DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: RODRICK RULES, PG ( 1 hr & 36 min )

where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Saturday, March 26th, 2011
show:  2:15 p.m.
costs:  $9.75 Ticket + $8.54 lunch @ Wendy's Restaurant ( the # 3 meal, up-sized ) = $18.29
auditorium:  13
seat:  5th row, 5th column
   

synopsis/overview:  Greg Heffley ( Zachary Gordon ) just survived 6th Grade and thinks that he has been through the worst of it.  But he's in 7th Grade now; and it's an altogether different kind of  "ball game"  for the hapless kid and his clueless sidekick, Rowley ( Robert Capron ).

noteworthy scenes:  1.)  Swimming pool outcast; 2.) "Perfectly good food just laying around"; 3.) Dancing mom; 4.) Dad to the rescue; 5.) Mom bucks; 6.) "I've got an eye on you"; 7.) Talent show; 8.) Fantasy; 9.) The ride home; 10.) Home video; 11.) "My mom's not in the house"; 12.) At the church; 13.) "Whatever you thought, I already thinked  it"; 14.) Three-way call; 15.) Life of the party; 16.) "See  you  in an hour"; 17.) The door knob; 18.) General Grant; 19.) Deny, deny, deny; 20.) "Sounds to me like lie, lie, lie"; 21.) "Does he know about the d, o, r, e"; 22.) Dinner talk; 23.) The Foot; 24.) "You may be not half as lame as I thought you were"; 25.) Rodrick's ( Devon Bostick ) Rules; 26.) The "Invisible" game; 27.) 100 Years Ago report; 28.) Note; 29.) Loserville; 30.) Art Room; 31.) Fake vomit; 32.) "That's not me"; 33.) "You're my brother but you'll never be my friend"; 34.) Grounded; 35.) This is real life; 36.) Games room; 37.) Shared similarities; 38.) Diary; 39.) Ladies' room; 40.) At the talent show; and 41.) Bonus Scene during the Ending Credits.

audience reaction:  The audience really liked this, even the adults.

recommendation:  I liked this movie, too.  It's a good family movie.

spoiler alert!  Is their mom so absent-minded that she cannot recall how many "mom bucks" she handed out and how many she had to begin with?  I think that I would notice sitting on something like that.  The parents could have asked their neighbors to check-up on their kids while they were gone; or they could  ask  their neighbors if anything happened while they were away. 

fyi:  When I was a Grade One pupil at Notre Dame Elementary School, Boys Department, in Kidapawan, Cotabato, Mindanao, Philippines, everybody picked on me because I was the runt in the class--everyone was two years older than I was because my parents, in their "infinite wisdom", decided to put me in that class without sending me to Nursery School or Kindergarten first.  Our school uniform was a white T-shirt and Khaki shorts with a green stripe on either side.

One day, I, and another pupil, asked to be excused to use the toilet.  Mind you, back then we used crumpled-up newspaper as toilet paper substitute.  As I squatted down  in my stall, the other kid ( who ran out of paper ) reached under the partition and grabbed my shorts then proceeded to wipe his butt with it.  Then, he ran back to the classroom and lied to  the teacher saying that I wiped my butt using my shorts and that I licked my poop  off  of  it!  My teacher,  Mrs. Togon, was so angry that when I  got  back into the classroom, amidst my fellow classmates' boisterous laughter, she ordered  me to go home right away.

I hung my head in shame as I walked out of there.  But I was very angry deep inside of me because the teacher chose to believe in a lie.  No wonder I didn't do well in school.

I will never forget that day.  And if I can remember who that son-of-a-bitch bastard is who pulled that prank on me, I will hunt him down and beat him so bad that he'll end-up crapping in his pants--then, I'll make him lick it!

word of advice:  Don't wear Khaki pants.

The first sign of  guilt is Denial.

tidbits:  I was sent home early from work today--No, not for the same reason as mentioned above.  In all the years that I've worked for the company, this is the first time that I've ever been sent home early.  Maybe I did something bad or the economy is still bad, or both.  Whatever ....  So, I decided to see this movie on my way home just to unwind a bit.
 

SUCKER PUNCH, PG-13 ( 2 hr & 0 min )

where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Friday, March 25th, 2011
show:  12:01 a.m.
costs:  $17.50 Ticket + $6.00 small Popcorn + $0.00 small Zero Sprite ( Free on movie watcher rewards card ) = $23.50
auditorium:  12, with the I-Max screen
seat:  Last row, Second from right seat

synopsis/overview:    Committed to an institution, Baby Doll ( Emily Browning ), convinces four other patients to try and escape with her.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) "Everyone has an angel"; 2.) Last Will & Testament; 3.) Rape; 4.) Mental institution; 5.) Lobotomized "vegetables"; 6.) A front; 7.) "Let her go, pig"; 8.) "No purpose"; 9.) "Journey to freedom"; 10.) Three evil samurais; 11.) "Send me a postcard from paradise"; 12.) Map, fire, knife and key; 13.) "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything"; 14.) "The girls and you are mine"; 15.) "Kiss the neck"; 16.) Dragon; 17.) "We're all finishing this"; 18.) "You're gonna want to see this"; 19.) The train; 20.) "It's too late to play the good guy"; 21.) "One thing more"; 22.) "It's not my story, it's yours"; 23.) "Did you see how she looked at me"; 24.) "I need her in that chair"; 25.) Fort Wayne-bound bus; and 26.) Bonus scene during the Ending Credits.

audience reaction:  Surprisingly, even though the auditorium was packed, the audience was relatively quiet throughout the movie.

recommendation:  This stupid movie has got to be the worst movie that I've ever seen since I started blogging about movies!  I understand the fantasy parts, but this movie has more gaps in Logic than a slice of  Swiss Cheese has holes!  You could say that I got "sucker-punched" into seeing this in I-Max!  Wait for this to come out as a rental, or get high on Marijuana--or some other thing--first before seeing this movie on the big screen to fully appreciate the absurdity of it all.  If you do decide to see this on the big screen, don't pay the exorbitant I-Max price for it.

spoiler alert!  This movie is all about visuals and not much else, no logical substance at all.  This movie is somehow/somewhat a not-worthy-of-Oscar-awards re-imagined remake of  ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST.  That Last Will &  Testament is a copy; and the lawyer for the estate would have a copy of the document on file, too, so that it cannot be altered in any way.  In a crime, the scene is investigated, evidence is collected, and the victim, witness and/or  suspect are interrogated.  The crime was clearly about rape and murder;  therefore,  saliva, skin tissue, blood, hair, fiber  and/or  semen specimens would be evident.  The suspect, in this case, would have had to have a psychiatric evaluation done first to see if said suspect was mentally fit to stand trial.  And what would the incriminating evidence be since they never bothered to take her in for questioning?  But  the cops acted biased  and with extreme prejudice as they went ahead and sedated her ( Are they even allowed to administer injections? ).  In other words, she was committed to an institution without  Due Process of Law!  That's a mental institution?  It's more like a boarding house for rebellious yet seriously hot babes who put on make-up and parade around in tight/skimpy outfits each and everyday--it there's such a place as that, I'd try and get a job there as a medical  orderly even for minimum wage.  Ha, ha, ha.  You would think that such important legal/medical documents would be kept safe under lock and key, accessible only to certain personnel.  In order for a lobotomy to be performed--"Icepick" Lobotomy, in this case--a psychiatrist, a counselor, a next-of-kin and a judge would have to all meet with approval ( This was not done ).  The surgeon would have to double-check with the counselor and go over the patient's records, first  ( This was not done ).  The operating room and instruments would have to be prepped and sanitized ( This was not done ).  The patient would have to be dressed in a surgical gown ( This was not done ).  The patient would have to be laid in a surgical bed ( This was not done ).  The doctor and nurses should have prepped  for the surgery and should have been  required to wear surgical garb, masks and gloves ( This was not done ).  The patient should be given General Anesthesia ( This was not done since she was just sedated ).  There's a big difference between General Anesthesia and sedation, especially since we're dealing with brain surgery here!  Surgical dressing should have been  applied to the surgical area ( This was not done ).  A person who just had a lobotomy is not conscious, much less ambulatory!  All those solid punches to the face but no black eye, bloody nose, cut lip or broken teeth in the lot!  With all those metallic body parts littering the floor of  the train car, you'd think that at least one of the girls would trip over something!  The chef was not put in jail.  Did those two girls really get executed in real life?  What's with that Bollywood-style song-and-dance number during the Ending Credits?  She never got around to doing her dance for the escapee.  So, what does that mean ...?

Baby Doll carried this movie through with one predominant facial expression: Either that of someone who was  apprehensive  or someone who was worriedly constipated--or both!   Look out!  "Lincoln Logs" coming through!  Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha--snort!

And the major spoiler is ...:  After she was placed in the institution, she was lobotomized almost immediately and never really had a chance to interact with the other patients!

At least, this movie is consistent in that it started out stupid and ended up stupid!

fyi:  I should have listened to my hygienist earlier today for she told me not to go to the midnight show because it might not be a good enough movie.  I sacrificed a good night's sleep for nothing.  I arrived home at 2:30 a.m.  I went to bed at 3:00 a.m.  I was still awake at  4:00  a.m.  And I had to be up by 6:00 a.m. to be at work by 7:00 a.m.  But I really don't know when I fell asleep!  All I can say about my sleep is that it wasn't long enough.  Damn those rebellious yet seriously hot babes who put on make-up and paraded around in tight/skimpy outfits--they lured me like a moth to a flame!

word of advice:  Don't go to a midnight show if you have to go to work the next day, especially if you have to work early in the morning.

tidbits:  As I walked into the auditorium, I saw this girl go through the used i-max 3-d glasses collection barrel because she thought the movie was in 3-d.  One of her two girlfriends told her to stop picking through it because she didn't need it.

At least three dozen people stayed until after the Ending Credits.  And that was enough time for them to see the logo: Cruel and Unusual Films.  This drew a laugh from the crowd.

Then, a woman in the audience said, "They didn't show the dance.  I'm pissed.  They mind-f-cked  you but they didn't  show the dance!"

As I went to occupy a toilet stall to relieve my bladder, I heard a guy say, "I'm sure everybody has seen Vanessa Hudgens naked."  ( Cine-Man has no comment on this--Ahem! )

And another guy said, "Yeah, a couple more naked girls and I'd give it a 5-star ( rating )."

THE LINCOLN LAWYER, R ( 1 hr & 49 min )

where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Thursday, March 24th, 2011
show:  11:15 a.m. ( Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee )
costs:  $6.25 Ticket + $2.32 bulk Chocolate Candy + $4.00 small Diet/Zero Coke = $12.57
auditorium:  11
seat:  4th row, 8th column

synopsis/overview:  A sleazeball lawyer, Mickey Haller ( Matthew McConaughey ),  who specializes in sleazeball cases,  gets a crisis of conscience when the biggest sleazeball case falls on his lap.

noteworthy scenes:  1.) "That's not how you spell the 'wheel'"; 2.) "My name's Reynaldo"; 3.) Case postponed; 4.) "I got my license back three months ago"; 5.) Bikers; 6.) "The best scam artists in the world are right here in Hollywood"; 7.) The attorney couple; 8.) "Luis' choice"; 9.) "I may turn some tricks for the PTA"; 10.) "Time to tell me what happened"; 11.) "Homosexual couple from across the hall"; 12.) "There's no client more scary than an innocent man"; 13.) "No, no.  I got this. I insist"; 14.) Security tape; 15.) "What am I missing here"; 16.) Switched files; 17.) "You lied to me"; 18.) "How does someone like you sleep at night with the scum that you represent"; 19.) "You know that there are lines that I will cross"; 20.) Photo evidence; 21.) "I ain't going to jail for something I didn't do"; 22.) "I'm trying to make it right"; 23.) "I couldn't believe I'd represent at innocent man"; 24.) "He's got me in his trick bag"; 25.) Intruder; 26.) Murder scene; 27.) "You were the only one who could have taken it off  him"; 28.) 'Phone message; 29.) Gun case; 30.) "Pleasurable, consensual love"; 31.) Warrant; 32.) Testimonies; 33.) "There's something I need you to get for me"; 34.) Defendant's testimony; 35.) Legal document; 36.) Rebuttal witness; 37.) Judge's chambers; 38.) The acquittal; 39.) "Time to find yourself a new lawyer"; 40.) "Whose side are you on, anyway"; 41.) "You got more balls than a Chinese ping-pong tournament"; 42.) Tracker; 43.) "Hospital, not the morgue"; 44.) The killer; 45.) "I thought I told you to be careful"; and 46.)  "Three-peat customers ....  You stick it to them the next time."

favorite scene:  I liked the "payback" scene involving the bikers.

audience reaction:  The audience liked this a lot.

recommendation:  I liked this Psychological Thriller type of  movie, too.  Go see it if  you're a fan of  the genre.

spoiler alert!  Couldn't he afford to own a more modern and more fuel-efficient  Lincoln Town Car especially with today's  gas prices the way they are?  Why was the attorney couple ( He = Defense; She = Prosecution ) allowed to appear and/or present their cases in the same court?  Shouldn't this be considered a breach of professional ethics or a conflict of interest?  Just who, exactly, stole the old gun in the first place?  When pointing out the taped evidence to the witness, why did he use his "dirty" finger instead of his index finger--was he sending out a message to her since she was just  a prostitute?  What exactly was the killer's motive?  There had to have been a reason why he just targeted prostitutes.  And his personal experience with rape didn't justify the killings.  The police would want to know how Mickey  came into possession of  a gun which was not registered in his name at all.  Because the unregistered-to-him gun would cast doubt on his "Self-Defense" alibi, tainting it with a hint of premeditation.  Not only that  but, more than likely, he didn't have a permit to carry a concealed deadly weapon.

fyi:  My brother took me  to the hospital two days after I injured my left knee during my bicycle ride from work.  The nurse asked me why it took me two days to go to the hospital.  And I told her that it was because I couldn't walk the day before.  Anyway, after she immobilized my left leg, she had me sit in a wheelchair and be wheeled out of the hospital--for legal reasons--even though I was more than capable of  limping out to the curb where my brother sat in his pick-up truck waiting for me.  I can honestly tell you this:  I felt very embarrassed sitting in that damn wheelchair!  Heck, I mean, I rode my bicycle for ten miles after the accident to get back home and, yet, they wouldn't let me walk just a few yards' distance in the hospital.  Oh, and those idiots forgot to give me a pair of  crutches!

word of advice:  Don't send an innocent man to jail.

tidbits:  I had my periodontal cleaning today at 8:00 a.m.   And the hygienist told me to keep up the good work because my teeth were very clean.

I went to the Admiral Callahan Lane Safeway Store to get my prescription filled, afterwards. 

Then, I went to the doughnut shop a few doors down to have a breakfast of  coffee and apple fritter.  Dang! their apple fritters are at least three times bigger than the ones at Safeway.  I couldn't even finish the whole thing.

I went home to take care of some bills and dropped  them off  at  the Postal Annex  before  I  went  to see this movie. 

After the movie, I went to pick-up my check, put gas in my car's tank, and make deposits at Bank of America and Chase Bank.

Finally, I went to Selecta Filipino Buffet to eat lunch, to buy some lottery tickets and to read the Filipino newspapers  before heading off  for home. 

And I did all these in the rain.  Talk about crummy weather.  But I guess that we need the water, whether we like it or not.

LIMITLESS, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 45 min )

where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011
show:  10:05 p.m.
costs:  $9.75 Ticket + $4.50 Pretzel Bites + $4.50 20 fl. oz.  XXX VitaminWater = $18.75
auditorium:  13
seat:  5th row, 7th column

synopsis/overview:  An aspiring writer, Eddie Morra ( Bradley Cooper ),  who just broke-up with his girlfriend, Lindy ( Abbie Cornish ),  and is about to get himself evicted from his apartment,  has a chance encounter with his former brother-in-law, Vernon ( Johnny Whitworth ),  who is peddling a new kind of  illicit drug: NZT-48.  A drug that can help its user access the largely-untapped portion of one's mind.  He gets hooked on this mind-altering drug and is totally dependent on it as it takes him on a whirlwind ride of  prestige and financial success.  But just as his supply dwindles and the side effects become more pronounced, he finds himself  on the run from  unsavory characters who will stop at nothing to get what little he has left.
 


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Penthouse balcony; 2.) Writer's block; 3.) "I was your girlfriend"; 4.) The new drug; 5.) "I was blind but now I see"; 6.) The landlord's wife, Valerie ( T. V. Carpio ); 7.) House cleaning; 8.) "I was back"; 9.) 'Phone messages; 10.)Murder;  11.) The secret stash; 12.) "Worth the risk"; 13.) New-found skills; 14.) New friends; 15.) Loan; 16.) Dinner date; 17.) "It will be cost-effective"; 18.) Side effect; 19.) "Actual recipe for grandeur"; 20.) "Move, digest, ingest"; 21.) Skips; 22.) Fight; 23.) "I couldn't account for the last 18 hours of my life"; 24.) Hieroglyphs; 25.) Victim of  foul play; 26.) Bugged; 27.) 'Phone calls; 28.) "I didn't want you to see me this way"; 29.) "Try to taper-off"; 30.) "I feel good, man"; 31.) "I had no choice"; 32.) Stalker; 33.) "You'll take it and then you'll know"; 34.) "Who's back, Eddie"; 35.) The chemist; 36.) Body guards; 37.) The shady lawyer; 38.) "Don't make me your competition"; 39.) The limousine driver; 40.) The police line-up [ I am  number 4--Ha, ha, ha ]; 41.) The package; 42.) The missing stash; 43.) The bad guys; 44.) Blood; 45.) Hospital; 46.) "Have you ever asked yourself when you ran out"; and 47.) "I see everything."

favorite scene:  I liked the subway fight.  It made me laugh.

audience reaction:  I didn't hear much of a reaction from the audience.

recommendation:  It's good enough to be a "date" movie. 

spoiler alert!  A drug that is  in pill, tablet, capsule or gel form usually takes approximately half an hour to dissolve in a person's stomach--if  the person  takes  it with a glass of water.  But Eddie, Lindy and the bad guy, Gennady ( Andrew Howard ),  just popped it in their mouths  without  washing it down with water.  In other words, the drug's effects would have taken longer to get noticed.  So, if the new drug that he took went into effect in just "30 seconds" then it could not have been in solid form in the first place!  I don't know about you, but I've called 911 a few times and I always got a recording first!   A bum who reports a murder all of a sudden starts to go into "fashion make-over" mode--shouldn't this have raised a "red flag" and gotten the cops suspicious? He should just have kept the drug in his pocket because,  even if  Gennady patted him down, it would still have gone  unnoticed.  There were a lot of people in that skating rink when the blood-stained bad guy with a big knife fell down--and nobody had a camera cellphone ...?   That dude got a big gash on his left cheek and would be easy to spot in broad daylight after the two murders and one attempted murder in the park got the front-page/latest news treatment from the media.  Okay, the drug made him a super genius but it never occurred to him to buy-out a Chemistry laboratory, buy and read-up on Chemistry books and "reverse engineer" the drug's formulation, himself?  Maybe he never heard of the expression, "If you want it done right, do it yourself."  Eddie said it wrong when he said, "We're instinct of  creatures" ( It should have been, "We're creatures of instinct" ).  An average human has about a gallon and a quart of blood in his/her body.  So, the amount that he ingested would have just contained a very diluted amount of the drug and would not have been enough to "super-smart" him in that time of emergency.  The most he would have gotten from that tiny amount of blood would just have been a  fleeting "flash of genius".  Even if he removed the evidence from the safe and shoved it down the garbage disposal, because that was a homicide crime scene, the CSI personnel would have thoroughly inspected that penthouse so that blood residue would be evident inside that safe since Eddie didn't have enough time to thoroughly clean it.  In other words, the police detectives would have thought  twice about  finalizing their conclusion that it was all a case of mistaken identity in which the former tenant was an illegal arms dealer because of  the FRESH blood residue in the safe. 

fyi:  You don't need a drug to become super smart.  Just master the skill required to shift your brainwave frequency from Beta to Theta.  Theta is were your mind stores all the possible answers/solutions to all of your problems.  Of course, this is easier said than done!  I haven't even began to try it since I've been doing Alpha brainwave frequency sound meditation  all along for the last eight years.  And meditating to sound is not the same as acquiring the necessary skills to shift one's brainwave frequency at will.  But I guess now is as good a time as any for me to "switch gears", so to speak. 

word of advice:  Too much of a good thing is too much.

 If you want something done right, do it yourself.

tidbits:  As I made my way to auditorium 13, I came across Raymond, a former co-worker of mine,  who was in the hallway waiting for his girlfriend.  They were there to see the same movie as I was.  I wanted to  shake hands with him but his right hand was really swollen.  He told me that he had an accident the night before in Sacramento, CA.  He must have been driving a little too fast in the rain.

PAUL, R ( 1 hr & 44 min )

where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Friday, March 18th, 2011
show:  5:10 p.m.
costs:  $7.50 Ticket + $4.00 small Hi-C Punch/Pink Lemonade = $11.00
auditorium:  10
seat:  4th row, 7th column

synopsis/overview:  Graeme ( Simon Pegg ) and Clive ( Nick Frost ), two British comic book fans,  go to the Comic-Con in San Diego, CA.  Later on, they rent an RV to go on a road trip to visit sites of alleged UFO sightings.  They get more than what they had hoped for  when a space alien on the lam hitches a ride with them while assorted characters are in hot pursuit and closing in fast.

noteworthy scenes:  1.) Farmhouse incident; 2.) Comic-Con; 3.) "Do you believe in aliens"; 4.) "Between a woman and a machine"; 5.) Chevrolet Avalanche pick-up truck; 6.) Car crash; 7.) "Put the 'phone down"; 8.) "How much can I learn from an ass"; 9.) "I was speaking English"; 10.) "People get in accidents all the time"; 11.) "Was that Klingon"; 12.) Road block; 13.) "Camouflage response"; 14.) Alien probe; 15.) Gas station; 16.) "Plausible deniability"; 17.) Bird; 18.) "11 o'clock, 12 o'clock"; 19.) 'Phone call; 20.) Campground; 21.) 1980; 22.) "Jesus shoots Darwin"; 23.) "How do you explain me"; 24.) Sketch; 25.) "Collective knowledge"; 26.) Mooning; 27.) Jealousy; 28.) "I can curse"; 29.) "Eye for an eye"; 30.) Roy's Bar; 31.) "It's probing time"; 32.) "You gentlemen seen anything unusual this evening"; 33.) "They were about to make-out"; 34.) Campfire; 35.) "He can read minds"; 36.) Disguise; 37.) "Who has space-man balls"; 38.) "Is that you on the cover"; 39.) "Pretty good"; 40.) "I've got to quit smoking"; 41.) "We're all in this together"; 42.) Radio scanners; 43.) "Your reality is all that matters"; 44.) "It's okay, he's alright"; 45.) "He'll be fine"; 46.) Fireworks; 47.) Plan B; 48.) Shotgun; 49.) "That sucks--I don't even get to eat him"; 50.) "You freed me"; 51.) Awesome; and 52.) Bonus Scene during the Ending Credits.

favorite scenes:  I liked the Creation vs. Evolution argument scene.

I liked the scene wherein Paul sneaked into the house to retrieve the passport.

I liked the exploding farmhouse scene.  The explosion was a real one and of  the kind where you don't have idiots casually and slowly walking away from its blast radius  like in some other movies!

audience reaction:  The audience liked this Sci-Fi Road Trip Comedy.

recommendation:  I liked it, too.  If you're into comic books, science fiction and UFOs, this movie is for you.

spoiler alert!  Although there have been many reported "UFO" sightings in Wyoming for many, many years, there was no reported sighting in Moorcroft, Wyoming, in July of 1947--but there was a sighting in April of 1963.  The only reported sighting for July of 1947 was not in Moorcroft, Wyoming, but was the  one  in  Roswell, New Mexico, and which was printed in the town's newspaper.  People who believe in God--or gods--might be offended by this atheistic look at "The Big Picture."  The solo car accident involving Paul would have been enough to break the alien's neck because his head is too big and too heavy for our terrestrial environment.  Paul's disproportionately big head atop a scrawny neck would seem to suggest that his home planet has a weaker field of gravity as well as have an atmosphere that is "thick" enough to support the weight of his head.  In other words, his planet would most likely be  a watery world.  'Ever noticed how there are plenty of  aquatic creatures  out there whose heads are disproportionately big compared to the rest of their bodies?  Or, to put it in another way, Paul is not anatomically structured for a suitable terrestrial life here on Earth.  And his eyes are too big to be practical.  The biggest land and sea creatures here on Earth have small eyes because millions of  years of evolution have proven that such eyes are the most practical ones to have for their respective sizes.  Big eyes are more injury prone and more vulnerable to sun damage, infections  and  diseases.  Of course, lots of insects out there have very big eyes; but their eyes are protected by an outer lining since they don't have eyelashes and eyelids; and they  see outside of  the visible light spectrum with their compound eyes to avoid sun damage.  Since Paul transferred his memory to his new-found friends, they would have instantly known what Paul was up to and where he was heading so that they shouldn't have had the need to ask him where he was going!  And these are two other possible outcomes of the memory transfer:  Paul's friends would be able to read, write and speak in his language; and they would be more smarter ( in the field of  alien technology ) for it all.  And speaking of thought transference, why didn't Paul just do a memory transfer--in the first place--on those top-level security interrogators and scientists who kept him as a "guest" in Area 51 for over 60 years.  There was a scene where Clive stuck his finger in one of  two bullet holes in a mask  that he wore; but no explanation was offered as to why he was not even wounded--at the very least!  Paul, a long-time cigarette and marijuana smoker,  could hold his breath for quite some  time but, all of a sudden, he runs  out of  breath?   A window was broken and,  more importantly, the front door was opened and enough time had elapsed for the gas to have been diluted to the point  that the explosion would not have happened the way it was shown.  And the bullet should have found its mark because when it was fired from the gun, the secondary explosion ( i.e. the house blowing-up ), with its shock wave,  trailed the bullet's own velocity. The shotgun wound was in the area of  the Heart, Ascending Aorta and Pulmonary Artery so that he would have been killed instantly ( meaning, there really was no time for that "tear-jerking" small talk ).  The landing gears retracted slowly.  So, by the same token, the landing gears should have extended slowly, not fast like some kind of  giant flyswatter snuffing-out a bug!  When the alien spaceship lifted-up and its landing gears retracted, the body was nowhere to be found.

fyi:  With the advances in Science and Technology, we know  that the Earth is more than 4,000 years old.  The age determination is accomplished through the use of  half-life dating techniques such as Radiocarbon Dating, Uranium-Thorium Dating and suchlike.  The point that I'm getting at is that people who take for granted the modern advances in  the fields of  Science, Technology and Medicine, yet still insist that the Earth is just 4,000 years old,  SHOULD ALL GO LIVE IN A CAVE!  Period ( and Exclamation Mark ).

My friend, Hector, has that same exact  sword.  One of  his sons gave it to him.  Its  handle has a hidden knife.  But, neither Hector nor I--nor anyone else for that matter--could figure out how to pull the secret knife out.  Where was  King Arthur when I needed  him the most?

Back when my family lived in the apartment in Matina, Davao City, Mindanao, Philippines, I had this crazy idea that if  I cut-off  my eyelashes they'd grow back longer and thicker.  So, I proceeded to cut my eyelashes off.  And my eyes were watery and swollen for the next three days!

word of advice:  With the countless numbers of  stars out there with their own solar systems, life on other planets is more than just a probability.

tidbits:  If you look closely at  the movie poster that I used for this blog, you'll notice the release date of  Valentine's Day, 2011.  It premiered on that date in some other countries and it was uploaded to movie2k.com at around that time, too.  I was gonna watch it first on movie2k.com a couple of  days before watching it on the big screen, but the uploads are of  poor quality in the sense that the movie would keep buffering and resetting back to the start point.

It's good to finally see a "little green man" not go around butt-naked!  I mean, we're talking about highly advanced beings here who can travel across galaxies faster than the speed of light.  Yet, somehow, they forget to put a pair of pants on before going on an inter-galactic "road trip".  How stupid is that?

Q:  Why is the Starship Enterprise like a piece of  toilet paper?

A:  Because it goes around  Uranus in search of  Klingons!  Ha, ha, ha--snort!

LORD OF THE DANCE 3-D, G ( 1 hr & 47 min )

where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA

when:  Thursday, March 17th, 2011

show:  2:35 p.m.

costs:  $12.00 Ticket + $4.75 small Zero Coke + $9.73 lunch @ Home-Town Buffet ( + $1.00 Tip ) = $27.48

auditorium:  10, with a 3-D screen

seat:  4th row, 8th column

synopsis/overview:  This movie tells an age-old Irish folklore about the battle between Good and Evil, all told through music and dance by a  famous dance troupe on the last leg of their world-wide tour in a performance held in their home turf of  Dublin, Ireland.

audience reaction:  N/A.  There were only three people in the audience, including myself.

recommendation:  If you've never seen traditional Irish step-dancing or are already a fan of it, you have got to see this movie especially since it's just a one-week limited engagement timed to coincide with the St. Patrick's Day celebration.

spoiler alert:  Why were there no redheads among the dancers ...?  I mean ... when I think of Irish, I think of redheads.

fyi:  The dancers in this movie not only move in precision with each other  but also are percussion musical "instruments" that are synchronized harmoniously with all the other musical instruments.

First, Corned Beef & Cabbage at Home-Town Buffet.  Then, LORD OF THE DANCE.  Yup, I think I celebrated St. Patrick's Day well enough--except for the Irish Beer since I don't drink.

My brother's birthday is today, as well as my best friend's daughter.  I had better wish the both of them with a "Happy Birthday."

word of advice:  Music and dance make the world go 'round.

tidbits:  Earlier in the day, I went to Bank of America and to Chase Bank to make deposits.  Then, I went to Postal Annex to drop something off in the mailbox.  And I went to CSAA to make a payment on my car insurance.

Two intersections from the buffet, some idiot cut me off even though I had the right of way!  A curse on that reckless-driver idiot!

I also went to see MARS NEEDS MOMS in I-Max 3-D just because ....

"Happy Saint Patrick's Day!"

"Eirinn go brach"

MARS NEEDS MOMS, PG ( 1 hr & 28 min )

where:  BRENDEN VACAVILLE 16 in Vacaville, CA
when:  Saturday, March 12th, 2011
show:  7:00 p.m.
costs:  $13.75 Ticket + $3.50 16 oz Rock Star Energy Drink = $17.25
auditorium:  10, with the 3-D screen
seat:  4th row, 8th column

2nd time:


where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Thursday, March 17th, 2011
show:  12:40 p.m.
costs:  $17.50 Ticket = $17.50
auditorium:  12, with the I-Max screen
seat:  6th row, 6th seat


synopsis/overview:   Trying to save his mom from being abducted by aliens, Milo gets himself inadvertently stowed-away in the alien craft bound for Mars.  Managing an escape shortly after his capture, he comes across the secret lair of another Earthling, Dribble.  But as soon as  he  finds out what will happen to his mom after the Martians are done extracting vital information from  her, he stops at nothing to try and save her.


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Martian nursery; 2.) Satellite survey; 3.) Broccoli; 4.) "My life would be so much better if  I didn't have a mom at all"; 5.) Regret; 6.) Abduction; 7.) Stowaway; 8.) Captured; 9.) Escape; 10.) "World of trash"; 11.) Gribble's hideout; 12.) "The fact is, Mars needs moms"; 13.) Order and discipline"; 14.) Less than seven hours; 15.) Disguise; 16.) "Mars needs botox"; 17.) Discovered; 18.) Graffiti artist; 19.) "You got time now"; 20.) TV show; 21.) "She loves me"; 22.) Gribble's personal items; 23.) Firing squad; 24.) Rescue; 25.) Cavern; 26.) "They chose her because of me"; 27.) Gribble's story; 28.) "You can change color"; 29.) Family; 30.) Guard room; 31.) "To be alone is to be without"; 32.) "The crazy thing called, Love"; 33.) Voice command; 34.) Crevice; 35.) Activated launch system; 36.) Hugs; 37.) "Did you just pull me out of  bed"; 38.) Helmet; 39.) Proof of  lie; 40.) "He's really good at red"; 41.) "Did something happen to Milo this weekend"; and 42.) Bonus scenes during the Ending Credits.

audience reaction:  The audience, i.e. the little brats, liked this movie.

recommendation:  I liked this movie, too.  Take your brats to go see this movie.  Maybe it will teach them to eat their vegetables or lose their moms to bogeymen!

spoiler alert!  The spaceship's landing gear compartment should not be pressurized and climate-controlled, just like with our spaceships.  In other words, Milo would have been dead even before the ship reached Escape Velocity.  Tee shirt, socks and shorts on Martian surface equal almost instant death through hypothermia--Martian surface temperature is way much colder than the coldest place on Earth! How do the Martians breathe since I didn't see any "nose holes" anywhere on their heads?  Since the males were all banished to the bowels of the red planet, conception could only have been  accomplished one  way: Through asexual cloning.  In other words, the babies would all be females.  I don't know whether the nanny-bots belong with the Autobots or the Decepticons.  Originally, as was shown in Ki's story, there were two "supervisors",  a male and a female.  But I guess the male was booted-out of  Mars and landed here on Earth, finding fame in Hollywood as an actor and becoming the subject of the movie, E. T.  Gribble must have stunk to high heaven, and I guess Martian chicks dig that about Earthlings.  Gribble was in constant hiding and had to scrounge around for food--how'd he get so fat?  How was Gribble able to figure out the Martian technology?  How did Milo figure out how to tell time by using a martian wristwatch?  Milo stuck-out like a sore thumb in his disguise since all the rest were essentially of the same built and height.  For a moment there, I thought that I was watching the movie, AVATAR, all over again.  Why didn't the Supervisor shoot Gribble right there and then?  So I guess the Martians can breathe our air and vice versa.  Ki didn't seem to suffer from the  effect of  Earth's gravity  on her body which was accustomed to the Martian gravitational field that  is approximately only one-third that of   Earth's!  Interplanetary/interspecies love affair ... how's that gonna work out?  For the crimes that the Supervisor committed, including but not limited to interplanetary abduction and murder, the punishment was way too lenient!  ( Firing squad, anyone ...? )

fyi:  The Disney Digital 3-D glasses are very uncomfortable to wear for me, unlike the Real-D 3-D glasses which are available at Regal and Century theatres.  Also, they are not hygienically sealed--I had to take mine to the men's room to wash it clean with soap and warm water because it looked to have already been used before it was handed to me ( it had fingerprints all over it ).  I wonder if I can use a Real D 3-D glasses as a substitute for a Disney Digital 3-D glasses because I've got a bunch of  Real D 3-D glasses that I've taken  home with me.  But these guys at the Brenden Theatre came in after the movie  was over  to collect the Disney Digital 3-D glasses--cheap bastards!


I don't know if  I already mentioned this before, but I had a Russian Blue cat once named, Conan, who loved to eat fruits and vegetables.  An early indication was when I sat at the kitchen table eating lunch.  A piece of broccoli fell to the floor.  Conan went for it, eating it without hesitation.  So, I gave him the title, Conan, The Vegetarian.

When I was a little boy, my family went to Quezon City, Manila, Philippines, on a trip.  We stayed at our cousins', The Faustinos, place.  One day, I had to use the toilet.  Mind you, back at our place in Kidapawan, Cotabato, Mindanao, Philippines, I learned to squat down to use the toilet--nobody I knew sat on the toilet seat.  So, there I was in the Faustino residence's toilet squatting down on the porcelain seat.  For  some reason, I slipped.  My foot got stuck in the bowl.  I bawled because I had the irrational fear that a shark was gonna come up and bite my foot off.  The maid came rushing in and helped me get unstuck.  Talk about being embarrassed!


word of  advice:  We all need moms ( and dads ).  Otherwise, I wouldn't be here blogging and you wouldn't be here reading.

tidbits:  I decided to try the Rock Star Energy Drink.  The concessions clerk told me that I won't be able to sleep tonight.  I told him,  I hope that you're  wrong because I need to get some sleep.  As it turned out, I was wrong and he was right! And to make matters worse, it was initial  Daylight Savings Time.  So, I lost an hour and my body hadn't adjusted yet to the time change.  Plus, the last song that I heard on my car radio on my commute home was the Adele  song, Rolling In The Deep--and it stuck in my head in replay/endless loop mode ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT   ( Aarrgghh! )  as I desperately tried to get some sleep since I had to be up by 8:30 a.m. the following day, Sunday,  to be at work by 10:00 a.m. even though my biorhythmic clock  tried to convince  me to stay in bed for an hour longer. 

RED RIDING HOOD, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 49 min )

where:  BRENDEN VACAVILLE 16 in Vacaville, CA
when:  Saturday, March 12th, 2011
show:  4:55 p.m.
costs:  $8.00 Ticket + $4.00 small Diet Pepsi + $13.35 lunch @ Tin Tin Buffet before the show ( + $2.25 Tip ) = $27.60
auditorium:  16
seat:  5th row, 10th column

synopsis/overview:  A young woman, Valerie ( Amanda Seyfried ),  is torn between the man she loves, Peter ( Shiloh Fernandez ),  and the well-to-do man, Henry ( Max Irons ),  that her parents had betrothed her to.  Just as Valerie and Peter are thinking of eloping, Valerie's sister is killed by a werewolf.  The town hires a werewolf hunter, Father Solomon ( Gary Oldman ), who proceeds to tell the people that the wolf takes on human form by day and is living among them.  Now, Valerie is starting to get suspicious about all the people that are near and dear to her as panic overruns the village.
 

noteworthy scenes:  1.) Sacrificial offering; 2.) The bunny; 3.) Sister; 4.) Mother's ( Virginia Madsen ) confession; 5.) "If you love her, you'll let her go"; 6.) The hunt; 7.) "All sorrows are lost with bread"; 8.) The red hood; 9.) The cave; 10.) "I was afraid"; 11.) Love child; 12.) Father Solomon ( Gary Oldman ); 13.) Blood Moon Week; 14.) Celebration; 15.) Attack; 16.) "I know you well"; 17.) "A man bitten is a man cursed"; 18.) "'Just a scratch"; 19.) The broken engagement; 20.) Interrogation; 21.) The betrayal; 22.) Trial; 23.) Rescue plan; 24.) "I can smell it on you"; 25.) Public display; 26.) Diversion; 27.) "My brother had children, too"; 28.) The dream; 29.) "It all made sense"; 30.) The bite; 31.) The village's old ways; 32.) The return; and 33.) Stupid bonus scene after the Ending Credits.

audience reaction:  The audience was somewhat entertained by this creative re-imagination of  a well known fairy tale.

recommendation:  I liked it enough.  It's a Chick Flick aimed at "Twilight" fans.  So, if  you're such a fan, go see this movie.

spoiler alert!  Why didn't the rabbit, supposedly a wild one, hop away when it had the chance?  If I were either parent of the fallen victim, I wouldn't stand far-off like that; but  I would be down on the ground hugging and grieving hard for my loved one.  Ah, didn't the villagers know that they were  walking around inadequately clothed for the winter?  Shouldn't  his clothes have been torn to pieces when he turned into a werewolf since it was bigger in size than an average  human being and almost practically the size of  a horse?  In other words, whoever came out of that cave  butt-naked  was not a streaker, was not an exhibitionist, was not a naturist, was not a nudist, but was the werewolf!  After all, people back then didn't have closets full of  clothes and didn't go walking around with a change of clothes handy.  Sleeping Grandma woke up too quickly.  You'd think that the hand kept in that box would have been rotten by then.   By the time that the villagers had formed another hunting party the day  after the second attack, the snow would have already covered-up the werewolf's tracks.  You would think that with the werewolf running loose on Blood Moon Week people would barricade themselves.  But Grandma's door wasn't locked from the inside.  How was the werewolf  able to disguise its voice to make itself  sound like Grandma ( Julie Christie )?   Shouldn't the dead victims of  the werewolf   have  been disposed of properly, severed limbs and all?   That  sure gives new meaning to "giving someone the finger."

fyi:  It was not the Romans who invented the Brazen Bull--a Brazen Elephant  in this movie--but the ancient Greeks.  And  I already talked about this on my blog for last year's SAW 3-D, THE FINAL CHAPTER.

word of advice:  Don't marry for money.

tidbits:  After this movie ended, I realized that I had enough time to catch the 7:00 p.m. show for MARS NEEDS WOMEN in 3-D.  So, I stuck around to see this  just to save a future trip to the cinemas.

BATTLE: LOS ANGELES, PG - 13 ( 1 hr & 56 min )

where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Friday, March 11th, 2011
show:  6:00 p.m.
costs:  $7.50 Ticket + $4.50 20 oz Revive VitaminWater = $12.00
auditorium:  2
seat:  4th row, 1st seat

synopsis/overview:  Los Angeles serves as the last stand when otherworldly aliens come to take our water.
 

noteworthy scenes:  1.) Textbook military invasion; 2.) Beach; 3.) Meteor showers; 4.) Training ground; 5.) "By the end of the day, we'll be taking orders from you, Sir"; 6.) "'not a meteor shower"; 7.) TV news; 8.) Into the fray; 9.) "We're leveling Santa Monica"; 10.) "I'd rather be in Afghanistan"; 11.) Boxed-in; 12.) Swimming pool; 13.) "I' ready for payback"; 14.) LAPD; 15.) Enemy air support; 16.) "Just make a decision"; 17.) "We're being colonized"; 18.) Transit bus; 19.) "I'm a veterinarian"; 20.) "How do you kill this thing"; 21.) "They're tracking our signals"; 22.) Gas station; 23.) Drone; 24.) "Retreat--Hell"; 25.) "'Went off the grid"; 26.) Freeway on-ramp; 27.) Explosives; 28.) Water as fuel; 29.) "That's the thing that's controlling the drones"; 30.) Alternate extraction point; 31.) "Marines don't quit"; 32.) "Like a punchline of some bad joke"; 33.) "They're going down like bowling pins"; 34.) Infiltration; 35.) Alien command and control nexus; 36.) "Paint this target"; 37.) Temporary operating base; and 38.) "We already had breakfast, Sir."

favorite scene:  I liked the scene where they were dissecting the live alien.

audience reaction:  The audience liked it enough to give it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation:  I would say that this is better than last year's SKYLINE.  Go see this movie if you're into Sci-Fi/Action Films.

spoiler alert!   This movie starts out in August of this year.  I guess, they changed their mind and decided to show this earlier in the year because it might not fare well against the anticipated summer blockbuster movies.  Wouldn't it make more sense for the dumb-ass aliens to establish a foothold first by landing  on tiny remote islands, where the water is less likely to be polluted and where the natives--if there are any--are less likely to put up a fierce opposition, before they take-on highly populated and technologically advanced cities?  I mean, this was how Christopher Columbus "discovered" The Americas by landing on the island of Haiti; and this was how Ferdinand Magellan started the colonization of the Philippines by landing on the island of Cebu.  The Marines--or the aliens, for that matter--could have used thermal sensors to locate the enemy in all that thick smoke!  The aliens' vital fluid is just water, which is plain stupid.  The vital fluid of any organism, whether terrestrial or extra-terrestrial, is transported through its circulatory system to deliver nutrients, immune factors and metabolic and repair necessities, et cetera  to cells; and this same fluid removes toxins and catabolic waste products from the body.  In other words, the vital fluid can not ever be water, even if said organism's body composition is over 50% water!  ( The human body's  composition is 70% water, if  I remember it right. )  Why were they just sitting around for when they had an imminent deadline to keep on top of?  The Humvee's 50-caliber machine gun was spitting-out crimped cartridges--spoiling the illusion that they were actually using live ammo. Okay, so they went flying in a practically defenseless helicopter in alien-dominated territory with no alien craft patrolling the night sky to assert its superiority--what, were the aliens sleeping-in for the night?  A bazooka--don't they use RPGs now?  And what was with that laser beam projector with a power cord attached to it which was not only bulky but probably was hefty for its size, too.  I mean, couldn't they just have used a laser pointer pen, the kind that comes attached to a key chain that you can buy at a dollar store and use to amuse a playful kitten with?  They were in a war, yet they still hand-loaded  their magazines.  Why didn't they have magazine speed-loaders and stripper-clips handy?

fyi:  An ex-Marine co-worker of mine told me that shooting into a body of water can, at times, be a bad idea because the bullets can ricochet.

We all know from Basic Chemistry that water can be separated into its two component atoms to yield an explosive gas and a combustion accelerator.  And someone finally figured out how to run a car on plain ol' tap water!  The drawback to this is that you have to add alcohol to it if you use such a car in snow country to keep the water in your car's tank from freezing.

word of advice:  "We don't plan, we improvise."  US Marines

tidbits:  Earlier today, at a grocery store in Benicia, CA, a  tattooed woman went to checkstand one.  An image of a sword hilt is tattooed  on her cleavage--so, you know where the tip of  that sword is at!  Unbelievable but true.  Some people, I swear ....

As I was about to clock-out from work, I found out that a female co-worker's son just passed away.  How sad ....  I already lost four co-workers in the last four or  five years; and, now, this ....  And we also lost a few customers within the same time period.  It's starting to get too depressing to work at that place.

Later on, I swung by Selecta Filipino Buffet on Springs Road to have a light lunch and to buy some lottery tickets.  The Japanese earthquake and tsunami were shown on the news.  I felt sorry for those people who suffered from either or both calamities.

In the auditorium, I initially sat in the 4th seat.  But, while I was sitting there doing my Zhunti Mantra, a man in a wheelchair and his female companion came over and said to me, "I want you to move so we can sit together."  Can you imagine his rudeness?  He didn't even say, "Please" or "Thank you."  Just because he is wheelchair-bound gives him no right to be rude to able-bodied people!  'Remember what I said over a year ago about the "Vallejo Crowd" being rude, inconsiderate and disrespectful?  Well, this is another instance of it.  This is a free country, 'last time I checked, so I can sit anywhere I want.  But I didn't want to create a scene by reminding him of his rudeness and minding his manners; besides, I'm a 1st stage Yogi doing my enlightenment mantra at that  time.

So, I just got up and moved to the 1st seat on the left.  But my whispered mantra recitation  was already muddled by the intrusive thought of  the wheelchaired man's rudeness.  Angry, I said to myself, I put a curse on you for being rude.  Later, the wheelchaired man had to go to the men's room three times, and missed almost half of the movie--even the ending.  And three times, as I've said before, in the Occult and Supernatural circles mean "Yes".  I guess it doesn't pay to be rude to a Yogi, even a 1st stage one, who's doing his enlightenment mantra.
 

TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT, R ( 1 hr & 54 min )

where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Wednesday, March 9th, 2011
show:  10:25 p.m.
costs:  $9.75 Ticket + $5.00 Snack Pack + $1.18 bulk Chocolate Candy = $15.93
auditorium:  11
seat:  4th row, 8th column

synopsis/overview:   Matt Franklin ( Topher Grace ),  a recent MIT grad,   turns his back on the material world and works as a lowly clerk at a video store while he tries to figure out what to do with his life.  But his high school crush, Tori Frederking  ( Teresa Palmer ),  is suddenly back in the "picture".  To try and impress her, he makes-pretend to be somebody that he's not.  Then, they  go together on a date on a night that will forever change their lives.
 

noteworthy scenes:  1.) Domino effect; 2.) "You won the attendance award every year"; 3.) "We had a deal"; 4.) "I just applied to see if I could get in"; 5.) The car dealership; 6.) Glove compartment; 7.) The "Ball"; 8.) Obnoxious wheelchair guy; 9.) "Screwed ourselves into the market"; 10.)  Windsurfing; 11.) "We're doing this"; 12.) Dance-off; 13.) "You were my high school crush"; 14.) The proposal; 15.) Big life decisions; 16.) "I have cocaine on me"; 17.) Boob power; 18.) Sexual harassment; 19.) "I'm going to try this;" 20.) The Penis Game; 21.) Kinky, voyeuristic couple; 22.) Truth or dare; 23.) The letter; 24.) "I work at Sun Coast Video"; 25.) "Put a little relish on your hotdog"; 26.) "Wow, I'm wrong again"; 27.) Mulligan; 28.) Ride the "Ball"; 29.) "Tonight, I'm not afraid"; 30.) Miscalculation; 31.) Swimming pool; 32.) Telephone number; 33.) "Canceling the movers"; 34.) "That was bold"; and 35.) Name tag.

favorite scenes:  I liked the "in-the-patrol-car" scene.
 
I also liked the scene wherein Wendy Franklin ( Anna Faris ) had to break-up with Kyle Masterson ( Chris Pratt ).

audience reaction:  The audience, mostly male, enjoyed this movie.

recommendation:  I liked it enough.  Go see this if you're into Coming-of-Age Comedies.

spoiler alert!  That was one stupid place to hide one's stash of cocaine.  Am I supposed to believe that a  fancy, expensive house in Beverly Hills has no kind of  perimeter security--not even  a dog?  Why did Barry ( Dan Fogler ) go down like he was going to take a snort of coke, too, when there was only one snort straw?  Why did the airbags deploy when they didn't even hit anything?  Who's gonna pay for all that property damage?  If a big metal ball like that rumbled through a typical neighborhood in the middle of the night and crashed through fences, dogs would bark, car alarms would go off,  and people would be awakened.  So, I don't know why Mr. Korean Guy didn't find out about the property damage until the next day.  The ball could have its path of travel traced back to its most likely source: The house with the toilet-papered trees and party litter all over the residence.  And, of course, they could  always check for fingerprints.

fyi:  Is it just me or does Teresa Palmer look identical to Kristen Stewart?  Except for the hair color, they're practically identical twins separated at birth!

After Kim Karnes' song, BETTY DAVIS EYES, became popular, the comedian Bruce Baum came up with his parody song, MARTY FELDMAN EYES, in 1981.  I think this parody song eclipsed the original in popularity.  At least, I preferred the "Marty" version over the "Betty" version.  Check both of them out on YouTube.

word of advice:  Don't do or say anything foolish just to impress someone.

tidbits:  At the concession counter, the clerk told me that he liked this movie enough that he watched  it twice.  That was a good sign.

BEASTLY, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 35 min )

where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX
when:  Tuesday, March 8th, 2011
show:  5:25 p.m.
costs:  $11.00 Ticket + $2.00 small Popcorn ( All-Day Tuesday Discount Special on Small Popcorn ) + $4.75 Zero Sprite + $13.31 dinner at Hometown Buffet ( + $1.00 Tip ) = $32.06
auditorium:  4
seat:  4th row, 5th seat

synopsis/overview:  Beauty is in the eye of the Beholden

A vain and shallow high school hunk, Kyle Kingson  ( Alex Pettyfer ),  is turned into an ugly freak of nature by a  student witch, Kendra ( Mary-Kate Olsen ),  who he was foolish enough to insult.  Now, he has just a year to find somebody to love him just the way he is or stay cursed for the remainder of his life.



noteworthy scenes:  1.)  Green Committee Election Day; 2.) Posters; 3.) "People like people who look good"; 4.) White rose; 5.) "'Best embrace the 'suck'"; 6.) The curse; 7.) "Do you believe in magic"; 8.) Alone and abandoned; 9.) Will ( Neil Patrick Harris ), the blind tutor; 10.) "There's a hole in the heart"; 11.) Halloween party; 12.) "Chicks dig blind guys"; 13.) "It's about how I look at myself"; 14.) Delete; 15.) "Baby steps"; 16.) Homeless people; 17.) Drug dealers; 18.) "Hunter, not Kyle"; 19.) Appeasement presents; 20.) "I didn't want to freak you out"; 21.) Greenhouse; 22.) Korean TV show; 23.) "I've seen worst"; 24.) "The man I know you to be"; 25.) "Having a Coke with you"; 26.) "I need more time"; 27.) "'Just some guy from my old school"; 28.) Zoo; 29.) "'Feels like I've known you forever"; 30.) 'Phone text; 31.) Lake cottage; 32.) "You're a good friend"; 33.) The letter; 34.) Voice mail; 35.) High school Machu Picchu trip; 36.) The wink; 37.) Ring tone; 38.) "... dream, right"; 39.) The new intern; and 40.) Vacation snapshots during the Ending Credits.

audience reaction:  Some people in the audience liked it enough to give it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation: I liked it enough even though it has some logic holes.  This movie is aimed at teen-age girls who are really into Chick Flicks.

spoiler alert!  Heck, Kyle could wear a burqa in the daytime and dress like a ninja at night--problem solved!  Or Kyle's father, Rob Kingson ( Peter Krause ), who's in showbiz, could hire a Hollywood SFX make-up artist to make him natural-looking again.  Or Kyle could just go with it and start his own "signature look" juvenile delinquent gang.  So, pampered Kyle all of a sudden has the guts and the attitude to just walk up to someone with a gun!  Who does he think he is, the "unmasked" crime-fighting superhero? I guess Kyle never heard of  Asian mail-order brides who are willing to marry him simply because they "love" him.  Ha, ha, ha.  Lindy Taylor ( Vanessa Hudgens ) lives in a tenement in a bad part of town with a father who can't even afford to "finance" his own drug addiction and yet, somehow,  she can afford to go  to a fancy high school that  organizes field trips to foreign countries?  Hah!  You call that a "cottage"?  And since she didn't go to school for many months, shouldn't she have been suspended from participating in curricular and extra-curricular activities and/or expelled from school altogether?  Doesn't that school have a truant officer in charge of  investigating abrupt and/or extended absences from school?  Hell, I come across girls who say, "I love you," casually to their family, friends, acquaintances, and even to strangers all the time!   If  I were Lindy, I would have asked, "Kyle, why are you dressed exactly like Hunter for, and have the same exact height and the same exact built?"  Kendra is not a witch, she's a freakin' miracle worker!

fyi:  I saw this TV documentary once about a blind waitress.  Whenever she had to serve drinks, she would stick a finger in the glass so she'd know when to stop pouring.   Blind or not, that was kind of  unsanitary.

I know of this beautiful courtesy clerk, a Denise Richards look-alike, who came back into the store with a worried look on her face.  When I asked her what the matter was, she said that the young woman that she did a carry-out service for told her, "I love you."  I, and the female checker next to me, assured her that the woman didn't mean anything "sexual" by it.  So, the courtesy clerk said to the checker, "I love you."  The checker laughed.  And I wanted to ask her, What about me ...?  But I just turned and walked away before I could say anything that might be misconstrued by either one of them and land me in a heap of trouble.

word of advice:  "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."  Margaret Wolfe Hungerford

"Cage the rage."  Will, the blind tutor

tidbits:  This movie ranked itself at number three at the box office even though it's in a limited run.  So, I decided to see it just out of curiosity. 

After the movie, I went to the Fairfield Safeway store to buy some broccoli bunches and some Fuji apples.

Then, I went to Hometown Buffet for dinner because I haven't been to that restaurant in so long.

RANGO, PG ( 1 hr & 47 min )

where:  EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when:  Saturday, March 5th, 2011
show:  11:05 a.m.
costs:  $8.00 Ticket + $5.75 Zap Pack = $13.75
auditorium:  5, with a Digital Projection screen
seat:  3rd row, 15th column


2nd time:

where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Sunday, March 6th, 2011
show:  3:15 p.m.
costs:  $9.75 Ticket + $4.25 double-scoop ( Strawberry Cheesecake & Mint Chocolate ) Ice Cream in a Waffle Cone = $14.00
auditorium:  1, with a standard  screen
seat:  3rd row, 10th column 

synopsis/overview:  A pet chameleon gets stranded in the desert and finds its way to the little town of Dirt, where life is hard because of  the lack of water and because of  the  bandits  that roam its dusty streets.  To avoid trouble, he spins yarns of his gun-slinging ways well enough to convince everybody that he should become the town's latest sheriff--a profession that has a very quick turn-over, it seems.  But being the proverbial stranger in town, he doesn't know what trouble he is getting himself into.




noteworthy scenes:  1.)  Accident; 2.) Mariachi band; 3.) Blend in; 4.) Saloon; 5.) Bank vault; 6.) Belch; 7.) The challenge; 8.) Hawk; 9.) Vending machine; 10.) Mayor's office; 11.) Believe; 12.) Hoedown; 13.) Holy spigot; 14.) Bank; 15.) Prospecting permit; 16.) Bank robbery; 17.) Posse; 18.) Conjunctivitis; 19.) Tunnel; 20.) "Circle of Life"; 21.) "We ride"; 22.) Campfire; 23.) Thespians; 24.) "Entire family"; 25.) The chase; 26.) "It's like a big ol' mammogram"; 27.) Golf; 28.) Rattlesnake Jake; 29.) The road; 30.) Spirit of the West; 31.) "They follow the water"; 32.) Shut-off valve; 33.) "I'm going back"; 34.) "I've got a plan"; 35.) Contract paper; 36.) The challenge; 37.) Bad idea; 38.) "One bullet"; 39.) "Don't spoil it"; and 40.) The pessimistic Mariachi band.


favorite scenes:  The "Are those real" scene.


When Rock-Eye got snatched by the Hawk scene.


The belching fire scene.


The chase scene.


The "alabaster carriage with four golden guardians" to protect the Spirit of the West scene.

audience reaction:  The audience loved it.  And some people in the Vallejo crowd gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.


recommendation:  I loved this movie, too.  This movie has better Action Scenes than last year's TRUE GRIT.  This movie should have been in 3-D.  But since it is just in 2-D, opt to see it in digital projection instead--it's worth the money.



spoiler alert!  I have never seen a car antenna ball made out of glass, as if it were a Christmas tree ornament.  Since chameleons are reptiles, shouldn't Rango ( and the other reptiles ) have started each day with a sunbath?  You would think that with Miss Beans traveling alone like that in the desert every Wednesday, it  would be enough to get the Hawk's attention.  A hawk's talons are not sharp enough to cut through metal like that!  Did they really have to have a hoedown?  What was that big eye in the tunnel all about?  With his Gatling gun, there should have been  no reason for Rattlesnake Jake  to fear the Hawk because even if the Hawk were to snatch him he would still be able to shoot the bird down.  How was Rattlesnake Jake able to load/reload his Gatling gun?  A coughed-up bullet travelling underwater can't break glass at all.  The relative sizes of the desert creatures were overly exaggerated.

fyi:  This movie has the  best animation that I've ever seen in which  the characters' eyes are not only  very  expressive but they don't have a "blankness" or a "far-away look" to them at all ( exempting Miss Beans' "freeze frames", of course ).  And the way that they made the eyes look at someone or something was very "spot-on"!


This movie pays homage to the "Spaghetti"  Westerns of the 1960s,  DJANGO and the "Dollars" trilogy   come to mind.  But I would say that this movie, RANGO, has a better plot, better acting, better scenery  and better action scenes  than the movies that it pays homage to.

Back in the early 1900s when the Americans occupied the Philippines after they won the Spanish-American War, some Filipino rebels disguised themselves as women and participated in a town's parade that was attended by some American soldiers.  The rebels opened fire on the unsuspecting American soldiers and killed many of them.  In retaliation, the Americans returned with Gatling guns and "mowed down" every living thing in that town--men, women, children, and animals--none were spared.


word of advice:  "Blend in!"  Rock-Eye


tidbits:  I decided to see this movie a second time because I really liked it and because I missed the first few minutes of the movie on Saturday because of the long line at the concession stand at the Edwards Fairfield Cinemas.

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 39 min )

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where:  UA EMERY BAY STADIUM 10 in Emeryville, CA

when:  Friday, March 4th, 2011

show:  8:00 p.m.

costs:  $10.75 Ticket + $6.25 Nachos + $4.75 small Zero Sprite + $5.00 Carquinez Bridge Toll = $26.75

auditorium:  3

seat:  4th row, 10th column

synopsis/overview:  A man running for Senate, David Norris ( Matt Damon ),  comes across a beautiful dancer, Elise Sellas ( Emily Blunt ),  and is instantly smitten by her.  But the agents of Fate conspire to keep them apart to set them on their  predetermined paths to success and worldwide fame.  By sheer chance, David stumbles upon the agents as they do an "adjustment" on his life-long friend, Charlie Traynor ( Michael Kelly ).  As they confide in him the work that they do, they give David a choice:  Become the successful politician that they want him to be, but without Elise; or settle for a life of mediocrity with her.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Mug shot; 2.) College prank; 3.) Vacation; 4.) Poll results; 5.) Men's room; 6.) "Perfect amount of scuffing"; 7.) "You're bald"; 8.) "It's a belt"; 9.) Phone; 10.) Suspended animation; 11.) "Endless ripples of things"; 12.) "Why are you still thinking about running"; 13.) "I was about to spill my coffee"; 14.) "What the hell are you doing on my floor"; 15.) "I lost her number"; 16.) "You mean, lobotomize me"; 17.) Boat; 18.) "None of them are you"; 19.) "Three years later, I'm still cleaning your mess"; 20.) A kiss; 21.) "We're okay"; 22.) "I can't get a break"; 23.) Lost signal; 24.) Eatery; 25.)  Accident scene; 26.) Rehearsal; 27.) Remnants; 28.) Earlier versions; 29.) Thompson ( Terence Stamp ), The "Hammer"; 30.) Road trip to Washington, D.C.; 31.) "So, 'not really that serious"; 32.) The Daily Show; 33.) "Whatever happened to Free Will"; 34.) Elise's show; 35.) Hospital; 36.) "It's done"; 37.) Newspaper; 38.) Hats; 39.) Women's room; 40.) Intervention team; 41.) "This can't be wrong"; 42.) Roof; and 43.) Change of plan. 

audience reaction:  The audience liked this Romantic Psycho Sci-Fi movie.  And someone gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation:  I liked it, too.  But this is actually a "Chick Flick" that more than likely may appeal to those of you out there who are fans of the genre.

spoiler alert!  Didn't he say that his tie was a clip-on?  Why didn't Agent Harry Mitchell's ( Anthony Mackie ) "David playbook" show the hours when David was asleep so that Harry, himself, could  get some "shut-eye", too?  I detect a hint of racism here, implying that a black man will fall asleep on the job!  Harry knew where the bus was headed, so why didn't he use the "short-cuts" to catch up to it?  David is a famous bachelor politician courting a young woman out in broad daylight but  there is not a single National Enquirer tabloid paparazzo dogging him around.  Why do the agents read the newspaper for when they are the ones who manipulate current events and would logically know the next day's news beforehand?  I guess that one agent of Fate didn't see that left cross coming!  Damn them south-paws.  So, they're saying that a human can knock-out a spirit entity with a simple punch?  Ha, ha, ha.  Wait a minute ... I thought a person has to be physically in contact with a hatted person to walk through the portal; but Elise went through two such portals without a hand on David ( if I observed the said scenes correctly ).

fyi:  It is said that truly highly-advanced Yogis/Spiritually Enlightened Holy Men have no predetermined futures because they can change their fate at will.

word of advice:  Love and Fate go hand-in-hand.

tidbits:  After I got off work today, I headed straight for Oakland to visit Hector and his family.  And his kitten, Tiger, was there waiting to pounce on me.  I guess that he  wanted  to make a scratching post out of my left forearm, too!

Anyway, Hector told me that they've started  letting  tiger out of the house every now and then.  And one thing that Tiger did right away was to go to the backyard where his pit-bull puppy play-buddy, Two-Face, is kept.  But Two-Face's mother, Mercedes, is kept there, too.  Mercedes, a cat-hater, cornered Tiger, the kitten, and was about to bite him when Tiger gave her a bloody nose!  And Tiger isn't even three months old yet.  Like I said before, Tiger is gonna own that neighborhood once he's full-grown.  What a crazy kitten he is.