when: Saturday, June 25th, 2011
show: 5:15 p.m.
costs: $9.75 Ticket + $1.00 1.2 oz. Jack Link's All-American Beef & Cheese ( bought at the nearby CVS Drugstore & smuggled-in ) + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $13.74 dinner @ Empire Chinese Buffet ( + $2.26 Tip ) after the movie = $30.75
auditorium: 13
seat: 5th row, 7th column
synopsis/overview: After being dumped by her rich fiance, a gold-digger, Elizabeth Halsey ( Cameron Diaz ) goes back to her profession as a teacher at John Adams Middle School ( JAMS ). Then, a new--and very rich--colleague, Scott Delacorte ( Justin Timberlake ), gets her scheming once more, only to put her at odds with the school's well-liked teacher, Amy Squirrel ( Lucy Punch ), who may have an "easy-life" scheme of her own, too.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) "Almost $40.00"; 2.) His and hers; 3.) "No more opera"; 4.) Back to school; 5.) "Paranoid condom users"; 6.) "This was fun, huh"; 7.) Crazy ride; 8.) Cookies; 9.) "I don't eat muff pie"; 10.) New substitute teacher; 11.) "Big heart"; 12.) "Take 'em for a spin"; 13.) "Wanna get wasted"; 14.) Dolphins; 15.) Car wash; 16.) Faculty men's toilet; 17.) Pro-Choice; 18.) Parents/teacher meeting; 19.) New tits fund; 20.) Favorite book; 21.) "Salary plus tips"; 22.) Winter dance; 23.) Gym; 24.) Seriously; 25.) X-O, X-O; 26.) New Year Count-Down; 27.) Fun underwear; 28.) Bonus; 29.) To Kill A Mockingbird; 30.) "Twilight"; 31.) Medicinal; 32.) Grading papers; 33.) "I don't mean you"; 34.) Standardized test; 35.) "What turns me on"; 36.) Metal desk; 37.) "Annie's wig"; 38.) Bonus award; 39.) Mr. Apple; 40.) "What's wrong with your face"; 41.) Copy of the State test; 42.) "Who knows what else she's capable of"; 43.) "Your jeans feel so good against my jeans"; 44.) "Even your forehead is sexy"; 45.) Message; 46.) Honest Abe; 47.) "I never have, and I never will"; 48.) Gift; 49.) "I'm going through such a tough time"; 50.) Confrontation; 51.) "Tell me my mission again"; 52.) Invelope; 53.) Statement; 54.) Drug-sniffing dog; 55.) Transfer; 56.) "Hold my ball sack"; 57.) "Let's do that again"; and 58.) Guidance Counselor.
favorite scenes: I liked the Distracted Cop scene.
I liked the Faculty Men's Toilet scene.
and I liked the "Dry Sex" scene.
audience reaction: The audience really liked this movie. But nobody gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.
recommendation: I liked this movie, too. Go see it.
spoiler alert! Elizabeth is not the kind of Bad teacher you hear or read about in the news these days--you know, the "sexual" kind. Yeah, so--of course--it was a bit of a disappointment in that sense. I think teachers who cuss and swear in the presence of their students get fired--so much for "Free Speech"! What "Free Speech"? Ha, ha, ha. Those breasts looked real. Do they really have the faculty use "medical/medicinal marijuana" on campus in today's schools? Doesn't repeatedly hitting a kid in the face with a ball constitute child abuse? When did Elizabeth find the time to make a "false bottom" for her desk since she didn't go to school early and she didn't like staying in school after class? A drug test would have easily cleared the accuse of any wrongdoing.
fyi: What did I do in 7th grade? Hmm ... let's see--Ooh! I know: Nothing. There's no such thing as middle school in the Philippines--at least, not when I was going to school there. Kids just go from Grade 6 to First Year ( Freshman ) high school.
This girl I know from work once left me her Warner's front-opening "The Naked Truth" sheer bra, size 34b, as a souvenir. I keep it nice and safe in a Ziploc bag, for old time's sake. Which reminds me, I gotta go pull it out of my dresser drawer and once again enjoy it's faintly-perceptible-by-now "essence". Ahem!
Don't bother Googling "sheer bra" on the Internet: All the models have flesh-tone pasties on! Which kinda sucks because there's all kinds of porn on the Internet BUT LINGERIE MODELS HAVE TO HAVE PASTIES ON! Bummer .... I fail to see the logic in it at all. But if you still want to know what a sheer bra looks like, "borrow" your mom's, sister's, girlfriend's, or neighbor's nylon stockings and stretch it across your bare chest to get that "Nipple Effect" going!
I'm not a fan of big breasts. Give me a beautiful slender girl with small to medium size firm breasts and I'm a very happy guy! Woo-hoo! Just imagine me as Tom Cruise jumping up and down on Oprah's couch and you get the "picture".
And before I forget, I like small areolae. And I don't like "Marshmallow Puff" nipples. But I don't mind inverted nipples at all.
I was with an ex-Playboy Bunny one time. And she had fake breasts. When she mashed her left breast against my face, it didn't feel real at all. It felt like the way a bag of Blue Ice feels when you handle it. Yeah, it was a big "turn-off" for me ( I'm not impotent! Remember ...? ).
I had this classmate in my CLEP ( college level English preparatory ) class who needed more time to finish doing his essay. So, to curry a favor, he came to class with a Red Delicious Apple for the teacher. It ... was ... the ... BIGGEST ... apple ... that ... I've ... ever ... seen ... in ... my ... whole ... life! Ever!!! It was almost the size of a cantaloupe. I don't know what the Guinness Book Of World Record is for an apple, but that thing was super-humongously huge!
This movie reminded me of a CANDID CAMERA episode. In this particular episode, a small-breasted daughter who hadn't seen her parents for quite a while decided to play a practical joke on them. She arranged for the prank to be set-up at some restaurant. So, her parents were seated at their table waiting for their daughter to show up. When she finally walked-in with "generously-enhanced" breasts, the look of shock/surprise on her parents faces made me laugh hysterically--it was a classic!
word of advice: Teachers should set a good example for their students by behaving professionally.
tidbits: Okay, so ... again, somebody ( a customer ) at work today greeted me by saying, "Hello, handsome." What's up with these people ( both male and female ), anyway? I don't think they use the same mirror that I use. I mean, come on, I look like a Filipino version of the Hollywood actor Esai Morales. ( Who? Yeah, exactly .... ) No offense to him, but I honestly don't find him attractive at all. Besides, he never was voted as the world's sexiest man--ever! What does that tell you? But, maybe when I make it to Hollywood with my hunkier bod, things will change. I had better stop pigging-out at buffets and get back to doing my fitness routine just to get ready for my publicity/celebrity photo shoot as Cine-Man.
And speaking of buffets ....
The waitress who waited on me at the Chinese buffet had a pack of ramen noodles at her station's work counter. I think that having something like that out in the open for the dining patrons to see is bad for business.
Anyway .... The family seated at the next table had fun with the father's fortune cookie. He told his family that he and his friends used to get a kick out of reading their cookies' fortune then adding, "In bed," at the end of it. So, he read his fortune: "Nothing is more precious than having good friends." And he immediately added, "In bed." The whole family laughed.
"Between the sheets," is what I learned from a co-worker. They're both interchangeable, pretty much. And my cookie's fortune read, "Let reality be reality"--"between the sheets" ( or, "in bed" ). In other words, if my "one night stand" turns out to be less than what I expected, I shall not complain because there's no telling when I'll get lucky again. Ha, ha, ha.
Come to think of it, "In bed" and/or "Between the sheets," will also work on my word of advice. To wit: Teachers should set a good example for their students by behaving "professionally" "in bed" and/or "between the sheets." Bad teacher, bad ....
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