where: LANDMARK'S SHATTUCK CINEMAS in Berkeley, CA
when: Saturday, November 28th, 2009
show: 4:45 p.m.
costs: $5.59 MacDonald's Quarter Pounder w/ Cheese meal ( before the show ) + $8.00 Ticket + $4.00 small Diet Coke + $4.50 small Popcorn + $3.50 round-trip Bart Ticket + $14.25 dinner ( + $2.25 tip ) at 99 Chinese Buffet + $4.00 Bridge Toll = $46.09--Holy Cow, I'm one expensive dinner & movie date!
auditorium: 4
seat: 2nd row, 7th column
synopsis: In 208 A.D., an ambitious and power-hungry prime minister/general, Cao Cao ( Zhang Fengyi ) convinces the Han Dynasty Emperor Xian ( Wang Ning ) to give him permission to attack two southern warlords, Liu Bei ( You Yong ) and Sun Quan ( Chang Chen ). Forced to make a strategic retreat, Liu Bei sends his strategist, Zhuge Liang ( Takeshi Kaneshiro ) to Sun Quan's viceroy, Zhou Yu ( Tony Leung Chiu-Wai ), who lives in a palace on Red Cliff, to form a much needed alliance against the more superior military force of Cao Cao. The ensuing battle changes the history of China forever.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) Cao Cao before the emperor; 2.) Cao Cao versus Liu Bei; 3.) Justification for war; 4.) "Goose" formation; 5.) Ulterior motive; 6.) The grass allegory; 7.) The messenger; 8.) The "tortoise" ambush; 9.) The spy; 10.) Art of Tea Ceremony; 11.) Typhoid outbreak; 12.) Liu Bei's retreat; 13.) Stealing arrows; 14.) The map; 15.) Weatherman Zhuge Liang; 16.) Xiao Qiao ( Lin Chiling ) goes to Cao Cao; 17.) Tea time before war time; 18.) Floating Chinese lanterns; 19.) Fire "sail"; 20.) Frontal charge; 21.) Surprise attack; 22.) The rescue; 23.) The stand-off; and 24.) The "no win" victory.
audience reaction: The mostly Chinese audience liked this subtitled movie.
recommendation: If you're interested in History in general and Military History in particular, go see this movie.
spoiler alert! First off, this American version is more than two hours shorter than the original Asian release version. So, as can be expected, much of the story suffers for it in the sense that it is heavy on action but light on emotion--and here's the funny part: At 99 Chinese Buffet tonight, when I read my cookie's fortune, this is what it says, "If it ain't broken, don't fix it" ( this is the honest truth! ). The narrator early on said that Cao Cao's army traveled 100 miles a day for three days--bull! Even if the narrator meant 100 kilometers a day, we're still talking 62 1/8ht miles. On average, a person can walk three miles in an hour. But we are talking soldiers in battle-dress uniform. The soldiers would all have to be on horses to travel that far a distance in one day; and 100 miles a day is asking too much even of any war horse! And let's not forget to throw into this equation the fact that the soldiers also had to traverse rugged terrain. Cao Cao and his men were able to set-up shop ( i.e. fortified palace ) very quickly. The enemies didn't notice the white dove flying back and forth. The Southerners didn't use the hills to their military advantage. Battle stressed soldiers are more prone to infection than the general population because of their immuno-compromised state and living conditions so that more of Liu Bei's men should have succumbed to the Typhoid disease whose mode of transmission was not known to the Chinese physicians of that time. Why did Cao Cao chase after a married woman when all those villages he over-ran had plenty of young maidens to chose from? He could have had his own harem!
fyi: A regular staple at every Chinese buffet that I've been to is the dish called General Zhou's Chicken. This is the only reason why I went to check this movie out, to see the man behind the chicken--oops! that didn't quite come out sounding right--well, you know what I mean. I wonder what will happen if General Zhou's Chicken and Colonel Sander's Chicken get together? Which one is better? Who will win? I don't care what happens so long as there's plenty of steamed rice involved--it's an Asian thing. Funny thing is I didn't see any chicken in this movie!
Supposedly, the floating Chinese lanterns have been mistaken for UFOs on occasion.
When I was around four or five years of age in Kidapawan, Cotabato, Mindanao, Philippines, the talk around town was about the recent outbreaks ( I don't know where ) of Cholera, Typhoid and Malaria. I was with my mother across the highway from the municipal building and close to her clinic as she and some other ladies expressed grave concern about the situation. I was too young to understand those three foreign words but I equated them with great fear and death based on my observation of the adults as they talked about such matters. I was afraid of these three words for years!
My parents at one time gave me and my siblings a pet turtle when we were still living at an apartment complex in Matina, Davao City, Mindanao, Philippines. One of my playmates told me that a turtle is so strong that it could crawl around even with a fat little kid like me standing on its back. He was right! When my family moved to GSIS Heights Subdivision two or three miles away, we put our turtle in our new backyard. It disappeared, only to reappear two years later before we left for the States. If it didn't die of disease or get eaten, it probably is still there since turtles have a long life span.
word of advice: You either lust for Power or you lust for Women, but you can't lust for both ( to paraphrase what Jesus Christ once said ).
It ain't the size but the action that counts. Ahem!
tidbits: I decided to leave my car at the El Cerrito Del Norte Bart Station so I could walk around downtown Berkeley and see how my left foot would handle it because I've been bothered by heel pain for over two months now and it does not seem to want to go away. I wore boots to have more ankle support. But for all of my effort, I ended-up with a painful ankle AND heel when I got home.
As I went through the turnstiles at the station, I used my left hand to put my train ticket in my T-shirt's chest pocket as I headed for the men's room. I waited in line because the men's room was occupied. While I waited, I reached into my chest pocket to make sure that my ticket was in it. It wasn't. I emptied my pocket and went through my check stub, deposit slip, and napkins to look for my ticket. I checked the floor to see if it had fallen--highly unlikely. Then I went to the station agent and told her that I couldn't find my ticket. She stepped out of her booth and helped me to look for it. Unable to find it, she went back to her booth and gave me a $3.00 value ticket to use. I walked up the escalator and waited on the platform for the approaching train to come to a halt. At that moment, something in me made me check the inside pocket of my fleece-lined, hooded green jacket. The ticket was there! I don't know how it got there, but it was there. So I decided not to board that train so I could go downstairs to return the $3.00 ticket to the station agent. I decided to go use the men's room after all since I had some extra time on my hands.
When I got to downtown Berkeley, I was about to cross Allston Way since I had the right-of-way but this white haired old white bitch in an SUV just glared at me as she did a right turn and cut me off! Woman driver!
When I got to the cinema, I checked the showtimes and found out that I was one hour and fifteen minutes early. So I walked around looking for a buffet without success. I decided to have lunch at the MacDonald's Restaurant on the corner of University Avenue and Shattuck Avenue. After I finished my meal, I still had time to do thirty minutes' worth of mantras. And I did just that.
At 3:32 p.m., a skinny, white blind man stepped into the MacDonald's restaurant. As he was walking with his white cane towards the counter, one of the dining patrons, an elderly black lady asked him if he saw ___ today. He said that he did at nine o'clock this morning. This begs the question: How can a blind man see? It's a miracle! Hallelujah.
Finally, it was getting close to showtime. As I walked down Shattuck Avenue toward the cinema, I decided to check out a bookstore to see if they have a raw food cookbook ( it's an oxymoron, I know ). But they were out because, according to the clerk, it sells like hot cakes and they can never keep it in stock. Imagine that! Well, off I went. And before I got to Allston Way, again, there was a small group of people this time making a religious protest, claiming that the Lost Tribes of Israel are the Blacks, Seminole Indians, and eight other groups of people. With my college background in Archaeology, Physical Anthropology, Cultural Anthropology, Geology, Anatomy & Physiology, and World Religions--not to mention my Bible research-- I was tempted to stop and engage them in a lively debate but I was there in Berkeley solely as a movie critic, not a debater. They got lucky, to say the least ....
After the movie, on my way to the Bart Station, I passed by the same group of looneys with one of them reading a passage from the Bible while another one was video-taping it. They should all take the time to read the Old Testament books of 1st Kings, 2nd Kings, 1st Chronicles and 2nd Chronicles to find out how stupidly wrong they are! Some people, I swear ....
