TOY STORY 3, G ( 1 hr & 49 min )

where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when: Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
show: 1:50 p.m.
costs: $17.50 Ticket + $0.00 small Popcorn ( free on my movie watcher rewards card ) + $5.75 small Diet Coke = $23.25
auditorium: 12, with the 3-D I-Max screen
seat: 5th row, 4th seat

2nd time:

where: AMC BAY STREET 16 in Emeryville, CA
when: Wednesday ( Free Small Popcorn Day w/ movie rewards card ), June 30th, 2010
show: 9:15 p.m.
costs: $14.00 Ticket + $0.00 small Popcorn + $4.25 small Diet Zero Coke + $5.00 Carquinez Bridge Toll = $23.25
auditorium: 4, with the 3-D screen
seat: 4th row, 8th column

synopsis: With Andy all grown up and about ready to leave for college, his toys worry about their future. In a mix-up, they find themselves in a pre-school where unruly snot-nosed tykes play roughly with them. Longing to get back to their rightful owner, they come up with an escape plan, not knowing that someone is doing his best to keep them from leaving.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Train rescue; 2.) Death by monkeys; 3.) Home movie; 4.) 'Phone call; 5.) Group meeting; 6.) Sort out stuff; 7.) Trash bag; 8.) Curb side; 9.) Donation box; 10.) Sunnyside Day Care; 11.) Welcoming committee; 12.) Caterpillar room; 13.) Toilet; 14.) Kite; 15.) Bonnie on the sidewalk; 16.) Bad sign; 17.) Improv; 18.) At the end of the first day; 19.) Vending machine; 20.) Sycamore Street & Elm Street; 21.) Original factory setting; 22.) Other eye; 23.) Lock-up; 24.) "Right around the corner"; 25.) Chuckle's story; 26.) Lincoln logs; 27.) Telephone toy; 28.) Security monkey; 29.) Potato head; 30.) Scotch tape; 31.) Impromptu fashion show; 32.) Tortilla; 33.) Breaking Ken; 34.) High heels; 35.) Bird; 36.) Reset; 37.) Cucumber; 38.) Latin dance moves; 39.) Garbage chute; 40.) Surrounded; 41.) Garbage bin; 42.) Tri-County Landfill; 43.) Conveyor belt; 44.) Magnet; 45.) Furnace; 46.) Hand-in-hand; 47.) The "Claw"; 48.) Truck's radiator grill; 49.) Washing-up; 50.) Spanish mode; 51.) Bonnie's front yard; and 52.) Bonus scenes during the Ending Credits.

audience reaction: The audience loved it.

recommendation: I totally enjoyed this movie, too--another winner from Pixar Studios! It is a perfect family movie.

spoiler alert! Exempt, since it is geared at little kids who are into "make-believe" stuff.

fyi: Sycamore Street and Elm Street are in the downtown area of Oakland, CA. They are about a mile away from each other.

The license plate which reads: RES1536, is attached to a yellow pick-up truck that delivers pizza for Pizza Planet and is shown, supposedly, in all Pixar movies except for THE INCREDIBLES ( but this is being debated over by fans on both sides of the argument ).

Back when we were still living in Kidapawan, Cotabato, Mindanao, Philippines, my mom's older brother, Tiyo Ernesto, who was already living in the United States, sent my eldest sister a gift: A life-size toddler doll that walked. Its box said, "Take my hand, I'll walk with you." Every once in a while, either one of my two sisters or I would carefully remove the doll from its package to take it out for a walk around the living room. We were very careful in handling that doll because it was a "one-of-a-kind" ( in the Philippines, that is ) "made-in-America" doll.

When it was time for us to come to The United States, I was surprised that my eldest sister didn't take the doll along with her. It would have been a "collector's item" by now and probably would have greatly appreciated in value.

I WANNA WORK FOR PIXAR!!!!!!! It's my dream-job.

word of advice: Brighten the life of a little kid by donating the toys that you've outgrown.

"Parting is such sweet sorrow." Shakespeare's Juliet

tidbits: I went to the main post office here in Vallejo, CA, to pick-up my "vacation hold" mail.

Those troll dolls remind me of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

Does Ken know that he's not "anatomically correct"? ( Ahem .... ) But Buzz is okay since he's got gadgets--why do you think he's named, "Buzz"? ( Ahem, again! ) And, as for Woody, the answer is in the name, itself! ( Ahem, one more time! )

I forgot to take a notebook with me when I went to see this movie. But I guess this is the excuse that I need to go see this movie at the AMC BAY STREET 16 in Emeryville, CA, since this is where any and every Pixar movie ought to be seen at.

After the movie, I went across the street to the Barnes & Noble bookstore to order three copies of the book, AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A YOGI, to give out so certain persons will know why I chose to become a Kriyaban yogi.

2nd tidbits: I went to Oakland, CA, to show my friend, Hector, how to get Live Chat Help on his magicJack and where to look for the "fix-it" and "upgrade" programs that a Live Chat tech sends out to fix the VoIp device.

At AMC, the box office clerk didn't give me my free small popcorn coupon. So I had to go to the customer service counter in order to get it. After all, have you seen the prices for popcorn lately?

There were so many people waiting in line for the TWILIGHT show. Not I; no sirree, Bob! I'll hold-off on watching this "Chick Flick"!

The TOY STORY 3 was about 15 minutes late in getting started because the projector, or something, failed to work four times as they tried to show the cheap "AVATAR rip-off" AMC Intro Clip. And because of it, I got to the toll booth seven minutes after midnight, at which time they had increased the toll fee by another dollar! And I missed seeing the midnight showing of THE LAST AIRBENDER here in Vallejo because of it, too!

THE KARATE KID ( 2010 ), PG ( 2 hr & 20 min )

where: AMC STAR GRAND RAPIDS 18 in Grand Rapids, MI
when: Thursday, June 17th, 2010
show: 8:30 p.m.
costs: $0.00 ( my sister's treat )
auditorium: 15
seat: 10 row, 6th column

synopsis: Twelve-year old Dre Parker ( Jaden Smith ) moves with his mom to China. And as is almost always the case whenever a new kid moves in, he becomes a target for a local bully who's a Kung Fu prodigy, Cheng ( Zhenwei Wang ). But a kind old maintenance man, Mr. Han ( Jackie Chan ), takes pity on him and teaches him real Kung Fu. With proper guidance, knowledge, and new-found skills, Dre develops the confidence to face-off against Cheng.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Detroit apartment; 2.) Plane ride; 3.) Beverly Hills Luxury Apartments; 4.) Mr. Han; 5.) Neighborhood playground; 6.) First day of school; 7.) Cafeteria; 8.) Instructional video; 9.) Interesting pole; 10.) Concert hall; 11.) Martial Arts Academy; 12.) Forbidden City; 13.) Splash; 14.) Rescue; 15.) Only bad teacher; 16.) Challenge; 17.) Real Kung Fu; 18.) Car in the living room; 19.) Jacket routine; 20.) Everybody knows; 21.) Festival; 22.) Everything is Kung Fu; 23.) Chi; 24.) Temple on top of mountain; 25.) Dragon well; 26.) Focus; 27.) Training; 28.) Playing hooky; 29.) Audition; 30.) Bad news; 31.) Car accident; 32.) Present; 33.) Promise kept; 34.) Elimination rounds; 35.) Rule book; 36.) "I don't want to be scared anymore"; 37.) "Injured Crane" technique; and 38.) Picture montage during the Ending Credits.

audience reaction: The audience and my sister and niece liked it.

recommendation: It's entertaining enough, and I would say that, martial arts-wise, it's a lot better than the original one. But there is quite a big lull in the middle of this movie--it should have been trimmed down a bit since, at two hours and twenty minutes long, there simply is not enough action going on to entertain the audience. Kids and Jackie Chan fans are the target audience for this remake.

My cheapskate friend, Hector, watched it on Movie2k.com and wasn't pleased with it. He said that it was dumb and too long. Well, he's dumb and too long in the tooth, too! Ha, ha, ha.

spoiler alert! That thing with the chopsticks--come on, now! I'm glad I don't eat with chopsticks when I go to Chinese buffets 'cause I don't know what they do with them behind my back. L.o.l. Why did Dre splash water on the other kids for? It simply didn't make sense since the other kids just wanted him to stay away. Why do the parents of the Kung Fu kids have them spar and compete without any protective gear on? At least four vulnerable areas of the upper body were exposed that could result in instant paralysis and/or death when hit with a well-aimed punch or kick! Not even the use of protective gear can sufficiently shield two of these four vulnerable areas from a deadly blow! I know since I've read reported cases in the newspapers and in martial arts magazines through the years. I can understand adding the field trip to the Forbidden City, but the work-out at the Great Wall was simply unnecessary.

fyi: Wushu is the correct term for Chinese Martial Arts.

The founder of Kung Fu was an Indian Buddhist monk, Tat Moh. When he traveled to China in 520 AD, he found the monks at a Chinese monastery in Shao Lin (i.e. Little Forest ) very weak and too out of shape to tackle the rigors of a monastic lifestyle. So, he retreated into a cave to meditate for about nine months and came out with what we now know as Chi Kung ( a.k.a. Qi Gong ) to increase the monks' health and vitality. Chi Kung is the foundation of Kung Fu. Based on Tat Moh's Chi ( or Prana, in Hindu ) exercises, the monks developed a fighting style called Lohon, which proved an effective deterrent to bandits which roamed the countryside and oftentimes preyed on Buddhist monks who had taken a vow of non-violence. Later on, when an emperor renounced his materialistic ways and became a Buddhist monk, he developed the Tiger style of Kung Fu, which was better than the Lohon. Then, the Monkey style was developed by the monks to counter the Tiger style. The Monkey style could beat both the Lohon and Tiger styles. But the monks wanted something else that could beat the Monkey style, so they developed the White Crane style, the most technically advanced and the best of all the styles developed at the Shao Lin monastery. Of course, other styles evolved from then on. But the deciding kick in the original KARATE KID ( 1984 ) as well as the final kick in this remake are both trademarked White Crane style kicks used to lure the enemy into attacking an injured White Crane stylist.

There is also this legend about the two Buddhist monks meditating by a river bank. The monks were unaware of each other's presence. As they meditated, a tiger came up to a white crane that was guarding its nest by the riverside. The animals fought--and I really don't know which prevailed upon the other, or whether or not it ended-up in a draw. But, back to the story .... One monk observed the tiger while the other monk observed the white crane. From that point on, one monk developed the Tiger style Kung Fu while the other one developed the White Crane style of Kung Fu.

From Chi Kung ( Qi Gong ) evolved the art of Tai Chi, as well. Don't be fooled into thinking that Tai Chi is not a Martial Art form. Once, I observed a Tai Chi master from far away; and as I watched him do his routine, I could sense his energy from quite a distance ( my years of meditation has made me keenly aware of my own energy flow, but this was the first and only time that I could sense somebody else's energy flow--and from quite a distance, at that! ). I remembered saying to myself, I sure would hate to pick a fight with that old fart because he can easily short-circuit my energy ( Chi, Qi or Prana ) flow, enough to paralyze me or instantly kill me!

I liked Jackie Chan's "passive-aggressive" style of Kung Fu that he used on the bad guys in this movie--it sure made for one entertaining fight scene. One thing that makes Jackie Chan's movies fun to watch is his improvisational inventiveness.

The Great Wall of China has bodies of the prisoners-of-war and/or slaves who were forced to build it buried under each section of the wall.

I had a Chinese co-worker in Oakland, CA, who took Kung Fu lessons for over seven years while he lived in China. He told me that in China, if you want to learn advanced Kung Fu from a monk, it might just have to be in exchange for a "sexual favor"--his words, not mine!

There is one other reason why this remake was not titled KUNG FU KID, instead. Jaden actually knows Karate and had started taking lessons since he was about four years old. So the KARATE KID title plays on that fact in this "fish-out-of-water-type" of story.

word of advice: Be smart, always wear protective gear whenever you're sparring and/or competing.

tidbits: I was in Grand Rapids, Michigan, for about a week. I went sight-seeing with my sister and her family.

Tuesday: At the Oakland International Airport in Oakland, CA, my two cans of Gandules ( Pigeon Peas ) were confiscated by the TSA. I was gonna make some Arroz Con Gandules with it since my niece requested that I make it, but I guessed that I will just have to substitute Garbanzo Beans for it since the security had me in a pinch.

When I arrived in Grand Rapids, it was in the thick of a rainstorm. My niece was right after all: It always rains whenever I show-up in Grand Rapids! As my sister and I walked to her Ford Expedition in the airport's parking garage, we could see the manhole covers rattling and looking like they were about to pop-up into the air because of all that water rushing through the underground pipes.

On the way to my sister's house, she said that she wasn't feeling well and was a little dizzy because of ear wax build-up. She made an appointment for the next day with her doctor to have her ears cleaned-out. I never had mine done by a doctor. I guess that I should make an appointment with my primary care physician for an ear cleaning. Who knows, maybe it will get rid of the ringing in my ears which I've had since I was about 11 years of age.

Wednesday: My sister was feeling much better after her doctor's appointment. Her doctor used Colace in her ears--you know, as in ... stool softener. Ha, ha, ha.

Good news! My sister found some Gandules at the local grocery store.

Bad news! The brand is not the kind that comes with the recipe for Arroz Con Gandules printed on the side of the label. I will just have to figure out the ingredients and proportions through memory.

After 1:00 p.m., we hit the road for a trip down south to Indiana. We had a quick bite to eat for lunch at a Burger King drive-through somewhere. I had the Whiplash Burger meal.

We arrived at the Shipshewana, Indiana, flea market--supposedly the third biggest flea market in the country--about two hours before closing time. My sister bought some stuff. And we came upon a stall operated by a West African man selling African Soap and Shea Butter. My sister bought some of both to try out.

Amish people were everywhere at this flea market. They've modernized themselves, somewhat. I saw a bunch of them riding around in bicycles--the Mormons are gonna have some serious competition pretty soon. And I even saw one Amish girl texting on her cellphone as she headed for the ladies' room.

Speaking of Amish girls, I was checking them out to see if there were any likely marriage candidates among them, since I prefer virtuous, old-fashioned girls. And I know that some of them are at that stage of life ( called, Rumspringa ) wherein they're allowed to date outsiders. But we happened upon a bakery stall operated by an Amish family. And the Amish lady had mottled and jagged teeth, the signs of severe dental fluorosis! That "smile" was enough to put an end to my "prospecting" way--Yuck! ( Severe dental fluorosis is a good argument against the use of fluoridated tap water and toothpaste! )

We, then, headed on to Middlebury, Indiana, to the Das Dutchman Essenhaus Restaurant, where they serve an Amish-style dinner. The place was packed. Whoever owns this place must be making some serious dough! But, whether or not they're Amish, I don't know. I bought a refrigerator magnet as a souvenir.

On the drive back to Grand Rapids, Michigan, I whipped-out my tally-counting clicker so I could do my "Million Mantra". No, it doesn't turn you into a millionaire; you have to recite the mantra a million times. Hence, the name. It's also called, "Zhunti Mantra", by the way. And, in case you are wondering, I hit the 729,000 mark by the end of the day ( it took me 12 days short of two years to get to this mark ).

Thursday: I drove my niece to her school, West Catholic High School in Grand Rapids, were she is taking driver's ed class. On the drive over, we talked about her UFO sighting and, also, about ghosts. She has seen a number of ghosts, but she has quite a ways to go if she wants to beat my record for ghosts/entities sightings: I've seen hundreds--literally!

After I dropped her off, I went driving around. I took a picture of what I call "The Murder House" where a Goth teen killed his mother and sisters, and even sexually-violated the body of his older sister. This place is just a few yards away from an old cemetery which is in-between the front yard of the two houses next to it. How'd you like to live there? I didn't think so. Which is why these houses are always up for rent! ( Years ago, in East Oakland, CA, my family lived in an house just behind a mortuary; and I had quite a number of bad encounters at that place. )

Then I went to Walgreens Drugstore, the former sight of my sister's office. And I went to Plumbs' Grocery Store. As I was leaving, I got a call from my sister to pick up her daughter two hours earlier than planned because the driver's ed car broke down so the class was to be let-off early.

I went to pick-up my niece at 1:00 p.m. We took a different route on the way home so she could show me the farmer's field where she saw the UFO two or three years ago.

For dinner, we went to Golden Corral Buffet for their "grand opening day". It really is a bad idea to go to a restaurant's first day of business because the staff is inexperienced and the equipment is yet untried. And just as I expected, something happened so they had to close shop early. But not before we had our fill.

We were gonna see THE KARATE KID after dinner. But nobody bothered to check the movie listings for the scheduled times. So we drove back home so my niece could look it up on the computer. Why none of us thought about checking the movie's schedule on our cellphones, I simply don't know. My brother-in-law decided to stay home since he's the "early-to-bed-and-early-to-rise" kind of guy. So, it was just my sister, my niece and I who went to see the movie.

Friday: We headed-off to my sister's cottage by the lake at Stony Lake, Michigan, to rendezvous with her husband who arrived there first with their two Jack Russel dogs, Gromit and Lady. Four years ago, the last time that I was here, I carved my name on a freshly cemented section of the curb; but I couldn't find my name anywhere on that part of the curb anymore.

We went to Silver Lake, Michigan, for dinner at the Sands Restaurant. After which, my sister drove us to this dead end street so we could climb up a sand hill. I protested, saying that we just ate dinner and there was no way in the world that they could get me to climb that steep sand hill and take a chance at getting a massive coronary--no way, Jose!

We decided to just head on back to their cottage at Stony Lake. By the way, the cottage next door is owned by the in-laws of George Wendt ( a.k.a. Norm Peterson of TV's CHEERS ). We stopped-off at a convenience store near the lake to buy some stuff for the next day's get-together. And we had some ice cream before going to the cottage.

By the way, Al Capone's former vacation home is just about one-and-a-half miles away from my sister's cottage. It overlooks Lake Michigan.

I decided to cook a pot-full of Arroz Con Gandules before retiring for bed. That way, all I will have to make for the following day is my super-delicious Carrots With Raisins, fresh from scratch.

At the cottage, we watched G.I. JOE, AVATAR, and an old TV series, TALES OF THE GOLDEN MONKEY, both on DVD. My sister's "couch potato" Jack Russel, Gromit, barks at the TV screen whenever he sees a dog shown in it. This old TV show has a one-eyed dog named, Jack. After about an hour of watching this show, Gromit figured out that the TV dog goes by the name of Jack. So, whenever a TV character would call for Jack, Gromit would run up to the TV set to bark at the dog.

Saturday: I started the day with a cup of coffee with milk in it, and some Monkey Bread, since I've never had such a bread before.

Then, my brother-in-law and I went to a little hardware store so he could buy some stuff for use around the cottage. I told him that I had a Carving Trike cambering scooter on order and just waiting for me when I get back home. Next, we stopped-off at the Stony Lake convenience store where he bought some fish bait and where I bought some hot sauce for my Arroz Con Gandules and a quart of Hudsonville "Rainbow" ice cream for the next day's get-together.

Shortly after we both got back to the cottage, my sister, my niece and I went to Whitehall, Michigan, for the Arts and Crafts Fair. On the way over, I told them that Gromit curled up next to my face in bed a couple of days ago then farted! My sister and niece both told me that that is what he usually does, and that Lady burps all the time. What a perfect couple their two dogs make. At the fair, my sister bought an artwork from a paraplegic who uses his teeth, only, to hold a pencil as he draws his pictures. All the while that we were there, we were entertained by songs which I thought were those of John Denver on CDs but, as it turned out, it was actually all a live performance by some singer. The West African man, again, was there selling his African Soap and Shea Butter. He recognized my sister. And my sister bought more of the two from him since she really liked these toiletries.

As my niece and I waited for my sister to fetch the SUV at PinHeads, an out-of-business bowling alley's handicap zone ( a cop on bike patrol told her it was a "no-no" when she inquired of him ), I decided to have some ice cream while my niece waited in line for her lemonade. I took a lactase pill for " just in case".

Then, we went to Doug Born's convenience store and smokehouse to buy some smoked chubs and salmon. But they didn't have either one ready yet. So my sister just ended-up buying some Teriyaki Beef Jerky ( My brother-in-law, later, said that it was more "smoked" than it was "jerky" ).

We went to Lewis Farms next to check out the menagerie of animals they have in their petting zoo. We also drove by Gromit's "ancestral place".

The next stop was Country Dairy in New Era, Michigan, where my sister bought some cheese curds, and where we had some ice cream. I didn't take any lactase pill this time around because I figured I was okay.

Back at the cottage, I made my delicious Carrots With Raisins--my closely-guarded secret ingredients to which, I had to divulge.

Then, my sister's parents-in-law arrived promptly at 4:00 p.m.

And my sister made some Beef Sheskebabs for the first time, using metal skewers. Once my brother-in-law set-up the grill, I cooked the kebabs. When it was time to turn the kebabs over, I foolishly used my fingers--we're talking instant branding iron marks on my right thumb, index and middle fingers here. Luckily for me, I don't burn easy. The heat just left indentation marks on the affected digits. I didn't even bother to dunk my fingers in ice water since I knew that they will never blister at all, thanks to a special prayer which I've been using for years that keeps me from getting burned--this prayer doesn't work on sunburn and roof-of-mouth burn, though ( I don't know why; I'll have to do something about that someday ).

And, next, it was my brother-in-law's turn to use the grill as he slapped-on some rib-eye steaks. My sister fixed the table and heated-up the Arroz Con Gandules in the microwave.

As we sat and ate, the in-laws commented that they liked my Arroz Con Gandules and my Carrots With Raisins. ( In other words, give us the recipes or else ...! ) Then, we all had some ice cream which I bought the day before. I had a lactase pill this time around.

A short time later, I wasn't feeling well and had to excuse myself to use the bathroom. When I got out of there, I found out that my brother-in-law, his father, my niece and the two dogs were all waiting for me because we were going to ride their pontoon boat around the lake as they go fishing. I had told my sister earlier that I didn't want to go fishing since I'd just feel sorry for the fish. So, on this boat trip, I was hoping and praying that they wouldn't catch any "keeper-size" fish. And I was feeling miserable on that boat because of indigestion and abdominal bloating.

Finally, the day was coming to an end. It was about 9:00 p.m. when we got back to the cottage--and it was still daylight outside. And no "keeper-size" fish--Yay! I had some Pepto-Bismol tablets for my upset stomach. I came prepared with a contingency plan for this vacation, mind you. But I still felt miserable all through the night as I wondered why my lactase pills and Pepto-Bismol tablets had no effect on me at all. It didn't help me any that the bedroom I was assigned to had no table lamp at all and was pitch-black when I turned-off the light--I'll be sure to bring a nightlight and a flashlight next time I come here so I don't go fumbling and tumbling in the dark.

Sunday: We had to leave early to make the most of the day. But we still ended-up hitting the road at around 11:00 a.m. And I was still feeling miserable, what with my indigestion and bloated stomach.

After my brother-in-law dropped-off the dogs at their house and after we unloaded the SUV, we went to Crockery Lake, Michigan, to check-out their other cottage by the lake which they bought after they sold their cottage next door to my brother-in-law's youngest brother. My sister said that this cottage will be their retirement home after they have it torn down to build a bigger and better cottage in its place.

Afterwards, we drove to Muskegon, Michigan, to eat dinner at Asian Buffet & Grill. This restaurant, which is in-between another Golden Corral Buffet and a pizza buffet, is probably the biggest buffet restaurant that I've ever been to--and it was packed with hungry people. This place is always busy, according to my sister. We had to wait about 30 minutes before we could be seated. As we ate, I had to mind myself since my pre-existing stomach condition might worsen if I gorged on too much food. I had to excuse myself at one point to use the men's room. But they only had one toilet, and it was occupied--imagine that, such a big place and only one toilet! I had to forcibly curtail my appetite so that I wouldn't have any "accident" on the way home.

My sister gave me some African Soap and Shea Butter to take home later that night.

Monday: I had to wake-up by 8:00 a.m. to shower and pack my things for my return flight in the afternoon. And I was still feeling miserable.

At 10:30 a.m., I drove my niece to her school for driver's ed. On the way back to the house, I made a quick trip to the "Murder House" area to take a picture of the old cemetery in-between the front yard of the two neighboring houses. And I picked my niece up at 1:00 p.m. We talked some more about the entities that she and I, each, saw through the years. And there seems to be a constant: A short and skinny "shadow" man entity is haunting us both. I'd like to get to the bottom of this someday, sooner or later. Anyway, when we got back to the house, my niece drew sketches of four of the entities which she had seen. I kept the drawings.

I made her a telekinetic aid to help her increase her psychic abilities. I first learned about this aid when I was her age: fifteen. So I figured that I'd pass it on to her. If she practices on it, the next time that I see her, I will show her how to use her new-found skill to manipulate the wind.

My sister came home from work at around 2:00 p.m. so she could drop me off at the airport. She told me that she wanted to take me out to lunch, first, at a Chinese buffet. I told her, No. I wanted to eat light since my stomach, still, wasn't feeling well. So, we just ate at a Quizno's Restaurant ( the first time for me ) at the airport after I checked-in my luggage and got my boarding tickets. I only ate half of my sandwich. And I had to excuse myself to use the men's room because I didn't want to have to go use the toilet on the plane on the flight to Denver, Colorado.

Soon, it was time for me to leave as we hugged and said our "Goodbyes" to each other.

Less than two hours into the flight, we experienced severe turbulence. The plane not only bounced up and down, but it also twisted left and right! I really thought the plane was going to crash, so much so that instead of doing my Million Mantra, I switched to doing the Mantra For Safety While Traveling. Boy, I guess they don't call it, "The Rockies", for nothing!

I ate the other half of my sandwich in Denver, Colorado, as I waited for my connecting flight to Oakland, California. And I went to a souvenir shop to buy some refrigerator magnets. I also called my sister to tell her about the bouncy flight.

The Oakland-bound plane was six seats across, two seats wider than the earlier plane. So the flight to Oakland was relatively smoother. Which was good since I still had an upset stomach.

I noticed that on all my flights, all the female flight attendants were plain-looking and/or old and fat! Whatever happened to the stewardesses? I hope they bring back the stewardesses since they are hot, young and sexy compared to female flight attendants.

And I was just thinking that the airport shuttle bus drivers must make lots of money on tips alone! I'd better inquire into this.

At the Expresso Airport Parking Garage, I decided to have some decaf and a muffin since my stomach was feeling slightly better and because they were free! Heck, I paid for them. I also got a free San Francisco Chronicle so I could check-out the movie listings to see if I had enough time to catch a movie before going home. But I didn't have any time for a movie at all.

I swung by the Wal-Mart's in San Leandro, California, to buy some safety gear ( elbow pads, knee pads and gloves ) for my Carving Trike scooter. I also bought a bag of dog food and two 2-litre bottles of soda.

Next, I went to Lucky's Supermarket in the Fruitvale district of East Oakland, California, to buy some french bread and bananas.

And I swung by Hector's place in East Oakland to drop-off the french bread, dog food and sodas. One of his sons had fixed dinner for me: Sweet & Sour Pork, rice, and a custard pudding for dessert. I gave Hector a refrigerator magnet souvenir. And I recounted for them the bouncy flight. And his son, the one who fixed me dinner, said that he had a similar experience on a flight to Los Angeles, California; but he sang, "La Bamba," through the turbulence. And both father and son teased me about being a "scaredy cat" when I'm supposed to be a yogi--heck, I'm just a 1st-stage yogi so I'm not that detached, yet, from my own ego. Anyway, I told them that I had best be on the road because I had to get home before midnight, otherwise I'd turn into a Puerto Rican like them! Ha, ha, ha.

Only when I finally got home did I realize why I was miserable with an upset stomach and felt bloated for three days: For the better part of my vacation, I was on antibiotic medication! I will know better next time ....

MARMADUKE, PG ( 1 hr & 27 min )

where: AMC VAN NESS 14 in San Francisco, CA
when: Monday, June 14th, 2010
show: 11:45 a.m.
costs: $6.00 Ticket + $8.10 Bart Train Ticket + $1.00 Bart Parking Fee + $4.00 Carquinez Bridge Toll = $19.10
auditorium: 9, on the 4th Floor
seat: 4th row, 6th column

synopsis: A family, the Winslows, moves to Orange County, CA, with their cat and dog. The dog, Marmaduke, has a hard time adjusting. Awkward moments and chaos ensue.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Doggy door; 2.) "Wait for it"; 3.) Ejector; 4.) Company car; 5.) Bark Park; 6.) "I was a lawyer"; 7.) Pig-cow; 8.) Dance machine; 9.) Bosco's party; 10.) Surfer; 11.) Doggy make-over; 12.) Mock fight; 13.) Dog surfing contest; 14.) Dog training; 15.) Junkyard; 16.) New clique; 17.) "My wife's rule"; 18.) Party gone awry; 19.) Lap top; 20.) Old Yeller; 21.) Day after; 22.) Broken water main; 23.) Aqueduct; 24.) Dalmatian dog; 25.) "It's Mr. Winslow"; 26.) "Claiming the spot"; 27.) Bee; 28.) Dancing dogs; and 29.) One last time.

audience reaction: None. I was the only one in the auditorium. And I almost dozed-off a few times.

recommendation: This is for kids who love dogs, especially the kind of dogs that talk and dance.

spoiler alert! Since this is primarily aimed at the very juvenile crowd, I shall skip on the details. Suffice it to say that two things predominate this movie: Bathroom Humor and Advertising for a Pet-Store Chain!

fyi: One of my friends had a Rottweiler once. He trained it to fart in a crowd. It was not uncommon for that dog, Dozer, to walk across the living room as we're all watching TV and to "break wind" quite audibly for all of us to hear. But if a Rottweiler wants to fart, who am I to tell it, "No!" huh ...?

The first and only other time that I was here at AMC Van Ness 14 was about 9 or 10 years ago.

word of advice: Pets are family, too!

If you're a sufficiently good-looking enough kind of guy, don't go walking down Polk Street in San Francisco or you'll be solicited by members of the wrong sex. It happened to me 9 or 10 years ago. I avoided this particular street like the plague this time around!

tidbits: The first thing that I did today was to go to CSAA to make a payment on my monthly car insurance because I might be driving around in Michigan these next few days and the post office prematurely put all my mail on hold so that I couldn't mail my payment in. Also, I made sure to get an Indiana map this time around.

When I arrived at the El Cerrito Del Norte Bart Station, I noticed that they now have a week-day parking fee between 4 a.m. and 3 p.m. And they changed the automated turnstiles somewhat so that I had a hard time getting through. In frustration, I asked an approaching passenger how the thing works. She told me to go through the one with a green light on--I guess that that's supposed to be self-explanatory. Duh ....

Then I asked the booth agent where I should go for my parking fee for parking space # 1363. He gave me a round-about answer so that he finally had to accompany me to the parking fee machine to show me how it works. Well, that made it two "Duhs" for me.

I got off at the Powell Street station at around 9:50 a.m. And as I was adding value to my ticket, a middle-aged Chinese lady was singing for "spare change" Bette Midler's, "The Rose" , in an off-key and "bored" way. Who knows, she might be related to William Hung, my idol. I put two quarters in her "tip/alms" hat for her efforts.

Then, I walked up Powell Street to the nearby Burger King for breakfast. The security guard posted at the door must have been, at least, seven feet tall! Holy, Goliath! For my meal, I ordered the # 4: Breakfast Wrap with Decaf ( plus 6 sugar packets, 3 creams, and 4 ketchup packs ) for a grand total of $5.79.

After breakfast, I walked up Powell Street to make a left on Post Street. I talked to my friend, Hector, on my cellphone, partway up the street.

I had a doctor's appointment today in San Francisco, just two and a half blocks away from this cinema. So I decided to "kill two birds with one stone."

I got a Free Small Popcorn on my movie watcher card. But I'm saving that freebie for Thursday, when I'm in Grand Rapids, Michigan, with my sister and her family, where we're gonna watch the KARATE KID movie.

I was just gonna buy a small soda, but there was nobody at the concession counter on the fourth floor. So I just skipped on this one and made a bee-line for the auditorium.

Strange as it may sound, there are actually streets in San Francisco where you can detect the scent of marijuana wafting in the air! I could smell it in three or four places--that, and human urine!

As I continued on down Hyde Street towards the Civic Center Bart Station, this skinny Chinese guy who's a few inches taller than I am beat me at walking! I can walk at a pretty good clip, but I guess he had the advantage of having a longer stride. I lengthened my stride a bit to keep pace with him. But the ball of my feet started to feel like they were about to get blistered so I slowed down to my usual pace just as he made a left down a side street from the United Nations plaza.

At the Civic Center Bart Station, this teenage blonde asked me if I had a dollar. I said, No. People, if you ask for money, don't go walking around with the attitude that the world owes you something--that's not how it works. Be polite! And, remember ... "Beggars can't be choosers."

I was gonna head on home after the movie, but I changed my mind and swung by the El Cerrito Safeway because I haven't been to that store in, at least, 16 years. I bought a can of Safeway evaporated milk, two 2-Litre Safeway sodas ( Diet and Root Beer ) and two Safeway French Bread Loaves. Then, I dropped them off at my friend, Hector's, place in Oakland since he's addicted to Safeway French Bread!

After dinner, I left promptly since I still had a "last-minute" shopping to do and because I still had to finish packing for my vacation trip.

I hope that, together, both of my bags will weigh under 50 pounds or I'll be charged extra by United Airlines.

THE A-TEAM, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 57 min )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Friday, June 11th, 2010
show: 12:00 p.m. ( Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee )
costs: $6.25 Ticket + $5.25 small Popcorn ( w/ Butter ) + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Cherry flavor ) Coke = $15.50
auditorium: 1
seat: 4th row, 5th column

synopsis: The members of an elite Army Rangers unit in Iraq are framed for a crime that they didn't commit. And they will go to any length to clear their name. ( Emphasis on "any". )

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Abusive Mexican police; 2.) Hungry dogs; 3.) Auto "chop shop"; 4.) Ranch; 5.) Fellow rangers; 6.) Rolling tires; 7.) Helicopter chase; 8.) US air space; 9.) Barbecue; 10.) Engravement plates; 11.) "Body armor in HQ"; 12.) "Assassins in polo shirts"; 13.) Parts and supplies; 14.) Convoy; 15.) Set-up; 16.) Court martial; 17.) Not subject to military jurisdiction; 18.) Stripped of rank & dishonorably discharged; 19.) Prison deal; 20.) Crematorium; 21.) Tanning booth; 22.) Lynch's ( Patrick Wilson ) jammers; 23.) License plates; 24.) Exit door; 25.) New 'do; 26.) 3-D movie; 27.) Tarmac; 28.) Battle tank; 29.) "How's my driving"; 30.) Old couple at the lake; 31.)" Where's Berlin"; 32.) Unscrambled security photo; 33.) 'Phone call; 34.) Photo booth; 35.) Bank building "snatch and shoot-out"; 36.) Cornered; 37.) Double-crosser; 38.) Tracked; 39.) "Death's too easy"; 40.) Bombed "no-fly" zone; 41.) Extradition order; 42.) "Collude and cut me off"; 43.) "It's not a silencer; it's a suppressor"; 44.) "You believe in second chances"; 45.) "Huge banana"; 46.) Switched passports; 47.) Sea plane; 48.) "Overkill is under-rated"; 49.) Gandhi; 50.) Switcharoo; 51.) Distraction, Diversion, Division; 52.) Exploding cargo ship; 53.) Mohawk; 54.) "On display"; 55.) "I feel sane"; 56.) "Make Hannibal ( Liam Neeson ) make the plans next time"; 57.) "My name's Lynch"; 58.) Key; and 59.) Two bonus scenes after the Ending Credits: A cameo scene and an earlier Murdoch ( Sharlto Copley ) scene.

audience reaction: The audience enjoyed this movie adaptation of the '80s show.

recommendation: It's good enough for the Action/Comedy film crowd.

spoiler alert! This movie goes way overboard in the over-the-top action and the perfectly-timed-to-the-last-second rescues. And just like what Army Captain Charisa Sosa ( Jessica Biel ) says 23 minutes and 33 seconds into the movie, "They specialize in the ridiculous." Ridiculous means, absurd and laughable. Bearing these in mind, here are the other things wrong with this movie:

How was Hannibal able to overcome and restrain two hungry dogs in the dark? Humans cannot see in the dark but dogs can. Does Hannibal channel Saint Francis of Assisi? If you're shooting at a dozen or so fixed targets while you're bouncing around in the back of a van, your targets have a better chance, than you, of scoring a hit. After the Humvee exploded, why were there no proper dental records and dog tags recovered? How did Hannibal and cohorts know exactly when the 3-D movie started playing? The dogfight scene and the battle tank scene both used live ammo--the director should have, at least, shown where the rounds made their hits--but we, the audience, don't know if the rounds hit structures or animals or humans or whatever .... The tank should have gotten stuck in the muddy lake-bed. How come the tank didn't fill-up with water? How were they able to drive it up from the bottom of the lake? "Face" ( Bradley Cooper ) casually fired-off a few rounds in a crowded airport without regard for the consequential "ricochet effect". The bad guy ( I forget his name ) rappelled down the building in an improvised way using his jacket which should have been cut-through by the friction burn--and probably his glove, too! The movie does not explain how Murdoch was able to converse in an African language. Don't those passports have pictures on them? I ask because B. A. Baracus ( Quinton "Rampage" Jackson ) does not come across as a "Jewish rabbi" to me. In a much later scene, B. A. Baracus' right arm had no gunshot scar on it--even a flesh-wound can leave a scar, you know. Why was an electro-shock therapy ( a.k.a. "Electroconvulsive Shock Treatment" ) administered on Murdoch when it's only used, still controversially, on mental patients who suffer from severe depression? Murdoch didn't look depressed to me in this movie--just the opposite!

fyi: In his review for this film, one movie critic, Christopher Kelly ( of the McClatchy Newspapers group ), calls Bradley Cooper a "graduate of the Matthew McConaughey school" of acting; you know, as in ... take off your shirt, smile at the camera and bare your man-boobs at the audience! Ha, ha, ha--how funny--and it would, perhaps, be even more funnier except that it's a factually true observation of his!

Mahatma Gandhi and I belong to the same Kriya Yoga movement: He was of the SRF branch, and I'm of the YSS branch.

I love the crematorium scene, the fighter plane canopy destruction scene, and the battle tank scene.

I never watched the TV show because Mr. T came across as too loud and flashily-blinged for me.

word of advice: Good men are not expendable "chess pieces". ( "Expendable" sounds like a good title for an action movie--wait a minute ... I just remembered, a movie by the same title is coming out. )

Electroconvulsive Shock Treatment breaks bones and fries brains!

tidbits: After the movie, I swung by the local Pep-Boys to look at their motor-scooter selection, their helmets and their battery chargers. Then, I went to Chase Bank to make a deposit. Then, I went to Kinko's to make some copies. Then, I went to CSAA to get a Michigan map--but I forgot to get an Indiana map since I need both for next week's trip. Then, I went to Chevron on the corner of Couch Street and Redwood Street to get the Friday edition of the Contra Costa newspaper and $7.19 worth of regular gas for my Geo Metro. Then, I went to BofA to make a deposit. And, then, I went to the Dollar Tree store to buy some snacks to eat on the plane since they don't serve food on any of my scheduled flights for next week. Finally, I went to have a light dinner at Empire Chinese Buffet.

One of the workers at the buffet, a Filipina lady, asked me if I worked today. I told her, No, that I was on vacation and that I'll be leaving for Michigan in a few days. And I told her that in Grand Rapids, MI, there's a Chinese buffet with the same name. She laughed--but I hope that she didn't hurt herself doing that since she was on her way home early because of a splitting headache. ( Not now! Cine-Man. I've got a headache! Ha, ha, ha. )

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO, R ( 2 hrs & 32 mins )

where: GUILD THEATRE in Menlo Park, CA
when: Sunday, June 6th, 2010
show: 4:30 p.m.
costs: $9.75 Ticket + $4.25 small Diet Coke + $4.00 Carquinez Bridge Toll = $18.00
auditorium: 1 ( and only one, since this is an old, one-screen theatre )
seat: 4th row, center section, 5th column

synopsis: A wealthy old man, Henrik Vanger ( Sven-Bertil Taube ) , haunted by the possible murder of his favorite niece, Harriet Vanger ( Ewa Froling ), by one of his own relatives forty years ago, hires the services of a disgraced journalist, Mikael Blomkvist ( Michael Nyqvist ), and a disturbed and tattooed computer hacker, Lisbeth Salander ( Roomi Rapace ). But as both of them dig deeper and deeper into the case, they uncover dark family secrets that could very well cost them their own lives.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The yearly package; 2.) Libel suit; 3.) Photographer; 4.) Lisbeth Salander; 5.) Swedish meatballs; 6.) Father's former employer; 7.) Old news reel; 8.) Newly-appointed guardian; 9.) The attic; 10.) Letter of resignation; 11.) Computer hacking; 12.) Ganged-up on; 13.) Computer hard drive; 14.) Research for clues; 15.) Former Nazis; 16.) Nobody and everybody; 17.) Cecilia Vanger ( Marika Lagercrantz ); 18.) There is no answer; 19.) Spying on computer hacker; 20.) Abusing trust; 21.) Soap and water; 22.) Photo archives; 23.) Frame by frame; 24.) The killer; 25.) Lured away; 26.) Handcuffed and raped; 27.) Camera girl; 28.) Norsjo Carpentry shop; 29.) Honeymoon snap shots; 30.) Taste of his own "medicine"; 31.) New computer; 32.) Send e-mail; 33.) Bible reference from the book of Leviticus 20:16; 34.) Hospital visit; 35.) New partner; 36.) Kia Sportage rental car; 37.) Pinioned and tortured; 38.) Magda's case; 39.) Dream; 40.) Tuna Motel [ how funny is this "sexual-reference " name for a motel! ]; 41.) Jimmied lock; 42.) Photographic memory; 43.) Quickie sex; 44.) Updating Henrik; 45.) Gustav Morell ( Bjorn Granath ); 46.) Vanger Group; 47.) Necklace; 48.) Anita; 49.) Plague; 50.) Sniper; 51.) Security cameras; 52.) "It's on the internet"; 53.) Last one; 54.) Jewish names; 55.) Vanger Group accounts and records; 56.) Breaking and entering; 57.) Blue sweater; 58.) Pattern; 59.) Killer; 60.) Like father, like son; 61.) The chase; 62.) Crash; 63.) Flashback; 64.) Photographic evidence; 65.) "'Not finished yet" ; 66.) Australia; 67.) The visit; 68.) The surprise; 69.) Secret confession; 70.) Paper trail; 71.) Cayman Islands bank account ; and 72.) Mystery woman.

Okay, this officially makes it "The Most Entries" for Noteworthy Scenes! Whew! Foreign subtitled films, I swear ....

audience reaction: The audience liked this sub-titled Detective/Murder-Mystery/Thriller movie.

recommendation: I liked it, too. And I would highly recommend it to fans of such genres.

spoiler alert! Why didn't the pervert yell for help when he had the chance? The sniper had the advantage of knowing the lay of the land and could have easily taken down his prey. Why did they let the bad guy make a run for it? The girl who got away could/should have reported the whole thing to the authorities years ago. If someone was trying to kill me and I got the better on him, I'd finish him off or, at least, incapacitate him one way or another. If I'm in a car and somebody was chasing me down on a motorcycle, I'd simply put a smile on my face and ... Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha. Take that, you punk!

fyi: It ain't no Swedish film if it ain't got no Swedish Meatballs! Just like with Italian movies in which they show Pizza and/or Pasta dishes, a real Swedish movie, I guess, must have Swedish Meatballs--and this one has it! And Mikael even gave a tip on how to form a meatball. But why couldn't he just use a bowl of water instead of running the tap water? Better yet, he should just have coated his hands with oil first. But I digress, yet again, so I'll just shut-up on this subject now.

I guess the Swedes prefer to use Apple Computers, or maybe it's just an advertising gimmick. Hmm ....

The Guild Theatre is an historic landmark. It was originally built in 1926 as a burlesque house. In the 1940s, it was converted to show movies with a soundtrack. It has a very tiny lobby with the concession counter and ticket "booth" on one side and the men's and women's rooms on the opposite side. I don't think much was changed about this place, structure-wise, since it first opened 84 years ago--except for the screen, sound system and theatre seats, of course. It's as if you go back in time when you step into this itsy-bitsy place.

When you drive down the El Camino Real strip from Menlo Park, to Palo Alto and part-way down Mountain View, you'll notice that a bunch of "Psychics" have set-up shop on either side of the street. I guess I know now why Stanford University is such a prestigious university: The students get good grades on their exams with the help of psychics. Now I know where to go for higher education!

word of advice: Don't keep skeletons in your closet.

tidbits: After watching GET HIM TO THE GREEK and checking-in at Menlo Park's Mermaid Inn ( $68.20 for the over-night stay ), I realized that I had enough time to walk one and a half blocks to the Guild Theatre to check out the place and its featured movie after I looked-up my copy of the San Francisco Chronicle's movie guide list.

After I got out of the theatre, I was gonna walk two blocks further up to the MacDonald's Restaurant. But I changed my mind after much deliberation. I headed back toward Mermaid Inn and made a quick trip to the Menlo Park Safeway, adjacent to the inn, to buy something to eat for dinner.

At Safeway, I bought a 12 ounce size of raw and unfiltered Madhava Mountain Gold Clover Honey ( $2.99 ), a 33.8 ounce Refreshe bottled water ( $0.89 + $0.10 CRV tax ), an 8.75 ounce Signature Cafe Quinoa Berry & Spinach Layered Salad ( $3.59 ) and a deli "all natural" Chicken Thigh ( $2.29 ), for a grand total of $10.07. What I found odd was the woman who got me the chicken at the deli counter: She didn't say anything--or smiled, for that matter--after she handed me the piece and just gave me a "look". I guess she's used to serving rich Menlo Park/Palo Alto people who buy more than one piece of chicken from her! Damn, why couldn't I have been a Safeway Secret Shopper!

When I walked into my room, #26, I turned on the air conditioner since it was hot in there. And I decided to do my Kriya Yoga before having dinner. After my yoga, I changed my mind and got in my car to go to MacDonald's to grab a bite to eat, instead.

At MacDonald's, I decided on the Grilled Chicken Southwest Salad ( $4.39 ) and a cup of Sweet Tea ( $1.00 ), for a total of $5.89 with "eat-in" tax included. I wonder if I could have save myself the extra $0.50 had I ordered my meal "to-go". But maybe they'd just impose a "to-go" tax on it, too! What a con-job the government is running. Anyway, I asked for a couple of mini-tubbed coffee creamer to put in my sweet tea because it was just too darn sweet for me.

The other reason why I went to MacDonald's was because I wanted to buy a "Fiona" drinking glass to complete my SHREK Collection. But they didn't have any because it was recalled since the paints used had Cadmium in them, I later found out from reading the Friday, June 5th, edition of the San Francisco Chronicle that I brought with me on this overnight stay at Menlo Park. Hell, I'm keeping my three glasses with me since they're bound to be real collector's items down the road--for sure!

As for the stuff that I bought at Safeway, I had them the following day for breakfast and for lunch with the two really-ripe bananas that I brought with me on this trip. Today, June 9th, I still have not finished-up on the honey. I get my "sugar fix" on it every now and then--never mind what I said earlier about the sweet tea!

P.S. I put in $16.00 worth of regular gas in my Hyundai Accent for my overnight stay in Menlo Park. But $13.00 worth of gas would have been enough.

GET HIM TO THE GREEK, R ( 1 hr & 49 mins )

where: CENTURY 20 DOWNTOWN REDWOOD CITY in Redwood City, CA

when: Sunday, June 6th, 2010

show: 1:35 p.m.

costs: $8.25 Ticket + $4.25 junior Popcorn ( w/ Butter ) + $4.00 small Diet Coke + $2.90 small Chai Tea Latte @ Redwood City Safeway Starbucks + $4.00 Dumbarton Bridge Toll = $23.40

auditorium: 10

seat: 7th row, 5th seat

synopsis: A record company intern, Aaron Green ( Jonah Hill ), has a simple task: Get Aldous Snow ( Russell Brand ) to the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles, CA, in time for his 10th anniversary concert. But the drug-addled idol has other plans in this raunchy road trip movie.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) "African Child" music video; 2.) TV interview; 3.) Tabloid/news; 4.) Aaron's bedroom; 5.) Meeting; 6.) Your f---ing mommy; 7.) Break-up; 8.) Hanging-out; 9.) Night club; 10.) The loo; 11.) Hotel; 12.) Remembering Sarah Marshall; 13.) Movie set; 14.) The Today Show; 15.) Forgotten lyrics; 16.) Got The Clap; 17.) 'Phone call; 18.) Absinthe; 19.) High; 20.) 'Phone call to Jackie ( Rose Byrne ); 21.) "Pretzel"; 22.) Power position; 23.) Airport passenger line; 24.) Clench and sneeze; 25.) Special favor; 26.) Tickle attack; 27.) My friend, H-e-r-o-i-n; 28.) Fast and Furious; 29.) Emergency; 30.) TV show; 31.) Rat Pack lounge act; 32.) Strip club; 33.) Destiny ( Carla Gallo ); 34.) "Jeffrey"; 35.) Jackie is your "Daphne" ( Elisabeth Moss ); 36.) Aldous' talk with his son; 37.) Threesome; 38.) Desperate 'phone message; 39.) Swimming pool; 40.) Infant Sorrow concert; 41.) The day after; 42.) VH-1 Storytellers; 43.) Caressing the furry wall; and 44.) Bonus "talking head" scene after the Ending Credits.

audience reaction: The audience truly enjoyed this movie.

recommendation: I enjoyed it, too. And I would recommend it to the 18-and-over crowd who like comedy films, whether or not they are into the "sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll party animal" lifestyle.

spoiler alert! Since Daphne is a doctor, why doesn't she do something about her boyfriend's morbid obesity? How come not one of the other passengers noticed Aaron slip something up his big butt when his action was clearly in plain sight? That broken bone was exposed a long-enough time for infection to possibly set-in. When he fell into the pool, it looked more like he hit his shoulder or the back of his neck/head against the pool's edge, to me. So, am I to believe, too, that he was so "high" on some kind of drug that he couldn't feel the pain in his broken arm but still have command of his mental faculties to carry on with the show? Damn! the pharmaceutical companies and the armed forces should get a hold of this drug.

fyi: I wanted to catch the 11:00 a.m. show but I was double-, and triple-, and quadruple-checking my things for my overnight stay in Menlo Park--personal matter--and lost track of time. I would have made it to the 12:10 p.m. show but, instead of turning left at the light on to Middlefield Road, I kept on going straight on Jefferson Avenue. Realizing that I was in the wrong direction, I made a left on Bradford Street and made another left on Middlefield Road, which turns into a one-way street after the Broadway intersection. So, I made a left on Broadway, crossed Jefferson Avenue and Main Street, then parked at the curb in-between Walnut Street and Maple Street because I didn't want to take a chance and use the parking garage where I might have to pay for parking if they don't have a "movie ticket validation" policy in place.

Being that I had time to kill, I decided to check out the Redwood City Safeway store just two blocks away and past the Caltrain railway tracks. It's a nice and big store--and they even have a wine cellar--but I like the Menlo Park Safeway a lot better. I think that the American Canyon Safeway is better than the Redwood City Safeway, but the Menlo Park Safeway tops them both! Now, I'll just have to check-out the San Ramon Safeway and the Brentwood Safeway to see which ranks best in my opinion.

This shopping center also has an underground parking for fancy cars ( at least, the ones that I could plainly see through the basement door ) just across from the railway fence and gate.

correction: As I rode the escalator to the upstairs theatre lobby, I noticed that its clear panels are actually made of glass, but in my spoiler alert for FINAL DESTINATION: DEATH TRIP, 3-D, on August 28ht of last year, I said that there's no such thing. I stand corrected. How do you tell the difference between a glass panel and a plastic panel? Easy ... look at the edges; the glass panel will have dark-green edges and the plastic panel will have clear edges.

Back in 1988, I met the Berkeley, CA, documentary filmmaker, Les Blank, who had just recently finished production on his film, GAP-TOOTHED WOMEN, which was being shown on PBS. He caught my attention with his T-shirt which advertised his documentary film as: "The Man Who Loves Gap-Toothed Women." His production company is based in El Cerrito, CA.

word of advice: Love and friendship make the world go 'round.

tidbits: I originally sat in the 6th seat. But a family of four ( wheelchaired grandfather, father and two sons ) sat immediately to my right. And I don't like strangers invading my "personal space" when I'm busy scribbling down movie notes in the dark and clicking my tally counter when I'm doing my mantra in-between my note-taking, eating popcorn and/or drinking my soda--I'm a multi-tasking movie critic, what can I say.

On my way to check-in at the Mermaid Inn in Menlo Park, I passed by a Ferrari/Maserati automobile dealership--I need to win the lottery big-time!

KILLERS, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 40 mins )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA

when: Saturday, June 5th, 2010

show: 2:15 p.m.

costs: $9.25 Ticket + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $13.74 lunch before the show @ Empire Buffet here in Vallejo ( + $2.26 Tip ) = $29.25

auditorium: 7

seat: 5th row, 7th column

synopsis: On his last assignment, Spencer ( Ashton Kutcher ), a CIA operative, meets a vacationing American, Jen ( Katherine Heigl ), in France. They fall in love and marry. But their suburban lifestyle is imperiled when Spencer's last assignment comes back to haunt him in an unexpectedly-big way!

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Plane; 2.) Target confirmed; 3.) Elevator; 4.) Snorkeling; 5.) Yacht; 6.) Under the table; 7.) Dance club; 8.) Missed confession; 9.) Picnic; 10.) Book; 11.) Cemetery; 12.) 4-H; 13.) Charm and wit; 14.) Block party couple; 15.) Bambi's nightmare; 16.) Package; 17.) Three-year snooze; 18.) French thing; 19.) Surprise party; 20.) Overnight "guest"; 21.) Hang-over remedy; 22.) 20-million dollar bounty; 23.) Good morning; 24.) Blah, blah, blah; 25.) It's 15; 26.) Motel; 27.) Knocked-up; 28.) Big K-Mart; 29.) Zulu One Four Niner; 30.) Whoomp, there it is; 31.) Pregnancy test kit; 32.) Office secretary; 33.) "Is anyone not not trying to kill me"; 34.) Couples counseling; 35.) Blinking fuel light; 36.) "Those Volvos are amazing"; 37.) Block party; 38.) House under attack; 39.) Trust circle; 40.) "English is not my first language"; 41.) Next-door neighbor; and 42.) Baby's room.

audience reaction: The audience enjoyed this Rom/Com Action movie.

recommendation: I liked this movie, too. This movie is suited for young adults and high school age kids.

spoiler alert! In the picnic scene, there was too much food when the couple looked more interested in doing something else. In the house fight, either one of the two could have easily used a pair of balusters as defense/assault weapons. When Jen drove off in the Escalade, she forgot that it was supposed to be a stolen car and, hence, it had to be hot-wired to get it started. But she acted like it had a key in the ignition. How did that couple ever get to be professional hit-men? I'm thinking it was just played for laughs but--come on! Let's get real--or realistic, okay? How could one of them afford to hire so many hit-men and, on top of all that, still be able to put-up a 20 million dollar reward on the target? You don't punch-out your neighbor like that and for such a reason. With all that shooting and property damage in an upscale neighborhood, you'd expect the cops to get there a.s.a.p! But, where were they? ( Bad cops, no doughnuts for you! )

fyi: Last night, when I got home, as I was taking stuff out of my car in my carport, I heard five gun shots! I ducked for cover, then hurried inside. And the night before last, when I was at my computer, I also heard five gun shots. And, nope, the cops didn't show-up in either case--and this is not even an upscale neighborhood like the one in this movie. And all the doughnut shops were closed for the evening. So, what was their excuse for not showing-up?

FIRST RESPONSE. What kind of a name is that for a pregnancy test kit? 'Sounds like a Special Ops strike force to me.

If I were a trailer-trash slut bimbo wannabe-whore and I found out that I just got myself pregnant, my "first response" would likely be, Oh, sh*t! my dad's gonna kill me! Ha, ha, ha---( snort! ).

word of advice: Don't rush into marriage.

Looks can be deceiving.

tidbits: Before the show, I went to Chase Bank on Tennessee Street to make a deposit. Then, I went to the main Post Office to put a "vacation hold" on my mail. And I went to Empire Buffet for lunch because I haven't seen the owner's daughter in so long. Yup! she's still lookin' hot as ever. I gotta get her name one of these days.

After the movie, as I got on the freeway on my way to Springs Road, I noticed a ladybug crawling on the outside of my Geo Metro's windshield. My gradual increase in speed didn't blow it away. Even at 65 mph, it was still crawling on my windshield. As I slowed down to get onto the Springs Road exit, it flew off; I guess it had reached its destination. What a lazy-bug!

I bought a $4.00 gallon of water at the water store adjacent to the UPS STORE on Springs Road, just to try it out. Whoever thought that someday a gallon of water would end up costing more than a gallon of premium gas and banked on it must be rolling around in some serious dough now. Then, I bought a set of combs, a twin-pack of soap and a disinfectant spray at the 99 CENT ONLY STORE. Finally, it was off to the city of Benicia via Columbus Parkway on-ramp.

At my place of work, I put in a request for three extra days on my vacation because I'm forced to start my trip rather late. Oh, well ... better late than never, they always say.

While in Benicia, I also bought a "top-up" card for my Virgin Mobile cellphone.

SPLICE, R ( 1 hr & 44 mins )

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Friday, June 4th, 2010
show: 10:35 p.m.
costs: $10.00 Ticket + $5.25 small Popcorn ( w/ Butter ) + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke = $19.25
auditorium: 12
seat: 4th row, 7th column

synopsis: A genetic engineer couple, Clive and Elsa ( Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley ) crosses the boundaries of scientific ethics to create a new life form which is part human and part animal, in hopes of finding a cure for diseases that have plagued humanity for millenia. But Dren ( Delphine Chaneac ), the hybrid creature, develops at an accelerated rate and exhibits unanticipated "traits" that put the couple's work and lives at risk.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Love at first sight; 2.) Phase two; 3.) Human/animal splice; 4.) Moral considerations; 5.) Cesarean; 6.) A mistake; 7.) It's empty; 8.) Aging fast; 9.) Air vent; 10.) High sucrose food stuffs; 11.) Picture; 12.) Develops live fetus outside the womb; 13.) Nerd/dren palindrome; 14.) Compiling developmental profile; 15.) We have to deal with this; 16.) Scientists risk boundaries; 17.) Talk with his brother; 18.) Cold bath; 19.) Doll; 20.) Curious Dren; 21.) The "Fred & Ginger" show; 22.) Setback; 23.) Old barn; 24.) Search; 25.) Your room; 26.) Cat; 27.) Tedious/outside anagram; 28.) Wings; 29.) Not so special case anymore; 30.) Make-up; 31.) Drawing; 32.) AMC Gremlin; 33.) Music; 34.) Your DNA; 35.) You're a part of me; 36.) Surgery; 37.) Solve this thing; 38.) Security cameras, 39.) Synthesized; 40.) Sex; 41.) Opps; 42.) We broke the rules; 43.) Sick Dren; 44.) More drawings; 45.) It's the only way; 46.) Snatched; 47.) Inside you; and 48.) What's the worse that could happen?

audience reaction: The audience seemed to enjoy this movie which, at times, has funny scenes.

recommendation: Even with its scientific jargon and fancy SFX, this movie comes across as something reminiscent of 50s-era Sci-Fi schlock. Watch it for the comedy, not for the ( faulty) science.

spoiler alert! Why do Fred and Ginger have a human-sounding heartbeat when they don't even have one iota of human DNA? A fetus cannot develop or live, for that matter, outside of its maternal host. Why does the newborn have an high sense of threat assessment and response? Fred and Ginger do not really have enough body heft to topple the display case in the first place. Although Dren was supposedly aging fast, her age-rate sure slowed down quite considerably in her "sexy" stage--talk about lasciviously pandering to the prurient interest of horndog movie-goers. Attention, horndogs: If this movie's nudity and sex scenes turn you on, you're just a litter-full of sick puppies! If Dren knows how to play crossword puzzles, surely she should know how to read and write--but this movie shows no indication of such a literacy skill. How does Dren go from eating "high fructose food stuffs" to hunting down and devouring a rabbit? If Dren has to go "potty", where does she go? I don't see any gills, do you? There ain't no way in the world that a cat would not freak out at being handled by a strange stranger! The wings are not suited for flight--the creature would free-fall faster than Icarus under a hot mid-day sun. Why does a hot-shot "splice-masters extraordinaire" couple go riding around in an old AMC Gremlin lemon? A Yugo would probably be a slightly better ride. The structure of Dren's feet is not sturdy enough for runs and high jumps, and she is missing cleat-like nails on her toes which are necessary for powerful, high-speed locomotion. Supposedly--based on certain scenes ( ahem! )--Dren suffers from Alopecia Universalis but she has eyebrows and eyelashes, go figure .... When Dren was in bed dying, her blanketed legs were oriented the wrong way: They looked human, not kangaroo-like. Because of her traumatic experience, why didn't Elsa just abort the fetus?

fyi: Based on what my Anatomy and Physiology professor once said to the class, technically/scientifically/medically speaking, a fetus is just a parasite--Yes! even a human fetus. ( Oh, boy ... I can just hear the "Pro-Life" crowd raising Hell over this remark. Don't kill the messenger, please! )

A human/sundry-animals hybrid cannot impregnate a human female for the simple reason of Chromosomal Count Incompatibility.

Scientifically speaking, the male of the human species is chromosomally inferior to the female of said species. Meaning, with her human DNA, Dren should have logically started out in life as a male and later on evolved into a female, and not the other way around; in much the same way that she later on sprouted arms, her Y chromosome would have sprouted an extra limb later on! So, again, this movie would have made more sense had Dren started out in life as a male.

Did you know that the Bible warns us not to mix-breed animals--or anything else for that matter? It's true, look it up in the Old Testament of the Bible's third book: Leviticus; chapter 19, verse 19. Mix-breeding produces an inferior breed in God's eyes. But on a more sinister note, this warning applies to genetically-bred/spliced organisms because it eventually leads to tampering with the very nature of Man. Understand this, a human brought into this world through conception, whether or not In Vivo or In Vitro, is a procreated being because a sperm and an egg were involved in the untampered DNA transfer process. But a human brought into this world through genetic engineering and splicing does not have a naturally-sequenced DNA and technically is not a human but a beast, instead, i.e. The Beast, a.k.a. 666 or b.k.a., The Anti-Christ, since there are only two kinds of creatures on earth: Humans and beasts! And by beast, I ain't talkin' 'bout Tarzan, the Ape Man!

word of advice: Don't fool with Mother Nature.

tidbits: After the movie, I went to get some gas at the Chevron gas station on the corner of Sonoma Boulevard and Mini Drive. I went up to the attendant's booth, intending to buy just $3.25 of regular gas at pump # 1. The guy in front of me, whose car was on the opposite side of my pump, went up to the attendant to buy the same amount of regular gas! When it was my turn, I told the attendant that the other driver probably read my mind. He just laughed.

KITES, NR ( 2 hr & 10 min )

where: CENTURY 25 UNION LANDING & XD in Union City, CA
when: Saturday, May 29th, 2010
show: 7:45 p.m.
costs: $11.00 + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $12.42 dinner @ Fresh Choice Restaurant before the show ( + $1.00 tip ) + $4.00 Bridge Toll = $32.42
auditorium: 22
seat: 5th row, 6th column

synopsis: In this tragic love story, a Las Vegas entrepreneur marries female illegal aliens for a fee so the women can apply for citizenship. But he is smitten by one of his eleven "brides" who is about to get married to the son of a crime lord. As they try to annul their marriage, events go from bad to worse. Soon, they are running for their lives and falling madly in love with each other in-between car chases and shoot-outs.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Train car; 2.) Honeymoon scam; 3.) Limousine; 4.) Break-dance competition; 5.) Skin diving; 6.) Introduction; 7.) Love and music; 8.) Forty-two dollars; 9.) Fashion shoot; 10.) Sailing; 11.) Shadow puppets; 12.) Cellphone; 13.) Cheaters; 14.) Translation; 15.) "Goodbye, Poverty"; 16.) Rain; 17.) Family portrait; 18.) Friends; 19.) Train; 20.) Get-away; 21.) Hot-air balloon; 22.) Kiss; 23.) Mrs. Linda Ray; 24.) True identity; 25.) Bank; 26.) Van; 27.) Same jail term; 28.) Foreign words; 29.) Shoot-out; 30.) Car chase; 31.) Convertible; 32.) Ransom money; 33.) Wedding; 34.) Unwelcome guests; 35.) Bullet wound; 36.) Cornered; 37.) Stand-off; and 38.) Sea cliff.

audience reaction: The audience seemed to like it.

recommendation: This is strictly a rental since the script for, and the directing of, this movie both lack polish.

spoiler alert! The Immigration and Naturalization Service ( INS--I don't know what it's called now ) checks-up periodically on citizens who marry foreigners. You cannot marry someone and a short time later ( minutes or hours ) divorce that someone--it simply doesn't work that way! The INS would know about it, sooner or later. This movie is only two hours and ten minutes long, so why does it have an intermission break? And a very short one at that, I might add! As J ( Hrithik Roshan ) reached for the dangling rope from his speeding truck, that rope should have whipped his hand and/or friction-burned it--simple physics. The cops wanted an interpreter for the Filipino couple because they couldn't speak English--Bull! English is one of the three major languages in the Philippines ( Cebuano and Tagalog being the other two ). Any Filipino who has enough money to travel abroad is well-educated and can speak English. Of course, the hard accent that some Filipino tribes use in speaking English is an altogether different matter! Ha, ha, ha. In the shoot-out with the biker gang, the cops just stood there on the stairs instead of ducking for cover. The cops just stayed directly behind that big rig which was hauling cars when they knew what J was gonna do with each and every car. As they rode in the convertible, no wind noise could be heard. Natasha ( Barbara Mori ) wasn't paying much attention to the road in the car chase. And I was disappointed when I realized that the good guys and the bad guys do not get together to do a typical Bollywood-style "song and dance" ending.

fyi: Hrithik Rosan has the best-looking eyes that I've ever seen on the big screen. His eyes are not blue, not green, not amber, not brown and not violet but a combination of all of the above. And the camera lingered on his eyes in the clear broad daylight scenes to accentuate the effect. If Hollywood--or Bollywood, for that matter--ever decides to do a new Jesus Christ movie, Hrithik is the man for the job, based on his eyes and exotic good looks.

Unfortunately, Hrithik has a deformity--easily fixable, mind you! He has a vestigial digit attached to the lateral side of his right thumb. Hey, dude ... you're rich and famous now! Why don't you have a surgeon remove that thing? You're not keeping it on for good luck, I hope.

The Ending Credits lists a man named Joseph Stalin. I wonder if he's in any way related to the genocidal communist dictator.

word of advice: You can't buy love.

tidbits: I decided to see this "Bollywood" movie after my Kriya Yoga group practice session ended for the day.