KILLER PIÑATA ( 2015 )

I started to watch this pre-PLANdemic movie at predawn today, Friday, August 1st, 2024, in bed 🛏️ via my cellphone's 🤳 TUBI Streaming App.

Scene Commentaries:

A not-for-sale Piñata is bought and taken home for a backyard birthday celebration for a kid. And there it witnesses one of its buddies get beaten apart, 

spilling its candies all over the ground!

This scene shows a Coca Cola refrigerator to the left:

Mexican soft drinks are sweetened with Sugar, not High Fructose Corn Syrup. Corn Syrup is worse for you than Sugar. As a T-2 Diabetic, I avoid anything with High Fructose Corn Syrup or even just plain ol' Corn Syrup. And I eat very little Sugar now, too!

Uh, oh. This is not looking good:

Alarmed that the piñata was sold!

"You're the baby of the family. 'Luke is the baby of the family.' Luke was a mistake. He's not even supposed to be here."  😃  Luke was an unplanned family planning baby!  😄

I wanted to have a Pontiac Vibe once because it's just a rebadged Toyota Matrix, but slightly better!

And I wanted to give it a custom 

CA license plate: Rey Thor.

Let it sink in!    😜

It was either that or the Ford 👉Probe👈!  😉 You don't want to get your own car rear-ended by a "probe"!  😁

A couple of innocent piñata bystanders.

Que lastima! Pobrecitos.     😢

The unexpected party guest.  😕

It's Capitan Puerto Rico's turn!

Grieving the loss of a superhero friend ...

and the other friend:

"Do you have the strawberry kind?"  😄

Here's one way to really piss-off a piñata:

If you wanna, but she don't wanna ....

means that you've been "friend zoned" until she can find someone else to dump you for! Tuck your "tail" between your legs and move on. Take it from me who also got "friend zoned." Losers stick around just to get more emotionally damaged.  Don't be that delusionally desperate guy.  🤨

There's a saying, "If you love someone,  let her  go. If she comes back, it's because she loves you." Hah, what a chamberpot full of crap!  💩  If she comes back it's only because she got dumped by someone who just wanted to get in her pants! Trust me on that! Don't be a "Sloppy seconds Joe" schmo!! There's plenty of fish in the sea!!! Think of it as an " upgrade."  👌❗👍

The reason why I don't ever want to restart a relationship with someone boils down to this: Since she didn't give me a chance, there's no reason why I should give her a 2nd chance❗Or, to put it another way, give her a taste of her own bad medicine❗❗ At that point, she's just a Bad Memory From My Past Anyway❗❗❗

Loser Guy looks like Josh Hutcherson:

Friend Zone Alert! 🚨 

Here's a rarity these days:

A computer with a disk 📀 player.

A few years ago, I was shopping for a new laptop 💻. I was told that they stopped putting a CD/DVD player in such computers. They're just peripheral add-ons now! It didn't make sense to me back then. I hope that computer makers put it back in for those of us who still have such 💿 disks! 📀 Because I don't want my Binaural Beats Sound Meditation CDs compressed because the music loses sound quality when compressed! And I invested thousand$ of dollar$ on such CDs already❗

"How are you doing that? Whatever you're doing to my ass!"  😬  "Wait. How are you in two places at once?"  😧

Coitus Interruptus of 

the evil kind. 

Good question! 

🤔

Bro, when are you gonna listen to me? 🤷‍♂️

She's holding out for the right guy, not the right-now guy! That's what friend-zoning is!! Dump her already!!! Don't go around asking yourself later, "Why did I even want to be with her in the first place?" Because, by then, she'll be just "damaged goods"❗ 🤨  On the other hand ....  😶‍🌫️

You know, back when this movie was made, the Flashlight 🔦 App was already available for downloading. Why are you 2 walking around in the dark with a Bic Lighter for?  🤦‍♂️

The origin of La Piñata.  😲

Scott has a point:

In such a situation, people's need for "self preservation" of one's genetic code actually makes one get the urge to have sex!  😏

Hey, even La Piñata knows the importance of "self preservation."  😒

🙊

At least he died happy.  🙃

This is not gonna end well.  😨

There's a Bonus Scene after the Ending Credits.  😶

This might become a College Town Friday Late Night Cult Classic movie.  🧐

Tidbits:

Here are my walking results from yesterday:

6.90 kilometers 

6.66 km

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It's only fair:

🇵🇭 Pinoy Pride 🇵🇭

🇺🇲 USA, USA, USA 🇺🇸

An update on this boxing controversy:

👇 https://www.facebook.com/reel/1512260452725102?mibextid=9drbnH

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On hunter exposing cia agents to the chy-nese government because his client was arrested by the doj!

👇 https://www.facebook.com/dan.bongino/videos/798791172281152/?mibextid=9drbnH

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On the "Great Replacement Theory" of whites:

👇 https://www.facebook.com/dan.bongino/videos/800752715464378/?mibextid=9drbnH

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Dangerous, Decrepit, Dotard, Poopy-pants, Pee-pad, Pervy, Sniffy-Sniff, Foreign Agent brandon wants to deliberately thin out the Secret Service Agents to endanger Pres. Trump's life once again in the upcoming months, on US Citizens Taxpayers' money ❗😠❗😡❗🤬❗🖕❗

👉 https://www.facebook.com/dan.bongino/videos/1670902470395217/?mibextid=9drbnH

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On the woke military ....

👉 https://www.facebook.com/reel/1157504078849768/?mibextid=CDWPTG

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On iran's response to HAM👉Ass leader haniyeh's assassination ...

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On the prisoner exchange, a sharp contrast:

The full trade list is out regarding the prisoner swap between the U.S. and Russia. Here's a quick breakdown...

Released from Russian custody:

-Evan Gershkovich, a Wall Street Journal correspondent

-Paul Whelan, a former U.S. Marine

-Vladimir Kara-Murza, a political activist

-Ilya Yashin, an opposition politician

-Alsu Kurmasheva, a journalist for Radio Free Europe

-Oleg Orlov, a human rights activist

-Alexandra Skochilenko, an anti-war artist

-Rico Krieger, a former German Red Cross medic

-Kevin Lik, an 18-year-old student

-A few associates of Alexei Navalny, the former political rival of Putin who died earlier this year

Released from U.S./German custody:

-Vladislav Klyushin, Russian businessman and hacker

-Roman Seleznev, a hacker & identity thief

-Vadim Krasikov, an FSB operative and notorious assassin

-Artem Dultsev and Anna Dultseva, espionage artists

-Pavel Rubtsov, undercover spy

-Mikhail Mikushin, undercover agent

-Vadim Konoshchenok, a member of the Serniya smuggling network

What are your thoughts on the exchange?

( from Dennis Michael Lynch )

👉 Russia should get Brittney Griner back, as a bonus since The INGRATE still hates the USA, because she loves to kneel! Let them teach "her" another good reason for kneeling❗ 😉❗

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Here are today's 2-Hour Le Cine-Man's Race winners. Drumroll 🥁 please ....

Congratulations to Singapore for 

winning in 1st place!

🎉🎇🏆🎆🎊

🇸🇬🥇🇸🇬

❗❗

🍾

Congratulations to Israel for

winning in 2nd place!

🇮🇱🥈🇮🇱

❗❗

Congratulations to the USA for 

winning in 3rd place!

🇺🇸🥉🇺🇲

And congrats to Germany for 

winning in 4th place!

🇩🇪🏅🇩🇪

❗❗

❗

Thanks to the countries that participated in today's 24-Hour Race to the Finish! 🏁          🛣️          🏎️

*

CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 47 min )

where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 &  I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Monday, August 8th, 2011
show: 8:00 p.m.
costs:  $0.00 Ticket ( free on movie watcher card ) + $13.40 dinner ( + $2.00 Tip ) @ Hometown Buffet before the movie = $15.40
auditorium:  2
seat:  3rd row, 9th column

synopsis/overview:   Cal Weaver ( Steve Carell ) is living the American Dream: Married to his Beautiful High School Sweetheart, has Two Kids, a Lovely Home and a Good well-paying Job.  If only he didn't "wake-up" to an Infidelity Nightmare: His guilt-ridden wife, Emily ( Julianne Moore ), cheated on him with one of her co-workers, David Lindhagen ( Kevin Bacon ) and now wants a divorce.  Cal moves out to wallow in self-pity.  And he starts to frequent a local bar to drown away his sorrows.  Unbeknown to him, a "player", Jacob ( Ryan Gosling ), has been observing him all this time and has decided to take Cal under his wings and teach him the "Player's" Tricks-of-the-Trade.  Soon, Cal becomes a Ladies' Man and has several  sexual encounters.  But,  deep in his heart, Cal pines for his One True Love, his Soul-Mate, all along.

miscast:  They picked the wrong girl to play the part of  the Babysitter.  If she were topless, she'd be about as stimulating to look at as it would be to look at two Sunny-Side Up Eggs glued to a plank of  wood.  ( To paraphrase a former co-worker of mine at a Dental Laboratory. )
 

noteworthy scenes:  1.) "I want a divorce"; 2.) Picture; 3.) Robbie's ( Jonah Bobo ) bedroom; 4.) Jumping out of the vehicle; 5.) Robbie's "Soul-Mate", Jessica ( Analeigh Tipton ); 6.) "Your life is so PG-13"; 7.) Pick-up line; 8.) Drunk; 9.) "We all thought it was Cancer.  It's just a divorce"; 10.) Mid-Life Crisis;11.) "I can't be friends with you anymore"; 12.) Cuckold; 13.) "You need to hear the truth"; 14.) The offer; 15.) "Unbelievable, he's in love already"; 16.) Hannah ( Emma Stone ) Banana's party; 17.) Shopping mall; 18.) Wardrobe; 19.) "Stop slapping me"; 20.) High school sweetheart; 21.) "Let's get out of here"; 22.) Bar tab; 23.) Divorce For Dummies; 24.) Assholes; 25.) "He's going out a lot"; 26.) The David and Robbie talk; 27.) "What, are you passing out"; 28.) "Oh, my God.  You did.  You Miyagi-ed me"; 29.) "You think I'm sexy and cute"; 30.) "God bless Technology"; 31.) Dining table talk; 32.) "Nasty Jessica"; 33.) Scarlet J; 34.) Night-time gardening; 35.) "I just need some inspiration right now"; 36.) Nine; 37.) "What a cliche"; 38.) Proposal; 39.) Role reversal; 40.) "We're gonna bang"; 41.) "It's like you're Photo-Shopped"; 42.) DIRTY DANCING; 43.) Massage chair; 44.) 'Phone calls; 45.) "Slutty money"; 46.) Private, personal photos; 47.) Emily's call; 48.) Game changer; 49.) Nosy mom; 50.) Enraged dad; 51.) Other daughter; 52.) Big fight; 53.) "Keep it in the family"; 54.) Scene montage; 55.) "Are we gonna be adults about this"; 56.) "Yup, yup.  She spit in that"; 57.) Graduation speech; 58.) "This is gonna be fun"; 59.) "Graduation gift to get you through high school"; and 60.) "I'm still glad you bought me that ice cream."

favorite scenes:  I liked the Sauna scene.

I liked the Parents/Teacher Meeting scene.

I liked the Photo-Shopped scene.

I liked the Big Fight At The Get-Together scene.

audience reaction:  The women in the audience enjoyed this more than the men.  But, then again, there were more women than men in the auditorium.

recommendation:  It's a Chick Flick for fans of the genre.  It was passable entertainment for me.

spoiler alert!  It would have been more believable had Robbie been infatuated with his own teacher, Kate ( Marisa Tomei ), who happened to be better looking than his babysitter.  Those parents at the Parents/Teacher meeting sure were nosy.  Yup, you can say that again:  "What a cliche."  "What, you had sex with nine partners when I only had one?  Hell, I've got some catching-up to do then!  After all, Fair's Fair."  ( I don't know why this rationalization was not put in the equation. )Why were Jessica and her parents at the graduation for since nobody in that family was graduating from 8th Grade, and especially after that big fight?  I'm sure  that Robbie could come-up with better pictures on the Internet to get him through high school! L.O.L.

fyi:  Back in the Philippines, I had a major crush on my Grade Two, Grade Three, Grade Four and Grade Six teachers!  Of course, I had crushes on some of the girls in my Grade Three, Grade Four and Grade Six classes, too!  The point I'm trying to make is that Robbie should have had more than one crush.  And, that he should have had a crush on his teacher, as well.

My "Similar to Robbie's crush" occurred a year later, when I was 14-years old, shortly after my siblings and I arrived here in the United States.  I was sent to Freshman high in 9th Grade.  In one of my classes, I was assigned a project with this blonde girl ( initials, L. J. ) who wore braces.  We were in such close proximity to one another that, had I wanted to, I could have stolen a kiss from her.  She would have been the first girl that I'd have had kissed!  And she and I were flirting with each other.  The other guys in class picked-up on this.  And they teased me about it, that I was trying to hit on her even though she was pudgy-ugly.  It wasn't until my Junior year in high school that I realized just how butt-ugly she was!  I guess my Raging Hormone Surges had subsided enough for my Level-Headed Reasoning to take over.  And I avoided her from that point on--I even refused to sign her yearbook--'sorry to say.

There are two massage chairs right outside the AMC BAY STREET 16 theatre in Emeryville, CA.  Why they have them there, I don't know.

I looked it up.  So, I guess the past tense for Spit can either be Spit or Spat.  But I would prefer to use Spat, instead.

word of  advice:  Love and Sex are not one and the same.

tidbits:  Yesterday,  a Sunday, I went and ate at Selecta Filipino Buffet here in Vallejo, CA.  But, to my surprise, I couldn't eat as much as I wanted to.  So, today, I decided to swing by an all-you-can-eat buffet in Fairfield, CA, the Hometown Buffet, before seeing this movie, thinking that I just had an "Off" day yesterday.

But, again, I could only eat two plates' full!  That's five, I repeat, 5, buffet restaurants in a row where I found myself  unable to eat as much as I used to be able to.  I think that my alter-ego, Pig-Out Man, is withering away--How Sad! how Tragic.  Que lastima!  ( Cue-in a dirge. )  Or, maybe, that Chinese waitress at Super Buffet ( re-read my blog on COWBOYS AND ALIENS ), which I boycotted for over two years, has something to do with it.  Hey! maybe she is a Yogini, for all I know.

Here's something I never saw before at any of the buffets that I frequent:  Amish people!  Wow!  I guess I made quite an impression on some of  the Amish people that I saw last year in Shipshewana, Indiana--and they decided to follow me home on their Horse and Buggy vehicles; and it only took them One Year, One Month and Two Weeks to get here ( 'Just kidding ).  I'm gonna have to invite myself to some of their Rumschpringe events soon!  Heh, heh, heh.  Anyway ....

Amish horse & buggy from Shipshewana, Indiana ( Internet photo )

 The odd thing that I noticed about this Amish group was that  the females wore traditional clothing while the males, without exception, wore plaid shirts and blue jeans--and none of the males  was sporting the traditional beard.  None of them had a watch.  Some of them had sunglasses; and most of the females, young and old, wore eyeglasses.  And they all wore either sandals or sneakers.  And when I stepped out, I couldn't find their tour bus or any horse-drawn carriage at all!  What a mysterious bunch of Amish they were to me.  Maybe, they were just "Play-Acting" the part ....