where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Friday, June 11th, 2010
show: 12:00 p.m. ( Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee )
costs: $6.25 Ticket + $5.25 small Popcorn ( w/ Butter ) + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Cherry flavor ) Coke = $15.50
auditorium: 1
seat: 4th row, 5th column
synopsis: The members of an elite Army Rangers unit in Iraq are framed for a crime that they didn't commit. And they will go to any length to clear their name. ( Emphasis on "any". )
noteworthy scenes: 1.) Abusive Mexican police; 2.) Hungry dogs; 3.) Auto "chop shop"; 4.) Ranch; 5.) Fellow rangers; 6.) Rolling tires; 7.) Helicopter chase; 8.) US air space; 9.) Barbecue; 10.) Engravement plates; 11.) "Body armor in HQ"; 12.) "Assassins in polo shirts"; 13.) Parts and supplies; 14.) Convoy; 15.) Set-up; 16.) Court martial; 17.) Not subject to military jurisdiction; 18.) Stripped of rank & dishonorably discharged; 19.) Prison deal; 20.) Crematorium; 21.) Tanning booth; 22.) Lynch's ( Patrick Wilson ) jammers; 23.) License plates; 24.) Exit door; 25.) New 'do; 26.) 3-D movie; 27.) Tarmac; 28.) Battle tank; 29.) "How's my driving"; 30.) Old couple at the lake; 31.)" Where's Berlin"; 32.) Unscrambled security photo; 33.) 'Phone call; 34.) Photo booth; 35.) Bank building "snatch and shoot-out"; 36.) Cornered; 37.) Double-crosser; 38.) Tracked; 39.) "Death's too easy"; 40.) Bombed "no-fly" zone; 41.) Extradition order; 42.) "Collude and cut me off"; 43.) "It's not a silencer; it's a suppressor"; 44.) "You believe in second chances"; 45.) "Huge banana"; 46.) Switched passports; 47.) Sea plane; 48.) "Overkill is under-rated"; 49.) Gandhi; 50.) Switcharoo; 51.) Distraction, Diversion, Division; 52.) Exploding cargo ship; 53.) Mohawk; 54.) "On display"; 55.) "I feel sane"; 56.) "Make Hannibal ( Liam Neeson ) make the plans next time"; 57.) "My name's Lynch"; 58.) Key; and 59.) Two bonus scenes after the Ending Credits: A cameo scene and an earlier Murdoch ( Sharlto Copley ) scene.
audience reaction: The audience enjoyed this movie adaptation of the '80s show.
recommendation: It's good enough for the Action/Comedy film crowd.
spoiler alert! This movie goes way overboard in the over-the-top action and the perfectly-timed-to-the-last-second rescues. And just like what Army Captain Charisa Sosa ( Jessica Biel ) says 23 minutes and 33 seconds into the movie, "They specialize in the ridiculous." Ridiculous means, absurd and laughable. Bearing these in mind, here are the other things wrong with this movie:
How was Hannibal able to overcome and restrain two hungry dogs in the dark? Humans cannot see in the dark but dogs can. Does Hannibal channel Saint Francis of Assisi? If you're shooting at a dozen or so fixed targets while you're bouncing around in the back of a van, your targets have a better chance, than you, of scoring a hit. After the Humvee exploded, why were there no proper dental records and dog tags recovered? How did Hannibal and cohorts know exactly when the 3-D movie started playing? The dogfight scene and the battle tank scene both used live ammo--the director should have, at least, shown where the rounds made their hits--but we, the audience, don't know if the rounds hit structures or animals or humans or whatever .... The tank should have gotten stuck in the muddy lake-bed. How come the tank didn't fill-up with water? How were they able to drive it up from the bottom of the lake? "Face" ( Bradley Cooper ) casually fired-off a few rounds in a crowded airport without regard for the consequential "ricochet effect". The bad guy ( I forget his name ) rappelled down the building in an improvised way using his jacket which should have been cut-through by the friction burn--and probably his glove, too! The movie does not explain how Murdoch was able to converse in an African language. Don't those passports have pictures on them? I ask because B. A. Baracus ( Quinton "Rampage" Jackson ) does not come across as a "Jewish rabbi" to me. In a much later scene, B. A. Baracus' right arm had no gunshot scar on it--even a flesh-wound can leave a scar, you know. Why was an electro-shock therapy ( a.k.a. "Electroconvulsive Shock Treatment" ) administered on Murdoch when it's only used, still controversially, on mental patients who suffer from severe depression? Murdoch didn't look depressed to me in this movie--just the opposite!
fyi: In his review for this film, one movie critic, Christopher Kelly ( of the McClatchy Newspapers group ), calls Bradley Cooper a "graduate of the Matthew McConaughey school" of acting; you know, as in ... take off your shirt, smile at the camera and bare your man-boobs at the audience! Ha, ha, ha--how funny--and it would, perhaps, be even more funnier except that it's a factually true observation of his!
Mahatma Gandhi and I belong to the same Kriya Yoga movement: He was of the SRF branch, and I'm of the YSS branch.
I love the crematorium scene, the fighter plane canopy destruction scene, and the battle tank scene.
I never watched the TV show because Mr. T came across as too loud and flashily-blinged for me.
word of advice: Good men are not expendable "chess pieces". ( "Expendable" sounds like a good title for an action movie--wait a minute ... I just remembered, a movie by the same title is coming out. )
Electroconvulsive Shock Treatment breaks bones and fries brains!
tidbits: After the movie, I swung by the local Pep-Boys to look at their motor-scooter selection, their helmets and their battery chargers. Then, I went to Chase Bank to make a deposit. Then, I went to Kinko's to make some copies. Then, I went to CSAA to get a Michigan map--but I forgot to get an Indiana map since I need both for next week's trip. Then, I went to Chevron on the corner of Couch Street and Redwood Street to get the Friday edition of the Contra Costa newspaper and $7.19 worth of regular gas for my Geo Metro. Then, I went to BofA to make a deposit. And, then, I went to the Dollar Tree store to buy some snacks to eat on the plane since they don't serve food on any of my scheduled flights for next week. Finally, I went to have a light dinner at Empire Chinese Buffet.
One of the workers at the buffet, a Filipina lady, asked me if I worked today. I told her, No, that I was on vacation and that I'll be leaving for Michigan in a few days. And I told her that in Grand Rapids, MI, there's a Chinese buffet with the same name. She laughed--but I hope that she didn't hurt herself doing that since she was on her way home early because of a splitting headache. ( Not now! Cine-Man. I've got a headache! Ha, ha, ha. )
