where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Saturday, September 4th, 2010
show: 2:30 p.m.
costs: $9.75 Ticket + $6.00 upgraded Kid's Pack + $13.75 dinner at Empire Buffet after the show ( + $2.00 Tip ) = $31.50
auditorium: 8
seat: 5th row, 12 column
synopsis: A Mexican Federale known as Machete ( Danny Trejo ) escapes an attempt on his life and goes on a "lay-low" across the border in Texas. But trouble catches up with him and, once again, he finds himself in a fight for his life--but not without help this time around.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) Rescue attempt; 2.) Cellphone; 3.) Border agent on stake-out ( Jessica Alba ); 4.) Vigilante border patrol; 5.) TV commercial; 6.) Taco truck operator, Luz ( Michelle Rodriguez ); 7.) "The senator must die"; 8.) Weapon of choice; 9.) Methamphetamine lab; 10.) Financial aid; 11.) Sen. McLaughlin's ( Robert De Niro ) speech; 12.) Betrayal; 13.) "I didn't frisk him"; 14.) Live chat with Torrez ( Steven Seagal ); 15.) Hospital; 16.) Surgical instruments; 17.) Intestine; 18.) Local news; 19.) Egg; 20.) Shower; 21.) "'You speak .45"; 22.) Shack; 23.) Taking out trash; 24.) 1-( 800 ) Hit-Man; 25.) "Because we're both cops"; 26.) Network; 27.) Confessional; 28.) Mexican; 29.) File; 30.) New gardener; 31.) Pool; 32.) Sex video; 33.) Campaign ad; 34.) Evidence; 35.) "I ( heart ) April ( Lindsay Lohan ); 36.) "Eye for an eye"; 37.) Church shoot-out; 38.) Intruders; 39.) Video; 40.) "He's back"; 41.) "I'll do what's right"; 42.) News conference; 43.) Nun's habit; 44.) Roll-out; 45.) Gun battle; 46.) The new Mexican with no other choice left; 47.) "Welcome to America"; and 48.) "I'm already a myth."
favorite scenes: The improvised "rope" used in Machete's escape at the hospital. Although I honestly don't think that it can hold his weight without getting torn-off at the source.
I also liked how when the truck crashed through the wall, the senator was practically on the toilet seat--it's all about the "in-the-crapper" symbolism.
audience reaction: The audience enjoyed this wickedly funny and gory bloodbath-of-a-revenge movie.
recommendation: I liked it, too. But you'd have to be a Robert Rodriguez fan--which I'm really not--to fully appreciate this "played for ( violent ) laughs" movie.
spoiler alert! How did he manage to escape from being burned alive? Why didn't Machete speak with a Mexican accent? After all, Torrez did--on occasion! Why would you put a suspect in the back of a patrol car without cuffing him first? Okay ... the egg "thing" ... now that's a new one on me! I'm just glad that I don't go to confessions anymore. How was he able to type-in the heart-shaped symbol for the password? A puncture wound forms a tight seal around a pointed and tapered object thrust through any body part and left in place. Or, in other words, when the priest ( Cheech Marin ) was nailed to the cross, his blood should not have squirted out. Why did the bad guys take so long to fire back at the attacking good guys? That must have been one really hard eyeball which kept the bullet from penetrating the brain. What's with the border-patrol-agent-in-high-heels look?
fyi: What all this "illegal immigrants from Mexico" that the news media saturate the general public with does is just to keep us distracted from the atrocities that are committed constantly on the Mexican Southern border. The Mexican authorities who patrol their Southern border rob, rape and kill people from Belize, Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, etc. who are trying to illegally-cross into the United States through Mexico. So, the press is always giving the United States a bad name, but you'll never hear a bad word said about how Mexicans patrol their Southern border! Think about that the next time you read the papers or watch the news about illegal immigrants.
Many of the Western States at one time belonged to Mexico. So, are Mexicans entering such States doing so illegally? After all, all the anti-Semitic world want the Palestinians to have a place in Israel. If the Palestinians are allowed to be repatriated into Israel, why doesn't the anti-American world force the United States to repatriate the Mexicans into the States that were once their own? I'm just being a devil's advocate here, if only to make a point.
How is Lindsay Lohan going to revive her derailed acting career with this movie after all her public melt-downs and crazy publicity stunts? It looks like "downhill" for her from now on. After all, she portrays the porn star, Linda Lovelace, in an up-coming movie--and it had better be at least an NC-17 movie or I'm not going to review it ( maybe )!
Puneta ( Damn it! ) was one of my late father's favorite Spanish expression.
word of advice: What goes around, comes around.
Don't bring un carrito de helado ( ice cream cart ), un rastrillo ( rake ) y una escoba ( broom ) tambien ( also ) to a gunfight.
tidbits: I decided to have an early dinner after the show at Empire Buffet because I haven't seen the owner's daughter the last half dozen times that I was there. But, there she was--beautiful as ever! I guess she only works on weekends now. I'm not a stalker, just an admirer, mind you.
attention: It is getting closer and closer to the Annual Weblog Awards. Please select from all my posts for this year then go to the awards website and take the time to nominate one of my blogs--whichever one happens to be your favorite--in the following categories: Best Entertainment Weblog, Most Humorous Weblog, Best-Kept Secret Weblog and/or Best New Weblog. Thank you very much.
