CREEPY TALES OF PIZZA AND GORE ( 2014 )

I started to watch this pre-PLANdemic movie at predawn today, Sunday, December 1st, 2024 in bed 🛏️ via my cellphone's 🤳 TUBI Streaming App.

Scene Commentaries:

From: Letterboxd.com

Introduction:

When you're too lazy to rewind it by hand ...

or too cheap to buy a rewinder.  😒

And the customer got so pissed off at your lousy delivery service that it dealt with you in the dark because you were too lazy to take care of your skateboard to make it on time! 🛹 

Or maybe you were sent as

a sacrificial offering.

Screaming Ghost.  😱 

Frankly, I don't miss this!

And it's really not a good idea if an unknown file gave you quite a scare only for you to go back for more! 🤦‍♂️

I told you not to go back!

Now it's holding your head like

a Corn-on-the-Cob❗

This is a good movie that is 

worth expanding to a 

feature length.

Devil Of The Night. 😈

It's the 2nd skateboard 🛹 in this anthology. 🙄

I wonder if the 1st 🛹 also has

the same brand name.  🤔

'Just like in the 1st short, this one

has a pentacle, too!  😒

Oddly enough, I find this hooded, braless

bad guy with man-boobies kinda

visually appealing.   🙃

Hey, this bad guy was John 

Wick's tormentor before 

he became a bad-ass 

super assassin.

But if a spike is hammered into

your Eye Socket repeatedly,

you'd be dead❗

And this bad guy's hood must have

once belonged to Shallow 

Hal's girlfriend!

Alone In The House.  😬

Matching pillowcases for when you 

are sleeping with the enemy.

I'm not sure if it's just Acne or if

she's starting to have a

Liver Disease.

A shout-out to H. P. Lovecraft's

Miskatonic University?  🤷‍♂️

Correction: It's Sleeping With 

The Frenemy!  😃

Wood. 🪵 

A Dual-Shift, Dual-Clutch Car!  😉

Does she spit or does she swallow?

I guess the answer's obvious. 😏

Am I the only one who keeps a box cutter,

a knife, a machete and a club

in the car?  Gun Laws

suck  Big  Time!

A Shuriken will have to do!  🤨

Killer Tape. 📼 

Sexual Asphyxiation of 

the VHS Kind.  😜

You could call the 1st & the Last of these anthologies as a bookend pair. It's an amateurish movie that has some parts that would lend well to a better script and a bigger budget.  🤨

Tidbits:

I stopped by J&R Mini Mart and Gas to buy some lottery tickets before I went to Wendy's Restaurant to while the time away until I had to go do some grocery shopping.

I went to the Food-Maxx Grocery Store on the corner of Redwood & Tuolumne Streets. I haven't been inside this store in over 4 years! I just bought a bag of Pork Rind Cracklings and a bag of Coleslaw. Their self checkout lane was closed. They close it at 9:00 p.m.

I should just shop at the Neighborhood Wal-Mart late at night because their self checkouts close at 10-ish p.m.

I didn't walk as far today because the Wendy's coffee ☕ was telling my Bladder to start leaking if I don't finish my walk ASAP. 🚶‍♂️ I started dripping as soon as I got in my bathroom before I even had the chance to drop my pants! 🚽 Please don't ask me why I didn't go and do a Pee Stop when I was at Food-Maxx.  🤦‍♂️

5.54 kilometers 

5.33 km

The Pork Rind Cracklings doesn't taste that good by itself. 😕 I'll have to have it with a Vinegar/Minced Garlic/White Pepper/Ketchup dipping sauce next time.  😋

-------

You noticed how many short Asians have big heads, I'm sure! Well, here's The Reason for it: 😃

👉 https://greekreporter.com/2024/11/30/new-human-species-china/

Desertification project, The Great 🟢 Green Wall.

👇 https://www.facebook.com/gochengdu/videos/417865811340144/?mibextid=CDWPTG

The socialist experiment is backfiring 👌❗👍

👇 https://www.facebook.com/dan.bongino/videos/595617386336468/?mibextid=CDWPTG

👉 https://youtube.com/shorts/FR8BQx8oPx8?si=syRhOJlXhIJ-cmTu

About time they brought this 

iconic label back! 👍

Now, it's on to the Land

O Lakes label!

-------

Bombshell details were left out of the hunter laptop 💻 report❗🤬❗

👇 https://www.facebook.com/dan.bongino/videos/1854310492068858/?mibextid=CDWPTG

Pres. Trump is gonna outplay you

on this Pardoning Game,

brandon❗

😎

Jan. 6 political prisoners,

help is coming👌❗👍

👉 https://youtu.be/v8G08gBnI3I?si=Y07QU8EJSzTTAb78

👉 https://youtu.be/xDMBCAaIKwU?si=ghPKF07_GaqaqiAg

Honestly, though, I think that brandon is 

doing it to >Nuke-Spite<  his own party

for replacing him with  bj kammy!

brandon  turns  out  to  be  The 

Great Destroyer of his own

DEMON-cratic party❗

🇺🇲❗MA🦅GA❗🇺🇸

Yes, drain the DC Swamp❗

There's no reason to reauthorize the abuses on & the surveillance of US Citizens❗😡❗ 

👇 https://www.facebook.com/dan.bongino/videos/1238781657356465/?mibextid=CDWPTG

-------

Only in pima county, AIRheadzona❗🤬❗

The DEMON-cratic party is the evil

party of CHEATERS❗🖕❗

-------

On Pres. Trump's RESILIENCE❗😎❗

👉 https://youtube.com/shorts/85G6c4E3P4w?si=APnW-OcEA67aZMkG

Pres. Trump making fun of Donald Trump❗😃❗

👉 https://youtube.com/shorts/f_sPTuInY4M?si=VKdl8lKkwAKwB4Zw

Bernie Sanders turns MAGA for the Win❗👍

👉 https://youtu.be/RTiUU_RNcqw?si=MgYxge36nNCWyWkI

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Yes, they want you to eat Bugs!  Once most of 

the farmlands are sold off for the housing 

market, meat will become more scarce

and very expensive so that only the

Rich will be able to eat all of 

the Steaks  &  Lobsters!

Do not be fooled by

"climate change"!

It Is A Scam❗

Just like

💉😷

-------

Now that we're on the subject of Food 🤤....😋

👌🤤🥧😋👍

👌🤤🥗😋👍

Forget the dogs! I'm making

Spaghetti with this!

👌🤤🍝 😋👍

Granny Smith & Pippin Apples

would be perfect❗🍏 ❗

-------

👇👇👇 What they're hiding ... 👇👇👇

Peru got it right! 👍 

👉 https://youtube.com/shorts/11mWinGcCU0?si=vQwuhAhFYtS8QKw7

When conceiving became more like a game of Russian Roulette .... 😒

👇 https://www.facebook.com/olimaomega/videos/3549379992116490/?mibextid=CDWPTG

We'd hate to see you leave---NOT❗

-------

Border State ramps up Wall Construction in time for Pres. Trump's Presidential Inauguration. "Build it High, build it Wide, make it Electrified" 👌❗👍

👉 https://youtu.be/T35Esm41lJk?si=CigoV6IrlrvSVXY7

-------

chy-nah waits for Russia to weaken so they can reclaim what it gave away to Russia. Meanwhile, chy-nah preys on the militarily weak!  😠👎

👉 https://youtube.com/shorts/JVhrh_Dl488?si=99HxmEFVzQDMyFL8

-------

The problem with the koran.  🧐

👉 https://youtube.com/shorts/MJpYZ3rUL5E?si=Q5sVjuaPmF8LmUV5

The u.n. halts aid for gaza because of armed FAKEstenian looters!

👉 https://youtu.be/sMBuabEnQ6U?si=zjeVI0Omu8RYdfy2

Boots on the ground is needed to root out HAM👉Ass❗

👉 https://youtu.be/jPRjqiJsoPI?si=YuBzAF83P4x1zZSl

It's progressive to support 🇮🇱 Israel! 👌

👉 https://youtu.be/tYqe3JulRfw?si=73gKfdqZyRtCpL8h

The FAKEstenians & their pro-jihad supporters are not going to like this👌❗👍

-------

When you have to go to work but don't want to get out of bed! 🛏️ 

👉 https://youtube.com/shorts/UIoy8BqFwrc?si=PFurgcu3EDXddYe7

A ¼ Billion Dollar$' worth❓😲❓

It must've been one Heck of 

a One Night Stand❗

👌 😛  😝  😜 👍

"If I only had an ...."  🍑

👇 https://www.facebook.com/popologynetworks/videos/1272430957410897/?mibextid=CDWPTG

How to appear to be a psychic at a guessing game.  🧙‍♂️

👇 https://www.facebook.com/Greeneskinsgaming/videos/27387847030862749/?mibextid=CDWPTG

When they lose their heads ....

👇 https://www.facebook.com/TrumpTrainNewsMedia/videos/3836050463278991/?mibextid=NOb6eG

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the kid that I cannot change."  😔

👉 https://www.facebook.com/reel/1301223954564531?mibextid=9drbnH

The Legendary 9-Tail?  🤷‍♂️

👉 https://www.facebook.com/reel/925429849522061?mibextid=9drbnH

Nature-inspired Artworks. 👌📸👍

👉 https://www.facebook.com/reel/1064977945089703/?mibextid=CDWPTG

Five unattractive Hollywood stars.  😕

👉 https://www.facebook.com/reel/571355705568420?mibextid=9drbnH

And the 5 Beauties who turned themselves into hideous Beasts!  😕

👉 https://www.facebook.com/reel/1532020584137135?mibextid=9drbnH

-------

Here are yesterday's 24-Hour Le Cine-Man's Race winners:

And here are today's 24-Hour Le Cine-Man's Race winners. Drumroll 🥁 please ....

Congratulations to Singapore for 

winning in 1st place!

🎉🎇🏆🎆🎊

🇸🇬🥇🇸🇬

❗❗

🍾

Congratulations to the USA for 

winning in 2nd place!

🇺🇸🥈🇺🇲

❗❗

Congratulations to Hong Kong for 

winning in 3rd place!

🇭🇰🥉🇭🇰

❗❗

And congratulations to Germany 

for winning in 4th place!

🇩🇪🏅🇩🇪

❗❗

❗

Thanks to the countries that participated in today's 24-Hour Race to the Finish! 🏁          🛣️          🏎️

*

NINJA ASSASSIN, R ( 1 hr & 39 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Wednesday, November 25th, 2009
show: 2:25 p.m.
costs: $7.25 Ticket + $7.56 all-you-can-eat Pizza and Salad lunch at Mountain Mike's Pizzeria = $14.81
auditorium: 11
seat: 4th row, 9th column

synopsis: An orphan, Raizo ( Rain ), is taken-in by a ninja clan, the Ozunu, and taught the ways of the assassin. When his friend and fellow assassin-in-training, Kiriko ( Anna Sawai ) is executed by his clan, he begins to question his upbringing. And when he is chosen to execute another deserter, he betrays his master, Lord Ozunu ( Sho Kosugi ). From that point on, he makes it his sworn duty to destroy the clan or die trying.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The black sand; 2.) One hundred pounds of gold; 3.) Laundromat; 4.) The orphans; 5.) The salve; 6.) The Sabatin residence; 7.) Real pain; 8.) Nine Clans of Black Sand; 9.) The heart; 10.) Blindfolded; 11.) Kiriko's refusal; 12.) Taebo class; 13.) The execution; 14.) The gold watch; 15.) The betrayal; 16.) Size 34; 17.) The set-up; 18.) Boy band; 19.) The attack; 20.) The chase; 21.) The motel; 22.) Tracking device; 23.) The mudras; 24.) The device revealed; 25.) The surprise attack; 26. ) The "father" and "son" fight; and 27.) The anatomical anomaly.

audience reaction: There were a few laughs here and there. I guess the audience was entertained by this movie.

recommendation: This is a highly-stylized "slice and dice" movie that appeals to people who are fans of the genre. If this describes you, go see this movie.

spoiler alert! The lead character is played by a Korean. Why couldn't they have used a Japanese instead? How did Raizo make it past the airport metal detectors and x-ray machines with all his bladed weaponry? Why were Raizo and Kiriko always the only ones who woke up in the middle of the night while the other ninjas-in-training were deep asleep and oblivious to that fact? The only way that blood could come out of a washer or dryer is if the door is ajar--but such machines were designed not to operate when the door isn't closed properly. I guess with Raizo and Kiriko out of the picture, the other ninjas-in-training had better nights' sleep. Why didn't the "gold watch" guy use the dagger he held in his hand against Raizo? Somebody called and tipped-off Raizo to Mika's ( Naomie Harris ) whereabouts but it wasn't revealed who the mysterious caller was. For assassins who are trained in the use of the shuriken, such experts sure missed their intended target, Raizo, a whole lot! How come these ninjas didn't use smoke bombs, blowguns and throwing spikes? When Raizo pulled the shuriken and dropped it unto the car's floor, it sounded like it hit concrete! Why didn't anybody notice the shuriken-studded car parked in the motel parking lot? The ninjas were made to move unbelievably fast. Blood doesn't glow in the dark. As a SWAT team member moved across the screen from right to left in the Ozunu compound, a ninja jumped down unto the fountain in the background and struck or threw something at the SWAT guy, but the SWAT guy just kept on moving without so much as a flinch from him as his blood splashed out from the right side of his body. I guess this particular bit player doesn't understand a word of English and missed his cue! I guess only ninja lords have samurai swords that can easily cut through chain. The sword penetrated Mika's thoracic cavity, puncturing the pleura and the left lung which would have led to fluid build-up in the lung and cavity, not to mention a collapsed lung. So ... Mika should have had a hard time breathing and, not only that, she should also have been coughing-up blood--they should have consulted with Cine-Man on this anatomical matter first! When Raizo decided to climb up the wall, it looked too convenient for the bullet holes to be where they were at. I get the impression that ninjas are like cockroaches because as soon as you turn on the lights they go scurrying away a.s.a.p!

I can't believe they spent millions on this movie without hiring the services of Cine-Man to make it more believable.

Where's "Grasshopper" when you need him?

fyi: This movie is produced by the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who are famous for their MATRIX trilogy. According to the rumor mill, Larry had a sex change operation and is now going by the name of Lana. If this is true, then they should be called the Wachowski brother AND "sister"!

How odd that they should use glass Pepsi bottles in Berlin.

The good news about this movie is that they didn't use a white guy to play the part of the great ninja, a Hollywood cliche that thankfully had finally been beaten to death by none other than the late Chris Farley himself in, BEVERLY HILLS NINJA ( 1997 ).

word of advice: Don't teach anybody everything you know until after that person has proven himself/herself worthy, capable and LOYAL.

If you know of a Mountain Mike's Pizzeria and you want to take REAL advantage of their all-you-can-eat pizza and salad, go to their Wednesday night dinner buffet and show-up about thirty minutes before closing time. Act nicely and well-behaved but take your time eating so that after the restaurant closes, and you're still there, they will give you pizza slices to take home for free because it's either that or they will just end-up throwing it all away--and you know those guys are sick and tired of eating pizza every single day at work!

tidbits: After the ending credits, as I made my way towards the exit, I noticed an old Japanese couple seated in the row behind mine. O0ohhh--must be an old ninja!

Nikki, one of my co-workers here in Benicia, CA looks like Anna Sawai.

I decided not to go to either Fairfield or Vacaville just to see this movie. Consequently, I didn't buy a spool of 50-pack CD-R discs. Maybe next time.