FANTASTIC MR. FOX, PG ( 1 hr & 27 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Monday, November 30th, 2009
show: 9:50 p.m.
costs: $9.50 Ticket + $11.03 ( + $1.02 tip ) INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PANCAKES' ( IHOP ) Ultimate Bacon, Eggs & Sausage Combo w/ Pumpkin Pancakes ( topped w/ whipped cream & butter pecan syrup ) = $21.55
auditorium: 6
seat: 2nd row, 7th column

synopsis: A bored fox, tired of the domestic life, reverts to his former chicken-stealing ways. And in so doing endanger himself, his family and the rest of the animal community as a trio of farmers hunt down Mr. Fox at whatever cost.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The squab farm; 2.) The promise; 3.) Boggis, Bunce and Bean; 4.) Cousin Kristofferson; 5.) Existentialism; 6.) Master plan; 7.) Boggis' chicken farm; 8.) Bunce's smokehouse; 9.) Whack bat; 10.) Bean's cider cellar; 11.) Rat security; 12.) Emergency meeting; 13.) Fox tail; 14.) Escape; 15.) Siege; 16.) The other animals; 17.) Bad song; 18.) Fire hose; 19.) Flint mine; 20.) Rat versus Fox; 21.) The rescue; 22.) Trade mark; 23.) Rabid beagle; 24.) The wolf; and 25.) The supermarket.

audience reaction: The teens and young adults who were the only ones with me in the auditorium seemed to enjoy this claymation movie .

recommendation: Although kids will mostly enjoy the simple charm of this movie, it's more suited for adults.

spoiler alert! I could draw-up a list of all the illogical things about this movie, but that would just defeat the movie's creative reason for being since it's a fantasy story about a fantastic fox. But I do have an issue with the ending: The message seems to be that it's okay to steal--or shoplift--so long as you don't get caught. And I don't like this message since I, Cine-Man, am also Retail Guy!

fyi: One time years ago in Oakland, CA I was put in charge of ordering for the food department at the drug store where I worked at. One particular week, we had a great sale on gallon-size apple juice, the kind that comes in a glass jug ( I can't remember what brand ). We soon ran out of apple juice and the store had to issue lots of rainchecks. I ordered double the quantity in a hurry, then I mailed-out the rainchecks. When the shipload arrived two days later, the assistant manager called me to the warehouse and showed me the pallets upon pallets of what I had ordered: Apple CIDER, not apple juice! And he asked me what I was going to do about it. And I said, I think I'll take my lunch break now. Then I walked away. The assistant manager and the warehouse man burst out laughing! Ah ... the good old days.

Just for the Holidays, IHOP is featuring four new kinds of pancakes in the menu: Pumpkin, Eggnog, Gingerbread, and I can't remember the last one.

word of advice: Don't be selfish, inconsiderate and/or irresponsible. Don't break a promise.

"Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's property."

"Thou shall not steal."

"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

tidbits: I was gonna eat at MacDonald's before the movie, but I already had a MacDonald's burger a couple nights ago. So, I thought of eating at the Wendy's Restaurant across the street from the cinema. Then I remembered that there's an IHOP across the lot from it. So I decided to eat at IHOP instead.

As I sat at my table waiting for my meal, a couple of white teenage boys came in and were seated at the table next to mine--and the one behind me reeked of marijuana so much ( Dear Lord! ), enough so that even Bill Clinton, himself, would admit to being guilty of inhaling had he been there with me! I read somewhere that marijuana stimulates one's appetite, and this kid sure had a voracious one. But I noticed that his friend only ate half of his crepes and drank only half of his shake--probably the designated driver.

One of the effects of inhaling marijuana is a reduction in short-term memory. Now, if I can only remember what I'm suppose to write next .... Huh? Something about a pancake, I think ....

RED CLIFF, R ( 2 hr & 28 min )

where: LANDMARK'S SHATTUCK CINEMAS in Berkeley, CA
when: Saturday, November 28th, 2009
show: 4:45 p.m.
costs: $5.59 MacDonald's Quarter Pounder w/ Cheese meal ( before the show ) + $8.00 Ticket + $4.00 small Diet Coke + $4.50 small Popcorn + $3.50 round-trip Bart Ticket + $14.25 dinner ( + $2.25 tip ) at 99 Chinese Buffet + $4.00 Bridge Toll = $46.09--Holy Cow, I'm one expensive dinner & movie date!
auditorium: 4
seat: 2nd row, 7th column

synopsis: In 208 A.D., an ambitious and power-hungry prime minister/general, Cao Cao ( Zhang Fengyi ) convinces the Han Dynasty Emperor Xian ( Wang Ning ) to give him permission to attack two southern warlords, Liu Bei ( You Yong ) and Sun Quan ( Chang Chen ). Forced to make a strategic retreat, Liu Bei sends his strategist, Zhuge Liang ( Takeshi Kaneshiro ) to Sun Quan's viceroy, Zhou Yu ( Tony Leung Chiu-Wai ), who lives in a palace on Red Cliff, to form a much needed alliance against the more superior military force of Cao Cao. The ensuing battle changes the history of China forever.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Cao Cao before the emperor; 2.) Cao Cao versus Liu Bei; 3.) Justification for war; 4.) "Goose" formation; 5.) Ulterior motive; 6.) The grass allegory; 7.) The messenger; 8.) The "tortoise" ambush; 9.) The spy; 10.) Art of Tea Ceremony; 11.) Typhoid outbreak; 12.) Liu Bei's retreat; 13.) Stealing arrows; 14.) The map; 15.) Weatherman Zhuge Liang; 16.) Xiao Qiao ( Lin Chiling ) goes to Cao Cao; 17.) Tea time before war time; 18.) Floating Chinese lanterns; 19.) Fire "sail"; 20.) Frontal charge; 21.) Surprise attack; 22.) The rescue; 23.) The stand-off; and 24.) The "no win" victory.

audience reaction: The mostly Chinese audience liked this subtitled movie.

recommendation: If you're interested in History in general and Military History in particular, go see this movie.

spoiler alert! First off, this American version is more than two hours shorter than the original Asian release version. So, as can be expected, much of the story suffers for it in the sense that it is heavy on action but light on emotion--and here's the funny part: At 99 Chinese Buffet tonight, when I read my cookie's fortune, this is what it says, "If it ain't broken, don't fix it" ( this is the honest truth! ). The narrator early on said that Cao Cao's army traveled 100 miles a day for three days--bull! Even if the narrator meant 100 kilometers a day, we're still talking 62 1/8ht miles. On average, a person can walk three miles in an hour. But we are talking soldiers in battle-dress uniform. The soldiers would all have to be on horses to travel that far a distance in one day; and 100 miles a day is asking too much even of any war horse! And let's not forget to throw into this equation the fact that the soldiers also had to traverse rugged terrain. Cao Cao and his men were able to set-up shop ( i.e. fortified palace ) very quickly. The enemies didn't notice the white dove flying back and forth. The Southerners didn't use the hills to their military advantage. Battle stressed soldiers are more prone to infection than the general population because of their immuno-compromised state and living conditions so that more of Liu Bei's men should have succumbed to the Typhoid disease whose mode of transmission was not known to the Chinese physicians of that time. Why did Cao Cao chase after a married woman when all those villages he over-ran had plenty of young maidens to chose from? He could have had his own harem!

fyi: A regular staple at every Chinese buffet that I've been to is the dish called General Zhou's Chicken. This is the only reason why I went to check this movie out, to see the man behind the chicken--oops! that didn't quite come out sounding right--well, you know what I mean. I wonder what will happen if General Zhou's Chicken and Colonel Sander's Chicken get together? Which one is better? Who will win? I don't care what happens so long as there's plenty of steamed rice involved--it's an Asian thing. Funny thing is I didn't see any chicken in this movie!

Supposedly, the floating Chinese lanterns have been mistaken for UFOs on occasion.

When I was around four or five years of age in Kidapawan, Cotabato, Mindanao, Philippines, the talk around town was about the recent outbreaks ( I don't know where ) of Cholera, Typhoid and Malaria. I was with my mother across the highway from the municipal building and close to her clinic as she and some other ladies expressed grave concern about the situation. I was too young to understand those three foreign words but I equated them with great fear and death based on my observation of the adults as they talked about such matters. I was afraid of these three words for years!

My parents at one time gave me and my siblings a pet turtle when we were still living at an apartment complex in Matina, Davao City, Mindanao, Philippines. One of my playmates told me that a turtle is so strong that it could crawl around even with a fat little kid like me standing on its back. He was right! When my family moved to GSIS Heights Subdivision two or three miles away, we put our turtle in our new backyard. It disappeared, only to reappear two years later before we left for the States. If it didn't die of disease or get eaten, it probably is still there since turtles have a long life span.

word of advice: You either lust for Power or you lust for Women, but you can't lust for both ( to paraphrase what Jesus Christ once said ).

It ain't the size but the action that counts. Ahem!

tidbits: I decided to leave my car at the El Cerrito Del Norte Bart Station so I could walk around downtown Berkeley and see how my left foot would handle it because I've been bothered by heel pain for over two months now and it does not seem to want to go away. I wore boots to have more ankle support. But for all of my effort, I ended-up with a painful ankle AND heel when I got home.

As I went through the turnstiles at the station, I used my left hand to put my train ticket in my T-shirt's chest pocket as I headed for the men's room. I waited in line because the men's room was occupied. While I waited, I reached into my chest pocket to make sure that my ticket was in it. It wasn't. I emptied my pocket and went through my check stub, deposit slip, and napkins to look for my ticket. I checked the floor to see if it had fallen--highly unlikely. Then I went to the station agent and told her that I couldn't find my ticket. She stepped out of her booth and helped me to look for it. Unable to find it, she went back to her booth and gave me a $3.00 value ticket to use. I walked up the escalator and waited on the platform for the approaching train to come to a halt. At that moment, something in me made me check the inside pocket of my fleece-lined, hooded green jacket. The ticket was there! I don't know how it got there, but it was there. So I decided not to board that train so I could go downstairs to return the $3.00 ticket to the station agent. I decided to go use the men's room after all since I had some extra time on my hands.

When I got to downtown Berkeley, I was about to cross Allston Way since I had the right-of-way but this white haired old white bitch in an SUV just glared at me as she did a right turn and cut me off! Woman driver!

When I got to the cinema, I checked the showtimes and found out that I was one hour and fifteen minutes early. So I walked around looking for a buffet without success. I decided to have lunch at the MacDonald's Restaurant on the corner of University Avenue and Shattuck Avenue. After I finished my meal, I still had time to do thirty minutes' worth of mantras. And I did just that.

At 3:32 p.m., a skinny, white blind man stepped into the MacDonald's restaurant. As he was walking with his white cane towards the counter, one of the dining patrons, an elderly black lady asked him if he saw ___ today. He said that he did at nine o'clock this morning. This begs the question: How can a blind man see? It's a miracle! Hallelujah.

Finally, it was getting close to showtime. As I walked down Shattuck Avenue toward the cinema, I decided to check out a bookstore to see if they have a raw food cookbook ( it's an oxymoron, I know ). But they were out because, according to the clerk, it sells like hot cakes and they can never keep it in stock. Imagine that! Well, off I went. And before I got to Allston Way, again, there was a small group of people this time making a religious protest, claiming that the Lost Tribes of Israel are the Blacks, Seminole Indians, and eight other groups of people. With my college background in Archaeology, Physical Anthropology, Cultural Anthropology, Geology, Anatomy & Physiology, and World Religions--not to mention my Bible research-- I was tempted to stop and engage them in a lively debate but I was there in Berkeley solely as a movie critic, not a debater. They got lucky, to say the least ....

After the movie, on my way to the Bart Station, I passed by the same group of looneys with one of them reading a passage from the Bible while another one was video-taping it. They should all take the time to read the Old Testament books of 1st Kings, 2nd Kings, 1st Chronicles and 2nd Chronicles to find out how stupidly wrong they are! Some people, I swear ....

OLD DOGS, PG ( 1 hr & 28 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Wednesday, November 25th, 2009
show: 4:35 p.m.
costs: $7.25 Ticket + $4.25 medium Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke = $11.50
auditorium: 1
seat: 3rd row, 6th column

synopsis: Teaching a pair of old dogs some new tricks.

Seven years after a wild night out of drinking, partying and sex to ease the pain of his divorce, Dan ( Robin Williams ), finds himself the unexpected father of fraternal twins, Emily ( Ella Blue Travolta ) and Zach ( Conner Rayburn ) through a one-night marital fling with Vicki ( Kelly Preston ) at a very inopportune time: He and his best friend/business partner, the fun-loving bachelor, Charlie ( John Travolta ), are about to land the biggest business deal of their lives. Frantically multi-tasking together to balance family life with business life, they soon find out that they need to prioritize the role which is the most important for all those concerned.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Out at the park; 2.) "Fremont"; 3.) Incontinent old dog, Lucky ( Sebastian ); 4.) Tanned Dan; 5.) The surprise; 6.) Bathroom break; 7.) Jenna's ( Rita Wilson ) hands; 8.) "We" not "me"; 9.) Pamela's Restaurant; 10.) Flirting with the interpreter, Amanda ( Lori Loughlin ); 11.) At Casa De Amore, an "adults only" community; 12.) Charlie's "crib"; 13.) Safety Squad; 14.) Pioneer Campground orientation; 15.) Tent-building; 16.) Bear skat; 17.) Touch Frisbee; 18.) Skeet shooting; 19.) Medicine cabinet; 20.) Golf game; 21.) Bereavement club; 22.) Jimmy Lunchbox ( Bernie Mac ); 23.) King Fontana and Princess Emily; 24.) Board of Marketeers; 25.) Baseball game; 26.) "Final and only" offer; 27.) Hand-made presents; 28.) Family talk; 29.) Failed proposition; 30.) The sad news; 31.) The zoo; 32.) The group photo; and 33.) Photo-shopped picture montage ( beginning credits ) and dedication to Bernie Mac and Jett Travolta ( ending credits ).

audience reaction: The audience enjoyed this funny movie although it didn't get a "Hands Clapper" at the end.

recommendation: This movie has some very funny scenes involving the unintentional misuse of prescription drugs. Go see this movie.

spoiler alert! Vicki said that her twins were 7 years old but she and Dan met 7 years ago so either she's bad in math or she came with a pair of "luggage" that eventful evening! Why would Charlie have an incontinent dog inside the house and sleeping in his bed? Why don't they know what their prescription drugs look like? The group shot at the end shows the infant and the kids with a big grin on their faces as if to imply that the little ones--and all the non-medicated ones, for that matter--have a "habit" ....

fyi: Seth Green loves to play the role of a "bitch" for big, hairy creatures. 'Remember 2004's WITHOUT A PADDLE?

I had a cat named Winky II, an orange tabby Manx of the "rumpie" kind, which became incontinent in its old age. I used to tell him, E. Mush ( my nickname for him ), you smell like "old fart" with bladder problem. But despite his incontinence, and also chronic diarrhea in his old age which forced us to keep him outdoors most of the time, he was my number one favorite cat.

I found Winky II as an abandoned little kitten out on the street. He was so weak and sleepy when I took him in that he barely moved around for about three days except to feed himself. He bonded with me. I named him Winky II because we had an orange ( with white underbelly ) Rex back in the Philippines of the same name. My eldest sister took pity on him and said, "You're like Little Orphan Annie." And I quipped, He's more like little orphan anus!

I remember Winky II's first Halloween with us in 1985. He had been out all night. Early the next day before dawn, I went to my 1978 Honda Civic CVCC Hondamatic parked at the curb and warmed it up before leaving for work. Then, I noticed Winky II sitting on the sidewalk in front of our old house in East Oakland, CA and looking at me through nearly closed eyes. Since my car was still warming-up, I decided to go to him and pet him first before leaving. As I went to pet him, I noticed that between his front paws was a roll of Sweetart ( you know, as in "sweetheart" ) candy. I guess he spent the night observing the little trick-or-treaters collect candies door-to-door and made the connection that such things are important to humans and therefore presented me with one that a kid had unknowingly dropped! That little snack-size candy is by far and away THE BEST PRESENT anyone had ever given me!

Winky II was a very smart cat, he always observed me to see which of the things he did would please me and which wouldn't. And he would always make it a point to please me. I miss him so much. Perhaps, I shall blog again about him someday when it becomes appropriate.

word of advice: Familiarize yourself well with the prescription drugs that you take and don't trust anybody to sort/organize them for you.

Even animals have human characteristics ( "Animals are people, too" ). So, what makes a human human?

When it comes to presents, indeed, "it's the thought that counts."

tidbits: I walked to Office Depot after the show to buy a 12-pack of pocket size notebooks for my movie reviews. Then, I went to the CVS store to buy straps for my wristwatch but they don't sell them anymore. Finally, I went to the Dollar Tree store at the Target Shopping Center to buy a toilet bowl cleaner and an umbrella. They sold out of umbrellas. Before I got in my car, I called my sister in Michigan to see if she already had read my blog on THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON. She said that she already did, and that it was funny; but she hasn't finished reading my blog on 2012 yet.

NINJA ASSASSIN, R ( 1 hr & 39 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Wednesday, November 25th, 2009
show: 2:25 p.m.
costs: $7.25 Ticket + $7.56 all-you-can-eat Pizza and Salad lunch at Mountain Mike's Pizzeria = $14.81
auditorium: 11
seat: 4th row, 9th column

synopsis: An orphan, Raizo ( Rain ), is taken-in by a ninja clan, the Ozunu, and taught the ways of the assassin. When his friend and fellow assassin-in-training, Kiriko ( Anna Sawai ) is executed by his clan, he begins to question his upbringing. And when he is chosen to execute another deserter, he betrays his master, Lord Ozunu ( Sho Kosugi ). From that point on, he makes it his sworn duty to destroy the clan or die trying.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The black sand; 2.) One hundred pounds of gold; 3.) Laundromat; 4.) The orphans; 5.) The salve; 6.) The Sabatin residence; 7.) Real pain; 8.) Nine Clans of Black Sand; 9.) The heart; 10.) Blindfolded; 11.) Kiriko's refusal; 12.) Taebo class; 13.) The execution; 14.) The gold watch; 15.) The betrayal; 16.) Size 34; 17.) The set-up; 18.) Boy band; 19.) The attack; 20.) The chase; 21.) The motel; 22.) Tracking device; 23.) The mudras; 24.) The device revealed; 25.) The surprise attack; 26. ) The "father" and "son" fight; and 27.) The anatomical anomaly.

audience reaction: There were a few laughs here and there. I guess the audience was entertained by this movie.

recommendation: This is a highly-stylized "slice and dice" movie that appeals to people who are fans of the genre. If this describes you, go see this movie.

spoiler alert! The lead character is played by a Korean. Why couldn't they have used a Japanese instead? How did Raizo make it past the airport metal detectors and x-ray machines with all his bladed weaponry? Why were Raizo and Kiriko always the only ones who woke up in the middle of the night while the other ninjas-in-training were deep asleep and oblivious to that fact? The only way that blood could come out of a washer or dryer is if the door is ajar--but such machines were designed not to operate when the door isn't closed properly. I guess with Raizo and Kiriko out of the picture, the other ninjas-in-training had better nights' sleep. Why didn't the "gold watch" guy use the dagger he held in his hand against Raizo? Somebody called and tipped-off Raizo to Mika's ( Naomie Harris ) whereabouts but it wasn't revealed who the mysterious caller was. For assassins who are trained in the use of the shuriken, such experts sure missed their intended target, Raizo, a whole lot! How come these ninjas didn't use smoke bombs, blowguns and throwing spikes? When Raizo pulled the shuriken and dropped it unto the car's floor, it sounded like it hit concrete! Why didn't anybody notice the shuriken-studded car parked in the motel parking lot? The ninjas were made to move unbelievably fast. Blood doesn't glow in the dark. As a SWAT team member moved across the screen from right to left in the Ozunu compound, a ninja jumped down unto the fountain in the background and struck or threw something at the SWAT guy, but the SWAT guy just kept on moving without so much as a flinch from him as his blood splashed out from the right side of his body. I guess this particular bit player doesn't understand a word of English and missed his cue! I guess only ninja lords have samurai swords that can easily cut through chain. The sword penetrated Mika's thoracic cavity, puncturing the pleura and the left lung which would have led to fluid build-up in the lung and cavity, not to mention a collapsed lung. So ... Mika should have had a hard time breathing and, not only that, she should also have been coughing-up blood--they should have consulted with Cine-Man on this anatomical matter first! When Raizo decided to climb up the wall, it looked too convenient for the bullet holes to be where they were at. I get the impression that ninjas are like cockroaches because as soon as you turn on the lights they go scurrying away a.s.a.p!

I can't believe they spent millions on this movie without hiring the services of Cine-Man to make it more believable.

Where's "Grasshopper" when you need him?

fyi: This movie is produced by the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who are famous for their MATRIX trilogy. According to the rumor mill, Larry had a sex change operation and is now going by the name of Lana. If this is true, then they should be called the Wachowski brother AND "sister"!

How odd that they should use glass Pepsi bottles in Berlin.

The good news about this movie is that they didn't use a white guy to play the part of the great ninja, a Hollywood cliche that thankfully had finally been beaten to death by none other than the late Chris Farley himself in, BEVERLY HILLS NINJA ( 1997 ).

word of advice: Don't teach anybody everything you know until after that person has proven himself/herself worthy, capable and LOYAL.

If you know of a Mountain Mike's Pizzeria and you want to take REAL advantage of their all-you-can-eat pizza and salad, go to their Wednesday night dinner buffet and show-up about thirty minutes before closing time. Act nicely and well-behaved but take your time eating so that after the restaurant closes, and you're still there, they will give you pizza slices to take home for free because it's either that or they will just end-up throwing it all away--and you know those guys are sick and tired of eating pizza every single day at work!

tidbits: After the ending credits, as I made my way towards the exit, I noticed an old Japanese couple seated in the row behind mine. O0ohhh--must be an old ninja!

Nikki, one of my co-workers here in Benicia, CA looks like Anna Sawai.

I decided not to go to either Fairfield or Vacaville just to see this movie. Consequently, I didn't buy a spool of 50-pack CD-R discs. Maybe next time.

THE BLIND SIDE, PG-13 ( 2 hr & 6 )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Monday, November 23rd, 2009
show: 9:00 p.m.
costs: $9.50 Ticket + $3.75 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's flavor ) $2.99 Safeway Ham and Swiss Cheese Sandwich ( smuggled-in ) = $16.24
auditorium: 14
seat: 5th row, 7th column

synopsis: An academically-uninspired homeless gentle-giant of a youth, Michael Oher ( Quinton Aaron ) is taken-in by a white family, The Tuohys. Through encouragement, love, help and support from his adoptive mom, Leigh Anne ( Sandra Bullock ), his new-found family and teachers, he gradually realizes his true potential as a student and as a valuable addition to his school's football team.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Little Steven and Big Mike at Briarcrest Christian High School; 2.) The "Christian thing" to do; 3.) Science pop quiz; 4.) The bleachers; 5.) The "white walls" letter; 6.) Bad news; 7.) Laundromat; 8.) Not stupid; 9.) Going to the gym; 10.) Couch; 11.) Thanksgiving Dinner; 12.) "Michael"; 13.) Eviction notice; 14.) Big & Tall store; 15.) A project for the projects; 16.) Eight grade evaluation; 17.) The cafeteria; 18.) The busboy; 19.) Reading a children's book; 20.) "Fly in the milk"; 21.) Christmas postcard; 22.) Coffee klatch; 23.) Study hall; 24.) Football practice; 25.) Child protective services; 26.) Mom to mom; 27.) The accident; 28.) Pep talk; 29.) The game; 30.) Recruiters; 31.) Private tutor, Miss Sue ( Kathy Bates ); 32.) "Had a black son before ever meeting a Democrat; 33.) Visitors; 34.) The Tennessee football field; 35.) The essay; 36.) Graduation; 37.) The investigation; 38.) Running away; 39.) The fight; 40.) The "bitch"; 41.) "Your life, your decision; 42.) Reason for wanting to go to Ole' Miss; 43.) Newspaper article; 44.) The Ravens' 2009 NFL Draft pick; and 45.) Picture montage of the actual persons that this movie is based on.

audience reaction: The audience seemed to like this movie.

recommendation: This movie is embellish-lite. Therefore, I found it more appealing than other "based on a true story" movies with composite characters thrown-in to flesh-out the story.
Go see this "feel good" movie.

spoiler alert! Whatever happened to little Steven and the mechanic stepfather?

fyi: When I was but a little boy, my mother told me that someday, she didn't yet know when, we will move to a place called America where life will be better for us. So she said that I should learn my English well because that is what they speak in America. I forced myself to make English and English Literature my favorite classes in elementary school and high school. I supplemented my schooling by reading Reader's Digest selections, as well as reading newspaper articles and current events on the American way of life. And I made a habit of saving my lunch money so I could go see Hollywood movies in order to develop a better "ear" for English. My efforts paid-off well because English became my strongest subject in school.

Then, we came to this country ....

And I found myself in a roomful of predominantly white students with English as their native tongue! It was difficult for me to carry-on a normal conversation because I had to think through in Cebuano first each sentence that I was about to say before I actually spoke it in English. As if this was not bad enough, I had to be mindful of my accent because more than one English-speaking classmate of mine laughed at how I mispronounced certain words. Consequently, English became my weak suit to the point where I was sent to a remedial English class for foreigners and all my grades suffered as a whole. Yep, I experienced what it is like to be a "fly in the milk."

word of advice: "Home is where the heart is."

tidbits: After the movie, I went to the Admiral Callahan Lane Safeway to buy gingerbread ice cream out of curiosity. They didn't have pumpkin ice cream or eggnog ice cream for that matter; and, to think, the Holidays are coming!

PLANET 51, PG ( 1 hr & 31 )

where: BRENDEN VACAVILLE 16 in Vacaville, CA
when: Saturday, November 21st, 2009
show: 12:25 p.m.
costs: $7.50 Ticket + $9.50 Lunch at Tin Tin Chinese Buffet after the show = $17.00
auditorium: 10
seat: 2nd row, 8ht column

synopsis: Captain Charles "Chuck" Baker, an American Astronaut, lands on what he thinks is an uninhabited planet. To his utter surprise, it's ripe with life reminiscent of 1950s Americana which suffers from space alien invaders paranoia. As the "51-ling" military hauls-off his lander module and the town's citizenry mobilizes a search party to hunt down the "hostile" alien, Capt. Baker is in peril of being left stranded alone and far from home.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) At the movie theatre; 2.) Kids playing "Crop Circle" hopscotch; 3.) The planetarium; 4.) Radar outpost; 5.) Rover; 6.) Astronaut's unexpected appearance; 7.) An homage to E. T.; 8.) Glipford High School; 9.) The cork; 10.) Rock sample; 11.) The meeting; 12.) The military; 13.) Diner/Bowling Alley; 14.) "Dog" and Rover; 15.) Lem's room; 16.) Haglog Comics; 17.) Three romance tips; 18.) The protest; 19.) Singing in the rain; 20.) Nitko's Restaurant; 21.) Base 9; 22.) Costume contest; 23.) Search for Chuck; 24.) Ultimatum; 25.) "Antenna"; 26.) Fear of Unknown; 27.) Rescue; 28.) Out in Space; 29.) Back on Planet 51; 30.) Man hug; 31.) Stowaway; and 32.) Bonus scenes during ending credits.

audience reaction: The kids and the parents who remember the 50s from real life or reel life ( i.e. Happy Days, Leave It To Beaver, etc. ) enjoyed this movie.

recommendation: It's funny and not scary like the OTHER animation flick currently playing. Go see this with your kids.

spoiler alert! Instead of running around in the alien neighborhood, why didn't Astronaut Baker just climb back inside the lander module? There's no explanation for the similarity in language. Why are the males bottomless while the females wear skirts--are they hiding something down there, like an antenna, maybe? Holy cow! it's the women who wear pants on that planet. Why were the soldiers shooting indiscriminately within city limits? How do the inhabitants on Planet 51 breathe? Even before Astronaut Baker mentioned it at the end, there were already hints of "that 60s feeling" permeating the whole town atmosphere.

fyi: I was one of the first to come here on Opening Day back in 1998. The movie that I saw was Jackie Chan's RUSH HOUR. They handed-out posters of the movie. I still have it somewhere.

This movie is a nod of acknowledgement to the supposed secret US/Alien military base in Nevada called Area 51.

I loved the dance moves for Greased Lightning. I gotta learn it someday.

I remember going to Chabot Observatories in Oakland, CA for Astronomy class. While everyone else was looking up at the night sky to view the heavenly bodies, a couple of us guys were scanning the neighboring houses with our binoculars in hopes of seeing "heavenly bodies" of the terrestrial kind. No such luck. I guess people are more self-conscious in an area where there are binoculars and giant telescopes. Darn it!

word of advice: When somebody tells you that something is an accepted scientific theory, bear in mind that it is just that: a theory; meaning, it is the best explanation that is currently available so it is not exactly "etched in stone" yet.

tidbits: As I walked into the dark auditorium just before the show, a little girl in front of me said, "I'm scared, daddy." And I wanted to tell the dad to take his kids to go see A CHRISTMAS CAROL because it's a fun movie. Heh, heh, heh, despicable me.

Before the movie started, an audio ad from a local realtor made the announcement that it can help financially-strapped homeowners avoid losing their home through foreclosure. Believe me when I say that the last place that you'll see a financially-strapped homeowner is at the cinema, what with the price of movie tickets and concession items the way they are these days! This realtor should have consulted first with Cine-Man's Common Cent$ Advertising.

After the show and before having lunch, I went to Big Lots! to buy rice, saltine crackers, and peanut butter. I will have to go back there in the next few days to buy a spool of 50-pack CD-R discs which are on sale for $8.00 each when I go back to either Fairfield or Vacaville to see NINJA ASSASSIN.

What is it about Chinese buffets that make rude bitches cut in line and not say, "Excuse me" as they hog a particular dish? Because it happened again! But this time the guilty party is some Asian mail-order bride.

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON, PG-13 ( 2 hr & 10 )

where: BRENDEN VACAVILLE 16 in Vacaville, CA
when: Saturday, November 21st, 2009
show: 9:45 a.m.
costs: $7.50 Ticket + $4.00 small Diet Pepsi + $1.00 Dark Chocolate Cookie Dough ( smuggled-in; bought at a Dollar Tree Store ) = $12.50
auditorium: 16
seat: 5th row, 10th column

synopsis: A cold vampire, warm human and hot werewolf menage a trois.

After a near-tragedy on Bella Swan's ( Kristen Stewart ) 18th birthday party, Edward Cullen ( Robert Pattinson ) decides to end their romance for her own safety. The Cullens leave town. Meanwhile, the childhood friendship between Bella and the secretive Jacob Black ( Taylor Lautner ) starts to deepen and skirt the fringes of unknown territory at a time when an enemy has returned to exact vengeance upon an unsuspecting Bella. When Bella notices that whenever she was about to do something foolhardy Edward would appear in a vision to try and talk some sense into her, she becomes more and more reckless if only to satisfy her pining heart's desire to see him and be "with" him again. One day, her recklessness almost kills her. Thinking that she died because of him, Edward goes to the Volturi, in Italy, to provoke them into killing him. Alice ( Ashley Greene ) returns to give Bella the bad news and persuades her to go to Italy to plead Edward's case before the Volturi Tribunal without a minute to spare as time is running out.

prediction: The supposed romance between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart is all just one big publicity stunt designed to force swooning, fantasizing girls to go to the movies in droves. But once the series' pixie dust settles down to the mundane reality of everyday life, this two will break-up! It's guaranteed. You heard it first--right here--from Cine-Man, the prognosticator.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Dream sequence; 2.) Watching a ROMEO AND JULIET movie in class; 3.) Bella's birthday party at the Cullens; 4.) Reality check for Bella and Edward; 5.) The break-up; 6.) Search and rescue; 7.) Unanswered e-mails; 8.) The bike ride; 9.) Junkyard bikes; 10.) More nightmares; 11.) Cliff divers; 12.) Test-running bike; 13.) "Face Punch"; 14.) Running with the Pack; 15.) Laurent ( Edi Gathegi ); 16.) Wolf Pack; 17.) Dark secret; 18.) "Out of the bag"; 19.) Wolf hunt; 20.) Cliff dive; 21.) Alice returns; 22.) San Marco (?) Festival; 23.) The reunion; 24.) The Volturis; 25.) The guided tour; 26.) The majority vote; 27.) Key Point of Truce reminder; and 28.) The proposal.

audience reaction: Although the audience laughed at the jokes, this movie didn't get a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation: This love story with a supernatural kinky twist could have been better if only Robert and Kristen had better on-screen chemistry and shown better acting skills. Go see this movie only if you're a sucker for vampire-themed love stories.

spoiler alert! I don't recall seeing/using drinking glasses in the school cafeteria back in high school, yet the kids in this movie used them. Wow! That's some fancy-schmancy stuff. When they broke-up, not a single tear was shed on-screen--the audience was a different story, though. Jacob probably doesn't weigh close to 200 pounds, but that bike weighed more than twice his body weight. So it would have been impossible for him to lift it the way he did without bringing it close to his body and not leaning back first. Why would you have someone who doesn't know how to operate a bike test-drive it without wearing a helmet? When Laurent was chased by the werewolves, why didn't he climb up on a tree ( since werewolves can't climb trees ) and tree-hopped it to the cliff's edge and then jumped into the water? Forensic analysis on the dead bodies found torn to pieces would easily prove that they weren't the victims/preys of mountain lions, wolves, or bears, but of a not-as-yet-known-type of creature--a forensic expert would say that the victims fell prey to what could only be described as giant "wolves". At their reunion, again, there were no tears shed on-screen ( Why didn't they take a crash course at Cine-Man's Academy of Emotive Acting? ). A guided tour group would have an itinerary schedule and would soon be reported missing by the bus driver and/or trip coordinator and their last stop and whereabouts readily discovered. The truce's "key point" only applies to the surrounding territory, outside of which it's null and void. So they can do "it" outside the territorial boundary. Now let me see if I got this right .... Bella got dumped by a vampire and then hooked-up with a werewolf. Is she freakin' nuts? This is like a jumping-out-of-the-frying-pan-and-falling-down-into-the-fire type of predicament. To be more clear, allow me to put it in this way: Werewolves are essentially just supernatural dogs but dogs, nonetheless--and we all know that dogs greet anybody and everybody by sniffing butts and crotches. What do you think will happen if Bella is in the company of werewolves at that particular time of month illustrated by this . symbol? She'd be torn to pieces! If she stays with a werewolf, a certain kind of sexual position is a no-no for the couple at that particular time of month illustrated by this . symbol, or the werewolf will rip her up a "new moon"! Or if she co-habits with a vampire, a certain sexual act is, likewise, a no-no for the couple at that particular time of month illustrated by this . symbol, or the vampire will cry out for blood! And I can't imagine why a warm-blooded mortal girl would want to make love to a vampire whose body is about as warm as "cold feet"--it's like making love to a popsicle with arms and legs! So Bella goes to Europe in search of Edward by way of Virgin America. Hmm ... I wonder if her cellphone is a Virgin Mobile. I guess they'll honeymoon in the Virgin Islands. And they'll probably settle down and raise a family in Virginia. Am I missing anything here? What do you think will happen when Bella's hymen is torn and all that blood squeezes out at the height of a lustful, ecstatic embrace and Edward is too blissfully preoccupied to concentrate on restraining his blood lust?

fyi: As I was still learning English as a second--make that third-- language, when I first came upon the word, Hymen, I wondered why anybody would decide to call it that. Then I rationalized that maybe it is because when a virgin girl parts her legs to offer up her nether region, the lovely sight is so inviting and so suggestive of the greeting, "Hi, men." But, shouldn't that be, "Hi, man," instead? I wouldn't know because I didn't make up the rules of proper English grammar and usage.

I remember back when I was a little kid when my eldest sister sat me and my other sister down at the top of the staircase in our house in Kidapawan, Cotabato, Philippines. She told us that we were going to play the "Crying Game." And whoever sheds real tears first will win the plastic yellow rosary that she held in her hand. So, my other sister and I proceeded to pretend-cry. But no tears were coming out of my eyes. Desperate to win the prize, I repeatedly punched myself in the stomach as hard as I could until I cried out tears of pain--and won! Hey, wait a minute ... I just now realized that my eldest sister tricked me into beating myself up! I wonder if it's too late to get even now. Hmmm ....

It's so amazing to me that neither Vampires nor Werewolves are immune to teen acne!

I liked the one-sided fight scene with the Volturi guard.

As Edward, Bella and Alice were leaving the Volturi Tribunal and before the guided tour stepped in, the camera showed in a Long Shot the Latin inscription high above the back wall which read: Vita Brevis Ars Longa ( Life is short, Art is long ). Nice touch!

How ironic that Michael Sheen should play the part of a vampire in this movie when he was a werewolf earlier this year in UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS.

Kristen Stewart's eyes aren't expressive enough ( Remember, I was a charcoal portrait artist and would know about eyes from an artist's point of view.). Her eyes have that distant look to them. Her eyes are about as expressive as Tiny Tim's eyes in the Jim Carey animation, A CHRISTMAS CAROL. I had the suspicion that she was on drugs. And, wouldn't you know it, a tabloid had a picture of her smoking pot with her former boyfriend. If Hollywood ever hires me to write a movie script for Kristen, I got one already simmering at the back burner of my mind: HARRIET POTHEAD: THE HALF-STONED PRINCESS. ( No offense, J. K. Rowling. )

Kirsten ( not Kristen ) is the name of my girlfriend back in college who was a beautiful and sexy natural blonde, and who happened to be an atheist dyslexic. We broke up. Had we stayed together and gotten married, we would have ended up having children who would eventually grow up not believing in any kind of dog.

A sublimated expression of a zoophiliac urge is what this "romance" movie is all about.

word of advice: Variety is suppose to be the Spice of Life, but Inter-Species romance ...? Stick to your own species, for Christ's sake! And get a room ( preferably sound insulated )!

tidbits: A few months ago, one of my co-workers here in Benicia, CA Julie N. said in the break-room that she doesn't like Robert Pattinson because he's ugly, dirty and smelly--'probably read one of the tabloids. So, I said, Good, now I know what I need to do for next Valentine's Day.

Yesterday, Friday, I debuted my new black polar fleece vest at work. I had it custom embroidered with my initials in the back and my spelled-out name across the front, all in Roman script using bluish red. Sweet .... I spent about three times more for the custom embroidery than for the vest itself, but it's worth it to me because my vest is now a "one-of " kind.

As I was leaving the theatre, I saw two ballot boxes just outside of the customer service counter so fans could vote for either Edward or Jacob. Puhlease ....

PIRATE RADIO, R ( 1 hr & 55 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
show: 11:10 a.m. ( extra Dollar off on first show Matinee )
costs: $6.25 Ticket + $3.75 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) + $4.25 junior Popcorn ( yes, the price went up )
auditorium: 11
seat: 4th row, 8th column

synopsis: In 1966, a motley crew of rebellious party-hearty disc jockeys played rock-and-roll music 24-7 on "pirate" ships to a British audience severely wanting in pop music. Despite their differences in character, their love for rock-and-roll music kept them together and influenced the future of radio programming.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Kids in their bedrooms; 2.) Carl ( Tom Sturridge ); 3.) The guessing game; 4.) Parliamentary vote to shut down pirate radio; 5.) The "F" word; 6.) Boatload of girls; 7.) "Bait and switch" plan; 8.) Twatt ( Jack Davenport )!; 9.) Bob ( Ralph Brown ); 10.) Marianne ( Talulah Riley ); 11.) The Betrayal; 12.) Consoling buddies; 13.) "Smoking gun" evidence; 14.) "Clever" Kevin ( Tom Brooke ); 15.) Marine Offenses Act; 16.) The marriage; 17.) The day after; 18.) The "chicken" war; 19.) Confessions; 20.) News flash X 2; 21.) Mom/Charlotte ( Emma Thompson ); 22.) The "Beast"; 23.) Inspirational talk; 24.) Count-down; 25.) Police boats; 26.) Trouble at sea; and 27.) The rescue.

audience reaction: I don't know since I was the only one in the auditorium.

recommendation: If you lived through the 60s in your teen years, go see this movie for reminiscence's sake.

spoiler alert! The songs played were for the most part just snippets with the volume turned down low. I can't believe that one particular girl was sitting in the toilet ( the loo, to you British people out there ) all that time; I know girls like to spend too much time in the toilet but, come now! The preview scene wherein a bunch of underwear-clad girls were packed like sardines in a room wasn't shown in this one--what a low-down dirty trick to pull on innocent horndogs out there! For someone who seemed prudish when it came to the use of the "F" word on the airwaves, Uncle Quentin ( Bill Nighy ) sure didn't display any qualms when he set his niece, Marianne, loose on a ship full of sex-hungry disc jockeys plus one lesbian cook, Felicity ( Katherine Parkinson ). Why didn't they just stay in international waters all that time to keep from being harassed by the police so that the issue of sovereign legal jurisdiction would have gotten into play? Since Britain, in the setting for this movie ( 1966 ), was no longer a Monarchy but, rather, a Representative/Liberal Democracy, the "Rule of Law" should have applied so that certain Civil Liberties ( i.e. Freedom of Speech, Assembly, etc. ) would have been safeguarded, one would rightfully think so. I guess the radio pirates could not afford the services of competent solicitors and barristers to uphold their Civil Rights in court. And had they put this matter to a vote, instead of acting rebellious, they would have gotten the support of the majority ... and there wouldn't be a need for this movie at all.

fyi: Shortly after the scene wherein the mother got on-board the ship, Dusty Springfield's "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me" played in the background. It brought back memories because I remember this song well from around that same time when I was a little kid in Kidapawan, Cotabato, Philippines. When I first heard this song played over the radio, its haunting and mournful melody overwhelmed me with sadness, then trepidation because at that time I hadn't had a commanding grasp of the English language yet and this song didn't sound happy to me. Then I remembered that my mother had gone out of town earlier that day, and this song just gave it a sense of abrupt and unwelcome permanence. Alarmed at such a terrifying prospect, I bawled out loudly. One of our maids came rushing over and asked me why I was crying. And I said it was because my mother was not coming back and I will never see her again ( all that time the music was playing on the radio, mind you ). The maid comforted me and told me that it wasn't true, that my mom just went on a trip and that she'll be back home before I knew it. Of course, she did come home. But that music had left an indelible mark in my emotional state so much so that whenever it would play on the radio, yes, I would end up crying.

To make matters worse, two other songs got on the let's-cause-him-unnecessary-grief bandwagon: Buck Owens' "Crying Time Again" and "Together Again" ( this one sung by a woman instead of Buck ). So, there I was, an emotional little boy crying a flood of tears whenever these three songs would play on the radio!

Fast-forward to 1996:

It was late in January when I got a call while I was polishing a partial denture frame at the dental lab in Concord, CA where I worked. It was a doctor at Kaiser-Permanente Hospital in Vallejo, CA. The doctor told me that they had to transfer my mother to ICU because her organs were shutting down and that she didn't want to be put on life support because she kept pulling out the IV needles. The doctor wanted to know if she had expressed her last wishes to us regarding her medical care. I told him that I didn't know and to please do their best to keep her alive, and that I was on my way over. The doctor told me to drive carefully. I told my supervisors and co-workers the bad news and apologized to them because I had a family emergency. They told me, "Go! forget about work. Your mom needs you."

On my way to the hospital in my white Geo Metro coupe, even before I got to the Benicia bridge, the station that I was listening to, KMEL, played Michael Bolton's "Love So Beautiful." Right there and then, I had a flashback to when those three '60s songs used to make me cry because this Michael Bolton song was emotive in such a way to me. I was not yet at the hospital when two other songs joined in to form a mournful trio: Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men's "Shining Down On Me From Heaven", a.k.a. "One Sweet Day" and Eric Clapton's "Tears In Heaven." A foreboding sense overcame me as I drove with tears-induced vision impairment. Why the f-ck are they playing this, I asked. This is bad! Why can't they play something else. When I changed the station on my car's radio, the same songs were playing. This is a very bad omen, I thought to myself.

Those three '60s songs were prophetic in a way: each song represented 10 years of my mother's remaining life. And those three songs I heard on my way to the hospital that fateful January afternoon in 1996 just confirmed that which I dreaded the most: my mom's life was coming close to an end. You see, in supernatural and occult circles, three means "Yes" and two means "No." I learned this from one of my Psychology professors who used Tony Orlando and Dawn's "Knock Three Times" song to explain it.

I researched these six songs on YouTube last night ( Wednesday ) and tonight ( Thursday ). And as lovely as they are, I don't think that I'll be listening to these songs again anytime soon or in the foreseeable future . I'm sure that you understand why. Thanks ....

word of advice: If a girl did to you what the "Marianne" character in this movie did to "Carl", she ain't worth having, much less keeping.

tidbits: Before the show, I asked the concessions clerk, J. M., if she had the privilege of seeing an advance screening of NEW MOON. She said, "No," but that she's looking forward to seeing it. And I said that I probably won't like it in the same way that I didn't like the much-hyped and highly-anticipated 2012 movie which proved to be just a big disappointment to me because Hollywood made it into just another "disaster flick." She said that she saw something on the History Channel about 2012. And not having my Cine-Man cards with me, I told her to give me a piece of register tape for me to write down my URL on so that she can look up my blog on 2012 and read what I have to say about it.

During a scene when the ship's crew was on deck playing a board game, it would black out intermittently but the sound would go on. I don't know if there was something wrong with the film or if somebody was playing around with the projector.

THE BOONDOCK SAINTS II: ALL SAINTS DAY , R ( 1 hr & 57 min )

where: CENTURY HILLTOP 16 in Richmond, CA
when: Sunday, November 15th, 2009
show: 10:15 p.m.
costs: $9.50 Ticket + $3.75 small Zero Coke + $12.05 Chinese buffet Dinner at 99 buffet + $4.00 Bridge Toll = $29.30
auditorium: 8
seat: 5th row, 6th column

synopsis: A pair of assassins comes out of hiding to avenge the execution of a priest in Boston.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The assassination; 2.) The crime re-enactment; 3.) The secret exposed; 4.) "My Little Secret"; 5.) Conspicuous car; 6.) F-ck A--; 7.) Flashback; 8.) Massage parlor; 9.) Columbarium; 10.) Tanning salon; 11.) The rosary; 12. ) The gang's all here; 13.) The shoot-out; 14.) The new guns; 15.) Janitor's room; 16.) Window cleaners; 17.) "Ding dong"; 18.) The fire hydrant; 19.) Inside the Irish pub; 20.) The reunion; and 21.) "We".

audience reaction: The audience laughed at some of the jokes, myself included.

recommendation: Wait for this to come out on DVD as a rental.

spoiler alert! I don't know what to make of this movie. It's a combination Comedy, highly unbelievable shoot-out Action, and ... Fashion Show? Huh ...? Come on!

The shoot-outs would have been more believable if the pair used Uzis, or something similar, instead. The mopped-up blood on the floor would show up under black light so the cops would know that the bodies were moved and evidence was tampered with. Skyscraper windows are hard to break through, unlike your typical house window, so those two idiots would have fallen to their deaths, instead--it would have been more believable had they both shot-out the windows as they came with their guns blazing. The old fart sat coolly through all that hail fire without so much as getting grazed by a stray bullet--why weren't ricocheting bullets taken into account by the writer/director of this dumb movie?

fyi: This doesn't show the kind of nudity that you horndogs out there prefer to see--I'm still washing my eyes out with soap and water!

If you want to wear "my little secret"-type of shoes, prepare to get shin splints from Hell since they are not designed for walking in, "a little bird ( man ) told me."

This movie has references to part I ( shown in 2000 ) which I never saw. I probably didn't miss out on anything based on how part II, written/directed by the same person, turned out.

word of advice: Kids, don't try these tricks at all!

tidbits: I had to cross the bridge to see this because it's not playing anywhere in my area of Vallejo/Fairfield. Now, I think it is for a good reason why it isn't.

Also, I wanted to try out the new 99 Chinese buffet; I wasn't impressed by the typical so-so fair--but one of the waitresses was kinda hot, though.

As I sat on a bench in the hallway while waiting for the show to begin, a group of Hispanic kids came out of an auditorium where a showing for PARANORMAL ACTIVITY had just ended. They talked amongst themselves about how scary the movie was for them. And I was so tempted to reveal my secret identity as the Cine-Man to them, if only to reassure them that it was all fake as I've proven on my blog.

And just before the movie started, a group of frat boys, three dressed casually and one dressed in a "$1,000 suit", came and sat next to me. The talk I heard was that Mr. Fancily-dressed Guy sweet-talked the counter girl into giving him free popcorn, hotdog and drink--I should try this, myself! But, wait ... I'm too cheap to spend $1,000 on a suit just to get "freebies" at the concession counter; besides, I already get free stuff using my "movie watcher" cards at two other theatre chains. So, I'll just have to scratch-off "Expensive Suit" from my To-Do List.

As I was leaving the shopping center, I noticed the local 24-hour IHOP ( International House Of Pancakes ) Restaurant at the corner. I'll try this place out someday when I get a craving for an all-you-can-eat pancake midnight "snack."

2012 , PG-13 ( 2 hr & 38 min )

where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when: Friday, November 13th, 2009
show: 1:10 p.m.
costs: $7.50 Ticket + $6.00 small Popcorn + free small Diet Coke ( w/ Dr. Pibb's flavor ) = $13.50
auditorium: 8
seat: 5th row, 10th column

synopsis: Solar flares of immense magnitude send an over-abundance of neutrinos to planet Earth which cause its molten core to overheat. As a result, multiple volcanic eruptions, super tsunamis and mega earthquakes wreak havoc in such epic proportions on all of the land masses. Fear, dread and panic ensue as everyone tries to survive this global cataclysm with the last vestiges of humanity hanging by a slim thread.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Gold mine in India; 2.) The Fundraiser; 3.) G-8 Summit; 4.) Tibet; 5.) London hotel; 6.) French museum; 7.) Crack in the road; 8.) The Paris tunnel; 9.) The Oval Office; 10.) Yellowstone National Park; 11.) The Campground; 12.) The RV/Radio Show; 13.) The grocery store; 14.) Emergency meeting with Heads of State; 15.) The boxing arena; 16.) The spoiled twins; 17.) The Governator; 18.) The limousine ride; 19.) The plane ride; 20.) The cut-off long distance call; 21.) Back in Yellowstone; 22.) Rio de Janeiro; 23.) Air Force One; 24.) Russian cargo plane; 25.) Hawaii; 26.) The Vatican; 27.) Polar shift; 28.) Voice-activated Bentley; 29.) Chinese helicopters; 30.) The Arks; 31.) The speech; 32.) The death knell; 33.) "Monkey-wrenched" gears; and 34.) Day 27, month one, year one.

audience reaction: Some people in the audience clapped their hands either because it was a good movie to them or because it was finally over.

recommendation: Although the special effects in this movie are great, it could have been better had this movie been made into an I-Max 3-D show. Also, those people who are into Bible Prophecy and Conspiracy Theory, such as myself, will be so sorely disappointed because to them this movie will just be relegated to the Hollywood shelf stuffed with a plethora of "disaster flicks" that are filed under "Conformity" not "Individuality." If you haven't noticed it yet, I purposely didn't include names in my "synopsis" and my "noteworthy scenes" because this movie proved to be such a let-down for me. Go see this movie knowing that it's just another one of those disaster movies that Hollywood churns out every now and then for quick bucks.

spoiler alert! The earthquake was of such magnitude that it would have also been experienced clear across the continental USA all the way to the eastern side--just something I learned in Geology class. The volcanic ash would have affected the plane in one of three ways: 1.) It would have clogged-up the engine, made the plane stall, then made it crash; 2. ) THAT volcanic ash was Super-Heated and would have made the plane burst into flames; and 3.) The ash was sulfuric ( sulfur dioxide ) , among other things, and would have killed everybody in the plane since it is very toxic in large amounts and, believe me, volcanic ash contains a large amount of it! ( The 3rd probability just mentioned assumes that since it was a low-flying plane, its occupants were all inhaling fresh, vented, air up until it was enveloped in volcanic ash. I didn't see anyone closing or covering the air vents. Did you? ) The cell-phone towers would have all been destroyed so that the cell phones shouldn't have worked anymore by the time the continents were all cracked-up ( and not in a funny way! ). And if the cell phones were still functional, no calls would have gotten through what with all the countless numbers of people bottlenecking the 'phone lines. The giant Jesus Christ statue in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, was shown falling over with its arms crumbling off. Wrong! That statue was made with rebars set in it to make it structurally sound so that the arms would never be able to crumble off as shown. What's with the hug-the-kid-and-wife scene? In a real emergency situation, it would have been, "Get the Hell away from me, Woman! Can't you see the ship is sinking and it is up to me to keep everyone from drowning? So, leave me alone, bitch, 'cause I've got a job to do a.s.a.p!" Those giant gears would have easily wedged the impact wrench into place so that not even a team of elephants would have been able to pull it out--think about it. All those simultaneous global-wide volcanic eruptions would have created a nuclear winter, so that most of the Earth's surface, a few days later, would have become dark and snow- and ice-covered, freezing to death a great majority of survivors both on land and at sea. ( Why doesn't Hollywood consult with me first? I just don't understand! It is so exasperating; believe, you, me. )

And what's with the arks? This idiot screenwriter/director probably never read the Bible! Otherwise, he would know what Genesis, chapter 9, verse 15 is all about!

fyi: Back on August 20th, 1937, there was a strong earthquake in Cotabato, Mindanao, Philippines. This was on the 18th day after my father's 6th birthday. While everyone else in the village was feeling scared and running for cover, my father went into the street laughing and having a good time. The earthquake was strong enough to crack the ground. When my dad saw this, he told the man who lived nearby that he hoped that the man's house would be swallowed by the earth!

The REAL 2012 prediction centers around a planet alternatively called "X" and "Nibiru" ( also called "The 10th Planet" ) which is on a very elliptical ( almost like a straight line ) orbit and which will be in contact or in close proximity to Earth on Dec. 21st, 2012. Supposedly, every OTHER time that this planet swings around Earth, mass extinction occurs--and the last time it swung around ( 2,145 years ago ) nothing bad happened. So we are in for one Hell of an experience come 12-21-'12! It would be easy enough to summarily dismiss this as ancient hogwash but ... about a dozen ancient civilizations ( Sumerian, Mayan, Maori, Dogon, Aztec, Cherokee, Tibetan, Hindu, Egyptian, Zulu, etc. ) isolated from each other over time and space all arrived at the same conclusion: The End of Time, as we know it, will be on Dec. 21st, 2012, which would make it a Friday, to be more specific--and it won't be a TGIF affair! On this day, our "gods/creators", the Anunnakis, who live on planet X/Nibiru will harvest the Earth of its goodly bounty, the "RAPTURE" that fanatical Evangelicals spout about. The "Chaff", i.e. "bad people", will be left behind to fend for themselves and fight each other until the "Heavenly Hosts", i.e. the Anunnakis, put a stop to the senseless slaughter ( Revelation, chapter 19, verse 14 ).

Who are the Anunnakis? They are a race of giants ( The Nephilims that the Bible speaks of in Genesis, chapter 6, verse 4 ) who are genetically and technologically far more superior to us Humans, their genetic hybrid "created in their own image." They are not immortals but have extremely long lives, with an average life-span of about 50,000 years! ( According to an article printed in one of the websites which I visited. ) They are also the Pleiadians, a.k.a. "the Nordic types", who have a subterranean outpost and who have been monitoring humans for millennia, according to UFO and HOLLOW EARTH Theorists.

If what the ancients predicted will come to pass on that fateful day, after the looting and rioting, many people who will no longer feel constrained by society's code of ethics and moral conduct will be out en masse to rape and kill! So stock-up on "guns and ammo" ( and I'm not talking about the magazine of the same name ).

How will we be raptured? Here's something to ponder on: The only thing that is keeping us from flying off into space is Earth's gravity. If planet X/Nibiru gets close enough, its gravitational field may be at least as strong as that of Earth's so that "Equal but Opposite Forces Cancel each other out," plain and simple Newtonian Physics. If you wanna increase your chance of being raptured, make sure you are skinny ( go on a diet if you have to ) and outdoors on 12-21-'12. But just remember that planet X/Nibiru will be swinging by really fast so that if you don't get raptured at the perfect time you will either end up flying off into the vacuum of Deep Space or you will end up falling back down to Earth, neither one of which will be good for you! ( Well ... there goes my diet. )

How will we survive the rapture process? With the coming of planet X/Nibiru, it is speculated that mankind will undergo a punctuated evolutionary change for the better ( a shift in consciousness and being )--this is perhaps what the Bible means about the "Believers" being given "New Bodies" and "New Robes" to wear. But before you go on a "Yippeety Hoppity" trip, please bear in mind that the "Living Creatures" mentioned in the Bible look like mutants to us! So, do you want to look like a four-headed, horned, fanged, beaked, clawed, taloned, multi-limbed, scaled, furred, feathered and winged mutant who doesn't know whether it is coming or going for all of Eternity even with its dozens of red eyes all aglow? I know I don't. I'm quite happy with the way I look--well ... I could use a few more inches in height and, ah, you know .... ( Visually pleasing comes to mind. Ahem! ) [ Hey! I'm talking about the "H" word here--no, not that. I am talking about "H" as in, more Handsome. Yeah, right .... ]

Just another thing to ponder on: According to a form of Astrology, when Jesus Christ was born, the Age of Aquarius ( i.e. Man ) began. Now, we are in the Age of Scorpio ( i.e. Eagle ); and as you well know, an eagle is a raptor ( and raptor is where the word, Rapture, comes from! ). The age before Aquarius was Taurus ( i.e. Bull )--remember how Moses was so pissed off at the Israelites for worshipping a golden statue of a bull ( Exodus 32:19 )? In the Age of Taurus, the Israelites dedicated their Temple using a Red Heifer and they sacrificed a lot of bulls. In the Age of Aquarius, they sacrificed ( i.e. crucified/martyred ) men. In the Age of Scorpio, those who sacrificed their lives in the service of God will be raptured. Remember, too, that in the last book of the Bible, The Book of Revelation, chapter 12, verse 14, a Raptor comes to the aid of the Woman being chased by the Dragon. These are the Zodiac signs that dominate mankind in the Judeo-Christian Tradition, in their order of appearance: Leo ( i.e. Lion ), Taurus, Aquarius and Scorpio ( Ezekiel 1:10 ). Scorpio is the strongest of them all and will rule over the rest of the signs in this, the 21st century, bringing with it revolution, death, and spiritual regeneration--research it for yourself and see. ( Here's a quote on the potency of Scorpio: "If the last Scorpio hot spot is any guide, some nuclear calamity due to aggression or accident may be around the corner, especially between 2010 and 2015." [ 'notice how 2012 neatly falls in-between the two--my note ] SCORPIO-THE SIGN OF THE TIMES-DEMYSTIFYING THE AQUARIAN AGE. Terry MacKinnell, copyright 2008 { it's on the internet--my note }. )

To Evangelical Christians, 2012 would mark the start of the Final Week ( 70th Week ) of Seven Years as mentioned in the Old Testament's Book of Daniel, chapter 9, verses 24 & 25. Do you notice how only 69 weeks are accounted for, which ended on Palm Sunday as mentioned in the Gospels? The Judeo-Christian concept of Divine Time is non-linear but, rather, fragmented to allow for the possibility of Divine Intervention through Divine Grace ( 2 Thessalonians, chapter 2, verse 7 of the Bible's New Testament; this talks about the work of the Holy Spirit in our time ) for the sake of the faithfuls' sincere sense of remorse and their pledge to amend their lives. The last rebuilding of the Jewish Temple will start the countdown for the 70th Week -- remember, we are just living on borrowed time, according to Bible Prophecy ( again, 2 Thessalonians 2:7 ). An obscure British document, circa 1901 A.D. , gave Jews the permission to return to Palestine/Israel, a British Protectorate. The year 1901 A.D. corresponds with Psalm 1 according to two Bible researchers interviewed on television some years back. What's the significance of this? Every Psalm from that point on corresponds to a year in history as it pertains to Jewish People! Read the Psalms and cross-reference them with 20th Century Jewish History and see for yourself whether or not this contention is true. Following this line of thought, 2012 corresponds with Psalm 112 ( read verses 8 & 10 ). If you add another seven years to this figure, you come upon 119 years; AND PSALM 119 IS THE ONLY PSALM WRITTEN IN ACROSTIC FORM!!!!!!! What is the relevance? It is the only Psalm written which goes through the whole letter-number system of the Jews so that Psalm 119 and the year associated with it, 2019, must be very pivotal and very monumentally important. Don't forget that God said in the Book of Genesis, chapter 6, verse 3, that His Spirit will not contend with mankind forever and that the age of mortal man will only be 120 years! So, in 120 years, i.e. by the year 2020, the vision for mankind's future will be very vague and/or grim ( "When I talk Peace, they want War." Psalm 120, verse 7 ). Yikes! As you can see, YES! even the Bible Prophets knew about 2012. So, there!

Of course, it is up to collective Humanity to decide what fate should befall us all, come 12-21-'12.

word of advice: If you want to know more about 2012, go to this website: http://churchofcriticalthinking.org. After you have read the information on all the subjects listed on this website, you will come away more knowledgeable about 12-21-2012 than the screenwriter/director of this disaster!

Just in case something globally bad were to happen on 12-21-2012, once all the stores have been looted through, the next best place to find some food is your local neighborhood Mormon home. Why? Because their religion requires Mormons to hoard food for just-in-case. ( Shh! you didn't hear this from me. Okay? ) And, by the way, I don't hoard food at my place, so leave me alone!

tidbits: On my way home from Fairfield, once I got to Vallejo, a sight next to the freeway which greeted me is a billboard for the 2012 movie, the one in which the giant Jesus Christ statue in Rio de Janeiro is toppling over except that its arms are still intact!

Instead of the grocery store, they should have used a jeans store. You know ... "Fall into the Gap." Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha--snort!

It's a safe bet that Joan Cusack was the first fatality in this movie even before her brother, John, got anywhere near her. ( This is an inside joke, folks. If you have to ask, you're not an insider. )

About a month ago, when I visited my friend, Hector, in Oakland, his son, Isma, told me that they already have a pirated copy of the 2012 movie and that we were going to watch it later on. The thought of being privileged enough to be able to see it and blog about it a month ahead of everyone else joyfully danced in my mind. Soon, we all proceeded to sit down to watch it. WTF?!?!?! The movie was 2012, DOOMSDAY, an Evangelical Christian interpretation of the global disaster replete with a decidedly Christian bent, bad script, bad acting and bad directing and which centers on an immaculately-conceived infant that has to be born inside a Mayan step pyramid at just the right time or else .... Whew! ( This just goes to show what happens when you buy an illegally-made DVD from some shady character. )

Speaking of Evangelical Christian, Bible Prophecy author Tim LaHaye was in Redwood City, CA's Grace Bible Church the last few days for a speaking engagement which was attended by one of my friends, Marcus ( Hector's oldest son ). The author said that in the next few weeks, World Leaders will convene in Copenhagen, Denmark, to set into motion the final stages for a One World Government wherein paper currency, i.e. "play money", will be made obsolete, as in: Mark of the Beast ( Dissenters will either be executed or kept prisoners in former military bases. New Testament's Book of Revelation, chapter 13, verses 16 & 17 ). Also, Mr. LaHaye made the claim that a Middle Eastern State has dispatched three of its nuclear submarines for a possible pre-emptive strike on a neighboring State ( you know which two ) which could very well set-off a "domino effect" of some unwelcome sort. Uh-oh ....

It's not a pretty picture that I painted for you this time, I know. But "forewarned is forearmed." Good luck to you and yours.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL in 3-D, PG ( 1 hr & 36 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
show: 11:10 a.m.
costs: $9.25 Ticket + $3.75 small Diet/Zero Coke + $4.00 small Popcorn = $17.00
auditorium: 7
seat: 5th row, 19th column

synopsis: Ebenezer Scrooge is a grumpy old workaholic miser who thinks people who take time out for a holiday are just people who want to skip work and still expect to be paid for it and the poor and destitute are lazy, irresponsible people who feel the world owes them some charity. He loves to hoard his money for fear of becoming poor. On the eve of Christmas, 1843, he is visited by the ghost of a former associate, Jacob Marley, who was as greedy and cold-hearted as he is and which warns him that if he doesn't change his ways he will suffer the same fate upon death. Also, Marley's ghost tells him that he should expect a visit from three spirits. The spirits do show up and proceed to show Ebenezer his past before avarice took the better hold of him, the resulting bleakness of his life and what such a vice would lead to in all eventuality. A remorseful Ebenezer promises to change his ways if given the chance. And it being Christmas, the spirits give him the gift of A Second Chance. But will he change his ways as he promised or were his words just the empty words of a fearful and desperate soul?

noteworthy scenes: 1.) At the funeral parlor in 1836; 2.) The locked coal box; 3.) Bob Cratchit playing in the street; 4.) The door knob; 5.) Jacob Marley's ghost; 6.) Ghost of Christmas Past; 7.) The old classroom; 8.) Mr. Fezziwig; 9.) The dance; 10.) Belle releasing Ebenezer; 11.) Skyrocket; 12.) Ghost of Christmas Present; 13.) The Cratchit's home; 14.) The guessing game; 15.) Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come; 16.) The stagecoach chase; 17.) The Dilber's home; 18.) The grave site; 19.) Glad-to-be-alive dance; 20.) Playing in the street; 21.) The carolers; 22.) Nephew's home; and 23.) The surprise for Cratchit.

audience reaction: The audience gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation: Go see the show but don't take little kids to see it with you.

spoiler alert! If you watch this movie in 3-D or I-Max 3-D, the snowflakes will serve more as a distraction than anything else. When Scrooge asked the Ghost of Christmas Past if it was the spirit foretold and the camera zoomed in on Ebenezer's face, you could see that his pupils were not perfectly "squared." The Ghost of Christmas Past held in its hand the wrong kind of mistletoe! The setting for A Christmas Carol is 1843 London; therefore, the mistletoe should have been the European kind ( not the American kind ) which has white--not red--berries. Fezziwig and his wife danced unrealistically. In the skyrocket scene, Ebenezer's mouth was wide open and you could see a full set of teeth--Bah! humbug. People back in the 1800s still had poor oral hygiene so that old people would have very little--if at all--teeth left and, clearly, Scrooge was not wearing a set of false teeth--'check out the cavities--even though his pointed chin would seem to suggest otherwise. The chase scene was drawn-out, very uncharacteristic of a feeble old fart who was shown to easily out-distance the horses even when he was miniaturized. The tiny Scrooge didn't have enough mass and inertia to break-off each and every icicle that he smashed into. Scrooge, at 57 years and 10 months of age in this film, looks too darn old for the part! Tiny Tim had a "spaced-out" look in his eyes; and even at the end, when he sat perched on Scrooge's shoulder, Tiny Tim wasn't exactly looking eye-to-eye with the old man, himself. I used to do charcoal portraits so that I am quite aware of ocular expressions, since a charcoal portrait is heavily dependent on the subject's eyes to invest it with a modicum of "reality." ( Oh, when is Hollywood going to notice my detail-oriented artistic ability and hire my services? [ Sigh .... ] )

fyi: This movie, made by the same people who made 2004's THE POLAR EXPRESS, is more of a sumptuous feast for CGI-starved eyes than its predecessor! The main characters are rendered more life-like in this movie; the supporting characters is a different story, though. I just love the painstaking attention to detail, e.g. The undertaker's zit-faced apprentice; Scrooge's footprints in the snow as he walks up to his gate; Jacob Marley's ghost; The scenes with Ghost of Christmas Present; The rug and the bed curtains; The cooked goose--yummylicious! ( Forget turkey, I think I'd much rather have a goose for Thanksgiving ); And the wet cobblestones, etc ....

I saw this cartoon drawing once. The setting is the Cratchit residence. Tiny Tim's crutch is leaning against the wall. Mr. Scrooge is standing at the dinner table holding a fork and a carving knife. Everybody else is seated around the table. And Tiny Tim is on the table, trimmed and roasted and with an apple in his mouth! I hope that you find this visualization as funny as I found the cartoon, itself. Ha, ha, ha. Merry Christmas.

word of advice: Don't let its MPAA's PG-rating fool you. This is probably the second scariest movie that I've seen in as many weeks! Definitely not for little kids. A boy in the audience could be heard whining scared to his mommy about the movie--he is not going to be looking forward to Christmas presents, that's for sure.

Here, then, is a tip for you: If you don't like giving bratty kids Christmas presents, just tell them that Santa won't be showing up for Christmas this year because the Ghosts of Christmas Past and Yet to Come have taken over the North Pole's Gift Distribution business because Santa had a heart attack. Also, all the elves were fired and Jacob Marley and the rest of the fettered ghosts are working as Santa's Helpers. And that the Ghosts will be using the Black Stagecoach instead of the Reindeer Sleigh. But be sure to take them to see this movie first. Heh, heh, heh ....

tidbits: I'm going to have to see this again, perhaps in I-Max 3-D, because I didn't like where I was seated which I feel compromised my enjoyment of the 3-D effect. The left half of the column of seats in the lower part ( where I usually prefer to sit ) of the auditorium was cordoned-off with some tape while the seats in the top part were mostly taken-up.

On my way home from the cinema, I swung by Uncle Sam's Restaurant on Couch Street because I was going to have some Chinese buffet lunch before going to work later on. But I found out that they don't have a buffet anymore. So, I went to the Wendy's Restaurant on Redwood Street, instead, after I stopped-off first at Chevron's for some gas.