UNSTOPPABLE, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 38 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Friday, November 12th, 2010
show: 12:25 p.m. ( Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee )
costs: $6.25 Ticket + $4.00 20 oz Strawberry Fanta = $10.25
auditorium: 8
seat: 5th row, 10th column

synopsis/overview: A long-time locomotive engineer, Frank ( Denzel Washington ), and a rookie, Will ( Chris Pine ), band together to try and stop a run-away train filled with explosives from derailing and causing death and destruction in a densely populated area of Pennsylvania.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The rookie reporting for work; 2.) No air brakes; 3.) 'Phone call; 4.) Throttle; 5.) Turned backwards; 6.) Train full of kids; 7.) Coaster; 8.) Hooters; 9.) Railroad safety officer; 10.) "It's not a coaster"; 11.) "Throttle in notch 8 ... full power ... it was 39 cars"; 12.) Near-miss; 13.) Restraining order; 14.) Failed attempt; 15.) In training; 16.) News; 17.) Molten phenol; 18.) Horse trailer; 19.) "71 on the gun"; 20.) "Connie sent you"; 21.) Rear-ending from in front; 22.) Derail; 23.) "Playing chicken"; 24.) Evacuation; 25.) "She already told us"; 26.) "You already did ... 72 days ago"; 27.) "You're breaking-up"; 28.) "My sister-in-law"; 29.) The safety switch; 30.) "I asked them nicely"; 31.) "50-50"; 32.) Portable derailers; 33.) The estranged wife's house; 34.) Hunch; 35.) Yellow vest; 36.) Attached; 37.) Duct tape; 38.) "He's different"; 39.) "Tug of war"; 40.) "Real hot"; 41.) Manual braking; 42.) Fuel storage tanks; 43.) The Stanton Curve; 44.) Truck bed; 45.) Under control; 46.) News conference; 47.) "Problem solved"; and 48.) Character "updates" during the Ending Credits.

favorite scene: The girls at Hooters, what else?

audience reaction: The audience was spell-bound by this thrill ride. People in the audience actually clapped their hands when the run-away train was brought under control.

recommendation: I liked this movie, too. Go see it.

spoiler alert! Both doofuses should have been fired for insubordination during an emergency situation. The truck was going at least 50 mph; I don't think that you can keep the passenger door fully open at that speed while you lean out to try to grab something. And if you did manage to keep the door open, somehow, at that speed and were able to grab hold of that switch lever with the truck still in motion, your right arm would probably get ripped-off! It's no wonder that they're a couple of doofuses! The camera man was near the female reporter when the train hit the horse trailer but, somehow, his shot of the accident was from quite a distance! The home TV set turned-on too quickly. The estranged wife's reaction to when Will disappeared momentarily was not emotionally believable. I guess the thought of collecting on her husband's life insurance, on his social security, on a potentially big lawsuit and on his death benefits was dancing happily in her mind at that moment! L.O.L.

HOW TO STOP AN UNSTOPPABLE RUN-AWAY TRAIN: The Safe, Easy and No Stress Way
by:
Cine-Man

First, find a long section of the railroad track that is relatively straight and on an incline grade--it doesn't even have to be a steep incline grade.

Second, apply a thick glob of axle grease every yard or so on either side of that section for at least a few hundred yards' length.

Third, take your time to climb up safely onto the train's locomotive.

Then, turn the damn thing off!

What could be more simpler than this? Of course, it is not the stuff that makes for a good Hollywood Suspense/Thriller--'must be why they didn't consult with Cine-Man on this one! I can truly be too smart for my own good at times.

fyi: This movie is based on the true story of the "Crazy Eights" ( # 8888 ) run-away train incident back on May 15th of 2001. The "Crazy Eights", a 47-car freight train, rumbled unmanned out of the Stanley Yard in Walbridge, Ohio, at around 12:30 p.m. and traveled for about 66 miles. It never went through a densely populated area. And there were no deaths, injuries or property damage reported in that incident.

The towns of Stanton and Brewster in Pennsylvania are fictional. But there is a New Stanton in Pennsylvania.

The manager who hired me at my place of employment in Benicia, CA, quit his managerial position because he wanted to become a locomotive engineer. But he didn't last long at his new job because the other locomotive engineers were prejudiced towards him and gave him a hard time.

Director Tony Scott and Denzel Washington teamed-up for last year's TAKING OF PELHAM 123, another "Train" movie.

word of advice: Stick with safety protocols.

tidbits: After the movie, I went to Selecta Filipino Buffet to see if the owner ordered some gandules. He forgot again! So, I just had lunch there while I text-messaged my brother to find out where I need to go for tomorrow's Pacquiao fight.

When I got home, I went to the main lobby first to check for mail. But there was a sign posted on the mail box telling half of the residents, myself included, to go to the main post office to pick-up our mail because a thief/vandal tampered with the mailbox. Damn, 'another thing for me to unnecessarily do tomorrow!

SKYLINE, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 34 min )

where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA

when: Friday, November 12th, 2010
show: 12:01 a.m.
costs: $11.00 Ticket + $4.50 Hot Dog + $0.00 small Diet Coke ( free on Movie Watcher Rewards Card ) = $15.50

auditorium: 15

seat: 4th row, 5th seat

synopsis/overview: THE MATRIX and WAR OF THE WORLDS had sex and ended-up with this mutant of a movie, with PREDATOR as its nanny.

Our scientists' search for extra-terrestrial intelligence backfires when a massive alien invasion preys on helpless humans.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Blue lights; 2.) Military helicopters; 3.) "The cat's out of the bag"; 4.) "I'm late"; 5.) "We have a winner"; 6.) Complaint; 7.) The curious guy; 8.) Rapture; 9.) "There's something out there"; 10.) Roof-top; 11.) More raptured people; 12.) "It controls you"; 13.) The old man; 14.) Pictures; 15.) "It's the timer"; 16.) Basement garage; 17.) Brain; 18.) "Like it or not, this is happening"; 19.) "I hate L.A."; 20.) "It is real, you'd better wake up"; 21.) "I felt powerful, I still do"; 22.) "Remind us how it worked last time"; 23.) First hit; 24.) "They're not dead"; 25.) "We're at war"; 26.) "What if there's not enough bed sheets"; 27.) "He's sick"; 28.) Helicopter; 29.) Viya con Dios; 30.) Hand-to-multiple-hands combat; 31.) Beamed-up; 32.) Inside the cyborg ship; 33.) The Red Brain; and 34.) Photo stills during the Ending Credits.

audience reaction: The crowd was less than enthusiastic about this movie either because it was late in the night and they were all very sleepy or because this movie is all SFX and nothing else.

recommendation: I didn't like this movie. It is strictly a rental.

spoiler alert! First of all, an invasion of that magnitude would have been easily detected by every country's air defense system. It looked like only the California Air National Guard ( weekend warriors that they are ) responded to the attack. And they responded too slowly. What about the rest of the Armed Forces? There are plenty of gangs in Los Angeles, and they are better armed than the police and could have put-up a good fight against the alien invaders. But their predilection for territorial battles was not put to any use at all. Since the alien ships are essentially giant cyborgs, their flesh would not be impervious to fire, explosions, acids, bombs, gun/artillery fire, infections, etc. A cyborg's injured body parts that are made of flesh cannot be mechanically rebuilt on the spot, but must be biologically regrown which take considerable time. I guess that the aliens didn't know that at 4:27 a.m. in Los Angeles mostly alcoholics, drug addicts, pimps, prostitutes, sociopaths, sex addicts, crazy people, homeless people, and disease-infested people are out on the streets! The brains of such people would have severely impeded the aliens' invasion plan as well as their coordination. The human brain is, on average, about three pounds. If you bear that in mind, the way that each human brain was extracted and manhandled ( should that be, cyborghandled? ) and the weight of the brain, itself, pressing down on the mechanical hand together would have severely damaged the motor cortex of each brain. In other words, those cyborgs that received the brain transplants would not have functionally ambulated due to this fact alone! What about Human Donor/Extra-Terrestrial Recipient Incompatibility? Don't the technically-advance cyborgs have heat sensors to better hunt us humans with? Why did he say, "Vaya con Dios" to the evil alien cyborg? Doesn't he know that it is Spanish for, "Go with God"? The condo could not have possibly blown-up because when the window was broken all of that built-up gas should have become diluted to the point where a massive explosion was simply unlikely. Why didn't the octopus-like cyborg use its many arms to defend itself against Jarrod ( Eric Balfour )? The blue light makes the people lose their will and makes them "robotic," so why did the couple get "lovey-dovey" when they were being "tractor-beamed" into the cyborg ship? Some of the lines were unintentionally funny. Is it just me or did they unnecessarily put a Flash-Back Scene at the beginning of this movie to make it longer by a few wasted minutes? Why didn't the alien cyborgs invade mainland China where they can have an "All-You-Can-Eat Buffet" to their ( transplanted? ) hearts' content?

fyi: This movie is meant to be a cautionary tale on two fronts: Artificial intelligence gone wrong and blind religious reliance on "The Rapture."

In our quest to improve on the human organism, scientists are finding ways to make a biological and mechanical interface more feasible. The Cybernetic Organism, a.k.a. Cyborg, of Sci-Fi fame is not all fiction anymore as advances in nanotechnology, computers, robotics and various areas of specialty in the medical world have made it a definite possibility.

This movie shows an inter-galactic, parasitic alien cyborg parallel gone unchecked.

As for the religious side of the coin ....

Conspiracy theorists have started to postulate that the New World Government under the leadership of the Anti-Christ will claim that the long and eagerly anticipated Rapture of the Christian Church will actually be a massive alien abduction, to try to fool The Believers into fighting against their Lord and Saviour.

word of advice: If you use an Electronic Bug Zapper, the Law of Karma will sentence you to be abducted by aliens whose spaceship looks like one big, mean-looking bug zapper!

tidbits: My seat was creaky. And the seat next to it, number 6, was very dirty. This theatre needs to have a lot of its seats replaced in every single auditorium since they are showing their age.

The sound system was not working well, too. It wasn't loud enough and it didn't have the "Surround-Sound" effect.

I went to Food 4 Less after the movie to buy the ingredients that I will need for tomorrow's Arroz Con Gandules.

Blogspot.com is acting-up again because I can't get my synopsis/overview to be in the color green.

MORNING GLORY, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 35 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Thursday, November 11th, 2010

show: 11:45 a.m. ( Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee )

costs: $6.25 Ticket + $4.50 medium Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $2.27 7.2 oz ( 20% Bonus Size ) CVS Tropical Trail Mix ( Bought at the nearby CVS Drugstore and smuggled-in ) = $13.02

auditorium: 12

seat: 3rd row, 9th column

synopsis/overview: Becky Fuller ( Rachel McAdams ), a new TV executive producer for a lowly-rated early morning show, Daybreak, who's desperate for a ratings boost to keep her show on the air, hires an egotistical former news anchor, Mike Pomeroy ( Harrison Ford ), to work alongside the show's opinionated co-host, Colleen Peck ( Diane Keaton ). As Becky tries to keep the clashing egos in check, she also has to try and make her fledgling romance with a handsome colleague, Adam Bennett ( Patrick Wilson ), work. Will she get the best of both worlds or will she not?

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Breakfast date; 2.) Very early morning TV news/talk show; 3.) Bad news; 4.) Good news; 5.) "Are you gonna sing"; 6.) Elevator; 7.) "Don't mention that"; 8.) Fetishist; 9.) Meeting; 10.) Contract; 11.) "You're here for the money"; 12.) Power struggle; 13.) Condolences; 14.) "Things are looking up"; 15.) Promotional film; 16.) "There's a rash on your neck"; 17.) Contacts; 18.) "Practically suicidal"; 19.) "I bungle, I rumble"; 20.) Fetching Mike; 21.) "Ungrateful little bastards"; 22.) Frittata; 23.) African rain stick; 24.) "Happy 1st Day"; 25.) "Change the graphic"; 26.) Goodbye; 27.) "How reliable is your alarm clock"; 28.) "Dan Rather"; 29.) Six weeks; 30.) "Imagine my surprise"; 31.) Fake crowd; 32.) "Picking-up the game"; 33.) Roller coaster; 34.) "I'm a rock" segments; 35.) Rap show; 36.) Rehab programs; 37.) Sauerkraut; 38.) Kidnap; 39.) Indictment; 40.) Bran/donut; 41.) "I told you I couldn't banter"; 42.) Job offer; 43.) Interview; 44.) Cooking show; 45.) "He's not gonna ask you twice"; 46.) Dictionary; and 47.) Prostate.

audience reaction: The audience enjoyed this movie. And some people in the audience gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation: I liked this movie, too. Go see this "Chick Flick."

spoiler alert! All throughout the movie, I had the nagging suspicion that a prominently-displayed acronym stands for some kind of medical condition. Near the end of the movie was when it hit me: IBS is a medical acronym for Irritable Bowel Syndrome! So, if that TV station was really desperate for a ratings boost, first and foremost, they should have changed their name!

And for anyone old enough to know--Cine-Man included--"Morning Glory" is slang for waking-up in the morning with a massive hard-on ( i.e. penile erection )! And "Good Morning" to you, too.

The above two observations are reasons why Hollywood should hire the services of Cine-Man!

Fetish guy should have been fired a long time ago for sexual harassment and for watching porn on his work computer ( Lawsuits, anyone? ). And Mike should have been fired a long time ago for drinking on the job. And fraternization at work is really unprofessional and should not have been encouraged in the first place ( Once again, lawsuits, anyone? ). I don't know how far she ran ( it seemed to be quite a distance, though ), but she should have been sweaty and out of breath.

fyi: I would have done the same thing, too, if a cellphone-obsessed girl was that rude and inconsiderate to me on our first date! Hah! Learn some manners, biatch ....

I had an uncle, Uncle Ernesto, who made a Sauerkraut & Pork dish that was so delicious! I don't know whether or not it was his own invention. But I never bothered to ask him for the recipe. And my cousins told me that he never wrote down his recipes. I only had it once so I don't really have a good memory of it. But, someday, I'll try and recreate it.

word of advice: Don't mix business with pleasure.

There's a time and place for everything, even including cellphone use.

tidbits: While waiting in line, two old white ladies in front of me, who were there to see MORNING GLORY, were looking at the marquee. One commented that there's only one show for UNSTOPPABLE. I mentioned to them that the listing is for the midnight show because the movie is supposed to start showing tomorrow. And one lady said to her companion that I'd probably go see it. And I said that, actually, I am going to the midnight showing of SKYLINE. They asked me what it is about. I told them that it's about aliens. They laughed. And one said, "Oh, we'll let you watch that."

At the concession counter, I saw one of the regulars at my place of employment in Benicia, CA. I guess that she was there for MORNING GLORY, too.

My Geo Metro has been in the shop for two days now. And the mechanic finally got around to inspecting the transmission today. I got the call after I had lunch at Selecta Filipino Buffet and as I crossed Springs Road while travelling on Oakwood. I told the service advisor that I had to pull over at the curb first because I was driving a stick-shift. He told me that I needed a new clutch and that I have to have the transmission rebuilt. But he said that the ( three cylinder, 55 horsepower ) engine is still running strong and almost like brand-new ( even with 135,000 + miles on it ). I told him to go ahead and fix it ( My Metro's reliability has earned it that right! ). The cost ... $1,8000.oo. It will be ready for pick-up on Monday. Then, I will have to take it to CSAA to have its insurance coverage adjusted.

The day that I bought my Geo Metro brand-new in September of 1994 was the day that I learned to drive a stick-shift. I took a two-hour crash course in stick-shift driving from a Chinese driving instructor prior to visiting the car dealership. The way he showed me how to work the stick was to shift down to 1st gear while the car was still in motion. I found out just three years ago that this is a No-No! And I'd been driving my Geo Metro that way for at least 13 years! To its great credit, though, my Geo Metro held-up pretty well despite the unintentioned abuse it received from my bad driving habit. Which is why I gave the mechanic the "Go-Ahead."

THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET'S NEST, R ( 2 hr & 28 min )

where: CINE ARTS PLEASANT HILL in Pleasant Hill, CA
when: Sunday, November 7th, 2010
show: 7:00 p.m.
costs: $10.25 Ticket + $4.50 medium Zero Coke + $20.74 dinner before the show @ Todai Sushi And Seafood Buffet ( + $3.01 Tip ) + $5.00 Benicia Bridge Toll = $43.50
auditorium: 1, the Cine Dome
seat: 6th row, 24th column

synopsis/overview: This sequel picks-up where the second sequel ( THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE ) in the trilogy left-off.

Lisbeth Salander ( Noomi Rapace ) is rushed to the hospital, charged with the attempted murder of her own father. Meanwhile, Mikael Blomkvist ( Michael Nyqvist ) sets about to try and prove Lisbeth innocent of the charge. At the same time, a secret group is conspiring to silence Lisbeth once and for all before she can name names.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The possible hit-and-run victim; 2.) Newsroom; 3.) Two old men; 4.) Strategy; 5.) Confidential papers; 6.) Old killer; 7.) Smile; 8.) Right decision; 9.) News conference; 10.) Evil plan; 11.) Stolen/missing report; 12.) "My word is Law here"; 13.) Clandestine group; 14.) Pizza; 15.) Personal message; 16.) Blackmail; 17.) Constitutional defense; 18.) "Information for information"; 19.) Break-in; 20.) Central station; 21.) Teapot; 22.) Victor's place; 23.) Anonymous e-mail; 24.) "Legal introduction"; 25.) Bicyclist; 26.) United; 27.) Touch; 28.) Police; 29.) Wire tap; 30.) The investigative meeting; 31.) Restaurant; 32.) Court hearing; 33.) "381 days"; 34.) Wi-Fi connection; 35.) Evidence; 36.) Revised reports; 37.) Three versions; 38.) Free; 39.) TV news; 40.) Estate; 41.) Unwanted reunion; 42.) Bikers; and 43.) The good news.

audience reaction: The audience was in rapt attention.

recommendation: I liked this movie, too. It wraps-up the whole trilogy well. Go see this Crime/Courtroom Drama.

spoiler alert! The two police officers were too slow to react to danger. The bullet should have been embedded deeper in the brain and resulted in a more serious brain damage and/or paralysis. For a comparison, James Brady, former President Reagan's Press Secretary, was shot in the head with a .22 caliber bullet at close range in an assassination attempt on the president's life by John Hinckley, Jr. on March 30th of 1981, which left Brady partially paralyzed for life and unable to continue on with his job. The bullet used on Lisbeth was more than likely a 9 mm which is three times heavier than a .22 and has an impact velocity of 50 fps more than the .22. In other words, the brain damage suffered by Lisbeth when she was shot also at close range should have been considerably more--if she survived it in the first place! Her right arm was just temporarily paralyzed and should have therefore been not stiff at her side when she got back in her hospital bed. Lisbeth actually suffered two head traumas: From the bullet wound and from the surgical removal of a piece of her skull to remove the bullet. What I am getting at is this: Such head traumas would have shocked the hair follicles in the affected and surrounding areas to automatically go into the Catagen Phase ( resting stage ), then immediately into the Telogen Phase ( falling-out stage ). Therefore, the shaved area of her head should have taken a considerably longer length of time ( four months on average ) to start--I repeat, start--growing back the hair! ( Why doesn't Hollywood use Cine-Man's knowledge of Human Anatomy and Physiology to good use? ) I can just see copy-cats dress-up like Lisbeth Salander for their day in court--oh, boy, what a defense attorney's nightmare it will be. Why didn't the big goon use his hands to pry-off his feet? And speaking of the big goon, he was not deaf. So, he could have easily moved his other foot away.

fyi: The god of Hollywood movies answered my prayer because they cast a better looking actress, Rooney Mara, to play the part of Lisbeth Salander in the Hollywood version of this Swedish trilogy. I just hope that Rooney has shapelier and firmer breasts than Noomi Rapace!

So, once again ... O god of Hollywood movies, thank you for answering my prayer. And if it is not too much to ask of you--and I know it isn't--please have Hollywood take notice of my work and hire my services as a script consultant, technical advisor, scene editor, script writer and actor. Thank you in advance, O lord. Amen. Oh, and by the way, please make sure that Rooney Mara has nice, firm boobs--thank you!

word of advice: Don't leave any loose ends.

tidbits: I woke up at around 6:20 a.m. Having had just a little over four hours of sleep because I did my sound meditation prior to retiring for the night. I had my alarm clock set to go off at 10:15 a.m. So, I tried to get more sleep, but with no luck at all.

At around 7:15 a.m., I decided to have breakfast at the Burger King beside the Motel 6. I had pancakes, sausage, orange juice, scrambled eggs and hash browns. Then, I walked into the gas-mart next door to buy a banana and a 14 fl oz bottle of Zero Coke for my road trip home. And some kid was outside asking for spare change, but I didn't give him any.

Back at my motel room, I hopped back in bed in the hope of catching some more zzzs. But ... no such luck. So, I got in the shower at around 9:45 a.m. And I checked-out at 10:45 a.m. I had it in mind to complain about how the cleaning lady had "cut corners" to clean my room, but the old white man ahead in line of me beat me to it since he had a similar complaint--and he even complained about there being a fly in his room. Sheesh!

I went to get a full tank of gas at the Chevron gas station across the street. I spent $21.00 for a full tank. And I called my friend, Hector, and told him that I've taught my friend, Rey, how to make Arroz Con Gandules. And I told Hector that Bakersfield is a beautiful place; then I told him to keep his relatives away from this city or the property values are gonna go down. Finally, I started my home-bound trip at around 11:10 a.m. after emptying my bladder first.

One thing that I noticed about my Bakersfield trip is that there are lots of Chevron gas stations along the way. And Chevron--as some of you may already know--is the only gas that I put in both of my cars. I needlessly worried that I'd be forced to put an inferior brand of gas in my tank. It was like my blue Hyundai Accent died and went to Chevron gas station heaven! Or if my Accent was a male dog, it was as if it discovered a virgin forest with lots of trees to claim as its own.

When I drove-up Fairfax to get on the highway, I saw either before or after the Pentecostal Church a dead black Chow Chow at the curb. It had a trail of blood so that it either was pulled off the road or it crawled there after it was run-over. Poor dog.

As I traveled north on 99, I kept a watch on the exits because my exit, CA-46/Paso Robles Highway, was coming up. And it's the one right after CA-44, according to my hastily-written note. Well, I came upon CA-44 and, as I passed it by, I realized that CA-44 and CA-46 both have the same off-ramps! I was gonna turn around at the next exit but couldn't see an on-ramp for the opposite direction. When I passed by that exit, it was then that I saw the on-ramp, a looped one. Of course, how could I forget that not all on-ramps are straight---Duh!

I exited at the next off-ramp and looped back onto 99 South.

I was on-course once again as I traveled west on CA-46/Paso Robles Highway. Soon, I felt the urge to empty my bladder--damn that Zero Coke! So, I pulled into a Carl's Jr./Green Burrito Restaurant in Wasco to empty my bladder and to have a light lunch. I chose the $3.89 Burrito combo meal with a medium-sized fountain drink of Lemonade and Raspberry Tea--my answer to the Arnold Palmer softdrink.

Further west on CA-46/Paso Robles Highway, I came upon a military convoy of Humvees traveling in the opposite direction. There were thirteen of them, all olive drab in color except for one which was painted in desert camo. I guess the desert camo Humvee driver got lost, too, and ended-up following the wrong convoy! 'See what happens when us guys don't stop to ask for directions?

Then, I got onto the northbound I-5. It rained every once in a while with crazy drivers passing me by at over 70 mph, the posted speed limit. Once, I had to go up to 80 mph just to pass by a couple of 18-wheelers and this idiot in a black Volvo SUV was tailgating me--the asshole wanted me to go faster than 80 mph in the rain! What a nut!

I saw a dead gray tabby on the side of the interstate. Poor cat. I also saw a ran-over hawk further up the interstate.

Later, the stench of urine and cow dung permeated an area. And I saw the source of it, not visible from the southbound direction: A sea of cows practically for as far as my four eyes could see! That can't be sanitary or healthy for the cows--and/or for us! So, that is how beef, milk, butter and ice cream originally smell like. Okay ....

I was feeling sleepy behind the wheel, probably because I had breakfast and lunch ( not because I only had a little over four hours of sleep ). But I couldn't allow myself to fall asleep because the long distance drive was my perfect excuse to rack-up as many Zhunti mantras as I could possibly recite--and I need to do a million of it. It will probably be another full year before I reach the million mark. So, I kept myself awake and kept on keeping on with my mantras--talk about dedication and discipline. ( I'd make a good monk, I tell you. )

Later on, I felt another urge to empty my bladder. Damn that Zero Coke--again. I pulled into a Chevron gas station somewhere ( in Modesto, I think ) to empty my bladder and to get a small fountain drink of Lemonade and Raspberry Tea mix. While there, I called my brother to ask him which one of our relatives is gonna have the pay-per-view Pacquiao fight. And I will be sure to teach that cousin how to make Arroz Con Gandules, too! I'm taking this rice dish away from my Puerto Rican friend, Hector, and all the other Puerto Ricans in the world because they don't deserve to have a claim on it--bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha--snort!

So, I got back on I-5 and---Opps! I shot pass the 580 connector. Nah ... that couldn't have been right because, according to my calculation, I still had about forty miles to go before I reach the connector. But, silly me, I used the southbound calculations instead of having the northbound mileage calculations worked out. Whoopsie ... no wonder I'm not a mathematician! Ha, ha, ha. But, no worries, I could still connect with 205 West to get me back to 580 West. But I had to look at the map to find out where the connector is located. And for me to do that, since I'm very near-sighted, I had to take off my glasses ( while driving in the rain, no less ) to look at the map. That was probably when I missed the connector because I traveled for miles and miles past Tracy--almost to Sacramento--before I detoured in a residential area to head south on I-5 until I saw the 205 West connector. Well, at least now I know about 205 and will use it the next time that I go down to Bakersfield. But, if anyone asks, just tell them that I took the scenic route ( my getting lost twice will just be our own little secret ).

When I got on 680 North, I planned on stopping by the Harvest House Health Food Store in Concord, first, to buy more soap, then going to Todai Sushi and Seafood Buffet Restaurant at the Sun Valley Mall, second, before seeing this show if only to rest and digest ( the meal ) before heading on home. But because I got lost twice, I had to scratch-off the health food store trip from my to-do list since there was no time for it.

I think Todai, under new management, is leaning more towards Chinese fare. I say this because they have a Mongolian stir-fry section now, only thing is that they call it the "Hibachi" grill. Yeah, right .... 'Can't fool me. Oh, and I emptied my bladder there at Todai, too!

As I was on my way out of the shopping mall, some bitch cut me off at the four-way stop! And she had the f---ing nerve to stare at me as she crossed the intersection. I should have chased the bitch down and reminded her that according to the driver's handbook, I had the right-of-way since I was on her right---Woman driver!

At the Cine Dome, I had time to use the restroom for the "number 1" and the "number 2" before the show. And when I had my softdrink ( the Zero Coke culprit ) rung-up, the concessions clerk asked me if I am a movie reviewer. How did he know that? I guess my alter persona is starting to show. Hmm ... I guess that was a good sign. ( Or, maybe, just maybe, he saw my notepad in my chest pocket and took a wild guess. Maybe .... But I doubt it. )

On my way home, I took a quick trip to the local Chevron gas station in Benicia to fill-up my tank since my fuel gauge showed that I had less than a quarter tank of gas left. I spent $28.00 for a full tank and only then learned that I still had over three gallons left in my tank.

When I got to my carport, I noted my round trip mileage. I traveled for a total of 696 miles according to my trip odometer. If I didn't do any side trips and had not gotten lost twice on the way home, I could have probably shaved-off the additional 96 miles. This trip is the farthest that I've ever driven in my whole life. 'Personal record, Yay!

And when I calculated the mpg, I found out that my stick shift Hyundai Accent did 39.12 mpg even with me averaging 70 mph on my trip. And, to think, I thought that I was only going to get 35 mpg. I wonder what my mpg would have been had I not gone faster than 65 mph. Well, there's only one way to find out ....

DUE DATE, R ( 1 hr & 40 min )

where: MAYA BAKERSFIELD 16 CINEMAS in Bakersfield, CA
when: Saturday, November 6th, 2010
show: 10:50 p.m.
costs: $9.00 Ticket + $4.25 small Popcorn + $3.75 regular Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $3.75 Nachos w/ Cheese = $20.75
auditorium: 16
seat: 4th row, 12th column

synopsis/overview: A dazed and confused road trip to L. A.

A soon-to-be father, Peter Highman ( Robert Downey, Jr. ), only wants to get back home in time for his baby's birth. But an obnoxious moron, Ethan Tremblay ( Zach Galifianakis ) decides to go along for the ride.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Baby names; 2.) Six-pack of 40s; 3.) Luggage checkpoint; 4.) Airplane; 5.) "No Fly" list; 6.) 90 friends on Facebook; 7.) Rental car; 8.) Waffle house; 9.) Drug dealer's house; 10.) "'You okay, Bubba"; 11.) Western Union; 12.) Restroom; 13.) Private moment in the car; 14.) Overpass; 15.) Car crash; 16.) Word of advice; 17.) Karma; 18.) "You'd better check yourself before you wreck yourself"; 19.) Drainage ditch; 20.) Suspicion; 21.) Coffee; 22.) "Eight cups ... full flavored ... robust blend--circle of life"; 23.) Zebra baby; 24.) Stoned; 25.) Glaucoma; 26.) Escape; 27.) Grand Canyon; 28.) Glove compartment; 29.) Acting exercise; 30.) Hospital; and 31.) "I survived him."

favorite scenes: I liked how the trailer spun around and traveled side-by-side with the truck.

And I liked the scene outside of the hospital when Peter did something to the dog. ( I don't know if the SPCA/Humane Society would consider the act an instance of animal abuse. )

audience reaction: The audience really liked this movie.

recommendation: I liked it, too. Go see this Comedy.

spoiler alert! Doesn't a person need to have some kind of permit to transport the cremated ashes of another person across state lines? Why didn't the bratty boy cry? When the car crashed, why didn't the dog fly around? If you look at the front edge of the crashed car's roof, you'll notice that it caved-in enough so that both driver and passenger should have suffered a serious case of head trauma. Why didn't the airbags deploy? Why was the pick-up truck driver just sitting there in his cab when he just witnessed a major car crash? Couldn't they have just used a vacuum cleaner to clean-up the spill in the kitchen? Why didn't the authorities put out an all-points bulletin about the stolen truck? There's no way that a truck's door can come-off that easily. And when the door came off, it should have dented the right front fender but didn't.

fyi: One time, back in Mindanao, Philippines, my family was driving back to Matina, Davao City from our trip to Kidapawan, Cotabato. My mother was driving the Toyota Land Cruiser. As we crossed one particular bridge, my mother hit a bump in the road at about 50 to 60 mph and, immediately, the SUV came to a crawl. We rode at a snail's pace until we came upon a car garage/residence. The mechanic found-out the problem: The distributor's base, just below the points and condenser, was cracked. He welded the crack and the SUV ran fine after that. I never gained confidence in Toyota SUVs after that incident because I know that had we used our Korean War-era Willys Jeep, instead, that incident would never have happened!

word of advice: Don't jump to conclusions based on hearsay and/or wild speculations.

tidbits: I wanted to have an early start on my planned road trip to Bakersfield. I had hoped to be on the road by 6:00 a.m., but I went to bed after 1:00 a.m. because my downstairs neighbor played her stereo rather loudly since she had some guests over. It was about 10:20 a.m. when I finally left my place.

Right where 580 forks into 205 to the left and I-5 to the right, I had to step hard on my brakes and swerve right to get onto I-5 at the last possible chance because I was expecting an off-ramp for 205, not a fork! Luckily, there were no cars close to mine at that time.

On I-5 where the windmill wind turbine generators are at, an interesting "crop circle" is visible to the south-bound motorists: a giant cross with a "Jesus Saves" message is spelled-out in a T-form.

At one point, I saw a red car traveling in the opposite direction with a tumble-weed on its hood. On both sides of the Interstate are barren fields with yellow picket signs that say, "Congress created the Dust Bowl." And it rained intermittently as I traveled down I-5.

Here is one interesting fact: On I-5, there is a mile-marker that says, "Bakersfield = 144 miles." The interesting fact about this marker is that it is exactly 144.4 miles from my condo's carport parking space, according to my trip odometer! How neat is that?

On CA-46, a.k.a. Paso Robles Highway, after I went through an underpass, I pulled-over at a Chevron gas station to get $6.00 worth of gas, to empty my bladder, and to ask for directions to 99. It turned out that I was headed in the right direction all along.

So, I got on 99, changed onto 204 and connected with 178, and I was well on my way to my friend's place.

My friend, Rey G., was a classmate and neighbor of mine in Matina, Davao City, Mindanao, Philippines. His family's house is directly across the street from my family's house. The last time that I saw him was in 1982!

I made a detour at Fairfax to check-in first at Motel 6 on East Brundage Lane. When I got to E. Brundage Lane, I had to maneuver between two tumble-weeds that were on the road. As I was about to pull into the motel parking lot, I changed my mind because I figured that my friend was probably worried about my present whereabouts. So, I headed up to the highway, missed the left turn on Niles, turned back to get to the Niles cross-street, made a right, and at the intersection of Niles and Fairfax I made a U-turn to get back to the motel to sign-in anyway! And I asked the front desk lady, Annie, for directions to any nearby theatre. She photo-copied directions for the two closest ones: Maya and Fox. And as she was making the photocopies, I walked on over to the gas-mart at the corner to buy a copy of the local paper. I went back to the front desk to get my room key and the photo copies. And I dropped-off my bag in my room, # 115 ( I had a hard time opening the door and had to have one of the cleaning ladies open it for me ). Then, I headed-off to my friend's house.

When I got to my friend's house, he asked me if I wanted to go eat-out. I told him, No, because I was planning on cooking some Arroz Con Gandules for him and his wife who was presently at work in another part of town. As the dish was cooking, Rey took notes of the recipe so that he could give it to his wife. I brought with me extra ingredients so that she'll have everything handy when she decides to give it a try.

As we waited for the dish to cool down after I finished cooking it, he took me for a car ride around his neighborhood. He took me to Ming Lake and to Hart Campground Park. He also showed me the bicycle paths that he uses for recreation and for his commute to work.

After Rey and I finished eating dinner, his wife, Sharon, called for him to go pick her up. When we all got back home, Sharon tried the dish that I made and liked it. And the both of them agreed that the dish will be the one they make for their church's potluck. Then, we reminisced about the old neighborhood. Rey then took pictures of us in the living room. And we talked some more until it was almost 10:00 p.m. At which point, I decided that it was time for me to go to my motel for some much-needed shut-eye.

As I got off the highway at the Fairfax off-ramp, I made a mistake and cross the intersection until I realized that I was going in the wrong direction. Then, I went back to the intersection and made another mistake when I turned left--Hey, it was dark! So, I turned around again and pulled-in at a shopping center so that I could pull out my map and look at how I made both mistakes. Then, I turned right down Fairfax and noticed the Pentecostal Church ( which I had noticed earlier in the afternoon on my way to Motel 6 ) on the left and knew right there and then that I was headed in the right direction--third time's a charm.

When I got back to Motel 6, I was still feeling wide awake because of the Cafe Vida Mocha Cappuccino instant coffee that I tried at my friend's place. So, as I sat in my car, I deliberated whether or not I should go see a movie in Bakersfield. My curiosity and my need for a new movie venue to blog about won me over.

MAYA BAKERSFIELD 16 CINEMAS is a new theatre. It is beautiful and large. And I especially liked how the front row seats are far away from the movie screen, unlike how they are situated at my local haunts in neck-straining proximity to the screen ( the Century 16 Bayfair in San Leandro, CA, is the worst )!

But as beautiful as the new theatre is, my movie-watching experience was less than pleasurable because some inconsiderate bitch seated in the row in front of mine and two chairs over to the left was constantly texting on her cellphone all through the movie! Cellphones are not only contributing factors to car accidents these days but are also encouraging people to be downright rude and inconsiderate! Trust me when I say that cellphone-obsessed girls are a big turn-off for me.