AUTOBlogIOGRAPHY OF A YOGA-INITIATE

MAHAVATAR BABAJI MAHARAJ

NAMASTE

My life, for the most part, has not been mundane. I have had experiences with the paranormal for as far back as I can remember. Even to this day, I get intermittent "reminders" from the "other side" just to let me know that I should neither forget nor neglect the other part of me. So, I embarked on a personal quest to try and find a way to reconnect with my other self.

About 10 years ago, I watched this TV program about an author of a book on Hindu mysticism. Interested in knowing what he had to say, I went to a book store and ordered a copy of his book. His book referenced the tome, AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A YOGI, by Paramahansa Yogananda. Having heard of this literary marvel before, I decided to other a copy of it, too, about five years after I had read the first book. As I read through Yogananda's book, I got the impression that the yoga that he espoused, Kriya Yoga, held the key to unlocking the mysterious reason for the supernatural experiences of my life.

There are many different kinds of yoga. If one decided to master every single kind of yoga, it would take that person the whole of Eternity to do so, according to one author. But of all the yogas known and unknown to Man, only one stands supreme: Kriya Yoga, given to mankind by Lord Shiva, Himself. It is claimed that through mastery of this Yoga, any one can attain complete spiritual evolution in one lifetime what normally would take many reincarnations to achieve. The man who became a true master of this particular yoga is commonly known as Babaji, the Immortal or Deathless Guru. Babaji consigned his being to a physical body in order to guide generations of Truth-seekers on the path of spiritual liberation and God-union. He is supposedly thousands of years old. At one time, his most adept disciple was Sri Lahiri Mahasaya, one of whose disciples was Sri Yukteswar, the guru of Paramahansa Yogananda. And it was Yogananda, himself, who introduced Babaji to the West. And Yogananda's brother-disciple was the guru of my yogi's guru.

Although Yoga is associated with Hinduism, it is not a religion! Kriya Yoga is a science of self-realization. Anyone who does Kriya Yoga with discipline and dedication can expect to have the same results, just as past generations have proven so. And the science of Kriya Yoga has always stood the test/scrutiny of Time. Although Kriya Yoga is easy enough to learn--it can be learned in one day--it takes a whole lifetime of dedicated practice to truly master it!

And while we are on the subject of Hinduism, it is interesting to note how much it shares striking similarities with Christianity. To wit:

Brahma = God, the Father

Vishnu = God, the Son

Shiva = God, the Holy Spirit

We live in a physical universe which is the dream-state of Brahma. When Brahma wakes up, the physical universe will end. God, the Father, went to rest on the Seventh Day. When God, the Father, returns, it will be to pass the Final Judgment. Vishnu is the Preserver God. Those who accept God, the Son, will not die the Eternal Death. Shiva is the Destroyer God. Anyone who commits "the one unpardonable sin of blasphemy" against God, the Holy Spirit, will suffer Death and Eternal Damnation. Hindus have their divine archetypes, Christians have their saints. And, interestingly enough, devout Hindus worship Jesus Christ, too, as one of their Avatars--specifically, as the incarnation of Vishnu. Kriya Yoga is concerned with the spiritual aspect of Hinduism, not its religious aspect: Spirituality and Religion are not one and the same; they are as different from each other as night is from day. Hinduism is at least 10,000 years old--probably much older than that. It is older than Judaism, Christianity and Islam, combined! And because of its advanced age, it can be readily quoted as THE authority on spiritual matters. Interestingly enough, the "unpronounceable name of God" ( YHWH ), as mentioned in the Bible is composed of the consonant letters that form the actual Name of the Hindus' Triune God, spelled backwards! Are these all coincidences or not? You be the judge.

With a resolute mind, I decided that I should be initiated into Yogananda's Yoga society, Self-Realization Fellowship ( SRF, for short ) in the Los Angeles, California area. I sent-in my application for initiation, confident that I would be accepted without hesitation because of my life-long paranormal experiences and because of the Vibhutis ( paranormal powers ) that I acquired along the way. But my hope was immediately dashed to pieces when my application form was sent back REJECTED! And to add insult to injury, I soon learned from perusing a book at K-Mart in Fairfield, California, that Elvis Presley, himself, with his "Hollywood lifestyle" of sex, drugs, rock 'n roll, gluttony and alcohol--became a Kriyaban initiate through the auspices of SRF, itself! ( Elvis even went so far as to suggest that he should be made president of SRF--such gall! )

Dejected, I soon cast away any thought of becoming a Kriyaban as I concentrated on my Chakra ( Energy center of the body; the seven major ones are on the Central Nervous System) sound meditations, instead. As a result, I acquired yet another Vibhuti: Altered Breaths. When people think of breathing, they think of only two: Inhale and Exhale. But my Chakra meditations awakened something in me which enabled me to experience a sum total of 14 different kinds of breaths, on top of the two previously-mentioned breaths!

But I know that Vibhutis are just "side-shows" along the way on the road to spiritual enlightenment. Vibhutis, in an unenlightened person, is a trap that shackles one in the tight grip of his/her own Ego's Vanity and sense of Self-Worth. In short, paranormal powers have nothing to do with spirituality. I must de-emphasize my Vibhutis in order to cultivate my own spirituality; otherwise, I will have no control over them.

By sheer chance last year, I came across the website of a yogi who teaches Kriya Yoga here in the Bay Area, approximately 49 miles from where I live. But it was already too late in the year to request a 1st Stage initiation. So, I patiently/impatiently waited until March of this year to e-mail the yogi, requesting 1st Stage initiation into Kriya Yoga. I sent-in my application with curtailed enthusiasm this time around, not expecting anything positive from it; after all, I was already rejected once before, as mentioned above, and was "just waiting for the other shoe to drop"!

But I was accepted! Finally, after five more years! What a wonderful surprise it was! My initiation was set for the weekend of the 24th and 25th of April, 2010. I counted down the days with 'bated breath! Soon, it was time ....

MY 1ST-STAGE INITIATION

Saturday, April 24th: I woke up early at around 6:00 a.m. since the initiation was to commence at 10:00 a.m. sharp. I had been informed via e-mail that I am to bring some fruits and flowers for the Homa ( sacrificial altar ). The night before, I bought some fruits at the Benicia Safeway: 5 Opal apples ( really delicious new variety ), 5 Cara Cara oranges ( better than Navel or Valencia oranges ) and a pack of sweet Dole strawberries. ( Yogananda mentioned strawberries twice in his book. ) These are symbolic offerings, by the way: I waited five years after I bought the book on Hindu mysticism before I requested initiation into Kriya Yoga. And I waited another five years before I was able to apply once again. The three kinds of fruits mean, "Yes." As in, I was finally accepted as an initiate. ( In occult and supernatural circles, 2 means "No" while 3 means "Yes". ) And I am now entering a new, better and sweet phase of my life through Kriya Yoga. But I still needed to buy some flowers. So, before hitting the road, I swung by the Admiral Callahan Way Safeway store here in Vallejo, CA, to buy a bouquet of flowers. I chose to buy the "California Dreaming" bouquet, again, for its symbolic meaning: I live in Brahma's dream-state here in California. Then, it was off to Union City, I went.

Upon exiting on Alvarado-Niles Road, the Cine-Man in me noticed the Century Cinemas sign right away. I have to check this place out on my way home tonight, I said to myself. I got to my destination 30 minutes early! ( And this is coming from a guy who's always two minutes late for work. )

His son opened the door for me, and I sat on the couch in the living room/initiation room hoping and waiting for others to come and join me. Just before 10:00 a.m., two other parties arrived for the initiation ceremony. We were six in all, in my group. There I was with my grocery bags of fruits while the rest came with token offerings of fruit in ziplock bags! And I had a big bouquet of flowers while they, again, had theirs in ziplock bags! Did I miss something ...? Presently, the yogi came in and told everyone to leave their shoes outside on the doorsteps. Ahh! I was the only one who had shoes on IN the initiation area. Opps! my bad .... And everyone, as soon as they came into the initiation area, bowed before the Homa altar which had a portrait of Babaji and Satguru Yogiraj Gurunath Siddhanath right above it. So, I bowed down, after everyone else had done so, before the altar--better late than never. For some strange reason, they had me closest to the sacrificial altar which was just approximately a yardstick away from me. Hmm, I wonder why they had me so close to the altar.

Then, it was get-to-know-each-other time. I found myself in a room full of doctors, engineers and PhDs, and all of them were from India. But there were no lawyers in sight, I guess that was a good sign. Yeah, I'm a PhD, too ( Put High and Dry like a "sore thumb" for everyone else to take notice of li'l old me. L o l! )

After the yogi, himself, bowed and prostrated before the altar, we did our initiation chant. Repeatedly, I might add, as we held our sacrificial offerings in our hands in a modified Namaste ( palms together gesture of reverence ). And my offerings were getting heavier by the second! Finally, the yogi motioned for me to be the first to offer-up my fruits and flowers--I'll have ziplock bags handy next time around!

After the offerings, the yogi had us all sit down on the floor as he talked about Kriya Yoga. And I couldn't help but notice how he was seated in the Full Lotus pose all this time whereas I couldn't even properly cross my legs, and my knees and ankles were crying out for mercy after just a few minutes! Ouch ....

At around 1:15 p.m., the yogi excused us all for lunch and told us to be back in an hour. Before we left, I asked if there were any kind of diet restrictions for yogis. He told me to eat whatever my body wants me to eat. But to be mindful of portion size ( he must have sensed my alter ego: Pig-Out Man ). He also said that fish and chicken are best since they're not highly evolved creatures and don't carry enough Karma in them. He told us all that we suffer enough through our own Karmas and don't need to absorb more Karma from animals. No wonder Jesus Christ recruited mostly poor fishermen as His own Apostles since fish was pretty much all they could afford to eat on a daily basis and why he fed them and the crowds with fish, I thought to myself. Anyway, we had to leave for lunch since the yogi had private correspondence to attend to. What ...? No fruit salad? I thought we were gonna feast on fruits for lunch. But I was wrong.

Anyway, I decided that I should swing by the shopping center to check-out the local Century Cinemas. But instead of turning left at the intersection, I made a mistake and took a right turn, instead. I might as well explore the immediate neighborhood, I thought. When I came to the intersection of Smith Street and Union City Boulevard, I turned left, then I did a U-turn at the next light and chanced upon U. C. Deli. I decided to have lunch here and picked Lemon Grass Chicken on Rice and a bottle of VitaminWater Energy drink ( 'Noticed the symbolisms here, too?). I still had over half an hour left on my lunch. So I made a bee-line for the shopping center. The theatre was Century 25 Cinemas--I have always wanted to come check out this place! And there I was. I parked my car and went inside to see the movie listings. THE LOSERS and THE BACK-UP PLAN were the ones that I haven't seen yet. And there was no way in Hell--or Heaven, for that matter--that I was gonna see a J-Lo "chick flick" on the weekend of my yoga initiation! No way, Jose. So I noted down the show schedule for THE LOSERS so I could be there on time after my day's session was over.

After lunch ( and I was the first one back from lunch ), the yogi talked about the Third Eye. And I mentioned that on January 3rd of last year, early in the morning, my Third Eye finally opened--but just once--as I recited the Zhunti ( a.k.a. Million ) Mantra after having finished my Chakra sound meditation. Supposedly, the Zhunti ( pronounced: June-tea ) Mantra is the fastest route to enlightenment. If you recite it for at least a million times, you'll become enlightened, according to Taoist tradition. And my Third Eye opened after I recited the mantra for a sum total of approximately 190,000 times ( after over six months of daily recitations ). Everybody was all ears because I was the only student-initiate there whose Third Eye was already opened. I told the yogi that I want to learn Kriya Yoga so I can open my Third Eye readily. And he said that I will learn the techniques for doing so.

We did some Kriya Yoga techniques.

And after all our lunch was properly digested, we did some stretching exercises. One of which was the "Leaning Tree." As I leaned to my left, I almost lost my balance. Had I lost my balance, I would have fallen, head-first, into the sacrificial fire! Maybe the old man on my right side slightly nudged me since he didn't bring any sacrificial offering, 'though his wife did. I would have been the first human sacrifice offered-up at a Kriya Yoga altar. Usually, a yogi is cremated AFTER he has entered into MAHA SAMADHI ( Supreme enlightenment and God-union ) but not while he is still a "know-nothing" initiate! I felt like the recurrent "New Guy" characters in those old STAR TREK television episodes who always managed to get themselves killed-off before the show was over, you know ... the expendable type. No wonder they kept me close to the Homa!

Finally, it was time to leave for the day. And I had plenty of time to catch the 6:50 p.m. showing of THE LOSERS. After the movie, I walked around the shopping center for a bit before I decided to have dinner at La Salsa Restaurant. I ordered Carnitas California Burrito ( the symbolism here is that among Jews, Christians and Muslims, only Christians eat Pork! ).

On my way back to my car, which I parked in the Tony Roma Restaurant parking lot, a well-dressed short lady begged me for money for her hungry daughter. I was gonna blow her off, but I had just gotten out of a yoga initiation and the lady looked to be from India. And I asked myself, Could this be just a divine Lila ( A divine being role-playing with a human to see if said human is worthy of a blessing ). I decided to give her money, but instead of just giving her a dollar bill, I decided to give her a five-spot, just in case.

When I got home and put myself in bed for the evening, the initiation chant kept repeating itself over and over in my head. And it kept doing so until I fell asleep.

Sunday, April 25th: I woke up to the sound of the initiation chant still playing in my head! It was as if somebody had left it on all ... night ... long .... I decided to leave a little later because I didn't want to be the first one to arrive for the session--I didn't want to seem over-eager because of what it got me the last time: Rejection!

When I got there, again, I was the first to arrive, even though I live the farthest. Everyone else is from the local area. O Lord, I said as his son opened the door for me. I brought my beach chair because it is easier to sit cross-legged on the floor while sitting in such a chair. Another fellow student-initiate had the same idea in mind.

Once everyone was present, I mentioned that the initiation chant played over and over in my head as I went to bed the night before and even after I got out of bed today. Then, the yogi had everyone of us do an impromptu initiation chant repeatedly. Oh, great ... me and my big mouth. This chant is gonna play over and over again in my head when I get home tonight, I said to myself--and I have to be at work the following day at 2:00 a.m. sharp ( Yes! you read that right. ).

As the yogi demonstrated more Kriya Yoga techniques, I became accustomed to seeing him roll-up his eyeballs so that the irises are no longer visible. All you could see are the whites of his eyes wide open--neat! I have to learn this technique by next Halloween so when the little brats come-a-knocking at my door for treats, I'll hold up big expensive, imported candies and pull this trick on them. They'll have nightmares for life and will never come bothering me again! Bwa, ha, ha, ha--snort! But I digress ....

Soon, the yogi talked about how a certain mantra, the Gayatri mantra, is so powerful that anyone given the "key" to unlock this mantra can perform miracles, and can even go so far as to raise a person back from the dead or kill another by its simple utterance. So the yogi and my fellow student-initiates started talking back and forth and using some Sanskrit words that seem familiar to me. I interrupted them to ask the yogi if the Gayatri mantra is the one that goes, "Aum Bhoor Bhuva Swaha ...", as I recited the whole mantra for everyone while my fellow student-initiates were nodding their heads in acknowledgement. "Yes," said the yogi, "but I want you to stop using it." How come? I asked. "You're not pronouncing it right," was his answer. "Learn Sanskrit first so you can say it correctly," he added. I don't know why this can't be like the Zhunti mantra that gives one merit even if it's solely based on the person's effort. I already do nine other mantras a day, and I only add the Gayatri mantra whenever I have to go on a long trip, otherwise I won't have enough time in the day for it. And I told the yogi that I used this mantra while commuting to and from the place of initiation. My thinking is that since Babaji gave his disciples the permission to disseminate Kriya Yoga all over the world, then it should be expected that certain words will not be pronounced properly and that Babaji had already planned certain mediations for such an oral contingency.

For the second day in a row, there was no fruit salad for us as the assorted fruits just sat there ripening at the altar. For lunch, I went to Lucky's Supermarket and bought a chicken ( cobb? ) salad and a SoBe Lifewater Goji-Melon. And I drove back to Cesar Chavez Park to eat my lunch under the shade of a tree. I took some pictures of the surrounding area just to while the time away and to use-up my 35 mm film. Again, I was the first one back from lunch.

Later on, the yogi talked about how we should balance our Shakti ( Prana-energy work ) with our Bhakti ( Devotional hymn offering ) because energy work, as in Kriya Yoga, heats-up the body and a devotional hymn cools the body down so the person doesn't burn-up ( By burn-up, I hope he doesn't mean "spontaneous human combustion!" ). So the class had to learn a Bhakti. Great ... more foreign words for me to memorize, and to mis-pronounce.

Then, it was time for more stretching exercises. I always thought that Kriya Yoga was all about concentration, meditation and breathing techniques. But, apparently, someone failed to mention to me that we have to do stretching exercises, too. Years ago when I was doing martial arts, I could do leg splits, touch my forehead to my knees and clasp my hands behind my back. But I let all that go as I became Pig-Out Man with a mini potbelly. As we did the stretches, only one thought was foremost in my mind: Please don't fart or Lord Shiva, the Destroyer God, will be offended by the sacrilegious, albeit unintentional, act and consume me in flames. And, once again, I was the closest one to the sacrificial altar. Do these people from India know what I don't know? Some of the stretching exercises hurt the bottom of my feet so bad that it felt like somebody whacked the sole of my right foot with a baseball bat and the sole of my left foot with a thick rod. My legs felt shaky as I stood up and tried to keep from falling over because of the intense pain. But the pain eventually disappeared, taking with it the ankle pain in my right foot and most of the heel pain in my left foot that have plagued me for about two years now. Could I have been given, for my efforts, a Darshan ( Divine Blessing )?

It was almost 7:00 p.m. when the yogi gave me permission to leave ahead of the class since I live the farthest. And I thanked him because I had to be at work by 2:00 a.m. of the following day to work the frozen section. On the way home, and just before I got to the freeway, I decided to swing by the local Burger King to have a burger--my mind told me to eat beef. After my meal, I called my brother on my cell phone to tell him that I was now a yoga initiate.

Well, that's about it for my 1st-Stage initiation. Of course, I purposely left-out the specific Kriya techniques because I was sworn to secrecy. Now, all I have to do is practice and practice some more. There is a group practice scheduled for the 29th of May. We shall see how that one goes. These last two days have made me more aware of something more important than Kriya Yoga: I need to seriously lose weight! So now I pray to Lord Shiva, Lord Babaji and Sri Lahiri Mahasaya to help me lose weight so I can do my Kriya Yoga correctly.

I will wait at least another year before I apply for 2nd-Stage initiation. This should give me enough time to lose weight and work on my technique.

Om Shanti

THE LOSERS, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 38 min )

where: CENTURY 25 UNION LANDING & XD in Union City, CA

when: Saturday, April 24th, 2010

show: 6:50 p.m.

costs: $11.00 Ticket + $5.25 medium Popcorn + $4.25 medium + $10.04 dinner at La Salsa Restaurant ( after the movie ) + $4.00 Bridge Toll = $34.54

auditorium: 25

seat: 5th row, 12th column

synopsis: While on a secret mission in the jungle of Bolivia, an elite commando team is double-crossed and presumed killed in action. They join forces with a mysterious femme fatale , with her own personal agenda, and go back States-side to even the score.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Target locked; 2.) School bus; 3.) Helicopter; 4.) Cock-fight; 5.) Hotel room; 6.) Cemetery; 7.) "Hit him in the face" nod; 8.) Coffins; 9.) Snuke; 10.) Umbrella girl; 11.) "Dead can't sh-t"; 12.) Ford Pinto; 13.) Doughnut; 14.) Goliath hard drive; 15.) Bolivia situation; 16.) Apology; 17.) Elevator; 18.) "Dangerous telekinetic"; 19.) Chryon; 20.) Private trust account; 21.) Secret identity; 22.) "Who wants to be a billionaire"; 23.) Five; 24.) Infiltration; 25.) CIA cash stash; 26.) Four snukes and a Ducati motorcycle; 27.) "Payback's a bitch"; 28.) "Light the firecracker"; 29.) "Stupid Question Day"; 30.) "Yo mama's a pirate"; 31.) "Giant vibrating egg from Hell"; 32.) Duct tape; 33.) Bus; 34.) Traffic; and 35.) Bonus scene.

audience reaction: The audience enjoyed this movie.

recommendation: I liked this movie enough to give it a good recommendation. Its appeal lies in the fact that it doesn't take itself too seriously. They're just out to have fun--and kill the bad guys while they're at it!

spoiler alert! When the school bus crashed, all of the kids should have flown to the front, if not through the windshield. The fat guy could have easily pulled him off the building, too--I know I would have if someone was throwing me off the roof. If the plane's cargo hold, where I presume the coffins were kept, was not climate-controlled, the five "cadavers" would have died of hyperthermia! How did Aisha ( Zoe Saldana ) get the coffins through customs? The coffin straps got sliced-off too easily. Snuke! how cute is that for such a deadly weapon? Why did he kill the secretary? ( What a waste of beauty! ) How come the cops didn't track or follow the helicopter? Why wasn't the computer fire-walled after the hard drive theft? Jensen's ( Chris Evans ) blood would be easily identified by the FBI and/or the CIA. I'm surprised that the guard dogs didn't hear them sneaking around since German Shepherds, as a breed, have the keenest sense of hearing among all dogs--I know this based on experience with a police dog ( a story for another time, perhaps ). So, that's how super-models fire an RPG--sexy-hot but highly impractical! The leg bandage didn't have any blood on it. Clay ( Jeffrey Dean Morgan ) could have easily disabled the plane by throwing his empty pistol into the jet intake. Pooch ( Columbus Short ) could still run okay even with the not-yet-healed leg wound.

fyi: The first European colony in what was later to become the United States was not at Plymouth Rock, Massachusetts. Almost half a century prior to this event, the Spaniards settled a colony in Southern California. They brought with them quite a number of Moros ( a Philippine sea-faring tribe skilled in ship-building ) to work as laborers in the Manila-Acapulco Galleon trade route as well as to live and work alongside the Mexicans in building galleons for the Spanish. Although most of the galleons were built in the Philippines, more than half a dozen were built in Acapulco, Mexico. The Moros brought with them coconuts, mangoes, papayas, tamarinds, chickens, and the art of making the coconut wine called, Tuba ( Pronounced: Too-ba; Spanish for, Tube, since coconut sap is traditionally collected in makeshift bamboo tubes ). The Moros eventually took for themselves Mexican wives as they lived in the settlement over-looking present-day Moro Bay, so-named in their honor.

The Mexicans and the Filipinos have many cultural similarities because the Spaniards brought them together to inter-mingle, inter-marry, and to assimilate each other's customs and traditions. The Kastilas ( i.e. Spaniards ) in the Philippines were mostly of Mexican descent.

How do all these tie-in with the movie? Cock-fighting was introduced into the Americas by the Moros. In the Philippines, we call this sport, Sabong.

word of advice: Don't betray your own men.

tidbits: Today, I became initiated as a 1st Stage Kriyaban of Yoga. If I do things right, and if I pass all three stages, then I can rightfully call myself a full-pledge Yogi. How cool is that!

That's the good news. Now, for the bad news ....

As a Kriyaban Yoga initiate, most of my free time from now on will be centered in my spiritual cultivation. In other words, I won't have much time to do movie blogs from now on. I will only have time, at the most, for one movie blog per week. So, I will only blog about whichever one is at number one or two at the Box Office for each week, henceforth. Sorry to disappoint ... but a Yogi has got to do what a Yogi needs to do: Practice spiritual cultivation.

Ohm Shanti.

DEATH AT A FUNERAL, R ( 1 hr & 30 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Saturday, April 17th, 2010

show: 9:35 p.m.

costs: $10.00 Ticket + $4.25 medium Diet/Zero ( w/ Cherry flavor ) Coke + $2.99 ( sale price ) Safeway Chicken & Provolone Hoagie Sandwich ( my dinner; smuggled-in ) = $17.24

auditorium: 14

seat: 4th row, 6th column

synopsis: A switched corpse brings with it a "train wreck" of unwanted events for family and friends during their time of grief and sorrow.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) "Jackie Chan" ( Jamison Yang ); 2.) Traffic jam; 3.) Mom ( Loretta Devine ); 4.) Old folks' home; 5.) "Valium"; 6.) Ryan ( Martin Lawrence ); 7.) Not now, I'm grieving; 8.) Inside a lime; 9.) Just being neighborly; 10.) Frank ( Peter Dinklage ); 11.) Baby thing happen; 12.) "Bee Gees"; 13.) Martina ( Regine Nehy ); 14.) Not Valium; 15.) Dad ( Ron Glass ); 16.) Amazing Grace; 17.) I want our wedding to be like this; 18.) Aaron's ( Chris Rock ) eulogy; 19.) Pigment mutation; 20.) Eight hours; 21.) Grief does strange things to people; 22.) What's owed to me; 23.) Skinny dipping; 24.) Hey, Sponge Bob's on; 25.) Michael Jackson's -----; 26.) Shoes; 27.) It's Hammer time; 28.) Deal; 29.) The struggle; 30.) Not a compliment; 31.) Knee slapping; 32.) Fight; 33.) You missed a spot; 34.) He's dead; 35.) Grinning like Louis Armstrong; 36.) Fight with the table; 37.) Naked on the roof; 38.) Be spontaneous for once; 39.) I'm pregnant; 40.) It's on my cheek; 41.) We can't never touch again; 42.) I love you, too; 43.) Eulogy, part two; 44.) Just like candy; and 45.) A couple of "Valiums".

audience reaction: The audience enjoyed this.

recommendation: I found this funny, too, although the "bathroom humor" was way out of hand ( Ahem ).

spoiler alert! For his diminutive size, Frank sure didn't get as "high" as one would expect him to get. Any prescription drug is designed for administration on an "average" 180-pound adult male. Frank probably weighs about half of that. Therefore, half the amount of any drug is sufficient for his size. But he was given "4 or 5" pills, meaning that the drug-effect on him should predictably have been 8 to 10 times greater than it was for Oscar ( James Marsden ). In other words, he would have been "flying higher than a kite" or "deader than a door nail" from drug overdose! So, it was a surprise to me that his drug reaction was rather mild by comparison.

By the way, any drug in tablet or pill form will take at least 30 minutes to start showing its effects once it has been orally administered. Why do I mention this? Simple, by the time the drug took effect on Frank, the movie would have already ended! Ha, ha, ha.

fyi: Years ago, I worked with this young black man who worked part-time for a funeral home. One day, he and his co-worker went to the morgue to pick-up a cadaver--a morbidly-obese cadaver. As they wheeled the body to their van, the gurney became unbalanced and tipped over; and the cadaver fell to the ground. The force of impact ripped the stitches open so that the cadaver's internal organs spilled all around it. They had to scoop "everything" off the ground and put them back into the cavity, and haul the cadaver back up on the gurney. Did I forget to mention that they didn't have waterproof aprons on or that they didn't even have some rubber gloves handy? Yuck! Gross! Puke time! And after all that mess, they went and had lunch! Double Yuck! Double Gross! Double Puke time! True story, I kid you not.

word of advice: Don't give somebody else's medication to someone else.

tidbits: As I waited in line to buy a movie ticket, I noticed that the girl in front of me is the granddaughter of a former co-worker. She and another girl were there to see KICK-ASS. I asked her if she's 18 years of age already. She said, "No." I told her that the movie that they want to see is rated R. Luckily for them, the other girl's mother was in the parking lot waiting to see if they could get tickets for the show. So, the other girl used her cell phone to call her mom over and buy the tickets for them. I wished them both, Good Luck, as I walked into the theatre. Like I said yesterday, I wished I were in the "Fake ID" business right now.

KICK-ASS, R ( 1 hr & 57 min )

where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA

when: Friday, April 16th, 2010

show: 11 a.m.

costs: $8.00 Ticket + $4.50 small Zero Coke + $0.00 small Popcorn ( Free Coupon ) = $12.50

auditorium: 5

seat: 3rd row, 12 column

synopsis: Dave ( Aaron Johnson ), a naive teen, decides to fight crime dressed as a super-hero, just like in the comic books. He soon realizes that he is in way over his head when he comes across the "Big Daddy & Hit-Girl" father/daughter ( Nicolas Cage and Chloe Grace Moretz ) vigilante team that's hot on the trail of a local mob boss, Frank D'Amico ( Mark Strong ).

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Armenian guy; 2.) Aneurysm; 3.) Comics shop; 4.) Bullies; 5.) Father & son; 6.) Special delivery; 7.) Father & daughter; 8.) Bowling alley; 9.) Preparation; 10.) First encounter; 11.) Microwave guy; 12.) X-rays; 13.) School cafeteria; 14.) Kick-Ass version 2.0; 15.) Missing cat; 16.) I'm Kick-Ass; 17.) Celebrity status; 18.) Date with Katie ( Lyndsy Fonseca ); 19.) Rosul's ( Kofi Natei ) apartment; 20.) Hit-Girl and Big Daddy; 21.) Unexpected visit; 22.) Cop; 23.) Auto wrecking yard; 24.) Body lotion; 25.) Former partner, Marcus ( Omari Hardwick ); 26.) Comic book; 27.) Wrong guy; 28.) Headline news; 29.) Red Mist ( Christopher Mintz-Plasse ); 30.) E-mail; 31.) Meeting; 32.) Frank's Lumber Supplies; 33.) Teddy cam; 34.) No more homework; 35.) Nightmare; 36.) Katie's room; 37.) Making-out; 38.) Betrayal; 39.) Watch and learn; 40.) The planned televised execution; 41.) If it wasn't for you; 42.) Finish what we start; 43.) School girl; 44.) Shoot-out; 45.) Jet pack; 46.) Playtime's over; 47.) Bazooka; and 48.) Lunch money.

audience reaction: The audience loved this very violent movie!

recommendation: This is probably the best ( read: More believable ) super-hero movie that I've ever seen. Hit-Girl stole the show! A lot of under-age teens will desperately want to see this movie ( Oh, how I wish I were in the "Fake ID" business right now! ).

spoiler alert: With cars parked at the curb on either side and facing in opposite directions, one particular road should have been a two-way road but the cars made it narrow enough to be just a "one-way" road, so which is it? There's no way for a flying magazine to slide into place in a gun that easily. Bullets shot through the window and should have hit the building across the street--perhaps, even some windows. If I were a super-hero, I wouldn't go walking around casually in a costume since I'd be just a "walking target" for a drive-by shooter or by a group of thugs. I wouldn't park my highly-conspicuous souped-up Mustang in a bad neighborhood, if I had one--Heck! I wouldn't go cruising around in a bad neighborhood in such a car in the first place since Mustangs are high on a car-napper's "Domestic Favorites" list ( Two Mustang cars had their wheels stolen in the condominium complex where I presently live. ). Why didn't the bad guys unmask them both since it would have been the logical thing to do? You don't test the sharpness of a knife's blade by running your thumb down the length of its edge. The kitchen knives should not have simultaneously hit their target arranged in a "top & bottom" way. Those kitchen knives should have hit their target with the blades somewhat pointing up, rather than down. Both Gatling Machine Guns, firing in unison, would have easily pushed him back ( and I hope that he had earplugs on ). An RPG can't carry a human across such a distance--and linearly, to boot!

What nudity ...?

fyi: A Balisong ( a.k.a. Butterfly Knife ), although popularized by the Filipinos, was actually invented by the Japanese as a farming tool. In the Philippines, it is made from worn-out automobile wheel bearings.

I had my first experience with a balisong back when I was about five years old in Kidapawan, Cotabato, Mindanao, Philippines. Somebody had one and was twirling it around. So, I asked to borrow it and twirled it around, too. It was easy enough, but I loosened my grip on it somehow as I flicked it close and it twisted in my right hand and the blade just lightly touched the fleshy mound under my thumb, and that was all it took to slice the palm of my hand! I still have the ( barely visible now ) scar to prove it.

There are actually "looney bin nut cases" around masquerading as costumed "super-heroes". In fact, I just saw an internet news feature a few days ago about this masked man in New York who hands out toothbrushes to the homeless. He's no crime-fighter to me, more like a dental plaque/tartar-fighter--and I hope he hands out toothpastes, as well. And one of my co-workers, Mike A., told me that there's a place here in California--Mountain View, I think-- where you can go to the local police department and register yourself as a costumed "crime" fighter ( I guess the hard-working cops deserve a good laugh once in a while ).

Okay, it's embarrassing confession time ....

I wanted to be like my super-hero idol, Batman, and once designed a super-hero outfit for my own intended use. It was like Kick-Ass's costume, except that it was all in black and it had side holsters for a pair of Nunchakus, as well. And since super-heroes always go to aid "damsels in distress", I decided that my super-hero alter-ego should be the one to rescue Patty Hearst from her captors, the Symbionese Liberation Army ( SLA ) "soldiers". Mind you, this was before I learned how to drive ( and I couldn't even afford to buy a used 10-speed bicycle back then ) and before I learned how to ride public transportation like AC Transit, BART, and the Cable Cars of San Francisco--Heck, I didn't even know how to get a street map! As I was mulling over the logistics of my planned covert operation, the "voice of reason" inside my head told me that I was just a desperate and crazy, "hoping-to-get-laid-for-my-heroics-by-the-damsel-herself" , day-dreaming idiotic fool who could get himself cut to pieces by bullets! This, and the fact that Patty and her captors were caught by the police soon after, effectively put an abrupt end to my secret plan. L O L!

word of advice: Don't be naive.

If you want to play the part of a super-hero, at least, become athletic and highly-skilled in both armed and unarmed combat fighting, first.

tidbits: I've already said it. But I'll say it again: Nicolas Cage looks better with a mustache since it balances-out his droopy lower lip!

Before the movie, I had two quick errands to do. I swung by the Chase Bank in the Target Shopping Center here in Vallejo, CA, to make a deposit. Then, I went to the local CSAA office to get a new license tag for my Hyundai Accent and to get a couple of Palo Alto, CA, maps.

After the movie, I went to the Fairfield, CA, K-Mart to buy a pair of steel-toed work boots, but they didn't have my exact size. So, I went to Big Lots next door and bought some stuff before heading off to work in Benicia.

DATE NIGHT, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 28 min )

where: CINEARTS @ PLEASANT HILL in Pleasant Hill, CA

when: Friday, April 9th, 2010

show: 9:50 p.m.

costs: $10.00 Ticket + $3.75 small Diet Coke + $14.74 dinner at Buffet City ( + $2.26 Tip ) + $4.00 Bridge Toll = $34.75

auditorium: 1, The Cinedome

seat: 8ht row, 10th seat

synopsis: A suburbanite couple, Phil and Claire Foster ( Steve Carell and Tina Fey ), wanting to spice-up their marriage, gets more than what they want when they take another couple's reservation at a trendy restaurant.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Time for breakfast; 2.) House for sale; 3.) Steak house; 4.) Mouth guard; 5.) Book club; 6.) The Claw Restaurant; 7.) Boat; 8.) We gotta do more cardio; 9.) Police department; 10.) Computer "sticky thing"; 11.) Back at The Claw; 12.) Rainbow wheel; 13.) Holbrooke Grant's ( Mark Wahlberg ) residence; 14.) Audi R8 4.2 sports car; 15.) The Feltons' apartment; 16.) Car chase; 17.) Back at Holbrooke's place; 18.) The Peppermint Hippo; 19.) Pole dance; 20.) Count to "3"; 21.) I'd do it again; 22.) Out-takes; and 23.) Bonus scene after the ending credits.

audience reaction: The audience enjoyed this action comedy.

recommendation: I liked this movie enough to give it a "Go See" recommendation. 

spoiler alert! It's not a "mouth guard", it's a "bite guard". Trust me, I know; I have to put one on before bedtime for, like, forever per my periodontist's order. Nobody noticed them walk out of a crowded, expensive restaurant without paying for their meals. Why did the two bad guys put their kidnap victims IN the back seat of the car? If bad guys put me in the back seat without tying me up first, I'd scratch their eyes out from behind before they can take me to a remote location to cap me! You don't need any fancy-schmancy hi-tech spy gizmo stuff just to find out the name of the person and/or his/her address--if you have a person's 'phone number, all you need is your computer's White Pages Directory to find out the person's name and address; and for a small one-time fee, you can "dig-up" some "dirt" on the person that you're checking out. The fancy Audi R8 4.2 sports car was missing its rear-view mirror--and judging from the camera angles that they used, they didn't even have to remove the mirror at all! When Phil drove-off once again, after talking with Claire at the curb, he didn't check for traffic! How come the taxi's airbag didn't deploy? What was up with the stupid broom in the strip club? It didn't make any sense for it to be there in the first place. There's no way that an helicopter could sneak-up on anyone because it could be heard from a mile away--literally!

fyi:  I'm allergic to freshly-mowed grass: If I lie down on it, I'd get hives all over my exposed skin. I inherited this allergy from my mom.

Claire didn't have to worry about getting "whacked-off " by the bad guys because "whacking" her and her husband off would not be on their minds at all.  "Whacked-off " is American slang for, Masturbated!

A friend of mine and I went to a strip club twice. He refused to have his picture taken with any one of the hot and sexy strippers because he reasoned that someday, if and when he becomes rich and famous, such incriminating evidence could surface and cause him trouble.

Unlike my friend, though, I didn't have any qualms about posing with one of the strippers because there's no way in the world that I'd ever get rich and famous: Movie blogging will probably be my only claim to ( dubious ) fame--and it's just a non-paying hobby of mine. But, just in case, maybe I should go looking for those damn pictures and dispose of them.

word of advice: Never have your indiscretions photographed.

tidbits: Just before I got off work at 8:00 p.m. tonight, a new employee unintentionally triggered the alarm when she opened the emergency exit door in the warehouse--Duh! because a supervisor told her to open the loading door and the side door for the truck driver to make his delivery. I guess she thought the side door meant the emergency door. Oh, boy! I couldn't do anything about it since only those in management have the alarm key and I couldn't fetch a supervisor or I would be on overtime. I suppose I could have stayed a few minutes to take over for a supervisor so he could go and turn off the alarm. But I just wanted to get out of there because the ear-splitting alarm sound was hurting my eardrums.

After this incident, I decided to unwind by going to see a movie. So I went to the Chevron gas station nearby to get gas, and to buy a newspaper to find out the schedule of movies that came out today, Friday. I decided to see this movie at CineArts in Pleasant Hill because, after the show, I needed to swing by an area in Walnut Creek to know its location prior to my scheduled appointment for the following Monday.

But dinner was first on my late-night "To-Do" list. And off to Buffet City in Concord I went.

They had beef spare ribs at the buffet, so I had two and asked the waitress for a doggie bag so I could save the bones for my friend's big dog. I set the bones on a napkin along with my fork and spoon  before  I went back to the buffet tables for seconds. When I came back, the bones were already in a bag and my fork and spoon were resting on the bare surface of the table--how unsanitary was that! I lost my appetite at the sight of it. So, after I went for thirds, I sat impatiently drumming my nails on the table as I waited for the waitress to bring me my check. I had to draw the waiter's attention to get him to fetch me the waitress. I can tell you this, my alter ego, Pig-out Man, was not pleased at all by the quality of service here tonight; and, worse, they didn't  even  have any hot-looking waitresses at all!

As I stepped out of the restaurant, I held the door open for a Chinese employee who was walking in with five big boxes of pizza! Pizza ... at a Chinese Buffet ... what was going on ...? They must be tired of eating Chinese food all the time! And that guy didn't even thank me for holding the door open for him! He must have felt too embarrassed to act with courtesy. I have  in  mind to sneak back in here late one night, after all the dining patrons have left, and take incriminating photographs of all the Chinese employees gorging-out on take-out pizza and sell the photos to National Enquirer! Hah! that will teach them.

The "Pole Dance" is stupidly funny, and it is probably the highlight of this movie.   Two professions employ the use of a pole: The stripping and the firefighting professions.  A burly and hairy firefighter on a pole--ahh! I can't erase the image out of my mind.  And I see these guys at work every single day.  O Lord ....

After the movie, as planned, I took a quick trip to Walnut Creek. The part of town where I was at made me feel that my blue 2001 Hyundai Accent car was out of place: Too many expensive, fancy cars around mine--I guess they were cruising and trolling for  young and fresh "tuna".  Hey, it's a Friday late-night, what did you expect?    And one of the guys driving around probably paid more for his car than what I paid for my condo! How depreciatingly depressing is that? I need to win the California lottery--and right quick!

Here's a tip:  If I win the lottery, I'll take a much-needed LONG vacation from movie blogging!  I'd probably go on a three-month or six-month world-wide cruise.  And I won't be taking any incriminating photos or making incriminating videos of myself for posterity's sake!  Ha, ha, ha.

CLASH OF THE TITANS, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 58 min )

where: CINEARTS @ PLEASANT HILL in Pleasant Hill, CA
when: Thursday, April 1st, 2010
show: 8:00 p.m.
costs: $10.00 Ticket + $4.25 small Popcorn ( w/ Butter ) + $3.75 small Diet/Zero Coke + $1.00 Fudge Brownie Cookie Dough Bites ( bought at 99 Cent Only Store & smuggled-in ) + $4.00 Bridge Toll = $23.00
auditorium: 1, The Cinedome
seat: 6th row, 22nd column

2nd time:

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Sunday, April 4th, 2010

show: 7:45 p.m.

costs: $10.00 Ticket + $3.00 3-D Glasses + $3.75 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke = $16.75

auditorium: 8, with the 3-D screen

seat: 5th row, 9th column

synopsis: Perseus ( Sam Worthington ) watches helplessly as Hades ( Ralph Fienes ) kills his family. After being rescued from the shipwreck by the soldiers of the city of Argos, he learns that he is a demigod son of Zeus ( Liam Neeson ). Angry over his loss, he joins a small ragtag army on a quest to exact vengeance on his uncle, Hades.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Plucked from the sea; 2.) One day; 3.) Statue of Zeus; 4.) Sunk; 5.) Love that feeds us; 6.) Argos; 7.) Era of Man; 7.) Demigod; 8.) Interrogation; 9.) Io ( Gemma Arterton ); 10.) Bring everything; 11.) Volunteers; 12.) Alliance; 13.) Flutes; 14.) Sword lesson; 15.) Gift from the gods; 16.) Pegasus; 17.) Scorpions; 18.) Together; 19.) Caravan; 20.) The witches; 21.) I hate to refuse you twice; 22.) Charon, the Ferryman of the dead; 23.) I'm trying to help you live; 24.) Medusa ( Natalia Vodianova ); 25.) Don't become one of them; 26.) You're the best of both; 27.) Kraken; 28.) Religious mob; 29.) Andromeda ( Alexa Davalos ), the sacrificial offering; 30.) The Furies; 31.) The fall; 32.) That's almost human of you; and 33.) The reunion.

audience reaction: Hard to tell since there were just about five people in the audience.

2nd audience reaction: There were more people in the audience this time around. And I believe they enjoyed this movie.

recommendation: There are too many slow scenes in this movie billed as a mythological fantasy adventure. To me, it's not good enough to rate a very positive recommendation. I may have to see this in 3-D to see if it will make a difference in my opinion.

2nd recommendation: The "after-thought" 3-D SFX that Hollywood used to hook audiences into paying $3.00 extra for this movie is not worth it! Most of the time, I had to strain my eyes just to notice the 3-D effect. At other times, the 3-D effect was distorted so that the actors' images each looked like a deck of cards. And the fight scenes were too frenetic for the barely-there-to-begin-with 3-D effect to be discernible. Save your money and watch it in 2-D, instead! You won't miss a thing--trust me.

spoiler alert! How and when did Perseus learn acrobatics? The scorpion claw looked fake as it rested on the ground because it was too loose at the joint. Who forced Io to wear a mop-head around the collar of her toga? The sword went through her body in such a way that her diaphragm would have been sliced in half and then it would have killed her almost instantly through asphyxiation--she wouldn't have been able to talk at all! When the sea floor ripped open, there should have been an earthquake on land and the water should have receded, followed by a tsunami. The Kraken was flailing its arms about for an inordinately long time before it surfaced its ugly head. As they swam up to the surface, not one of the hundreds of boulders and rocks hit them. The Golden Owl was not employed in this one, unlike in the original CLASH OF THE TITANS ( 1981 ).

fyi: I decided to see this movie here because the Cinedome is the perfect venue for blockbuster movies since it's an huge auditorium, with a big screen to boot.

Natalia Vodianova, as Medusa, is the hottest babe in this movie! She makes Uma Thurman's Medusa in PERCY JACKSON & THE OLYMPIANS: THE LIGHTNING THIEF ( 2010 ) look like a plain-Jane. This Medusa can turn any hot-blooded man to rock--iykwim!

I don't remember much about the original 1981 version except for the Golden Owl--and vaguely at that!

It was a common belief in ancient times that gods had sex with humans. Even the Bible mentions this in Genesis 6:2. On a broader range, female spirits called, Succubi, and male spirits called, Incubi, have sexual intercourse with humans. How do you think the mother of Jesus got herself pregnant?

word of advice: Do not commit the sin of Blasphemy against God for it is "The One Unpardonable Sin" ( Matthew 12:31-32 and Mark 3:22-30 ) that Jesus Christ didn't die on the Cross for. [ This is my Good Friday message to everyone. ]

tidbits: At 7:30 p.m., as I was wiping my hands with a paper towel in the men's room, I made the comment that the motion-activated faucets in this room will not activate themselves independently because I've never seen any of them do that, unlike in the other men's room around the other side of the theatre. Just then, the faucet that I had just used came on by itself! 'Proved me wrong.

On my way home, I swung by the Safeway grocery store in Benicia, CA, to buy grape juice, gefilte fish, a banana, and an orange. Then I stopped at the Chevron gas station next door to get some gas and to buy some lottery tickets. And I hurried home because I had to eat the gefilte fish with my matzo unleavened bread and horseradish, and wash it all down with the grape juice before midnight or I'd turn into a permanent gentile! Ha, ha, ha.

I would have posted this blog before noontime today, Good Friday, except that there was something wrong with BlogSpot.Com earlier today and I couldn't post this at all until it was almost midnight.

2nd tidbits: When I stepped out of this auditorium after the ending credits, I could have easily walked into auditorium 13 across the hallway and watched this movie again in 2-D. Believe me, I was tempted. But I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow so I decided not to give in to this particular temptation.

After I left the theatre, I swung by the local CVS store to buy a beach chair. It is just the perfect height for doing cross-legged meditation without putting undue stress on my bad knee.

CHLOE, R ( 1 hr & 36 min )

where: CINEARTS @ PLEASANT HILL in Pleasant Hill, CA
when: Thursday, April 1st, 2010
show: 4:45 p.m.
costs: $7.25 Ticket = $7.25
auditorium: 3
seat: 3rd row, 6th column, left section

synopsis: A female gynecologist, Catherine Stewart ( Julianne Moore ), suspects her music professor husband, David ( Liam Neeson ), of marital infidelity. She hires the services of a prostitute, Chloe ( Amanda Seyfried ), to confirm her suspicion. But something else, unplanned, happens.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Planned surprise birthday party; 2.) Missed flight; 3.) The son, Michael ( Max Thieriot ); 4.) The day after; 5.) Cell phone text message; 6.) Ladies' room; 7.) Chloe; 8.) He's not the client; 9.) Cafe Diplomatico; 10.) How do you do this; 11.) Break-up; 12.) Rivoli; 13.) Picnic details; 14.) Bicycle accident; 15.) More details; 16.) I want you to be "clean"; 17.) Shower; 18.) Clinic; 19.) Windsor Arms Hotel; 20.) That's a lie; 21.) Kiss; 22.) It's a lotion; 23.) Tryst; 24.) Taxi; 25.) Couple's spat; 26.) Intimate photo; 27.) Business transaction; 28.) Ice hockey; 29.) 'Phone call; 30.) Mid-life crisis fling; 31.) Confession; 32.) House guest; 33.) Look at me; 34.) I'm not yours; 35.) The unexpected; 36.) Michael's graduation party; and 37.) The two-pronged hair fork.

audience reaction: I didn't notice anybody else in the auditorium with me--it was too damn dark in there.

recommendation: See this only if you're an horndog fan of Julianne Moore and/or Amanda Seyfried.

spoiler alert! Wouldn't it have been better had she hired a detective to investigate her husband's extra "curricular" activities? Why did Michael decide to do it in his parents' bedroom even though they were not out of town and would be home sooner or later? Does having just one erotic scene--the lesbian one--qualify this movie as an "erotic thriller"?

fyi: I believe that this is the first time that Amanda Seyfried went nude in a movie--the only reason why I went to see this movie, I must confess ( curiousity got the better hold on me ) . And according to another movie reviewer, the camera loved her body because it lingered on her figure. Bull! I should have been the director or, at the very least, the camera man for this movie since, apparently, neither one knows the meaning of the word, Linger, and the teasingly frustrating camera angles didn't serve to pander to the prurient interests of horndogs out there. What a disservice!

A rumor in Hollywood has it that Liam Neeson is one of the "better-endowed" in the current crop of actors. Do you remember the movie, NELL ( 1994 ), in which he starred with Jodie Foster? Anyway, there was a scene in which Nell ( Jodie Foster ) was skinny dipping and talked Liam's character into joining her in the water. So he went in the water. And Nell swam up to him and gave him a hug. Then, Nell slowly drifted away to about ... hmm ..., I would say, approximately twelve inches! If this ain't an indication, then I don't know what is!

word of advice: If you're already married, don't go flirting around, especially in the presence of your spouse.

tidbits: I missed the first few minutes of this movie. Consequently, I didn't have enough time to go to the concession counter and buy something to eat and drink.

I had about one and a half hour of time on my hands before the next movie, CLASH OF THE TITANS, was to start. I didn't feel like driving to the other side of town just to pig-out at a buffet. So I just did a little shopping at the Dollar Tree Store next door to the cineplex. I bought a 16 oz. bag of rice, two pairs of latex gloves for use at work. a bag of roasted peanuts, and a bag of banana chips.

And since I hadn't eaten anything since early this morning, I decided to snack on the peanuts and banana chips in my car. I also did some mantras just to while the time away. Then I re-parked my car in another spot because a big pick-up truck was parked too close for comfort on the driver's side of my tiny Geo Metro.