MY SISTER'S KEEPER, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 46 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

show: 11:05 a.m. (extra-dollar discount matinee for the first show )

auditorium: 11

seat: 4th row, 8ht column

Caring for an older sister who's dying of cancer robs one of his/her youth as he/she is rapidly forced into a mature role far beyond the scope of his/her innocence. Enter into this picture Anna Fitzgerald (Abigail Breslin), a precocious 11-year old preteen suing her own parents for "medical emancipation." For it seems that the sole purpose for her very own existence is to keep her older sister, Kate ( Sofia Vassilieva ), alive since she was not conceived by accident but bio-engineered to be an exact donor match for Kate. The two sisters share a common bond of emotional and physical pain. But is "simply existing" the same as "being alive?" As a love one, patient and/or donor, how does one decide on what is more important and when enough is enough? All three parties have rights and have valid arguments. If only one party is to prevail, a court decision is the only way to arrive at a legal conclusion.

prediction: Sofia Vassilieva will win an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The brother Jesse ( Evan Ellingson ) being sent to camp; 2.) The "urine" sample; 3.) Scenes with Taylor Ambrose ( Thomas Dekker ); 4.) Anna as a non-cooperative 5-year old donor patient; 5.) The going-to-the-beach; 6.) The "Britney Spears" moment by the mother, Sara ( Cameron Diaz ); 7.) The courtroom; and 8.) The final visit.

audience reaction: As the audience left, I heard a lot of sniffles. I, on the other hand, only had a severe case of allergy (ahem!). I was the last to leave because I had to blow my nose. They should install HEPA filters in this auditorium!

recommendation: Go see this Family Drama.

spoiler alert! This is not for people who have read the book because the ending is different, according to what I read on the Internet.

fyi: Back in the early '70's, when the popular detective series, HAWAII 5-0, was aired in the Philippines, it brought with it the tsunamis of Don Ho's singing career: Pearly Shells and Tiny Bubbles. Inspired by these Hawaiian phenomena, children could be seen doing their best impressions of the Hula dance and the Tahitian dance. It strikes me as odd, then, that the filmakers chose Tiny Bubbles as the background song for the scene in which the children are jumping on the trampoline because this particular song is about drinking and becoming drunkenly affectionate--and under-age children are not allowed to drink alcoholic beverages in this country ( unlike in the Philippines where 5-year olds could be seen with an opened beer bottle in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other hand, and would therefore be allowed to listen and dance to Tiny Bubbles ). If you must know, I started smoking when I was four and quitted when I was thirteen! ( There goes my prudish, innocent "Good Boy" image flying out of the window. )

word of advice: Count your blessings.

tidbits: In July of 2006, I went with my eldest sister and her family to AMC STAR GRAND RAPIDS 18 in Grand Rapids, Michigan to see the movie, JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE! There, in the main lobby, was displayed the dress which Cameron Diaz wore in the 1994 movie, THE MASK, with Jim Carrey. She is one tiny lady! Or, as us guys would say it, A SPINNER! ( This is guy slang for a hot, petite babe that you can just lift, plant and spin, "iykwim"; it has nothing to do with a singing group unless you have a fetish for petite female singers.) Oh, by the way, iykwim is a very deliciously sweet frozen treat ( yeah, right ... ) made out of milk, cream, sugar, fruit and/or other flavorings which melts in your mouth and in your hands, If You Know What I Mean.

I half-expected John (brother of Joan Cusack who plays Judge De Salvo in this movie) to pop up in a cameo, supporting or uncredited role since they are almost always featured together in movies starring either one of them as a lead character, all in the name of Hollywood-style nepotism. But to my disappointment, he is a no-show in this one--the victim of "down-sizing," perhaps?

Joan Cusack was a hot fantasy commodity back in 1993. Check her out as the blonde nanny in ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES.

I had planned on seeing this movie the night before, either in San Rafael or Novato since I had not been to either place in over a year. But I lost track of time as I was busy proof-reading the previous two blogs.

MOON, R ( 1 hr & 37 )

where: CINE ARTS @ PLEASANT HILL in Pleasant Hill, CA

when: Sunday, June 28th, 2009

show: 4:50 pm

auditorium: 4

seat: 4th row, 6th column

Astronaut Sam Bell ( Sam Rockwell ) is isolated on the Moon on a three-year contract to mine it for Helium-3, which has become Earth's primary source of energy. Nearing the end of his contractual obligation, he gets into an accident and wakes up to find a younger version of himself living with him at his outpost. As they put their minds together, they unravel a very disturbing secret.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The discovery of the secret "cryogenics" room and 2.) The satellite call to Earth in an area outside the jamming towers' reach.

audience reaction: This is a thought-provoking film about Science and Technology's Code of Ethics ( execution, violations and ramifications). The reaction was pretty much cerebral.

recommendation: Go see this movie to know what real science fiction is all about.

spoiler alert! There are neither mega-bots nor pointy-eared aliens in this one. The poster for this movie is stupid: the astronaut is walking on the moon holding his helmet in his arm! (Ahh! a conspiracy in the making.) Three thousand two hundred and eighty-five styrofoam food containers ( 3-year supply) is a lot of styrofoam to eat through! I thought astronauts ate squeeze-tubed and plastic-pouched foods only.

fyi: There are actually two moons shown in this movie: the other one being Sam's backside in a shower scene.

I cannot add more to the synopsis without giving the story away.

Sam Rockwell starred in a 2002 movie titled, CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND, about the secret-agent life of TV host Chuck Barris (who looks more like a Daniel Craig type of spy rather than a Pierce Brosnan one) of The Gong Show. He is great in this movie. See it if you can.

word of advice: Expand on your notion of Science Fiction.

tidbits: For this second movie, the line was only about forty yards long, and it wasn't as hot as it was earlier.

As I waited in line to buy a ticket, I saw this old, flabby white lady ahead in line of me wearing a light-tan shirt and khaki pants with the fabric all bunched-up at her posterior that it looked like she gave herself a big wedgie putting her pants on. And her outfit was almost skin-tone in color so that from far away she looked like she was (really wrinkled) butt-naked! 'Not a pretty sight to behold for my delicate eyes. ( This one's for you, Brett B., my co-worker in Benicia, CA. )

In line at the concession counter with a bottle of Fuze Green Tea to buy, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror behind the counter. I didn't know that I look that scary. It was like I was staring at a pit-bull sporting a mustache!

FOOD, INC., PG ( 1 hr & 34 )

where: CINE ARTS @ PLEASANT HILL in Pleasant Hill, CA

when: Sunday, June 28th, 2009

show: 2:30 pm

auditorium: 3

seat: 4th row, 9th column

This documentary film from Robert Kenner is an eye-opening look at the food industry and how it was reshaped by McDonald's into specialized food conglomerates who have the government's blessing to conduct laissez-faire practices to maximize profits at the expense of consumer health, worker safety, farmers' livelihood, and the environment. Genetically-modified foods (GMO) and anti-biotic resistant E. coli are some of the issues touched on in this film; the deplorably inhumane treatment of livestock is also shown.

prediction: This documentary is a very strong contender for an Oscar.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Hatchlings in incubator trays being put in conveyor belts to be sorted and stamped; 2.) Growth hormone fed chickens that never see the sunlight from the day they hatch to the day they are slaughtered less than seven weeks later--these chickens cannot even walk and a lot of them die after taking just a few steps! 3.) Cows force-fed corn and standing around in knee-deep manure just teeming with a super-strain of E. coli--these cows are so weak they either crawl or are fork-lifted to their slaughter! 4.) Consumer health advocates being stymied by bureaucratic red-tape; 5.) The ubiquitous corn; 6.) The run-offs from farms and slaughterhouses contaminating rivers; and 7.) Pretty much every scene is noteworthy. Bear in mind that what you see in this movie is not some Third World country but the good ol' U S of A!

audience reaction: As I waited in the lobby for the next movie on my list, I overheard an Oriental man telling his friends to go see this movie.

recommendation: If you eat fast-food and/or shop at a grocery store, this is a MUST SEE!

spoiler alert! This movie presents the purported "good side" of Wal-Marts.

fyi: I remember back when someone gave my father a big catfish (as big as an adult's leg) as a present. My brother, my sisters and I wanted to keep it as a pet. So we put it in a baby bathtub. Every now and then it would jump out of the too-small-for-it tub and onto the floor. Finally, it got so weak that the only humane thing to do was to put it out of its misery AND SERVE IT AT DINNER! My siblings and I couldn't eat what once was our pet; we just sat there at the table looking at it. Only my dad and our housemaid ate the pet. From that day on, I couldn't force myself to eat something that I saw back when it was still alive. My point is, I could never live on a farm--I'd just starve to death.

Two corrupt practices by Big Business that put farmers in a quandary are shown here: 1.) They talk farmers to raise livestock for them, enticing the farmers with incentives; but, as soon as the farmers sign-on, they are forced into doing "up-grades" or lose the contract and are forced deeper and deeper into debt (they are in debt for at least half a million but typically only make $18,000 per year). 2.) They talk some farmers into planting their patented GMO plants so that neighboring farmers who are into natural, organic farming are sued for patent infringement when the GMO laden pollen land on the organic farm and/or are sued for patent tampering when said organic farmers try to save their plants from GMO contamination! The corrupt, unscrupulous audacity of Big Business knows no bounds!

It is worth buying a copy of this film for future reference. It is also in paperback by the same title.

word of advice: I don't know about you, but the God that I worship is "The God of All The Living." (Mark 12:27) This means that God is not just the God of human beings but of all living things, as well. What I am saying is that we should show reverence for all life, especially those that we depend on for sustenance.

tidbits: The line at the box office was about fifty-five yards long and it was hot at the time! Inside, as I waited in line at the concession counter, I turned to my right to get some bulk candy. When I finished, I turned and found out that two idiots cut ahead in line! I will never make the same mistake again: I'll have my soda rung up first THEN decide to add something else to my purchase before I pay for it, and I'll take my sweet time doing it. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! (Snort)

On my way home, I stopped at the Wendy's on Redwood Street here in Vallejo for a burger--I guess I was too hungry to remember what I just saw! My bad ....

ATTENTION, EVERYONE!

When I started this blog, I did so with the primary focus on the movie patrons' reaction to the movies which I go to see along with them. It had never been about me. But, now, I've had some people clicking on my profile only to be disappointed that I do not have anything else to say about myself. Even though I drop personal hints in the fyi and tidbits sections (in particular) of my reviews, this seems not enough to satiate the curious appetite of some of you readers who want nothing less on the plate than my literary biography.

With that in mind, I shall compose my biography and add it to my profile soon after. Please check back to this particular post every week to know when to click back on my profile for a more comprehensive background information.

I humbly thank you in advance for your expressed interest.

Sincerely,

CINE-MAN

(adding some personal spice to my movie-watching vice)

P.S. Someone asked me once what I do for fun. I said that I don't smoke, don't drink and don't do drugs--going to the movies is my only "vice."

P.P.S. This blog originated from "guy-talk" about movies that I go to see. Whenever appropriate to the subject matter (i.e. the movie reviewed in particular), I shall revert back to "guy-talk" to connect with my intended readership. This is why there is an "adult content" warning on my blog. I apologize in advance to anyone who may find some of my entries offensive.

A BIG THANK YOU!

I would like to take this time to say, "Thank you," to Lee S. in Benicia, CA for informing me that my blog site is already on the internet. You, as well as some other people who have expressed a sincere interest in my proposed hobby, have encouraged me to sail past my literary doldrums and set a course for vicarious adventures in the vast ocean-world of Creative Writing. Egads! does this mean that you are my Muse? I hope not because I've never heard of such a thing as a bearded muse! You've got the long hair going for you, though--but that's about it.

Likewise, I'd like to thank Richard Allen D., a co-worker of mine in Benicia, for letting me confirm the operational status of my blog site on his I-Phone. Sorry, Nikki, you had your chance.

It is now official: I AM ON THE WEB, FINALLY. To paraphrase my namesake, Napoleon Bonaparte, "Today, Benicia. Tomorrow, ze World!"

Now, for the BAD NEWS: Everybody at work knows that I go to the cinemas quite a lot, including management. So, from now on, I had better be careful whenever I call in sick or tell them that I cannot work extra hours because they'll be checking my blog site to keep tabs on my whereabouts. 'Tis the price to pay for worldly fame, methinks.

MY LIFE IN RUINS, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 36 min)

where: CINE ARTS @ PLEASANT HILL in Pleasant Hill, CA

when: Monday, June 22nd, 2009

show: 9:30 pm

auditorium: 2

seat: 6th row, 8ht column

Georgia (Nia Vardalos) is a Greek American Professor of Ancient Greek History who cannot find tenure at any college or university in Greece and must swallow her pride and take on the menial job of a tour guide, a profession she really isn't good at. And so a procession of the stereotypical tourists come and go in her uneventful life.

Then, one fateful day, a busload of tourists get on board with the life of the party in the person of Irv, the widower (Richard Dreyfuss). With his gentle guidance, Georgia's life starts to turn for the better.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The bus driver introducing himself to everyone in a matter-of-fact way (which plays well to an American audience); 2.) The bus driver comparing himself to a music conductor (plays well to the same audience); 3.) Irv acting as the Oracle at Delphi; 4.) The bus driver's nephew introducing himself to the couple's daughter (also plays well to an American audience); 5.) The topless American males cooling-off at the fountain to attract a couple of Spanish divorcees; 6.) Georgia eating the ice cream meant as a peace offering to Irv; and 7.) The T-shirt at the pool party scene.

audience reaction: They laughed at this one.

recommendation: Go see this "chick flick."

spoiler alert: It does remind one of MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING in an earlier scene. To be fair, there is no Windex in this one! If I were her, I'd take the job offer from the university.

fyi: Nia Vardalos reminds me of the girl that I dated in college in a platonic way. They look like they could be related to each other.

word of advice: If you go to other countries, tell the natives that you're Canadian so you'll get better service.

tidbits: On my way out of the auditorium, I spotted a woman's white sweater on the floor. I was going to turn it in at the counter in the lobby, but no worker was in sight. So I entertained the thought of taking it home as a "tourist's" souvenir, but I really didn't know what its owner looked like--I mean, was she hot enough to make keeping it worth my while (it was really dark in there, so I had no way of knowing)? Just to be safe, I just left it laying there for the janitor to take care of.

EASY VIRTUE, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 33 min)

where: CINE ARTS @ PLEASANT HILL in Pleasant Hill, CA

when: Monday, June 22nd, 2009

show: 7:15 pm

auditorium: 2

seat: 7th row, 7th column

It is the "Roaring '20s" in which we find our female protagonist, Larita (Jessica Biel) receiving the admiring glances from a younger gentleman, John Whittaker (Ben Barnes). After a brief courtship, the two are happily wed. So, off they go to meet his parents in England at the family estate. As she makes the acquaintance, she realizes that the chilly reception that she is receiving has nothing to do with the weather.

The family matriarch (Kristin Scott Thomas) wants her son to marry for money, not for love. But here she is looking at a cigarette smoking older woman (a bleached blonde bimbo, no less) from a blue-collar (not blue-blood) American (horrors!) family and a scandalous feminist, to boot, with a skeleton in the closet! At the outset, she is determined to derail this fledgling union because as an aristocrat, money is her sole concern.

Although Larita is an unwelcome guest, the servants take an immediate liking to her because of her commoner status. And she starts to find a kindred soul in the dishevelled patriarch (Colin Firth) who is not psychologically recovered from his war experience.

Situations go from bad to worst for poor, isolated Larita. It is up to her young husband to stand up for her.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The sitting down on the couch repeatedly; 2.) The Can-Can dance routine (a bad choice); and 3.) The Tango (a really bad choice).

audience reaction: They liked this movie.

recommendation: This is good for people interested in culture clash-type movies. English and American, so similar yet so dissimilar.

spoiler alert! Why did the prim and proper sister-in-law agree to the suggestion of what not to wear for the Can-Can dance?

fyi: Although she has a "killer" body, I really don't find Jessica Biel's face all that appealing. And speaking of body, check out the smooth curves on that hot Fraser-Nash BMW!

word of advice: Know what you're getting yourself into if you plan on getting married, and lay all your cards out on the table at the outset.

tidbits: As I was in the process of exiting the shopping center, I almost walked into a plate glass. And my past life as a bird flew before me!

TRANSFORMERS: ROTF, PG-13 ( 2 hr & 30 min)

1st time

where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 in Fairfield, CA

when: Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

show: 12:01 am

auditorium: 13

seat: 6th row, 14th column

2nd time

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Thursday, June 25th, 2009

show: 10:40 pm

auditorium: 7

seat: 1st row, 8ht column ( for that "El Cheapo" I-Max feeling--actually, it was crowded in there with the better seats all taken-up )

3rd time

where: AMC BAY STREE 16 in Emeryville, CA

when: Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

show: 12:01 am I-Max

auditorium: 8

seat: 3rd row, 8ht column

They've fallen, but they can get up!

Around 17,000 BC, Decepticon explorers (known then as "The Seekers") from Cybertron came to our Solar System for the purpose of locating stars that do not support life in order that they may destroy such stars to keep the Energen Cube functioning at peak efficiency so that both Decepticons and Autobots do not deteriorate and die. Upon discovering that the Earth only had primitive, hence "dispensable," life forms, one of these Decepticon explorers turned rogue and mustered an army to expediently annihilate the helpless life forms on Earth. After a great battle which caused the lives of several Prime Guardians (of which Optimus is the last descendant), the defeated evil Decepticon, given the moniker of " The Fallen," was imprisoned for all of Eternity.

I know that this has a Judeo-Christian bend, but it is how the animosity between the two groups of Cybertronians is explained. And so the legend of shared history with Humanity begins, for they have been around with us for all these millennia, albeit incognito.

In this sequel, the Decepticons resurrect Megatron as they hunt for Sam Twitwimpy--no! Weakwillie--opps! my bad ... Witwicky--yeah! ( Shia LaBeouf) who holds the key to finding the concealed solar destroyer. The Autobots are outnumbered and outgunned this time around! Will the Decepticons succeed in destroying all the Autobots so that nothing will stand in their way of destroying the Sun? The answer lies in Sam.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The shoot-out at the Witwicky house; 2.) Sam's mom high on pot; 3.) Jock-strap scene; 4.) Stun gun at the museum; 5.) Agent Simmons (John Turturro) on the Great Pyramid, looking up at the giant Decepticon; and, of course, for you horndogs out there, there's a scene with Mikaela (Megan Fox) airbrushing a motorcycle (wearing a so-short shorts that would make even Daisy Duke blush!) and a scene with Alice (Isabel Lucas--related to the famous George, perhaps?) making-out with Sam before All-Hell breaks loose!

recommendation: The audience really loved this one; a "hands-clapper" ending.

spoiler alert! The soldiers, although they know what they're dealing with, still don't stockpile on heavy armor-piercing rounds and tank busters. The Cybertronians still can't aim and shoot better than their human counterparts. Agent Simmons says, "Infintinsimal," when what he means to say is: Infinitesimal. Why do the Cybertronians need to blink for? Why did the Prime Guardians not hide the solar destroyer somewhere else like, say perhaps, Pluto? And why did not the airbags deploy when Mikaela ran into the light post? (I know! Because it's a Saturn piece of c--p car that no self-respecting Autobot would want to transform into--they, the quintessential gentlemen, prefer "precious metals," not paper or PLASTIC.) Why is it that they always get a black man (Tony Todd, this time) to do the voice of the "Evil One?" And what is with the constantly bickering twin Autobots who are ghetto-trash talkin' pimped-out and blinged-out illiterates (think STAR WARS' Jar Jar Binks as a hint for your answer)? Hey, Hollywood, it's high time for you to rework your racial stereotypes. Ooo! do me. I'm an Asian man and I don't know the meaning of the word, "Fun." Have me do the voice of the evil bad guy next time for in actuality I sound funnier than the Doberman in the movie, UP, and, hence, cannot be taken seriously at my word (there goes my Mindanawen Pride--I will be disowned by my own people, I just know it).

fyi: Although this sequel is Bigger and Louder, it is not necessarily Better for me since the novelty of the first one didn't rub-off on this second installment.

word of advice: It's no wonder why General Motors filed for bankruptcy protection. They were sued because the GM-bots are a natural magnet for the destructive Decepticons, with each encounter leaving a wide swath of ruin and the destruction of the world's major tourist spots in their wake! They should have the other car makers share in the liability costs in the third installment. Thankfully, the Cybertronians hadn't trashed Greece yet since Nia Vardalos needed the scenery for the making of MY LIFE IN RUINS--but, then again, when you think about it ... hmmm--oh, never mind.

tidbits: At 11:58 pm, someone in the back of the auditorium yelled, "Hey, everyone. It's my birthday!" Then most everyone sang, "Happy Birthday." But I didn't sing along because it would have been conceited of me to sing it since it also happened to be my birthday. Then some blonde wearing an Optimus Prime mask got up and did a very restrained (hence, lame) "booty dance." O, for the love of Optimus Prime and the rest of the Autobots, woman! how could you? I was just hoping more for a Drew Barrymore, (it rhymes) "iykwim!" I should have, at least, stood up and exclaimed, Hey, it's my birthday, too! Where are my birthday kisses? Darn it! I guess I'll be seeing these guys again for the midnight showing of the latest (and last?) in the HARRY POTTER franchise since they obviously are fans, too, of the series, judging from their reaction to the preview.

After the movie, as I'm walking to my car, about ten minutes to 3:00 a.m., I see a guy walking up to the cineplex wearing a pair of dark glasses! Dude, it's, like, still DARK out, either take those damn glasses off or walk with a white cane. And if you do walk with a white cane, stay home, 'cause you can't see since you're blind. Duhh ....

2nd tidbits: In my second time watching this movie at the Century 14 Vallejo, the idiot seated two seats to my left at one point talked on his damn cellphone! At least, the movie's sound was loud enough to almost cancel out this rudeness. As I've said in an earlier post, I try to avoid coming here in the first two weeks of a block-buster's run because the Vallejo natives can get noisy, rude AND inconsiderate!

3rd tidbits: I saw it for the third time because I really wanted to see it in I-Max on June 25th at the Fairfield cineplex, but the 10:30 pm (?) show was sold-out. So I went to the Vallejo cineplex, instead. To make-up for it, I saw it once more in REAL I-Max at the AMC in Emeryville.

THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123, R ( 1 hr & 44 min)

1st time

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Friday, June 12th, 2009

show: 1:05 pm

auditorium: 11

seat: 4th row, 7th column

2nd time

where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 in Fairfield, CA

when: Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

show: 9:30 pm

auditorium: 7

seat: 4th row, 5th column

A subway train is hijacked by a group which demands a large ransom of $10,000,000.01 from the city of New York. If the ransom is not paid in a timely manner (i.e. at 3:13 pm), the passengers will be executed one at a time for every minute past the deadline. The vindictive evil mastermind with a death wish, Dennis Ford a.k.a. Ryder (John Travolta) plays opposite a train dispatcher with a questionable past, Walter Garber (Denzel Washington). But what is really at stake here does not come to surface until later on in this tight thriller with excellent performances from both actors.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The one in which Ryder talks about what a sled dog did; 2.) The man and boy needing to urinate; 3.) Ryder vulgarly berating the Mayor (James Gandolfini); 4.) The bribery confession; and 4.) The mayor urged to act upon the opportunity of a "leadership moment."

audience reaction: They enjoyed this movie which turned out to have a "hands-clapper" ending.

recommendation: If you love Suspense Thrillers, you'll love this one.

spoiler alert! It's only in New York City, it seems, where you'll find idiots driving across an intersection even though sirens from about a dozen or so vehicles in an emergency police motorcade are blaring loud enough to wake up the dead! I guess said idiots are busy talking on their cellphones (my pet peeve) or listening to their I-Pods (a pet peeve in the making) at the same time that they are driving. Meanwhile, a self-professed train commuting dispatcher has an easy time of negotiating the crowded and busy streets of NYC in a truck, which puts the Humvee to shame, with nary a scratch on its fenders! Wow! Why did the bad guys remove their bullet-proof vests when they knew that the cops were in hot pursuit of them? When Ryder said that there were 17 hostages left, there were actually 18.

fyi: A reviewer cryptically says that this is "a thriller for our times." I think I know what is meant: Days prior to 911, the value of stocks on American airliners dropped precipitously as knowledgeable investors (insiders) predicted a marked and rapid devaluation of such stocks. Just check the stock market history for the days before 911 (if they have not been altered yet). They made their money on the Blood of the Innocents! This is alluded to in the movie. This whole damn evil and disgusting affair makes me sick! My heart goes out to those who lost their love ones in the tragedy.

I did not see the original, so I have no way of knowing which one is better.

word of advice: Do let Morality and Ethics guide your conscience in your investment endeavors.

tidbits: On my way to Oakland, about two weeks ago on I-80, this older red Honda Civic drove past my car with its driver texting--yes, T-E-X-T-I-N-G! What a f-----g bitch! I should have cut in front of her and slammed on my brakes. I don't recall if the license plate is from New York, though. On another note, now we know that 10 million dollars (in hundred dollar bills) weigh about 220 pounds. Also, I went to see this for the second time as I waited for the midnight showing of TRANSFORMERS, ROTF; it was either this or stand for hours in line in the crowded and stuffy main lobby where a box office clerk told me that the line started at around 6:00 pm! Folks, get a life!

LAND OF THE LOST, PG-13 (1 hr & 33 min)

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Friday, June 5th, 2009

show: 11:15 am

auditorium: 7

seat: 5th row, 8ht column

Doctor Rick Marshall (Will Ferrell), a radical scientist obsessed with his Time Warp Theory, has a televised altercation with talk-show host Matt Lauer. The resulting loss of his credibility in the scientific community relegates him to a demeaning job as a curator at a theme park.

Holly (Anna Friel), a graduate student who idolizes Dr. Marshall, tracks him down and inspires him to build his time warp machine and test it at a cheesy, dilapidated amusement park (why this place, I don't know) operated by redneck Will (Danny McBride). It works!

Before they can say, "wtf?!," they find themselves transported to an alternate Earth populated with dinosaurs and alternate creatures interacting in the hodgepodge time-space fiasco. In the resulting confusion, they lose the time warp machine and must get it back if they are to return home; otherwise, the T-Rex which relentlessly pursues them with dogged determination will make "breakfast-lunch-and-dinner" meals of them!

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Rick camouflaging his scent to avoid detection by predatory dinosaurs; 2.) The T-Rex leaving a gift-wrapped present for the object of its intended predation, putting a clever twist to an accepted paleontological fact; 3.) Chaka, the Monkey Man (Jorma Taccone) singing in the pterodactyl nest; 4.) The Rick versus T-Rex square-off; and 5.) The second appearance on the Matt Lauer show.

audience reaction: The audience really liked this silly comedy intended to appeal to children with a fascination for dinosaurs. They also drooled all over the Giant Crab scene; I know I did!

recommendation: Children will "eat-up" this kids' movie! See it with your brats--I mean, kids--in tow.

spoiler alert: How did the T-Rex eat the astronaut without shredding his spacesuit apart? How did it gift-wrap the present? And how did Holly easily figure out the language of a particular species of previously unknown (missing link) primate?

fyi: I've often wondered how a T-Rex, which seems to resemble a Kangaroo in anatomical structure, ambulated. Now I know (I think)!

word of advice: If you take children to see this movie, make sure that they are not the restless, hyper-active kind. Put them on a leash--get the kind which comes with a choke collar attached (Har, har, har)! Just kidding ....

tidbits: If you haven't seen Danny Mcbride's THE FIST-FOOT WAY ( a Martial Arts comedy), you should. Lastly, there are pictures of Anna Friel on the 'net, "iykwim," for those of you who like her.

THE HANG-OVER, R (1 hr & 40 min)

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Friday, June 5th, 2009

show: 1:50 pm

auditorium: 12

seat: 4th row, 8ht column

Four guys go to Las Vegas for a stag party since one of them will be getting married in two days' time. As they drink a toast, they unwittingly gulp down the date-rape drug, "roofies," and awaken the next day with no recollection of the previous night's wild shenanigans. Upon realizing that they are now one guy short of a four-pack, they frantically go about searching for and piecing together clues in the hope of finding the groom-to-be in time for his up-coming nuptial. In their mad dash around town, they are getting hints that what happened the night before is very convoluted, kinky and bizarre!

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The community service deal with the police department; 2.) The man in the trunk; and 3.) The Mike Tyson surveillance video.

audience reaction: The audience totally enjoyed this movie.

recommendation: Go see this movie.

spoiler alert! The security guards should have easily figured out where the mattress came from. Anybody who has stayed overnight at a casino hotel would know that the windows don't open. This is to prevent gamblers who lose it all from jumping to their deaths. I learned this from a co-worker on a Reno road trip we did years ago (also a four-pack team).

fyi: This is by far the funniest "road trip" movie that I've seen in the last few years. Another one that is really funny is "RAT RACE" from some years back.

word of advice: I think this movie outlines what could possibly go wrong if you give the date-rape drug to the wrong gender. Watch out!

Stay for the ending credits! It ties-in the missing pieces in a funny way through a picture montage.

tidbits: As Heather Graham's stripper character starts to breast-feed her baby, someone in the audience (not I) yells, "Yeah!" much to everyone else's amusement.

That poor, innocent baby subjected to an "arm manipulation" is going to grow up ashamed and disturbed!

The motto: "What happens in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas," apparently does not apply to other cities in Nevada like, say for instance, Reno .... Because what I did in Reno got blabbed about at work! Yup, no more road trips for me--I learned my lesson. Thank you.

DRAG ME TO HELL, PG-13 (1 hr & 39 min)

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Thursday, June 4th, 2009

show: 9:45 pm

auditorium: 14

seat: 3rd row, 7th column

Christine Brown ( played by Alison Lohman) is a loan officer who wants to impress her boss and her fiance's (played by Justin Long) parents. Nothing but becoming the assistant manager will do it for her, in her own mind. So, in her desperate bid to win the promotion, she denies a 3rd extension on a mortgage loan from a mysterious sugar-treats pilfering old woman, Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver). In the process, she incurs the VERY vengeful wrath of the shamed woman who makes quite a spectacle of herself in front of Christine and the rest of the people in the bank at the time. Christine gets her promotion, but is it worth it ...?

noteworthy scenes: All the oral ones.

audience reaction: They enjoyed this movie which plays more like a comedy than a horror film, hearkening back to its horror-meister Sam Raimi's glory days.

recommendation: Go see it, if you're a Sam Raimi fan. Otherwise, it's a perfect rental for "stay-in" nights.

spoiler alert! One would think that a woman who possesses such powers would have in her mix-bag of dirty magic tricks a thing or two about making lots of money the easy way.

fyi: This has got to be THE MOST oral-centric movie ever made outside of porn! It seems that Sam Raimi has a very disturbingly "Deep Throat"-ed oral fixation. You name it, it's here: Forced Entry; Deep Penetration; Gagging; Fluid Exchange; Swallowing; Spitting; Facial; Gum-Job; Biting; Tongue Action--did I miss anything else?

word of advice: You'd probably want to add this to your private/personal porn collection even though it only has a PG-13 rating.

tidbits: The caption on the movie poster and the picture itself pretty much tell you how the movie ends.

Why is it that horror movies have to have LOUD MUSIC to convey a Boo! Gotcha! feeling? It's not this way in real life--trust me, I know.

YEAR ONE , PG-13 (1 hr & 40 min)

where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 in Fairfield, CA

when: Saturday, June 20th, 2009

show: 9:45 pm

auditorium: 4

seat: 3rd row, 7th column

This movie is about an incompetent hunter, Zed (Jack Black), and an effeminate gatherer, Oh (Michael Cera), who are forced to leave their tribe and embark on what is to become "The Father of All Road Trips" after Zed eats a fruit--which looks like a LITERAL Golden Delicious Apple-- from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. They soon meet up and interact with Biblical characters in the persons of Adam, Cain, Abel, Abraham and Isaac in a Time-Warp sort of way. (Strangely enough, Lilith is mentioned but not Eve. Go figure ....)

Meanwhile, the rest of their tribe is overrun by a competing tribe and then is sold into slavery.

Both parties meet up again in Sodom for the climactic battle between good and evil when the respective objects of Zed and Oh's affection are chosen to become virgin sacrifices to appease the pagan god and give the drought-striken land much needed rain.

noteworthy scene: The scene wherein Abraham "invents" circumcision is a very funny one.

who? Is that Adrien Brody doing a cameo in an un-credited role as the royal advisor? The nose looks familiar. But I don't think that I saw his name listed in the ending credits.

audience reaction: The audience laughed through-out the movie.

recommendation: This comedy is a must-see for atheists, agnostics, and rebellious teens. Otherwise, stay away.

spoiler alert! Although this movie is played for laughs, it is a subtle form of anti-Semitism with its skewed presentation of Old Testament accounts meant to challenge tradition and perhaps incite anarchy.

What's next for this Dumb-namic Duo: A road-trip into New Testament times? Yes, I see it now: They're hanging-out with Jesus Christ at the crucifixion--O Lord! what is the passionate Mel Gibson gonna say about this?

fyi: On the whole, religious Jews and Christians (and perhaps Muslims) will find this as offensive, if not more so, as how last year's THE LOVE GURU, by Mike Myers, was to adherents of Hinduism.

word of advice: For the reason stated immediately above, you may want to skip this one. But if you do decide to go see this movie, make sure that you're not eating anything when Zed picks up something off the ground for a closer look and further ANALysis (a barf-bag alert in the making?).

tidbits:  I remember the day of  my circumcision very well.  A beautiful nurse came in and started "prepping" me for surgery, and I was sheepishly enjoying it.  But, then, the doctor walked in--and my penis tried to hide from him because it sensed what was about to happen.  Hey! circumcision is no laughing matter.  It wasn't to me when I was circumcised before my 12th (?) birthday on Philippine Independence Day--the anesthetic didn't work (surgery is not the time to use a placebo on a helpless patient); and the damn doctor took his time ( I think because the beautiful nurse was his girlfriend ) and still didn't do it quite right! Yep, while the rest of the country celebrates its independence, I observe a somber memorial dedicated to my liberation from my own foreskin! My parents sure displayed a sadistically crazy sense of humor in picking that particular day of the year. But I ain't laughing!

I walked out of  that surgery room trying to look dignified despite the fact that I was just tortured.  But my little brother, who also was circumcised alongside me, was crying the whole time and holding the crotch area of  his pants away from his painful penis.  My cover was blown.  I just wanted to turn around and kick my brother in the balls!

THE PROPOSAL, PG-13 (1hr & 47 min)

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Friday, June 19th, 2009

show: 10:30 pm

auditorium: 7

seat: 4th row, 10th column

This movie is a romantic comedy pairing a "Satan's Mistress", played by Sandra Bullock, with her executive assistant, played by Ryan Reynolds, at the book publishing firm in which they work when she becomes threatened with deportation.

They go to Alaska to meet his parents. It is here that she realizes that her unassuming male assistant is more than someone she thinks him to just be. Also, being orphaned at 16, she had built-up a seeming impenetrable emotional barrier which is now at risk of crumbling down in the midst of an almost tight-knit family atmosphere. Faced with conflicting emotions, she has to decide what is best for everyone concerned during the wedding ceremony.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The hip-hop duet; 2.) The bedroom collision; 3.) The chanting and dancing for Mother Nature; 4.) The you-call-that-a barn scene; and 5.) Some scenes with the "Ramon" character.

audience reaction: The mostly-female audience really enjoyed it as it has funny scenes designed especially to appeal to women. Yep, it's a "chick flick."

recommendation: Go see it if you're into romantic comedies.

spoiler alert! What NUDITY?!?!?! I must have blinked or I need a new pair of glasses. Maybe I'll see this again; but, next time, with a pair of binoculars! I'm talking about "nudity" from a guy's perspective, bare (pun intended) that in mind.

fyi: I got the hots for Sandra Bullock ever since I saw her for the first time in the movie, SPEED. And she's still looking good! And she just got voted 2nd place winner in this summer's Top Ten Hottest Women in Hollywood--and that's saying a lot!

word of advice: Even if it's just a "chick flick," go see it alone anyway so the single girls in the auditorium who fantasize about a beautiful romance/match made in Heaven will take notice of you as a confident/sensitive guy who's not ashamed to let girls know that he's in touch with his feminine side (whatever that "crap" is). One question: If I get in touch with my feminine side, will that be considered sexual harassment?

tidbits: At around 11:56 pm, the movie screen blacked-out. I was happy because it meant that I would get a free movie pass and have a chance to watch a critical scene of this movie again with any of the three pairs of binoculars that I have handy at home. Unluckily for me, the projectionist fixed the problem in under one minute. Shucks!

IMAGINE THAT, PG (1 hr & 47 min)

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Monday, June 15th, 2009

show: 4:25 pm

auditorium: 1

seat: 4th row, 7th column

This movie is about a divorced (separated?) dad, played by Eddie Murphy, who tries to balance his career with his fatherhood. But a rival at work and a possible promotion makes the workaholic dad, Evan Danielson, de-prioritize his fatherly duties. His neglected and insecure daughter, Olivia, played by Yara Shahidi, soon develops a friendship with imaginary beings to compensate for the lack of quality time with her dad.

On a fateful day of scheduling mix-up, Evan finds out that his daughter's imaginary friends seem to have a knack for predicting business take-overs and mergers, and stock valuations. Desperately in need of bettering his "mystical" Native American rival, Evan exploits Olivia's friendship with her invisible playmates. Soon, Evan becomes re-acquainted with his inner-child, to the betterment of his relationship with Olivia and his estranged wife, Trish.

What Evan does not know until the end is that all he needs to be both a successful business professional AND a loving father is to re-apply his childlike creativity as the occasion may arise.

noteworthy scene: A doting dad playing dress-up with his daughter.

audience reaction: Very good.

recommendation: Take your children to see this movie.

spoiler alert! None. Unlike the movie UP, it took no effort for me to suspend my disbelief as I watched this movie. But I do take up issue with the "understanding boss" played by Martin Sheen--show me a boss like that and I'll work for him!

fyi: The woman who plays the estrange wife character, Trish (Nicole Ari Parker), is HOT! Why Evan would want to be separated from her when she didn't come across as a "bitch" is beyond my reasoning ability.

word of advice: As a courtesy to others, turn-off your damn cellphone. Early in the show, a white old-fart "lady"'s cellphone RANG and she ANSWERED it! Maybe she was just trying to impress the rest of the audience with her techno-savvy or maybe it is just a "Vallejo local" thing. Either way, it is VERY RUDE AND VERY INCONSIDERATE!!!

tidbits: I should not eat popcorn if I plan on pigging-out at a Chinese buffet after a show!

UP, a correction on the previous post

The first time that I saw this was also at the Century 14 Vallejo on May 30th, for the 9:40 pm show in auditorium 7. Sorry for the mix-up.

The second time was at the same cineplex, as noted, on June 2nd, for the 10:30 pm 3D show in auditorium 8.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The Doberman Alpha Dog speaking for the first time (a totally unexpected "this came out of nowhere" scene--very clever of the Pixar writers); 2.) The leaf blower to-the-rescue scene, also a very clever one; 3.) The dogs playing a card game (a nod to contemporary art); and 4.) The grape soda bottle-cap in the closing ceremony (which I expected would happen).

spoiler alert! The media could have easily gone along for a flight alongside the floating house and, by extension, discovered Kevin's natural habitat, as well. But, then again, this is a kid's movie. So, suspend any and all of your disbeliefs and just sit back and enjoy the movie with your inner child and/or your children.

tidbits: Attention: Alexandria Leanne W., my co-worker. I know you love dogs. Go see this movie because it's got dogs that you'll enjoy watching.

UP, in Disney Digital 3D, PG (1 hr & 36 min)

where: AMC BAY STREET 16 in Emeryville (1.1 miles away from Pixar Studios)

when: Wednesday (free popcorn day w/ movie card), June 17th, 2009

show: 10:30 pm

auditorium: 13

seat: 3rd row, 8th column

This animated movie from Pixar Studios is about getting a second chance after lost hope, lost love and unfulfilled dreams. It starts with the vicarious adventures of a boy, Carl Fredericksen, (someone that we can all relate to) and a friendship with a girl, Ellie, which leads to a one-and-only Love. The 5-minute (approximate) "silent movie" bitter-sweet vignette from their wedding and on to Ellie's death is conveyed with such emotive poignancy that I could not help but shed a tear over Carl's personal loss. But this is a necessary introduction into the transition from mild-mannered Carl to super-grump Fredericksen which eventually leads to his unlikely pairing with an ebullient and eager-to-please chubby Russell, a Wilderness Explorer Scout.

When a confrontation with a construction crew member ends with cantankerous Carl striking the hapless victim in the head, the court orders Carl be sent to a retirement home. But not one to part with a home that is a treasure trove of sentimental value, Carl devices an ingenious plan to save his home from demolition by attaching thousands of helium balloons to it and floating it off to Paradise Falls somewhere in South America. Unbeknown to him, Russell inadvertently becomes his passenger on this one-way maiden , and only, journey to a faraway place.

In the midst of a strange land replete with new sights, sounds, and strange creatures, Carl slowly bonds with Russell and becomes a surrogate father (shouldn't this be GRANDfather?). It is in this strange land that Carl meets with his boyhood hero, Charles Muntz and his quadriped army of "talking dogs."

Unfortunately, Charles has now devolved into a deranged hunter obssessed with a need for vindicating himself before the world, in general, and before the scientific community, in particular. His obssession centers around a very elusive giant flightless bird that he has been relentlessly tracking down with the aid of his dogs for many decades in his self-imposed exile. Wanting to take SOLE credit for a discovery which is rightfully his, Charles snatches the bird away from little Russell, who found it and has taken it in as a pet named Kevin. An "old men" tug-of-war ensues.

This movie is another WINNER from the folks at Pixar Studios--kudo to them for a job excellently done!

prediction: This is the hands-down favorite to win an Oscar award for Best Animation Film.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Construction site boss talking on a cellphone; and 2.) STAR WARS emblazed on a local theatre's marquee. Because of these two, I cannot pinpoint the approximate year in which this movie is set.

audience reaction: Very positive; a "hands-clapper" ending.

recommendation: A very definitive Must-See!

spoiler alert! In real life, the scientists would not have erred so badly in their findings, and the house would never be floated away for thousands of miles INTACT (kids, don't try this at home with your home)! And let's not even get into the whole "sovereign air space" issue. But this is animation intended for children, so I'm willing to suspend my disbelief.

fyi: This is actually the third time that I've seen this movie. Originally, I planned on seeing this movie at the Piedmont Theatre on Piedmont Avenue in Oakland, CA. Why? Because I heard on the radio that Fenton's Creamery & Restaurant is in the movie. This 114 year-old establishment is an historic landmark located just two blocks (I think) away from Piedmont Theatre and is a very popular--and busy--local hang-out (great ice cream and generous portions, too; so, to Hell with lactose-intolerance!). It should be added as a must-go-to place on any tourist's list of places to go. Disappointingly for me though, UP is not showing at this theatre.

So I went to AMC BAY STREET 16 in Emeryville because this is the ONLY place in the Whole Wide World to see a Pixar movie. Unfortunately for me, the vast multitude of animation fans express the same sentiment as I do since all the shows were SOLD OUT!

I ended up seeing it for the first time at EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 in 2D. Over a week later, I saw it for the second time in 3D here at CENTURY 14 VALLEJO with some damn noisy Hispanics seated in the row behind mine--I usually avoid coming here to the Vallejo cineplex on opening week because it caters to a noisy and rude crowd (why do you think their security guards carry guns for?).

word of advice: If you live in the Vallejo, CA area, don't see a popular/block-buster movie at the local cineplex during its first two weeks of shows because the lines get very long and slow and because of the stated reason in the previous paragraph. Otherwise, proceed at your own risk.

tidbits: The court summons card that Carl holds in his hand as he waits for his appointment with the judge is stamped: "E94608" for Emeryville, CA 94608, the city and zip code of Pixar Studios.

Another of Oakland, California's, historic landmark is shown in the movie: Paramount Theatre, an old-style theatre which now is mostly a venue devoted to the Arts (i.e. ballet and symphony).

In the hallway, on my way to auditorium 13, I saw a young couple. What caught my attention was the girl's nose which was completely bandaged-up. Girl, stay home! How do you expect to make out with your nose all-swollen and painful? 'Just wondering, that's all. Never mind ....

And speaking of E, there's another E in Emeryville, E-22 Cafe and Wine Bar. No, the E-22 does not stand for "Emeryville's 22nd out of a hundred best businesses in the local community." Nope, it stands for Elevation (from sea level): 22 feet. It is about halfway between the freeway and San Pablo Avenue. It is on 1366 Powell Street between Hollis and Doyle streets. If you head towards San Pablo Avenue and you drive past the white metal tower on the right, then you just passed it by. One of the co-owners, Erick, is my nephew. If you go to check out this place, tell him I said, "Hi!" and that his Uncle Butch sent you (Har, har, har).

Their hours are: Mo-We: 8:ooa to 7:30p, Th-Fr: 8:00a to 9:30p & Sa: 11:00a to 5:00p.

Oh! And one more thing .... Ask Erick if he remembers way back when he was a little fat spoiled brat swimming with me in a pool at an aunt's house in Castro Valley one hot summer afternoon when he waded over to where I was at and exclaimed for everybody to hear, "Your boobs are bigger than my mom's!" I would have drowned him that day, if not for all the witnesses at the swimming pool. (Just so you know, I was into lifting weights back then.)