PERCY JACKSON & THE OLYMPIANS: THE LIGHTNING THIEF, PG ( 2 hr & 0 min )

where: UA EMERYVILLE STADIUM 10 in Emeryville, CA
when: Friday, February 12th, 2010
show: 10:20 p.m.
costs: $0.00 Ticket ( Regal $10.00 Movie Certificate ) + $6.00 small Popcorn w/ Butter ( and sprinkled w/ Kernel Seasonings Jalapeno flavor w/c I brought in w/ me ) + $4.50 small Diet Coke = $10.50
auditorium: 3
seat: 6th row, 12th column

synopsis: Zeus' ( Sean Bean ) lightning bolt is stolen. And it is up to Percy Jackson ( Logan Lerman ) to find it in time to avoid a battle between the gods that will, in all probability, destroy all of creation.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Poseidon ( Kevin McKidd ); 2.) Zeus; 3.) Pool; 4.) New Greek and Roman Galleries; 5.) Fury; 6.) Minotaur; 7.) Camp Half-Blood; 8.) Satyr; 9.) Chiron, the Centaur ( Pierce Brosnan ); 10.) Welcome home; 11.) Training; 12.) Duel; 13.) Strong feelings; 14.) Hades ( Steve Coogan ); 15.) Quest; 16.) "Daddy issues"; 17.) Medusa; 18.) Motel; 19.) Parthenon in Nashville, TN; 20.) Lernaean hydra; 21.) Storm; 22.) Lotus Hotel and Casino; 23.) Lotus flower cookies; 24.) Maserati; 25.) Gateway to Underworld; 26.) Scrap heaps of human misery; 27.) Hell hounds; 28.) Persephone; 29.) "Mick Jagger thing"; 30.) Shield; 31.) Empire State Building; 32.) Chase; 33.) Trident; 34.) Olympus; 35.) Pantheon; 36.) Where you belong; 37.) Horny dude; 38.) Grace under pressure; 39.) First rule of battle; and 40.) Bonus scene during the ending credits.

audience reaction: There was one scene which made the audience laugh--wait! it was I who laughed ( Sorry .... ).

recommendation: This is just a so-so "fantasy role-play" type of movie. It lacks polish but it will be appealing to teens, its targeted audience.

spoiler alert! First of all, if they're gods, how come they can't figure it out amongst themselves who actually stole the lightning bolt? In actuality, a lightning bolt is extremely hot ( white-hot ) and super electrified so that even a demi-god--who is not even impervious to bladed weaponry strikes, as shown in this movie--who's stupid enough to hold it will have his hand burned-off at the very least and get himself electrocuted at the very most! If we mere mortals have use of security cameras, why don't the gods have something of a similar function? The sparring matches were not well-choreographed, for the most part. Why did Grover ( Brandon T. Jackson ) carry-on with his charade in places where no one knew who he was? When Medusa ( Uma Thurman ) confronted them, why did they just close their eyes and stayed-put? They could just have looked down at the ground as they made a hasty retreat! How did Luke ( Jake Abel ), a mere half-mortal, know Percy's exact shoe size when even the gods, themselves, seem to lack the power of omniscience? How come the sudden addition of a gigantic statue in the parthenon never made it on the news the following day ( only a storm brewing was shown on TV news)? How come there was no Lo-Jack or any other type of anti-theft device on the Maserati? When I bought my base model 1994 Geo Metro brand new, it came with two anti-theft devices already pre-installed by the dealership! Luke should have had plenty of time to make his "kill shot". Why didn't Olympus have any posted guards on duty? Did Gabe Ugliano ( ? ) really deserve to get what he got? Since they had a pair of dark sunglasses handy, why did they have it so that Medusa's eyes would still open and close? Why didn't Medusa's head change to a more believable post mortem color?

fyi: Annabeth ( Alexandria Daddario ) has a very interesting facial feature: Double Philtrum. I've never seen such a feature on anyone else's face before. It looks to be a more than one-in-a- million rare oddity. I'd marry her for just that one reason--of course, it helps that she's very beautiful, too!

Did you notice how Grover held the dollar bills in his hand? Actors hold it in that particular way in all the movies where a close-up of "play money" is needed. Dollar bills, as props, are made bigger in size than the real thing and will have this printed on them: "Not for legal tender." This was covered-up by Grover's index finger in the scene with the ferry man.

Shortly after we arrived here from the Philippines, our cousin took us to Reno, Nevada, during the Spring Break. We walked through the casinos. I'd never seen so many beautiful cocktail waitresses in high heels and in tiny mini skirts before in my whole young, impressionable-age life! I had a fun time ogling all of them, up and down, and almost got a whiplash in the process. But all good things must come to an end. A mustachioed plainclothes security personnel accosted us and informed us that no minors are allowed in the gambling areas ( but being that he was white, I think he meant to say, "Minorities." Ha, ha, ha. ).

I didn't get to see the midnight show on Thursday because I fell asleep on my couch as I waited for the showtime.

word of advice: "Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely."

"The pen is mightier than the sword."

tidbits: Today, first thing in the morning at 8:30, I went to my periodontist for a full-mouth x-ray. The hygienist took 16 x-rays, all in all. My head is probably radioactive now. If somebody kisses me on Sunday, Valentine's Day, the kiss probably won't register on a "love meter" but on a Geiger Counter, instead! Ha, ha, ha. Why am I laughing ....

Later on, I went to Oakland, CA to hang-out with my friends and to show them the picture CDs of my eldest sister and her family's trip to the Northern Philippines for their vacation during the Holidays. There were two notable pictures in the bunch: a full-grown cat suckling on a bitch's ( female dog, you guys ) teat; and a house built juxtaposed to the road with no road shoulder or curbside to act as a safety barrier ( can you just imagine a drunk driver careening through such an area? )!

At the theatre box office, the ticket clerk at first didn't take my Regal $10.00 Movie Certificate as payment because the computer didn't recognize it at all. It was my last certificate which I had kept in my wallet all this time but always kept forgetting to use. I got it as a reward for earning enough points on my Chase/Regal MasterCard. But Chase stopped the co-sponsored movie incentive about two years ago. And even though such a certificate has no printed expiration date on it, I guess Regal Cinemas ( of which UA is part of the chain ) decided to delete the information on any and all outstanding certificates. The ticket clerk advised me to talk to the manager and I said that I will, but later, since I didn't have the time right then. So he changed his mind and issued me a free pass, instead. I told him that I'll leave him my certificate so that he won't get in trouble over this particular transaction. Later, as I bought my concession items, I realized that the price of an evening ticket was $10.75. So I asked the concessions clerk to give me four quarters for a dollar. I, then, went back to the booth to give the ticket clerk my 75 cents. At which point the manager came over. I explained to the manager what had happened and told him that I didn't want the ticket clerk to get in trouble with management over a measly $0.75 when his till won't balance-out at the end of his shift. But the manager told me that everything will be fine and thanked me for being so nice. Of course, I, Cine-Man, am always nice to people who are nice to me; conversely, I can be someone's worst enemy since bad things always happen to people who are not nice to me--trust me on this since it has always been this way for as far back as I can remember.

NINE, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 50 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Tuesday, January 5th, 2010
show: 4:10 p.m.
costs: $7.25 Ticket + $3.75 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $1.00 dark chocolate Cookie Dough ( bought at Dollar Tree & smuggled-in ) = $12.00
auditorium: 3
seat: 3rd row, 7th column

synopsis: A famous Italian director of movie musicals, Guido Contini ( Daniel Day-Lewis ), in the '60s is staging a big comeback, only to have demands placed upon him by his producer, the press, and the various women in his life. As his adoring public waits with 'bated breath, will his muse consent to inspire him?

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The women of his life; 2.) News conference; 3.) Bellavista Hotel; 4.) Open wide; 5.) Lovers' game; 6.) Production set; 7.) Folle brassiere; 8.) Imagination, God's garden; 9.) Flashback; 10.) Luisa Contini's ( Marion Cotillard ) song; 11.) Absurdity of being you; 12.) Cinema Italiano; 13.) Not bound by morality; 14.) Guido and Carla's husband; 15.) Costume shoot; 16.) The fountain; 17.) Screen test; 18.) Burlesque dance; 19.) No movie; 20.) Walk in the park; 21.) Nine; and 22.) Ending credits.

audience reaction: A couple of girls in the audience ( there were only about a half dozen of us in the auditorium ) laughed at some of the quips.

recommendation: This movie is strictly for those who are into musicals. It's also for those horndogs out there who are into watching scantily-clad beauties dance in a sexually provocative manner.

spoiler alert! This really is not a musical in its strictest sense. It is, rather, a behind-the-scenes look at the making of a musical, i.e. the conflict of interests, the clash of egos, the high expectations, the time constraints, the sundry pressures--and pleasures, etc. The ending was rather vague in the sense that the women returned into his life as if to let the audience know that it will be "the same old story" all over again, that he'll never make a big comeback. Guido didn't go around pinching girls' butts even though Italian men are famous for it!

fyi: I believe that the movie title, NINE, refers to the nine daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne, the muses named: Calliope, Clio, Erato, Euterpe, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia and Urania.

I cringed at the scenes where Guido was driving around in a convertible which had no head rests and no roll bars because I'm deathly scared of riding in such things.

Carla's ( Penelope Cruz ) solo act is the stand-out best Song and Dance scene in this movie--horndog approved!

I wanted to make this the last movie that I saw in 2009. But I didn't go to the 10:00 p.m. show on December 31st because I was sick with a cold and fever.

word of advice: Don't lie/cheat your way into someone's heart.

Get everything down on paper, first.

tidbits: Before going to see this movie, I went to CSAA to pay on my membership. As I waited in line, a woman came in and stood directly behind another woman that was being served at the counter by the second of two clerks. I was next in line so I waited to see if she would cut in front of me because I was getting ready to rain down curses, swear words, and insults at her should she be foolish enough to think that I would just let her cut in front of me. After all, if they believe in equal rights then they had better put in their equal share of waiting in line. Luckily for her, another clerk--who probably noticed what was happening--took me to her counter. But, all that time that I was being served, I would on occasion cast glares at the woman from clear across the room in a way that you could have cut the air with a ( misogynistic ) knife.

After the movie, I went to 99 Cent Only Store to buy-up all of their stock ( 33 pieces at 3 for 99 cents ) on a health bar by MLO Products: chocolate mint flavored Xtreme Bar. Now I'm set for the next two or three months for my lunch break at work--sweet!