COWBOYS & ALIENS, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 58 min )

This picture didn't come out looking right.  But, I like the "evaporating neon lights" effect.

where:  CENTURY ROWLAND PLAZA in Novato, CA
when:  Friday, July 29th, 2011
show:  12:01 a.m.
cost:  $10.75 Ticket + $5.00 Nachos + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke = $19.75
auditorium:  2
seat:  3rd row, Middle section, 5th seat

synopsis/overview:  Butt-naked Alien Gold-diggers from Outer Space


An amnesiac stranger ( Daniel Craig ) comes to the town of  Absolution where strangers are not welcome.  But, when an alien force threatens the town, the townspeople  turn to the one man with a secret and mysterious past--and a fancy doodad on his wrist--that could help them against this alien threat: The man with--for the time being--no name.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Scalpers; 2.) "Only two kinds of  men get shot"; 3.) "Damn fool Dolarhyde kid ( Percy = Paul Dano )"; 4.) "Maybe, you don't know who I am"; 5.) "Money makes you soft"; 6.) Saloon; 7.) Jail; 8.) "Nobody calls me Colonel"; 9.) Wanted fugitive; 10.) Paddy wagon; 11.) Strange lights in the night sky"; 12.) Activated doodad; 13.) Crashed; 14.) Wounded and bleeding; 15.) "What do you want"; 16.) "It's tracks are still fresh"; 17.) Memory; 18.) Search party; 19.) Up-side down riverboat; 20.) "I lost 328 men over a cornfield"; 21.) Target practice; 22.) Close encounter; 23.) Prayer for the dead; 24.) "Take it!  Be a man"; 25.) Boss; 26.) Camp; 27.) "He said, 'The whore"'; 28.) "Demons took your gold"; 29.) "You'll always be my favorite"; 30.) Chase; 31.) "Can you swim"; 32.) "You remember now, don't you"; 33.) "She's gone"; 34.) Apache camp; 35.) "I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell you"; 36.) "You shouldn't talk"; 37.) Scouts; 38.) Memory potion; 39.) Lab experiment; 40.) "I know where they are"; 41.) "There's another way in"; 42.) "You got a choice"; 43.) Interpretation; 44.) "You ready to get your son back"; 45.) Matches; 46.) "This is how they get the gold out"; 47.) "Go, get Percy! Get your son"; 48.) "Don't look at the light"; 49.) "You have to stop thinking"; 50.) "Goodbye, Jake"; 51.) Pissed-off  Alien "Doctor"; 52.) The mother ship; 53.) New cheques; 54.) Bigger town; and 55.) "She's in a better place."

There's a special treat for all of  you Horndogs out there  with super-quick eyes: Two Wet "T-Shirt"  scenes.


audience reaction:  There wasn't much of  a positive response from this crowd.

recommendation:  The movie, itself, isn't as good as its premise.  This movie is mindless fun away from the summer sun.  Pass the time away by seeing this movie.

spoiler alert!  I chose the above movie poster for its obvious sexual innuendo:  Jake Lonergan's ( Daniel Craig ) phallic object  held between Ella Swenson's ( Olivia Wilde ) legs.  "Don't worry, girl.  This pistol is 'unholstered' because I'm just 'shooting blanks'."   Ha, ha, ha.  Hey, I'm not the ( porno ) Graphic Designer who made the poster; I'm just simply pointing-out the oh-so-obvious.

Since the dog originally belonged to the scalpers, shouldn't it  have barked at the stranger?  That dog was such a "turncoat", willing and ready to switch allegiance at the drop of  a body.  The heat from his cowboy hat and this own sweat would easily have caused  the photograph to deteriorate at a fast rate.  Percy's hand was broken to slip-off  the manacle.  So, Percy could not have moved said hand normally for more than a few days and should have kept his hand steady and close to his body to minimize the pain that would inevitably result from moving an injured hand all about.   Couldn't the aliens have programmed their powerful weapons not to shoot at their own spaceships?  Why did the other aliens hightail it out of  there as soon as one of  their aircrafts got hit and crashed ?  How did the up-side down riverboat end up in the middle of  nowhere since the aliens showed no predilection for stranding their intended victims in such a way?  If  the riverboat was up-side down, why was a framed painting still hanging on the wall?  Those Alien chest appendages look like something that us Earthmen  use to grope Earthwomen's breasts with: Touchy-feely hands.  Heh, heh, heh.  At one point in the Apache camp, the chief, Black Knife ( Raoul Trujillo ) seemed to understand English well enough.  Okay, so the Apaches who know the area like the back of their hand never noticed the strange structure sticking out of  the ground.  The aliens are supposed to have poor daytime vision and, therefore, prefer to be underground in the daytime.  But the aliens sure moved fast in broad daylight and had no trouble chasing down and/or pouncing on their human enemies!  And, since these aliens preferred  to be underground in the daytime, how was Jake able to escape from the alien "doctor"'s lab in the first place during daylight hours?  I don't think I'd be able to stop thinking if  a hot and sexy girl were to deep-kiss me--I'd be thinking about what to do next while I still had the chance!  Since dead beings are incapable of  thought, logic says that those dozens of dead aliens in the underground tunnels had their wrist-weapons automatically come-off:  In other words, Jake, Colonel Dolarhyde ( Harrison Ford ), the Apache Chief  and all their men would have/should have  ended-up sporting the fancy wrist doodads at the end.  ( But they didn't .... )  There was no way that they could have gotten out of  the tunnel safely as the alien spaceship was starting to take-off:  The shooting flames would have "blow-torched" them into crispy-critters!  The Aliens' hunting spacecrafts flew using alien technology propulsion but--and it's a BIG BUT--their mothership took-off  into the sky propelled by what could only be "garden variety" human technology rocket fuel!!!  Which stupid rocket scientist did they consult when they made this movie?  They should have consulted  me, Cine-Man, as they were making this movie!  When the BIG  alien spaceship exploded in the sky, nobody ran for cover because the only blast debris shown were gold "coins", gold flecks and gold dust.  Did you see the size of  that spaceship, and did you notice that they were all standing around very near the spaceship's launch site?  Yet, there were no blast debris of  considerable size to  rain down on the on-lookers when the alien spaceship exploded!!!!  How dumb is that?!?!?!

fyi:  Scalping was introduced into this country by the Dutch, if  I'm not mistaken.  I guess the Dutch started scalping the Native Americans because the balding- and thinning-haired Europeans  were envious of  the natives' thick head of  hair!  Maybe, to the Dutch, no wig would just do, they wanted their hair substitute to be as natural as possible--'just assuming.

Do you remember the movies, LIFEFORCE ( 1985 ) with Mathilda May and SPECIES ( 1995 ) with Natasha Henstridge?  Well, the director of  this movie should have taken the hint from the directors of  the two previously-mentioned movies and shown its female alien in the same way to elevate this movie above its campy B-grade quality.  'Nuf  said ....


word of  advice:  There's good in the Bad, and there's bad in the Good.


tidbits:  I bought my ticket on Wednesday night because I had to go to Novato, CA, to shop at the Big!Lots discount store after work.  But the Big!Lots store  is no longer there.  A Dollar Tree Store now occupies its former place.

I then went to Super Buffet for dinner since I reasoned that I had boycotted this place long enough ( two-plus years )--see my blog on PUBLIC ENEMIES ( 2009 ) to remember/know what I'm talking about.  That same ol' waitress was there, so I made sure to finish all of  the rice on my plate; and I ended-up with no more room in my tummy for plate # 3, the Dessert Plate!  In other words, I didn't get my money's worth.  And that  was twice in a row that I didn't get to have a Dessert Plate.

And the food wasn't even that good.  The Onion Rings were hard as rubber--I'm not exaggerating here.  The French Fries were really salty.  The Dumplings, all four kinds, were soggy.  The Fried Squid was hard and salty.  The Rice was overdone.  And a few other dishes were dried-up, soggy and/or salty.  I shouldn't have dined-in at this place in the first place.  Maybe, I should boycott this place for another two years.

I think that there's still a Fresh Choice Buffet Restaurant across the freeway from this place.  I'll go there next time.

And they only had forks.  They didn't have knives or spoons.  Can you believe that?  Well, they had spoons, sort of:  Flimsy plastic soup spoons and  Chinese-style soup spoons.  I guess it was their way of  getting back at us for not having chopsticks in our western-style restaurants for their sole use.

Or, maybe, they want us to take longer to eat and end up getting full before we can get a chance to eat too  much of  their food.  Heck, if  they want us to lose our appetite sooner than later, all they have to do is have that waitress hover around us to make sure that we eat every single speck of  rice on our plates!  That will make anybody lose his/her appetite right-quick.

Then, I went to Century Rowland Plaza to initially see the Harry Potter movie again just so I could get another collector's item Special Edition 3-D glasses.  But they were completely out of  it.  I just went ahead and  bought a midnight show ticket for this movie. 

On the way home, south-bound 101 was gridlocked  because Cal-Trans was re-paving the right-side lane.  I think it will be the same situation when I go home on Friday after the midnight show is over.

***************************

Thursday, the 28ht, I spent almost two hours trying and figuring-out how to make two copies of  the same CD track on a single disc.  Hector wanted to try out my Delta Brainwave Frequency Meditation CD so that he could relax better and end up with a better night's sleep.  I made him a 30-minute long single track CD.  But he said that,  although it helped him sleep better, he wanted a "double-dose" of  it to really knock him out for the night.  So, I made him a "double-dose" copy.

And since I lost track of  time with my CD-burning preoccupation, I forgot that one of  my co-workers, Chris ( a Filipino-Mexican who wants to connect with his Filipino side ),  was supposed to treat me to a buffet lunch at  Selecta Filipino Buffet here in Vallejo.  When I called him to tell him that I was on my way, he told me that we have to reschedule since he had to go to Concord, CA.  How I could completely forget about Free Food is  beyond me!

So, I went to my place of  employment in Benicia, CA, to pick-up my check, to make a deposit at the local BofA, and to drive all the way to Oakland, CA, to give Hector the meditation CD copy that I made for him.  ( Just as an aside, I probably have over $4,000.00 worth of  meditation/spiritual CDs scattered all over my condo--and I used only about a quarter of  them, at ... the ... most. )

Anyway, at Hector's place, we watched a DR. OZ episode on a 700-pound woman and National Geographic's TV programs on VAMPIRES, HUBBLE TELESCOPE  and THE INDESTRUCTIBLES.  All the while, I was also able to manage starting this blog and cooking Spaghetti for everybody, and playing with Tiger, the kitten, who's almost full-grown now.  Opps! I forgot to give doggie treats to Tiger's Pit-Bull puppy friend, Two-Face,  and her mom, Mercedes.

*****************************

The drive on South-bound 101 after the midnight show wasn't bad at all, hardly any traffic.  But, once I got on Highway 37, some crappy car with a really soft suspension was bouncing around behind me for the entire length of the highway, approximately 16 miles!  It was like its driver was intermittently high-beaming me all the way.  God, that was so irritating.  And I couldn't do anything about it since Highway 37 is mostly just one lane each way.  I couldn't even pull over and let the idiot pass because there are rumble bars on either side of  the lane that would just potentially damage my car's ball bearings if I did--it happened to my Geo Metro.

From Highway 37, I made a left on Sonoma Boulevard to go to Wal-Mart to buy some Charmin Toilet Tissue ( single ply ) and a replacement flush valve for my toilet tank ( Peerless Toilet Flapper, WM-F618 ).

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS, R ( 2 hr & 0 min )

*

where:  CENTURY ROWLAND PLAZA in Novato, CA
when:  Saturday, July 23rd, 2011
show:  10:15 p.m.
costs:  $10.75 Ticket + $5.00 Snack Pack = $15.75
auditorium:  2
seat:  4th row, Middle Section, 6th seat

synopsis/overview:  Dylan ( Justin Timberlake ) and Jamie ( Mila Kunis ) each just got out of  a bad relationship. After having met, and after having sworn-off  relationships, they decide to be each other's "f--k buddy". But things get complicated when they start falling for each other.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) "Give me your pants"; 2.) The break-ups; 3.) Airport; 4.) "This is great, by the way"; 5.) Weird ex-boyfriend; 6.) "Eight months ago"; 7.) Rooftop; 8.) Flash mob; 9.) "Congratulations, Sell-Out"; 10.) New job; 11.) Emotionally unavailable/damaged; 12.) Party; 13.) Black light face paint; 14.) TV show; 15.) "Let's play 'tennis'"; 16.) Bible App; 17.) "A naked girl is laying naked on top of  you and you feel emasculated"; 18.) "Strictly dickly"; 19.) "Mom, 'Who's Your Daddy Game' is getting old"; 20.) The park; 21.) Five-Date Rule; 22.) "I was sleeping standing up"; 23.) Date # 5; 24.) "Who's Annie"; 25.) "Go f--k yourself"; 26.) Background check; 27.) "I know you'll be fine alone, you're not a baby in a hot car"; 28.) "She's from New York"; 29.) "What's with the pants"; 30.) Photo album; 31.) Kriss-Kross; 32.) Breakfast; 33.) Alzheimer's; 34.) "6 x 3 = 92"; 35.) Hollywood sign; 36.) TV news; 37.)  Overheard personal conversation; 38.) Abrupt departure; 39.) Work ethic; 40.) Voice mail; 41.) "How'd you know I was up here"; 42.) The photo shoot; 43.) "You live in fear of  repeating my mistakes"; 44.) "You gonna join me"; 45.) "I'm kidding.  I can't joke about this"; 46.) 1937 Chris Craft Sportsman speedboat; 47.) "Hi, Dave from across the hall"; 48.) Grand Central Station flash mob; 49.) Best friend back; 50.) Central Cafe; 51.) Hey, Soul Sister; and 52.) Outtakes after the Ending Credits.


favorite scenes:  I liked the spliced opening scene where the two couples were talking to each other.

And I liked the Kinky Girl scene.

audience reaction:  The women in the predominantly female audience liked this movie.

recommendation:  This is not my kind of  a movie.  It's a "Chick Flick". Go see this if  you're into such movies or if  your girlfriend/wife is forcing you to go see it with her.

spoiler alert!  She went to work without washing her face or taking a shower first--this is the only way to explain the black light face paint ( funny but senseless ).  The sex scene montage was really unnecessary.  I mean, okay, we get it:  They're "f--k buddies"!  But since they put in the sex scene montage, the least that they could have done was shown nudity in this R-rated movie!  After all, the object of  a sex scene is not to  frustrate but to tit-illate;  and you cannot tit-illate the audience if you don't show a tit ( more would be nice, of course  ) since an exposed female breast without its nipple ( i.e., teat or tit ) shown does not qualify as nudity--it's about as "stimulating" as looking at breasts with pasties or censor bars on! The "Blanket Sex" was ruined when Dylan popped his head out from under the blanket, ruining the illusion that only one, instead of  two, blanket was used.  How in the world did he get in a managerial position when he couldn't even do simple arithmetic?  The Grand Central Station "Flash Mob" didn't make sense because Dylan could not have organized it on such a short notice since 1.) He didn't yet know that many people in New York; 2.) They would have needed time to practice the moves and 3.) It would take days--even weeks--to coordinate such an event.


fyi:  I have a co-worker, Alex, who wanted to have a "Freeze-Frame Flash Mob."  She told me that I was welcomed to join-in.  But I politely declined because I told her that on the appointed freeze-frame time I'd probably be driving down the freeway--bad idea!

There's a funny amateur music home video from the 70s on the internet about Censor Bars.  You don't even have to go to YouTube.  Just go on Google and type-in, Censor Bar.  You should see as one of  the search results:  Censor Bar Fun.  Click on it and enjoy.

I had "Blanket Sex" once as a kid back when my family lived in Matina, Davao City, Mindanao, Philippines.  A friend of  mine took me  up to his parents' bedroom where his two female cousins were waiting for us in bed. The two sisters covered themselves with a blanket and allowed us to "dry-hump" them.  I was doing the younger sister but I really wanted to do the older sister since she was more beautiful.  So, I switched places with my friend.  But as soon as the older one found out that it was I, not her cousin, who was on top of  her, she punched me in the face.  As if  "Friction Burn" wasn't bad enough, I had to get punched in the face, too!  And, to add insult to injury--injuries in this case--she made fun of  the fact that I wasn't yet circumcised; unlike her cousin who was.  I resolved to get myself circumcised after  that day.

If  you haven't done so yet, you should check out my blog on the movie, YEAR  ONE ( 2009 ), and learn of  my circumcision day.  I posted it in June of  2009.

word of  advice:  Nothing in Life is free.


tidbits:  I had to go to Santa Rosa, CA, today, after work, for my Aunt's 80th birthday party.  I got home, rested for a while, took a shower, got dressed in "Casual Elegance" ( I had to look it up on the Internet ), and got on my way.  Just to be on the safe side though, I wore my two-tone Invicta Automatic Watch.

But before I got home from work, I went to the 99-Cent Only Store on Springs Road to buy a 4-pack of Eveready AAA batteries for my digital camera.  And since I would be arriving late at the party, and since I forgot to RSVP my cousin, I stopped by and had a buffet lunch at the Selecta All-You-Can-Eat Filipino Buffet right next door.

My Aunt's birthday party was held at  the Santa Rosa Veteran's Memorial Auditorium, approximately 51 miles from my place.  So, I decided to get some gas first at the Chevron gas station on the corner of Couch Street and Redwood Street here in Vallejo, CA.

When I was nearing the intersection of  North Camino Alto and Sereno Drive, a white woman got into her black Chrysler 300M ...

This Chrysler 300M is similar to the one driven by that white woman who tried to run-down a black man in front of me.

and cut me off.  She aimed her car at a black man holding a two-liter Pepsi bottle in his right hand.  She was trying to run him down!  She missed and ended-up in the middle of  the intersection.  Then, she turned her car around and tried to hit the man again.  She came within six feet of  hitting the driver's side of  my car ( I had stopped my car to avoid the two of them )--this is what I was talking about in the tidbits section of  my previous post: About a curse possibly back-firing on you! When she saw me, she took-off.  Maybe it was either because I'd be a witness to her crime or she didn't want her more expensive car to get damaged by my cheap, second-hand 2001 Hyundai Accent! This incident occurred at around 6:48 p.m. I was gonna call 911 but, since nothing serious happened, I didn't. I just drove to the gas station  and got $16.00 worth of  gas.

This is where my aunt's birthday party was held. There were about 300 people, by my estimate, at the party.  And there was still plenty of  food when I got there shortly before 8:00 p.m. Even though I already ate at  an all-you-can-eat buffet earlier, I MADE SURE TO MAKE ROOM IN MY TUMMY FOR MORE FOOD--there was no sense in letting all that good food go to waste--especially since it was FREE food! And I learned that I have a special talent: I can eat food using nothing but a plastic knife! They had ran out of  plastic forks and spoons--or, maybe, they hid all of  them because they saw me coming! Next time, I'll try using a couple of  plastic knives like a pair of  chopsticks--that should work.

There was dancing--but I was too full to join in on the fun. They even had a Mariachi Band playing at THE  Filipino party. And I was just waiting for the band to play, Amor Para Tu ( read my 2nd tidbits on Harry Potter to refresh your memory ).

This is my cousin who organized the birthday party for her mother, shown in the picture next to her.

This is my niece taking a group photo of ...

her father and her eldest brother along with his wife and daughters.

The guy in the middle is my nephew, the other brother of  my niece shown above.

There were also other relatives there that I hadn't seen in years. So, it was quite a reunion, of sorts. But I don't remember the names of most of them; and I didn't bother to ask for fear of  embarrassment!

And my brother was there, too. When he saw the shirt that I was wearing, he asked, "Why is everyone here wearing purple?" And I answered, Because they all want to look like me! What else could my answer have been, Purple Vain ...?

I took other pictures but I found out the hard way that once the batteries inside a digital camera get weak, all indoor shots get crappy-looking--really crappy-looking! They came out looking blurrier than my vision is when I don't have my glasses on. I need to splurge a little and buy a better camera--or good quality batteries that are not sold at some cheap dollar store!

On my commute home, I went to see this movie in Novato, CA, because I still wasn't feeling sleepy at all and because I wanted to have an excuse to blog about my day's events.

*

CAPTAIN AMERICA : THE FIRST AVENGER, PG-13 ( 2 hr & 4 min )

where:  UA EMERY BAY STADIUM 10 in Emeryville, CA
when:  Thursday, July 21st, 2011
show:  12:01 a.m.
costs:  $14.00 Ticket + $5.75 Zap Pack + $5.00 Carquinez Bridge Toll = $24.75
auditorium:  4, with the 3-D screen
seat:  6th row, 11th column

synopsis/overview:   Steve Rogers ( Chris Evans ), a "90-pound weakling",  desperately wants to enlist in the US Army during WWII, attracting the attention of  Dr. Abraham Erskine ( Stanley Tucci ), the head of  a secret government research program run with the assistance of  Mr. Howard Stark ( Dominic Cooper ) of  Stark Industries.  Dr. Erskine talks Steve into volunteering for the program which turns him into a super-soldier, Captain America, the defender of  American Ideals and the very first Avenger.

noteworthy scenes:  1.)  "You guys are gonna need one hell of a crane"; 2.) Shield; 3.) "Jewel of  Odin's Treasure Room"; 4.) 4F; 5.) Little Timmy; 6.) Alley fight; 7.) 1943 World Exposition; 8.) Clinic; 9.) 1A; 10.) "I have not come all this way for safety"; 11.)  "We have the best men"; 12.) Flagpole; 13.) "He's making me cry"; 14.) Grenade; 15.) Johann Schmidt/Red Skull's ( Hugo Weaving ) story; 16.) "No, I don't have [ a ] procedure tomorrow"; 17.) Masterpiece; 18.) "I know this neighborhood"; 19.) Secret lab; 20.) "Geez, somebody get that kid a sandwich"; 21.) Serum infusion; 22.) Sabotage; 23.) Chase; 24.) "Go get him!  I can swim"; 25.) "The Red Skull has been indulged long enough"; 26.) "Berlin is on this map"; 27.) "Heil, Hydra"; 28.) "If it could only work once, he'd be proud that it was you"; 29.) "You just got promoted"; 30.) Musical; 31.) The heckled captain; 32.) "You were meant for more than this, you know"; 33.) The 107th; 34.) "Where's my helmet"; 35.) "So, you two, do you fondue"; 36.) "The hell I can't.  I'm a captain"; 37.) "You know, Fritz, one of  these days I'm gonna have a stick of my own"; 38.) Captain America; 39.) "I'm from Fresno, Ace"; 40.) Bucky ( Sebastian Stan ); 41.) Red Skull; 42.) The return; 43.) Medal of  Valor; 44.) "I just got a quick look"; 45.) Bar; 46.) "Write that down"; 47.) New shield; 48.) Film footage; 49.) The train; 50.) "You're a liability"; 51.) "I can't get drunk"; 52.) Motorcycle chase; 53.) Captured; 54.) "Tight schedule"; 55.) "I'm not kissing you"; 56.) Bomb plane; 57.) The cube; 58.) "Peggy ( Hayley Atwell ), this is my choice"; 59.) "I'm gonna need a raincheck on that dance"; 60.) "Just keep looking"; 61.) Inactive file; 62.) Recovery room; 63.) "You've been asleep, Captain, for almost 70 years"; 64.) Bonus Scene during the Ending Credit; and 65.) The Avengers preview.


favorite scenes:  I liked the means-to-an-end Flagpole scene.

And I liked how they had the Original Costume design worked into this movie.

audience reaction:  The audience liked it and a few people gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation:  I really didn't think that I was gonna like this movie. But I was wrong.  I liked it enough to recommend it to those of  you who are into Marvel Comics superheroes.

spoiler alert!  Let me see if  I got this straight ... Steve had a chance to be  alone with all of  those beautiful and sexually-unfulfilled females whose boyfriends and husbands had gone off  to war  AND HE WANTED TO ENLIST?!?!?!  What, was he Nucking Futs?  ( Transpose the first letters .... )  If  you put me in that anatomy/physiology enhancing pod just like the way they did with Steve Rogers and allowed  me to also keep my pants on, I'd come out of  it singing like a castrati of  a certain world-famous boys' choir.  It is my understanding that the growth-enhancing serum was injected only into Steve's muscles and not into his bones, cartilages, ligaments  and tendons.  But even if  the serum was injected into Steve's bones, cartilages, ligaments  and tendons, as well, they wouldn't grow in direct proportion to the accelerated muscular growth of  test-subject Steve's body  because they don't get the same amount of  blood supply that a typical muscle cell would get.  The growth-enhancing serum would just work the same way that a muscle-building Steroid works:  "Balloon-up" the muscles but weaken the tendons and ligaments.  The penis is not made of  muscle tissues but of  cavernous and spongy tissues; so, I don't know what they did for Steve in that crucial area of  his anatomy.  Hey, if he's gonna  be Capt. America, he's got to live up to the name and rise up to the challenge each and every time--l.o.l.  And I don't think Steve had the serum injected into his very pain-sensitive testicles.  Ha, ha, ha.  Steve crashed through the store's display window and landed bare-footed on broken glass--but no "Ouchy!"  Steve and the bad guy were both in deep water; so, how did he throw the bad guy clear out of  the water?  When Capt.  America slipped into Red Skull's headquarters to rescue the G.I.s, why didn't he kill the guards?  Those bullets hit the convex side of  the new shield and should have ricocheted all over the place instead of  landed perpendicularly to the floor in front of  Steve's feet!  The same thing should have happened inside the train:  Bullets should have ricocheted all over the place.  The landing strip was not de-iced because it was about to be used only for take-off of  Red Skull's massive plane that only needed to taxi in a straight line; so, when Col. Phillips ( Tommy Lee Jones ) slammed on the brakes, the car should have slid off  the cliff!  Even though the plane had holes in it, there was not a sufficiently loud wind noise generated as a result.  I can't believe that New York and its surrounding areas didn't have radar systems in place to detect and keep track of  enemy planes during wartime!  There was not a snow storm when the plane crash-landed; so, because of  its immense size and the resultant smoke and fire from the crash, the plane would have left visible signs of  where it landed for scrambled planes and search parties to home-in on.  The adult male body is about 60% water in composition.  Without the aid of  an anti-freeze, the body's water molecules will freeze into crystalline structures that will puncture through and shred every  water-bearing cell in the body.  In other words, Captain America could not have survived frozen for so long.


fyi:  I liked Red Skull's souped-up convertible car.

When General MacArthur returned to the Philippines, my father decided to join the US Army and had to lie about his age to be enlisted.  He was probably the youngest enlisted "man", at age 13,  in the US Armed Forces of  World War Two.   And at under 5-feet tall, he was probably one of  the shortest--if not the shortest!  The G.I.s that he was assigned with were mostly from Texas, he once told me.  And they treated him more like either a Mascot or a surrogate younger brother because of  his size and age.  He enlisted under threat of  assassination by some Filipino Christian guerrillas who had come to loathe the fact that the Japanese treated my father's family with honor and respect and even saved  my father and my grandfather's lives when said guerrillas tried to kill each one of  them in two separate occasions.  Although my father became a Sergeant and an expert machine-gunner, he never wanted to kill any of the Japanese because, to him, they were still his friends.  My father said that he was always the last to attack and the first to retreat. My father regaled me with certain others of  his war exploits; but on the few times that I asked him how many Japanese he killed, he would just get this blank look in his eyes and walk away from me.  Years later, a cousin of  mine, Pompey, told me that my father actually became a war hero when he saved the lives of  his fellow G.I.s who had come under stealth attack by the Japanese in the thick of  the night.

I wanted to enlist in the US Army, too, to follow in my father's footsteps. But numerous sports injuries kept me from doing it.  You name me a body part on my person and I probably broke it or dislocated it.

The first time that I saw a Captain America comic book, I said to myself, Hey, this hero looks exactly like Kapitan Pinoy ( Captain Philippines or Filipino Captain ) except for the letter "A".  Kapitan Pinoy had the letter "P" on his forehead.  Aside from that, both costumed characters were drawn identically.  I found out later that Kapitan Pinoy was just a cheap knock-off meant to capitalize on the popularity of the Captain America comic book series.  What a bunch of  shameless, low-life comic book plagiarists!

This is the first time that I've attended a midnight show at this theatre.

I was about to post this hours earlier after I finished writing it  at Hector's place but, for some reason, his computer COMPLETELY  erased the whole thing!  I had to re-write everything.

word of  advice:  Anyone can contribute to the wartime effort.

"Support our troops." Enlist.


tidbits:  I went to Hector's place in Oakland, CA, to drop-off  the gift that I had bought for him at Big!Lots, an AM/FM Stereo CD Player.

His son, Ismael, came out to greet me.  And Ismael said, "You should have been here two nights ago.  Somebody did a hit-and-run on the SUV of  the chinita's  dad."  I said, Good!  About time.  And Hector came out and said, "Hey, your curse came true."  I answered, That's number one. Two more curses are coming up.  The Chinese bitch's dad's SUV got hit because he probably told his daughter to lie to me because I didn't see her  back into my car.  But they can't fool this Yogi.

When I tried-out Hector's new AM/FM Stereo CD Player, the CD function didn't work!  How embarrassing.  ( But I got him a working replacement the next day, a Friday. )

And I put a new flea collar on Tiger, the kitten.  To show his gratitude, he curled-up on my lap later on as I watched a TV show.  That was the first time, ever, that Tiger curled-up on my lap.

Halfway through watching this movie, I developed an upset stomach.  But I didn't want to go to the men's room to take care of  it because I might miss out on some critical scenes.  So, I just held it in by reciting my Zhunti mantras--remember, you may just get what you wish for if  you do this mantra ( How do you think I get my curses to work? ).  But this mantra also "locked" my bladder because I couldn't empty it when I went to use the men's room after the movie.

So, with both "Number One" and "Number Two" on total lock-up, I left for home.  And it was a  thirty minute commute plus a 100 yard walk from the overflow parking area and on up to my condo.  I just Zhunti mantra-ed it all the way home.  But I stopped doing the mantra as soon as I stepped out of  my Geo Metro and I could feel both "numbers" "unlocking".  From that point on, it was like an Olympic-style speed walk all the way to my condo--AND I JUST BARELY MADE IT!!!   Whew! never again; never more.

Please re-read my blog on the Zhunti Mantra in last month's Spiritual Milestone.

You would need to have recited the Zhunti Mantra at least 333,333 times ( a third of  the million-mark goal ) and would have experienced something of  a highly-spiritual nature along the way before you can use this mantra to put a curse on someone so it won't backfire on you or will only do relatively little harm if  it does backfire on you.  Putting curses on people is actually easier than giving out blessings because only highly-advanced spiritual people can bestow blessings.  ( I'm only a 1st Stage Yogi, and I have to start somewhere. )

For those of  you who think that putting curses on really deserving people is counter-productive to spiritual cultivation, consider the case of  Milarepa. Milarepa was an evil warlock who put curses on people, livestock and farmland.  And he even killed a number of  people, including his own master whom he poisoned to death.  But, later on in life, he did a complete turn-around and ended-up becoming one of  the greatest, if  not THE greatest, Tibetan Buddhist Saints.  He was to Tibetan Buddhism what Judas Iscariot was to Christianity: Someone who betrayed his own master.

But, likewise, Judas Iscariot was the greatest of  the Twelve Disciples of Jesus Christ--the answer to this, my argument, can be found in the Old Testament of  the Bible's Book of  Leviticus.  Read it for yourself and find out what has been hidden in plain view for two thousand years!

I should write a Bible commentary someday to explain the mysteries that have long befuddled mankind.

*

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART TWO 3-D ( 2 hr & 5 min )

where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Friday, July 15th, 2011
show:  10:30 a.m.
costs:  $12.00 Ticket + $6.00 small Popcorn + $0.00 Zero Sprite = $18.00
auditorium:  5, with the 3-D screen
seat:  3rd row, 10th column

2nd time

where:  BRENDEN  VACAVILLE  16  in  Vacaville,  CA
when:  Saturday, July 16th, 2011
show:  4:50 p.m.
costs:  $8.00 Ticket + $6.00 Snack Pack + $14.20 dinner @ Tin-Tin Chinese Buffet after the movie ( + $2.25 Tip ) = $30.45
auditorium:  16, with a 2-D screen
seat:  4th row, 6th seat


3rd time

where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Wednesday, July 20th, 2011
show:  10:05 p.m.
costs:  $17.50 Ticket + $3.00 Mango-Pineapple Smoothie @ MacDonald's Restaurant on Admiral Callaghan Lane in Vallejo, CA, before the movie + $7.00 medium Popcorn + $4.75 small Zero Sprite = $32.25
auditorium:  12
seat:  5th row, 6th seat


synopsis/overview:   Harry, Ron and Hermione ( Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson ) go back to Hogwarts to find and destroy Lord Voldemort's ( Ralph Fiennes ) remaining Horcruxes.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) "I need to talk to the goblin"; 2.) The wands; 3.) Hideous; 4.) The bank; 5.) Washed-off  enchantments; 6.) Multiplying treasure; 7.) Dragon's flight; 8.) "He knows"; 9.) Mirror; 10.) "Suicide mission"; 11.) Tunnel; 12.) The surprise; 13.) "We don't know"; 14.) "Security problem"; 15.) "Students, out of  bed"; 16.) "I've always wanted to use that spell"; 17.) "We have to talk to someone who's dead"; 18.) The grey lady, Helena Ravenclaw ( Kelly MacDonald ); 19.) "Yeah, you and whose army"; 20.) The golden cup Horcrux; 21.) Breached; 22.) The Room of Requirement; 23.) "You have something of  mine"; 24.) "We can't leave them"; 25.) "It's the snake"; 26.) "I know where he is"; 27.) "The Elder Wand belongs to the one who killed its last owner"; 28.) Tear drop; 29.) "Harry Potter, I now speak directly to you"; 30.) The truth; 31.) "Like a pig for slaughter"; 32.) "There's a reason why I can hear them"; 33.) The Resurrection Stone; 34.) "We never left"; 35.) "Harry Potter, the boy who lived, come to die"; 36.) "King's Cross Station, only cleaner"; 37.) Amended statement; 38.) "Harry Potter is dead"; 39.) Neville's ( Matthew Lewis ) speech; 40.) "Not my daughter, you bitch"; 41.) Neville to the rescue; 42.) The Elder Wand; and 43.) The next generation.


audience reaction:  The audience liked this movie.  And some in attendance gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

2nd audience reaction:  People liked this movie, too.  But nobody gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

3rd audience reaction:  It didn't get that enthusiastic of  a response from this crowd.  There were less than 20 people in this auditorium for this particular show.


recommendation:  I liked it, too.  Go see this if  you're a Harry Potter fan.


spoiler alert!  Okay, the goblin was ALONE in the room with the sword.  So, if  the goblin really wanted the sword so badly, why didn't it grab the sword and disappear out of  there?  They had Bellatrix Lestrange's ( Helena Bonham Carter ) wand but couldn't produce it when asked at the bank?  When Hermione stopped them from falling down to the cavern floor, did the camera angle have to be where Hermione's cleavage was at?  Lord knows that I didn't want to see Harry and Ron take off  their wet clothes--I was waiting for Hermione to do the same!  I mean, have you been to a crowded beach where a bunch of  bikini-clad girls are at?  Well, if  you have, I'm pretty sure that you saw one or two ( or more ) bikini girls change their bottoms with only a towel wrapped around their waists  and change their tops after putting on  shirts first.  That was what I wanted to see, not Harry's and/or Ron's pasty skin.  Harry's eyeglasses were clearly non-prescription prop glasses  which could not fool people like me who wear glasses.  When they were going through the secret tunnel, why couldn't the Dementors hear Neville talking out loud through the vent?  Why did Harry Potter's head cast a shadow on the grey lady, Helena Ravenclaw's, face when she was supposedly just a ghost?  Why didn't the Hogwarts' team  take to the air on their brooms in the battle?  When Harry Potter used the Pensieve to access Professor Severus Snape's  ( Alan Rickman ) stored memories--he kept his face underwater for 7 minutes and 25 seconds ( based on my wristwatch )--so I guess even Severus' tears were trying to kill Harry Potter by drowning.  I don't know about  you, but I don't know of  anyone who can hold his breath for 7 minutes and 25 seconds.  The longest I ever held my breath was for about 2 minutes and 45 seconds! That Severus sure shed a whole lot of  tears!  Why were the memories of  Severus not from his own point-of-view?   At one point, Lord Voldemort said, "Harry Potter, I now speak directly to you"--but both Hermione and Ron were still acting like Voldemort was mentally torturing them!  Hah! bad acting.  There was a blister on the back of  Voldemort's neck in the Forbidden Forest scene with Harry; I guess the make-up department forgot to fix it up.  Harry Potter asked, "Does it hurt ... dying?"  And Sirius Black ( Gary Oldman ) answered, "Quicker than falling asleep."  And Cine-Man said, Well, that depends.  If Lord Voldemort is gonna torture you first before killing you, then it's gonna hurt like a whole lot of Hell, you dumb-ass.  Stop asking stupid questions!   Harry was the only one  who could kill Lord Voldemort; so you'd think that he'd make sure to finish-off  Harry--even going so far as to feed him to Nagini.  But ... he didn't!  When Lord Voldemort struck Harry Potter down in the forest, Harry's wand fell from his hand.  So ... how did he end up with his wand in his hand again after "playin' possum"?  Earlier, Lord Voldemort called a truce to give his enemies time to bury their dead with dignity.  But ... on his victory parade toward Hogwarts Castle, he "pushed" a dead giant's body off  the bridge.  The giant's body landed with a thud, instead of  a series of  thuds, implying that it hit the bottom of  the bridge right away because  the body was laying at the midpoint of  the bridge.  The Hogwarts Castle bridge was built over a  very high precipice.  But, from the time Voldemort "pushed" the dead giant's body off  the bridge to the time that it hit the bottom, I counted, One-One Thousand, Two-One--i.e. the time was only approximately 1 1/2 seconds.  Since all free-falling objects on  Earth have a change of  velocity expressed as: acceleration of gravity = 9.8 m/s/s, then, based on a time of  1 1/2 seconds, the giant's body hit the bottom of  the bridge after falling for ONLY  14.7 meters or 48.23 feet--but the bridge was set higher-up than that distance!  So ... the "Thud" sound should have happened a little later AND... because of  the local hilly and/or mountainous terrain, the "Thud" sound should have produced a series of  echoes!!!  Hello .... 'Anybody there in the Hollywood Logic Department?  Hmm, I guess not.  Why did Nagini make rattling noises when only Rattlesnakes do it and there was no rattle on its tail?  Why didn't Nagini dodge the rock that Hermione threw at it when it could easily have done so?  When Harry and Voldemort were flying through the air, why did neither one of  them try to gouge the other one's eyes out?  After 19 years, the train station still didn't have security cameras to catch the strange/suspicious activities of  the non-Muggle community.  Nineteen years later ...?  Come on, seriously folks, it should have been more like 12 or 13 years later--allow me to explain:  War is an Aphrodisiac!  In times of  war, people easily realize their fragile, fleeting state of  existence.  The survival mechanism then kicks-in and makes people want to procreate to pass on their genes--how do you think we got the "Baby Boom Generation" to start less than a year after WWII ended?  And I don't have to remind you of  stories of  soldiers raping women and girls, an inevitability of  wartime.  Neville Longbottom had it right when he declared his love for Luna Lovegood ( Evanna Lynch )--the battle got him super-horny and desperate to procreate ( Hey, I like this rhyme )!  After Lord Voldemort's demise, there would have been a big celebration wherein social  propriety would easily yield to unbound lust! Yup, I'm talking One Big Orgy at Hogwarts Castle, folks; and everyone was invited--except for me!  Ha, ha, ha.  Why am I laughing ....  So, the next generation of  witches and wizards should have popped-out into this world approximately nine months after Lord Voldemort's death.  And said generation should have gone off  to Hogwarts School of  Witchcraft and Wizardry approximately 12 years later, not 19 years later!  Duh ....  And Harry's son, Albus Severus Potter ( initials, A.S.P. ) went to Hogwarts and made an asp ( pun intended ) of  himself! Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha--snort!

I must ask again, When is Hollywood gonna get smart enough to hire my services as script consultant and/or technical adviser so that their movies will be more appealing to those of  us who know how to think?  Come on, Hollywood, what have you got to lose?  Think of  what you'll gain by simply hiring me!


fyi:  If  you noticed, in the Hogwarts Castle's tower, the staircase spiraled  from the right.  There is a reason for that: Right-handedness.  Since most people are right-handed, spiral staircases in medieval towers were designed to spiral up from the right side so that invaders, facing up,  would have their sword-wielding hand, the right hand, up against the tower wall.  This was a  big disadvantage to them because the defenders, facing down,  could  swing their sword-wielding hand freely from the on-guard position to defend the tower.

word of  advice:  "Greater Love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."  Jesus Christ ( New Testament of  the Bible, John 15:13 )

tidbits:  I took my Hyundai Accent to Quality Tune-Up on Sonoma Boulevard here in Vallejo, CA, first thing in the morning today, for an oil change.

I still had plenty of  time--at least half an hour--after I arrived at the theatre for the 9:45 a.m. I-Max show and the 10:10 a.m. 2-D show.  But there were already two long lines of  movie-goers waiting to get in.  So, I just bought a ticket for the 10:30 a.m. 3-D show.  The box office clerk gave me a choice: either use the standard 3-D glasses or the special edition Harry Potter glasses.  Of  course, I took the Harry Potter glasses--it was such a "No-Brainer"!  And, instead of  waiting in line like the others, I decided to wait it out in my car where I could do more Zhunti mantras.

You can barely see my Hyundai Accent's right rear corner in this photo.  It is up in the air.  Yep, my car is a levitating yogi car.

I went to this Big!Lots discount store in Fairfield, CA, after seeing the movie to buy some toilet paper, an 8-pack of  notepads for my movie reviews,  and a bag of  really delicious fruit slices candy.

I took this from the driver's seat of my Geo Metro.  To the left of  this place is the 99 Cent Only Store and to the far right of this place is the Filipino Grocery Store, Island Pacific.

And here's a closer telephoto shot of the same place.  I came here to Selecta Filipino Buffet to eat after I got back to Vallejo from watching the Harry Potter movie in Fairfield, CA.

Yesterday, a Thursday, a local newspaper, The Contra Costa Times, printed pictures of local area Harry Potter fans, among which is a lady from San Leandro, CA, who looks exactly like Severus Snapes!  I don't know about you but, if  I were a female who looked like a guy, I wouldn't let the whole world know about it!

But ... if  you're a guy who looks like a very beautiful woman then, I guess, it's okay to let the whole world know about it--and make good money while you're at it!  Case in point:

This hot super-model is actually a guy!  His name is Andre Pejic.

The special edition Harry Potter 3-D glasses looked like they didn't work.  I went out to tell some of  the theatre employees about it.  And one of  them told me that it was just the movie projector, that somebody was already on it and fixing the problem even as he spoke.   I'm gonna have to get some more of  this special edition 3-D glasses because they're a collector's item.

2nd tidbits:  I forgot to bring my digital camera with me so I'm just re-using three previous Vacaville photographs.

I bought more of the fruit slices candy today, a Saturday, as well as a cat collar for Tiger, and a pair of  headphones after seeing this movie for the second time.

When I stepped into this buffet restaurant, I surveyed the dining area and realized that there was only one white person in there.  The rest were Chinese and a Filipino couple.  Uh-oh, I knew what that meant:  No Rice left for me!  Sure enough, when I went over to the rice cooker, there was nothing in it but burnt crusted-up rice.  I had to tell one of  the waiters to get me some rice.

Later on, two Hispanic couples on a double-date came in.  As soon as they sat down to eat, the background music switched from Chinese to Spanish.  And a song played had the male singer keep saying, "Amor para tu " ( Love for you ).  But the way it was sung sounded not Spanish but more like Filipino ( Cebuano )-Spanish, " Amoy barato " ( Smells cheap ).  I think one of  the Chinese employees at this restaurant had spent some time in the Philippines and picked this  particular song to slyly convey the message that the Hispanic girls' dates  were wearing cheap cologne which was probably bought at a dollar store.  Ha, ha, ha.  Ah, wait a minute ... that song better not had been played in reference to my cologne!

If  you must know, my favorite cologne is Bod Man's Fresh  Blue Musk.  And, nope, you can't buy it at a dollar store!  Sorry, you cheapskate.

As you can see, it costs more than a dollar!

As I was finishing my dinner at 8:52 p.m., I noticed my waitress at another table wiping down a 28 oz. bottle of  Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce.  She had that thing wrapped in a towel and with both hands was gently stroking it up and down, up and down, nice and easy-like.  So sexually erotic, the way she was doing it.  And I was starting to feel uneasy in my seat!  Up and down, nice and easy.  Hot sauce, warm towel and gentle hands--a perfect sensual combination, if  I may say so myself!  I wondered  if she moonlighted as a masseuse at one of  those Oriental "massage" parlors.  And I had an epiphany:  The way to Cine-Man's heart is through a bottle of  Asian Hot Chili Sauce, not shaken, not stirred, but gently stroked.  Damn! there goes my Yogi aspirations ....  I swear, it is getting harder and harder for me ( pun intended ) to become a full-pledge Yogi.

This gets me hot, babe!

3rd tidbits:  I went to Fairfield, CA, earlier in the day today, a Wednesday, because I wanted to watch the Harry Potter 3-D show at 10:30 a.m. just because of  the special edition 3-D glasses made for this last-and-final Harry Potter movie that I was gonna keep, unused,  as a collector's item memento of  this movie ( I brought along a regular Real-Deal 3-D glasses to use ).  But they had already ran-out of  the special edition 3-D glasses.  So, I just decided to make today my final time watching this movie in I-Max 3-D--I was saving the I-Max 3-D show for tomorrow, a Thursday, at the AMC Bay Street in Emeryville, CA, after paying a visit to Hector in Oakland, CA.

I originally bought an I-Max 3-D ticket for the day's first showing of the I-Max 3-D Harry Potter movie.  And the weather was starting to get uncomfortably warm--and I don't have air conditioning in my Geo Metro ( or my Hyundai Accent, for that matter )!

After buying my movie ticket, I went to the Fairfield, CA, Big!Lots discount store to by an am/fm stereo cd player as a gift for  Hector.

I still had plenty of  time before the movie was to start, so I decided to just get out of  the sun and have an all-you-can-eat buffet lunch at this restaurant on the opposite end of  the Westfield Solano Shopping Mall from the Edwards Fairfield cineplex.  This restaurant used to be the Great Wall Chinese Buffet; but there was a change in ownership and management almost a year ago, I was told by the hostess.  This was my first time coming here after the take-over.  And they really spruced-up the place!  They even installed a couple of  fancy-schmanzy Sloan waterless urinals!  Don't ask me how "waterless" urinals work because I don't know.  Us guys don't care about such things, we just pee anywhere when we think that nobody's watching!  Ha, ha, ha.  Anyway ....  The dining area  looked very attractive, but I didn't take any interior pictures with my camera because I didn't ask for permission to do so--maybe, next time.  Nope, I didn't see any attractive waitresses--yet!  As for their buffet selections, I think the former establishment had more to offer.  But, then again, maybe they were just reserving the more extensive selections for the dinner crowd.  At least, they had a "serve yourself" soda fountain.

So, I sat there enjoying my buffet lunch and thinking that I had plenty of  time before the 12:15 p.m. I-Max 3-D show was to start.  Sometime later, I looked at my movie ticket just to double-check on the start time.  I had it wrong!  I thought that the  box office clerk said that the first show was at 12:15 p.m.; it was not.  The first show was at 12:50 p.m.!  There was no way that I could watch it, go home, change clothes, change cars and go to work on time!  I had to go back to the theatre to switch my ticket for the last evening show.

Money spent at the buffet restaurant = $8.58 Lunch + $1.00 Tip

Later on today, after work, I swung by the MacDonald's Restaurant in the Target Shopping Center on Admiral Callaghan Lane here in Vallejo, CA, to order something and pass the time before heading on to the Edwards Fairfield Stadium 16 & I-Max in Fairfield, CA, for the last evening show of  the Harry Potter movie.

I was gonna have a burger meal here, but I changed my mind because I decided to "popcorn" the Harry Potter movie.  By "popcorn", I mean that I will just sit back, relax and enjoy a movie with a cup of  soda and a bag of  popcorn without taking any movie review notes at all.

This particular MacDonald's has a bad history:

Back in 1997 or 1998, a black kid who worked here was fired.  He came back later with a gun and shot to death one of  his former co-workers, a Filipina girl who came here to the States on a work visa to help support her family back home in the Philippines.  I avoided dining at this restaurant for about two years after the tragedy.  Yet, still, whenever I would eat at this place after that, I couldn't help but wonder where exactly she was shot to death and whether or not any of  the current employees know about what happened here, or if  her ghost was haunting the place.  I really, truly, feel sorry for that poor innocent girl and her family.

13 ASSASSINS, R ( 2 hr & 6 min )

where:  SHATTUCK  CINEMAS in Berkeley, CA
when:  Thursday, July 14th, 2011
show:  3:45 p.m.
costs:  $8.00 Ticket + $5.00 Nachos + $0.00 small Diet Coke ( free on my movie watcher rewards card ) + $3.50 Bart Train ticket + $14.30 dinner @ Empire Chinese Buffet in Richmond, CA ( + $2.35 Tip ) + $5.00 Carquinez Bridge Toll = $38.15
auditorium:  9
seat:  2nd row, left section, 2nd seat


synopsis/overview:  In the remake of a 1963 film of  the same title, a  Shogun hires the services of the Samurai Shinzaemon Shimada ( Koji Yakusho ) to kill his own cruel and sadistic step-brother, Lord Naritsugu Matsudaira ( Goro Inagaki ),  who is putting the peace and stability of  Japan at great risk in 1844.  Based on a true story.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Zusho Mamiya's  ( Masaaki Uchino ) hara-kiri in protest; 2.) "Perhaps, you've heard about the outrage"; 3.) Akashi/Owari scandal; 4.) Rape, murder and suicide; 5.) "I have decided it's you"; 6.) The mute quadruple amputee; 7.) "Wishing for a noble death"; 8.) Mamiya's family; 9.) The first  hand-picked Samura; 10.) A Ronin; 11.) "Pawned swords"; 12.) "Festival of  the Dead"; 13.) "Devotion knows no age"; 14.) Training; 15.) Hanbei Kitou ( Masachika Ichimura ), Shinzaemon's former dojo classmate; 16.) Ochiai; 17.) First time; 18.) Leeches; 19.) Buy-out; 20.) Koyata ( Yusuke Iseya ), the Hunter/Guide; 21.) Banned passage; 22.) Foolish path; 23.) Dinner; 24.) Preparations; 25.) "Secret to fishing"; 26.) Thirteen; 27.) Traps; 28.) "Why are you Samurai so arrogant"; 29.) "Our mission, finish it"; 30.) "Let's bring back the age of  war"; 31.) "Do only Samurai matter in this world"; 32.) "Victory is not yet ours"; 33.) "Such elegance in fighting"; 34.) One-on-one; 35.) "How can you kick his head?  He gave his life for you"; 36.) "Be silent like the decorative man you are"; 37.) "Pain.  It hurts"; 38.) "I'm scared.  I don't want to die"; 39.) "Today has been the most exciting"; 40.) "Being a Samurai is truly a burden"; 41.) "Are you immortal"; 42.) "Now, you're talking"; and 43.) Shogunate Era ends.


audience reaction:  Hard to tell since there were only about four of  us in the auditorium.


recommendation:  I liked this "Slice and Dice" Movie.  If  you're a fan of  samurai movies, you've got to see this.  The first half is kind of  slow, but the second half is mostly "Slice and Dice"!


spoiler alert!  First off,  the title is all wrong!  The Samurai was bound to the Code of  Bushido:  Bravery, Duty, Honesty, Honor, Loyalty, Obedience, Self-Discipline, Self-Sacrifice and Simple Living.  With the over-riding principle being that of  Honor, i.e. To do what was most honorable.  A True Samurai would never  work for such a cruel and sadistic ruler for to do so would bring dishonor to his Samurai lineage!   The Ninjas were the ones who hired themselves out as assassins.  So, the title should have been, 13 Samurai.  How come none of  the Samurai wore armor, especially considering that the odds were against them?

A picture of  an armored Samurai from a Wikipedia file.

When they cut through the forest, they were forced to go on foot.  But when they found the road again, they were on horseback once more--w.t.f.  ...?  Where were the horses all that time that they were walking through the woods?  When the guards fell to the ground because of  the explosion, why didn't the Samurai finish them off?  When the Samurai jumped off  the roof, the guards moved out of  the way when they should just have stood their ground and raised their swords high up in the air, Banzai-style, and skewered the Samurai's Bushido-butts!  All that clinging and clanging of  swords but not a sword got chipped or got dull to the point where it could no longer cut a head off  in one clean strike.  The spear of  Sahara ( Arata Furuta ) didn't have handguards so when he crossed weapons with a guard, the guard should have turned his sword sideways, used the side of  his body to lean against the spear and sliced Sahara's hand and cut Sahara's face in one clean swipe!  The average human head weighs about 10 pounds and should not bounce around the ground like that.  Koyata moved his head from side to side like he didn't have that neck wound after all.  The final sword "fight" was a major let-down;  it went something like this:

Run me through with your sword and I shall run you through with my sword.  Then, we'll see who'll die first.  Oh, f--k it!  You're taking too long to die.  I'll cheat and cut your head off  now so I'll die last and be declared the winner!  'Loser!  ( Duh .... )


fyi:  When I studied "combat style" Japanese Martial Arts in Matina, Davao City, Mindanao, Philippines, at a KaAikiDo-Ryu ( Okinawan Karate, Aikido and Judo School ), my teacher, Sensei Finelleri ( ? ), taught me the moral code of  the Japanese martial artist as part of  the class's history lesson on the arts.  It was also this teacher who introduced me to the art of  Meditation, 37 long years ago to the very month.  To him, a martial artist who didn't meditate and who didn't live by a moral code was not a true martial artist, something Western martial artists  should ponder upon.

Anyone can pick up a rifle and learn how to shoot fairly easily.  But it takes years of  training, discipline, patience and dedication to become a true Samurai.  And a Samurai doesn't want to die a dishonorable death at the hands of  a simple rifleman.  Which was why Hanbei talked Lord Naritsugu into backing down.

According to an article that I once read in a gun and rifle magazine, shortly after the Rifle was introduced to Japan, the Japanese Army became the first army to be highly skilled in its use.  But it meant that anyone could kill an honorable Samurai.  So, the Japanese did away with riflery for the next hundred years or so.


word of  advice:  Divide and Conquer.  For, in union, there is strength.


tidbits:  I almost walked past this theatre because I became disoriented at the absence of  the panhandlers who used to gather on the sidewalk in front of  this establishment.  I wonder what happened to them.  Maybe the city of  Berkeley  finally enforced its  "No Loitering" and a "No Soliciting/Panhandling" laws.

The ticket seller issued me a brand-spanking new movie watcher rewards card in exchange for my paper card.  Now, I'm officially a holder of  a Landmark Theatres Film Club Rewards Card.

And, at the concessions counter, I asked the two clerks about any feed-back on the movie that I was about to watch.  They said that neither one of  them had seen it yet; but, there were movie patrons who watched  the movie more than once.  That's a good sign--usually.

The personal photos that I posted on this blog were all taken today.  But the date and times are all wrong because, when I changed the batteries, I didn't double-check the date and time settings.  There are just too many functions and settings to check before using a digital camera, I just didn't know.  Ah, the price to pay for modern technology.  I already miss the old 35mm cameras.

Is it just me or do digital cameras eat-up batteries like there's no tomorrow?  Or, maybe, I should just stop buying cheap "made in China" batteries at the dollar store from now on!

These red things--there's another one to the left of these two--are set between the screen and the first row.  They are 6 to 7 feet in diameter.  Yes, that's right.  They are giant bean bags!  How cool is that?

This is the comfy/plushy seat that I sat on while watching this movie.  Nice, huh?

I walked down Shattuck Avenue to the next block to see if I should buy a ticket here at UA Berkeley 7 for the midnight showing of the Harry Potter movie.  But there was already a long line of  die-hard fans to the right of  this picture who have been waiting in line for God-only-knows-how-long!  I'll just see this movie tomorrow in Fairfield, CA.  I took this photo at a little after 6:00 p.m.

This theatre, California Theatre,  on Kittridge Street is just across the block from both UA  Berkeley 7 and Shattuck Cinemas.

This is the 4-level parking garage at the BART Train's El Cerrito Del Norte Station.  I remember way back when this was nothing but an empty lot!

This is my 2001 Hyundai Accent parked in space # 602 on the 2nd level of the El Cerrito Del Norte Station.

The Richmond-bound train was over-crowded.  And the overhead handrail was set too high for me--I felt like an ape one-handing it.  I'm glad that I used a good quality  anti-perspirant/deodorant.

Opps!  I forgot to take a picture of  the train station, itself!  Maybe, next time ....

The home commute  traffic was bumper-to-bumper on the freeway.  So, I took the San Pablo Dam Road exit in Richmond, CA, so that I could  check-out this Chinese buffet that I've heard of  before  but have never been to.  They got Chinese New Year and Christmas decorations still up on their walls and posts--like four-eyed me wouldn't notice.  Hah!

This store is at the far end of the shopping center that it shares with the Chinese buffet up above.  I went to this store while I was digesting my meal, and to buy two softdrinks to take to work and a 4-pack of  cheap AAA batteries for my digital camera, for a grand total of $3.18.

Special  Announcement:  I would like to take this time to say, Thank You and Welcome, to my readers in these countries:


Kenya and Yemen


Thank you, once again.  Please keep on reading my weekly updates.  And don't forget to tell your friends, and everyone else who you know, about my movie blogsite.