Wednesday, February 29, 2012

WANDERLUST, R ( 1 hr & 38 min )


where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Tuesday, February 28ht, 2012
show:  12:05 p.m. ( Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee )
costs:  $6.50 Ticket + $4.75 junior Popcorn + $4.00 small 16 oz Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's Root Beer & Cherry flavors ) Coke = $15.25
auditorium:  4
seat:  3rd row, 9th column


synopsis/overview:  After George ( Paul Rudd ) and Linda ( Jennifer Aniston ) lose their home, they decide to move-in with George's brother in Atlanta.  But they happen upon a free love commune along the way.  After a little bit of soul-searching, they decide to give the commune lifestyle a try.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Micro loft; 2.) "Don't go to sleep.  We can do this"; 3.) "F-ck the penguins"; 4.) "The Benjamins"; 5.) "Very interesting company shut-down"; 6.) "It's a stupid apartment"; 7.) The nudist guy; 8.) "Verbal diarrhea"; 9.) "Where are John, Paul and Ringo"; 10.) "Menstrual cycle"; 11.) "Money buys nothing"; 12.) "I have a little bit of a Sky Mall problem"; 13.) Porta-Potty business; 14.) Argument; 15.) The welcome back; 16.) "Door ... way"; 17.) "Dingle bag"; 18.) "Primal gesticulation"; 19.) Jam session"; 20.) Assorted chores; 21.) Toilet talk; 22.) Truth circle; 23.) Flight of fancy; 24.) "Why is that grass crying"; 25.) "I believe I can fly"; 26.) 'Phone call; 27.) Pond; 28.) "We should make love sometime"; 29.) "Business cards"; 30.) "Fetish violence"; 31.) "Marking her territory"; 32.) The protest; 33.) TV news; 34.) "Topless Norma Rae"; 35.) "I just made love to your wife in the other room"; 36.) "Get it up in your vage"; 37.) "You're creeping me out"; 38.) Baby; 39.) Paul and the fly; 40.) Placenta; 41.) "It was a stupid idea"; 42.) GPS; 43.) Betrayed; 44.) Manuscript; 45.) "We'll make-out without touching"; 46.) "The tracking system in your car"; 47.) At the Gwinnette Diner; 48.) "That's a very easy mistake to make"; 49.) "I'm not punching you. I'm slapping you"; 50.) "Jesus, can a person go a day in this place without getting a dick in the face"; 51.) The witness; 52.) The founders; 53.) TV news update one year later; 54.) Outtakes during the Ending Credits; and 55.) Bonus Scene after the Ending Credits.

favorite scenes:  I liked the Business Cards scene.

I liked the Diner scene.

I liked some of the scenes with Eva and Linda in them.

audience reaction:  N/A.  I was the only one in the auditorium.

recommendation:  I actually found it funny, not laugh-out-loud funny.  But, funny, nonetheless.  Go see this if you're into Comedy movies.

spoiler alert!  How could they not have heard the horse walk to the doorway? When he caught her from falling from that height, the force should have hurt his back and torn both of his rotator cuff ligaments. I would not want to swat a fly with my bare hand, especially at the dining table since it would just be gross! Deeds of Trust are simply a matter of public record. They could easily find a copy of the deed at the local county clerk's office. Duh! What those TV news reporters said all amounted to sexual harassment over which they could have been/ should have been easily sued for million$.  Ah ... the pregnant woman forgot to remove her panties first. On TV, why was the nudist guy's butt censored but not Ray Liotta's butt? For you horndogs out there who want to see this movie for its nudity, let me give you a quick rundown on what to expect:  Male butt, fake penis, fripples, wet see-through male underwear, young female breasts, fripples, pregnant woman's crotch shots; old saggy breasts, pot bellies, stretch marks,  "turtle-neck" penis, and another male butt ( in that particular order, I think ).  I'm surprised to see that, given the commune's free love lifestyle, there were no horndogs beating a daily/nightly path to Eva's ( Malin Akerman ) doorway!

fyi:  One night back when I was a little kid of four or five years of age in Kidapawan, Cotabato, Mindanao, Philippines, a neighborhood friend of mine, Ben-Ben,  told me that if I climbed up the Guyabano ( Soursop ) tree beside our house and perched myself on a branch, I would be able to float in the air. I climbed up the tree and stood there as a cool breeze swayed the tree ever so gently. I believed that I could fly. But I held on a branch, just in case.  Eventually, though, plain old common sense got the better hold on me and I climbed down that tree.

Someday, I will hunt down that "piece of sh-t" friend and punch him out for almost talking me into killing myself!

Does anybody out there remember a few years back when Placenta was added to some brands of Shampoo? Yuck!  What was that all about ...?

word of advice:  Nothing in Life is free.

tidbits:  At the concessions area, I saw a co-worker of mine.  Brian was there to see ACT OF VALOR. I told him that I had just finished blogging about it this morning.  And I gave him one of my Cine-Man cards so that he could read what I have to say about it.  He said that he will check it out and see whether or not he will agree with what I have to say about the movie.  I told him that he will, since I'm dead-on in my review.  I will get his feedback on it the next time that I see him at work.


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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

ACT OF VALOR, R ( 1 hr & 51 min )



where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Saturday, February 25th, 2012
show:  12:10 p.m.  ( Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee )
costs:  $6.50 Ticket + $4.75 Pretzel Bites + $4.00 small 16 oz Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's Root Beer & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $4.28 Beefy Crunch Combo lunch @ Taco Bell after the movie = $19.53
auditorium:  1
seat:  4th row, 4th column


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Ethos; 2.) Schoolyard; 3.) Expectant father; 4.) Kidnapped; 5.) "All our focus is on the mission"; 6.) Intelligence report; 7.) Torture; 8.) "Target secure"; 9.) Chase; 10.) "Hot extract"; 11.) Discreet; 12.) "Always disappointing"; 13.) "Big trouble in little China"; 14.) "Sixteen Pilipinos"; 15.) Yacht; 16.) "Crisco"; 17.) "Sh-t filters fall"; 18.) "Sixteen Jihadists"; 19.) Mexican coastal village; 20.) "Mission not complete"; 21.) Tunnel network; 22.) US/Mexico Border; 23.) "Milk factory"; 24.) Suicide bomber; 25.) Grenade; 26.) Old flag; 27.) "Tecumseh's poem"; 28.) Pictures during the Ending Credits; and 29.) "In Memory Of" dedication.

audience reaction:  The audience enjoyed it.

recommendation:  It was good enough for me.  Go see this if you're into Action Movies.

spoiler alert!  Great ... now all of the Terrorists and Drug Cartels in the Whole Wide World know how the Navy Seals operate! Whoopty Doo ....  These guys are supposed to be actual, active Navy Seals personnel which is why they are mentioned/listed only on a "First Name Basis."  But, the director and/or cameraman forgot this little detail when filming one of the Navy Seals because the last name of the Seal-guy was shown on his uniform as he left his wife to go on deployment--Whoopsie! I guess that somebody forgot to tell the Navy Seals that there are plenty--and I do mean, p-l-e-n-t-y--of Crocodiles in Costa Rica which hunt at night!  Couldn't they make the mini reconnaissance drone with a bird-like silhouette, instead?  Why, because a drone shaped like a plane and flown deep in the jungle would easily raise the suspicion of those being spied upon once it is spotted.  After all, the jungle is usually not the place where one would find R/C planes being flown around ( at the neighborhood park, maybe ).  The sniper had enough time to have easily taken-out the first truck, and slowed-down the bad guys in the process. When the Navy Seals had those trucks pinned down, they should also have used RPGs on them.  The only way that that particular Navy Seal could have known that the 16 Jihadists were Pilipinos was if he looked at all the Hispanic names in the Ending Credits first!  Heads up to all of the Navy Seals out there, the native peoples in Brunei, Indonesia, Malaysia and the Southern Philippines who are Muslims all look the same. So, looking through a pair of binoculars at a bunch of Far East/South East Asians kneeling and praying towards Mecca doesn't necessarily make them all to be Pilipinos.  Because they all look pretty much the same, with a few exceptions such as myself.  If you put me in a room full of Mexicans or Puerto Ricans, invariably, one of them will try to start a conversation with me by asking:


"Eres el Sr. Fred?"


Que?


"Eres el Sr. Fred Flintstone?"


Hell, no!  Not you, too.  ( Damn, I get that anywhere I go! ) Escuchame, Yo soy el doble atractivo de la Esai Morales!  Me entiendes? ( Listen to me, I'm Esai Morales' better-looking "twin"! Do you understand me? )  Ha, ha, ha.

When you're busy working in your makeshift bomb factory in the middle of the night and a dog outside starts barking loudly and repeatedly, what should that tell you ...?  When the Navy Seals raided that coastal village, they would have made a more efficient work of it had they also used Infra-Red Imaging to "see" which shacks had people in them who were wide awake and assembling explosive devices. Whoever translated the Tagalog dialogues into English in the subtitle did a laughable  job of it!  Why didn't they hire my services as Cine-Man, the Tagalog-to-English translator? When a grenade nearby is about to explode, you should lie down flat on the floor instead of kneel against the wall! I say this because I'm pretty sure that they heard and saw the grenade land on the floor near them. There was a quick scene wherein laser dots were clearly shown on the bad guys, but the Navy Seals forgot to shoot at them. Dang, who trained this particular group of Navy Seals, anyway? After he was already dead, the Navy Seal who was laying in his own pool of blood blinked his eye! It is not a poem at all but, rather, it is words to live by.

fyi:  What follows now is the wisdom advice of Chief Tecumseh which I found on the internet ....

CHIEF TECUMSEH'S Words To Live By:

"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about their religion;
respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours.
Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life.

Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people.
Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend,
even a stranger, when in a lonely place.
Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living.
If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.

Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools
and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled
with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep
and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way.
Sing your death song and die like a hero going home."

Internet Source:

Source type: Wisdom Commons Website
Chief Tecumseh ( 1768-1813 ) of the Native American Shawnee Nation
Contributor: Mriana
Copied from:  www.wisdomcommons.org

Since the Pilipino Jihadists in this movie all spoke Tagalog, it simply goes to reason that the Muslim terrorists in the Philippines are nothing more than just Tagalogs masquerading as Moros to give the Mindanawens a bad reputation--the nerve of them!    I mean, in Mindanao, where I was born, the natives speak Bisaya, Moro, Dabawenyo, Bagobo, etc.  BUT, in this movie,  THEY SPOKE IN TAGALOG.  In other words, the US Armed Forces who are fighting the Terrorists in the Philippines are doing so in the wrong Island!  They should all pack-up and head north to the Island of Luzon, where the Tagalogs live!  Ha, ha, ha.  And the US Armed Forces can racially-profile all of the Tagalogs all they want, for all I care.  LOL.  That should teach the Tagalogs right for infiltrating my Island and pretending that it belongs to them.

In case you guys are wondering why I purposely spell, Filipino, with a "P", it is because the letter "F" is not in the Philippine Alphabet.  Yes, that's right, we don't give a "F"!  Ha, ha, ha.

word of advice:  Be ready to lead.  Be ready to follow.  And never quit.

"Don't bother running, you'll only die tired!"

tidbits:  I went to see this movie before going to work to take advantage of the extra dollar off matinee special.

Next, I went to the Dollar Tree Store at the Target Shopping Center to buy a 3-litre bottle of Grape soda. Then, I went to the nearby Taco Bell for a light lunch and to spend some time doing my Zhunti Mantra before hitting the road to go to work.

And I had to stay overtime one hour and twenty minutes just so I could finish my work assignment because it was just too busy at work and there was not enough help scheduled for today--same ol' crap, so to speak.

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Thursday, February 23, 2012

THE DESCENDANTS, R ( 1 hr & 55 min )


Quickie Review:  A man must come to grips with a life-altering reality: The inevitable death of his comatose wife.  As he wrestles with the decision to allow the doctors to remove his wife from life support, a secret adulterous affair surfaces.  All the while, he faces pressure from most of his relatives who want him to sell the family's vast Land Trust of which he is the sole trustee.  Above all of these, he tries to be a better father to his two daughters.

I was the only one in auditorium 10 for this particular show at 10:15 p.m. on Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012, at the UA Emery Bay Stadium 10 in Emeryville, CA.

I liked this Comedy/Drama Movie which was, for the most part, realistically portrayed.  And I do recommend it as a "Go See" movie.

I liked the scene when he was alone in the hospital room with his wife.  I liked the scene with the grandfather and the granddaughter's stupid guy friend. And I also liked the end of the scene when he went to visit the realtor.

Here are the things that I didn't like about this movie:  I don't know whether or not this movie is based on actual events. But it seems to me that their ancestor was the only one who married a native while the rest of the descendants married into white families--the ancestor had an ulterior motive, perhaps. The daughters were too foul-mouthed and too disrespectful toward their father.  Of course, I say this from the point-of-view of someone who was born in a country where such behaviors were simply not tolerated nor expected of children.  But, who knows, maybe times/things have changed now in the westernized old country through the influence of Hollywood Movies. The older daughter's guy friend was too stupid to be believable, like he was just added-on for comic relief. Did all of the relatives chip-in to pay the Property Tax in Perpetuity? Did any of them look at the possibility of selling Easements on the Land Trust? And the ashes looked more like cat litter, the cheap non-clumping kind!

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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

THE SECRET WORLD OF ARRIETTY, G ( 1 hr & 35 min )


where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Tuesday, February 21st, 2012
show:  4:30 p.m.
costs:  $7.50 Ticket + $3.75 two-scoop Ice Cream ( Strawberry Cheesecake & Cookie Dough ) + $4.50 medium 24 oz Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's Root Beer & Cherry flavors ) Coke = $15.75
auditorium:  3
seat:  4th row, 4th seat


synopsis/overview:  Shawn, a sick and frail boy, goes to his grandparents' country home to rest-up before he goes to a hospital for heart surgery.  But the home is also home to a very tiny "human" girl, Arrietty, and her parents who call themselves, The "Borrowers".  The borrowers take things from humans that will usually not be missed.  Shawn and Arrietty become friends.  But it's a friendship that puts the borrowers' lives at risk.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Bush; 2.) "My own little garden"; 3.) Kitchen; 4.) Dollhouse; 5.) Discovered; 6.) Sugar cube; 7.) Note; 8.) Crow; 9.) "We've better start looking for a new home"; 10.) Pest control; 11.) Dollhouse story; 12.) "Too many memories of wishes that never came true"; 13.) "It really would have made a lovely home"; 14.) Another borrower; 15.) Cricket leg; 16.) Kitchen remodel; 17.) Face to face; 18.) "Sometimes, you have to stand up and fight for what you believe in"; 19.) Caught; 20.) 'Phone call; 21.) Exterminators; 22.) Nest; 23.) "Not gone"; 24.) "Someone's been making tea"; 25.) The cat; 26.) Parting gifts; and 27.) Bonus Scenes during the Ending Credits.

audience reaction:  The few people in the audience were mostly families with little brats, like the one in the 5th row whose brats were talkative!  The man in the 3rd row was with his brat-daughter; and they left halfway through the movie--I don't know what that was all about.  There were people seated further back. And the general consensus of the audience was that this movie was "Enjoyable Enough" for them to watch.

recommendation:  I felt the same way, too.  This is a family movie that you might want to take your little brats to.  Just be sure to keep them quiet or else ....

spoiler alert!  That flashlight bulb would need a bigger battery. When Arrietty was standing on Shawn's shoulder, the thought that came to my mind was, Gee, I hope he doesn't have bad breath--I say this because Shawn was never shown brushing his teeth! Ha, ha, ha.  How was their house covered with rubbish, and wouldn't the house still be under that pile? They were supposed to "borrow" things that the humans wouldn't miss, but the neighbors noticed that some things went missing.

fyi:  What I'm about to tell you might come across as unbelievable, that you might be well-advised "to take it with a grain of salt"--or a lump of sugar, in this case--but I'm telling it to you just the way that it happened many years ago back in Mindanao, Philippines.

We were already living at a Matina, Davao City, apartment at that time.  It was probably around the time when I was ten or eleven years of age.  At certain times, we would make it a family trip to visit our old house in Kidapawan, Cotabato.  But this time around was going to be different because my mother planned for us to stop by a house between Bansalan and Makilala, a house that she heard was inhabited by little people.

The house, in particular, was a typical native-style nondescript house on stilts. The lady owner invited us into her house and told us some things about the little people that lived under her house.  She said to treat the little people with respect because they had magical powers that could do both harm and good to humans. And she said that the little people even had the power to assume human proportions whenever they needed to. And, as "humans", they'd even travel to Davao City to do some shopping.  The lady even showed us a porcelain jar ( the kind used for beauty creams ) that has a pair of tiny sandals ( i.e. Flip-flops ) in it. My father had to suppress his laughter when he saw the pair of sandals which were the exact same ones quite commonly used to adorn keychains with!  The sandals even had holes in them were a keychain ( like the kind used for dogtags ) would be threaded through.

Finally, it was time for us to look under the house.  This area under the house was boarded-up on all four sides with plywood.  But it had an opening under the staircase.  We gathered there at the opening as we peered into the darkness. After staring into the darkness for a few minutes, I noticed a flash of light shoot from left to right in front of my eyes.  Then, in the middle of the darkened area, I saw a pair of tiny lighted orbs moving slightly closer to us onlookers.  The orbs turned out to be the headlights of a tiny truck with a canvas-covered bed ( like the kind that you see in WWII movies )! The tiny driver got out and walked a few inches in front of the truck and got down on his knees to "scoop water" with his hands from an invisible source in front of him.  He was "drinking water", from the look of it! And I saw another tiny man using a pick, and another one digging for something with a shovel.

My eldest sister, the one who now lives in Michigan, was the only other one in the family who saw something in that darkened area under the lady's house.  But I can't recall exactly what she saw.  I will have to ask her about it someday.

To be sure, there was no Arrietty down there.  And the closest to it would have been had my other sister pinched me in disbelief and made me exclaim,  Aray, Ate! ( Ouch, older sister! )

And the subdivision that my family moved to, the G.S.I.S. Heights Subdivision in Matina, Davao City, also had some houses inhabited by tiny people.  I learned of two such houses.  One house, I was told, had friendly tiny people living in it that were bold enough to introduce themselves to the son of the owner of said house. These tiny people decide who they want to reveal themselves to and/or be friends with.  It is considered Good Luck to have such friends, so long as you are respectful to them and not abuse the friendship--Yeah, like, good luck with that!

If I could have such friends right now, I'd probably have them hunt down the lowlifes who stole from and trashed my Geo Metro last month.  And I'd have them put a curse on the pair of lowlifes and cause them acute pain and suffering!  Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha.  Oh, if I could only have such friends ....

word of advice:  Be self-sufficient.

tidbits:  I went back to Best Buy today to have the car alarm installation completed.  I arrived there at exactly 1:00 p.m.  But the two installers were backed-up in their work.  I was told to come back at 3:30 p.m. ( I just hate it when things don't go according to plan--my plan ).  But, I wanted to get this over with a.s.a.p.  So I agreed to come back later.

I swung by the Dollar Tree Store at the Target Shopping Center to pass the time away and to buy a bathtub mat and a 3-litre bottle of Root Beer.

Then, I drove to Selecta Pilipino Buffet for lunch.  And, would you believe it, I was not in the mood for pigging-out!  I only ate about half of what I usually eat--I should have loosened my belt by a notch, or two.

Anyway, as I went to the counter to pay for my meal, I noticed that the proprietor, Ray P., was wearing a brace on his right arm.  And he was leaning to his left while on a crutch.  He suffers from Gout.  He wasn't here the last time that I was here because of his gout.  Maybe, his condition is a warning to me not to eat Pilipino food anymore!  So, what am I gonna do when I get that certain craving for a "Taste of Home"?

I told Ray P. that I know of a doctor who did something drastic when he discovered that he had gout.  This doctor went on a strict Vegetarian Diet for One Whole Year! And that was a long-enough time for him to heal himself of gout.  Now, that's a doctor who practices what he preaches.  And, if it's good enough for a doctor, it should be good enough for everyone else.

After perusing a couple of Pilipino newspapers at the buffet to pass the time away, I walked next door to the  99 Cent Only Store to buy a 20 oz bottle of Nestea Pomegranate & Passion Fruit Red Tea to water-down the food which I just ate. Whenever I eat at a Pilipino buffet, I make sure to wash my food down with a tall can of Coconut Drink because it is high in Potassium, a mineral that counter-balances the effects of Sodium.  And, one thing about Pilipino food, it can get quite salty!  I even drank half a glass of water at the buffet on top of the Coconut drink that I had.  But these weren't enough.  I had to buy the tea next door to help-out with the counter-balancing.  ( And if you noticed, I even opted to buy a medium drink--instead of a small--at the theatre concession counter for the same reason. )

At 3:20 p.m., I was back at the install bay at Best Buy.  One of the two installers, Theo, a former co-worker of mine, and I got to talking for a bit.  He told me that he races cars at the local racetrack, Infineon Raceway, as a hobby.  I asked him if he races against cops on Wednesday nights at the racetrack.  He told me, No, because he considers it a form of "Entrapment".  Heck, I feel that way about it, too.

The local police departments in the area have a race program to keep the streets safe from crazy and reckless dragsters.  They use their police cars to drag-race against modified street cars.  And the cops almost always lose the race.  I think the cops just do that on purpose so that they can gather info on "fast and furious" cars with their on-dash cameras.  Word to the wise: Avoid drag-racing against cops.

The other installer, John, showed me the right-side door actuator.  He said that it worked, but that it wasn't connected to the wiring system at all.  He asked me if I bought the car new.  I told him that I bought it used ( It had 10,500 miles on it when I bought it back in August of 2002 ).  Maybe it was disconnected back in '05 when I had the right side door fixed after some bitch broadsided my car on Tennessee Street here in Vallejo.

Anyway ... the installation was done by 4:10 p.m.  Which left me with plenty of time to go see this movie.  So, I did.

Special Announcement:  I would like to take this time to say, Thank You and Welcome, to my readers in:


Cote d'Ivoire ( Ivory Coast )


Thank you, once again.  Please keep on reading my weekly updates.  And don't forget to tell your friends, and everyone else who you know, about my movie review blogsite.


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Sunday, February 19, 2012

GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 36 min )


where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Sunday, February 19th, 2012
show:  12:15 p.m. ( Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee )
costs:  $6.50 Ticket + $4.75 Pretzel Bites + $4.50 24 oz medium Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's Root Beer & Cherry flavors ) Coke = $15.75
auditorium:  8
seat:  5th row, 8ht column

2nd Time






where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & 1-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Monday, February 20th, 2012
show:  6:30 p.m.
costs:  $15.00 Ticket + $2.00 4.0 oz Reeses Pieces Candy ( Two Dollar Candy Monday with a movie watcher card ) + $0.00 small 30.0 oz Diet Coke + $13.72 dinner @ Hometown Buffet after the movie ( + $2.00 Tip ) = $32.72
auditorium:  9, with a 3-D screen
seat:  4th row, 7th column


synopsis/overview:   Johnny Blaze ( Nicolas Cage ) hides out somewhere in Eastern Europe to get away from it all.  But a secret order of priests tracks him down because they need his help in saving a boy, Danny ( Fergus Riordan ), from the clutches of the Devil.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Castle raid; 2.) Car chase; 3.) "Bare-ass 360"; 4.) Deal with the Devil; 5.) "Intervention of God"; 6.) Deal; 7.) Pickpocket; 8.) "I'm the people who are after you"; 9.)  Emergency room; 10.) "I want more"; 11.) Firewall; 12.) "Boyfriend/girlfriend"; 13.) "Devil's baby momma"; 14.) "Power of the Deal"; 15.) Crash; 16.) Happy camper; 17.) "Hey, I got what you need for your 'shakes"'; 18.) Illegal arms dealer; 19.) "Enough.  Let her go"; 20.) Truck stop; 21.) "Power of Decay"; 22.) "Second flame thrower"; 23.) "I hope you are finished shooting at me"; 24.) Twinkie; 25.) "Happy place"; 26.) "Spirit of Justice"; 27.) Confession; 28.) "You've been carrying this bread around for a while"; 29.) "You lied to me"; 30.) "Pretty neat, huh"; 31.) The rite; 32.) "What's the matter with your face"; 33.) "Guns and wine"; 34.) "Think of a flame thrower"; 35.) The new king; 36.) Antichrist; 37.) "That felt good"; 38.) "That's gross"; 39.) "The apple doesn't rot far from the tree"; 40.) Rescue chase; 41.) Roadkill; 42.) "You're the worst f--king deal I ever made"; 43.) "I can feel him"; and 44.) "Hell, yes!"

audience reaction:  The audience liked it.  But it didn't get a "Hands Clapper" ending.  The woman seated in the 10th column of the 6th row had a particularly fun time watching this movie.  And the young couple seated in the 6th row, too, to the left of me liked this movie enough that, after watching it, the girl called someone on her cellphone to tell that person how much she enjoyed watching this movie.

2nd audience reaction:  This particular crowd has no good ear for quips and has no good eye for sight gags at all: The very same lines of dialogue and the very same scenes that the Vallejo crowd found funny, the Fairfield crowd didn't "get" at all--it was "lost" to them.  On more than one occasion, I found myself the only one laughing at the quips and sight gags.

recommendation:  I liked it, too.  It was more fun to watch than the first one. What made this movie appealing is that it established itself early on as a Horror Comedy type of movie.  Hell, even the son of the Devil had three funny scenes in this movie!  Go see this movie if you're into Horror Comedy movies.

spoiler alert!  If he wanted to get the kid out of the car, all the bad guy had to do was smash the window to open the locked door, instead of hitting the door with his rifle butt.  Ghost Rider's jacket was made out of leather, so why did it bubble all over instead of just give-off smoke?  Ghost Rider's body couldn't have possibly done such an extensive damage on the SUV when his skeletal body was slammed hard against it.  When you're taken to the emergency room of a hospital for surgery, they usually take-off all of your clothes first.  An RPG could knock him out but a Bunker Buster couldn't ...?  If the bad guy had the Power of Decay, why didn't the ambulance he was driving get rusted?  If anything he touches decays, how was he able to capture the boy unharmed and alive in the first place?  Why didn't the rest of the posted guards hear the automatic rifle fire right away? The bad guy could have attack Johnny during the transference of Ghost Rider power.  When the bad guy landed on her vehicle's hood, why didn't Nadya ( Violante Placido ) slam on the brakes?  The vehicle didn't bounce hard when it ran over the body.  When Ghost Rider was carrying the unconscious Danny back to his mom, his head was next to Ghost Rider's head yet his hair didn't get singed.

fyi:  If you want to experience a close-approximate of what it is like to urinate a stream of  flames like the Ghost Rider does, simply get yourself infected with Gonorrhea and/or Chlamydia!

By the way, you can get Gonorrhea simply from performing Oral Sex on your infected partner.  And you could get your eyes infected by it, too!  So, be careful having sex; practice Safe Sex by wearing a Condom, a ( water-proof--good luck with that one ) Surgical Mask, and a pair of Swimming Goggles--you'll look stupid, funny and weird but you'll be safe, sexually-speaking!  LMAO

Oh, by the way, Gonorrhea is also called, "The Clap".

"If you'd been naughty and you got IT, clap your hands!
If you'd been naughty and you got IT, clap your hands!
If you'd been naughty and you got IT but you really don't want to spread IT,
If you'd been naughty and you got IT, clap your hands!"  LOL

Disclaimer:  I didn't mention this get-yourself-infected ... in my word of advice so that you can't go around blaming me for your sexually-transmitted infection, should you happen to get one.  Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha---Snort!

The scene in which the bad guy with the Power of Decay tried to eat a sandwich which just decayed in his hand, then tried to eat an apple which also decayed in his hand, and finally got to eat a Twinkie is an inside joke:  There's this belief that a Twinkie, laden as it is with too many preservatives, will last a thousand years without decaying if it is properly stored!  I'll let you know in a thousand years whether this is true or not.

Lord knows, the Twinkie will probably  be the "Manna" that we will all be eating during Jesus Christ's Millennial Reign here on Earth!  Ha, ha, ha.



But I didn't know that they have Hostess Twinkies in Eastern Europe.

word of advice:  Don't make a pact with the Devil.

tidbits:  I went to Best Buy first thing this morning to have a security car alarm installed in my Hyundai Accent. I got there at around 9:30 a.m.  And there was already another guy waiting at the install bay parking area. To while the time away, I walked around the perimeter and did my Zhunti Mantra.

The bay opened for business at 10:00 a.m.  And the installer told me that it would take him three hours to work on my car.  Well, that just ruined my plan to see this movie in 3-D at either the 11:30 a.m. or the 1:10 p.m. show at the Edwards Fairfield Stadium 16 & I-Max.

I walked across the street to the Century 14 Vallejo to check the show times for this movie.  But it was still around 10:30 a.m. when I got there and the theatre was not yet opened.

I walked back to Best Buy and saw that the installer was already at work on my car. So, I went inside the store to use the men's room and to browse around in the DVD and Software sections.  Then, I went to check on my car again.  It was still being worked on.

I walked back to the theatre and saw that this movie had a 2-D showtime for 12:15 p.m.  Well, I might as well see this movie to pass the time away while my car is being worked on, I said to myself.  But I still want to see this movie again in 3-D, just because ....

The movie let out at around 2:10 p.m.  I checked my cellphone and found out that the installer just finished with my car less than twenty minutes earlier.  That was almost four hours just for a security car alarm installation!

As I walked back to Best Buy, I spotted a Hobo hide-out behind the Pep-Boys building nearby, complete with a cardboard mat and a stick of wood for the hobo's personal security and/or safety.  The hide-out is located under the rear cement staircase.

Anyway, the installation is not completely finished, as of yet.  The installer discovered that the right side door doesn't have an actuator in it.  I will need to take it back on Tuesday, at 1:00 p.m., to have him finish the job.  But the security alarm is now operational, except for the passenger side door.

Then, I went to the post office to drop off a mail-order.

And I went to Selecta Pilipino Buffet for lunch, and to buy some lottery tickets.

Finally, before heading on home, I walked to the 99 Cent Only Store next door to buy a three litre bottle of Strawberry Kiwi Fusion soda, a trail mix, some batteries, and a few dessert cups.  Of course, Brett might argue that I could have bought most of these things--except for the soda--at Safeway.  But his manager pissed me off so much last night that I'm boycotting that particular Safeway store for the foreseeable future!

2nd tidbits:  I was the last dining patron left at Hometown Buffet.  And I wanted to have a frozen yogurt swirl to cap my dining experience before leaving the premises.  So, I went to the frozen yogurt dispensing machine to get a bowl of Vanilla & Chocolate Swirl.  When I pulled down on the center lever, the machine didn't squirt out a swirl; instead, with a loud noise, it BLASTED-OUT a clump of swirl into my cup!  Not to mention, my upper body was splattered with it, too. What a way to cap my dining experience!

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Saturday, February 18, 2012

THIS MEANS WAR, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 37 min )


Quickie Review:  Two CIA agents--and best buddies--vie for the affection of one woman, for better or for worse.

The audience liked the comedy scenes in this movie, especially the Museum Paintings scene.

I liked it enough.  I mean, there's action, comedy, and good-looking characters.  It's a good enough movie to unwind to after a hectic day at work.

Here are the things that I found wrong in this movie:  First of all, Reese Witherspoon is the wrong choice for the part of the Love Interest because she's too old for it ( she's actually older--and looks like it--than either one of her two male leads ) and she's not that beautiful, making the Love Attraction unbelievable.  I mean, look, either one of the other two women ( Tuck's [ Tom Hardy ] ex-wife and Franklin's [ Chris Pine ] flight attendant girlfriend ) in this movie is better looking than Reese.  Two little kids, without protective gear, engaging in a full-contact sparring match can only result in one thing: Lawsuit! Since they were supposedly alone in that room, why did the two spotlights follow their motions as they swung on the trapeze?  How could she not notice the tranquilizer dart right there on the couch next to his left hand?  They both should have been knocked-out by the sheer force of  impact when they fell down hard to the first floor from the restaurant's second floor--or they both should have gotten a very bad headache, at the very least ( not to mention, cracked or broken ribs ).  After their cover was blown in that well publicized incident on the freeway, I don't think that they will be able to work on high-profile cases any longer. Even though Franklin's team lost the Video Feed, they still had the Audio Feed and could pretty much guess exactly what was going on inside that room.  It was never explained why Franklin was nicknamed, FDR. And I was expecting this movie to be along the lines of  MAD MAGAZINE's "Spy Vs. Spy" cartoon comedy.

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I wonder if the New Volkswagen Beetles are as good at floating in water as the old ones were.

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Thursday, February 16, 2012

THE VOW, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 44 min )


where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Thursday, February 16th, 2012
show:  12:05 p.m.  ( Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee )
costs:  $6.50 Ticket + $1.77 bulk Chocolate Candies + $4.50 20 oz VitaminWater Essential = $12.77
auditorium:  11
seat:  4th row, 8ht column


synopsis/overview:  A newly-wed couple gets into a rear-ender accident.  The wife wakes-up from her medically-induced coma with no memory of the accident and of her marriage.  The husband does his best to win her love all over again.  Based on a true story.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Rear-end; 2.) RPP zone; 3.) Cafe Mnemonic; 4.) Rainy day presents; 5.) "Did you just fart"; 6.) Comatose state; 7.) Wedding; 8.) Scrap pile; 9.) Doctor; 10.) "Wipe the slate clean"; 11.) VIP room; 12.) "You haven't spoken to them in years"; 13.) Previous engagement; 14.) Green card; 15.) Voice mail; 16.) Surprise party; 17.) "That's total bullsh-t"; 18.) "Oh, my mother's gonna kill me"; 19.) "It's a habit"; 20.) "Zoo animal"; 21.) "You don't eat meat"; 22.) More evidence; 23.) "The usual"; 24.) 'Phone call; 25.) Forget-me-nots; 26.) Dinner; 27.) The Ex-; 28.) Sorority; 29.) Current fiance; 30.) "What turns her on"; 31.) "Night in the boathouse"; 32.) "Timeline of my life"; 33.) Studio; 34.) "Can I, at least, give you an awkward hug"; 35.) Doctor's advice; 36.) "I've got to make my wife fall in love with me again"; 37.) "Verge of genius"; 38.) Retrospective; 39.) Monthly tradition; 40.) "My lips are still numb"; 41.) "I have a tattoo.  I'm a vegetarian"; 42.) "Requisite three days"; 43.) "Free do-over in life"; 44.) Past due; 45.) Hypocrite; 46.) "I'll mull it over in bed with your wife"; 47.) "I'm so tired of disappointing you"; 48.) "I hope one day that I can love the way that you love me"; 49.) "I'm done.  It's over.  I give up"; 50.) Empty studio; 51.) Notarized document; 52.) Cat; 53.) Former best friend; 54.) "I chose to stay with him for all the things that he had done right"; 55.) Awkward moment; 56.) Law school; 57.) "I ended it"; 58.) New apartment; 59.) The wedding vow; 60.) Snow day; 61.) "My hands remember what my mind forgot"; 62.) "She happens to be right"; and 63.) Photo of the actual couple before the Ending Credits.

favorite scene:  I hate to say this, but I think that the "flying-through-the-windshield" SFX was done well.  I don't know how they managed to pull it off, but they sure did a good job of it.  Don't get me wrong, Rachel McAdams is one of my favorite actresses ( check-out my fyi ).

audience reaction:  There were mostly women in this movie.  But I didn't hear a reaction from them for the better part of the movie.  This movie didn't get a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation:  I liked it enough to give it a "Go See" recommendation.  It's more of a Date Movie than it is a Chick Flick, though.  So, keep that in mind.

P.S.  Nope, I didn't get sentimental enough to shed some tears.

spoiler alert!  I feel sorry for the extras used in the opening scene because, as soon as they stepped-out of the movie theatre, their images were immediately blurred out of focus.  They cannot brag about having a bit part in this movie at all! Who's gonna believe them?  I wonder if the Screen Actors Guild has something to say about this blurred scene.  Couldn't he just have showed her proof of their marriage a.s.a.p.? After all, they had matching wedding rings, to begin with. What about a wallet photo?  If he got rid of all of her stuff, why was her "scrap pile" just sitting out there for many months?

fyi:  I like 50 FIRST DATES ( 2004 ) better.

In the ex-fiance's office, he was wearing a leather band watch.  Leather band watches are the preferred choice among White Collar Professionals as part of their business attire.  ( And you'll also notice that he was wearing a white collar shirt. Ha, ha, ha. )

For those of you out there who don't know it yet, Rachel McAdams is an active environmentalist.  She co-founded www.greenissexy.org with a couple of her girlfriends.  After she broke-up with Ryan Gosling, I went to her website to find out her contact information because I hoped to meet with her in person--Ahem! But her website doesn't provide this info.  ( I don't have what it takes to be a good "Celebrity Stalker", what can I say.  LOL )  And if you click on their "About Us" option, you get redirected to an "Adult" web-hosting site.  Go figure ....

word of advice:  Don't make the same mistake twice.

Don't try and have sex in the middle of the road.  But if you must, keep your seatbelts on!

'Remember how they tell you to put on a clean underwear before you head on out for just-in-case you get into an accident?  But if you do get in a bad accident--Heaven forbid--more likely than not, you'd just end-up crapping and/or pissing in your pants anyway.  So, forget this stupid advice!

tidbits:  There was an earthquake at approximately 9:13 a.m. this morning.  Like yesterday's earthquake, it probably was centered just a few short miles from where I live.  Yikes!  I was in by bathroom, standing before the mirror when it happened. It felt and sounded like my upstairs neighbor slipped and fell down hard in his bathroom.  And it was over, just-like-that!  Hopefully, these two quakes were enough to relieve the pressure in the "Strike-Slip" fault line.


An hour later, I went to Benicia, CA, to pick-up my cheque.  I then went to BofA to put a deposit in my savings account.  Then, I went to the post office to drop-off some bills.  And I got some gas, and a cup of iced mocha,  at the nearby Chevron gas station.

Then, I drove back to Vallejo to pick-up my prescription at the Admiral Callaghan Lane Safeway.  I then swung by my periodontist's office to find out when my next appointment will be, and to get a bill statement for my income tax.  Then, I went to Chase Bank to put money in my checking account.  And I drove to the CSAA office to pay on my car's insurance.

Then, I went to see this movie to find-out why it's currently Number One at the Box Office.

I could see why this movie made it to Number One: It didn't disappoint; it lived-up to its "Valentine's Day" hype.  But, No, it didn't have the kind of "nudity" that I was--I mean, horndogs were--hoping for!  Bummer.  Heh, heh, heh ....

Outside, in the main lobby, is a seven-foot tall THREE STOOGES Bop Bag.  The "Moe" and "Curly" actors pictured on it are almost-exact lookalikes of the original ones; but the "Larry" actor has just a passing resemblance to the real one.  Long story short, I can't wait to see this movie!

"Oh, hiya, Sister Bernice."

"There's something different about you.  Did you get a haircut?"
( Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha--Snort!  But I shouldn't be guffawing since I'd most likely ask her the same question, myself. )

After the movie, I went to the Selecta Pilipino Buffet here in Vallejo for lunch, and to buy some lottery tickets.

Then, I went to the 99 Cent Only Store next door to buy a three-litre bottle of root beer.  ( I hope that that "Brett" character will not say, "You should have bought the root beer at Safeway!"  Since Safeway doesn't sell 3-litre bottles of any kind of soda.  So, there! )

And I swung by the nearby FCI ( Friends Connect International ) center to ask about their health care products.  They told me that the information and the customer testimonials that I needed to know were on their website, and to check them out myself.  I did.  And I got the impression that not only do they want people to buy their products, they also want people to be on their downline. Frankly, I'm tired of all these "Multi-Level Marketing/Pyramid Schemes" that really don't pan-out for the people in the downlines.  So, I guess that I'll just be buying the "health stuff" someplace else.

When I got back home, I noticed that the workers had already repaved my carport parking space.  That was good since it saved me from having to rent a room at some hotel/inn until the repaving work gets done. Because, after what happened to my Geo Metro exactly a month ago, there was no way in the world that I'd park my Hyundai Accent in the overflow parking area or at the side-street curb anymore!  Since there are too many f--king lowlifes living here in Vallejo--even before the economy took a nosedive, 'sorry to say ....

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Monday, February 13, 2012

JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND in I-MAX 3-D, PG ( 1 hr & 34 min )


where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Sunday, February 12th, 2012
show:  9:45 p.m.
costs:  $17.50 Ticket + $4.75 small ( 30 oz. ) Zero Sprite + $14.20 dinner @ Tin Tin Chinese Buffet in Vacaville, CA, before the show ( + $2.80 Tip ) = $39.25
auditorium:  12, with the I-Max screen
seat:  6th row, 9th column


synopsis/overview:  Sean ( Josh Hutcherson ) receives an encrypted message from his long-lost grandfather ( Michael Caine ) about a thought-to-be-fictional mysterious island somewhere in the Pacific.  His stepfather, Hank ( Dwayne Johnson ), who wants to bond with him, decides to help Sean find the island and search for his grandfather with the aid of a helicopter tour guide, Gabato ( Luis Guzman ), and Gabato's daughter, Kailani ( Vanessa Hudgens ).


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Swimming pool; 2.) "I'm already in jail"; 3.) "The island is real"; 4.) Three books; 5.) "We're going to Palau"; 6.) Official language; 7.) "Only a fool trades his life for money"; 8.) Desperate tour guide; 9.) Eye of the hurricane; 10.) The mysterious island; 11.) Eggs; 12.) "That's emasculating"; 13.) Tree house; 14.) "The Pec Pop of Love"; 15.) The Lost City of Atlantis; 16.) A 140-year Cycle; 17.) Captain Nemo; 18.) Mountain of gold; 19.) Bees; 20.) Campfire; 21.) Triple rate of Liquefaction; 22.) "If we die down there, Mom is gonna kill us"; 23.) Big chunk of gold; 24.) Magnetic friction; 25.) The Nautilus Submarine; 26.) "I need you to come back"; 27.) "Thousand watt smile"; 28.) The huge boulder; 29.) "That works, too"; 30.) Luxury tours; 31.) Birthday; 32.) The next planned trip; and 33.) Bonus Scenes during the Ending Credits.

favorite scenes:   I liked the Featured Short, DAFFY'S RHAPSODY.  Because Daffy Duck is my Number One favorite of all the animated cartoon characters.



I liked the Elephants scene.

I liked the Sharks scene.

audience reaction:  There was a man, a couple and a family of six in the auditorium with me.  And the four brats seemed to like this movie.  After all, they gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation:  It's a good enough "family" movie.  Take your brats to go see this movie.

spoiler alert!  A thousand dollars for college ain't gonna get you past the college bookstore--and I ain't even talkin' 'bout the cost of tuition! You need a bigger--much bigger--lizard to lay all of those eggs!  I noticed this about the egg that Gabato fell into: At the stage of its Embryonic Development, the near-hatchling's egg's Albumen should have been considerably less in volume--and all of that empty space should not have been there in the first place.  Those logs were not big enough to knock-out the giant lizard because lizards have what is called, The Reptilian Brain, a small, well-protected brain that doesn't have Cerebral Hemispheres like what is found in humans who, by the way, get easily knocked-out when the Cerebrum is "whipped" and "smashed" against the opposite wall of the skull when a hard, quick blow is delivered to the head, as from a punch. How did he build the tree house all by himself; and how was the old fart able to drag half the hull of his ship from the shore and all the way up that tree?  Okay, if the City of Atlantis lays submerged for 140 years and appears above water for another 140 years before cycling back into submersion once again, then the only things that you would find on such an island would be coconut trees ringing the shoreline, sand, silt, coral, barnacles, sponges, starfish, crabs, turtles, shells, etc. One hundred forty years is not enough time, Evolution-wise, for variegated Flora and Fauna to exist and thrive in such a unique Ecological setting.  Those bees were wild and would not like to have humans on their backs, much less have such humans steer them around like that.  And, exactly how were they able to steer the bees around? The bird collision produced an "explosion" of feathers which would be highly unlikely in real life.  It should have taken Gabato a long time to dig-up that big chunk of gold using just his hands.  They could have chipped-off pieces of gold from that big chunk. They could have used their shadows to figure-out where the North was.  How in the world did the giant electric eel miss its target on the first pass? There is nothing in this movie to suggest that the Nautilus submarine generates its own artificial field of gravity; in other words, in the fast almost-perpendicular ascent towards the surface, Hank should not have been able to walk around at all! When they torpedoed that Very Huge Boulder, they were still in the path of its blast debris. Sean and Hank better have a good stake in Gabato's new financial venture since it was they who found it in the first place!

fyi:  A few years ago, an oil company's satellite survey of the Mediterranean Sea discovered a sunken island just off the coast of Cyprus.  It is now speculated that this is the legendary ancient Lost City of Atlantis!

word of advice:  Just because there is no physical evidence for something doesn't always mean that it doesn't exist.

tidbits:  The Fortune Cookie that I was handed by the waiter at Tin Tin Chinese Buffet and which I read at 8:02 p.m. says:  "Wish you a good journey."  How strange it was that I should get this on the night that I decided to go see the movie, JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND.  Maybe, I'm destined to journey, too, to some mysterious island.

Am I the only one who noticed it or did Vanessa Hudgens look more "endowed"? Maybe, she is just a late-bloomer.  Or she had a boob-job.  Or she wore a well-padded bra.  I'm inclined to think that it's the last one:  That she wore a padded bra.  Because her wet shirt scenes didn't reveal the outline of her nipples at all.

And speaking of  Nipples ... why were Dwayne Johnson's nipples way below his Pectoral Muscles?  This, I surmise, is a cautionary result of the over-reliance on the "Pec Pop of Love" courting habit.  Don't do it!


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Saturday, February 11, 2012

SAFE HOUSE, R ( 1 hr & 55 min )


Quickie Review:  Matt Weston ( Ryan Reynolds )  yearns to be a full-pledged CIA field operative.  But he gets more than he wished for when the CIA's  most-wanted "guest", Tobin Frost ( Denzel Washington ), an ex-operative with a trail of blood in his wake,  is checked-in at Matt's safe house.

The audience enjoyed this Action/Thriller movie, with its many plot twists and turns--'not much of an "originality" there, to be sure, for this type of movie.  But, still, it was likable enough.  It didn't get a "Hands Clapper" ending, though.

I liked this movie, too.  And I'd recommend it as a "Go See" to both fans of Denzel Washington and fans of Action/Thriller movies.

Here are the things that I found wrong in this movie:  Surely, the bullets that he fired at the ground at an angle in that crowded area ricocheted someplace--or some places, even.  The safe house was attacked in daylight ... and nobody outside the building heard the firefight and the explosions?  In the safe house, when Matt shut the door, the bad guy who just killed Kiefer ( Robert Patrick ) should have heard it since he was still around the corner. In the car chase, the multiple bullets which struck the rear window of the car that Matt commandeered should have gone through and struck the inside of the windshield, and possibly the back of Matt's head, too!  In the context of the sentence which Tobin used, the correct Prepositional Phrase should have been, "... between you and me."  In the shanty town of Langa, Matt sneaked-up on a bad guy and just knocked him out--I would have killed the bad guy, if I were Matt ( one less bad guy to worry about ). When Matt reported to his superior at the CIA Headquarters, his face no longer had scabs even though the events he documented were Very Recent!!!

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Thursday, February 9, 2012

THE WOMAN IN BLACK, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 35 min )


Quickie Review:  Posted birthday Cards From over The Edge

A rich childless couple adopts the wife's sister's son born out of wedlock.  And they won't have anything more to do with her.  But tragedy strikes a few years later when the adopted son is killed and lost in a drowning accident.  Distraught over the fact that her own son was not given a proper burial, the sister kills herself.  But she returns as the vengeful ghost whom the fearful locals call, "The Woman in Black," an evil ghost that will stop at nothing to kill every single child in town.

I don't think that the audience liked this movie that much.

I didn't like this movie at all.  It's full of cheap seen-it-before scares, and the ending doesn't offer-up a satisfactory resolution.  Wait for this to come out as a rental.

Here are the things that I found wrong in this movie:  The vengeful ghost had all that time to kill the town's children one-by-one without her having to wait for the arrival of the young lawyer to act as some sort of "triggering conduit" to her malevolence.  That dog was nowhere to be seen at the times that its presence was expected/anticipated--"scaredy-cat" mutt!  The lawyer's act of appeasement was for naught.  Why didn't "The Lady in White" ghost protect her own son and/or engaged "The Woman in Black" ghost in an Afterlife Catfight?  This catfight, alone, would have been worth the price of the movie ticket.  Ha, ha, ha.  I could just see them now, ripping at each other's clothes.  Heck, yeah!  At the end, you would think that he would have been in a good position to even the score ( "Here, honey.  Hold our son while I take care of some unfinished business. Hey, bitch, why don't you pick on someone your own size?" ); and he could even have easily mustered-up support from all of the victims ( "Hold her down for me!" )--'just sayin' ....

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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

BIG MIRACLE, PG ( 1 hr & 47 min )


where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Tuesday, February 7th, 2012
show:  4:45 p.m.
costs:  $8.00 Ticket + $4.75 small ( 30 oz ) Cherry Coke + $9.40 lunch @ Tin Tin Chinese Buffet in Vacaville, CA, before the show ( + $1.60 Tip ) = $23.75
auditorium:  8
seat:  4th row, 5th column

synopsis/overview:  Cold War Thawed On Ice


In October of 1988, three California Gray Whales got trapped in North Alaska. And an unlikely team of Eskimo whalers, oil companies, Russian merchant mariners, and the US military joined together to try and save the whales.  Based on a true story.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) News; 2.) Breathing hole; 3.) Bid; 4.) Five miles; 5.) Three California Gray Whales; 6.) "Holy crap"; 7.) 'Phone tip; 8.) Press release; 9.) Frostbite; 10.) "What makes a story matter"; 11.) Governor; 12.) "P. R. thing"; 13.) Airport; 14.) "You may need them more than you think"; 15.) Town meeting; 16.) Enterprising natives; 17.) Ten thousand calories; 18.) "The ratings are what's gonna keep the rescue going"; 19.) Fred, Wilma and Bam-bam; 20.) Wall of ice; 21.) "Stereophonic explosion"; 22.) "It's forty now"; 23.) Make-up; 24.) Whale fluke; 25.) Publicity stunt; 26.) Headphones; 27.) Superman; 28.) Progress report; 29.) "Sounds like pneumonia"; 30.) Hootkin De-Icer; 31.) "Not sucking-up, too"; 32.) "Are you Mexican"; 33.) Power generator; 34.) Pilot's eye; 35.) "Bubbling jacuzzi";  36.) Seventh report on the whales; 37.) Bad news; 38.) Breathing holes; 39.) Glasnost; 40.) Bubble gum; 41.) "Let's get back to the whales"; 42.) Pep talk; 43.) "He's gone"; 44.) "You're not as easy to hate as I thought"; 45.) Town effort; 46.) Flags; 47.) Thirty knots; 48.) "I'm gonna miss them"; 49.) "After" stories; and 50.) Bonus scenes and pictures during the Ending Credits.

audience reaction:  The audience liked this movie.  But it didn't get a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation:  I liked this movie, too.  It is a good Family movie to take your little brats to.

spoiler alert!  The breathing hole for the whales kept switching from free-of-ice to frosting-over-with-ice.  In the true story, one of the whales was named, Bone. Did they really have to keep the helicopter doors wide open?  They could just have kept the doors slightly ajar.  And even if they turned-off the generator to keep the helicopter doors closed, there were enough people in the helicopter to keep the generator relatively warm.  And, besides, when a generator is turned-off, it's not gonna turn icy-cold in an instant:  It will just gradually cool down--and the rescue site was just a few minutes away via helicopter!  When her cameraman left her, why didn't she just pick-up the camera and film the unfolding drama herself?  How in heck did the Russians get access to an American flag?

fyi:  I really don't know why this escaped my attention back in '88.

There were elements about the true story that were kept away from the Big Screen.  For example, there were two Russian icebreaker merchant ships involved in the rescue:  The Vladimir Arsenev and the Admiral Makarov.  Two search-and-rescue helicopters ferried people between Barrow, Alaska, and the trapped whales; and the helicopters also landed on the deck of the Admiral Makarov a number of times.  Those Eskimo whalers were paid by the state to cut holes in the ice, it wasn't an all-volunteer effort.  The Alaska National Guard CH54 Skycrane was put out of commission for several days when its rotor blade got split in the bitter cold.  After their escape, the whales actually went back into their icy trap a day later.  My guess is that they went looking for the third one before they finally gave up, turned around and left for good.

The rescue operation cost at least a million dollars.

word of advice:  Find a good "Common Ground" with those that you are at odds with and work towards an amicable resolution.

tidbits:  So, at Tin Tin Chinese Buffet, I was at the trough--I mean, buffet island--just piling heaps of food on my plate when I noticed something odd about the instrumental music playing through the speakers.  It was a Christmas instrumental: Silver Bells!  Yeah, like, "soon it will be Christmas Day" in about 321 days. Hah!

And I pigged-out at that place for about an hour just waiting for Silver Bells to cycle-over once again.  But I guess someone got wise to it and switched the CDs on me.  Darn ....

This movie is telling me to move to Barrow, Alaska, where I can pig-out once a day at Chinese Buffets and still lose weight!  Because, even though I pig-out at buffets three times a week on average, I don't think that I even get anywhere close to eating 10,000 calories a day!  And, who knows, I just might end-up having Sarah Palin as an occasional dinner date!  We could both look at Russia through the window.  That would be nice ....  Ahem!

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Year of 1989, month of October:  A pod of California Gray Whales are in North Alaska.

Whale 1:  Yup, me and the missus were here last year.  And we met a bunch of really kind, caring and friendly Alaskan natives.  That's why we're here this year: To say, Hi, and to thank them for---Ouch!  What's that thing on my back?!?!?!

Whale 2:  Dude, I think that they just harpooned you.


Special Announcement:  I would like to take this time to say, Thank You and Welcome, to my readers in:


Anguilla


Thank You, once again.  Please keep on reading my weekly updates.  And don't forget to tell all of your friends, and everyone else who you know, about my movie review blogsite.


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MAN ON A LEDGE, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 42 min )

I'm a-gettin' a tickly-weakly feelin'

Quickie Review:   A former cop/escaped felon climbs onto a hotel's ledge to prove his innocence in the theft of a very rare diamond.  As a crowd gathers below with 'bated breath, a plan is in the works to recover the supposedly stolen diamond.  But time is a-tickin' ....

The audience liked this Suspense/Thriller.

It's a good enough entertainment, especially a scene with Elizabeth Banks and another one with Genesis Rodriguez in it.  Anyway ... go see this movie if you like Suspense/Thrillers and Hot Chicks!  ( Well, in this movie, that would be more like a Hot Chick and a Hot Hen.  LOL )

Have you guys out there ever had the experience where you're on top of a very tall building and you look at the street below, only to get a "Tickly-Weakly" feeling in your testicles?  Well, this movie gave me such a feeling--and it's not even in 3-D!!!   ( Maybe, I was a "man on a ledge" in one of my past lives, huh? )

Here are the things that I found wrong in this movie:  The Building Codes in these here the United States were revised in the '20s or '30s so that buildings with more than 20 floors were no longer allowed to have windows that could be completely opened, for reasons of Safety and Ventilation.  Or was that Ventilation, first, and Safety, second ...?  I would sue that helicopter pilot for reckless endangerment!  I used to work at a hotel ( the Concord Hilton in Concord, CA ) so I know that there was no way for that person to masquerade as an employee for that entire time without management catching-on to it. Because employees have to clock-in first then report to a supervisor or manager for their work duties before starting their shifts; in other words, they can't just go and do whatever it is that they want to do.  There was no reason at all why Lydia ( Elizabeth Banks ) could not talk to Nick ( Sam Worthington ) through the window immediately next to him--hey! maybe that window was stuck shut. Ha, ha, ha. Why couldn't they just visually ID him sooner since there were still  cops on the force that he used to work with?  Wouldn't that micro-camera attached to the underside of the pin-pad's security hood just get in the way?  Why was the suspect left uncuffed?  Where was that damn helicopter when it was needed to witness the rooftop event?  The bad guy who got shot was wearing a bullet-proof vest; so, why did not he make sure that the bad guy was put out of action first, being that he, himself,  was a cop, and should have known better than to turn his back on the armed bad guy?

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Saturday, February 4, 2012

CHRONICLE, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 24 min )


Quickie Review:  An introvert, his cousin, and their schoolmate happen upon a mysterious glowing object at the bottom of a tunnel.  For some unknown reason, the object somehow gives each of them the power of Telekinesis which develops exponentially.  But with this superpower comes super responsibility, something that none of them anticipated nor are prepared to handle.

The audience liked it.  It played well for its target audience:  Teens.

I liked it, too.  I really thought that it was going to be just another stupid movie. But the second half got my attention.  Go see this if you're into Teen Action/Coming-of-Age Movies with a supernatural twist.

Here are the things that I found wrong in this movie:  First thing, they could have come up with a better movie poster!  The Yard Lines on the Football Field were really uneven--like some f--king idiot didn't know how to measure with a Yardstick!  Didn't his father have a key to his bedroom door?  The hood of a jacket is not gonna stay put on someone's head for long if that someone is flying in the air at fast speed.  And that guy's jacket should have ballooned-up as he flew through the air. I can't believe that none of them sang, "I Believe I Can Fly," an R. Kelly song.  This is yet another movie in which the Black Guy is the first one to get himself killed!   Those three teeth were pulled from across the hallway, not downwards; so, the bully should have been yanked forward instead of straight down.  Believe me, you have to be strong to pull-out healthy teeth--some dentists can't even pull-out bad teeth because they are not strong enough ( Trust me, I know since I have it on good authority! ).  That loud, heated argument that he had with his cousin in his bedroom should have been heard by his parents.  When he landed in front of one of the four thugs that he was after, the asphalt on the road cracked--it shouldn't have happened because he was not that heavy nor did he descend from a high altitude.  Why was there a home movie camera at the foot of his hospital bed since we all know that he didn't put it there himself?  After the explosion in the hospital room, what happened to the policemen posted to stand watch outside the room?  Why did he take so long to drop his dad after the explosion?  A man falling down while his nephew is flying up to catch him in mid-air is like a head-on collision, Physics-wise: A very bad idea. Why was the girl documenting her own near-death experience, holding the video camera steadily the way that she did, instead of flailing her arms helplessly around? He had the power of Telekinesis, which has nothing to do with cutting metal objects cleanly in half; in other words, he could only have telekinetically-pulled the spear out of the statue's hand and neither had been able to cut-off the arm first nor simultaneously, for that matter.

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ONE FOR THE MONEY, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 31 min )



where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Tuesday, January 31st, 2012
show:  9:40 p.m.
costs:  $9.75 Ticket + $4.75 Pretzel Bites + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavor ) Coke + $5.89 # 11 Filet-o-Fish Comb Meal w/ medium Sweet Tea @ the Target Shopping Center MacDonald's Restaurant before the show = $24.39
auditorium:  11
seat:  4th row, 7th column


synopsis/overview:  Stephanie Plum ( Katherine Heigl ) has been out of a job for six months and, desperate for some quick and easy money, she convinces her sleaze-ball cousin to hire her as a recovery agent/ bounty hunter at his bail bonds company.  The biggest ticket at which is the one on her former high school boyfriend.  But Stephanie soon realizes that this case is not "air-tight" and the reward money will not be so quick and easy.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Dinner; 2.) Figure of speech; 3.) Chatty; 4.) Grudge; 5.) The hide-out; 6.) Trick; 7.) "You smell like a dumpster"; 8.) "Trying to diversify"; 9.) Hydra-Shok bullet; 10.) Gym; 11.) Rapist; 12.) Dinner date; 13.) 'Phone call; 14.) "I need money"; 15.) Exhibitionist; 16.) "Honey, half the women in Jersey sold him their Cannoli"; 17.) Master Fuse; 18.) Shower; 19.) Scene of the crime; 20.) Witness; 21.) "One hundred twenty-five pounds of angry woman"; 22.) Ice cold; 23.) Hospital; 24.) "Now, it's personal"; 25.) "I need your help"; 26.) "Best option"; 27.) Rival; 28.) "You want it bagged"; 29.) "One mile, tops"; 30.) Sal's Meats; 31.) Sal's Gal; 32.) Fight; 33.) Taped confession; 34.) Acknowledgement; and 35.) Cupcake.

audience reaction:  It was not that well-received by the audience since it came across as rather lame.

recommendation:  This Comedy/Action Movie is not well-scripted, not well-acted and certainly not well-directed.  I could have done a better job of directing this pedestrian effort.  Wait for this to come out as a rental.

spoiler alert!  Bounty hunting is a dangerous job.  So, why didn't they give her some preliminary training before setting her loose on the hunt?  If  Ranger ( Daniel Sunjata ) was the best in the business, why did the job of hunting down Joseph Morelli ( Jason O'Mara ) given to Morty Beyers ( Fisher Stevens ), instead? Why wasn't the sparring match in the octagon monitored by a referee or a trainer?  Why didn't anybody in the gym notice the bad guy manhandling her in the octagon?  Her driver's side door was smashed; but, when she drove off, her window looked completely rolled down and there were no pieces of glass on the ground at all.  I've seen more than enough cars with their side windows smashed--including mine--to know that pieces of broken glass will always be on the ground directly below such a broken car window.  The bullet could have easily shot through that roasted chicken!  She was handcuffed to a shower curtain rod--A SHOWER CURTAIN ROD!!!  And shower curtain rods are held in place only by spring tension and by a screw adjustment.  In other words, she didn't need to call anyone to free her from such a predicament because she could have easily freed herself.  ( Please don't tell me that there is a "Dumb Blonde" joke subtly worked into that Handcuff scene.  Because she's not blonde in this movie!  Ha, ha, ha. ) Did she really have to take the shower curtain off the curtain rod?  And how come her shower curtain didn't have a curtain liner?  By gosh, I could easily make-out the outline of her right breast's areola--not that I'm complaining, mind you.    Why did the rival bounty hunter say, "F--k God"?  It was a stupid and senseless exclamation.  "F--k you" would have made more sense to use in that scene.  The bad guys could have easily disposed of that body since one of them was in a particular kind of business ( "Mystery Meat", anyone ...? ).  Why didn't she give him the truck's license plate number and description?  When they were at the boat dock, it got dark all of a sudden.  For someone who just got shot in the butt, she sure could walk okay.

fyi:  I know someone who had Lap Band surgery for weight loss.  According to this person, a normal stomach is the size of a football.  But with such a surgical procedure, the stomach's capacity is reduced to a size smaller than that of a tennis ball.  And said person has to eat six small meals, and take a therapeutic multi-vitamin/mineral supplement, each day.

Okay, I already take a multi-vitamin/mineral supplement each and every day.  So, I'm good on that.  I just have to stop eating two football-sized servings of food whenever I'm pigging-out at a buffet.  But, seriously though, despite the fact that I pig-out at buffets every week, I am actually losing my abdominal fat--AND I HAVE TO PIG-OUT ONCE OR TWICE EACH WEEK SO I DON'T LOSE TOO MUCH WEIGHT ( and too much fat ) TOO FAST AND END-UP JUST STRAINING MY HEART AND MAKING MY SKIN LOOSE AND SAGGY!  With my abdominal fat shrinking fast, I can just say, Goodbye, to my "Love Handles" because it's getting so that there is less and less about me to love.  Boo-hoo, woe is me ....

What, Katherine Heigl ... nude?!?!?!  How could I miss that?!?!?!  I must have blinked at the WRONG time--I was startled in my seat because of it.  I'm losing my touch!  It comes with age, I guess ....  Ha, ha, ha.

word of advice:  Know what you are trying to get yourself into before you accept a job offer.

tidbits:  I had just eaten dinner at MacDonald's and swore to myself that I would not buy any snacks at the concession counter.  But when I saw that last snack tray of Pretzel Bites laden with an extra helping of pretzels ( it was practically twice the usual serving )--I couldn't resist buying it just because!

By the way, in my Cebuano language, a true native would pronounce "Filet of Fish" as: Pee-let op Piss.  Ha, ha, ha--snort!  Hey, don't be laughing at my people's native accent.  What's the matter with you ...?

After the movie, I went to the Super Wal-Mart in American Canyon, CA, to buy a multi-pack of Charmin Basic Bathroom Tissue, single ply ( Wal-Mart and Target are the only stores in the area that I know of which carry this particular kind )--the only type of bathroom tissue that touches my own butt at home!


I also bought a loaf of bread, five bananas, and two 2-litre bottles of soda: Sparkling Strawberry Lemonade and Diet Twist-Up Lemon-Lime.

It was already past midnight when I was done with my shopping, and a new day ( Wednesday )--and a new month ( February )--had just begun.

On my way home while driving down Sonoma Boulevard, as soon as I passed the Highway 37 over-pass around 12:32 a.m. or 12:33 a.m., I saw a shooting star blazed an amber streak down the horizon in front of my car.  It was visible for just a fraction of a second.  Where were my lightning-quick ocular reflexes a few hours ago when I needed their help to "review" a critical ( Shower ) scene in the movie ...?  Ha, ha, ha.

Once I got home, I proceeded to make myself a tall glass of Safeway Select Key Lime Pie Ice Cream and Diet Twist-Up Lemon-Lime Float.  Hmm ... yummy.

Then, I made myself a tall glass of Safeway Select Strawberry Shortbread Cookie Ice Cream and Sparkling Strawberry Lemonade Float.  'Not so yummy ....

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