JACK AND JILL, PG ( 1 hr & 31 min )

where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Friday, November 11th, 2011
show:  1:50 p.m.
costs:  $8.00 Ticket + $1.00 bag of Mixed Nuts ( bought at a Dollar Tree Store and smuggled-in ) + $4.75 small Diet Coke = $13.75
auditorium:  5
seat:  3rd row, 14th column


synopsis/overview:  An ad executive, Jack ( Adam Sandler ),  dreads the coming of Thanksgiving when he'll be forced, once again, to spend some family time with his annoying twin sister, Jill.  But when he finds out that Al Pacino, an advertising prospect,  has a crush on his sister, Jack stops at nothing to extend Jill's  stay long enough for Al to sign on the dotted line.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Twins interview; 2.) Ad shoot; 3.) Dunkaccino; 4.) Airport terminal; 5.) Bird; 6.) Homeless man; 7.) Sweat shadow; 8.) Dinner table; 9.) Calculator; 10.) To-do list; 11.) Swimming pool; 12.) Movie theatre; 13.) Computer dating profile; 14.) Identical, fraternal, nocturnal; 15.) "Throwing her to the wolves"; 16.) "What are you gonna wear, daddy, in Hell"; 17.) The dinner date; 18.) "Busted, disgusted, never to be trusted"; 19.) "I want to choke on my own vomit"; 20.) Celebrity cam; 21.) "He just wants to play Twister with your sister"; 22.) 6:32 a.m.; 23.) Birthday party; 24.) Panic button; 25.) Stick ball; 26.) "It flew in my bread"; 27.) Picnic; 28.) Deal; 29.) "It's not you, it's the chimichanga"; 30.) "Chocolate squirties"; 31.) Windows; 32.) "God told me your feet were on my desk"; 33.) The stage play; 34.) "I can smell Horny across the ocean"; 35.) Double Dutch; 36.)  Men's room; 37.) Tickle; 38.) Weight room; 39.) Knock-out punch; 40.) Displace melons; 41.) Heartfelt talk; 42.) The Impossible Dream song; 43.) "Deathbed love"; 44.) Night club; 45.) Don Quixote; 46.) "I'm kidding"; 47.) TV ad; and 48.) Bonus scenes during and after the Ending Credits.

favorite scenes:  I liked the Bird In The SUV On The Way Home From The Airport scene.

I liked the Identical, Fraternal, Nocturnal scene.

I liked the Picnic scene.

I liked the Double Dutch scene.

I liked the Men's Room scene.

I liked the Knock-out Punch scene.

I liked the Don Quixote scene.

audience reaction:  The audience was entertained by this.  But nobody gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation:  It was funny enough.  And I was the only one in the audience who got the "He's going back home" joke in reference to the homeless man--Yes!  This movie is stupid and funny which, I guess, is what endears Adam Sandler to his legions of fans out there.  Go see this if you're into stupid and funny movies.

spoiler alert!  This is a stupid and funny movie.  How was the boy able to tape the salt shaker so quickly to his forehead when the last time that we saw him he was still busy taping a drumstick to his chest?  And how does he tape things to his back without anybody's help?  I don't know about you, but I think that Jill should have fallen for you-know-who, instead.

fyi: Back in my Humanities class in college, the professor showed us the 1972 movie, MAN OF LA MANCHA.  It was the first and only time that I saw the movie.  The scene with The Impossible Dream song really moved me!  I was just glad that the lights in the classroom were turned-off or my classmates would have seen me with tears rolling down my eyes!

Here's a neat use for scotch tape:  Put scotch tape on your frown lines, crow's feet and smile lines before going to bed at night.  Remove them in the morning and behold a younger-looking you in the mirror.  I've got more beauty tips, but this is all for now!

People may think that Al Pacino's crush on Jill is too inconceivable to be believable.  But when I was younger ( emphasis on younger ), I had a crush on big-nosed, plain-looking famous Jewish women.  I'm talking about Barbra Streisand, Bette Midler and Sandra Bernhard.  And as if that wasn't enough, I actually had sexual fantasies about them!!!   I know that I've got Jewish blood on my mother's side of the family but couldn't my Jewish DNA and Jewish Testosterone have come up with much better Lust choices for me to drool on?  ( It didn't help matters much for me especially after Sandra Bernhard did a Playboy Magazine photo shoot, after a photo of  Better Midler circulated with her showing her tushy to her fans and  after news broke-out that Barbra Streisand was rumored to have been in a porn movie! )  But, now, whenever  I think about these childhood crushes of mine, I shudder ( should that be, Shrivel? ) at the thought of doing the "nasty deed" with them!

word of advice:  You're the only one in the world who knows who your true love is.

tidbits:  After watching the IMMORTALS, I still had plenty of time in my hands before this movie started.  So, I went down to the lower level of the mall to go to Best Buy and buy a top-up card for my cellphone.  But I almost missed the opening scene of this movie because there was a delay at the check-out line.

A mom and her son stayed 'til after the Ending Credits.  And, as they started to walk out of the auditorium, the kid said, "I thought it was gonna splat and go all over the screen."  ( In reference to the last Bonus Scene. )  What a Stupid Kid remark!

And there was a dad who told his son to save the large tub of popcorn because he wanted to get more popcorn at the concessions counter before they leave the theatre.  Well, for the price that he paid for the popcorn, I guess he was entitled to act like a Cheapskate Dad.

When I got back to Vallejo, I went to the Selecta Pilipino Buffet for a late lunch.

Then, I walked next door to the  99 Cent Only Store to buy a three-litre size Orange Soda.  Some guy was outside the store with his pirated DVDs for sale, all lined-out neatly on the ground--I don't know, but I think that I should have called the cops on him.  Hey, maybe I'll do that next time.


Special Announcement:   I would like to take this time to say, Thank You and Welcome, to my readers in ...


Armenia


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PUSS IN BOOTS I-MAX 3-D, PG ( 1 hr & 30 min )

where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Friday, October 28ht, 2011
show:  12:00 p.m.
costs:  $17.50 Ticket + $5.25 Zap Pack = $22.75
auditorium:  12
seat:  4th row, 6th seat

synopsis/overview:  Goosezilla is coming!

Long before he met Shrek, Puss in Boots was the local town hero until he was wrongly-accused of stealing from the local bank.

Now an outcast, he comes face to face with the ex-friend who used him, Humpty Dumpty.   Reluctantly, Puss in Boots agrees to help his former friend to steal a Goose that lays Golden Eggs, if only to compensate his old town's bank and restore honor to his name.  But before that can happen, they have to steal Jack and Jill's Magic Beans with the help of the best cat burglar in the world, Kitty Soft Paws.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) "You can't run forever"; 2.) Bar; 3.) "No baby muffins"; 4.) "You snap me"; 5.) Dance fight; 6.) "I smell something familiar"; 7.) "It ain't Over-Easy"; 8.) Distraction; 9.) The orphanage years; 10.) Second chance; 11.) Style advice; 12.) No claws; 13.) Bridge; 14.)  "You're better"; 15.) "Cat people are crazy"; 16.) The beanstalk; 17.) Funny voices; 18.) Castle; 19.) Golden suit; 20.) "I need powder"; 21.) Egg paradise; 22.) River; 23.) Parachute; 24.) "He looks just like you"; 25.) "Our cue"; 26.) Celebratory dance; 27.) Interlopers; 28.) Tumbleweed; 29.) Surprise; 30.) Revenge; 31.) "Not you, too"; 32.) "It's for my glaucoma"; 33.) "Out for blood"; 34.) Escape; 35.) Weather report; 36.) "Prove to me that there is still a good egg in you"; 37.) Mother goose; 38.) "Nice boots"; 39.) Hanging for dear life; 40.) "San Ricardo's greatest hero"; 41.) "She's a bad kitty"; 42.) "I am Puss in Boots"; 43.) Glitter Box; and 44.) "Ooh ...."

audience reaction:  The audience liked this.  But it didn't get a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation:  I liked this movie, too.  It's a movie to take your little brats to.  Go see it in regular 3-D, at least, if possible.


spoiler alert!  Actually, when a cat licks up any liquid, it must curl its tongue downwards first in order for it to scoop-up the liquid.  I thought that Humpty Dumpty couldn't get up by himself, but he was able to get up all by himself in one scene.  They were out in the desert when the storm hit; but Humpty Dumpty never covered his eyes.  I think that there was a bad scene edit when they were floating in the river under the Giant's Castle; but it happened too quickly while I was scribbling notes in the dark and adjusting my I-Max 3-D glasses for me to pay any close attention to this particular scene.


fyi:  There are places in the world were declawing a cat is considered barbaric.  Apparently, the good ol' USA isn't one of them because my family took-in a part-Siamese stray female cat that was declawed.  I named her, Nicky, because it was around Christmas time that she came meowing at our front door.

The funny thing about Nicky was that she would suck on her hind paw to get herself to sleep.  A local veterinarian said that she probably was given away as a kitten before she was fully weaned.  Oh, and she looked like a young Barbra Streisand!  L.O.L.

Puss in Boots said that Cat People are crazy.  There's actually some truth to that.  And the cause of the eccentricity has to do with a mild microbial "infection" from  a certain parasite that cats have.  It has been so many years since I studied Microbiology so I don't really remember which one it is, or its mode of transmission and/or the severity/duration  of the condition/infection.

I'm a cat person, so you know what that means ....

word of advice:  Be a trust-worthy friend.

tidbits:  I was gonna go see IN TIME first.  But I didn't get to this theatre in time for the 11:10 a.m. show!  I got to the theatre nine minutes after the movie had already started, not counting the Previews.

I whiled the time away by calling my friend, Hector, on my cellphone to ask him about the "Occupy Oakland" protesters who were rough-handled by the police a day or two ago.


Special Announcement:  I would like to take this time to say, Thank You and Welcome, to my readers in:


Uganda


Thank you, once again.  Please keep on reading my weekly updates.  And don't forget to tell all of your friends, and every one else who you know, about my movie review blogsite.


P.S.  It's good to know that I'm seeing hits from Russia again.  For a while there, I thought my movie review blogs were banned in Russia because my blogsite's All-Time ( most ) Page-Views by Countries doesn't include Russia anymore.

And speaking of Page-Views by Countries,  I now have a total of 117 countries on my readership list!  Quite an accomplishment, I must say.  I think I'll celebrate by seeing more movies--goes without saying ....