ANIMAL

I went to see this today, Monday, December 4th, 2023, at the Century 14 here in Vallejo, CA. The price of admission was $9.50.

Vijay has a lifelong need to always meet with his beloved father's approval. And he goes to certain extremes to do so. 

R, 3h & 2m

This movie sure was bumped

up 30 days earlier than it

was planned! I think

that there's a good

reason for it: An

anticipated hit

movie is on

its way.

😶 

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Auditorium 1, B-6

A few more people

showed up just as

the movie was

about to get

started.

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The Mile High Club. It's the only way to fly. 😉

For a great fighter, he sure doesn't know how to apply a Rear Naked Choke:

His victim should have passed

out in under 15 seconds if he

applied the chokehold

correctly.

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His obsession with underwear 🩲 reminds me of Kanye West who supposedly only uses any underwear JUST ONCE! It must be why there's a reference to buying him 365 pieces of underwear.

That door can't block bullets. Why did he shield himself from getting hit with bullets by hiding under that fallen door?

This is a first for me: They actually have a Bollywood Song & Hack now. Quite an extreme departure from the tried & true Bollywood Song & Dance! 

Some places in the world would feel somewhat uncomfortable in watching scenes with the Swastika. I know that some liberals here in the States would be "virtue signal" triggered by it! 

The mobility 🦼scooter which is outfitted with an array of Gatling Guns sure got me laughing!

Okay, Vijay killed a whole bunch of bad guys. Some of which looked physically fit! So, instead of waiting patiently for a Heart ❤️ Transplant donor, he could just have harvested a bunch of potential Heart Transplant organs on his next killing spree! 🤷‍♂️ Heck, in fact, he could have started A Very Lucrative Side Hustle Business harvesting the organs of his fallen enemies! 👌🤑👍💰 I'm sure that desperate organ recipients won't mind getting Masala Spice flavored Organs. 🙃

Worried about getting Bad Karma for killing so many people, he goes to a Catholic Church for forgiveness of his sins. But the priest condems him to 😈Hell👿, instead! Vijay should have consulted with 👉me👈 about the church's secret way of Sin Forgiveness that will have him be essentially covered for 10, 100 or even 1000 reincarnations, depending on how much money he can come up with to pay the priest ❗❗❗

How do you think all of the "christian"

genocidal maniacs got away with

killing so many people thru-

out the centuries? 🤷‍♂️

Vijay would be living future lives

as a "saintly" man. I'm just

being sarcastic, folks.

So, chill ....

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Dang the airplane's Black Box device!  😁

Gitanjali's brassiere looks like it has an under breast shelf to push up Dem Melons! 😜 Kinda reminds me of the elevator shoes for short guys! 😂

Okay, this has got to be the first Bollywood movie with a frontal nudity in it that I've seen❗ Well, maybe second if you consider 1996's KAMA SUTRA with Sarita Choudhury doing us the favor. 😏   No---Scratch that❗🤓❗ How could I even for a brief moment forget the 👉many contributions👈 made in Celluloid by Karenjit Kaur Vohra, aka Sunny Leone ❓🤷‍♂️❓🤦‍♂️❓I Do The Necessary HARD 😛 Research So That You, My Dear Readers, Don't Have To. 👀

Why are Vijay and Gitanjali arguing with each other in English? I mean, the Hindi language has been around for thousands of years! Surely, Hindi should have a whole surplus of cuss words and dirty words by now!!! 

I do know that it's a bad idea to flip a lit cigarette onto the tarmac! 😦

Again, don't shoot guns at an angle against the floor or the bullet will ricochet! 😠

There's supposedly a part 2 against an evil "twin"! 

And there are some Bonus Scenes after the movie ends. 

TIDBITS:

This movie is weird. 🥴  I don't know how to categorize it! It is Insanity, Violence and Comedy rolled into one In The Most Over The Top Way❗😕  It is about a toxic Alpha Male Testo Rage between 2 rival groups.

👉Why Bollywood should have consulted with me first before making this movie👈: 

The surgical scar on Vijay's chest looks too smooth. It doesn't look like that in a real post-op. I should know since I had one done on myself. It takes months BEFORE it smooths out. And the Rib Cage, which has to be secured back into place is held together by wire stitches 🪡. And the Chest will be loose for many months, too, and one would have to be careful how one sleeps and when one sneezes because either one might disturb the stitches. And one cannot wear any shirt that is not a button down shirt because one cannot be lifting one's arms away from one's Chest during the recovery period. And there are weekly visits from a nurse to check up on the Recovery Phase.

What I'm saying is that the fight on the tarmac could have easily ended badly for Vijay had the bad guy taken advantage of Vijay's situation ❗❗❗

A major surgery patient is also Intubated. You'd be surprised how far down they can put the breathing tube in you! And it can take a while to slowly pull it out of you. How in heck are they even able to put it in, in the 1st place?!?!?! The right side of my Throat was so sore after the tube was removed!

When I woke up from surgery and learned that someone had put a Penile Catheter in Mini-Me, I felt like I was violated. I mean, there I was under General Anesthesia in a roomful of people who were watching that catheter get shoved into poor little ol' Mini-Me! 🙁 And when I used the toilet 🚽 to empty my Bladder after the Penile Catheter was removed, the Urine Flow was so weak AND the Meatus of my "meat" 😏 fluttered with the flow of Urine, somewhat like it was "motorboating" ( see Slang definition ) all of the while that I was peeing!  🤣🤣🤣

Guys, get yourself one of these if you know

that you'll be going in for major surgery

to protect your Mini-Me! 

Only for 🇺🇲 &  🇨🇦

customers.

🙁

Soberund can hook you up with one @

www.soberundgoodes.com

It's listed in the Private

Matters collection. 

😉😉😉

-

I dined at an off the freeway Jack In The Box, on Red Top Road between Vallejo & Fairfield, a few times. I sometimes noticed that this restaurant is a pit-stop for people who deliver Live Organs for Transplants! I could easily see through the car's window the Thermos Lunch Box-style coolers that the Donor Organs are kept in❗ Can you just imagine if someone hot-wired the medical transport car or if someone broke in and stole the medical coolers thinking that there was food in them❓😳❗

For this movie, I had a small bag of almonds with me to eat with my Hungry Buddha Lemon/Blueberry Keto Bar. I washed it all down with a 0.1 oz (2.7 g) stick of Dole Zero Sugar Tropical Splash flavored 20 fl oz (591 ml) Dasani Water.

The Beginning Reader Tally is ... 

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The Ending Reader Tally for the 24-Hour period is ...

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KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE, R ( 2 hr & 9 min )

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where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Thursday, February 12th, 2015
show: 8:00 p.m. Advance Screening
costs: $7.90 Ticket + $5.95 small Buttered Popcorn + $0.00 ( free on my Cine-Mark movie watcher reward e-mail coupon ) small Powerade Mountain Berry Blast = $13.85
auditorium: 14
seat: 3rd row ( counting from the front ), 7th column ( counting from the left )

2nd time

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where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Monday ( Presidents' Day ), February 16th, 2015
show: 11:10 a.m. Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee
costs: $7.15 Ticket + $6.95 medium Buttered Popcorn + $0.65 ( upgrade on a free small fountain drink on my Cine-Mark movie watcher reward e-mail coupon ) medium Powerade Mountain Berry Blast + $1.50 Kernel Season's Cheddar flavored Popcorn Topper = $16.25
auditorium: 1
seat: 4th row ( counting from the front ), 5th column ( counting from the left )

synopsis/overview: A street punk with potential, Eggsy (  Taron Egerton ), is chosen as a candidate in a highly-competitive training program that will determine who will become the next spy to join an exclusive super secret service organization just as a tech genius madman, Valentine ( Samuel L. Jackson ), is about to unleash his diabolical plan to drastically reduce the world's population.

noteworthy scenes: 1,) Middle Eastern fortress; 2.) Suicide bomber; 3.) Medal of Valor; 4.) "Oxfords, not Brogues"; 5.) Failed hostage rescue; 6.) Diabolical weapon; 7. ) Gaia Theory; 8.) Car chase; 9.) 'Phone call; 10.) Pub brawl; 11.) "Enough evidence on your activity"; 12.) "Like MY FAIR LADY"; 13.) Secret base of operation; 14.) The new recruits; 15.) Body bags; 16.) Secret sauce; 17.) Flooded room; 18.) "You all forgot the most important thing: Teamwork"; 19.) The college classroom; 20.) Chinese secret service; 21.) "It's a bulldog, ain't it"; 22.) Puppy training; 23.) "You are completely crazy"; 24.) Guards; 25.) Surveillance video; 26.) The announcement; 27.) Parachute jump; 28.) Burgers and fries; 29.) "Do you like spy movies"; 30.) "Thank you for such a 'Happy Meal'"; 31.) Missing celebrities and dignitaries; 32.) "We certainly will"; 33.) Night club pick-up lines; 34.) "Rohypnol or something stronger"; 35.) Train tracks; 36.) Front page headlines;  37.) Fitting room 3; 38.) "German aristocrat's formal greeting"; 39.) "What a coincidence"; 40.) "You all talk so funny"; 41.) James Bond, Jason Bourne, Jack Bauer; 42.) Final test; 43.) Auto drive; 44.) Mr. Pickle; 45.) South Glade Mission Church; 46.) "This ain't that kind of movie"; 47.) "Is he dead"; 48.) Napoleonic Brandy, 49.) Culling; 50.) Secret doomsday base; 51.) The chosen people; 52.) "Well, my family was invited"; 53.) Gunfight; 54.) "Uh, uh. This is mine"; 55.) "I need a piggyback"; 56.) Pinned down; 57.) Fireworks; 58.) "You didn't stop this"; 59.) "I'll be right back"; 60.) The shoe dagger; 61.) "Perfect ..."; 62.) "Oh, my lord"; and 63.) "Manners maketh man."

favorite scenes: Church Fight scene

Fireworks scene.

audience reaction: The audience enjoyed this movie.  Some people gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

2nd audience reaction: This audience enjoyed the movie, too. Some people clapped their hands after the church fight ended. And, of course,  some people also gave this movie a "Hands Clapper" ending. 

recommendation: I liked this teen update on the British spy movies,  too. Go see this Action/Comedy movie.

spoiler alert! Why couldn't the guards have seen and heard the helicopter coming? One of the spies standing behind the seated terrorist could have easily kicked the chair down ( of course, in such a situation, it's hard to figure out how one will react ). When the bad guy's trigger finger was shot off, he could have switched to his middle finger. There was not enough blood when the man was cleaved by the super-sharp blade. That car couldn't have gone fast while in reverse gear. The pint of beer was inexplicably emptied too soon. There was enough force in that stun projectile to kill that man. Those artificial "feet" were made of smooth steel and would not have the traction necessary in the forefoot for running at top speed. Burgers and fries, what a way to make a first impression. Heck, if I were a young spy, I'd plaster my wall with Page 3 girls--'just sayin'! Why weren't there any young children during the church service---Duh! Killing billions, a few hundred million or even tens of millions would be very bad for the environment/ecology, just think about it. All of those bullets spraying from automatic rifles and not one of them hit their target---Yeah, right .... Why wasn't the toddler affected by the "killer frequency"? I felt sorry for the pub's owner; I hope that he had enough insurance to cover such repeated damages to his establishment.

fyi: "Global Warming" is a hoax!

>>>Dear Reader:

Christopher Booker of the UK Telegraph calls man-made global warming the “biggest science scandal ever,” and it’s easy to see why.

Recent studies have shown:

• Temperature data from NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies (GISS) was dramatically altered, and rather than showing a 1.5-degree Celsius increase from 1950 to 2014, the raw data actually showed a 1-degree Celsius temperature decrease over those 65 years.
• Two of the official data records for climate temperatures — Remote Sensing Systems (RSS) in California, and the University of Alabama in Huntsville (UAH) — have recorded 18 straight years of no temperature increases, and 2014, recently called the “warmest year ever” was, in fact, only the sixth warmest year since 1997.
• Arctic ice levels, it turns out, have nothing to do with alleged man-made global warming. The decrease in Artic ice is simply a byproduct of naturally occurring cyclical shifts in warm water currents. In fact, when the warm water currents last peaked 75 years ago, Arctic ice had retreated even further back than it has recently.

None of this is news to John Casey, who has been at the forefront of the movement calling man-made global warming a total hoax.

Casey, a former White House space program adviser, consultant to NASA headquarters, and space shuttle engineer, found evidence — buried right in the government’s own environmental studies — that destroys the argument for “global warming.”

Using their own data, John has proven that “global warming” is a sham backed by a network of politicians, corporations, and scientists conspiring to promote the fear of “global warming” . . . despite clear evidence that no such “global warming” exists.

Tom Luongo

Editor, Resolute Wealth Letter<<<

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The late "conspiracy theory" author, Bill Cooper ( who was executed two months after 9/11 for his knowledge about the truth behind the attack ), mentioned in his book, Behold A Pale Horse, that the late Philippine dictator, Ferdinand Marcos, was deposed when his "Family Planning is the Pillar of a New Society" campaign failed to stem the country's population growth. Bill Cooper claimed that there is a secret society that manipulates nations into going to war with each other to keep the world population in check. If that's the case, then we are long overdue for another "culling"!

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I have a hard time driving my car in reverse.

I had an expensive pair of Oxfords once ( which I only wore three times ). I had to give it to my younger brother when my feet grew from a size 8 1/2 to a size 9 1/2. No, it didn't conceal a weapon at all. It did, however, conceal heel lifts as it was actually a pair of Elevator Shoes! And my brother is in need of such a pair more than I do. Ha, ha, ha.

Gazelle ( Sofia Boutella ) is hot!

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What is it with European males' obsession with anal sex? I just don't get it. Don't they know anything about Karma?

word of advice: Better yourself.

tidbits: When I was paying for my purchase at the concessions counter, the couple next in line mentioned that they were there to see FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. I whispered to the cashier, Chick flick. That movie can wait.

The cashier laughed.

2nd tidbits: First order of the day was to have a STAR Smog Test done on my car. As it was being done, I walked a few yards to get to my chiropractor's clinic. But it was closed because today is a holiday,  Presidents' Day. But I double-checked two weeks ago to make sure that they would be open today.  The receptionist said, "Yes." That bitch lied. Anyway,  I went back to the smog center to use their Wi-Fi so that I could access the Internet with my 2005 Compaq Presario laptop. It took my computer a long time to boot-up. Heck, the smog test was done before I could even get on the Internet! My 2001 Hyundai Accent passed the test easily, by the way. 

After I dropped off some stuff at my place, I drove on over to the local CSAA to pay for my car's license and insurance.  But the place was also closed for the holiday.

So, I had plenty of time to catch this movie's first show matinée. I had to see it a second time because I liked it and also because I didn't take notes the first time that I watched it. 

I saw a casual friend at the theatre. DJ was there to see FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. I told him that there was some negative feedback posted online from that movie, and that he should go see Kingsman, instead.

After the movie, I went to Harbor Freight, on Solano Avenue, to buy a box of black nitrile gloves ( $11.99 + tax ) for use at work. Then, I went to Selecta Pilipino Buffet Restaurant on Springs Road for a late lunch.

As I was paying for my meal and for some lottery tickets ( $17.36 total ), in walked DJ. So, how was the movie, I asked.

"Oh, I fell asleep."

I told you it was bad.

"Was it really bad?" asked Rey, the proprietor.

I quipped, He fell asleep, didn't he?

We all laughed.

"The movie started at 11:30 a.m. I fell asleep. When I looked at my watch, it was already 1:00 p.m." said DJ. "It was full of teens. I'm glad I didn't snore."

"What's the movie about?" asked Rey, the proprietor.

"It's about teens having sex all the time, everywhere," said DJ. "It's the number one teen movie for Valentines' weekend."

And it's not even rated NC-17, I commented. 

"But I fell asleep," said DJ once more. "I just wasted seven bucks."

Hmm, I think that I'll go see this movie tomorrow--strictly for review purposes only ( yeah, right ... ). That reminds me, I'd better have a good night's sleep tonight! Ha, ha, ha.

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