LEGION, R ( 1 hr & 40 min )

where: BRENDEN CONCORD 14 in Concord, CA
when: Friday, January 22nd, 2010
show: 4:00 p.m.
costs: $7.25 Ticket + $4.25 small Diet Pepsi + $?.?? Buffet Lunch at J.J. North's ( + $1.00 tip ) =
auditorium: 1
seat: 7th row, 12th column

synopsis: Diner-geddon!

When Humanity loses faith in God, He sends His legion of angels to exterminate everyone here on Earth. But a few people trapped in a desert diner , Paradise Falls, fight back for survival in this arma-geddon, aided by the Archangel Michael ( Paul Bettany ).

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Psalm 34:11; 2.) December 23rd; 3.) The "front"; 4.) Diner; 5.) Old lady; 6.) Plague of flies; 7.) Firearms; 8.) Ice cream man; 9.) Evil convoy; 10.) Start talking; 11.) Start getting square; 12.) Reason for faith; 13.) Sacrificial lure; 14.) Your fault; 15.) Flame thrower; 16.) Chucky-wannabe toddler; 17.) Baby; 18.) Future's unwritten; 19.) Standstill crowd; 20.) The archangels; 21.) Out of business; 22.) Flare gun; 23.) Crash; 24.) Cliff; 25.) No mercy; and 26.) Driving off.

audience reaction: Lukewarm, at best.

recommendation: This should have been a "straight to video" movie. I know that there are those of you who would say that it is just a movie. But anyone with a knowledge of the Bible would be very disappointed by this "Operation Disinformation" put forth by Hollywood--or treat it like the comedy of errors that it is! This is strictly a rental.

spoiler alert! There is no such thing as an angel, especially an Archangel, sporting tattoos all over its body! All the servants of God, both Humans and Angels, are sealed on their forehead ( i.e., kept safe from Evil influence ) just as the followers of the Beast are sealed on their forehead ( i.e., kept away from Salvation ) and branded on their right hand ( i.e., powerless to resist Evil ). One angel can easily kill at least 185,000 heavily-armed soldiers ( 2nd Kings 19:35 ). Or God can just make them go blind ( 2nd Kings 6:18 ) so they can't fight against His Heavenly Host. Shouldn't the quoted verse instead be Psalm 34:16? Why does the Archangel Michael use a knife and an assault rifle against another immortal? ( Quick! somebody, go fetch his Flaming Sword. ) For someone who has been through the "Pearly Gates", Archangel Michael sure ain't got no "Pearly Whites"! Why do the angels have black wings and are dressed in black? Angels are beings of pure white light; anybody who has been meditating for many years and has had encounters with such entities will vouchsafe for my statement. If humans want to pick a fight with angels, they should pick on the Seraphim because they always cover their eyes and are, thus, easy targets! ( Yeah, right .... ) According to the Bible, an angel or some other spirit will appear when a person bleeds ( the reason for flagellation and human sacrifice ), so it would have been easy for the other angels to find out exactly where Michael was. I wanted to watch him finish doing the stitches on his back in that impossible-to-touch-by-one's-self area--of course, they didn't show it! Dogs would not bark at an angel. The cop driving the patrol car wasn't paying attention to the road. Demons ( the Bible calls them "lying spirits" ), not angels, willfully possess human bodies. Super-rapid head-shaking will, at the very least, make the person pass-out and, at the very most, rupture the person's brain! The blood dripping from the ceiling is not explained. Angels can easily discern a person's motives, i.e. they can read minds. Angels can move faster than a speeding bullet or freeze/reverse time itself. According to one tradition, the Archangel Gabriel is "female", jovial, and is the one seated at the left side of God. So, the wings are bullet-proof but they can be easily sliced-off with a knife--Okay .... What's up with the mace with a spinning head? If the future of humanity rests upon the shoulders of some gutter-mouthed fornicatress/trailer trash's bastard infant--born on Christmas Day, of all things-- such a future is quite dim, indeed! ( Now would be a good time to re-acquaint yourself with the movie's premise. ) If you hold an infant in your arms as the car that you're riding in is going over 100 mph then hits something that makes it flip over, first, your shoulders would possibly get dislocated and, second, that unsecured infant would turn into a nine-pound projectile that would smack everybody in the head and/or face!

fyi: God commanded the Israelites not to cut their flesh or put marks on their skin ( Leviticus 19:28 ) or shave their foreheads ( Deuteronomy 14:1 ) because these were what the pagan people all around them did to mourn their dead. The Israelites were supposed to make themselves holy unto their Lord, meaning: They were not to practice what the unbelievers practiced, which pretty much summed-up the TEN COMMANDMENTS!!! The human body is a temple of God ( 1st Corinthians 6:19-20 ); in as much as you don't vandalize and put graffiti on a holy temple ( unless you're suicidal and don't mind being beaten to death by an angry mob ) likewise, you should not vandalize ( flagellate, slash or put body piercings in ), or put graffiti ( tattoos ) on, or dump garbage ( drugs and junk food ) in the body temple dedicated as a Shekhinah of God's Glory--I'd better stop pigging-out at buffets. ( And in case you're wondering .... nope, I don't have tattoos and body piercings; and I don't smoke, drink or do drugs, either. )

The Christian Angelic Hierarchy has nine types of angels grouped together into three spheres. Here they are in descending stages:

FIRST SPHERE: Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones ( closest to God )

SECOND SPHERE: Dominions, Virtues, Powers ( spread through-out God's Kingdom )

THIRD SPHERE: Principalities, Archangels, Angels ( closest to mankind )

Understand that they all possess the same level of capabilities, i.e. an angel is as powerful as a seraph, they are just assigned specific tasks by God.

In the Book of Enoch, the Seraphim are called Drakones ( the serpents ), of which Lucifer was the leader before he fell from Heaven. Not all serpent spirits are evil. They are worshipped in parts of at least five continents as bestowers of wisdom, healing, secret knowledge, immortality and magical powers ( Doesn't this sound like the Temptation in the Garden of Eden ?). They inhabit the waters. Understand, too, that "waters" is symbolic of humanity, since our bodies are mostly composed of H2O. So, the serpent is within us all. Any Hindu or Buddhist will tell you that a "cobra-like" snake called the Kundalini resides within each and every one of us, coiled-up at the base of our spine, waiting to uncoil and rise up through our spine and exit at the top of our head. One of four things can happen when this serpent uncoils and rises up: a person becomes sex-crazed, goes mad, dies, or becomes enlightened--be smart and choose enlightenment!

word of advice: Be smart and choose enlightenment!

If you haven't done so, please read one of my posts for last month, entitled: What Christmas?

tidbits: I had planned on going to the Thursday midnight show for this movie in Fairfield, CA. But I was preoccupied with the preliminary research and study that I did for this movie and consequently lost track of time. I'm glad that I didn't go to the midnight show because this movie proved to be not worth losing my sleep over!

I decided to see this movie in Concord, CA because I remembered that there is a J.J. North's Buffet Restaurant close to the theatre. And I haven't been to this particular one in many years! An elderly white foursome was seated at the table to the left of mine. And, throughout the meal, they were talking about the possible origin of the word, "Gringo," ( to the point of even asking an Hispanic waitress about its true meaning, making her nervous ) and gossiping about acquaintances and relatives who were homosexuals and lesbians or who were suspected of being such. What an interesting serendipitous lunch that turned out to be.

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE, PG ( 2 hr & 33 min )

1st time:

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

show: 12:10 pm matinee

costs: $7.25 Ticket + $4.00 medium Diet/Zero ( with Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $5.25 small Popcorn + $1.50 Kernel Season's Ranch topping = $18.00

auditorium: 7

seat: 3rd row, 10th column

2nd time:

where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16

when: Friday, July 17th, 2009

show: 10:30 am matinee

costs: $7.50 Ticket + $4.50 small Diet/Zero Coke + $3.00 Mint Cookie Dough = $15.00

auditorium: 5

seat: 3rd row, 11th column

3rd time:

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

show: 10:15 pm

costs: $9.50 Ticket + $4.00 medium Diet/Zero ( with Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $4.25 junior Popcorn + $3.99 Safeway Roast Beef & Cheddar Sandwich = $21.74

auditorium: 14

seat: 4th row, 7th column

Raging hormones and rampaging Death Eaters clash in this dark, supernatural teen angst sequel!

Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters are aggressively on the attack in both the Magic and the Muggles' Worlds, even going so far as to threaten the safety of anyone and everyone at Hogwarts. Dark alliances are sealed. And Harry's ( Daniel Radcliffe ) aid is requested of him by Professor Dumbledore ( Michael Gambon ) who's in desperate search of the semi-immortal Voldemort's splintered "Achilles' Heel," the Horcruxes, as he prepares Harry for the impending death match with Voldemort: A missing key in the Pensieve's collection of memories must be retrieve by Harry in time! But making matters more complicated in such an inopportune time is every one's developing interest in members of the opposite gender. And when tragedy strikes at Hogwarts, Harry realizes that, perhaps, his efforts were all for naught!

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The diner; 2.) The "Unbreakable Vow" between Professor Snape ( Alan Rickman ) and Narcissa Malfoy ( Helen McCrory ) witnessed by Bellatrix LeStrange ( Helena Bonham Carter ); 3.) The magic shoppe; 4.) Draco Malfoy's ( Tom Felton ) secret meeting with the Death Eaters; 5.) Harry and Draco on the train; 6.) Dumbledore's speech in the Dining Hall; 7.) Professor Slughorn's ( Jim Broadbent ) Potions class; 8.) The Wool's Orphanage; 9.) The practice game before the competition; 10.) Learning of the old and well-used Advanced Potion Making book's owner; 11.) Drinking at the 3 Broomsticks; 12.) Katie Bell ( ? ), the possessed girl; 13.) The talk over dessert with Professor Slughorn; 14.) The Quidditch Finals game; 15.) Hermione ( Emma Watson ) confiding in Harry; 16.) The "Chosen One" talk at the library; 17.) Draco and Snape in the hallway; 18.) The very infatuated Lavender ( Jessie Brown ) on the train; 19.) The Christmas gathering; 20.) The field chase after the Death Eaters; 21.) The "missing memory" added to the Pensieve's collection; 22.) Ron Weasley's ( Rupert Grint ) box of chocolates; 23.) The infirmary; 24.) The Borgin and Burke's "vanishing" cabinet; 25.) Fight between Harry and Draco; 26.) Off to Hagrid's ( Robbie Coltrane ); 27.) Dumbledore telling Harry about the Horcruxes; 28.) The Secret Cavern; 29.) The defenseless Dumbledore; 30.) The Half-Blood Prince revealed; and 31.) The Fake.

audience reaction: The audience was genuinely entertained by this movie, although no one gave it a "Hands Clapper" at the end.

recommendation: I liked this movie even though the ending left everyone hanging--must be why it was not a "Hands Clapper" ending. Go see it anyway.

spoiler alert! While in the Muggles' World, Harry left the magical tabloid, THE PROPHET, in the diner! When the Death Eaters spiralled around London's Millennium ( Y2K ) Footbridge, causing it to sway and twist ( before it buckled and collapsed ), you could see that the sure-footed pedestrians running for safety neither stumbled nor fell--not one! Since an "Unbreakable Vow" leaves a mark on the hand and wrist of either party entering into a compact, it should have been a dead-giveaway hinting at who was behind Hogwarts' compromised security and safety. Dumbledore could take Harry flying over great distances in a jiffy but, inside the secret cavern, they had to float on a boat across a small body of water to get to an horcrux--Ha!

2nd spoiler alert! Why did Harry not get himself imprisoned or, much less, not get himself expelled for almost killing Draco? In the three times that Harry used the Pensieve to access stored memories, his face was completely immersed in the receptacle for these estimated times in proper order: two minutes and 30 seconds, one minute and 35 seconds, and three minutes and 15 seconds; all accomplished without him first taking a deep breath of air or gasping for air afterwards--Wow! he's got quite a set of lungs. When they left the Inferi-infested lake in the secret cavern, Harry was no longer soaking wet. By the way, the under-the-water scene in the lake only lasted for 33 seconds.

fyi: The animated photos, pictures and portraits gave me the creeps! I remember having both my junior high and senior high class pictures on my bedroom wall at my family's old Oakland, CA house. For years, being the prude that I was, I would NOT undress in front of those pictures--I would hide around the corner to do so ( what with all those leery eyes feasting on my "at-the-peak-of-ripeness" body)! Finally, I mustered-up enough nerve to undress before them, saying to myself, Is this what you want, what you were hoping for. Well, take it all in, you slut-bitches! I know you like it, I know you want it. Yes, you do! So, come and get it! Eventually, I became so ashamed of myself that I took those class pictures down, rolled them both up, and stashed them in a dresser drawer--once a prude, always a prude. Yep ....

word of advice: The skeletal, zombie-like creatures in the Inferi-infested lake in the secret cavern may be a bit scary and night-mare inducing to some, especially the young children, in the audience.

tidbits: At 7:24 am today, I drove by Kinko's on my way home from work to pick up my movie-reviewer business cards. And I already gave two away to former co-workers: One to Danny, at the grocery store across the lot from Kinko's; and, later on that day, to April, at the cineplex just before the show.

This is the first time that I've bought a Kernel Season's Ranch-flavored popcorn topping.

I wanted to go to one of the midnight shows--or even the 3:00 am show, but I had to work.

Mid-way through the movie, I had to switch pens because the one I was using at the time to scribble notes with became inconsistent in its ink-flow. I was glad that I had a "Saturday Night Special" back-up pen handy! I can see well-enough in the dark, mind you; I ain't no "Mr. Four Eyes" for nuthin'.

The title of this movie should be: HARRY POTTER, THE HORMONES YEAR.

There are two ( 2 ) "Chosen Ones" in the movie, actually: The "Chosen One" to wear the only pair of CONVERSE sneakers on the set; and the "Chosen One" to sport an obviously embarrassing, funny-looking tattoo that its owner has to wear long-sleeved shirts and sweaters all the time just to hide it from view! When is Hollywood gonna take notice of my talents and employ my services as a script consultant and/or scene editor? I come cheap--Asian Sweat Shop Labor--for now ( the Union will be pissed-off at me over this ).

2nd tidbits: I went to see this movie again so I could time the submersion scenes.

3rd tidbits: Soon after I got my ticket, the night sky lit up with a fireworks display from across the freeway at the Solano County Fair, across the street from Marine World, the ticket girl at the box office informed me when I asked about it.

They have new napkin dispensers with a "bow-tie" shaped opening. It you stick your fingers in the narrow part in the middle to get at some napkins, your fingers will get stuck! You've just been warned.

This third time is a "trial run." I wanted to see what it would be like to sneak-in a sandwich. The plastic clamshell in which it was packaged was too bulky and made noise whenever something would come into contact with it. I will have to repackage sandwiches in plastic bags on future smuggling trips.

As I recall, back when I was a little kid, my family was in possession of one of those so-called "vanishing cabinets" although it was known to us by another name: The Out-House!