where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when: Sunday, October 23rd, 2011
show: 9:50 p.m.
costs: $15.00 Ticket + $4.75 small Zero Coke + $1.00 3.1 oz. Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Bites ( bought at a dollar store and smuggled-in ) = $20.75
auditorium: 5
seat: 4th row, 6th column
synopsis/overview: Thank God for the Country Boy! Hey, there. Hi, there. Ho, there. You're as welcome as can be. M-u-s, k-e-t, e-e-r to be! Musketeers! Cardinal! Musketeers! Cardinal! Forever let us wield our sabers high! High! high! high! Opps! sorry. I got a little carried away. Anyway ....
A young man, D'Artagnan ( Logan Lerman ), the son of a former Musketeer, goes to Paris to fulfill his dream of becoming one of the King's elite guards, The Musketeers. He soon meets and befriends three of the best swordsmen in service to the King, Musketeers, themselves. When they learn that Cardinal Richelieu ( Christopher Waltz ) is plotting to overthrow the young King Louis XIII ( Freddie Fox ) and crown himself as France's new king, D'Artagnan and the three Musketeers join forces to prevent it from happening.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) Diorama; 2.) "You could have said, 'Hello'"; 3.) Key; 4.) "I have 10 minutes"; 5.) "Catching you"; 6.) Leonardo da Vinci's secret vault; 7.) "Better offer"; 8.) "Your adversary will not always be as noble as you"; 9.) "Apologize to my horse"; 10. ) Challenges; 11.) Citation; 12.) "He built it"; 13.) Introductions; 14.) "Budget cuts"; 15.) Sword fight; 16.) "He insulted my horse"; 17.) "Cold and unfriendly"; 18.) Balcony; 19.) New clothes and gold; 20.) Air ship; 21.) "Very retro"; 22.) "An evening that I shall cherish forever"; 23.) Struck bell; 24.) "I have a lot of plans"; 25.) Hypothetical friend; 26.) The Queen Anne's ( Juno Temple ) jewels; 27.) Insurance policy; 28.) Purple; 29.) Love letters; 30.) Sealed with a kiss; 31.) "We were taken by surprise"; 32.) Diversion; 33.) Strategies; 34.) "The game is afoot"; 35.) "Permission to come aboard"; 36.) Good news; 37.) "The only person she trusts"; 38.) "On her own terms"; 39.) Fountain; 40.) The new and improved battleship; 41.) The exchange; 42.) Into the storm; 43.) "Round two"; 44.) "You should have apologized to my horse"; 45.) Crash-landing; 46.) "I could use men like you"; 47.) "All for one, one for all"; and 48.) British armada.
favorite scenes: I liked the Opening Diorama scene.
I liked the Four Against Forty Sword Fight scene.
I liked the New Clothes and Gold scene.
I liked how they tried and upstaged each other with the latest in fashion color.
audience reaction: There were only six or fewer persons in the auditorium with me. And I didn't hear even one reaction from any one of them.
recommendation: The sword fights were very well-choreographed. But the techno gadgets spoiled it for me. Because of it, I'd say that this movie is so-so .... See it only if you're a die-hard Musketeers fan. And don't waste your money on the 3-D version.
spoiler alert! Firstly, a musketeer is actually an infantryman equipped with a musket. So, why were these guys going around with swords in hand? Secondly, why were there no infantrymen utilized to best advantage in the Musketeers' courtyard fight against the Cardinal's guards? That sword sure broke in half so easily! I don't think that they had pearly-white teeth and fresh breath back then--heck, they didn't even take a daily bath/shower! After all that talk about not trusting women, the Duke of Buckingham ( Orlando Bloom ) still paid no attention to his own advice. Did you notice all the unlit candle chandeliers in that one hallway alone? It would take All Night for some poor bastard to light all the candles in that castle! The queen's jewels were guarded by high-tech "lasers"? WTF?!?!?! She had a chance to jump out of the carriage and escape abduction. When D'Artagnan fell down in the rooftop duel, Rochefort ( Mads Mikkelsen ) could have easily struck him on his shins! How did Constance ( Gabriella Wilde ), all clean and in a different set of clothes, get to the castle before the airship did ( This is called, A logic hole. )? "I could use men like you"--Hah! fat chance of that ever happening since they liked serving the young, cute, funny and inexperienced French King who was fun to hang around with! I don't know how Milady de Winter ( Milla Jovovich ) fell into the sea from such an height and survived--people have fallen into the sea from a shorter distance ( think Golden Gate Bridge ) and died! Folks, Seawater can be like a solid wall if you Free-fall and hit it with such Terminal Velocity--I'm talking Death through Blunt Force Trauma! How was the Duke able to mobilize the Royal Navy at such a short notice, and did he get permission from the King of England to do so?
fyi: Here's a bit of trivia for you .... One theory goes that the Butterfly Knife ( i.e. Balisong to us Pilipinos ) was actually invented by the French in the late 1600s and was introduced by French sailors to the Philippines in the 1700s. I don't know whether or not this theory is true. ( But it's on the Internet so it must be true. Whatever .... )
word of advice: Good friends are hard to come by.
tidbits: Hours before going to see this movie, I was on the Internet blogging and surfing when I heard the voice of one of my neighbors. He was clearly angry with someone. And he was dropping the "F" bomb in every sentence as pronoun, noun, verb, adjective, preposition, interjection, etc. Such a colorful language, he used! I think that I'm learning new English grammar usage from him, the impressionable non-native speaker that I am. Ha, ha, ha. ( This "old dog" is still capable of learning new tricks, as it turns out. )
After the movie, I stopped at the Fairfield, CA, Super Wal-Mart to see if someone I know was there. Supposedly, he works there now. But I've stopped by at least ten times now and I have yet to see him there. So, I don't know what's going on with him. But, Good Luck to him, whatever it is that he's currently doing with his life.
On my way home from the theatre, at 1:42 a.m., Monday, October 24th, I saw a Vallejo Police patrol car make a left turn at a neighborhood cross-street without even stopping at the stop-signed intersection! How can you trust the police if they abuse their authority and ignore traffic laws?
Had I hit that patrol car, guess who'd be at fault when it would all boil down to his word against mine and there were no witnesses around? Yup, exactly ....
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