THE SKIN I LIVE IN, R ( 1 hr & 57 min )

Quickie Review:   Doctor Frankenskin or I Got You Under That Skin or Forced Skin  Take your pick of which one best describes this movie. 

A doctor's wife is burned horribly in a car accident and later kills herself.  The doctor then decides to create a "fireproof" skin.  But he will need a human guinea pig ....

At first, I liked it--please don't let me elaborate ( ahem! )--but, then,  it turned into a weirdly kinky movie even for a horn-dog guy like me ( I wanted to puke. )!  I believe that the audience expressed the same sentiment.

Here are the things that I didn't like about this movie:  The body model was not the same size and shape as the human guinea pig.  Why would an envelope inside a drawer In A Spanish Home--in Spain, I presume--have the English word, Clips, written on it?  At the party, the sleeves on the doctor's suit were too short.  That motorcycle should have been scuffed with paint from the other vehicle, which would have established  the probable fact that it was not a single-vehicle accident.  The victim was chained close to the wall yet no excrement was in sight.  ( I cannot add anything more here or I will just ruin it for those of  you who want to see this movie. ) 
                                                                                                  
**********************

The body model looked like the ones that are made by RealDoll.   ( I'm an aspiring writer so I make it my business to know such things. Ha, ha, ha.  )  Go check-out their website at:  www.realdoll.com.   Have fun reading the testimonials and the f.a.q.    ( Hey, buddy.  Can you spare me $6,000.oo?  Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha--snort! )
                                                                                                                     

ANONYMOUS, PG-13 ( 2 hr & 10 min )

where:  CINE ARTS @ PLEASANT HILL in Pleasant Hill, CA
when:  Saturday, October 29th, 2011
show:  7:20 p.m.
costs:  $10.75 Ticket + $4.50 medium Diet Coke + $1.00 3.1 oz Cookies 'N Cream Bites ( bought at a dollar store and smuggled-in ) = $16.25
auditorium:  5
seat:  4th row, Center section, 5th column


synopsis/overview:  Fornication Under Consent of Queen and Court Intrigues

To educate the masses about the cruel tyranny of Kings, a closeted nobleman playwright  finds a literary outlet in a semi-literate stage actor.

noteworthy scene:  1.) "Darker story of Quills and Swords"; 2.) Arrest; 3.) Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford ( Rhys Ifans ); 4.) "Seditious"; 5.) "You know you need not ask"; 6.) "Gift"; 7.) "Matters both of War and State"; 8.) "Powerful friends"; 9.) "Etc., etc., etc."; 10.) "Edward wishes to choose the next king"; 11.) "It would be an affront against the Muses"; 12.) "Keep your noble head from the executioner's block"; 13.) "Imposter"; 14.) "You have no Voice, that's why I chose you"; 15.) "Are you possessed"; 16.) "Writers don't have time to act"; 17.) "I return only upon my father-in-law's insistence"; 18.) Italian women; 19.) "This is why you bedded me"; 20.) Thundering applause; 21.) "Edward must be removed"; 22.) "Am I with child"; 23.) "You're neither the first nor the last of her lovers"; 24.) Illiterate; 25.) Foiled assassination attempt; 26.) Dead body; 27.) "He tried to kill me"; 28.) Bear fight; 29.) "I need more money"; 30.) "She had your child"; 31.) Indiscreet; 32.) "Your whore gave birth last week"; 33.) Three conditions; 34.) The two earls; 35.) Letter; 36.) "Not without right"; 37.) "He is quite sane"; 38.) "Words will prevail with Elizabeth ( Vanessa Redgrave )"; 39.) Brothel; 40.) "Venus and Adonis"; 41.) "No Johnson ( Sebastian Armesto ) plays at the Globe, ever";  42.) Hunchback; 43.) Mob; 44.) Trap; 45.) The scandalous truth; 46.) "Your son is going to be killed by his own mother"; 47.) "The Cecils are dependent on me"; 48.) The Act of Succession; 49.) "You came to me, Ben"; 50.) "Words, my sole legacy"; 51.) "Ruin, dishonor"; 52.) "Burned by your men"; 53.) "Marvelous"; 54.) "Avid theatre man as myself"; 55.) The first "official" Poet Laureate of  England, Ben Johnson"; and 56.) "Monument of  Words."

audience reaction:  The audience was pretty much silent throughout this intriguing movie.

recommendation:  I really liked this fascinating movie as it offers up another side to the Shakespeare Mystery that has long been a source of contention among literary scholars.  Go see this movie if you are a Shakespeare fan or if you are into Historical Drama/Mystery.

spoiler alert!  Wasn't that horse supposed to play dead?

The Ending Credits shows a disclaimer stating that there are no similarities to actual persons, dead or alive.  Hah!  What a joke ....  Did they really have to add this disclaimer?  Couldn't they just have said something along the lines of:  "Creative license was used in the making of this historical film", instead?

fyi:  "Thine eyes flash fire, thy countenance shakes a spear."  Gabriel Harvey's praise to the Earl of Oxford in 1578.  The Atlantic Magazine, Sunday, October 30th, 2011.

The fictional Hamlet and the Earl of Oxford have many similarities, according to a book by J. Thomas Looney, published in 1920. ibid

Although this movie serves-up a very compelling case, there are those who believe that it was actually Lord Francis Bacon, a close friend ( and half-brother? ) of the Earl of Oxford, who authored the Shakespearean Plays.

But, that's not all ....

There are also those who suspect that the legendary "immortal"  alchemist ( who faked his own death at least twice--supposedly ) , Count de Saint Germaine, whose coat of arms is similar to that of Lord Francis Bacon, is actually Lord Bacon himself!  Bring on the Bacon!

We have more words in our English Vocabulary than Shakespeare ever had in his!  Unfortunately, though, with the advent of  Texting, our vocabulary is now heading down an atavistic spiral towards Troglodyte English.  Ha, ha, ha.  'Not funny, actually ....

As an aspiring writer, although I don't have an extensive command of the English language to fully appreciate Shakespearean Plays, I can empathize with one of the characters in this movie:  To get your works published is the only way to give birth to the words that you conceived.   Hmm,  maybe I should put this in my ...  

word of advice:  The Pen is mightier than the Sword.

tidbits:  I had just gotten on the I-80 Freeway from Redwood Street when I found myself tailing an SUV with the personalized license plate, NO STEP, and with a personalized spare tire cover, with the words: "Cicciolini Films."  I brought this up because its driver was "speeding" at 40 mph on a 65 mph freeway.  He must have been just advertising his business.  Don't patronize his movies!  Ha, ha, ha.

Upon arrival at the theatre, and after looking-up at the marquee, I was surprised to find out that this movie was not playing in The Dome but was, instead, relegated to the last auditorium!  How could they do this to Shakespeare?

I wanted to see THE RUM DIARY a mile or so away from this theatre at the Century 16 Downtown Pleasant Hill and XD after the show.  But I changed my mind at the last minute because THE SKIN I LIVE IN is showing here in The Dome and is in limited release.  I can just go and see THE RUM DIARY someplace else.

P.S.  Is it just me or are the English in the habit of putting-out historical period pieces this late in the year just prior to the Oscars?  The ruse is exposed by none other than Cine-Man, himself!  Thank you, thank you and thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

IN TIME, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 55 min )

where:  EDWARD FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Friday, October 28ht, 2011
show:  1:45 p.m.
costs:  $8.00 Ticket + $0.50 medium Zero Sprite ( upgraded from a free small drink with my movie watcher rewards card ) = $8.50
auditorium:  5
seat:  4th row, 4th seat


synopsis/overview:  In a future world where nobody ages past the age of 25, the only currency is Time.  The rich get to have as much time as they want and/or need.  But the poor struggle every day just to try to stay alive with their limited time on hand.  But one man, Will Salas ( Justin Timberlake ), decides to change all of that after he is falsely accused of murder and theft  when  he saves a suicidal rich man, by sheer happenstance,  from time thieves and is given the gift of a century in return.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) "Time is now the currency"; 2.) "Happy 50th"; 3.) 99 Seconds Only Store [ nice touch ]; 4.) Quota; 5.) Bar; 6.) "I know who took him"; 7.) "For a few to be immortal, many must die"; 8.) "Don't waste my time"; 9.) The bridge; 10.)  "You know that time will get you killed"; 11.) "You'd better run"; 12.) Death; 13.) "What was he doing in this Time Zone"; 14.) Border crossings; 15.) Surveillance video; 16.) Hotel; 17.) Casino; 18.) Insane; 19.) "Why are you investigating a suicide?  There are  mass murders in the ghetto everyday"; 20.) "Now you like the idea of sharing"; 21.) "I hope those are real"; 22.) "Your name's on a lot of buildings"; 23.) "He was doing something far more dangerous"; 24.) Stake-out; 25.) "He was giving them hope"; 26.) "Out of time"; 27.) "Stealing what's already stolen"; 28.) "Will, look out"; 29.) Cop car; 30.) "We look cute together"; 31.) "She doesn't appear to want to be rescued"; 32.) "You don't watch"; 33.) Bank robbery; 34.) Gifts; 35.) News; 36.) Strip poker; 37.) "So much for your theory"; 38.) Bus; 39.) Fully-booked; 40.) Line-up; 41.) "That's insulting"; 42.) Break-in; 43.) Hand-wrestling; 44.) "The time he's given away, Sir"; 45.) Cost of living increase; 46.) "Is it stealing if it's already stolen"; 47.) "Everybody wants to live forever"; 48.) "Shoot on sight"; 49.) "You can run"; 50.) The time-keeper's time; 51.) "You can do a lot in a day"; 52.) 100 years; and 53.) "You almost missed your calling."

favorite scenes:  I liked the "Will, Look Out!" scene.  Her "funny face" was a blast!

And I liked the Hand-Wrestling scene.

audience reaction:  The reaction was so-so.

recommendation:  I didn't particularly like this movie that much.  It definitely isn't a Thinking Man's type of Sci-Fi movie--I don't mean to insult or disrespect everyone else.

Just allow me to present my argument in my ...

spoiler alert!  There are so many things wrong with this movie that I have a hard time figuring-out where to begin my argument.  But, here goes ....

At the earliest, we can peg the start time of this movie's events approximately 105 years from our present year of 2011 which would set it in the year 2116 a.d.,  assuming that we at present have the Science and Technology to make this bio-engineered "fountain of youth" marvel medically feasible and available.  It is estimated that by the end of this year, our World Population will have reached Seven Billion!  [ Update:  According to the Monday, October 31st, 2011 edition of the Contra Costa Times newspaper, the World Population is already at Seven Billion--and counting! ]  If we have this technology now, the rich and powerful will be the first ones to get their greedy/selfish  hands on it.  And I'm talking about the ones that are over 25 years of age already--people like Bill Gates, the Sultan of Brunei, Donald Trump, etc!  So, this movie should have had old farts who stopped their aging process at an old fart age!  Now, for those who are 25 and under today, there is still the daunting logistics involved in the medical administration of this obviously expensive bio-engineered "fountain of youth" serum/device/or whatever it is.  Who gets to have it, and who gets to shoulder the costs of administering this thing to billions of people?  There would be mass rioting and revolts everywhere!  Logically speaking, a whole number of people will have to be exterminated first!  Because if everyone were to be given this thing, the whole world would experience unprecedented crises in the limited availability of food and water, and the exponential increase in toxic pollution and other such ecological hazards, to boot.  Add to this mix the fact that a long-life host will have microbial pathogens and diseases that will evolve into hardier strains--more money/time for the Drug Companies!  Now, the rich don't want to acquire all that time only to lose it doing something really stupid.  Which is probably why I didn't notice even one motorcycle in this movie at all.  But ... they travel around in vehicles that take their design and styling cues from vehicles of  the 60s and 70s--and without airbags, rollbars  and headrests on top of all that!  How stupidly ironic is that?  A hundred and five years into the feature and they still use what suspiciously looks like a modified M1911 Colt 45 Pistol which was invented way back in 1911!  Even as I write this, pistols are already designed without a need for a magazine and without a firing pin ( go to YouTube and watch: Deadliest weapons ever invented--Metal Storm ).  Such handguns have bullets chambered bilaterally and fired via electronic ignition!  One  of these guns can fire explosive, armor-piercing bullets at a rate of 250,000 ( yes, you read that right ) rounds per minute.  And another one of these guns can fire .45 caliber bullets at a rate of 1,000,000 ( yes, again, you read that right ) rounds per minute!  And we here in the good ol' USA now have guns designed for urban warfare that shoot smart bullets which can kill an enemy sniper hiding behind a thick concrete wall!  What if you got into a fight or had a bad accident that damaged your implanted bio-engineered time clock?  Do you go to a clock repair shop for it?  What if the person was an amputee or, worse, a double amputee, what then?  No security video of the suicidal man on the bridge was ever found, but they found one of Will's!  How stupid ....  "You know that time will get you killed"---Speak for yourself, you f--king alcoholic!  Ha, ha, ha.  I don't know about you, but if a beautiful, hot and sexy woman like that was desperately trying to hitch a ride from somebody--heck--I'd give her a ride right away ( Yogi or not, here I come ); and I wouldn't care how old she would be because she wouldn't be a day over 25 as far as I'd be  concerned.  Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha--snort!  Will's mother ran for 1 1/2 hours without sweating profusely and without panting loudly?  Hah!  Yeah, right ....   It costs 8 1/2 week's worth of time for some lousy Continental Breakfast at some uppity hotel?  I guess that they don't have a 99 Seconds Only Store or a MacDonald's Restaurant in New Greenwich to go buy some breakfast items at!  Question:  What do you call a skinny-dipper who swims in the sea at night with his arm glowing in the dark?  Answer:  Shark-bait!  And speaking of skinny-dipper, there was no nudity in this one--at least one that was clearly VISIBLE, anyway.  Whether the time transferred was Ten Years, One Hour or Fifteen Minutes, the transfer time stayed the same, pretty much!  Why didn't any of them wear a lockable shield for their left forearms and a lockable glove for their right hands when they went out to socialize?  Hmm ... maybe I should invent these lockable security forearm and hand shields and go into the future and earn a ton of Time!  For the better part of his life, he didn't have a car 'cause he couldn't afford to have one; then, all of a sudden, we see him handling a sports car like a pro!   Hmm, that was a new one:  His car actually could go faster in reverse!  They hid under the bridge when it was still very dark at night but ... 1 1/2 hours later, they were in the bright of day!  They knew where he lived but they didn't do a stake-out of his place right away.  Why did that one guy turn his back on the bad guy as he walked away?  When she shot at the time-keeper ( Cillian Murphy ), she made a "funny face."  Had I been the one she shot at, even if she just grazed me, I'd probably die laughing because of the really "funny face" that she made!  The time-keepers supposedly worked in shifts; but this particular time-keeper worked 24-7, it seemed, because he was shown on-the-clock morning and night!  They have payphones but no cellphones in the future, a hundred years from now--Okay ....  Those cop cars don't have Lo-Jacks?  There were no guards at the bank.  Why didn't the time-keeper's car have a voice-recognition app?  I mean, come on!  Really.  I guess using your right hand to shake hands with another is So Totally out of the question!  And you can just forget about using your left hand to shake hands with somebody because it is considered Taboo in many cultures!  Yet, again, another Hollywood movie with that visually-annoying practically dry aqueduct used as a setting for some scenes; I don't even think that people are allowed to park their cars down there in the first place in real life today!

Oh, Hollywood, when are you gonna smarten-up and use my services as script consultant and scene editor?  I can help to make your movies more appealing to the Smart Crowd if you just give me a chance.

fyi:  More than likely, this movie draws its inspiration from the New Testament of the Bible's Book of Revelation ( a.k.a. The Apocalypse )  Chapter 13, Verses 16 through 18, about the Mark of the Beast.

This movie gives new meaning to Time Theft.

word of advice:  Have some time on your hands.

Time is precious.

Don't waste your time.

tidbits:  At the concessions counter, a female employee said, "Oh, you're back."  I told her that I review movies on-line.  Then, I gave her one of my Cine-Man cards.


Special Announcement:  I would like to take this time to say, Thank You and Welcome, to my readers in ...

Sri Lanka



Thank you, once again.  Please keep on reading my weekly updates.  And don't forget to tell all of your friends, and every one else who you know, about my movie review blogsite.

PUSS IN BOOTS I-MAX 3-D, PG ( 1 hr & 30 min )

where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Friday, October 28ht, 2011
show:  12:00 p.m.
costs:  $17.50 Ticket + $5.25 Zap Pack = $22.75
auditorium:  12
seat:  4th row, 6th seat

synopsis/overview:  Goosezilla is coming!

Long before he met Shrek, Puss in Boots was the local town hero until he was wrongly-accused of stealing from the local bank.

Now an outcast, he comes face to face with the ex-friend who used him, Humpty Dumpty.   Reluctantly, Puss in Boots agrees to help his former friend to steal a Goose that lays Golden Eggs, if only to compensate his old town's bank and restore honor to his name.  But before that can happen, they have to steal Jack and Jill's Magic Beans with the help of the best cat burglar in the world, Kitty Soft Paws.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) "You can't run forever"; 2.) Bar; 3.) "No baby muffins"; 4.) "You snap me"; 5.) Dance fight; 6.) "I smell something familiar"; 7.) "It ain't Over-Easy"; 8.) Distraction; 9.) The orphanage years; 10.) Second chance; 11.) Style advice; 12.) No claws; 13.) Bridge; 14.)  "You're better"; 15.) "Cat people are crazy"; 16.) The beanstalk; 17.) Funny voices; 18.) Castle; 19.) Golden suit; 20.) "I need powder"; 21.) Egg paradise; 22.) River; 23.) Parachute; 24.) "He looks just like you"; 25.) "Our cue"; 26.) Celebratory dance; 27.) Interlopers; 28.) Tumbleweed; 29.) Surprise; 30.) Revenge; 31.) "Not you, too"; 32.) "It's for my glaucoma"; 33.) "Out for blood"; 34.) Escape; 35.) Weather report; 36.) "Prove to me that there is still a good egg in you"; 37.) Mother goose; 38.) "Nice boots"; 39.) Hanging for dear life; 40.) "San Ricardo's greatest hero"; 41.) "She's a bad kitty"; 42.) "I am Puss in Boots"; 43.) Glitter Box; and 44.) "Ooh ...."

audience reaction:  The audience liked this.  But it didn't get a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation:  I liked this movie, too.  It's a movie to take your little brats to.  Go see it in regular 3-D, at least, if possible.


spoiler alert!  Actually, when a cat licks up any liquid, it must curl its tongue downwards first in order for it to scoop-up the liquid.  I thought that Humpty Dumpty couldn't get up by himself, but he was able to get up all by himself in one scene.  They were out in the desert when the storm hit; but Humpty Dumpty never covered his eyes.  I think that there was a bad scene edit when they were floating in the river under the Giant's Castle; but it happened too quickly while I was scribbling notes in the dark and adjusting my I-Max 3-D glasses for me to pay any close attention to this particular scene.


fyi:  There are places in the world were declawing a cat is considered barbaric.  Apparently, the good ol' USA isn't one of them because my family took-in a part-Siamese stray female cat that was declawed.  I named her, Nicky, because it was around Christmas time that she came meowing at our front door.

The funny thing about Nicky was that she would suck on her hind paw to get herself to sleep.  A local veterinarian said that she probably was given away as a kitten before she was fully weaned.  Oh, and she looked like a young Barbra Streisand!  L.O.L.

Puss in Boots said that Cat People are crazy.  There's actually some truth to that.  And the cause of the eccentricity has to do with a mild microbial "infection" from  a certain parasite that cats have.  It has been so many years since I studied Microbiology so I don't really remember which one it is, or its mode of transmission and/or the severity/duration  of the condition/infection.

I'm a cat person, so you know what that means ....

word of advice:  Be a trust-worthy friend.

tidbits:  I was gonna go see IN TIME first.  But I didn't get to this theatre in time for the 11:10 a.m. show!  I got to the theatre nine minutes after the movie had already started, not counting the Previews.

I whiled the time away by calling my friend, Hector, on my cellphone to ask him about the "Occupy Oakland" protesters who were rough-handled by the police a day or two ago.


Special Announcement:  I would like to take this time to say, Thank You and Welcome, to my readers in:


Uganda


Thank you, once again.  Please keep on reading my weekly updates.  And don't forget to tell all of your friends, and every one else who you know, about my movie review blogsite.


P.S.  It's good to know that I'm seeing hits from Russia again.  For a while there, I thought my movie review blogs were banned in Russia because my blogsite's All-Time ( most ) Page-Views by Countries doesn't include Russia anymore.

And speaking of Page-Views by Countries,  I now have a total of 117 countries on my readership list!  Quite an accomplishment, I must say.  I think I'll celebrate by seeing more movies--goes without saying ....

THE HELP, PG-13 ( 2 hr & 26 min )

Quickie Review:  A journalist, and fledgling book writer, decides to write about the colored female help in racially segregated Jackson, Mississippi, in the early to mid 1960s.

I loved this movie!  So did the audience.  ( It didn't get a "Hands Clapper" ending, though. )  Go see this movie if it's still playing in your area.  It will be worth the time and the money that you spend on it--even with popcorn and drinks included.

This movie has very strong performances from its casts, both the principal and the supporting!  It is well-acted, well-scripted, well-paced and well-directed.  Even the very old maid and the tiny toddlers all acted well.  This will be a very strong contender for Oscars in at least two--maybe more--categories!

Here are the things that I didn't like about this movie--and they're all about the pie:  Was that whipped cream on top of the pie?  I ask because if it was, it wouldn't have survived the trip from the maid's kitchen, to the bus and into the employer's house.  Why would any of them walk around with uncovered pie?  Very unsanitary.  Oh, and if you mix "such a thing" into a pie, it would add a recognizably "distinctive" taste to the pie ( Not to mention, put one at risk of suffering from food poisoning--no laughing matter )!  The movie would have been perfect if not for these pie problems.