THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO, R ( 2 hrs & 32 mins )

where: GUILD THEATRE in Menlo Park, CA
when: Sunday, June 6th, 2010
show: 4:30 p.m.
costs: $9.75 Ticket + $4.25 small Diet Coke + $4.00 Carquinez Bridge Toll = $18.00
auditorium: 1 ( and only one, since this is an old, one-screen theatre )
seat: 4th row, center section, 5th column

synopsis: A wealthy old man, Henrik Vanger ( Sven-Bertil Taube ) , haunted by the possible murder of his favorite niece, Harriet Vanger ( Ewa Froling ), by one of his own relatives forty years ago, hires the services of a disgraced journalist, Mikael Blomkvist ( Michael Nyqvist ), and a disturbed and tattooed computer hacker, Lisbeth Salander ( Roomi Rapace ). But as both of them dig deeper and deeper into the case, they uncover dark family secrets that could very well cost them their own lives.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The yearly package; 2.) Libel suit; 3.) Photographer; 4.) Lisbeth Salander; 5.) Swedish meatballs; 6.) Father's former employer; 7.) Old news reel; 8.) Newly-appointed guardian; 9.) The attic; 10.) Letter of resignation; 11.) Computer hacking; 12.) Ganged-up on; 13.) Computer hard drive; 14.) Research for clues; 15.) Former Nazis; 16.) Nobody and everybody; 17.) Cecilia Vanger ( Marika Lagercrantz ); 18.) There is no answer; 19.) Spying on computer hacker; 20.) Abusing trust; 21.) Soap and water; 22.) Photo archives; 23.) Frame by frame; 24.) The killer; 25.) Lured away; 26.) Handcuffed and raped; 27.) Camera girl; 28.) Norsjo Carpentry shop; 29.) Honeymoon snap shots; 30.) Taste of his own "medicine"; 31.) New computer; 32.) Send e-mail; 33.) Bible reference from the book of Leviticus 20:16; 34.) Hospital visit; 35.) New partner; 36.) Kia Sportage rental car; 37.) Pinioned and tortured; 38.) Magda's case; 39.) Dream; 40.) Tuna Motel [ how funny is this "sexual-reference " name for a motel! ]; 41.) Jimmied lock; 42.) Photographic memory; 43.) Quickie sex; 44.) Updating Henrik; 45.) Gustav Morell ( Bjorn Granath ); 46.) Vanger Group; 47.) Necklace; 48.) Anita; 49.) Plague; 50.) Sniper; 51.) Security cameras; 52.) "It's on the internet"; 53.) Last one; 54.) Jewish names; 55.) Vanger Group accounts and records; 56.) Breaking and entering; 57.) Blue sweater; 58.) Pattern; 59.) Killer; 60.) Like father, like son; 61.) The chase; 62.) Crash; 63.) Flashback; 64.) Photographic evidence; 65.) "'Not finished yet" ; 66.) Australia; 67.) The visit; 68.) The surprise; 69.) Secret confession; 70.) Paper trail; 71.) Cayman Islands bank account ; and 72.) Mystery woman.

Okay, this officially makes it "The Most Entries" for Noteworthy Scenes! Whew! Foreign subtitled films, I swear ....

audience reaction: The audience liked this sub-titled Detective/Murder-Mystery/Thriller movie.

recommendation: I liked it, too. And I would highly recommend it to fans of such genres.

spoiler alert! Why didn't the pervert yell for help when he had the chance? The sniper had the advantage of knowing the lay of the land and could have easily taken down his prey. Why did they let the bad guy make a run for it? The girl who got away could/should have reported the whole thing to the authorities years ago. If someone was trying to kill me and I got the better on him, I'd finish him off or, at least, incapacitate him one way or another. If I'm in a car and somebody was chasing me down on a motorcycle, I'd simply put a smile on my face and ... Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha. Take that, you punk!

fyi: It ain't no Swedish film if it ain't got no Swedish Meatballs! Just like with Italian movies in which they show Pizza and/or Pasta dishes, a real Swedish movie, I guess, must have Swedish Meatballs--and this one has it! And Mikael even gave a tip on how to form a meatball. But why couldn't he just use a bowl of water instead of running the tap water? Better yet, he should just have coated his hands with oil first. But I digress, yet again, so I'll just shut-up on this subject now.

I guess the Swedes prefer to use Apple Computers, or maybe it's just an advertising gimmick. Hmm ....

The Guild Theatre is an historic landmark. It was originally built in 1926 as a burlesque house. In the 1940s, it was converted to show movies with a soundtrack. It has a very tiny lobby with the concession counter and ticket "booth" on one side and the men's and women's rooms on the opposite side. I don't think much was changed about this place, structure-wise, since it first opened 84 years ago--except for the screen, sound system and theatre seats, of course. It's as if you go back in time when you step into this itsy-bitsy place.

When you drive down the El Camino Real strip from Menlo Park, to Palo Alto and part-way down Mountain View, you'll notice that a bunch of "Psychics" have set-up shop on either side of the street. I guess I know now why Stanford University is such a prestigious university: The students get good grades on their exams with the help of psychics. Now I know where to go for higher education!

word of advice: Don't keep skeletons in your closet.

tidbits: After watching GET HIM TO THE GREEK and checking-in at Menlo Park's Mermaid Inn ( $68.20 for the over-night stay ), I realized that I had enough time to walk one and a half blocks to the Guild Theatre to check out the place and its featured movie after I looked-up my copy of the San Francisco Chronicle's movie guide list.

After I got out of the theatre, I was gonna walk two blocks further up to the MacDonald's Restaurant. But I changed my mind after much deliberation. I headed back toward Mermaid Inn and made a quick trip to the Menlo Park Safeway, adjacent to the inn, to buy something to eat for dinner.

At Safeway, I bought a 12 ounce size of raw and unfiltered Madhava Mountain Gold Clover Honey ( $2.99 ), a 33.8 ounce Refreshe bottled water ( $0.89 + $0.10 CRV tax ), an 8.75 ounce Signature Cafe Quinoa Berry & Spinach Layered Salad ( $3.59 ) and a deli "all natural" Chicken Thigh ( $2.29 ), for a grand total of $10.07. What I found odd was the woman who got me the chicken at the deli counter: She didn't say anything--or smiled, for that matter--after she handed me the piece and just gave me a "look". I guess she's used to serving rich Menlo Park/Palo Alto people who buy more than one piece of chicken from her! Damn, why couldn't I have been a Safeway Secret Shopper!

When I walked into my room, #26, I turned on the air conditioner since it was hot in there. And I decided to do my Kriya Yoga before having dinner. After my yoga, I changed my mind and got in my car to go to MacDonald's to grab a bite to eat, instead.

At MacDonald's, I decided on the Grilled Chicken Southwest Salad ( $4.39 ) and a cup of Sweet Tea ( $1.00 ), for a total of $5.89 with "eat-in" tax included. I wonder if I could have save myself the extra $0.50 had I ordered my meal "to-go". But maybe they'd just impose a "to-go" tax on it, too! What a con-job the government is running. Anyway, I asked for a couple of mini-tubbed coffee creamer to put in my sweet tea because it was just too darn sweet for me.

The other reason why I went to MacDonald's was because I wanted to buy a "Fiona" drinking glass to complete my SHREK Collection. But they didn't have any because it was recalled since the paints used had Cadmium in them, I later found out from reading the Friday, June 5th, edition of the San Francisco Chronicle that I brought with me on this overnight stay at Menlo Park. Hell, I'm keeping my three glasses with me since they're bound to be real collector's items down the road--for sure!

As for the stuff that I bought at Safeway, I had them the following day for breakfast and for lunch with the two really-ripe bananas that I brought with me on this trip. Today, June 9th, I still have not finished-up on the honey. I get my "sugar fix" on it every now and then--never mind what I said earlier about the sweet tea!

P.S. I put in $16.00 worth of regular gas in my Hyundai Accent for my overnight stay in Menlo Park. But $13.00 worth of gas would have been enough.

GET HIM TO THE GREEK, R ( 1 hr & 49 mins )

where: CENTURY 20 DOWNTOWN REDWOOD CITY in Redwood City, CA

when: Sunday, June 6th, 2010

show: 1:35 p.m.

costs: $8.25 Ticket + $4.25 junior Popcorn ( w/ Butter ) + $4.00 small Diet Coke + $2.90 small Chai Tea Latte @ Redwood City Safeway Starbucks + $4.00 Dumbarton Bridge Toll = $23.40

auditorium: 10

seat: 7th row, 5th seat

synopsis: A record company intern, Aaron Green ( Jonah Hill ), has a simple task: Get Aldous Snow ( Russell Brand ) to the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles, CA, in time for his 10th anniversary concert. But the drug-addled idol has other plans in this raunchy road trip movie.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) "African Child" music video; 2.) TV interview; 3.) Tabloid/news; 4.) Aaron's bedroom; 5.) Meeting; 6.) Your f---ing mommy; 7.) Break-up; 8.) Hanging-out; 9.) Night club; 10.) The loo; 11.) Hotel; 12.) Remembering Sarah Marshall; 13.) Movie set; 14.) The Today Show; 15.) Forgotten lyrics; 16.) Got The Clap; 17.) 'Phone call; 18.) Absinthe; 19.) High; 20.) 'Phone call to Jackie ( Rose Byrne ); 21.) "Pretzel"; 22.) Power position; 23.) Airport passenger line; 24.) Clench and sneeze; 25.) Special favor; 26.) Tickle attack; 27.) My friend, H-e-r-o-i-n; 28.) Fast and Furious; 29.) Emergency; 30.) TV show; 31.) Rat Pack lounge act; 32.) Strip club; 33.) Destiny ( Carla Gallo ); 34.) "Jeffrey"; 35.) Jackie is your "Daphne" ( Elisabeth Moss ); 36.) Aldous' talk with his son; 37.) Threesome; 38.) Desperate 'phone message; 39.) Swimming pool; 40.) Infant Sorrow concert; 41.) The day after; 42.) VH-1 Storytellers; 43.) Caressing the furry wall; and 44.) Bonus "talking head" scene after the Ending Credits.

audience reaction: The audience truly enjoyed this movie.

recommendation: I enjoyed it, too. And I would recommend it to the 18-and-over crowd who like comedy films, whether or not they are into the "sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll party animal" lifestyle.

spoiler alert! Since Daphne is a doctor, why doesn't she do something about her boyfriend's morbid obesity? How come not one of the other passengers noticed Aaron slip something up his big butt when his action was clearly in plain sight? That broken bone was exposed a long-enough time for infection to possibly set-in. When he fell into the pool, it looked more like he hit his shoulder or the back of his neck/head against the pool's edge, to me. So, am I to believe, too, that he was so "high" on some kind of drug that he couldn't feel the pain in his broken arm but still have command of his mental faculties to carry on with the show? Damn! the pharmaceutical companies and the armed forces should get a hold of this drug.

fyi: I wanted to catch the 11:00 a.m. show but I was double-, and triple-, and quadruple-checking my things for my overnight stay in Menlo Park--personal matter--and lost track of time. I would have made it to the 12:10 p.m. show but, instead of turning left at the light on to Middlefield Road, I kept on going straight on Jefferson Avenue. Realizing that I was in the wrong direction, I made a left on Bradford Street and made another left on Middlefield Road, which turns into a one-way street after the Broadway intersection. So, I made a left on Broadway, crossed Jefferson Avenue and Main Street, then parked at the curb in-between Walnut Street and Maple Street because I didn't want to take a chance and use the parking garage where I might have to pay for parking if they don't have a "movie ticket validation" policy in place.

Being that I had time to kill, I decided to check out the Redwood City Safeway store just two blocks away and past the Caltrain railway tracks. It's a nice and big store--and they even have a wine cellar--but I like the Menlo Park Safeway a lot better. I think that the American Canyon Safeway is better than the Redwood City Safeway, but the Menlo Park Safeway tops them both! Now, I'll just have to check-out the San Ramon Safeway and the Brentwood Safeway to see which ranks best in my opinion.

This shopping center also has an underground parking for fancy cars ( at least, the ones that I could plainly see through the basement door ) just across from the railway fence and gate.

correction: As I rode the escalator to the upstairs theatre lobby, I noticed that its clear panels are actually made of glass, but in my spoiler alert for FINAL DESTINATION: DEATH TRIP, 3-D, on August 28ht of last year, I said that there's no such thing. I stand corrected. How do you tell the difference between a glass panel and a plastic panel? Easy ... look at the edges; the glass panel will have dark-green edges and the plastic panel will have clear edges.

Back in 1988, I met the Berkeley, CA, documentary filmmaker, Les Blank, who had just recently finished production on his film, GAP-TOOTHED WOMEN, which was being shown on PBS. He caught my attention with his T-shirt which advertised his documentary film as: "The Man Who Loves Gap-Toothed Women." His production company is based in El Cerrito, CA.

word of advice: Love and friendship make the world go 'round.

tidbits: I originally sat in the 6th seat. But a family of four ( wheelchaired grandfather, father and two sons ) sat immediately to my right. And I don't like strangers invading my "personal space" when I'm busy scribbling down movie notes in the dark and clicking my tally counter when I'm doing my mantra in-between my note-taking, eating popcorn and/or drinking my soda--I'm a multi-tasking movie critic, what can I say.

On my way to check-in at the Mermaid Inn in Menlo Park, I passed by a Ferrari/Maserati automobile dealership--I need to win the lottery big-time!

KILLERS, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 40 mins )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Saturday, June 5th, 2010

show: 2:15 p.m.

costs: $9.25 Ticket + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $13.74 lunch before the show @ Empire Buffet here in Vallejo ( + $2.26 Tip ) = $29.25

auditorium: 7

seat: 5th row, 7th column

synopsis: On his last assignment, Spencer ( Ashton Kutcher ), a CIA operative, meets a vacationing American, Jen ( Katherine Heigl ), in France. They fall in love and marry. But their suburban lifestyle is imperiled when Spencer's last assignment comes back to haunt him in an unexpectedly-big way!

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Plane; 2.) Target confirmed; 3.) Elevator; 4.) Snorkeling; 5.) Yacht; 6.) Under the table; 7.) Dance club; 8.) Missed confession; 9.) Picnic; 10.) Book; 11.) Cemetery; 12.) 4-H; 13.) Charm and wit; 14.) Block party couple; 15.) Bambi's nightmare; 16.) Package; 17.) Three-year snooze; 18.) French thing; 19.) Surprise party; 20.) Overnight "guest"; 21.) Hang-over remedy; 22.) 20-million dollar bounty; 23.) Good morning; 24.) Blah, blah, blah; 25.) It's 15; 26.) Motel; 27.) Knocked-up; 28.) Big K-Mart; 29.) Zulu One Four Niner; 30.) Whoomp, there it is; 31.) Pregnancy test kit; 32.) Office secretary; 33.) "Is anyone not not trying to kill me"; 34.) Couples counseling; 35.) Blinking fuel light; 36.) "Those Volvos are amazing"; 37.) Block party; 38.) House under attack; 39.) Trust circle; 40.) "English is not my first language"; 41.) Next-door neighbor; and 42.) Baby's room.

audience reaction: The audience enjoyed this Rom/Com Action movie.

recommendation: I liked this movie, too. This movie is suited for young adults and high school age kids.

spoiler alert! In the picnic scene, there was too much food when the couple looked more interested in doing something else. In the house fight, either one of the two could have easily used a pair of balusters as defense/assault weapons. When Jen drove off in the Escalade, she forgot that it was supposed to be a stolen car and, hence, it had to be hot-wired to get it started. But she acted like it had a key in the ignition. How did that couple ever get to be professional hit-men? I'm thinking it was just played for laughs but--come on! Let's get real--or realistic, okay? How could one of them afford to hire so many hit-men and, on top of all that, still be able to put-up a 20 million dollar reward on the target? You don't punch-out your neighbor like that and for such a reason. With all that shooting and property damage in an upscale neighborhood, you'd expect the cops to get there a.s.a.p! But, where were they? ( Bad cops, no doughnuts for you! )

fyi: Last night, when I got home, as I was taking stuff out of my car in my carport, I heard five gun shots! I ducked for cover, then hurried inside. And the night before last, when I was at my computer, I also heard five gun shots. And, nope, the cops didn't show-up in either case--and this is not even an upscale neighborhood like the one in this movie. And all the doughnut shops were closed for the evening. So, what was their excuse for not showing-up?

FIRST RESPONSE. What kind of a name is that for a pregnancy test kit? 'Sounds like a Special Ops strike force to me.

If I were a trailer-trash slut bimbo wannabe-whore and I found out that I just got myself pregnant, my "first response" would likely be, Oh, sh*t! my dad's gonna kill me! Ha, ha, ha---( snort! ).

word of advice: Don't rush into marriage.

Looks can be deceiving.

tidbits: Before the show, I went to Chase Bank on Tennessee Street to make a deposit. Then, I went to the main Post Office to put a "vacation hold" on my mail. And I went to Empire Buffet for lunch because I haven't seen the owner's daughter in so long. Yup! she's still lookin' hot as ever. I gotta get her name one of these days.

After the movie, as I got on the freeway on my way to Springs Road, I noticed a ladybug crawling on the outside of my Geo Metro's windshield. My gradual increase in speed didn't blow it away. Even at 65 mph, it was still crawling on my windshield. As I slowed down to get onto the Springs Road exit, it flew off; I guess it had reached its destination. What a lazy-bug!

I bought a $4.00 gallon of water at the water store adjacent to the UPS STORE on Springs Road, just to try it out. Whoever thought that someday a gallon of water would end up costing more than a gallon of premium gas and banked on it must be rolling around in some serious dough now. Then, I bought a set of combs, a twin-pack of soap and a disinfectant spray at the 99 CENT ONLY STORE. Finally, it was off to the city of Benicia via Columbus Parkway on-ramp.

At my place of work, I put in a request for three extra days on my vacation because I'm forced to start my trip rather late. Oh, well ... better late than never, they always say.

While in Benicia, I also bought a "top-up" card for my Virgin Mobile cellphone.

SPLICE, R ( 1 hr & 44 mins )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Friday, June 4th, 2010
show: 10:35 p.m.
costs: $10.00 Ticket + $5.25 small Popcorn ( w/ Butter ) + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke = $19.25
auditorium: 12
seat: 4th row, 7th column

synopsis: A genetic engineer couple, Clive and Elsa ( Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley ) crosses the boundaries of scientific ethics to create a new life form which is part human and part animal, in hopes of finding a cure for diseases that have plagued humanity for millenia. But Dren ( Delphine Chaneac ), the hybrid creature, develops at an accelerated rate and exhibits unanticipated "traits" that put the couple's work and lives at risk.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Love at first sight; 2.) Phase two; 3.) Human/animal splice; 4.) Moral considerations; 5.) Cesarean; 6.) A mistake; 7.) It's empty; 8.) Aging fast; 9.) Air vent; 10.) High sucrose food stuffs; 11.) Picture; 12.) Develops live fetus outside the womb; 13.) Nerd/dren palindrome; 14.) Compiling developmental profile; 15.) We have to deal with this; 16.) Scientists risk boundaries; 17.) Talk with his brother; 18.) Cold bath; 19.) Doll; 20.) Curious Dren; 21.) The "Fred & Ginger" show; 22.) Setback; 23.) Old barn; 24.) Search; 25.) Your room; 26.) Cat; 27.) Tedious/outside anagram; 28.) Wings; 29.) Not so special case anymore; 30.) Make-up; 31.) Drawing; 32.) AMC Gremlin; 33.) Music; 34.) Your DNA; 35.) You're a part of me; 36.) Surgery; 37.) Solve this thing; 38.) Security cameras, 39.) Synthesized; 40.) Sex; 41.) Opps; 42.) We broke the rules; 43.) Sick Dren; 44.) More drawings; 45.) It's the only way; 46.) Snatched; 47.) Inside you; and 48.) What's the worse that could happen?

audience reaction: The audience seemed to enjoy this movie which, at times, has funny scenes.

recommendation: Even with its scientific jargon and fancy SFX, this movie comes across as something reminiscent of 50s-era Sci-Fi schlock. Watch it for the comedy, not for the ( faulty) science.

spoiler alert! Why do Fred and Ginger have a human-sounding heartbeat when they don't even have one iota of human DNA? A fetus cannot develop or live, for that matter, outside of its maternal host. Why does the newborn have an high sense of threat assessment and response? Fred and Ginger do not really have enough body heft to topple the display case in the first place. Although Dren was supposedly aging fast, her age-rate sure slowed down quite considerably in her "sexy" stage--talk about lasciviously pandering to the prurient interest of horndog movie-goers. Attention, horndogs: If this movie's nudity and sex scenes turn you on, you're just a litter-full of sick puppies! If Dren knows how to play crossword puzzles, surely she should know how to read and write--but this movie shows no indication of such a literacy skill. How does Dren go from eating "high fructose food stuffs" to hunting down and devouring a rabbit? If Dren has to go "potty", where does she go? I don't see any gills, do you? There ain't no way in the world that a cat would not freak out at being handled by a strange stranger! The wings are not suited for flight--the creature would free-fall faster than Icarus under a hot mid-day sun. Why does a hot-shot "splice-masters extraordinaire" couple go riding around in an old AMC Gremlin lemon? A Yugo would probably be a slightly better ride. The structure of Dren's feet is not sturdy enough for runs and high jumps, and she is missing cleat-like nails on her toes which are necessary for powerful, high-speed locomotion. Supposedly--based on certain scenes ( ahem! )--Dren suffers from Alopecia Universalis but she has eyebrows and eyelashes, go figure .... When Dren was in bed dying, her blanketed legs were oriented the wrong way: They looked human, not kangaroo-like. Because of her traumatic experience, why didn't Elsa just abort the fetus?

fyi: Based on what my Anatomy and Physiology professor once said to the class, technically/scientifically/medically speaking, a fetus is just a parasite--Yes! even a human fetus. ( Oh, boy ... I can just hear the "Pro-Life" crowd raising Hell over this remark. Don't kill the messenger, please! )

A human/sundry-animals hybrid cannot impregnate a human female for the simple reason of Chromosomal Count Incompatibility.

Scientifically speaking, the male of the human species is chromosomally inferior to the female of said species. Meaning, with her human DNA, Dren should have logically started out in life as a male and later on evolved into a female, and not the other way around; in much the same way that she later on sprouted arms, her Y chromosome would have sprouted an extra limb later on! So, again, this movie would have made more sense had Dren started out in life as a male.

Did you know that the Bible warns us not to mix-breed animals--or anything else for that matter? It's true, look it up in the Old Testament of the Bible's third book: Leviticus; chapter 19, verse 19. Mix-breeding produces an inferior breed in God's eyes. But on a more sinister note, this warning applies to genetically-bred/spliced organisms because it eventually leads to tampering with the very nature of Man. Understand this, a human brought into this world through conception, whether or not In Vivo or In Vitro, is a procreated being because a sperm and an egg were involved in the untampered DNA transfer process. But a human brought into this world through genetic engineering and splicing does not have a naturally-sequenced DNA and technically is not a human but a beast, instead, i.e. The Beast, a.k.a. 666 or b.k.a., The Anti-Christ, since there are only two kinds of creatures on earth: Humans and beasts! And by beast, I ain't talkin' 'bout Tarzan, the Ape Man!

word of advice: Don't fool with Mother Nature.

tidbits: After the movie, I went to get some gas at the Chevron gas station on the corner of Sonoma Boulevard and Mini Drive. I went up to the attendant's booth, intending to buy just $3.25 of regular gas at pump # 1. The guy in front of me, whose car was on the opposite side of my pump, went up to the attendant to buy the same amount of regular gas! When it was my turn, I told the attendant that the other driver probably read my mind. He just laughed.

KITES, NR ( 2 hr & 10 min )

where: CENTURY 25 UNION LANDING & XD in Union City, CA
when: Saturday, May 29th, 2010
show: 7:45 p.m.
costs: $11.00 + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $12.42 dinner @ Fresh Choice Restaurant before the show ( + $1.00 tip ) + $4.00 Bridge Toll = $32.42
auditorium: 22
seat: 5th row, 6th column

synopsis: In this tragic love story, a Las Vegas entrepreneur marries female illegal aliens for a fee so the women can apply for citizenship. But he is smitten by one of his eleven "brides" who is about to get married to the son of a crime lord. As they try to annul their marriage, events go from bad to worse. Soon, they are running for their lives and falling madly in love with each other in-between car chases and shoot-outs.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Train car; 2.) Honeymoon scam; 3.) Limousine; 4.) Break-dance competition; 5.) Skin diving; 6.) Introduction; 7.) Love and music; 8.) Forty-two dollars; 9.) Fashion shoot; 10.) Sailing; 11.) Shadow puppets; 12.) Cellphone; 13.) Cheaters; 14.) Translation; 15.) "Goodbye, Poverty"; 16.) Rain; 17.) Family portrait; 18.) Friends; 19.) Train; 20.) Get-away; 21.) Hot-air balloon; 22.) Kiss; 23.) Mrs. Linda Ray; 24.) True identity; 25.) Bank; 26.) Van; 27.) Same jail term; 28.) Foreign words; 29.) Shoot-out; 30.) Car chase; 31.) Convertible; 32.) Ransom money; 33.) Wedding; 34.) Unwelcome guests; 35.) Bullet wound; 36.) Cornered; 37.) Stand-off; and 38.) Sea cliff.

audience reaction: The audience seemed to like it.

recommendation: This is strictly a rental since the script for, and the directing of, this movie both lack polish.

spoiler alert! The Immigration and Naturalization Service ( INS--I don't know what it's called now ) checks-up periodically on citizens who marry foreigners. You cannot marry someone and a short time later ( minutes or hours ) divorce that someone--it simply doesn't work that way! The INS would know about it, sooner or later. This movie is only two hours and ten minutes long, so why does it have an intermission break? And a very short one at that, I might add! As J ( Hrithik Roshan ) reached for the dangling rope from his speeding truck, that rope should have whipped his hand and/or friction-burned it--simple physics. The cops wanted an interpreter for the Filipino couple because they couldn't speak English--Bull! English is one of the three major languages in the Philippines ( Cebuano and Tagalog being the other two ). Any Filipino who has enough money to travel abroad is well-educated and can speak English. Of course, the hard accent that some Filipino tribes use in speaking English is an altogether different matter! Ha, ha, ha. In the shoot-out with the biker gang, the cops just stood there on the stairs instead of ducking for cover. The cops just stayed directly behind that big rig which was hauling cars when they knew what J was gonna do with each and every car. As they rode in the convertible, no wind noise could be heard. Natasha ( Barbara Mori ) wasn't paying much attention to the road in the car chase. And I was disappointed when I realized that the good guys and the bad guys do not get together to do a typical Bollywood-style "song and dance" ending.

fyi: Hrithik Rosan has the best-looking eyes that I've ever seen on the big screen. His eyes are not blue, not green, not amber, not brown and not violet but a combination of all of the above. And the camera lingered on his eyes in the clear broad daylight scenes to accentuate the effect. If Hollywood--or Bollywood, for that matter--ever decides to do a new Jesus Christ movie, Hrithik is the man for the job, based on his eyes and exotic good looks.

Unfortunately, Hrithik has a deformity--easily fixable, mind you! He has a vestigial digit attached to the lateral side of his right thumb. Hey, dude ... you're rich and famous now! Why don't you have a surgeon remove that thing? You're not keeping it on for good luck, I hope.

The Ending Credits lists a man named Joseph Stalin. I wonder if he's in any way related to the genocidal communist dictator.

word of advice: You can't buy love.

tidbits: I decided to see this "Bollywood" movie after my Kriya Yoga group practice session ended for the day.