CHERNOBYL DIARIES, R ( 1 hr & 26 min )

where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Wednesday, May 30th, 2012
show:  12:25 p.m. ( Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee )
costs:  $6.50 Ticket + $1.00 2.0 oz Odwalla Berries Go Mega health bar ( bought at the Dollar Tree Store before the movie and smuggled-in ) + $4.50 20.0 oz VitaminWater Lemonade + $9.20 lunch @ Empire Chinese Buffet here in Vallejo after the movie ( + $1.80 Tip ) = $23.00
auditorium:  12
seat:  4th row, 6th column


synopsis/overview:  A group of tourists goes on an "extreme tour" of Pripyat, the city where the workers of the Chernobyl Nuclear Reactor once lived before the disaster of April 26th, 1986. Soon after they explore the abandoned city, they find themselves stranded and hunted down one by one.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Engagement ring; 2.) Cobblestones; 3.) Extreme tourism; 4.) "Nature has reclaimed its rightful home"; 5.) Checkpoint; 6.) "I want to show you something in water"; 7.) Dead fish; 8.) Fifty-thousand people; 9.) May Day; 10.) Silence; 11.) Dead dog; 12.) "It's contaminated"; 13.) Chernobyl reactor # 4; 14.) Ash; 15.) Bear; 16.) Damaged spark plug wires; 17.) "I work alone"; 18.) "It's a f-cking hazard having you as a brother"; 19.) Gunshots; 20.) "They got him"; 21.) "We've got to see if he's alive"; 22.) Image; 23.) Dogs; 24.) "These are exit holes"; 25.) Bus; 26.) "We've got cables for the van"; 27.) The chase; 28.) "Is that from the van"; 29.) "It's recording"; 30.) "We can't leave them. We've got to find them"; 31.) Map; 32.) Kid; 33.) Crowd; 34.) "What is this place"; 35.) Ring; 36.) Ladder; 37.) "My face is burning"; 38.) Attack; 39.) "I can't see anything"; 40.) "Please help us"; 41.) Hospital; and 42.) Locked cell.

audience reaction:  Mild, at best.

recommendation:  It was okay. You might want to wait for it to come out as a rental.

spoiler alert!  If the radiation killed the local living organisms, how were those fish able to survive such an exposure? There would be no bears and no stray dogs in that town for the same reason, since they'd be dead after just a few days of radiation exposure. If a badly-mauled guy says of another guy, "They got him," they got him--no need to check-up on him--he's dead and gone! Why was there water dripping down into that indoor pond when the water supply to that entire abandoned town should have already been turned-off many years ago? Radioactive poisoning can cause genetic mutation leading to death. So, those humanoids shouldn't have survived for so long. And, even if they did, their cells would have mutated to the point where sterility would become inevitable. And, even if a highly-irradiated couple were to produce an offspring, that offspring would not be genetically and physically normal at all. And all of those humanoids would be blind and deaf and rendered non-ambulatory by their excessive radioactive exposure! Why didn't he speak to them in Russian?

fyi:  The Chernobyl Nuclear  Disaster of April 26th, 1986 was worst than the recent Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Disaster of March 11th, 2011.

word of advice:  Heed warning signs.

tidbits:  Two bitches at two different Intersections ignored the Stop Sign and tried to cut me off when I had the right-of-way! I just stared at them as I made my way to the theatre after shopping at The Dollar Tree Store first. What's wrong with people today? Nobody else seems to want to stop at Stop Signs or at Red Lights anymore? I see a lot of that happening here in Vallejo, CA. Maybe, it's just a Vallejo "thing".

At 3:33 p.m., as I waited for the Left Turn Light to turn green at the corner of Tuolumne and Redwood streets, on my way home from the buffet, a beautiful and sexy black girl, dressed in black, crossed the intersection in the company of a white guy who was dressed in a white T-shirt and blue jeans, and ... red boxer shorts! His pants was below his buttocks as he walked across nonchalantly. He was either trying to impress the beautiful girl in his company with his wannabe "Poser Look" ( Poseur ) or he just couldn't wait to "jump her bones"! That poor whitey must've been sick with the "Jungle Fever" to go walking around like that--because he had to be sick in the head to think that he'd get "Lucky" dressed that way! Ha, ha, ha.


*

MEN IN BLACK III in 3-D, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 44 min )

where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Friday, May 25th, 2012
show:  11:30 a.m. ( Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee )
costs:  $10.00 Ticket + $1.53 bulk Chocolate Candy + $4.50 20.0 oz VitaminWater Power-C + $9.73 lunch @ Golden City Buffet here in Vallejo ( + $1.52 Tip ) = $27.28
auditorium:  7
seat:  4th row, 8ht column


synopsis/overview:  Agent J ( Will Smith ) travels back to 1969 to save the life of his partner, Agent K ( Tommy Lee Jones ), and to keep Boris ( Jemaine Clement ), an alien threat, from changing the course of history.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Non-conjugal visit; 2.) "You complete me"; 3.) Moon; 4.) Cellphone; 5.) Eulogy; 6.) The device; 7.) The Chinese restaurant; 8.) "You don't know it K, but you're already dead"; 9.) "Don't lie to your kids"; 10.) "Should've killed him"; 11.) "Boglodite assassin"; 12.) "Secrets of the Universe"; 13.) 5K; 14.) "Your partner"; 15.) "He smiles like this"; 16.) "Damn it, it's not the tick"; 17.) "Temporal fracture"; 18.) Proximity warning; 19.) Always Going Out Of Business; 20.) "That's a big blip"; 21.) "No, you're gonna leave me hanging"; 22.) Empire State Building; 23.) "Wasn't the best time for your people"; 24.) Time jump; 25.) Elevator; 26.) Cops; 27.) Amusement park; 28.) "O ... K"; 29.) Eye Exam; 30.) Clue; 31.) "You have some city miles on you"; 32.) Bowling alley; 33.) The Factory; 34.) "Fifth Dimensional Being"; 35.) Diner; 36.) The game; 37.) The gift; 38.) "Texas Two-Step"; 39.) Rolaids; 40.) "Stop staring at it"; 41.) Arc-Net; 42.) Moon launch; 43.) "That's for lying to me. That's for telling the truth"; 44.) "But where there is death, there will always be death"; 45.) Jet-packs; 46.) "The truth"; 47.) MPs; 48.) "I told the truth last time"; 49.) Launch pad; 50.) "That's not possible"; 51.) "You call this in, they'll scrub the launch"; 52.) "Go ahead, arrest me"; 53.) Daddy; 54.) "How the hell do I know what I don't know"; and 55.) "This is my new favorite moment in human history."

favorite scene:  I liked the Cape Canaveral scene with the little boy in it. It was such a poignant scene.

audience reaction:  The audience liked it. But it didn't get a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation:  I liked it, too. Go see it if you're an MIB fan.

spoiler alert!  That woman traveled for at least three days just to deliver the cake to its destination--'doesn't make sense at all! That was a very, very, very expensive trip just to deliver the cake--again, 'doesn't make sense at all--highly suspicious, if anything! That "spider" thing only tapped on the chains; and the chains broke ...? And in a much later scene, the "spider" thing had a hard time taking the box away from Griffin's ( Michael Stuhlbarg ) neck. Come on! If she feared for her life, why did the mini-skirted woman just use her left hand to hold onto Boris's arm? I'd have grabbed onto it with both hands and I'd have wrapped my legs around his head to, if I were her, especially since he had quite a skillful, long tongue! Ha, ha, ha. If the vacuum was strong enough to suck the people out of that building, then it was strong enough to suck the air out of the people's lungs; in other words, they would not have been able to scream or talk because there would be no more air passing through their vocal chords for vocal sounds to be generated. Boris landed on the bright side of the Moon; so, depending on where the Moon was, relative to its location from the Sun, Boris would have been burned to death because the bright side of the Moon can get hotter than the hottest place on Earth ( hotter than boiling water temperature ) and the moon doesn't have a thick atmosphere like our planet has to shield most of the Sun's heat away from its own surface. An iron skillet doesn't make that kind of a sound---Fire the Foley Artist! This movie gives new meaning to, "Chinese Alien"! Okay, when Agent J took a group shot of those people with his memory-erasing device, the people in the crowd who were standing at the rear only got a partial shot of the flash and some probably never even got flashed in the eyes! If you're standing at, or near, the top of the Empire State Building, a car horn's sound from the traffic down below WILL NOT SOUND THAT LOUD. Boris's bike was obviously of alien manufacture; how'd he get a hold of it? If 5th Dimensional Beings can see all future possibilities, why couldn't their own race save their planet from being totally annihilated, huh? A prototype for a unicycle motorbike was already built around 15 years, or so, ago. The jet-packs had rockets that made them go up vertically--but they didn't have rockets that could make them travel horizontally. So, how were the three of them able to travel horizontally to their destination?

fyi:  Did you notice the food truck where Agent K got his pocket bread sandwich at? The meat tower to its left made it suspiciously look like a Shawarma food truck--think back to what Iron Man said near the end of the movie in MARVEL'S THE AVENGERS. More than likely, it was a Shawarma food truck, though. And that sandwich was a Shawarma sandwich. I wonder if they serve Pork Shawarma. Ha, ha, ha.

Andy Warhol ( 1928 - 1987 ) achieved some artistic notoriety when his picture of an overly-endowed male genitalia was put on billboards in the Los Angeles area. It probably caused some traffic accidents, too! ( 'Not to mention, a lot of "Penis Envy". )

word of advice:  Look out for your partner.

tidbits: My first order of business for the day was to go to the Goin' Postal shop at the Lucky's Supermarket Shopping Center on the corner of Tuolumne and Redwood streets, here in Vallejo, CA,  to ask about their mail box rental rates. Because Mike, the proprietor of the Postal Annex shop at the Gateway Plaza Shopping Center on Admiral Callaghan Lane, also here in Vallejo, is going out of business on June 15th as he will be retiring; and all eight prospective buyers of his business didn't qualify for a business loan. Goin' Postal is much closer to home ( just a few blocks away ). So, I'll open an account with them on the 1st of June.

By the way, to those of you out there who are not familiar with it, "Goin' postal" is also an American slang for a vengeful killing spree. It got its origin some years ago when, for some unexplained reason, U.S. postal clerks who were fired from their jobs, or had quarrels with their fellow co-workers, got guns and shot their bosses and co-workers to death. The phrase stuck and is now used to describe a killing spree at any workplace.

As an aside, I have a co-worker who was fired from his previous job because he jokingly used the phrase, "Goin' postal." Somebody who heard him say it reported him to Management, and management called-in the Human Resources Representative. And, next thing you know, he was fired!

I can't wait to open an account with Goin' Postal so that I can excitedly tell some co-workers of mine about it within earshot of Management. And I'll do so after having a specially stressful time of it at work--my co-workers can attest to the fact that I stress-out a whole lot at work!  It will probably go something like this: Hey! tell the manager that I'm "Goin' Postal"; and I don't f-cking care---Cue-in the Diabolical laughter: Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha. We'll see what happens next ....

After the movie, I went to the Chase Bank branch at the Target Shopping Center here in Vallejo to make a deposit in my checking account.

I took this picture because there was a woman in my side mirror bending down to get something in the back of her mini van. Too bad she wasn't wearing a short skirt. Ha, ha, ha.

Then, I headed-on to the Golden City Chinese Buffet on the corner of Sonoma Boulevard and Mini Drive, here in Vallejo, to have lunch. One of the waiters here is very creative about his "do-it-yourself" haircuts. One time, he had a "Salad Bowl" haircut. Today, he has a "Shaved Temples" haircut. Maybe, he's trying to be "trendy" about it. So, if you see a waiter at a Chinese buffet sporting a weird or hilarious haircut, you know where it all began!

And, another thing about this Chinese buffet: Why do they have to play Madonna songs?!?!?! I, for one, CANNOT STAND TO LISTEN TO MADONNA'S VOICE!!!! It's more than bad enough that I have to be forced to listen to it at work. And I turn my car radio off as soon as a Madonna song starts to play. I'd much rather listen to a Chinese sex-kitten songstress caterwauling along to some tunes than listen to Madonna sing! Gad, is there no place here on Earth where they don't play Madonna songs at all...?

I swear, if they don't stop playing Madonna songs at Chinese buffets, the term "Goin' postal" will have to be rephrased 'cause I'll be "Goin' buffet" on them! And it won't look good because it will get messy as heck! Ha, ha, ha.

********************************

'Sorry I took so long in posting this. I recently "friended" a first cousin of mine on FaceBook. The last time that we saw each other was in 1966. ( Yup! that long ago. ) We corresponded with each other on FaceBook and went crazy talking about Cuban Cigars! And we did it in our native language, Cebuano, which I haven't used on a regular basis since 1983. I had to use a Cebuano/English dictionary to reacquaint myself with the language, to check on my spelling and word use, and to figure out what the heck he was talking about. And it would take me up to 20 minutes just to write a single, solitary sentence with the aid of the dictionary! So, most of my free time ( i.e. blog time ) was used-up writing back and forth with my cousin.

*

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 50 min )

Quickie Review:  Five couples are all expecting babies.

The audience liked it.

I didn't like it that much. And I felt like dozing-off every now and then but, perhaps, this had more to do with the fact that I didn't get enough sleep in the last few nights. More than likely, though, I'm not one to appreciate this kind of movie because of my Marital Status: Single w/o Brats.

If you have brats, I am sure that you will be more receptive to this kind of comedy in one or more of the five parallel possibilities shown.

Most of the funny scenes in this movie are those provided by the accident-prone hapless little brat--'sounds like irresponsible parenting, reckless child endangerment and child abuse to me!

Are Rebel Wilson and Jonah Hill closely related? I ask because they look like each other.

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING your little brat to go use the toilet! ( Somebody sent this to my FaceBook page )

*

BATTLESHIP, PG-13 ( 2 hr & 11 min )

I watched this the first time just to get a general feel for it.

where:  movie2k.to at Hector's house in Oakland, CA
when:  Thursday, April 25th, 2012
show:  5:00 p.m.
costs:  Free stream on stream2k
auditorium:  Hector's living room
seat:  A wooden chair

2nd time

I watched this the second time just to get the note-taking started.

where:  movie2k.to
when:  Tuesday, May 15th, 2012
show:  Very, very early in the morning
costs:  Free stream on stream2k
auditorium:  My living room
seat:  My swivel chair

3rd time


where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Friday, May 18th, 2012
show:  12:01 a.m.
costs:  $10.50 Ticket + $5.75 small Popcorn + $4.50 20.0 oz VitaminWater XXX = $20.75
auditorium:  7
seat:  7th row, 7th column


synopsis/overview:  You Sunk My Battleship


In a battle reminiscent of The Attack On Pearl Harbor, the Americans and the Japanese this time join forces with a disabled veteran and some old war veterans in a fight with an Extra-Terrestrial Fleet which is desperately trying to '"Phone Home."


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Planet G; 2.) Chicken burrito; 3.) Admiral's daughter; 4.) New recruit; 5.) RimPac 2012; 6.) RimPac Cup Finals; 7.) Jerry Lewis; 8.) "Do you have anything to say"; 9.) Naval war game; 10.) "Donald Trump/Mike Tyson"; 11.) "Who do I call to teach you humility"; 12.) "Half a man ain't enough to be a soldier"; 13.) "Stop messing things up"; 14.) Radar; 15.) NASA; 16.) "The Air Force is on-line"; 17.) "Legitimate Extra-Terrestrial contact"; 18.) "Not of this Earth"; 19.) Visual; 20.) "Bad idea"; 21.) Force field; 22.) Sonic blast; 23.) "Dead in the water"; 24.) Warning shot; 25.) Response; 26.) "You're Senior Officer"; 27.) Marine Air Base; 28.) Softball field; 29.) Freeway; 30.) "We can't get in, they can't get out"; 31.) Survivors; 32.) "The island is under attack"; 33.) "If you can't, who can"; 34.) Alien; 35.) Bad feeling; 36.) Level four; 37.) "Mahalo, mother---"; 38.) Cyborg; 39.) Communications station; 40.) Helmet; 41.) Global unrest; 42.) LandSat 7; 43.) "I don't need the radar, just the radio frequencies"; 44.) Buoys; 45.) "When we fire, they'll know where we are"; 46.) "Right now, you're gonna acquire that courage ..."; 47.) Call for help; 48.) "Let's take this somewhere they don't want to go"; 49.) Snipers; 50.) Alien counter-attack; 51.) "Let's see if we can buy the world another day"; 52.) Old veterans to the rescue; 53.) "Just not today"; 54.) "But that's not what it means, not even close"; 55.) "Cyborg" Man vs. Alien; 56.) Direct hit; 57.) Fighter jets; 58.) Awards; 59.) "Your wish came true"; 60.) "Sir, I saved the world"; 61.) Chicken burrito; and 62.) Bonus Scene after the Ending Credits.

favorite scene:  I liked the "But That's Not What It Means, Not Even Close" scene.

audience reaction:  N/A. I watched this all by myself. Hector and his wife were watching a Tele Novela in their bedroom. His son, Isma, was in the living room with me; but he was busy fighting in a boxing match against somebody in England on his X-Box 360. And his other son, Tito, was outside working on his girlfriend's car.

2nd audience reaction:  N/A

3nd audience reaction:  The audience liked it. But it didn't get a "Hands Clapper" ending.


recommendation:  It's okay. If it didn't remind me too much of the board game, I'd probably enjoy it more.

spoiler alert!  Did he have to remove three ceiling panels just to make his way down into the store? RimPac sounds like hemorrhoidal suppositories, don't you think so? It took the navy ships a while to get to the alien ships. But, when they got there, the big alien ship was still dripping lots and lots of water. If that Sonic Blast which the alien ship generated was loud enough and strong enough to shatter glass, then it was loud enough and strong enough to shatter eardrums! ( I'm talking, of course, about the eardrums of those three in the patrol boat. ) The aliens have a strange way of fighting: They operate primarily in a Counter-Attack Mode--no wonder they lost the battle. Why didn't they first restrain the captured alien? I've heard of chin "stubble", but this is ridiculous! What did the aliens do to get this kind of chin "stubble", perform oral sex on porcupines ...? These aliens can breathe our air and function normally in our planet's atmospheric pressure--yeah, right .... Those sailors got hit hard by armor-clad fists/arms and they lived through it--and not one suffered broken bones! That sailor who put on the alien helmet should have been put under medical quarantine! I didn't know that floating war museums carry live ammunition and are practically battle-ready at a moment's notice. If I were destroying an alien enemy's ship, I wouldn't say, Boom, in a sexy voice; I'd say out loud, Die! you motherf-ckers. Die! f-ckin' aliens. Why didn't the navy ships outside of the force-fielded area try to shoot through it? An Old Fart with Parkinson's Disease plus a Machine Gun is not a deadly combination. The alien ships have car-like blue headlights on--'must be the newer models .... The aliens seem to operate on a set "rules of engagement" that calls for the primary use of weapons of structural destruction, not biological destruction, i.e. their weapons seem designed to destroy structures and not destroy living organisms--well, not directly anyway--"collateral damage" takes care of that! And speaking of weapons, the aliens' primary weapons look like "armor-penetrating/busting" Pegboard Pegs and Burrowing Yo-Yos. Add to this a crucial scene that makes the whole movie seem funnily like a "fancified" sci-fi version of a famous board game and you end-up with a promotional advertisement for an upcoming kid's game which ( I suspect ) will be available soon at Wal-Mart, Toys-'R'-Us and at other fine retail stores! Why could the ship's machine guns hit the "Pegboard Pegs" but not the bigger "Burrowing Yo-Yos"? At the communications station, why didn't the other aliens help-out their fellow alien who was fighting the "cyborg" guy? Is it just me or do these aliens all look the same? And do their females have chin "stubble", too? The aliens didn't have life preservers and/or life boats and/or escape pods ...? This movie starts-off with a hefty piece of Chicken Burrito and ends on a Chicken Burrito note--'too much of an "in-and-out" phallic symbolism, if you ask me!  Since they went down that route anyway, they should just have used a Beef Burrito, instead. Ha, ha, ha. ( Q: "Where's the beef?" A: "In Wendy's Buns!" LOL. )

Yummy Chicken Burrito!

"Where's the beef?"

fyi:  The Gliese Star System is 20 Light Years away from our Solar System. And it has a planet about 1.5 times bigger than our own planet in its "Habitable Zone", the planet referred to in this movie as "Planet G". So, of course, there is a good probability that this particular planet is inhabited by an advanced life-form. But ... if we were to broadcast radio wave signals ( which travels at the Speed of Light ) to this planet and its advanced life-forms decided to come to Earth to investigate its source, it would take at least 40 years from the time the signals were sent to the time that the aliens were to arrive here on Earth--if they have a spacecraft that can travel at the Speed of Light! And they were to respond to our signal right away; and if they didn't have to "refuel" along the way. But, of course, the faster a spaceship travels, the harder it is for the ship to dodge interstellar rocks and planetary objects.

SETI ( Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence ) has not yet detected any evidence for Advanced Life-forms out there in the Universe, despite the "Wow!" Signal ( August 15th, 1977 ) anomaly.

Back when we were still living in Oakland, CA, in the Fruitvale District, I bought a bunch of big burritos one day from a nearby Mexican Restaurant for dinner. We had just recently "adopted" a nameless white-and-gray kitten which played with and then followed my orange Manx kitten into the house. As we were having dinner, my second sister accidentally dropped a piece of burrito on the kitchen floor. The nameless kitten pounced on it and ate it right away. So, my sister gave it the name, Burrito. And Burrito grew up looking just like its namesake: A big, fat burrito!

The movie's inspiration.

I never played this board ( bored? ) game because it looked stupid to me!

famous quotes:  "Surrender? I have not yet begun to fight!" John Paul Jones, the very 1st gold medal recipient, American Naval War Hero ( 1747-1792 )

From: Wikipedia

"Had ( John Paul ) Jones lived to this day, France might have had an Admiral." Napoleon Bonaparte ( 1769-1821 )

From: Napoleon Bonaparte--Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia. But shouldn't this bike be white in color, instead?

word of advice:  Let the Sun shine in.

tidbits:  I had planned on taking Hector, his wife and one of his sons to the movies with me. But Hector's wife was sick. And his son, Tito, left to buy some parts for his girlfriend's car. And Hector's other son, Isma, was just a homebody as a homebody could ever get!

As Hector and I were leaving the theatre's parking lot after we watched THE THREE STOOGES movie, a guy in a black truck stopped beside me and asked me if I'd like for him to remove the oxidation on my car's headlight lenses. I told him, No, because I plan on doing a more thorough job of it the next time that I'll get around to doing it, myself. But he was insistent, telling me that lens cleaning kits don't do a good job of it. I told him that I really needed to get on the freeway before the afternoon rush traffic started. But I asked him for his website name, anyway, so that I could look it up later. ( I found out later that the guy gave me the wrong website, a place somewhere in Colorado! )

Maybe, I would be better off just going to the local Hyundai dealership and ordering a new pair of headlight lenses, instead.

A UPS truck was leaving Hector's place when we got back home. Hector said that the UPS truck driver probably dropped-off a package for Isma. Isma had switched from his AT&T ISP to X-Finity and was expecting his Internet cable box today.

When Hector and I stepped inside, Isma was already at work connecting his new Internet cable box to his dad's computer. And I got to be the first one to watch a movie on it. Yes! Woo-Hoo ....

2nd tidbits:  Today, Tuesday, my Hyundai Accent stalled as I exited the freeway on my way to work. And it has Power Brakes, so you know what that means. I parked it against the curb on the downhill grade because the brakes didn't work properly. I turned it off, then I turned it on. It started, then it killed itself, again! I waited for about two minutes before I started it up again. It stayed on and I drove it to work.

I called Dave, the Service Adviser at Wheel Works, and told him that I'll be dropping-off my car tomorrow. And I will need to rent a car again. I can't believe it, two weeks in a row! I never had problems with my Geo Metro. My Metro ran practically trouble-free! Oh, how I miss my Metro.

3rd tidbits:  A couple was in the fourth row who watched the Bonus Scene after the Ending Credits with me.

There was also a female security guard in the auditorium hallway. I told the security guard that the Bonus Scene wasn't shown on the Internet. And I added that the movie is being shown on the internet for almost a month now. She asked me why I came to see it if I already saw it on my computer. I told her that I watched it on my computer just to get a "feel" for it and to take notes on it because I blog about movies. Besides, I just like that Big Screen experience. Especially if I don't have to write notes in the dark and just sit back relaxed as I "popcorn" the movie.

**********************************************

A Rear Admiral and a Petty Officer were in the shower one day. Standing behind the young man, the Rear Admiral intentionally dropped his bar soap in front of the Petty Officer.

"Pick-up my soap!" ordered the Rear Admiral.

"Hell, no, Sir!" said the Petty Officer, knowing the Rear Admiral's sexual preference.

"What, are you being insubordinate?" asked the disbelieving Rear Admiral. " If I don't have your respect, I'm not worthy of my rank. And I shouldn't be allowed to drive a ship!"

"Begging your pardon, Sir, but this is a ship. You navigate it, not drive it, Sir," said the smart-ass Petty Officer.

"Oh, really," answered the Rear Admiral. "So, why does it have wheels, then?"

"It doesn't have wheels, Sir," the Petty Officer said angrily. "It has propellers!"

"Are you really sure about that?" asked the Rear Admiral. "Why don't you go stick your head out through that porthole and see for yourself."

"I don't believe this," grumbled the Petty Officer angrily as he went to the porthole, opened it and stuck his head out. "Hah! I was right: It doesn't have wheeeeeeeeeeeeeels ...."


*

HUNGRY, HUNGRY HIPPOS! R ( 1 hr & 35 min )

Opps! they got the month wrong on this one.

where:  moobee3k.com
when:  Thursday, May 17th, 2012
show:  Around 10:00 p.m.
costs:  Free stream on bufferfree3k
auditorium:  My living room
seat:  My swivel chair


synopsis/overview:  In this promotional tie-in and lead-in to the movie, BATTLESHIP, unknown to the sane and peace-loving World Community, some evil Somali pirate leaders of its "Central Committee" hire the services of a mad Middle Eastern scientist ( Dr. So'dam Insane, PhD ), with the blessings of his country's leaders, Prime Minister Mad-Mood 'Am-anutjob and President Itol'ya Come'inme,  to create a deterrent to UN-backed warships patrolling the Arabian Sea: A bloat of super-gigantic mile-and-a-half-long hippopotami with a voracious appetite! And the world's Armed Forces are powerless against these sea monsters because their super-tough hide is impervious to conventional war weaponry--and because Green Peace Activists hired some self-serving hot-shot International Lawyers to declare the giants as a new, rare and highly endangered species. The world can only watch as the leviathans stand unopposed to do serious damage to the World Economy and to the Marine Ecology. But just as the situation becomes hopeless, help arrives in the most unexpected and unconventional of ways: The US Marines' small army of highly-trained monkeys.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Greedy Chinese, Taiwanese and Korean lobster fleets; 2.) Frustrated Somali lobster divers; 3.) Piracy out of need; 4.) The inspiration for a mad idea; 5.) The mad scientist for the job; 6.) Blue Whale/Hippopotamus gene-splicing and growth hormones; 7.) Accidental radioactive exposure; 8.) "This turned out better than we had hoped"; 9.) "Fifteen very hungry mouths to feed"; 10.) "It's time to release them;" 11.) "What's that stinky smell"; 12.) "That's one big piece of shit"; 13.) The first victim, a Korean lobster fleet; 14.) Unconfirmed reports; 15.) More victims; 16.) "Is that Moby Dick"; 17.) "It sank our battleship"; 18.) "You're gonna need a bigger boat"; 19.) Environmentalists against the use of Thermo-Nuclear Warheads; 20.) Protected Species Law; 21.) Depleted whale, shark and fish numbers; 22.) Penitent pirates; 23.) Secret US Marines' animal behavior research; 24.) The combination weapon: AIDS, Ebola Virus and Necrotizing Fasciitis; 25.) The delivery system: Genetically-Modified Time-Released Microbial Rectal Probe Pellets [ GMTRMRPP ]; 26.) Monkeys in SCUBA gear; 27.) Anal penetration; 28.) "It ain't all a matter of size"; 29.) "Weapons of Ass Destruction"; 30.) Lighted farts; 31.) "That was the Fart heard around the World"; 32.) Victory; 33.) "What the Green Peace Activists don't know won't kill them"; 34.) The mad scientist found hiding in the sewer; 35.) Hippo Poop: The new alternate source of Bio-Fuel; 36.) "Is that safe to eat"; 37.) Chinese "All-You-Can-Eat-Hippo-Meat" Buffets; 38.) Hippo Steaks and Burgers cooked on Hippo Dung Briquettes; 39.) "That's all going to your hips, you know"; 40.) "Hey, honey, take a look!  I've grown a couple of inches ...."; and 41.) "So have I."

favorite scenes:  I liked how the Korean deck hand mistook the big piece of turd for an iceberg in the fog.

I liked how the SCUBA-geared Monkeys slipped into the Giant Hippos' butts undetected without even using some kind of desensitizing lubricant. Ha, ha, ha.

I liked the scene wherein the Monkeys used cigarette lighters to make a quick exit out of the Giant Hippos' butts. Ha, ha, ha, once again.

I liked the "I've Grown A Couple Of Inches" scene.

And I liked the "So Have I" scene. LOL!

audience reaction:  N/A. I was by my lonesome self.

recommendation:  I liked it a lot! It's a laugh-out loud, ridiculously funny Sci-Fi/Action/Comedy movie. Go see it if you can find it on-line.

spoiler alert!  It's impossible to grow a hippopotamus to such a ridiculously gigantic proportion and at such a rapid rate of growth! Shouldn't those monkeys have been burned to death?

fyi:  These two childrens' games served as inspiration for this movie:

I wonder if these are now collector's items. I should have bought them back when I had the chance.

What will Hollywood come-up with next ...?

word of advice:  Don't start something that you can't finish.

An unconventional war calls for the use of unconventional weapons.

Take good care of your games and toys. Otherwise, they just might get even with you--and the rest of us--in a Big Way!

tidbits:  I don't know why, but this movie gave me a craving for ...

A Banana Split

and ...

A Banana Milkshake

and ...

A couple of bananas

But I usually wait until a banana is at stage 7 of its ripening process before I eat it because that is when a banana is at its most nutritious and delicious stage.

In this "police line-up", number 7 is the one guilty of being nutritious and delicious.

P.S. Don't even think about wrapping your hand around my banana or I'm gonna report you to the Banana Police! Ha,ha, ha--snort!

*

THE DICTATOR, R ( 1 hr & 23 min )

where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Wednesday, May 16th, 2012
show:  9:45 p.m.
costs:  $11.00 Ticket + $5.75 Zap Pack w/ Diet Coke = $16.75
auditorium:  6
seat:  4th row, 4th seat


synopsis/overview:  A sexist/racist oppressive dictator, Admiral General Aladeen ( Sacha Baron Cohen ), will do anything to keep democracy away from his country.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Kim Jong Il; 2.) Childbirth; 3.) Race; 4.) "Aladeen"; 5.) "Two months away from enriching Uranium ..."; 6.) Kissing the armpits; 7.) "Huge robot dildo"; 8.) Cartoons; 9.) Death-bed promise; 10.) Body double; 11.) Wall of Polaroid photos; 12.) Video games; 13.) "Built by Blacks and owned by Chinese"; 14.) "I hate Arabs"; 15.) Renovated penthouse suite; 16.) Torture devices; 17.) Escape; 18.) "Average American shopper"; 19.) "It was you, you snake"; 20.) News commentators; 21.) Urine; 22.) "China is a democracy, too"; 23.) "Thirty percent finder's fee"; 24.) "These are breasts? I thought you were a boy"; 25.) "The dark races are less choosy"; 26.) "Monkeys on roller skates"; 27.) Political refugees; 28.) "Hairy Potter"; 29.) "Being Aladeen has its perks"; 30.) Kiss; 31.) Milk; 32.) "How much do you charge for assassinations"; 33.) Old, familiar faces; 34.) "Made-up name"; 35.) "Zero people"; 36.) "Lesbian Hobbit"; 37.) Security pass; 38.) Job duties; 39.) Osama Bin Laden; 40.) "Your Filipino is the same as your Chinese"; 41.) Helicopter tour; 42.) Falling in love; 43.) Rape center; 44.) News; 45.) "Gift"; 46.) "Wait. What sorcery is this"; 47.) Fired; 48.) Work changes; 49.) "It's not amazing, it's just a little less shit"; 50.) Funeral home; 51.) "Menudo incident"; 52.) Plan B; 53.) "Ebony/Ivory"; 54.) "Splish/splash"; 55.) "What the f-ck did you call me"; 56.) Rival grocer's shut-down; 57.) Pregnant woman in labor; 58.) "Where's the trash can"; 59.) "Look! it's me"; 60.) The bridge; 61.) Edward Norton; 62.) "She doesn't speak English"; 63.) "I built it"; 64.) Vita Coco Water; 65.) Goat; 66.) "I thought his name was Dennis"; 67.) Harvey Keitel; 68.) "Amazing turn of events"; 69.) The One Percent; 70.) Assassination attempt; 71.) Wedding; and 72.) Outtakes during the Ending Credits.

favorite scenes:  I liked the Helicopter scene.

I liked the Pregnant Woman In Labor scene.

I liked the She Doesn't Speak English scene.

And I liked the Outtake scenes during the Ending Credits.

who:  Garry Shandling is in the uncredited role of the Health Inspector.

audience reaction:  The audience liked this. But it didn't get a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation:  I liked the movie, too. Go see it if you like funny movies and if you're a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen.

spoiler alert!  If his beard was removed in such a way, it would imply that his facial skin was peeled-off, too. Why didn't he just start growing back his beard ( instead of , obviously, shaving his face everyday )? Why was he allowed to smoke at work? Why didn't the taxi driver do something about it? Why wasn't he fired? The Aladeen statue didn't have rebars in it to secure it to its base. Being that he was a sexist prick and had the libido of a horny goat, why were his Virgin Guards still virgins after all that time?

fyi:  Funny as it sounds, looks and feels--and smells--the armpits are actually part of the human body's Erogenous Zones.

Did you notice what happened when Aladeen hit the hotel's window glass with his body? Yes, it didn't break because, as I've said at least twice before, window glass used on tall buildings are of a different and stronger grade than the kind of window glass used on houses.

As much as I like Anna Faris as a comedy actress, I would have loved to have seen Isla Fisher ( Sacha's wife ) play the role of Zoey, instead.

word of advice:  Don't be a hypocrite.

tidbits:  In a repeat of last week, I had to drop-off my car at Wheel Works again. And I had to rent a car, again. But I rented a car from Hertz, this time around. The car I got for my work commute was a Toyota Yaris.

During my lunch break, I got a message from Dave, the service adviser at Wheel Works. He said that my car died-out on me upon exiting the freeway because of the faulty Master Air Flow Sensor reading. The car's computer's CPU over-compensated for the Fuel/Air mixture, as a result. That was why it shut down the engine.

But why would an idiotic Automotive Engineer program a car's computer to shut-down its engine while the car is still travelling at high speed, I don't know. Oh, wait! I just answered my question: Automotive Engineers can be irresponsibly idiotic, too.

I could have had an accident, especially with the Power Steering and the Power Brakes not working properly because of the engine shut-down! Wait ... did I just say that right? I could have gotten into an accident, sued Hyundai, and become financially well-off for the rest of my life! Damn!!!

Anyway, if any of you guys out there drives a Hyundai and the engine shuts-down on you while you're driving at freeway speeds and you get into an accident as a direct result, let me know. Maybe we can start a Class Action Lawsuit against Hyundai for programming their cars' engines in an unsafe manner.

An SUV parked next to my rental car as I did my Zhunti Mantra while I waited for my lunch period to end. The driver was an Italian Men's Suits salesman who had five jackets left and was trying to unload them so that he won't have to pay taxes on them on his flight back to Italy. He wanted to sell me all five jackets for the price of one. I politely declined. How would he know what my size is, after all? Which, by the way, is 42-S.

And what the heck was he doing in Benicia, CA, when he was selling suits and jackets at the Cow Palace in San Francisco, CA, the night before? There are other towns and cities that he could have been in within a 50 to 60 mile radius of the Cow Palace. But, he chose Benicia, instead! Where's the logic in that?

Besides, I've got lots of jackets. In fact, at one time, I had 32 different jackets. I got rid of about a dozen of them already. So, I still have plenty on-hand and don't want any more jackets.

The following day, Thursday, May 17th, I started my day off early because I wanted to do some things before I had to return the rental car, just to get my money's worth on it.

I gassed-up at this Texaco Gas Station just off of Lake Herman Road in Benicia, CA, after I swung by StarSports.

On my way to picking-up my paycheck and right after gassing-up at Texaco, I decided to add $3.00 worth of gas to the $12.00 worth of gas that I just put in the tank a few minutes before. But the Valero Gas Station on 2nd Street in Benicia, CA, had all its pumps taken. I just went and picked-up my paycheck.

Then, I went to the Benicia branch of Chase Bank to deposit some money into my checking account. But I forgot to bring my driver's license ID card with me. They weren't gonna do just a partial deposit on my paycheck because I didn't have a current ID with me. I showed them my expired ID, but they wouldn't take it. ( Because I hadn't expired, yet? ) My Chase credit card wouldn't do because they only accept a Chase debit card! Luckily for me, though, the teller who usually does my transactions, Bruce, was there. He vouched for me.

This is my rental car, a Toyota Yaris, parked outside of the StarSports shop.

I went back to StarSports because they were still closed when I went there about an hour earlier. They open at 10:00 a.m. on weekdays, according to their door sign.

I wanted StarSports to custom-embroider my two Border Patrol caps. But they couldn't do want I needed done. I'll just try another place. Or, maybe, I won't--I'll save on time, money and gas that way.

I returned the Yaris after I put in $3.00 more of gas in the tank at the Valero Gas Station on Fairgrounds Drive and another $3.00, for good measure, at the J & R Market across the street from Kaiser Permanente Hospital on Sereno Drive here in Vallejo, CA.  And after I swung by my condo to get my driver's license ID card. All in all, I put in $18.00 worth of gas, just a-little-over-enough to get the fuel gauge back to where it was before I drove the car for the first time yesterday.

I drove the rental car for approximately 85 miles. And I paid $47.49, in cash, for the rental, itself.

Then, I was dropped-off at Wheel Works on Sonoma  Boulevard here in Vallejo, CA, to pick-up my car.

I took this picture from the driver's side seat before I drove off.

I only paid for the replacement OEM part, not for the installation nor for the computer diagnostics. The OEM Master Air Flow Sensor costed me $266.98. I paid for it in cash, too.

Then, I drove my Hyundai Accent to the Chevron Gas Station on Fairgrounds Drive here in Vallejo, CA. I put in $10.00 worth of gas. And I put it through the gas station's car wash for $4.00.

I took this picture as I was pumping gas at pump # 9, I think. In the background is the Medusa, a roller-coaster ride at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom/Marine World here in Vallejo, CA. The first and last time that I was on this ride was in June of 2001. I wanted to court this Brazilian girl, Patricia A., back then. And I took her and her friend, Renata ( also a Brazilian ), to this amusement park. Nothing happened of it. They both went back to Brazil--I guess because I wasn't an American citizen yet. Ha, ha, ha.

-

I took this picture after my Hyundai Accent, in the foreground, exited the car wash.  You can  still see the amusement park in the background.

Then, I went to Selecta Pilipino Buffet on Springs Road, here in Vallejo, CA, to have a light lunch. And to play the lottery. I won $3.00 on a previous play, which I used to pay for part of my lunch and for the lottery tickets. I paid $16.74 - $3.00 = $13.74.

After having my lunch, I walked next door to the 99 Cent Only Store to buy three XXX-Large Tee Shirts for Hector's son, Isma, the "Baby Huey". And I also bought a 16.9 oz Aaron Brands Apple-flavored Pediatric Electrolyte Solution ( for my electrolyte replacement needs ), an 11.0 oz Flavor Charm Coffee Creamer, and a 32.0 oz Orange-flavored Powerade ( also, for my electrolyte replacement needs ). The total came up to $6.15.

*******************************************

A man out looking to have sex with a prostitute one night was approached by an older street hooker in a seedy part of town.

"I don't want you since you have a loose vagina," said the man.

"What makes you think my pussy is loose?" asked the hooker.

"'Cause you're old!"

"Why don't you stick your hand in my pussy and find out for yourself!" dared the hooker.

The man stuck his hand in the prostitute's vagina. It went in easily all the way past his wrist. "Ha! I was right," said the man.

"Now stick your other hand in there!" ordered the hooker.

The man did as he was told. His other hand went in easily, too, all the way past his other wrist.

"Now, clap your hands if you can!" said the hooker.

"I can't--it's too tight!" the man exclaimed.

"And you dared say that I have a loose pussy!"  ;-)


*

GIRL IN PROGRESS, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 30 min )

Quickie Review:  A Rebel With A Pause


While neglectful single-mom Grace ( Eva Mendes ) is busy juggling work, bills and adulterous affairs, her precocious daughter, Ansiedad ( Cierra Ramirez ), devices a step-by-step plan to short-cut her way into adulthood.


This movie elicited a few laughs from the audience.


I didn't like this movie at all. I wanted to walk out of the auditorium. The only other time that I felt this way about a movie was when I forced myself to watch JACKASS NUMBER TWO ( 2006 )! Taste-wise, both movies are about the same in my book.


If you must see this movie with your mom or the mother of your child/children, don't do so on Mother's Day. It would be in poor taste to do so.


Being mean doesn't make you look cool at all!


Here are the things that I found wrong in this movie:  Show-and-Tell in 3-D? Where'd she get the money for it? The daughter's friend, Tavita ( Raini Rodriguez ), hitches rides even though her parents are very rich. She went to a hamburger restaurant's drive-through only to have her order bagged in a plain brown bag! Hamburger restaurants with drive-throughs have their own custom-printed paper and plastic bags. Did she just take-up Chess on a whim and become very good at it in an instant? How did the burglar forced open a steel safe? Why did she have to describe her daughter to the police when I'm sure that she had pictures of her daughter handy? How could a doctor not notice that his own son needed glasses? And don't they still do Hearing and Vision Tests in grade school? Why didn't the security guard at the bus terminal investigate the argument between the mother and the daughter? When the mother chased after her daughter, it went from daytime to nighttime--we're talking about a marathon chase in high heels, folks!

*****************************************

I've an idea: I know of someone who runs marathons, I'll try and talk him into wearing high heels on his next run. Wearing high heels might not make him win the race but, at least, he'll look very sexy while trying his best to do so! And the high heels will just accentuate the sexy tattoo on his calf--don't ask. So, I'd better try and talk him into shaving his legs, also, for "aerodynamic" reasons. And let's not forget the "Daisy Dukes" shorts. And he'll be needing a jockstrap to go with his "Daisy Dukes", too, or else ...! LOL.

*

DARK SHADOWS, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 52 min )

This photo was taken in the theatre lobby. I'm seated in the chair but you cannot see me since I was in my "vampire mode".

where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Friday, May 11th, 2012
show:  11:00 a.m. ( Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee )
costs:  $6.50 Ticket + $4.75 Pretzel Bites + $4.50 20.0 oz VitaminWater Rise ( Rise--how appropriate, considering what the movie is about ) + $8.73 lunch @ Golden City Buffet after the movie ( + $1.27 Tip )  = $25.75
auditorium:  13
seat:  6th row, 3rd seat


synopsis/overview:  A rich young man, Barnabas Collins ( Johnny Depp ), breaks the heart of  the witch, Angelique ( Eva Green ), and gets turned into a vampire. Not wanting to live as such, he has himself buried. About two hundred years later, he is unwittingly released into the world once more. He soon finds that his old home, the Collinwood, is no longer the grand estate that it once was. And his accursed descendants are also not fairing well in life. But Barnabas is determined to restore Collinwood to its former glory and to rejuvenate the family business. There is only one problem, though: The witch is alive and well.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) "I'm so cursed"; 2.) One true love; 3.) Lovers' leap; 4.) Buried; 5.) Victoria Winters ( Bella Heathcote ); 6.) "Congratulations"; 7.) "Carolyn ( Chloe Grace Moretz ) touches herself"; 8.) Ghost; 9.) Construction site; 10.) Road; 11.) The spell-bound servant, Willie ( Jackie Earl Haley ); 12.) "Are you stoned or something"; 13.) "And I'm pretty sure he called me a hooker"; 14.) "Our curse"; 15.) "That's where I keep my macrame"; 16.) "We've been sitting on a fortune"; 17.) "Terrible metal allergy"; 18.) "We have a Chevy"; 19.) "Some maniac ripped their throats out"; 20.) "I heard you the first 20 times"; 21.) Drawing room; 22.) "A curse takes devotion"; 23.) Renovation; 24.) "What sorcery is this"; 25.) The Blue Whale Tavern; 26.) Lava lamp; 27.) Hypnotic therapy; 28.) "Then, be fascinated, Julia ( Helena Bonham Carter )"; 29.) "Fifteen and no husband"; 30.) The campfire; 31.) "If a man can become a monster, then a monster can become a man"; 32.) "Patient/doctor confidentiality"; 33.) Board meeting; 34.) "We're both monsters"; 35.) "That was a regrettable turn of events"; 36.) "This is a very silly play"; 37.) Traumatic childhood; 38.) "Help me"; 39.) "This family could use some balls"; 40.) Alice Cooper; 41.) "It's like we know you forever"; 42.) Story; 43.) The kiss; 44.) "You're using my blood"; 45.) A choice; 46.) "You're on fire"; 47.) "Compelled by your witchcraft, by your curse"; 48.) Metal coffin; 49.) "Burn, baby, burn"; 50.) Red panties; 51.) "It's been 20 minutes"; 52.) The tape recording; 53.) The fight; 54.) "Get out of my room"; 55.) Blood; 56.) Werewolf; 57.) "Not me ... my mom"; 58.) "You cannot love, Angelique. That is your curse"; 59.) At the Lovers' Leap once again; and 60.) The broken curse.

favorite scenes:  I liked Christopher Lee's cameo scene at the tavern.

I liked the Lava Lamp scene.

I liked the Red Panties scene.

audience reaction:  The audience kind of liked it.

recommendation:  Ditto for me. Its premise was interesting enough but, to my dismay, it didn't quite meet with my expectations of it. This movie is best-reserved for Tim Burton fans.

spoiler alert!  I don't know why Barnabas didn't choose to have the best of both worlds: A wife and a mistress. Since, back then, rich and powerful men kept mistresses--and some still do, to this day! Why didn't Barnabas speak with a British accent, considering that he lived in Maine, which was once a part of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, one of the Original Thirteen Colonies? I am under the impression that the original Collins family were loyal British subjects. In which case, during the American Revolution, their family business would have suffered great financial losses since the British would have requisitioned/commandeered their fishing fleet and would have confiscated their catches to feed the soldiers; or ... after the war, the Americans would have considered them traitors and would have ran them out of business. There was no blood when Josette DuPres ( Bella Heathcote ) hit the back of her head on a rock at the bottom of the cliff. Why were Barnabas' teeth shown in the mirror briefly? "... ( R ) ipped their throats out"? Hello ... those throats had bite marks on them! Their dilapidated cannery should have been built from the ground up because its wood frame probably suffered extensively from insect infestation, from microbial growth, and from fungal decay. Why didn't Barnabas catch on fire when he was outside in the daytime? When the telephone fell to the floor, its "off-the-hook" tone shouldn't have come on right away. That metal coffin didn't exert that much weight when it was put inside the van. At the estate, why did the whole crowd disperse when it was just getting interesting. Being that Barnabas could move swiftly, why didn't he get to Victoria right away? Victoria's face should have been smashed-in when it hit the rock at the bottom of the cliff.

fyi:  My parents had a collection of colored vinyl records, too, in almost mint condition, from the late '50s and/or the early '60s. I wished I brought them here to the States with me 'cause they would fetch quite a handsome price on E-Bay today!

Christopher Lee is arguably the best one for the vampire role, in my opinion.

word of advice:  Hell hath no fury than a scorned witch.

True Love is Forever.

tidbits:  Before leaving my condo, I called Wheel Works to see if they had already ordered the Master Air Flow Sensor replacement. They hadn't yet. I told the service adviser to order it because I wanted the work done today.

I went to my Periodontist today, at 10:00 a.m., for a bite adjustment ( how appropriate, considering what movie I was about to go see ). I got a message from Wheel Works on my voice-mail while I was checking-in at the receptionist's desk. My hygienist was there waiting for me as I put a payment on my periodontal work ( I only paid $100.00 of the $115.00 charge since the receptionist didn't have a change for a $20.00 ). She commented that I have too many wallets. I told her that I carry three wallets because of all the damn cards that I have to have with me--and the banks still want to issue me more debit/credit cards even though I keep telling them that I'm still paying-off my current cards. She said that women are better off since they put everything inside a purse. I told her that I should get myself a "Man Purse"--I think it's now called, Murse.

I listened to the voice-mail as I sat in the dental chair while I waited for the doctor. The hygienist told me that I had to turn-off my cell-phone as soon as I was done listening to the message.

The doctor wants to put an implant in my upper jaw to relieve the pressure on the bridge on the left side of my lower jaw. If only I could grow back my missing teeth so that I won't have to deal with dental expenses anymore! That would be super nice ....

Before I left, the doctor told me that I should rinse-off my bite guard before I use it tonight because he coated it with a solution. I told him, I'll do it here now before I forget. He and the hygienist laughed. So, I washed it in the sink before I left.

When I stepped out of the periodontist's clinic, I called the service adviser at Wheel Works. The service adviser, Dave, told me that I cannot get a free replacement since it was past its 12-month warranty period ( how convenient ). And he said that the mechanic--the idiot who loosened the clamp on the Master Air Flow Sensor when he worked on my car's Timing Belt and Water Pump three weeks ago--told him that the problem with the Master Air Flow Sensor was internal, that the loosened clamp had nothing to do with it going bad. Dave said that he'd have a replacement part installed for free but that I would have to pay for the part, itself. I told him to order the replacement.

Then, I went to the Postal Annex in the Plaza Drive Shopping Center to check on my mail and to drop-off a mail. That package that I ordered sometime ago finally got there. I showed Mike, the proprietor, what I had been impatiently waiting to get in the mail: A couple of tan Baseball Caps embroidered with U.S. BORDER PATROL. These will come in handy someday, I am sure of it. Ha, ha, ha.

After the movie, I called Wheel Works again because I got a message from Dave, the service adviser, before the movie had started ( I turned my cell-phone off as I watched this movie ). He told me that they got the replacement part. I asked him if it was an OEM ( Original Equipment Manufacturer ) part or if it was an Aftermarket part. He said that they only order Aftermarket parts unless the customer asks specifically for an OEM part. I asked him where Aftermarket parts come from. He said that they come from China since that's where Aftermarket parts are being made--now, there's the f-cking problem: Inferior quality made piece-of-crap! I told Dave to order me an OEM part, instead. He said that he'll call me back in the middle of next week when he gets the part.

I decided to have lunch at the Golden City Buffet on the corner of Mini Drive and Sonoma Boulevard here in Vallejo, CA, before going home.

I took this picture through the windshield of my Hyundai Accent as I waited for the light to turn green so I could make a left turn at the intersection.

I took this picture before I exited my car.

After I had my lunch, I went to the Chevron Gas Station across from the Six Flags Discovery Kingdom/Marine World on Fairgrounds Drive. I bought $5.00 worth of gas and a 32.0 oz bottle of Powerade Sour Melon because I needed some electrolytes.

I'm weaning myself away from carbonated sodas because I think they have a diuretic effect and were just draining my body of its electrolyte reserves.



*********************************

"Happy Mother's Day!" this Sunday ....

I also found this cute baby picture on the Internet of another future brat.

*

THE FIVE-YEAR ENGAGEMENT, R ( 2 hr & 4 min )

where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Wednesday, May 9th, 2012
show:  10:15 p.m.
costs:  $10.00 Ticket + $5.00 Nachos ( I opened the bag of Nachos to smell it and make sure that it wasn't stale, like the last one that I bought, before paying for it )  + $4.50 20.0 oz VitaminWater Power-C = $19.50
auditorium:  4
seat:  3rd row, 8ht column


synopsis/overview:  Four Funerals And A Wedding


A man and a woman meet, fall in love, get engaged, break-up, go their separate ways, meet again, fall in love again, get engaged again, and--finally--get married!


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Receipts; 2.) One year ago; 3.) BLOOD DIAMOND; 4.) "Live long and prosper"; 5.)  Breakfast; 6.) Engagement party; 7.) Day after; 8.) "Telepathic wiener missiles"; 9.) Finger cut; 10.) "Carrot wiener"; 11.) "Grandparents do have a tendency to die"; 12.) "Jewish drawer"; 13.) September 11; 14.) "You only get a few of these"; 15.) Pregnant; 16.) Wedding; 17.) "Our wedding's gonna be way better"; 18.) Job offer; 19.) First funeral; 20.) Two-week notice; 21.) Social Psychology Class; 22.) Job hunting; 23.) Marshmallows; 24.) Male faculty spouse; 25.) RATATOUILLE; 26.) Fire hydrant; 27.) Deer hunting; 28.) New baby; 29.) Lego Land; 30.) "I play the odds"; 31.) Cake tasting; 32.) Sweater tux; 33.) The five nerds; 34.) Peonies; 35.) "How come nobody ever asks me"; 36.) Extension; 37.) Bedroom argument; 38.) Venison dinner; 39.) Pocahontas; 40.) "I don't like this new Lamb-chop Tom ( Jason Segel )"; 41.) Second funeral; 42.) "Bunny day"; 43.) Toast; 44.) Kiss; 45.) "Super-sanitary"; 46.) "I don't read Korean"; 47.) Orgasm; 48.) Rehearsal; 49.) Chase; 50.) Kitchen; 51.) Frostbite; 52.) Break-up; 53.) Third funeral; 54.) "I'm bored"; 55.) "I love you"; 56.) "Blood, feathers, gun"; 57.) "You ate an old doughnut"; 58.) "It's so hot in here. It's why people are always fighting in the Middle East"; 59.) Fired; 60.) Taco truck; 61.) Promotion; 62.) "There'll be new students next year"; 63.) "I think I understand why I'm having communication issues"; 64.) Fourth funeral; 65.) WHAM; 66.) "Maybe, there's no right choices. Just pick one and take a bite"; 67.) Wedding at the park; and 68.) A duet singing the song, Cu Cu Ru Cu Cu Paloma.

audience reaction: There was a couple in the back of the auditorium with me. And the couple seemed to like this movie. At least, the couple liked it more than I did.  ( Psst .... It's a Chick Flick/Date Movie! )

recommendation:  I didn't like it that much. See this movie only to pass the time away. Or wait for it to come out as a rental.

spoiler alert!  That was too much blood for a finger cut. In FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL ( 2008 ) Jason Segel's character was shown completely butt-naked with his Kosher meat on display--but, this time around, his butt is the only naked part in this movie ( not that I care about it, mind you ). That mound of snow covering the fire hydrant was fake and the whole scene it was shown in was not in snow season even though the rest of the snow scenes were. Why didn't they film it in the snow season instead of using obviously-fake snow? Why did the sign say: "Tom and Voolet ( for Violet )"? I think that this movie is too long for its subject matter. I usually don't mind it if a movie is too long since I'll be getting my money's worth on it, but only if it keeps me too preoccupied to be aware of the slow passing of time. Unfortunately, this movie--to me--just d-r-a-g-g-e-d on ....

fyi:  I don't have a "Jewish drawer" with a Yarmulke in it. But I have a "Jewish shelf" with a Dreidel and a Menorah on it. And, No, I still don't have a Mezuzah box on my door because I don't want Muslim extremists to know where I live!

I don't know if people got the inside joke, but Violet ( Emily Blunt ) was shown sitting at the dining table with a bottle of Bombay Gin next to her. Bombay Gin has a picture of Queen Victoria on it--yes, the same evil queen in the movie, THE PIRATES! BAND OF MISFITS. Seriously, though, Emily Blunt played the role of the queen in, THE YOUNG VICTORIA ( 2009 ).

That SHALIMAR: CUISINE OF INDIA is actually a real restaurant in Ann Arbor, Michigan, I guess.

I know of this guy ( whose name shall remain a secret ) who wondered what it would be like to masturbate while driving. So, while driving home one night, curiosity got the better "hold" ( ahem! ) on him and he intentionally missed his house. He had to circle around the neighborhood just to get home!

I guess if one were to choose between "arriving at one's destination" or "'cumming' home", the second one does provide for a more pleasurable driving experience--guaranteed.  Ha, ha, ha--snort!

word of advice:  Marriage ain't all "a walk in the park"; and it ain't certainly "a piece of cake".

tidbits: I dropped-off my Hyundai Accent at Wheel Works today, Wednesday, first thing in the morning before going to work. It has been acting-up ever since they worked on it three weeks ago. I'd hear a tapping noise under the hood at idle and just as I'd go from 1st gear to 2nd gear. And on Monday, on my way to work, the "Check Engine Light" came on.

They set me up with a customer-discounted 24-hour rental car from the Enterprise Rent-a-Car on Marine World Parkway. It costed me $48.48 for the rental, insurance and tax.

I took this photo outside of my place of employment in Benicia, CA, thirty minutes before I had to return this car. I had to pick-up my paycheck.

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I took this photo just outside of the Enterprise Rent-a-Car office and just a minute before I got a ride back to Wheel Works to pick-up my car. The problem with my car was that some idiot loosened the Master Air Flow Sensor while replacing my car's timing belt and water pump three weeks ago. Now, the Master Air Flow Sensor is defective and I have to take my car back to them tomorrow, Friday, so they can replace it. It's still under warranty, I hope, since they replaced the original 12 1/2 months ago. Besides, their mechanic f-cked-up the work!

Today, Wednesday, at work, at a little after 2:00 p.m., the Second Assistant told me, "Come with me to the back. I need to talk to you." ( Oh, boy. You know what that means .... )

So, I walked with him back into the warehouse. Then, he turned to me and, as he pulled-up on his pants,  said, "When I tell you to do something, I have some expectations---"

The Manager, who was there, cut him off and said,"That can wait. It's already taken care of."

I guess the Manager didn't like seeing his Second Assistant pull-up on his pants. Only the Manager has the exclusive right to do so--and if you've seen my Manager, you'll understand why.

But, what I don't understand is this: Why do they have to pull-up on their pants for? Is it part of their Management Training? I can just see it now ...

MANAGEMENT TRAINING COURSE 101: How To Pull-Up Your Pants Correctly And Instinctively To Show Your Superiority And Assert Your Authority While Talking To A Subordinate In A Condescending Manner ( illustrated with a step-by-step guide showing pictures and diagrams for quick and easy reference ).

WHY DON'T THEY JUST WEAR SUSPENDERS AND BE DONE WITH IT ALREADY?!?!?!

Lederhosen suspenders would look nice on them---Not!

A beautiful lederhosen suspender that I found on the Internet.

After the movie, just to get my money's worth on the rental car, I went to the Super Wal-Mart in  American Canyon to buy a 12 Double Roll pack of Charmin Toilet Tissues and a 1.75 quart of Blue Bunny Carrot Cake Ice Cream, all for $10.31. I was gonna buy a bunch of bananas, too, but the Banana Police monitors my blogsite!

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"Happy Mother's Day!" to all of the moms out there.

I found this cute picture of a future brat on the Internet.

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