TAKERS, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 47 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Sunday, August 29th, 2010

show: 7:30 p.m.

costs: $9.75 Ticket + $4.00 small Diet/Zero Coke = $13.75

auditorium: 13

seat: 5th row, 8ht column

synopsis: Jack Welles ( Matt Dillon ), a worked-obsessed cop and Eddie Hatcher ( Jay Hernandez ), his bills-laden partner, go on the hunt for a team of professional bank robbers.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Botched bust; 2.) Bank robbery; 3.) Helicopter; 4.) The get-away; 5.) Free man; 6.) Proposal; 7.) Yacht harbor; 8.) Intruder; 9.) Unexpected guest; 10.) "We're takers; 11.) Disabled vehicle; 12.) C-4; 13.) Russians; 14.) Blood trail; 15.) Public works project; 16.) Pictures; 17.) "Peace out" gang sign; 18.) License number; 19.) "Sip from cup of instruction"; 20.) Interrogation; 21.) "Second time in two days"; 22.) Internal Affairs video; 23.) Officer on duty; 24.) Armored truck; 25.) Pershing Street; 26.) Foot chase; 27.) Kitchen; 28.) Roosevelt Hotel; 29.) Rival gang gun battle; 30.) Victim of execution; 31.) Gordon's apartment; 32.) Private jet; 33.) The stand-off; and 35.) "All signs point to it."

audience reaction: The audience seemed to be entertained by it.

recommendation: It's more or less your typical bank heist movie, but executed with style by male fashion model-wannabes who are being hunted down by a couple of good-looking cops, as well. If this is your "cup of tea", then go see it.

spoiler alert! Don't news reporters these days carry cellphones? Don't helicopters have tracking devices? Don't police helicopters patrol metropolitan areas? I wouldn't walk away casually if I were that close to an exploding helicopter! Couldn't he follow a simple blood trail without getting blind-sided? With all those bullets flying around during the intense shoot-out in a downtown metropolitan area, the director should have at least shown some fleeting images of buildings, or whatever, being hit because there would sure to be some collateral damage as a necessary result. In the foot chase, I found it hard to believe that Jesse ( Chris Brown ) could outrun the cop's sweeping gunshots. I don't know how Ghost ( Tip "T. I." Harris ) figured-out the combination to the secret safe ( or where to find it ) in such a short time.

fyi: My family had a cat, Coki, who died of cancer. I was trying to feed Coki some baby food when he passed away in my hands. I tried to close his eyes but couldn't. It sure isn't like in the movies where an actor's eyes can be closed easily after that actor's character "dies" on-screen.

word of advice: Never stray from your "tried and true" plan.

Even if you ride a bicycle, you are still not exempt from the rules of the road, i.e. don't go against the flow of traffic, don't ride on the sidewalk, don't run a red light, etc.

tidbits: Lucky triceps! At work today, a female co-worker walked-up to me and accidentally bumped her left breast against my right triceps. And at the concessions area beside the soda fountain, some girl accidentally bumped her right breast against my left triceps.

When Gordon's ( Idris Elba ) character got out of bed in his tight boxer shorts, some guy seated three chairs to my right made some sound of "admiration/appreciation" at the scene. No wonder his girlfriend ( ? ), seated two chairs to my right, accidentally bumped into me at the concessions area before the show--my triceps, alone, are manlier than her "boyfriend"! Yup ....

The guy seated immediately to my left noticed me taking notes in the dark. I usually sit close to the screen to avoid being noticed doing my movie note-taking. But I was just out of luck this time because many people, mostly teens and young adults, showed up for the movie.

At the end of the movie, the two guys to my left asked each other, "Who shot the cop?" I think that it was Ghost who did. But, to be honest, it all happened in "a blink of an eye" so I am inclined to ask the same question, too.

I went to the Chevron gas station on Redwood Street. I got there at around 9:44 p.m. and the lights were already off, and a clerk inside the building was already locking the front door. So, I was forced to do the unthinkable: I went to the Union 76 gas station down the next block for some gas. As I've said before, I only put Chevron gas in my cars. But I was running very low on gas--I didn't stop for gas before going to see this movie because I didn't want to be late for the show--and the next Chevron gas station is further down the road by at least two miles ( which is just two unnecessarily further miles away from my home route).

attention: It is getting closer and closer to the Annual Weblog Awards. Please select from all my posts for this year and take the time to nominate one of my blogs--whichever one happens to be your favorite--in the following categories: Best Entertainment Weblog, Most Humorous Weblog, Best-Kept Secret Weblog and/or Best New Weblog. Thank you.

THE LAST EXORCISM, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 28 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Friday, August 27th, 2010

show: 12:15 p.m.

costs: $6.25 Ticket + $4.25 junior Popcorn w/ Butter + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $6.49 McDonald's # 14 Angus Mushroom & Swiss Value Meal with Diet Coke ( w/ Dr. Pepper flavor ) = $20.99

auditorium: 7

seat: 5th row, 8ht column

synopsis: A preacher, Rev. Cotton Marcus ( Patrick Fabian ), has a guilty conscience about all the exorcism scams that he has pulled on unsuspecting folks for many years and has decided to come clean in a film-documented final exorcism.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Child preacher; 2.) "It's never boring"; 3.) Card trick; 4.) Banana bread; 5.) Exorcism book; 6.) Postal mail box; 7.) Fraud; 8.) "Thank you, Doctor"; 9.) Victor Turoy; 10.) Exorcism scams; 11.) Letter; 12.) Linen; 13.) Breeding ground; 14.) Caleb Sweetzer ( Caleb Landry Jones ); 15.) Farmer Louis Sweetzer ( Louis Herthum ); 16.) Nell Sweetzer ( Ashley Bell ); 17.) Grave; 18.) Nickel allergy; 19.) Threat; 20.) Pan of water; 21.) Abalam; 22.) "We have no problems now"; 23.) Tricks of the trade; 24.) Money; 25.) Prophecy; 26.) Health insurance; 27.) Motel room; 28.) Hospital; 29.) Pastor Manley ( Tony Bentley ); 30.) Knife attack; 31.) Note; 32.) Chain; 33.) Sleep walking; 34.) Recording; 35.) 'Phone message; 36.) Video camera; 37.) Pictures; 38.) Conversation; 39.) Earthly matters; 40.) Banging noise; 41.) Crucified pose; 42.) Attack; 43.) Shotgun; 44.) "No control over what happens to me"; 45.) Second exorcism; 46.) Shame; 47.) Confession; 48.) Logan Winters ( Logan Craig Reid ); 49.) Satanic symbols; and 50.) The gathering.

audience reaction: Lukewarm, at best.

recommendation: Wait for this to come out as a rental.

spoiler alert! The ending of this movie didn't make sense at all, and was quite a let-down. First, what was Rev. Manley's secretary doing? Have you seen the size of the hands and forearms of that fat woman? Hasn't she ever heard of "coat-hanger"-style abortions? What Rev. Manley did did not make sense. I mean, if he did what he did as an exorcist, it didn't make any sense. If he did what he did as a satanist, it didn't make any sense, too. What Caleb did did not make sense, also. Why did the camera--with its incriminating evidence--not get destroyed right there and then? Why did the bonfire crowd disappear right away? Even with the clear prophetic images of their possible impending demise still fresh in their minds, why didn't the trio just make a run for it? The crucifix should not have been used for exorcisms by the preacher in this movie because it was used not as an instrument of faith but, rather, as a tool for mockery of the faith ( he did it for money ) and because it had a graven image on it which made it a symbol of Idolatry ( In other words, the evil spirits and the demons would have the proverbial "last laugh". ), New Testament of the Bible, Matthew 7: 22 & 23.

If this were a porno movie, it would be one that has a very extended foreplay but which only ends in a premature ejaculation! That's about how disappointing this movie is to me, analogically speaking.

The two movie posters that I chose to post above are, each in its own right, scarier than the movie, itself--and neither one is in the movie 'though one scene which is similar to the poster on the left was shown.

fyi: I remember in Art class back at the long-defunct Pacific High School in San Leandro, California, when a classmate brought a copy of the magazine, National Lampoon. He showed it to some of us when the teacher was not around. It had a "Popeye" comic strip which took his trademark line, "Well, blow me down," and turned it to, "Well, give me a blow-job, Olive." They laughed at this. But I leaned over a classmate's shoulder and, with a puzzled look in my face, asked him, What's a blow-job? Then, they all laughed at poor, innocent immigrant me. Word spread like wildfire on campus the next day as some of my classmates came up to me and asked me, "You don't know what a blow-job is?" And with all those pretty girls there, not one was kind and hospitable enough to explain it to me "orally", in a manner of speaking. Where was Regina Hoover when I needed her. Ha, ha, ha.

AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY IT IS CALLED, "BLOW-JOB!" I mean, after all, it's not done as an imitation of an Electric Fan but as an imitation of a Vacuum Cleaner, right ...? I just can't come ( pun intended ) to terms with this curious slang.

What so-called "christians" ( intentionally spelled with a lower case, "c" ) fail to realize is that Jesus Christ actually commanded evil spirits and demons. Likewise, so did His Apostles and Disciples. If you're a "christian" who is too scared to go see horror movies and/or who sleeps with the lights on, how do you think you'll react if and when an evil spirit or demon appears before you?

There is no Scriptural basis for the kind of exorcisms that Catholics and Protestants use. Think about it, did Jesus Christ, His Apostles and their disciples use the crucifix, holy water and a bible ( tools of the trade in the bag of tricks of present-day "exorcists" ) when they performed their exorcisms ( Again, Matthew 7: 22 & 23 )? Such tools are nothing but spiritual crutches! And you don't need them if you walk in the Faith. All you need to perform an exorcism are unshakable Faith and ceremonial cleanliness. Go back to the Old Testament's Leviticus to find out what I mean by ceremonial cleanliness as it pertains to the priesthood ( This, by the way, is the reason why Jesus Christ's Apostles could not cast out one particular demon. Matthew 17: 16 - 21 ).

This brings to mind a televised "faith revival" ministry shown on PBS back in the mid- to late- '80s. A woman walked up to the podium and told the huge crowd that she tried meditation. But sometime afterward, she had encounters with other-worldly entities, including evil ones, so she stopped meditating and became a "born-again christian", out of fear. When I watched that, I actually laughed for a moment. Then, I stopped because I felt pity for that fearful woman. Imagine what would have happened had a demon manifested itself before that whole assembly--pandemonium would have ensued! Even the pastors would have panicked and ran away! And all because they'd be ignorant of the fact that a True Christian deals with evil spirits and demons as part of his "job's" description.

I've actually had scarier encounters with other-worldly entities than what are shown in this movie, including a "bend-me-back" one.

word of advice: Since we are all born of Sin, evil spirits and demons know our every thought and our every defense. Don't be so stupid as to think that you got such enemies all figured out because each succeeding encounter just gets deadlier than the one before it. Trust me, I know.

If all else fails, invoke the name of Jesus Christ ( this is the fail-safe Defense ). This works so well that I save it for last. Why? Because I like getting a few licks in first since, to me, it's major payback time for all those years of torment that they inflicted upon me.

If evil spirits and demons are out to get you and are always trying to kill you, take it as a compliment. Why? In the world of Spirits, there are only two sides: The Good side and the Evil side. So, if evil entities attack you it is only because you are on the side of Good! If you keep this in mind, you will be able to preserve both your sanity and your life during such unwanted encounters. Again ... trust me, I know.

Test the spirits. New Testament of the Bible, 1st JOHN 4: 1 - 4.

tidbits: I am glad that I didn't go to the midnight showing of this movie because it's not scary enough to warrant sacrificing a good night's sleep.

attention: It is getting close to the Annual Weblog Awards. Please select from all my posts for this year and take the time to nominate one of my blogs--whichever one is your favorite--in the following categories: Best Entertainment Weblog, Most Humorous Weblog, Best-Kept Secret Weblog, and/or Best New Weblog. Thank you.

PIRANHA 3D, R ( 1 hr & 29 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

show: 3:15 p.m.

costs: $10.75 Ticket + $5.25 small Popcorn w/ Butter + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $6.60 McDonald's # 3 Double Quarter Pounder w/ Cheese Meal ( w/ my Punch blend of Minute Maid Light Lemonade, Minute Maid Strawberry Passion and Hi-C Orange Lava Burst ) = $26.60

auditorium: 7, with the 3-D screen

seat: 5th row, 9th column

synopsis: It's spring break time at Lake Victoria where high school and college kids go for some serious sun and fun! But a prehistoric underwater menace has just been unleashed on the unsuspecting revelers.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Whirlpool; 2.) Spring break; 3.) Sand rat, Jake ( Steven R. McQueen ); 4.) Jake's bedroom; 5.) Body; 6.) Cliff diver; 7.) "$20.00 deception surcharge"; 8.) Skinny dippers; 9.) Subterranean lake; 10.) Scuba divers; 11.) Eggs; 12.) Feeding frenzy; 13.) "Gratitude is the right attitude"; 14.) Tequila time; 15.) Fossil; 16.) Para-glider; 17.) "My mom's the sheriff"; 18.) Wet Tee-Shirt contest; 19.) Emergency; 20.) Snagged propeller; 21.) Butt; 22.) Snapped cable; 23.) Motor boat; 24.) Caught hair; 25.) The glass bottom; 26.) "They took my penis"; 27.) Saline breast implants and the penis; 28.) Assorted victims; 29.) The rope to safety; 30.) Explosion; 31.) The bad news; and 32.) Bonus scene after the Ending Credits.

audience reaction: The audience seemed to like this Horror Comedy movie.

recommendation: This is a good enough horror movie. But I don't think that it will be the main reason why guys will go see this 3-D movie. Heh, heh, heh ....

spoiler alert! Somebody who flunked in College Biology probably came up with the idea for this horror movie.

First of all, if the piranhas lived in a subterranean lake for millions of years then, in the complete absence of light, they would all be without pigmentation and would also be blind. And they would have to rely mainly on their senses of smell, touch and hearing. Second, they cannot live for long in such an environment because they would be out of food soon enough. In the case of cannibalism, the strong prey on the young, the old, the weak, the sick, the dying and the dead. Eventually, the adults would have nothing left to cannibalize other than their eggs. But the adult piranhas would not be able to lay eggs forever and would get old and die. Then, the last batches of eggs that they would lay would eventually spawn, but not at the same time. So, the baby piranhas would cannibalize the eggs that have not spawned yet. And since the baby piranhas would still be too young to reproduce, they would all die-out of starvation. End of story.

Piranhas, although successful predators and scavengers, are limited to a geographical area in tropical South America because they are extremely sensitive to changes in temperature. In this movie, their subterranean environment is supposedly 30 degrees colder than that of Lake Victoria, itself. So, exposure to this rapid temperature change alone would have easily killed them off. Add to this the fact that their rapid ascent from the confines of their subterranean prison would have exposed them to an extreme shift in water pressure ( to which they had no built-in adaptation ) and made them succumb to the effects of decompression, the "bends", so to speak.

The badly mangled hand should not have been able to flex or extend because the ligaments and tendons would have been torn severely. There is nothing about a piranha's anatomy to suggest that it can rip a human eyeball clear out of its socket. The only way that the lone piranha could have homed-in on the little girl with a foot wound was through its sense of hearing, not its sense of smell because the water current didn't yet carry the blood scent to where it was. Also, the farther out that blood dissipates in water, the more dilute it gets. So, in a big body of water such as a lake, there is no way in the world that the piranha could have smelled the little girl's blood. An analogy to this would be this example: If you were standing at one end of a football field and downwind from another guy at the opposite end who let out a stinky fart, you would not be able to smell it at all! Why didn't the adult piranhas follow along with the little piranhas in the first place? The face of one girl whose hair was caught in the boat's propeller should not have been ripped off her head after the boat's engine started again. The wrong SFX was used for the underwater screams. Try and scream underwater to know what I mean. The girl whose body was pulled in half should have shown lots of blood and a torn torso before it happened. Derrick ( Jerry O'Connell ) should have died right away of extreme blood loss. Why did the saline breast implants remain intact? Why did a piranha regurgitate the penis; after all, "meat" is meat, right? And, to think, I thought Charlie Tuna was the only fish in the world with "good taste"! Why did all four of them dangle from the rope at the same time? I didn't know that walkie-talkies are waterproofed--or are they ...?

fyi: Steven R. McQueen is the grandson of Steve McQueen.

One of my friend's, Hector, son has a friend who put a piranha fish in the lake at Shadow Cliffs in Pleasanton, California, some years back. But, like I said, piranhas are extremely sensitive to changes in water temperature and that fish probably died of hypothermia eventually.

word of advice: You're in deep water if your feet cannot touch the bottom.

If you're standing in water up to your lips, don't fart! ( This is the Voice of Experience talking. )

tidbits: Before going to see this movie, I typed some complaint letters because a company in Illinois is billing me for something that I didn't order from them. I paid them for what I ordered from them. Then they sent me another package which I neither wanted nor ordered. When I e-mailed them about it ten months ago, they admitted to their error and promised to send me a return postage with a tracking number. But they never did. Instead, they kept sending me a monthly bill. The last straw was when they had a collection agency try to intimidate me into paying for something that I didn't order or risk damaging my excellent credit rating. So, I sent a letter to the company's credit department, its chairman, the collection agency, and the Better Business Bureau. The package remains untouched and unopened, and is just waiting for a return postage with a tracking number because I simply refuse to pay money for somebody else's mistake, irresponsibility and/or incompetence. Needless to say, after many years of doing business with said company, I told its chairman that I don't ever want to do business with them anymore! ( Maybe the chairman will offer me the conciliatory gesture of letting me be the co-chairman in charge of making coffee and getting the doughnuts--Hey! wait a minute .... That's a secretary's job. Damn! Oh, forget it. )

So, I went to Postal Annex to make copies of my complaint and to send out the letters via first class mail. When I returned to my car, which has no air conditioning, it was so hot inside the cab that I could not even hold the steering wheel for long. At one point, I had to turn left, and when the tires straightened out and caused the steering wheel to spin, the palm of my hands felt like they were being scalded by hot, boiling water! No wonder that in the old days people wore driving gloves! I decided not to go home right away. I went to the nearby theatre to see this movie so that I'd enjoy some cool comfort in an air-conditioned auditorium until the punishing heat of the sun lessened to a bearable point.

After the movie, it was still somewhat hot so I went to McDonald's for a bite to eat. Lucky for me, I found a parking spot under the shade of a nearby tree.

attention: It is getting close to the Annual Weblog Awards. Please take the time to nominate mine in the following categories: Best Entertainment, Most Humorous, Best-Kept Secret and Best New Weblogs. Just go through my entries for this year and pick out your favorite. Thank you.

THE SWITCH, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 41 min )

where: AMC BAY STREET 16 in Emeryville, CA

when: Monday, August 23rd, 2010

show: 9:10 p.m.

costs: $11:00 Ticket + $6.00 Nachos w/ Cheese ( w/ a Dollar-off coupon ) + $4.25 small Zero Coke + $5.00 Carquinez Bridge Toll = $26.25

auditorium: 3

seat: 4th row, 7th column

synopsis: At an "insemination" party for Kassie ( Jennifer Aniston ), a drunken Wally ( Jason Bateman ) does the unthinkable while in the bathroom. After seven years, memory of that fateful event comes back to him piece by piece and he must decide whether or not to tell Kassie the truth.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Weird man at the intersection; 2.) "What's wrong with my sperm"; 3.) Friend zone; 4.) Time-out; 5.) "This is how you burn fat"; 6.) Party invitation; 7.) Turkey baster; 8.) Prized hog, Roland ( Patrick Wilson ); 9.) Toast; 10.) Bathroom; 11.) Pregnant; 12.) Dinner date; 13.) 'Phone call; 14.) Restaurant; 15.) "Seed" guy; 16.) Cafe; 17.) Aquarium; 18.) Crazy people; 19.) Bus; 20.) Photo album; 21.) Viking's ingredients; 22.) Channel surfing; 23.) Precocious Sebastian's ( Thomas Robinson ) birthday party; 24.) Neebish Island, Upper Peninsula, Michigan; 25.) Curve ball; 26.) "Use my name as a verb"; 27.) Pictures; 28.) Kitchen; 29.) "Hi-jacked your pregnancy"; 30.) "Did the right thing"; 31.) "I've thought about it"; and 32.) Birthday party for a cause.

audience reaction: The audience, both men and women, enjoyed this movie.

recommendation: I liked this movie, too. This might make for a good "date" movie.

spoiler alert! What was that container of sperm doing in a place where any guy could just walk in and "contaminate" it? Was the container set on top of a potpourri/coffee mug warmer? If so, why ...? Wally should have been too much under the influence of drug and alcohol to be able to "perform".

fyi: Contrary to what a reviewer says, there are actually "insemination" parties going on. I first heard about it, many years ago, being done in San, Francisco, California, in the gay and lesbian communities: A lesbian couple would approach a gay guy friend and ask him to be the sperm donor--and, Yes! they use the "turkey baster" method. ( 'Sure makes for an interesting subject of conversation around the dinner table come Thanksgiving! ) I can just envision the "products" of such "couplings" walking around with a Tee-shirt that says, "My dad is a turkey baster." L. O. L.

Eating just plain rice with soy sauce, and nothing else, is done all the time in parts of Asia. I even know of this Chavacano ( Philippine Creole Spanish ) kid back in Davao City, Mindanao, Philippines, who would eat rice with soy sauce, but he'd add brown sugar to the mix, too.

Why do people here in the United States get so worked-up over head lice for? It is just a part of everyday life in tropical Asia. Heck, I had head lice when I was a kid--everyone I know did! But I took someone's advice and washed and shampooed my hair every day and that was the end of that.

In parts of the Philippines, you'd see women and children sitting on the staircase and combing lice eggs out of each other's hair and squashing lice with their thumbnails. Yuck! It is this particular type of scene which prompted the late US President Woodrow Wilson into making the comment that Filipinos were just a bunch of monkeys. He said this when he found out that his favorite niece was in love with an handsome Filipino actor ( 'don't know who--me, perhaps, in another life ).

The word, Cootie ( meaning, head and/or body louse ), comes from the Malay word, Kudu. In the Philippines, it is known as, Kuto.

I would have blogged about this movie two days ago, but blogspot.com was not working right. So, I couldn't do any blogging, 'much as I wanted to. Now, I'm back-logged!

word of advice: Play it safe and get it from someone you know and trust--No! I don't mean, Cooties; I mean, sperm. Ha, ha, ha.

tidbits: I was at my friend's, Hector, place in Oakland, California, earlier in the day to show him some conspiracy theory videos on YouTube. And he showed me a video of a Brazilian baby boy, in diapers, doing the Samba on top of a table--that baby can dance better than I can! L.O.L.

Later on, we watched the CENTURION on movie2k.com. It will show in movie theatres as a limited release this Friday, August 27th. We used the stream2k upload to watch it, and it didn't buffer even once. It's a good "slice and dice" movie with lots of blood-red, graphic slicing and dicing going on. I will have to watch it again because I wasn't really paying much attention to it and because I didn't have a notepad with me at the time. ( Ah ... the life of an internet movie reviewer. )

attention: It's getting close to the Annual Weblog Awards. Please take the time to nominate my blog in the following categories: Best Entertainment, Most Humorous, Best-Kept Secret and Best New Weblogs. Thank you.

STEP UP 3-D, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 37 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Thursday, August 19th, 2010
show: 4:55 p.m.
costs: $10.75 Ticket + $5.25 small Popcorn + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $6.49 McDonald's value meal # 13 Angus Third Pounder w/ Bacon & Cheese with a small fountain drink of Punch ( my own blend of Lemonade, Orange and Strawberry ) = $26.49
auditorium: 8, with the 3-D screen
seat: 6th row, 10th column

synopsis: Luke ( Rick Malambri ) is struggling to keep his parents' dance legacy alive and trying to make ends meet as he prepares for the hip-hop world finals. But his problems are compounded by someone who is leaking his team's secret dance moves to their rivals and by a new girl who may or may not have his best interests at heart.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) On-camera interviews with some dancers; 2.) Nike shoes; 3.) Street dance competition; 4.) House; 5.) Natalie ( Sharni Vinson ); 6.) Unfinished business; 7.) Nomad; 8.) Speaker room; 9.) Rehearsal; 10.) Neo-Flies; 11.) Footage; 12.) Best friends; 13.) Red Hook; 14.) Parents' legacy; 15.) Olsen twins; 16.) Culture vultures; 17.) Icee; 18.) GWAI; 19.) Leaked footage; 20.) Brother and sister; 21.) Choice; 22.) Born from a boom box; 23.) Public auction; 24.) Birthday bash; 25.) Surprise news; 26.) Missed date; 27.) Property seizure; 28.) Post card; 29.) "I won't dance"; 30.) Diner; 31.) New recruits; 32.) "I don't have a accent"; 33.) Traitor; 34.) World Jam Finals; 35.) "Go and live your dreams;" 36.) Double major; 37.) Train station; and 38.) Bonus scenes during the Ending Credits.

audience reaction: None, saved for mine. I was the only one in the audience.

recommendation: I liked this movie. If you're into the aggressive, acrobatic and provocative free-styling moves of Hip-Hop and/or Break-Dancing, this movie is definitely a "must-see" for you.

spoiler alert! How can they get any sleep with all that loud "rehearsal" music playing? As they stood on an air vent where the fan was blowing strong, a brown paper bag at their feet didn't get blown around or off into the air. How was Julien ( Joe Slaughter ) able to keep his "dance world" a secret from a close family member?

fyi: I wanted to see this last night at the AMC in Emeryville, CA. But I realized that it would cost me more to see it there. This is the reason why I went to see VAMPIRES SUCK last night, instead.

In the "I won't dance" scene, Moose ( Adam G. Sevani ), used someone's hat, and it is exactly like one of the hats that I own.

I loved the "Neo-Fly" studded costumes and the laser lights. And I also loved the scene with the cute little brats doing their flashy dance moves.

I was in Los Angeles, CA, years ago with some of my classmates in acting class. We went there in the hope of being "discovered" at a party attended by some casting agents and talent scouts. Anyway, one of my classmates had a passing facial resemblance to Morgan Fairchild. I danced with her in front of the agents' and scouts' tables. Then, she whispered to me that I should do my Break-Dance. I did a bit of it and got down on the floor to do a legs tucked-in spin as she clapped her hands and voiced her approval, all in an effort to attract attention to us. But I really didn't have any room to extend my legs so that I could spin around more impressively because all the other " hopefuls" were dancing close to the agents' and scouts' tables, too! In short, I failed to impress anyone and got nothing for my trouble other than a serious case of pure embarrassment.

I can't do any of those basic Break-Dance moves anymore because of my joint injuries and because I'm just too heavy now. But looking at all the slim and athletic dancers in this movie may have just inspired me into going back to my once-skinny self since skinny people do look better at dancing.

word of advice: Follow your dream.

tidbits: After the movie, and after eating at McDonald's Restaurant, I went to CVS Drugstore to buy a Futuro Adjustable Wrist Brace for $7.58 because I strained my right wrist at work two days ago.

NANNY MCPHEE RETURNS, PG ( 1 hr & 49 min )

where: MOVIE2K.COMwhen: Saturday, July 17th, 2010show: 8:57 p.m.costs: $0.00 downloadauditorium: My living roomseat: My swivel chair

synopsis: In desperation, a young harried mother, Isabel Green ( Maggie Gyllenhaal ), who is at her wits' end trying to save the family farm while raising her children all alone as well as caring for her brother's spoiled from-the-city children, calls out the name of Nanny McPhee ( Emma Thompson ). Nanny McPhee arrives at her door, assesses the situation, and decides to help.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) Bundle of letters; 2.) City-dwelling bratty cousins; 3.) Scratch-O-Matic; 4.) Pesky brother-in-law ( Rhys Ifans ); 5.) I.O.U.; 6.) Land of Poo; 7.) New clothes; 8.) Voices; 9.) Jam; 10.) Enter, the Nanny; 11.) Freeze frame; 12.) Restored; 13.) The Five Lessons; 14.) Sleeping arrangements; 15.) Prowler; 16.) Piglets; 17.) Bugle call; 18.) Gas mask; 19.) Missing piglets; 20.) Enchanted pigs; 21.) Like magic; 22.) The pumps; 23.) Trade; 24.) Memories; 25.) Picnic; 26.) Telegram; 27.) "I just know"; 28.) London; 29.) War Office; 30.) Delay tactics; 31.) M.I.A.; 32.) The sneeze; 33.) Forgery; 34.) The harvest; and 35.) Bonus scene after the Ending Credits.
audience reaction: N/A. It was just me, myself and I watching this movie.
recommendation: This is strictly for folks with little brats who are old enough to go see a movie with their parents. Who knows, maybe the five new lessons will work on them, too.
spoiler alert! Nanny McPhee's "If you need me but don't want me, I'll stay" line works both ways since she needs the little brats for her beauty treatments--whatever it is that she does to get herself all ugly in the first place, she'd better stop doing it! It was fun to see the cute little piglets doing all sorts of crazy moves, but I ended up with a craving for ham, pork chops, baby back ribs, chicharon ( deep-fried pork rinds ) and bacon--I think that these are the names of the piglets, too! L.O.L. But, seriously folks, why did the farmer buy the piglets in the first place for, huh ...? When Nanny McPhee drove by the statue, the shot was done in "mirror image" fashion. There isn't much of a difference between this and the first movie.
fyi: I liked the cute little black bird.

On movie2k.com, the title of this movie was, NANNY MCPHEE AND THE BIG BANG. I guess that this is in reference to the big bomb that was accidentally dropped in the middle of the field which didn't explode, by the way. This is probably why the title was changed back recently to NANNY MCPHEE RETURNS. And even NANNY MCPHEE AND THE BIG BOMB would not have made for a suitable title to this movie.

Pigs are actually smarter than dogs and can be easily trained to do what dogs are trained to do.

It's simply amazing how a little plastic surgery--done right--can improve one's face. Check out the real-life "Nanny McPhee" before-and-after photos of Megan Fox! L.O.L.
word of advice: Family is more important than money.
tidbits: I will have to see this again on the Big Screen just to gauge the audience reaction.

Chicharon recipe:

In a pot of boiling water, add pork belly rinds ( w/ fat & meat attached--but not too much meat ), pieces of bay leaves, sliced onions, chopped garlic, salt, pepper and M.S.G. ( Accent or Vetsin ). Boil for a few minutes then simmer it until it's tender. Then, dry it out in the sun or in a dehydrator. If you will be using the sun-dry method, place the pieces on a rack and cover it with a wire mesh food cover to keep the flies and birds away. If you will be using the dehydrator method, put a deep tray under it to catch all the oil drippings or you'll end-up with lots of oil spread all over your counter top like what happened with me.

After the pork rind pieces are dried, put them in a pot of boiling oil and lower the heat to medium low. Once the pieces float on top, sprinkle them with ice cold water to make them puff-up even more. Be careful with the deep frying and sprinkling or you'll end-up with hot oil splashed all over your self.

Strain the golden-browned pieces in a colander. Then, put them on a paper towel-lined plate to soak away more of the fat. Let it cool and enjoy the "meat" of your labor. I usually eat mine with lots of rice and a simple dip made of vinegar, pressed garlic and black pepper. Hmm, hmm, hmm--Yummy. Pig-out time!

( Note: Vinegar dissolves fat. Garlic is a blood thinner and a cholesterol buster. And pepper [ the hotter, the better ] is a blood vessel dilator. So a dip made of these ingredients makes for a perfect accompaniment to any high fat, high cholesterol dish such as Chicharon. )

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 53 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Sunday, August 15th, 2010
show: 1:50 p.m.
costs: $7.50 Ticket + $5.00 Kid's Pack + $6.38 # 2 Meal at the Plaza Drive Wendy's ( & a side salad w/ ranch dressing & light lemonade ) = $18.88
auditorium: 2
seat: 4th row, 9th column

synopsis: Scott Pilgrim ( Michael Cera ), the bass guitarist for a rock band, ever-looking for that one girl, finally finds her in the roller-skating guise of Ramona Flowers ( Mary Elizabeth Winstead ). But, the problem is that she comes with excess baggage in the form of seven evil exes. And each and everyone of them is out to get Scott!

noteworthy scenes: 1.) High school date; 2.) Rehearsal; 3.) Arcade; 4.) Goodwill's Thrift Store; 5.) Record store; 6.) Party; 7.) "He's not even conscious"; 8.) E-mail; 9.) Package delivery; 10.) Playground; 11.) "One night stand"; 12.) Awkward; 13.) First fight; 14.) Break-up; 15.) Stunt team; 16.) Grind; 17.) "L" word; 18.) "He just left"; 19.) Coffee shop; 20.) "I've gotta pee on her"; 21.) "Punched the highlight out of her hair"; 22.) Vegan; 23.) Vegan Police; 24.) "I'd just like to live"; 25.) "Back of the knee"; 26.) Amp vs. amp; 27.) "I'm in lesbian with you"; 28.) "Turn off the light"; 29.) Hot cocoa; 30.) Shoe lace; 31.) Game over; 32.) Self respect; 33.) "Seven years in my digestive tract"; and 34.) Try again.

audience reaction: The audience totally enjoyed this movie.

recommendation: I liked this nonsensical movie. If you're into video games, go see this movie.

spoiler alert! Right off the bat, my nagging question is, If the evil exes don't want any rival suitors vying with them for Ramona's heart, why didn't they already try and kill each other in the first place? And am I to understand that falling in love with Ramona or being jealous/envious of her makes one attain super martial arts powers? I thought that they would get frost-bitten when they held the chains as they sat on the playground swings. With all the loose change littering the smooth floor, I really thought that the combatants would slip and slide on them. Why didn't Scott turn into token coins? I really think that Knives Chau ( Ellen Wong ) will make for a better choice for Scott--after the "waiting period" is over, of course.

fyi: I have this co-worker who, after he graduated from high school, dated high school girls so that he could go to his former high school's senior prom for the next four or five years in a row until he met someone with whom he fell in love and eventually got married to. We used to tease him about that.

I have a confession to make: Although I liked this movie, some of the scenes just "went over my head" because I truly don't know any arcade game. Yes, I'm a video game virgin. I've never played such games--'don't see any point to it at all--and never will. And That is the end of that! Thank you.

word of advice: Don't be a heart-breaker.

tidbits: On my way to the theatre, there on the off-ramp, I saw the ran-over body of a poor little orange tabby kitten! It obviously was an abandoned kitten since there are no residential areas for about a mile all around that spot in the road. I'm a cat person, so it broke my heart to have to see that.

After the movie, I really wanted to go to Burger King, but I try and avoid the two Burger Kings in Vallejo ( bad experiences at both establishments ). And the next two closest ones are in Benicia. But either one is too far of a distance just to go have a bite to eat. So, I decided to just eat at Wendy's just across the street from the theatre.

THE EXPENDABLES, R ( 1 hr & 43 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Friday, August 13th, 2010
show: 9:10 p.m.
costs: $10.00 Ticket + $4.50 20 oz. Orange Fanta = $14.50
auditorium: 3
seat: 3rd row, 6th column

synopsis: Barney Ross ( Sylvester Stallone ) is given a mission to go to the South American island country of Vilena to overthrow its dictator, General Gaza ( David Zayas ). Along with his pal, Lee Christmas ( Jason Statham ), and their local guerrilla contact, Sandra ( Giselle Itie ), they scope out the place. But they abandon their mission once it is compromised. But not one to leave a mission undone or leave a comrade behind, Barney will need to solicit the help of his old mercenary crew to finish the job.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Pirated ship; 2.) Hostage rescue; 3.) Girlfriend trouble; 4.) Charlotte's web; 5.) Executions; 6.) Church; 7.) "What's wrong with this picture"; 8.) Buddha/Pest; 9.) Confrontation; 10.) Chase; 11.) Strafe; 12.) Lovers' quarrel; 13.) Rogue ex-CIA agent, James Munroe ( Eric Roberts ); 14.) Basketball court; 15.) Bosnia memory; 16.) Water torture; 17.) "I work harder"; 18.) Ambush; 19.) Happy feet; 20.) Low clearance; 21.) Loyal warriors; 22.) Prison cell; 23.) American disease; 24.) Battle; 25.) "Call it a tie"; 26.) "Truthfully ..."; and 27.) Back together again.

audience reaction: The audience enjoyed this.

recommendation: I liked this, too. But, in my opinion, the climactic battle in the last RAMBO movie is much better than the climactic battle in this one.

spoiler alert! Why did the pirates not post look-outs to watch the ship's perimeter? You would think that some of those bullets would ricochet down in the ship's cargo bay. Why did the soldiers just stand around when they were getting strafed? If Munroe is an ex-CIA agent and, therefore, acting independently of "The Agency" then he has very little muscle ( read: small private army ) to intimidate General Gaza and his considerably larger army, one would think. When The Expendables stepped out the door and had the spotlights blind them, why didn't the soldiers shoot at them? In the knock-down, drag-out, rough-and-tumble, no-holds-barred, fight-to-the-death between Toll Road ( Randy Couture ) and Paine ( "Stone Cold" Steve Austin ), Toll's jungle hat never came off or became askew. Why didn't Paine not roll around on the ground to put out the fire?

fyi: In Sylvester Stallone's movie, DEMOLITION MAN ( 1993 ), he awakens from suspended animation to find out that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the President of the United States. Meanwhile, Maria Shriver is still trying to pass a bill that would allow foreign born citizens to run for the Presidency. Does Sly know something that we don't know?

Also, in DEMOLITION MAN, the role of the leading lady is played by Sandra Bullock. And in this movie, THE EXPENDABLES, the leading lady goes by the character name of, Sandra. 'Makes me wonder ....

word of advice: Don't betray your comrades-in-arms.

tidbits: In the scene wherein the general's men are shown with painted faces, someone towards the back of the auditorium yelled, "Shut the f_ck-up!" at a noisy patron, which made some of us in the audience laugh.

Sylvester, "Sly", Stallone doesn't look good with a beard in this movie. It, coupled with the hint of eyeliner put on him, makes him look comical and effeminate.

VAMPIRES SUCK, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 28 min )

1st time

where: MOVIE2K.COM
when: Wednesday, August 11th, 2010
show: 11:00 p.m.
costs: $0.00 Download
auditorium: My living room
seat: My swivel chair

2nd time

where: AMC BAY STREET 16 in Emeryville, CA
when: Wednesday ( Free Small Popcorn on a Movie Rewards Card Day ), August 18th, 2010
show: 7:55 p.m.
costs: $11.00 Ticket + $1.00 medium upgrade on a free small popcorn + $4.75 medium Zero Coke + $5.00 Carquinez Bridge Toll = $21.75
auditorium: 10
seat: 5th row, 10th column

synopsis: In this spoof of the THE TWILIGHT SAGA's first two installments, Becca ( Jenn Proske ) finds herself as the new girl in town and as the object of desire by a pair of guys who are members of two otherworldly rival factions. Events come to a head at the senior prom.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Saint Salvatore Day Festival; 2.) Roadside attack; 3.) Dad's comment [ 'Makes one think .... ]; 4.) Town of Sporks [ Now, why didn't I think of this first! ]; 5.) Becca's room [ Funny one. ]; 6.) Becca, Jacob ( Chris Riggi ) and their fathers; 7.) New school; 8.) Cafeteria; 9.) Classroom; 10.) Boat shed; 11.) Parking lot; 12.) "Like my little gay brother"; 13.) Self-defense tips [ Hilarious. ]; 14.) Dreaming; 15.) Blood drive [ Here's another one that I should have thought of first! ]; 16.) Plan for the prom; 17.) In the woods with Edward ( Matt Lanter ); 18.) Making-out; 19.) Immigrants; 20.) Sullens' birthday surprise for Becca; 21.) Chinese food; 22.) Segway; 23.) Buffy, the vampire slayer [ Nice touch. ]; 24.) Venom; 25.) Pining for Edward; 26.)Bull-horn [ Funny. ]; 27.) Hanging out with Jennifer; 28.) Bar Mitzvah; 29.) Bike ride; 30.) Teats [ This scene actually makes sense! ]; 31.) Chihuahua [ Cute one! ]; 32.) The pack; 33.) Autograph; 34.) "Girl as freaky as me"; 35.) The contract [ Yeah, really! ]; 36.) Misinterpreted bad news; 37.) Race against time; 38.) At the prom; 39.) Wrinkly old butt; 40.) Dance; 41.) New prom king & queen; 42.) Xs mark the spot; 43.) Surprise ending [ Heh, heh, heh .... ]; and 44.) Bonus scene at the start of the Ending Credits.

audience reaction: N/A--It was just me, myself and I watching this movie.

2nd audience reaction: The audience was genuinely entertained by this movie.

recommendation: I liked how this parody film highlights the shortcomings of the first two Twilight movies, and how it added stuff which made a lot of sense, considering the supernatural aspect of the story, itself. In short, if you're not a Twilight fan, well, then, this movie is for you!

spoiler alert! They should have rushed this off to theatres before THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE came out.

fyi: The movie2k.com version is short by about 10 minutes, so I will have to watch this again on the big screen to find out if anything is shown during and after the Ending Credits. And also because I need to find out how a typical movie audience will react to this parody film.

word of advice: Life is a Bitch and it Sucks--but not in the way that you can brag about it to anyone and everyone!

tidbits: I was at my friend Hector's place earlier today. And he, his wife and I sat down to watch THE INFIDEL on movie2k.com. That was when I realized that this movie, VAMPIRES SUCK, was already uploaded on the site and ready for viewing. So I decided to see it as soon as I got home. Oh, we also watched DESPICABLE ME while I was at his place.

'Something I forgot to tell you all about movie2k.com .... First, you need to install the Mozilla Firefox web browser in your computer. Then, use the Firefox browser to search for DownloadHelper ( which is owned by Firefox, by the way ). After you find DownloadHelper, install it in your computer, too. After you've done these two things, you should be able to watch free movies on movie2k.com--provided, of course, that you have a fast Internet connection.

2nd tidbits: I was at my friend Hector's place earlier in the day because I needed his son, Ismael, to help me print out my e-mail correspondence with an out-of-state company that sent me a duplicate order of something which I ordered, and never sent me a return postage with a tracking number so that I could send the duplicate order back to them. Instead, they just kept sending me a bill month after month. And I'll be damned if I pay for anyone's mistake! They've now hired the services of a collection agency to try and get me to pay-up on something which I didn't order. But I have e-mail proof that they acknowledged their error and promised to send me a return postage with a tracking number. And I also have my checking account statement from my bank which shows that I paid for what I had ordered. With my proofs, I will send a letter to the company president, the collection agency, the Better Business Bureau, and maybe even to Consumer Affairs and both State Attorneys General. If the company's customer service treats me, an 8-year plus customer in good standing, like this then I no longer wish to do business with said company. ( If you must know, the company is none other than Nightingale-Conant. )

We also watched ONG BAK 3 on movie2k.com. I saw ONG BAK 2 last year in Berkeley, California. He died in part 2! So, I don't know how and why he came back from the dead! And it didn't help matters much that the English subtitles were poorly written. They should have hired the services of Cine-Man to do the subtitles for them.

During the preview for PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2, some girls in the audience sounded scared. Hmph! women ....

MIDDLE MEN, R ( 1 hr & 51 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Monday, August 9th, 2010
show: 5:05 p.m.
costs: $7.50 Ticket + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $1.00 2.23 oz. Emerald Trail Mix, Tropical Blend ( bought at CVS Drugstore and smuggled-in ) + $1.00 1.2 oz. Jack Link's All American Beef & Cheese ( also bought at CVS blah, blah, blah ... ) = $13.50
auditorium: 10
seat: 4th row, 8th column

synopsis: The "based on a true story" movie about the "founding fathers" of Internet Porn.

Jack Harris ( Luke Wilson ), a "problem solver", goes to L.A. to help out a friend. Before he knows it, he helps to deliver Internet Porn to the rest of the world. At first convinced that he can handle the business end of porn without any negative effect on his family life, he soon realizes that he is in way over his head as his life descends down the slimy trail of sleaze porn.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Porn montage; 2.) Pepper; 3.) NASA; 4.) Veterinary office; 5.) Problem solver; 6.) Building permit; 7.) 15 minutes; 8.) Subscribers; 9.) Bells and whistles; 10.) Fresh stuff; 11.) Russian mob; 12.) Video; 13.) Server; 14.) Other problem; 15.) Legal advice; 16.) Sites with nondescript names; 17.) Dead Russian; 18.) Flashback; 19.) Internet billing service; 20.) Stand-off; 21.) Two million dollar check; 22.) New building; 23.) Bigger egos; 24.) AVN Awards, 2003; 25.) Rich and somebody's bitch; 26.) Old familiar face; 27.) Secret deal; 28.) Oldest story in the book; 29.) Addiction to money, sex and power; 30.) Post-orgasm silence; 31.) Race track; 32.) The lawyer; 33.) Chump change; 34.) Terrorist fans; 35.) Illegal porn; 36.) Kinky terrorists; 37.) "They simply forgot"; 38.) Problem son; 39.) Billing record; 40.) Bad news; 41.) Orgy house; 42.) The break-up; 43.) Government warning; 44.) Father/son talk; 45.) Contract back-date; 46.) Correctional facility; and 47.) Reconciliation.

audience reaction: There were just a few people in the audience--all men. And it seemed like I was the only one getting the jokes and enjoying myself---Hey! not in that way.

recommendation: Although informative and of special interest to those who want to know the history of Internet Porn, this is strictly a rental, the way porn ought to be.

spoiler alert! This is supposedly "based on a true story" so it's hard to tell fact from fiction. With that in mind, first, I wouldn't go into a partnership with mobsters. Second, I wouldn't go into a partnership with people strung-out on drugs ( because they have to "feed" that habit ). Third, I wouldn't hire the services of a lawyer who's under government investigation. Fourth, I would never get myself into a relationship with a porn star/prostitute. And, fifth, I wouldn't throw money around like there's no tomorrow. I don't know if the "dead Russian mobster and the dead lawyer situations" are true or not. But, more than likely, they aren't; otherwise, they wouldn't be included in the movie for all the world to see ( just think about the repercussions, legal and otherwise ).

fyi: I love how the government figured-out how to track down terrorists!

I remember back in 1995 when I was working as a dental lab technician and all the guys at work, it seemed, were getting caught-up in the Internet craze. A couple of them even brought their laptop user's manual to read during break periods--and they were thick books! Mind you, this was back when everything was plain ol' "Dial-Up" service. And you could use your TV set as a monitor ( Can a TV set still be used in such a way today? ). At one point, one of my co-workers told me that, to get on the Internet, you had to wait about half an hour for your computer to load-up--and you'd better hope and pray that nobody will call you on the telephone or you'd have to start all over again! Ah ... the good old days.

There's all this talk about Illegal Porn on the Internet. But you have to ask yourself this: Why don't Google, Yahoo and all the others delete such stuff and report the scumbags to the authorities? The answer is, It's all there for a reason--IT'S A TRAP!!!!!!!

word of advice: Don't buy internet porn! Otherwise, you'd become the unwitting/ unwilling victim of a "victimless crime", or end up in jail, and/or suffer the same fate as the terrorists in this movie ( Ha, ha, ha )!

Money and prostitutes have one thing in common: They have no loyalty.

tidbits: My movie watching pleasure was interrupted by a dumb-ass rude idiot who talked on his cellphone sometime during the movie. If I didn't have to write down movie notes, I would have reported him to the management. Why can't Century Cinemas have a Volunteer Monitor in place like they do at Regal Cinemas?

At Regal Cinemas, any responsible adult movie-goer can choose to be a volunteer monitor and take a paging device with him/her into the auditorium. And if anything is disrupting the movie-watching experience, the monitor can alert the management right away who will then come in to address the problem.

THE OTHER GUYS, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 47 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Friday, August 6th, 2010
show: 12:01 a.m. ( Midnight Show )
costs: $10.00 Ticket = $10.00
auditorium: 1
seat: 5th row, 4th seat

synopsis: Two pencil-pushing NYPD detectives, Gamble and Hoitz ( Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg ), investigating a "scaffolding permit violation", stumble upon what may just be the biggest crime committed in New York City.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Car chase; 2.) Press conference; 3.) Police precinct; 4.) School of 800-pound tunas; 5.) Counseling; 6.) Desk pop; 7.) Wrecking ball; 8.) The Jump; 9.) Cop fight; 10.) Kidnap; 11.) Toyota Prius; 12.) Crime scene; 13.) Ershon's ( Steve Coogan ) lecture; 14.) Scaffolding permit; 15.) Abduction; 16.) Barefoot; 17.) Police Captain Gene Mauch's ( Michael Keaton ) office; 18.) Hot Wife, Sheila ( Eva Mendes ); 19.) Ex-girlfriend, Christinith's ( Natalie Zea ), house; 20.) Recorded message; 21.) Bar; 22.) Ballet studio; 23.) Sarcastic dancer; 24.) F.B.I.; 25.) Explosion; 26.) College pimp; 27.) Ershon's office; 28.) The bribes; 29.) Ambush; 30.) Freight train; 31.) Whistles; 32.) Dinner conversation; 33.) Dirty Mike ( Adam Mckay ) and The Boys; 34.) Drinking spree; 35.) S.E.C. office; 36.) Jumper; 37.) "Gator needs his gun ..."; 38.) Bed, Bath and Beyond; 39.) Lendl Global; 40.) The hide-out; 41.) Mother-in-Law ( Viola Harris ); 42.) High-speed chase; 43.) Classroom; 44.) Used car lot; 45.) Golf course; 46.) Wire transfer; 47.) Peacock; and 48.) Bonus scene after the Ending Credits.

audience reaction: The audience loved this parody "Buddy-Cop" Action Flick.

recommendation: I enjoyed this movie, too. Go see it if you're into Comedy and Action Films.

spoiler alert! The front of the car was hit, but I didn't see any steam shooting out from the radiator. If I were the bad guy shooter, I'd keep shooting at the windshield area because there is no way a cop can chase down a get-away car without looking through his windshield. Reckless endangerment of commuters, pedestrians and bus passengers abounded in the opening scene of this movie but at the press conference all that was mentioned was the 12 million dollars' worth of property damage! What about lawsuits? What about suspension and/or job termination? Okay, so we have a car covered in cocaine parked on top of a crime/murder victim--sounds like "Tampering with Evidence" to me! He thinks his wife is plain--is he nuts? When the SUV front-ended the Prius, the airbags didn't get activated. In the office shoot-out, all the bad guys were just standing around. With all the bullets flying around them, Gamble and Hoitz still managed to walk away unscathed. Why didn't the bad guys on stake-out not notice anything suspicious about Li'l Ol' Granny walking back and forth? How did the Prius end-up on the trailer in the used car lot? Just like Hoitz, I don't know the reason for Gamble's sex appeal. Will Ferrell plays like a "one-note" song: Monotonously boring; his approach to almost all of his comedy films is essentially the same. Granted, this movie has some laugh-out-loud scenes, but they were not all with Ferrell as the central character. He needs to broaden his comedic range.

fyi: I loved "The Jump", the Classroom and the Golf Course scenes.

Toyota should change its slogan to: " The best new cars make the worst recall cars."

People in the Philippines have been drinking citrus-flavored tea for as long as I can remember! Arnold Palmer doesn't really deserve the credit for this beverage concoction. Why don't they just call it, Flip ( the derogatory short for, Filipino ) Tea? Wait a minute, I believe that I just answered this question myself! What was I thinking ...?

word of advice: Watch the Ending Credits for the charts and notes on Ponzi Schemes and Bail-outs.

tidbits: I managed to switch schedules with someone at work so that I was able to leave at 10:30 p.m. and still have plenty of time to catch the midnight show. But not before swinging by the Burger King Restaurant at the Southampton Shopping Center in Benicia to grab a bite to eat. I ate my burger and fries right there in the darkened parking lot, along with a big piece of raw garlic ( I bought a bulb of garlic after clocking-out at work because I have an abscessed gum in the right molar area of my lower jaw and I needed something stronger than Listerine to kill the germs back in there between my cheek and teeth ). I usually can chew up to half a bulb of raw garlic whenever I am eating a lot of meat with no bad reaction whatsoever. But, tonight, even half a piece of the garlic was almost too much for me as it gave me a painful burning sensation in the affected/infected gum area and forced me to shed some tears, too! I had to "man-up" just to finish that one, single, solitary, lonely piece of garlic. Boy! that garlic sure helped to alleviate my condition--but I have until next Tuesday morning before I can be seen by my periodontist again. I hope that I can wait that long.

I swear, after I see my periodontist, I shall employ a more aggressive, pro-active approach to my oral hygiene.

newsflash! My DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS blog last Friday was posted the following day on a famous British comedian's fan club website: David Walliams News Newspage. David Walliams plays the part of the Swiss client, Mueller, in the movie. To be truthful, I never even heard of him before; and as I was watching his scenes in the movie, I was convincing myself that I was actually looking at a slimmed-down, face-lifted Val Kilmer sporting bleached-blond hair. Ha, ha, ha. Anyway, he is famous "across the pond" for his comedy show, LITTLE BRITAIN. You can watch segments of it on YouTube. HBO also has him in the American version: LITTLE BRITAIN USA, the British parody of anything and everything American. Of the British version, I like the Lou & Andy sketches. Of the American version, I like the Mark & Tom sketches. If you've never seen LITTLE BRITAIN, you've got to go to YouTube and check it out!

I should thank you, David Walliams and your fan club, for posting my blog on your website. So, my heart-felt "Thank You" goes out to you! If you are ever in need of fresh ideas for your Comedy Sketches, just let me know by following my blog so that we can e-mail each other. ( The same goes for you, too, Nicolas Cage. )