where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Friday, May 28th, 2010
show: 12:01 a.m.
costs: $10.00 Ticket + $5.25 small Popcorn ( w/ Butter ) + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke = $19.25
auditorium: 13
seat: 5th row, 9 column
2nd time:
where: UA EMERY BAY STADIUM 10 in Emeryville, CA
when: Sunday, May 30th, 2010
show: 8:30 p.m.
costs: $10.75 Ticket + $0.00 small Popcorn ( w/ Butter; Free movie-watcher reward ) + $4.50 small Diet Coke + $4.00 Bridge Toll = $19.25
auditorium: 3
seat: 5th row, 12th column
3rd time:
where: CONTRA COSTA STADIUM CINEMAS in Martinez, CA
when: Monday, May 31st, 2010
show: 7:30 p.m.
costs: $18.00 Ticket + $4.25 small Popcorn ( w/ Butter ) + $3.50 small Diet Pepsi + $5.40 Double Cheeseburger Mini Meal at the Benicia MacDonald's ( this includes a $1.99 Shrek collector's drinking glass ) + $4.00 Bridge Toll = $35.15
auditorium: 7, D-BOX CHAIR-equipped
seat: f 5 D-Box
synopsis: A good king adopts a street orphan, Dastan ( Jake Gyllenhaal ), who is betrayed by someone close and dear to him fifteen years later. He flees his adoptive family. And with the aid of a beautiful princess, Tamina ( Gemma Arterton ) he safeguards a magical dagger that has the power to make its possessor travel back in time.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) Adoption; 2.) Sparring match; 3.) Holy city of Alamut; 4.) Wall climbing; 5.) Eastern gate; 6.) Dagger; 7.) Victory; 8.) Vow; 9.) Rank of great Persian warriors; 10.) First wife; 11.) Betrayed; 12.) Push button; 13.) "Walk of the man who just lost everything"; 14.) "Delicate constitution"; 15.) Deal; 16.) Ostrich race; 17.) Ruse; 18.) Diversion; 19.) Avrat; 20.) Death mask; 21.) Secret meeting; 22.) Nut cracker; 23.) Bevy of beauties; 24.) Council; 25.) Hassansins; 26.) Tamsin ( sand storm ); 27.) "Coming with you"; 28.) "Just one ostrich"; 29.) Dust devils; 30.) Instinct; 31.) "Secret government killing activity"; 32.) "Tax-free"; 33.) Original promise; 34.) Attack; 35.) "We make our own destiny"; 36.) Duel; 37.) Decoy; 38.) Sands of time; 39.) "Not a coward"; 40.) "One of us"; 41.) Secret passageway; 42.) Snake bite; 43.)"Listen to your own heart"; 44.) Admission; and 45.) "I look forward to the day that we do".
audience reaction: The audience liked this swashbuckler action/adventure movie.
recommendation: It's good enough for me to give it a "Go See" recommendation if you're into action films.
spoiler alert! I have an issue with how they put an historical setting to this movie: The Persian Empire stretched from the Chinese Steppes all the way to the Mediterranean ( This is not a verbatim notation of mine ). Because, then, they took liberties by introducing inventions that probably were not yet in common use in the actual time setting for this movie. To wit:
The crossbow may not have yet been in common use by the Persians in the 6th Century BC, the likely time setting for this movie. There's evidence for its use by the Chinese in the 5th Century BC, 'though.
Horse stirrups, the kind shown in this movie, was not yet invented.
The key that Dastan used is a key made for use on a Warded Lock which was not known to the Persians before Alexander, the Great, conquered Persia.
The "halberd" that one of the Hassansins used was not invented yet. It was invented about two thousand years later, mainly for use against armored horsemen!
The bolt-shooting bracelets, or armlets, worn by another Hassansin were a technologically unfeasible weapon for the time period.
As for the other things wrong with this movie ....
The mughal sultan, i.e. the fat guy eating the walnuts, throws-off the historical perspective of the movie once again because the Mughal Empire came into power in the early 1500 A.D. and stayed in power until the 1800s when the British Empire took over the Indian subcontinent. And sultans are Muslim rulers. But, again, Islam was instituted around the first half of 600 A.D.--practically a thousand years after the time setting for this movie! ( Why doesn't Hollywood hire the services of Cine-Man as a Facts Checker?
If all it takes is for a little piece of rock to get the whole place a-tumblin' down, then that secret hiding place should have collapsed many years ago because that region of the world experiences many earthquakes--'remember the earthquake in Iran that killed many people just a few years ago? Just recently, on May 14th of this year, there was a magnitude 5.1 earthquake at around 6:50 p.m. in the state of Bushehr. And three days later, on the 17th, there was a magnitude 4.1 earthquake at around 12:37 p.m. in the state of Khuzestan. In fact, practically every day of this month alone, Iran has had earthquakes in one state or another. It's all listed on the Internet.
When the ancient floor, ceiling and walls collapsed all around him, Dastan still got out of there with no sand in his hair, face, eyes and mouth--Wow! Simply amazing.
And for all of you horndogs out there, I have good news and bad news. First, the bad news: When Tamina gets out of the water, don't expect to see a "wet T-shirt" shot--it was edited out. Now, for the good news: Some newspapers' Friday "movie guide" have a photo still of this particular scene wherein Tamina has an actual "wet T-shirt" look--Quick, get a magnifying glass! And to think that an earlier Disney movie by the same producer, Jerry Bruckheimer, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL ( 2003 ), has its leading lady, Keira Knightley, in a "wet T-shirt" scene! I don't know what happened between then and now but I think all of you horndogs out there should complain about it. The "down-blouse" shot of Tamina as she dangles precariously on a cliff face just doesn't "cut" it.
fyi: I stopped short on my synopsis. Otherwise, I'd give the plot away. But you probably will figure that one out easily by yourself early on in the movie.
Back in the Philippines, my father had a Geologist couple as clients. One day, the wife told me that somewhere deep in the densely forested region of Mt. Apo one may come across ostriches. I don't know if they are a native or an introduced species. But they are there, according to the lady geologist. She even told me that they lay giant eggs many times bigger than a chicken egg. She promised to bring such an egg over some day, but she never did or wasn't able to.
2nd fyi: I was in Oakland for my friend's birthday party barbecue ( since I'd have been a fool to refuse a "free food" offer ). After the party, and on my way home, I wanted to swing by a theatre in Martinez, CA, to check out their D-Box chair; but I missed the 7:30 p.m. show and I didn't want to wait and see the 9:55 p.m. show, so I decided to go to Emeryville, instead, and rack-up rewards points on my movie-watcher rewards card.
3rd fyi: The first movie that I saw here at Contra Costa Stadium Cinemas is Jackie Chan's RUMBLE IN THE BRONX ( 1995 ) back when I worked as a dental lab tech in Concord, CA.
I was not at all impressed by the D-Box chair. All it did was rotate left, rotate right, tilt back and forth, sway, shake, and vibrate. You can get the same effect in any theatre wherein an obnoxious, spoiled little brat is seated directly behind you and kicking and pushing against the back of your chair besides his/her oblivious-to-the-fact parent/guardian! And another thing, if they really want their D-Box chairs to impress and please people, then they should move the vibrating mechanism away from the kidney area and put it strategically you-know-where--ahem! ( That would be SWEET! )
word of advice: Don't bite the hand that feeds you.
tidbits: When Dastan and Tamina finally kissed each other, some people in the audience clapped their hands--Women!
When I stepped out of the auditorium, the hallway smelled awfully bad, as if a skunk had sprayed the area. The main lobby and the men's room, as well, smelled of skunk "perfume". When I walked out into the parking lot, again, the strong skunk scent permeated the surrounding area.
Speaking of skunk, did you know that their anal area has a white rectangular patch? Trust me, I know. You're a prime target if you can see it that clearly since a skunk has a shooting range of about 12 feet! This trivial fact will come in handy if you want to pull a prank on an unsuspecting victim--just be sure you have lots of hydrogen peroxide handy to neutralize the smell.
2nd tidbits: After we ate at the barbecue, my friends and I gathered in the living room to watch a taped UFC fight ( number 114, I think ). As we sat around, I noticed that in the roomful of white and colored people, I had the whitest legs--my legs stood-out like "Michael Jackson-white" in color compared to all the other legs around mine! Ha, ha, ha. How funny is that?
3rd tidbits: As I sat in my D-Box chair, I couldn't help but wonder if the bitch that sat behind me yesterday in the Emeryville theatre auditorium was there behind me in the Martinez theatre auditorium, too! The effect was essentially the same! Whenever my seat would move, I couldn't concentrate on what was going on on-screen because I would be reminded of my unpleasant experience from the day before. Folks, it's not worth paying extra for a D-Box experience when you can always have a disrespectful, rude, obnoxious and inconsiderate bitch, or whatever, sit behind you and give you the same effect for free.
