soldiers, according to one of my reliable sources. Yuck! That Osama bin Ladin is one sick f-ck hiding-out in such a place and making us wanna gag and puke like that as we go looking for him! The nerve of him. I bet this is the reason why Osama's harem "women" wear burqas.

I was just wondering ... I guess the reason why Captain Cahill wants to go to Afghanistan for a 5th tour is because he has a kinky side to him that he doesn't want anyone back home finding about--he REALLY needs psychiatric help on the double!

Based on hard-earned experience, the Russians know that battle tanks and tracked armored vehicles are worthless in the rugged terrain of Afghanistan. An early scene in the movie shows the rusted hulks of such vehicles littering a road. So the Russians know why we are building-up our troop strength with soldiers, battle tanks and tracked armored vehicles on the western side of Afghanistan: It is across the eastern border of Iran! And Iran is mostly flat-lands, perfect for battle tanks and other tracked armored vehicles! This is a hot topic on Russian websites--see for yourself! I guess P-NAC ( Project for a New American Century ) is slowly but surely unfolding! P-NAC is a genuine article, I held the document in my hand shortly after we invaded Iraq ( it's an official White House publication close to 100 pages long ). You can read about P-NAC on the internet.

Although to the uninformed this movie is about a form of adultery, it was not to the ancient Hebrews. Back then, it was a younger brother's duty to insure that there was a male heir to his late older brother's property. If the late brother's widow was ugly, it only behooved the younger brother to impregnate her a.s.a.p. and hope that it will produce a male heir right away. But if the widow was hot and sexy, the younger brother would be stupid to get her pregnant right away and would then, by all means, turn sexual intercourse from a procreative act to that of an activity done strictly for base pleasures. The Biblical Onan refused to carry-out his duty to impregnate his sister-in-law, Tamar, by always "spilling his seed" on the ground instead of "planting it in a fertile soil." Hence, the reason why Onan was killed by God ( Genesis 38: 8-10 ). Onanism became interchangeably used for the term, "spilling one's seed." From there, it became equated with masturbation, a crime punishable by death! Whoa, Nelly ....

But when the Israelites left Egypt in the Exodus, anybody who masturbated was only considered ceremonially unclean if he was right-handed since the left hand was reserved for such unclean "activities." Give Moses credit for realizing this when he spent a long time alone on that mountain top--twice! Unfortunately, through the centuries, we ended up having on one hand a group of tight-fisted prudes crying out for the death penalty while on the other hand we have the enlightened group with a more relaxed grip on the matter who would first think twice about imposing a very stiff penalty on any offender. Why can't prudes just come to grips with the harmlessness of the "problem" and express their passionate feelings in a more constructively gratifying way? Enough of this foolishness, let's shake hands and get over it fast. Cigarette, anyone?

I remember years ago reading a newspaper account of a Mormon teenager who was so overcome by the guilt he felt about committing the "sin" of masturbation that he hanged himself to death. This caused such an uproar that the church's elders were forced to revise their "divine" opinion on the matter.

The Zen Buddhism Koan, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" is actually about masturbation. But you answer by slapping the person in the face and saying, "That's the sound of one hand clapping!" And that's your Zen for today!

word of advice: Be careful what you do or say around your little brats.

Read the Bible for yourself.

tidbits: I could have gone to see this in the morning but I read my schedule wrong and ended up going to work too early.

The Christmas Tree lighting event in Benicia, down on 1st street, was today at 6:30 p.m. So I couldn't even leave the parking lot to go deposit some money into my checking account because management forgot to hire extra security to patrol the lot to keep the people who don't have a life from parking there and inconveniencing our regular customers. And I was not about to give up my space to anyone of the "without a life" strangers! Oh, well ... I guess I'll just have to tell people I owe money to that the checks are in the mail; they'll believe me, I'm sure of it. Ha!

I was driving down a street one day and passed by a bus stop. At the bus stop were five children of varying ages waiting with their mother. The mother was really fat and Fugly! I said to myself, you know, someone was actually crazy, desperate and/or stupid enough to get that woman pregnant five times--and women like that don't get pregnant right away! After all, it runs smack against Darwinism.

FANTASTIC MR. FOX, PG ( 1 hr & 27 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Monday, November 30th, 2009
show: 9:50 p.m.
costs: $9.50 Ticket + $11.03 ( + $1.02 tip ) INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PANCAKES' ( IHOP ) Ultimate Bacon, Eggs & Sausage Combo w/ Pumpkin Pancakes ( topped w/ whipped cream & butter pecan syrup ) = $21.55
auditorium: 6
seat: 2nd row, 7th column

synopsis: A bored fox, tired of the domestic life, reverts to his former chicken-stealing ways. And in so doing endanger himself, his family and the rest of the animal community as a trio of farmers hunt down Mr. Fox at whatever cost.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The squab farm; 2.) The promise; 3.) Boggis, Bunce and Bean; 4.) Cousin Kristofferson; 5.) Existentialism; 6.) Master plan; 7.) Boggis' chicken farm; 8.) Bunce's smokehouse; 9.) Whack bat; 10.) Bean's cider cellar; 11.) Rat security; 12.) Emergency meeting; 13.) Fox tail; 14.) Escape; 15.) Siege; 16.) The other animals; 17.) Bad song; 18.) Fire hose; 19.) Flint mine; 20.) Rat versus Fox; 21.) The rescue; 22.) Trade mark; 23.) Rabid beagle; 24.) The wolf; and 25.) The supermarket.

audience reaction: The teens and young adults who were the only ones with me in the auditorium seemed to enjoy this claymation movie .

recommendation: Although kids will mostly enjoy the simple charm of this movie, it's more suited for adults.

spoiler alert! I could draw-up a list of all the illogical things about this movie, but that would just defeat the movie's creative reason for being since it's a fantasy story about a fantastic fox. But I do have an issue with the ending: The message seems to be that it's okay to steal--or shoplift--so long as you don't get caught. And I don't like this message since I, Cine-Man, am also Retail Guy!

fyi: One time years ago in Oakland, CA I was put in charge of ordering for the food department at the drug store where I worked at. One particular week, we had a great sale on gallon-size apple juice, the kind that comes in a glass jug ( I can't remember what brand ). We soon ran out of apple juice and the store had to issue lots of rainchecks. I ordered double the quantity in a hurry, then I mailed-out the rainchecks. When the shipload arrived two days later, the assistant manager called me to the warehouse and showed me the pallets upon pallets of what I had ordered: Apple CIDER, not apple juice! And he asked me what I was going to do about it. And I said, I think I'll take my lunch break now. Then I walked away. The assistant manager and the warehouse man burst out laughing! Ah ... the good old days.

Just for the Holidays, IHOP is featuring four new kinds of pancakes in the menu: Pumpkin, Eggnog, Gingerbread, and I can't remember the last one.

word of advice: Don't be selfish, inconsiderate and/or irresponsible. Don't break a promise.

"Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's property."

"Thou shall not steal."

"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

tidbits: I was gonna eat at MacDonald's before the movie, but I already had a MacDonald's burger a couple nights ago. So, I thought of eating at the Wendy's Restaurant across the street from the cinema. Then I remembered that there's an IHOP across the lot from it. So I decided to eat at IHOP instead.

As I sat at my table waiting for my meal, a couple of white teenage boys came in and were seated at the table next to mine--and the one behind me reeked of marijuana so much ( Dear Lord! ), enough so that even Bill Clinton, himself, would admit to being guilty of inhaling had he been there with me! I read somewhere that marijuana stimulates one's appetite, and this kid sure had a voracious one. But I noticed that his friend only ate half of his crepes and drank only half of his shake--probably the designated driver.

One of the effects of inhaling marijuana is a reduction in short-term memory. Now, if I can only remember what I'm suppose to write next .... Huh? Something about a pancake, I think ....

RED CLIFF, R ( 2 hr & 28 min )

where: LANDMARK'S SHATTUCK CINEMAS in Berkeley, CA
when: Saturday, November 28th, 2009
show: 4:45 p.m.
costs: $5.59 MacDonald's Quarter Pounder w/ Cheese meal ( before the show ) + $8.00 Ticket + $4.00 small Diet Coke + $4.50 small Popcorn + $3.50 round-trip Bart Ticket + $14.25 dinner ( + $2.25 tip ) at 99 Chinese Buffet + $4.00 Bridge Toll = $46.09--Holy Cow, I'm one expensive dinner & movie date!
auditorium: 4
seat: 2nd row, 7th column

synopsis: In 208 A.D., an ambitious and power-hungry prime minister/general, Cao Cao ( Zhang Fengyi ) convinces the Han Dynasty Emperor Xian ( Wang Ning ) to give him permission to attack two southern warlords, Liu Bei ( You Yong ) and Sun Quan ( Chang Chen ). Forced to make a strategic retreat, Liu Bei sends his strategist, Zhuge Liang ( Takeshi Kaneshiro ) to Sun Quan's viceroy, Zhou Yu ( Tony Leung Chiu-Wai ), who lives in a palace on Red Cliff, to form a much needed alliance against the more superior military force of Cao Cao. The ensuing battle changes the history of China forever.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Cao Cao before the emperor; 2.) Cao Cao versus Liu Bei; 3.) Justification for war; 4.) "Goose" formation; 5.) Ulterior motive; 6.) The grass allegory; 7.) The messenger; 8.) The "tortoise" ambush; 9.) The spy; 10.) Art of Tea Ceremony; 11.) Typhoid outbreak; 12.) Liu Bei's retreat; 13.) Stealing arrows; 14.) The map; 15.) Weatherman Zhuge Liang; 16.) Xiao Qiao ( Lin Chiling ) goes to Cao Cao; 17.) Tea time before war time; 18.) Floating Chinese lanterns; 19.) Fire "sail"; 20.) Frontal charge; 21.) Surprise attack; 22.) The rescue; 23.) The stand-off; and 24.) The "no win" victory.

audience reaction: The mostly Chinese audience liked this subtitled movie.

recommendation: If you're interested in History in general and Military History in particular, go see this movie.

spoiler alert! First off, this American version is more than two hours shorter than the original Asian release version. So, as can be expected, much of the story suffers for it in the sense that it is heavy on action but light on emotion--and here's the funny part: At 99 Chinese Buffet tonight, when I read my cookie's fortune, this is what it says, "If it ain't broken, don't fix it" ( this is the honest truth! ). The narrator early on said that Cao Cao's army traveled 100 miles a day for three days--bull! Even if the narrator meant 100 kilometers a day, we're still talking 62 1/8ht miles. On average, a person can walk three miles in an hour. But we are talking soldiers in battle-dress uniform. The soldiers would all have to be on horses to travel that far a distance in one day; and 100 miles a day is asking too much even of any war horse! And let's not forget to throw into this equation the fact that the soldiers also had to traverse rugged terrain. Cao Cao and his men were able to set-up shop ( i.e. fortified palace ) very quickly. The enemies didn't notice the white dove flying back and forth. The Southerners didn't use the hills to their military advantage. Battle stressed soldiers are more prone to infection than the general population because of their immuno-compromised state and living conditions so that more of Liu Bei's men should have succumbed to the Typhoid disease whose mode of transmission was not known to the Chinese physicians of that time. Why did Cao Cao chase after a married woman when all those villages he over-ran had plenty of young maidens to chose from? He could have had his own harem!

fyi: A regular staple at every Chinese buffet that I've been to is the dish called General Zhou's Chicken. This is the only reason why I went to check this movie out, to see the man behind the chicken--oops! that didn't quite come out sounding right--well, you know what I mean. I wonder what will happen if General Zhou's Chicken and Colonel Sander's Chicken get together? Which one is better? Who will win? I don't care what happens so long as there's plenty of steamed rice involved--it's an Asian thing. Funny thing is I didn't see any chicken in this movie!

Supposedly, the floating Chinese lanterns have been mistaken for UFOs on occasion.

When I was around four or five years of age in Kidapawan, Cotabato, Mindanao, Philippines, the talk around town was about the recent outbreaks ( I don't know where ) of Cholera, Typhoid and Malaria. I was with my mother across the highway from the municipal building and close to her clinic as she and some other ladies expressed grave concern about the situation. I was too young to understand those three foreign words but I equated them with great fear and death based on my observation of the adults as they talked about such matters. I was afraid of these three words for years!

My parents at one time gave me and my siblings a pet turtle when we were still living at an apartment complex in Matina, Davao City, Mindanao, Philippines. One of my playmates told me that a turtle is so strong that it could crawl around even with a fat little kid like me standing on its back. He was right! When my family moved to GSIS Heights Subdivision two or three miles away, we put our turtle in our new backyard. It disappeared, only to reappear two years later before we left for the States. If it didn't die of disease or get eaten, it probably is still there since turtles have a long life span.

word of advice: You either lust for Power or you lust for Women, but you can't lust for both ( to paraphrase what Jesus Christ once said ).

It ain't the size but the action that counts. Ahem!

tidbits: I decided to leave my car at the El Cerrito Del Norte Bart Station so I could walk around downtown Berkeley and see how my left foot would handle it because I've been bothered by heel pain for over two months now and it does not seem to want to go away. I wore boots to have more ankle support. But for all of my effort, I ended-up with a painful ankle AND heel when I got home.

As I went through the turnstiles at the station, I used my left hand to put my train ticket in my T-shirt's chest pocket as I headed for the men's room. I waited in line because the men's room was occupied. While I waited, I reached into my chest pocket to make sure that my ticket was in it. It wasn't. I emptied my pocket and went through my check stub, deposit slip, and napkins to look for my ticket. I checked the floor to see if it had fallen--highly unlikely. Then I went to the station agent and told her that I couldn't find my ticket. She stepped out of her booth and helped me to look for it. Unable to find it, she went back to her booth and gave me a $3.00 value ticket to use. I walked up the escalator and waited on the platform for the approaching train to come to a halt. At that moment, something in me made me check the inside pocket of my fleece-lined, hooded green jacket. The ticket was there! I don't know how it got there, but it was there. So I decided not to board that train so I could go downstairs to return the $3.00 ticket to the station agent. I decided to go use the men's room after all since I had some extra time on my hands.

When I got to downtown Berkeley, I was about to cross Allston Way since I had the right-of-way but this white haired old white bitch in an SUV just glared at me as she did a right turn and cut me off! Woman driver!

When I got to the cinema, I checked the showtimes and found out that I was one hour and fifteen minutes early. So I walked around looking for a buffet without success. I decided to have lunch at the MacDonald's Restaurant on the corner of University Avenue and Shattuck Avenue. After I finished my meal, I still had time to do thirty minutes' worth of mantras. And I did just that.

At 3:32 p.m., a skinny, white blind man stepped into the MacDonald's restaurant. As he was walking with his white cane towards the counter, one of the dining patrons, an elderly black lady asked him if he saw ___ today. He said that he did at nine o'clock this morning. This begs the question: How can a blind man see? It's a miracle! Hallelujah.

Finally, it was getting close to showtime. As I walked down Shattuck Avenue toward the cinema, I decided to check out a bookstore to see if they have a raw food cookbook ( it's an oxymoron, I know ). But they were out because, according to the clerk, it sells like hot cakes and they can never keep it in stock. Imagine that! Well, off I went. And before I got to Allston Way, again, there was a small group of people this time making a religious protest, claiming that the Lost Tribes of Israel are the Blacks, Seminole Indians, and eight other groups of people. With my college background in Archaeology, Physical Anthropology, Cultural Anthropology, Geology, Anatomy & Physiology, and World Religions--not to mention my Bible research-- I was tempted to stop and engage them in a lively debate but I was there in Berkeley solely as a movie critic, not a debater. They got lucky, to say the least ....

After the movie, on my way to the Bart Station, I passed by the same group of looneys with one of them reading a passage from the Bible while another one was video-taping it. They should all take the time to read the Old Testament books of 1st Kings, 2nd Kings, 1st Chronicles and 2nd Chronicles to find out how stupidly wrong they are! Some people, I swear ....

OLD DOGS, PG ( 1 hr & 28 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Wednesday, November 25th, 2009
show: 4:35 p.m.
costs: $7.25 Ticket + $4.25 medium Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke = $11.50
auditorium: 1
seat: 3rd row, 6th column

synopsis: Teaching a pair of old dogs some new tricks.

Seven years after a wild night out of drinking, partying and sex to ease the pain of his divorce, Dan ( Robin Williams ), finds himself the unexpected father of fraternal twins, Emily ( Ella Blue Travolta ) and Zach ( Conner Rayburn ) through a one-night marital fling with Vicki ( Kelly Preston ) at a very inopportune time: He and his best friend/business partner, the fun-loving bachelor, Charlie ( John Travolta ), are about to land the biggest business deal of their lives. Frantically multi-tasking together to balance family life with business life, they soon find out that they need to prioritize the role which is the most important for all those concerned.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Out at the park; 2.) "Fremont"; 3.) Incontinent old dog, Lucky ( Sebastian ); 4.) Tanned Dan; 5.) The surprise; 6.) Bathroom break; 7.) Jenna's ( Rita Wilson ) hands; 8.) "We" not "me"; 9.) Pamela's Restaurant; 10.) Flirting with the interpreter, Amanda ( Lori Loughlin ); 11.) At Casa De Amore, an "adults only" community; 12.) Charlie's "crib"; 13.) Safety Squad; 14.) Pioneer Campground orientation; 15.) Tent-building; 16.) Bear skat; 17.) Touch Frisbee; 18.) Skeet shooting; 19.) Medicine cabinet; 20.) Golf game; 21.) Bereavement club; 22.) Jimmy Lunchbox ( Bernie Mac ); 23.) King Fontana and Princess Emily; 24.) Board of Marketeers; 25.) Baseball game; 26.) "Final and only" offer; 27.) Hand-made presents; 28.) Family talk; 29.) Failed proposition; 30.) The sad news; 31.) The zoo; 32.) The group photo; and 33.) Photo-shopped picture montage ( beginning credits ) and dedication to Bernie Mac and Jett Travolta ( ending credits ).

audience reaction: The audience enjoyed this funny movie although it didn't get a "Hands Clapper" at the end.

recommendation: This movie has some very funny scenes involving the unintentional misuse of prescription drugs. Go see this movie.

spoiler alert! Vicki said that her twins were 7 years old but she and Dan met 7 years ago so either she's bad in math or she came with a pair of "luggage" that eventful evening! Why would Charlie have an incontinent dog inside the house and sleeping in his bed? Why don't they know what their prescription drugs look like? The group shot at the end shows the infant and the kids with a big grin on their faces as if to imply that the little ones--and all the non-medicated ones, for that matter--have a "habit" ....

fyi: Seth Green loves to play the role of a "bitch" for big, hairy creatures. 'Remember 2004's WITHOUT A PADDLE?

I had a cat named Winky II, an orange tabby Manx of the "rumpie" kind, which became incontinent in its old age. I used to tell him, E. Mush ( my nickname for him ), you smell like "old fart" with bladder problem. But despite his incontinence, and also chronic diarrhea in his old age which forced us to keep him outdoors most of the time, he was my number one favorite cat.

I found Winky II as an abandoned little kitten out on the street. He was so weak and sleepy when I took him in that he barely moved around for about three days except to feed himself. He bonded with me. I named him Winky II because we had an orange ( with white underbelly ) Rex back in the Philippines of the same name. My eldest sister took pity on him and said, "You're like Little Orphan Annie." And I quipped, He's more like little orphan anus!

I remember Winky II's first Halloween with us in 1985. He had been out all night. Early the next day before dawn, I went to my 1978 Honda Civic CVCC Hondamatic parked at the curb and warmed it up before leaving for work. Then, I noticed Winky II sitting on the sidewalk in front of our old house in East Oakland, CA and looking at me through nearly closed eyes. Since my car was still warming-up, I decided to go to him and pet him first before leaving. As I went to pet him, I noticed that between his front paws was a roll of Sweetart ( you know, as in "sweetheart" ) candy. I guess he spent the night observing the little trick-or-treaters collect candies door-to-door and made the connection that such things are important to humans and therefore presented me with one that a kid had unknowingly dropped! That little snack-size candy is by far and away THE BEST PRESENT anyone had ever given me!

Winky II was a very smart cat, he always observed me to see which of the things he did would please me and which wouldn't. And he would always make it a point to please me. I miss him so much. Perhaps, I shall blog again about him someday when it becomes appropriate.

word of advice: Familiarize yourself well with the prescription drugs that you take and don't trust anybody to sort/organize them for you.

Even animals have human characteristics ( "Animals are people, too" ). So, what makes a human human?

When it comes to presents, indeed, "it's the thought that counts."

tidbits: I walked to Office Depot after the show to buy a 12-pack of pocket size notebooks for my movie reviews. Then, I went to the CVS store to buy straps for my wristwatch but they don't sell them anymore. Finally, I went to the Dollar Tree store at the Target Shopping Center to buy a toilet bowl cleaner and an umbrella. They sold out of umbrellas. Before I got in my car, I called my sister in Michigan to see if she already had read my blog on THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON. She said that she already did, and that it was funny; but she hasn't finished reading my blog on 2012 yet.