YOU'RE NEXT, R ( 1 hr & 34 min )

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where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Monday, August 26th, 2013
show: 2:20 p.m.
costs: $7.75 Ticket + $4.50 30.0 oz medium cup Powerade Mountain Berry Blast = $12.25
auditorium: 14
seat: 5th row ( counting from the front ), 7th column ( counting from the left )

synopsis/overview: A family get-together at their countryside mansion becomes a living nightmare as crossbow-shooting, machete-swinging and ax-wielding intruders target them one by one.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) You're Next; 2.) "It's open"; 3.) "Were you just upstairs"; 4.) Student; 5.) Dinner argument; 6.) Cellphone blocker; 7.) Escape attempt; 8.) Bedroom; 9.) Panic run; 10.) "It's safe to say that one of them's inside"; 11.) Meat tenderizer; 12.) "Really? You really had to do that in front of me"; 13.) "Shut up! Stop talking"; 14.) "Would you just die already? This is hard enough for me as it is"'; 15.) Glass shard; 16.) Overheard conversation; 17.) 'Phone; 18.) "Two bolts, two shots"; 19.) Camera flashes; 20.) "What the f*ck! I f*cking hit her, didn't I"; 21.) Blender; 22.) "Is it over"; and 23.) Cop.

favorite scenes: I liked the Meat Tenderizer scene.

And I liked the Blender scene.

audience reaction: The audience was mildly entertained by this movie.

recommendation: Eh ... it was "so, so" for me. This is a rental. Wait for it to come out as a rental.

spoiler alert! Why didn't they turn-off the lights? When Erin ( Sharni Vinson ) charged at the bad guy yelling, why didn't he turn around? The head wound shouldn't have produced a stream of blood because the blade was tight against the skull and scalp--and the blade didn't have any blood grooves to help release the "vacuum seal" of the embedded knife. Since it was an emergency response, why didn't the cop turn-on his siren?

fyi: This movie debuted two years ago on September 10th, 2011, at the 2011 Toronto International Film Festival.

I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Ms. Barbara Crampton is in this movie. She plays the part of the mother.

Two Barbara Crampton horror movies come to mind: RE-ANIMATOR ( 1985 ) and FROM BEYOND ( 1986 ). Either one of these two is better than this undeservedly-hyped movie.

word of advice: Money can't buy you love.

tidbits: Today, I planned on dropping by the dental lab where I used to work at many years ago. The lab has expanded and, consequently, has about twice the technicians now than when I worked there. But I just decided to put it off for another day---Hopefully, soon! Because I want to see if they found somebody who's better at plastering and polishing/finishing than I was.

After a light breakfast, I went to Goin' Postal at the Food Maxx Shopping Center on the corner of Tuolumne and Redwood Streets, here in Vallejo, to drop-off a bill payment and to check my box to see if the automotive parts that I ordered a week ago had arrived---Nope, not yet.

And I drove to the Selecta Pilipino Buffet Restaurant on Springs Road, here in Vallejo, for lunch--now you know why I had a light breakfast!--and to buy some lottery tickets. Next, I walked next door to the 99-Cent Only Store to buy some stuff. I parked my car in the same exact spot where a couple of black scam artists tried to pull a "Nigerian Prince Scam" on me two weeks ago. I don't think that I will ever see them again---Good Riddance!

*

THE WORLD'S END, R ( 1 hr & 49 min )

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I went to see this on Friday, August 23rd, 2013, here in Vallejo, CA, at the CENTURY 14 VALLEJO, for the 7:40 p.m. show in auditorium 13,  8ht row ( counting from the front ), 6th column ( counting from the right ). The price of admission was $10.50. And I bought a $4.50 medium cup of 30.0 oz Powerade Mountain Berry Blast at the concessions counter.

Quickie Review: Five long-time friends get together twenty years later to reenact "The Golden Mile", a pub crawl through their hometown's 12 taverns with a stop for a pint of beer at each one. They are determined to complete "The Golden Mile" this time around. But a sinister alien force with an evil agenda stands in their way.

The audience really liked this movie. And some people gave this movie a "Hands Clapper" ending.

I liked this movie, too. Go see this movie if you liked SHAUN OF THE DEAD and HOT FUZZ!

This movie is definitely the Britons' answer to our THIS IS THE END! So, which one is funnier in my own opinion? THIS IS THE END is funnier by just a tiny bit!!! ( And I say that simply because I'm not too keen on British humor. )

I liked the "What the f*ck is WTF?" scene.

I liked the scene wherein one of them was getting even with the old school bully.

And I liked the scene underneath The World's End bar.

*

THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES, PG-13 ( 2 hr & 10 min )

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where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Wednesday, August 21st, 2013
show: 7:00 p.m. Advanced Screening
costs: $10.00 Ticket + $7.59 "all-you-can-eat" Pizza and Salad Buffet Dinner at Mountain Mike's Pizza Restaurant = $17.59
auditorium: 2
seat: 4th row ( counting from the front ), 8ht column ( counting from the left )

synopsis/overview: Clary Fray ( Lilly Collins ), a New York City teenage girl, learns that she is descended from a long line of Shadow Hunters, a half-human/half-angel race that is locked in an eternal battle with demons and vampires; and which is in an alliance with the werewolf race. She is forced to join forces with the Shadow Hunters when her mother ( Lena Headey ) goes missing. And she learns who she really is when the secrets kept from her are finally revealed to her.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) The recurring symbol; 2.) "They killed the guy that let us in the club"; 3.) Offensive; 4.) "You can thank your daughter"; 5.) Mundane; 6.) Rottweiler; 7.) Witch; 8.) Mortal Cup; 9.) "Are you the Gate-Keeper"; 10.) Interrogation; 11.) "Maybe these memories aren't real"; 12.) The Institute; 13.) Dying breed; 14.) "They don't exist"; 15.) Memories; 16.) "Easy now. Those are my clothes"; 17.) "I meant him"; 18.) "Don't drink that"; 19.) Paintings; 20.) Altar; 21.) Hotel Death; 22.) Eyeglasses; 23.) Bach; 24.) Love triangle; 25.) Cup; 26.) Text message; 27.) "Those can't come in here. This is a peaceful house"; 28.) A demon in disguise; 29.) "The runes aren't working"; 30.) Daughter; 31.) Little girl; 32.) "Good throw, by the way"; 33.) Beacon; 34.) Brother; 35.) "It's all a matter of perception; 36.) "We found your mother"; 37.) "I'm a werewolf"; 38.) "It's not in the book"; 39.) "I'm not too crazy about the basement"; 40.) Snow; 41.) "I guess I'm just an old romantic"; 42.) "I need you"; and 43.) "The world's the same. You're the one who's different."

audience reaction: The audience liked it. But no one gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation: I didn't like it that much. It reminded me of the Twilight series' three-way love connection--but with a kinky twist: "Incestuous" sibling love. If you liked reading the novels that this movie is based on then you just might find this movie to your liking.

spoiler alert! The way that they depicted the demons in this movie was laughable. In my out-of-body-experiences, I encountered three demons--two, the first time. They don't look or act like the ones depicted in this movie. How come the next door neighbors didn't call the cops to investigate the house that was broken into? If the cops came, a "crime scene" yellow tape would have been put in place.

fyi: The Archangel Raziel is the Keeper of Holy Secrets. He shares these secrets with select humans only if God gives him permission to do so.

This movie mentioned something about frequencies. Here's what I know about the subject based on my meditative practices--allow me to use a simple analogy:

Let us say that you like to watch shows on your TV set. But you could only watch shows on one channel, the same channel that you've been watching shows on all of your life. Then, one day, somebody came along and said, "Hey, did you know that if you press this button on your remote, you'll get a different channel?" And, so, you press a button on your remote which alters the frequency signal that your TV set receives and---Presto! a different channel with a different show.

The above analogy is basically what happens to you when someone teaches you how to meditate and you meditate for a long enough time: Your body's frequency becomes altered to a point where you experience another world or reality, even if for just a brief moment.

In the late '70s and early '80s, an American psychic, Ms. Francine ( Francie ) Steiger, sold a guided meditation cassette tape that makes one travel to a different time and place. I purchased a copy and meditated to it faithfully for 30 days. After that, I had an out-of-body-experience ( OOBE ) wherein my Astral Self journeyed through the "White Light" that people who have near-death experiences go through. At the end of this "White Light" is a round "portal object" that is green in color ( not the color blue depicted in this movie ) and is about the size of a one-story house. This object is not solid or liquid; it is more like an intermediate stage between liquid and gas--and, No, you don't get soaking wet traveling through this portal like in the movie. On the other side of this portal is a quiet and peaceful land. It was predawn when I was about to enter into this realm where the silhouette of rolling hills stretched across the distance. I took one step forward and was immediately taken back--in reverse--to my physical self.

The guided meditation cassette tape recording starts out with Ms. Francine Steiger saying, "You are walking towards a soft, green area of countryside. A beautiful, tranquil place. You select a lush, grassy area on which to lie down. The sound of a nearby bubbling brook adds to the beauty of this place. Small, exquisitely-colored birds whistle and sing as they go from tree to tree, from bush to bush." This is all the verbatim ( ? ) passage that I can remember. But the guided meditation goes on to say that you find a recliner out in the open field and you go sit in it. And, once relaxed, you and the recliner float up into the sky until you leave the relative comfort and safety of the Earth's atmosphere and you perceive the "White Light" and travel through it to find yourself in another world that is populated by Guardian Beings. You then join these Guardian Beings in a temple that looks like the Taj Mahal.

The Taj Mahal in India. I found this on the Internet. I picked this particular picture because it approximates what the building would have looked like early in the morning in that world.

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And you and the white-robed Guardian Beings form a circle inside the temple. There is a circular hole in the floor where one can see the planet Earth far down below. You and the Guardian Beings hold hands and pour-out Loving Energy to the Earth below.

Of course, I never got to this point nor did I see anybody around when I got to that place---They must have still been fast-asleep since it was predawn when I got there. Ha, ha, ha.

Anyway ...

My stereo radio ate-up the cassette tape after only a month's use. And I never bothered to buy a replacement guided meditation cassette tape by Ms. Steiger. And I was either too stupid ( way back when ) or too lazy--or both--to be bothered with going to the local library to ask a librarian to show me a picture of the Taj Mahal to help me visualize the place during my nightly meditations.

By the way ...

If any of you guys out there find a copy of this particular guided meditation cassette tape ( transferred onto a CD, hopefully ), do let me know. Please. Thank you ....

( Confession: The reason why I bought this guided meditation cassette tape many, many years ago in the first place was because, back then, the psychic Ms. Francine Steiger was A REAL HOTTIE!!! 'Now you know .... Hey! at least I got my priorities right. LOL )

word of advice: Don't do anything evil as a means to an end.

tidbits: I wanted to catch the 7:00 p.m. show for PLANES. But when I got to the box office, I noticed that there were a couple of Advanced Screenings for this movie. So, I decided to go see this movie, instead.

I didn't buy anything at the concessions counter because I had just eaten an "all-you-can-eat" Pizza and Salad Buffet Dinner at the Mountain Mike's Pizza Restaurant here in Vallejo at 972 Admiral Callaghan Lane in the Target Shopping Center. My buffet dinner was $7.59 ( I only had water with it, I didn't have any soda---I don't drink soda anymore, remember ...? ).

*

KICK-ASS 2, R ( 1 hr & 43 min )

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where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfied, CA
when: Thursday, August 15th, 2013
show: 11:00 p.m. Advanced Screening
costs: $11.50 Ticket + $7.00 medium Popcorn + $0.00 small 32.0 oz Pink Lemonade ( Free Reward on my Regal Elite Movie Watcher Card ) = $18.50
auditorium: 7
seat: 3rd row ( counting from the front ), 9th column ( counting from the left )

synopsis/overview: In high school, Dave ( Aaron Taylor-Johnson ) a.k.a. Kick-Ass, and Mindy ( Chloe Grace Moretz ) a.k.a. Hit Girl, start training together and start a crime-fighting team. But Mindy/Hit Girl is busted by her adult guardian, Detective Williams ( Morris Chestnut ), and forced to give-up her alter ego and go into abrupt retirement. Dave joins-up with a masked and costumed crime-fighting gang called Justice Force, headed by reformed mob enforcer Col. Stars and Stripes ( Jim Carrey ). For a while, the streets become safe again. But Chris ( Christopher Mintz-Plasse ), the former Red Mist/now Mother-F*cker, wants to exact revenge on Kick-Ass for the death of his mobster father. And he wants to do it in a big way: By assembling his own masked and costumed gang of bad guys to take on Kick-Ass and his crew in an all-out street war.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Bulletproof vest; 2.) Boredom; 3.) "Jesus, dad. Get out"; 4.) Training regimen; 5.) "I wish you were dead"; 6.) Last resort; 7.) Insane; 8.) "You're fifteen"; 9.) "Nice pair of guns"; 10.) Anal beads; 11.) "I'm the whitest pimp, ever"; 12.) Alley fight; 13.) 'Phone call; 14.) "You got my soup"; 15.) Jealous girlfriend; 16.) "My destiny"; 17.) Two against one; 18.) Old man; 19.) Swear jar; 20.) "Welcome to Justice Forever"; 21.) Union J; 22.) New superhero; 23.) "Watch me end your life"; 24.) MMA sparring session; 25.) Dance tryouts; 26.) "Ultimate clique"; 27.) "Maybe, a little of both"; 28.) Born-again; 29.) Message; 30.) Archetypes; 31.) Frog eye; 32.) Date ditch; 33.) "Beat them at their own game"; 34.) Sick Stick; 35.) "Drugs would have been better"; 36.) "Let me show you what real evil looks like"; 37.) Col. Stars and Stripes vs. Mother Russia ( Olga Kurkulina ); 38.) Lawnmower; 39.) "I guess evil dick feels limp"; 40.) Hospital; 41.) Arrest; 42.) "Lifetime access to V.I.P. area"; 43.) Picture; 44.) Van; 45.) "He gave me a gift"; 47.) "My daddy was prepared for anything"; 48.) The Brawl; 49.) Adrenaline; 50.) First kiss; 51.) Real heroes; and 52.) Bonus Scene after the Ending Credits.

favorite scenes: I liked the Alley Fight scene.

I liked the Sick Stick scene.

I liked the Lawnmower scene.

I liked the Mother-F*cker/Night Bitch ( Linda Booth ) Encounter scene.

I liked the Van On The Freeway scene.

I liked the Hit Girl vs. Mother Russia Fight scene.

audience reaction: The audience liked it. But I don't think I heard somebody give it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation: I liked this movie. If you like part one, you'll like this one.

spoiler alert! A handgun that shoots a bullet that is powerful enough to send its human target falling backward is also powerful enough to kick the shooting arm backward. The taxi driver could easily have heard the conversation between Dave and Mindy. Dave should have fought a dirty fight against the gang of thugs in the alley; because, when you are surrounded by bad guys, time is a luxury that you simply  cannot afford in such a situation--use "Quick-Kill" moves ( some techniques that he should have already learned to apply by then )! When Kick-Ass was jumped by two bad guys, he should have whacked them in the shins with his sticks! Red Mist sounds like some kind of soft drink. When the superheroes went out on patrol as a group, any bag guy could have just mowed them down with automatic rifle in a drive-by shooting! Col. Stars and Stripes didn't follow his own advice when he punched Mother Russia in the face. Why didn't the cops shoot at Mother Russia's lower extremities which were unprotected? I don't think that a propane tank that explodes inside a car can lift a car several feet up in the air! To keep a gas-powered lawn mower from turning off, you have to keep the throttle open--Mother Russia didn't keep the throttle open. How'd she get on the roof of the van without getting detected. How was she able to know where to shoot at the bad guys inside the van? Hit Girl could have easily freed herself when Mother Russia lifted her overhead to throw her down; and Hit Girl would have landed on her feet--preferably behind Mother Russia--to deliver a counter-strike.

fyi: Only a few sharks can breathe without having to swim around. The shark in the tank is the type that has to move around in order to breathe.

I don't know about you, but I found the 6'2"Amazonian Mother Russia ( Olga Kurkulina ) strangely sexy---Don't tell my Yogi about it!!! Or I'll never be allowed to undergo my 2nd- and 3rd-Stage Kriya Yoga initiations. Ha, ha, ha.

Olga Kurkulina, a.k.a. Mother Russia. I found this on the Internet.

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Ahh ... this is more like it! Just imagine the guy as having a "Fred Flintstone" face and you get the picture. I found this on the Internet.

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word of advice: Leave the crime-fighting to the professionals.

tidbits: After I got off work, I went to the Springs Road 99-Cent Only Store, here in Vallejo, CA, to buy some stuff before going to the Selecta Pilipino Buffet Restaurant next door for lunch.

As I walked back to my car at around 11:39 a.m., a short ( 5'4" ) black man who spoke with an African ( ? ) accent came up to me to asked me for directions. He said that he was lost, that he wasn't asking for money, that he had money--lots of it. He showed me two rolled-up/rubber-banded bundles of ( supposedly real ) money in a $100.oo denomination. Each rolled-up bundle was supposedly $100,000.oo worth! ( Red Flag! A new bundle--Federal Reserve strap--of $10,000.oo is less than 1/2-inch thick.  All new bundles, no matter what denomination, issued by the Federal Reserve are all of the same thickness: < 1/2-inch thick. Therefore, if $100,000.oo worth of $100.oo bills were rolled-up tightly, it would be at least 10 inches in diameter--not 3 inches in diameter like the two bundles that he showed me! )  "Nigerian Prince Scam" came to mind when he showed me his money!

( Note: A Pilipino was scammed out of his $20,000.oo here in Vallejo, CA, just a few years ago--probably by these very same scam artists who seem to think that all Pilipinos are easy prey. This particular  "Nigerian Prince Scam" was reported in the local newspaper, Vallejo Times-Herald. )

This is the exact spot, under the shade of a tree, in the 99-Cent Only Store's parking lot where a scam artist and his partner tried to scam me out of my money just a little over 24 hours ago. That is my blue Hyundai Accent that you see pictured.

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He said that he got the money at a Wells Fargo Bank branch in San Francisco. He walked by a church and gave money to some panhandlers--according to him. A taxi driver saw him and told him that it wasn't safe to show money around like that. He told the taxi driver that he must donate money to poor people of different colors ( i.e. Minorities ) and to churches that are open to people of different colors. The taxi driver told him that he would take him someplace where there are churches that welcome people of different colors. And that was how he supposedly ended-up in Vallejo where the taxi driver dropped him off after charging him $500.oo. The taxi driver pulled-up to the bus stop in front of the 99-Cent Only Store and told him to wait for a big white bus that will take him to the church that the taxi driver wrote down on a piece of paper.

The man waited but no white bus arrived. He walked across the street ( according to him ) to the Royal Jelly Donut Shop to ask the proprietor about the bus. The donut shop owner told him that there was no such bus.

He crossed back to the 99-Cent Only Store side of the street and asked people for directions. But people just waived him off and some even called him a "Nigger" ( according to him ). He said that he just needed to know how to get to the church so he could donate money. He said that he was willing to pay me generously for my assistance. I told him that I didn't want any of his money.

He showed me the church's address: African Christian Church, Peagreen Street. I told him that the street name doesn't sound familiar. I got a Vallejo map from my car to look-up the address that he gave me. I was right, there was no such street name here in Vallejo. I asked to look at the address again. ( Red Flag! The name of the reverend written on that piece of paper is Rev. Jesse Jackson---I almost laughed. I don't even think that Jesse Jackson set foot in Vallejo at all or if he's even heard of the City of Vallejo in the first place. And a note scribbled between the church's address and Jesse Jackson's name was a price quote for room and board [ at the church ...? ]. )

As I was looking for the address on my map, the African marveled at my ability to read maps ( Red Flag! Flattery. ) He asked me if I worked for the government because I know how to read a map. He told me that he doesn't know how to read at all ( Red Flag! Feigned innocence. ). He told me that some lady on crutches gave him the street corner address of Broadway and Tennessee Streets because that is near where the church that he wants to go to is located. He asked me how far away it was in kilometers. I guesstimated the distance to be approximately 3 kilometers. He asked me if I could walk with him, that he'd pay me for my assistance. I told him that I would need to have a telephone directory to be able to help him find the church, itself. I asked him to follow me to Selecta Pilipino Buffet Restaurant where we could use their directory. I just wanted him to go inside the restaurant so that the security cameras could capture his image on video.

This is Selecta Pilipino Buffet Restaurant where I took the African would-be scam artist yesterday on the pretext that I needed to look-up in a telephone directory the address that he showed me. Actually, I just wanted the restaurant's camera to catch images of him.

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I asked the proprietress for a telephone directory. And I sat down at a table with the African. I looked in the directory and on my map for any church that would be closest to the corner of Broadway and Tennessee Streets. I couldn't find any.

He then showed me a letter from his "lawyer" based in San Francisco, CA. The one page letter that he showed me ( Red Flag! ) didn't have a company letterhead. All it had at the top was a list of "lawyers'" names, addresses and 'phone numbers 4 across and 3 deep. The "lawyers" addresses and 'phone numbers were from different States. His "lawyer's" name was listed in the upper left corner and it was ( Red Flag! ) misspelled! He asked me to read the letter out loud to him because he couldn't read. The gist of the letter was this: The African, Jamal Hison ( pronounced Hassan ), is a Muslim from Johannesburg, South Africa ( I guess Nigeria got so notoriously identified with the Nigerian Prince Scam that scammers are now operating from South Africa! ). His uncle, an illiterate Zulu Warrior just like his own father, somehow ( Red Flag! ) learned how to read in English, immigrated to America, became a ( Red Flag! ) doctor who, when he died, left a Liberty Mutual Life Insurance valued at 1.2 million dollars and whose other assets totaled-up to 2.6 million dollars. Jamal said that he stood to inherit 2.0 million dollars if he anonymously donated 1.8 million dollars to churches first within a certain time-frame. I asked him why he would donate to Christian Churches since he was a Muslim. Jamal said that there is only one God. ( Note: I read the Koran years ago. And there is a passage in it which says that a devout Muslim should do his best to avoid the infidels [ i.e. Christians and Jews ] because they are the most vile people on Earth and cannot be trusted. ) He said that he stood to lose his inheritance if he couldn't give away 1.8 million dollars to churches and to people who help him. And to speed-up the anonymous donation process, the will's condition stipulated that he could anonymously donate money in increments of $1,000.oo, and that he could hire 2 trustworthy persons to help him donate all of that money. As I read the letter to him bit by bit, I couldn't help but notice that ( Red Flag! ) he could point out exactly where I should pick-up from where I left off each and every time!

I took out my cellphone. Jamal marveled at the cheap "pay-as-you-go" flip-phone TracFone which I held in my hand.

This is exactly the kind I have, an LG440G No-Contract TracFone.

He asked me if all people in America have cellphones. Yeah, I said, pretty much. I told Jamal that I would like to speak with his lawyer on the 'phone, and that I would like to see his letter once again so that I could dial his "lawyer's" number myself. He told me that his "lawyer" was busy working on a case, a ( Red Flag! ) murder case---Estate Lawyers don't handle murder cases unless his "lawyer" had my murder in mind! He said that ( Red Flag! ) he would call his "lawyer" himself. He took out his ( Red Flag! ) I-Phone which he was quite adept at using--I mean, he was illiterate, after all. I spoke with his "lawyer" who asked me where his client was, and told me to take his client, Jamal, to the address that he needed to go to and, once he's done donating money, to have Jamal call him so that Mr. "Lawyer" could send a limousine to come fetch his client in about 40 to 50 minutes ( Red Flag! San Francisco is approximately 50 miles from Vallejo via freeway but afternoon traffic would increase the travel time by at least 20 more minutes ).

Jamal reminded me that the letter stipulated that he could enlist the help of 2 trustworthy people to help spread his money around. He asked me if I would help him do so. I asked to see the two $100,000.oo rolled-up bundles. He ( Red Flag! ) didn't want to show me either one--even though he was flashing them around outside in broad daylight just a few minutes ago! Instead, he pulled-out three $100.oo bills from his left front jeans pocket. I checked them; they were real.

He said that he was pressed for time because he had to return to San Francisco later on today after being in the country for only two days. He said that he would have to return to South Africa tomorrow whether or not he was successful in anonymously donating all of the money ear-marked for such. He said that whatever money was left over, he would have to burn because he couldn't take it with him. He said that white people in South Africa would beat him up and would take his money if he walked into a bank with a lot of money. I told him that Apartheid was no longer practiced in South Africa. He said that I was wrong. That white people kill black people all the time in South Africa. I said that it is the black people who kill the Boers in South Africa. Jamal said that the blacks are just fighting back ( Red Flag! This is not what I read on the Internet and in the trusted quarterly newsletter which I receive on a regular basis ).

And Jamal said that he had to see his "lawyer" before leaving for South Africa because ( Red Flag! ) his "lawyer" was holding his visa for him---I don't believe that anybody could lawfully hold anybody else's visa for him/her!!! He wanted to know if I would be so kind as to help him because he would pay me good money for it. I told him that I didn't want any of his money but that I will drive him to where he wanted to go.

As we were walking toward my car, three white guys walked by and one of them asked me if I had a nickel. I told him, No. Jamal asked me, perplexed and somewhat angry, why I didn't give the man some money even though he trusted me to help him donate his money; and he proceeded to reach into his right front pocket to get some money. I told him not to do that because people just ask for handouts and use that money for cigarettes or for liquor or for drugs ( of course, I don't know what kind of cheap drug you could buy for just a nickel ).

As we got closer to my car, he reminded me that he could enlist the help of two trustworthy men who would not fight like cats and dogs over his money. He ( Red Flag! ) pointed to a nicely-dressed 5'10" skinny old black man ( his "confidence man" a.k.a. his "lawyer" in all probability ) for me to ask him if he would be willing to help us donate his money.

Jamal asked the man, "Will the white people take your money and beat you with a stick if you go into a bank because you're a nigger?" Once again, I told him not to use that word around strangers. "But he's a nigger like I'm a nigger."

"Whoa, now. Don't use that word around here," said the elderly black man.

"You're a nigger. I'm a nigger. He ( me ) is not a nigger," Jamal pointed out. Maybe if he ( me ) goes to the bank the white people will not beat him up and chase him with a stick."

"They don't do that here," said the old black man.

I told the old black man that we were looking for a particular church.

Jamal showed him the church's address. The old black man said that there was no street by that name here in Vallejo, that he should know because he's lived in Vallejo for 40-something years. Then, he saw the reverend's name. The old black man smiled and said that Rev. Jesse Jackson was in Chicago. Jamal told him that a woman gave him the Broadway and Tennessee Streets address to go to because there was a church nearby. The old black man said that the church Jamal was referring to was the Revival Center Ministries ( RCM ). Then, I remembered---It used to be a bargain 2-screen movie theatre! Jamal said that he would pay him money if he would help us get there. The old black man said that he didn't want to be paid because he had his own money; and he proceeded to take a small wad of money from his dress pants' front left pocket ( and there was a hundred dollar bill or two in it ) to show to us.

We introduced ourselves to each other. The old black man's name was Frank. I asked Frank to show me his driver's license as proof of his name. He took his driver's license out of his wallet as I showed him mine. When I reached to get his license for a better look, Frank ( Red Flag! ) reflexively pulled his hand back.

Jamal showed him the two bundles of "money" he had in his fanny pack. Frank told him not to show his money around because he could get killed over it. Frank said that he would help us because it was a "Christian" thing to do. Frank added that he wasn't always a Christian but became a "born-again" Christian ( Red Flag! People who say that they're "born-again" Christians don't know what the term EXACTLY entails, according to Jesus Christ, Himself ).

So began the "Confidence Scam" otherwise known as the "Pigeon Drop":

Jamal said that he would pay us good money if we could earn his trust. He said to Frank, "You, I will give you 20% of the $100,000.oo. Him ( me ), I will give 30% of the other $100,000.oo."

Frank asked, "You're giving me just 20% because I am black?"

Jamal answered, "I'm giving him ( me ) 30% because he is my ( Red Flag! Flattery ) number one friend. And my people always treat their number one friend best."

"How much money you have in the bank," asked Jamal of Frank.

"I have $10,000.oo in my savings account and over $60,000.oo in my safe deposit box, along with some jewelry and my trust deed."

"Why only $10,000.oo in your savings account," asked Jamal.

"I put most of my money in my safe deposit box because that is where you keep money that you don't want the government to know about."

"If the government finds out, will the white man take it away from you and beat you with a stick?"

Frank said, "They cannot take that money from you because they don't know about it."

"I want you to take money from your safe deposit box and give it to me to prove to me that I can trust you," said Jamal. "And so that I know the white people will not take your money and beat you with a stick. You go alone. We will wait for you here."

We sat in my car, with Jamal on the right side of the rear seat as I sat in my driver's seat,  as Frank walked to the nearby Bank of America ( BofA ) to take money from his account.

As Frank started to walk toward BofA, Jamal told me to call him back. I called Frank back.

Jamal asked Frank if he was sure that he was safe and would not have any trouble with the white man in the bank. Frank assured him that he was safe to enter the bank and take money out of his own account.

This is the side of The UPS Store building across the parking lot behind my parked blue Hyundai Accent.

 -

Of course, from where I sat, I ( Red Flag! ) couldn't see Frank walking toward the bank because The UPS STORE building was conveniently blocking the view.

This is the back side of the Bank of America ( BofA ) building, across the parking lot from The UPS Store building, where the would-be scam artists tried to get me to withdraw the full amount of money I have in my savings account. 

-

As we sat in my car waiting for Frank, Jamal told me that his "lawyer" said that there is a "magic card" that anyone can use to take money from banks. He asked me if that was true. I told him that I wasn't clear on what he meant. He said that the "magic card" is a ( Red Flag! He was leading me on ) deb... card. Oh, you mean a debit card, I said. Well, yeah, you can take money from banks with a debit card because it is your own money that you have in your debit card account. But I don't have a debit card. I only have credit cards ( Note: Credit Cards are safer to have in your possession ). He asked me if I could take money out of my credit card. I told him that I use my credit card to buy some things, that--in my own experience--I have never taken money out of my credit card.

Frank came back with a BofA money envelope which was 1/3rd-inch thick with ( supposedly ) $100.oo bills. Frank sat in the front passenger seat. I couldn't help but notice a skin growth on the left side of Frank's neck: It was about 1/2 inch long by 1 inch in circumference.

Jamal asked Frank about the "magic card" that his "lawyer" told him about. Frank said that it was possible to take money out of a credit account as a cash advance. Of course it was, but I reiterated that I had never taken money out of my credit card at all.

Jamal asked for Frank's money envelope so that he could put it together with his $100,000.oo rolled-up bundle in a black "prayer cloth" that he got from his Zulu mother. Then, Jamal said that we should put our hands together as he prayed a silent Muslim ( or Zulu? ) prayer of blessing. Frank put out his left hand, Jamal put out his right hand and I put my right hand over theirs. Jamal pressed down his right hand 4 times as he recited his silent prayer of blessing.

Then, Jamal asked Frank to step out of the car so that we could drive around the block to test Frank's trust in us. Jamal wanted to be sure that Frank would not cry like a little girl when we drove off with his money. As we drove around the block, with the prayer cloth full of money wedged between my legs ( as my sign of disrespect for the scam ), I asked Jamal why he couldn't just put the money in the bank ( Of course he couldn't because anything that's $10,000.oo or more that's deposited into any account would have to be reported to the FBI. And he couldn't make a deposit because he didn't have any form of ID on his person ) and give checks to charity. He said that the money had to be donated anonymously and that he was out of time and would just have to trust me and Frank to donate the money for him. Because if he took the money back to South Africa, people would kill him for it--not just the whites but the blacks, too. He said that, in his village, black bad guys would even go so far as to stomp on a baby's head and kill it in order to take money from helpless victims. So he couldn't even bury the money in the ground because if people suspected that he had money, he and his three wives and children would be at peril. We drove around the block and came back to see Frank waiting patiently for us near where I parked my car.

So, Frank had earned Jamal's trust and was now allowed to put Jamal's rolled-up $100,000.oo into Frank's safe deposit box with the stipulation that 80% of Jamal's money must be donated to charitable causes. Jamal said that Frank could not tell his family about the money but ( Red Flag! ) he could help his family first because family always comes first among Jamal's people.

"Did you count the money?" said Jamal. Frank said that his allergy was acting-up and he didn't have time to count or check the money that he put in his safe deposit box ( Red Flag! False sense of security---He probably hid the "money" in his car parked at the opposite side of The UPS Store ). And just to prove a point, Frank asked me if he could have a paper napkin that I kept handy in my car's sundry section just below the cigarette lighter so that he could wipe his teary eyes with it.

Now, it was my turn to earn Jamal's trust. Jamal asked me to disclose to him and to Frank the amount of money I have in the bank. I had just made deposits into my Benicia, CA, BofA savings account and my Benicia, CA, Chase Bank checking account earlier today. So, after guesstimating the amount of money I have in each account, and telling them that I have X amount in my safe deposit box, I showed them my deposit slips as proof of my word ( Note: It is perfectly safe to show your deposit slip to a stranger because your personal information is safeguarded unless, of course, the stranger holds a gun to your head. But this was not an armed robbery, it was a "confidence scam" ). As it turned out, my guesstimate on my BofA account was a little more than what I actually have in it. Anyway, Jamal wanted me to go to the nearby BofA and take my money out of my savings account and give it to him as a show of trust. I thought about it momentarily then said, "I shouldn't have to take out the full amount since Frank only took out $6,000.oo from his safe deposit box which is just 10% of the full amount." I wanted to put out only 10% of what I have in my BofA savings account because it was the fair and equitable thing to do ( I can be a pain at times, but rightfully so ). After a little bit of back-and-forth haggling, the exasperated Jamal stepped out of my car and told Frank, "I don't trust this man!"

Frank, the "confidence man", tried to sweet-talk me into falling for the scam one last and final time. "Look, Jamal is giving away all of his money. I don't know about you, but he would be better off giving that money to us than to some untrustworthy people out there. See, he's already trying to get somebody else to replace you." I saw Jamal trying to solicit some other black man.

I reminded Frank that he only put-up 10% of his money as a show of trust. And I should only have to put-up only 10% of my money, too.

Frank said, "He's illiterate. He doesn't know anything about percentages ( Red Flag! Jamal offered Frank 20% of $100,000.oo and he offered me 30% of the other $100,000.oo just a short while ago )."

I told Frank, I don't trust him.

"Okay," said Frank. "You're losing out on a lot of money. I'll just help him and keep the ( percentage? ) money to myself." Frank stepped-out of my car.

Then, I drove off. I looked at my watch. It was already around 2:00 p.m. Damn, that's enough time for a movie, I said to myself. I should write a movie script about this! The thought of pigging-out at Selecta Pilipino Buffet was no longer in my mind. I just went home, instead.

I rested for a few hours before I drove to Fairfield to see this movie.

********************************************

The next day, Friday, I drove by the Vallejo Police Department to file a report at 11:58 a.m. The walk-in appointments were unavailable for Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. I just used the outside 'phone box to speak with the dispatcher. I told her about the Nigerian Prince Scam that some guys tried to pull on me yesterday. She told me that I should have reported it yesterday--and I should have. But in the time that I wasted the scammers' time as they tried to scam me out of my own money, they were too preoccupied to try and scam some gullible people out there. So, in a way, I did my civic duty to keep the city safe from scammers for at least two hours. Anybody who falls for a scam like this that throws out so many Red Flags! deserves to get scammed, I'm sorry to say---But this is just I, the analytical Cine-Man, talking.

*

WE'RE THE MILLERS, R ( 1 hr & 50 min )

-

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
show: 11:45 a.m.
costs: $6.75 Ticket + $6.50 Lite Bites = $13.25
auditorium: 12
seat: 4th row ( counting from the front ), 8ht row ( counting from the left )

synopsis/overview: David ( Jason Sudeikis ), a  small-time drug dealer, is left with no choice but to become an unwilling drug-mule for his supplier Brad ( Ed Helms ) when some thugs steal his stash and cash. He must go to Mexico to pick-up the latest shipment of Marijuana. To avoid suspicion, he "recruits" a runaway girl, Casey ( Emma Roberts ), and his two neighbors, Kenny and Rose ( Will Poulter and Jennifer Aniston ), to act as his family, and puts them in a rented RV for the cross-border drug-run. But a couple of bad guys chase after them to get the shipment and to kill them all. Unless they can come up with a plan to save themselves from the fate that awaits them.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) YouTube videos; 2.) Envious former college classmate; 3.) "Boner Garage"; 4.) Neighbors; 5.) "He's a drug dealer"; 6.) Garbage bin; 7.) "Hi, 'you ordered two black guys"; 8.) "Take it easy on the plastic"; 9.) Orca; 10.) Pablo Chacon; 11.) "You don't have a choice"; 12.) Idea; 13.) "I need you to be my wife"; 14.) "I know a girl"; 15.) A minor policy change at the club; 16.) Eviction notice; 17.) "You look like Eminem from 8 MILE"; 18.) "Right here"; 19.) Period; 20.) Family meeting; 21.) Recreational vehicle; 22.) "This is a job"; 23.) Firework; 24.) "This is a little more than a smidge"; 25.) Ice sculpture; 26.) Mother's gift; 27.) Namaste; 28.) Bad cop; 29.) Homophobic; 30.) RV family; 31.) Joint; 32.) "You have a baby"; 33.) Illegal aliens; 34.) The song; 35.) The real Pablo Chacon ( Tomer Sisley ); 36.) "Weight distribution, loading and towing"; 37.) "Roman candle"; 38.) Glove compartment; 39.) "Why isn't there blood"; 40.) Campfire games; 41.) Skateboard; 42.) Hug; 43.) "Count to three"; 44.) "We've discussed a scenario like this"; 45.) "Mother to mother"; 46.) Kisses; 47.) "Fishing in the same fishing hole"; 48.) Garage; 49.) Striptease; 50.) Spider; 51.) Hazard pay; 52.) "You seem like a very caring father"; 53.) "No Ragrets"; 54.) Wheelchair; 55.) "You guys are getting paid"; 56.) "You aggressive woman. 'Know what I'm saying"; 57.) "You can buy a house and run away from it"; 58.) Confessions; 59.) Big mug; 60.) "And I don't like what you do to my man whenever we meet"; 61.) Fireworks; 62.) "I want you to use those strip ties on me tonight"; 63.) "And I will do just that right after I turn around to hug my family"; 64.) "Dickmove"; 65.) "White Nerd Testicle Fail"; 66.) New neighbors; 67.) Weeds; 68.) Bonus Scenes during the Ending Credits; and 69.) Voice-Over after the Ending Credits.

favorite scenes: I liked the Surprise Kitten YouTube Video scene.

I liked the Garbage Bin scene.

I liked the Baby Road Incident scene.

audience reaction: The audience really liked this movie. But nobody gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation: I liked this Road Trip/Action Comedy movie. Go see this if you like funny movies.

spoiler alert! Strippers don't put on their outfits right after a show, they just leave their outfits off and cover-up themselves with a robe ( from what I've seen years ago ) as they cool-off before their next show. After a short break in the dressing room, and as they wait for their next turn onstage, they hustle the crowd first. It takes a while to make an ice sculpture; therefore, it should have been done inside a walk-in freezer. Shouldn't it have been so obvious to the other RV family that there was something wrong with the baby because it was all completely covered-up? The towed RV was towed with a pair of cables and there was nobody inside of it to steer it and work its brakes. So, how did the towed RV come to a stop without rear-ending the other RV? When he was at the hospital, he said that he was still in Mexico even though they had already crossed the border back into the US the day before. They don't let you take a wheelchair like that away from the hospital entrance! Why wasn't the online White Nerd Testicle Fail censored?

horndog alert! The striptease act is more tease than strip. And the three brief nudity scenes ( beginning, middle and ending scenes--boy! they sure got their bases covered ) are not to your liking.

fyi: Back in college, I dated a beautiful English-American classmate. I took her on a Dinner/Movie Date. We went to see FROM BEYOND ( 1986 ). After the movie, I leaned over to give her a simple kiss. She stuck her tongue in my mouth---I didn't know that she was actually "French"! Then she proceeded to lick my face; and my beard ended-up soaking wet. I just followed her lead. We went out on a few more dates after that. Then, she stopped dating me because she said that I was an "animal"---And this came from someone who acted like a "lap-happy puppy" from the get-go!!! Sheeesh ... I swear ....

Is it just my imagination, or does Jennifer Aniston like to wear "pokey nipples" bra? 'Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

word of advice: Don't do drugs.

If Life gives you a second chance, don't mess it up.

tidbits: When I went to the concessions counter to order the Lite Bites ( small drink, box of popcorn and beef jerky ), the girl at the counter asked me which one I'd like as a drink. I told her that I'd pick it myself. As I filled-up my cup with Powerade Mountain Berry Blast at the soda fountain, I realized that if I took my time filling-up my cup, the concessions clerk would be forced to fill-up my popcorn box all the way full ( they usually put the cup in the box first before putting popcorn in it ). That's what I'll do from now on to get my money's worth! Hey, they charge an arm and a leg on concessions items after all.

It was around 2:00 p.m. when I got back into my car. As I was leaving the theatre's parking lot, I saw a "woman driver" bitch in a black SUV drive across parking spaces throughout the whole length of the lot. They should put-in parking lot bumpers to keep this from happening and causing accidents!

Parking lot bumpers. I got this from the Internet.

I should install a Dash Cam on my car so I can catch irresponsible lowlife drivers such as this and report them to the cops!

*********************************************

One day, at school, the teacher asked her pupils what the most important punctuation mark is.

One girl said, "The Question Mark, because it makes people curious and makes them learn something new."

And a boy said, "It's the Exclamation Point, because it makes people good leaders and good decision makers."

"What about you, Johnny, what do you think is the most important punctuation mark?"

"It's gotta be the Period," said little Johnny.

"And why is that so?"

"Because my father got so angry and threatened to kill my sister just because she missed one."

*

ELYSIUM, R ( 1 hr & 49 min )

-

where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when: Thursday, August 8ht, 2013
show: 10:00 p.m.
costs: $11.50 Ticket + $1.00 upgrade on a Free Small Popcorn ( reward earned on my movie-watcher card ) + $4.75 32.0 oz small Fruit Punch = $17.25
auditorium: 5
seat: 3rd row ( counting from the front ), 9th column ( counting from the left )

synopsis/overview: In a future dichotomous Earth of 141 years from now, life is sharply delineated between two classes of people: The "Haves" and The "Have-Nots". While the rich live on an orbiting space station called Elysium, the poor are stuck on Earth to live a hard-scrabble life. The "Haves" who live in an Elysian paradise are free from the worries of illnesses and diseases. While the "Have-Nots" on Earth desperately try to gain access to the "Haves's" advanced medical resources by criminal means. When a factory worker, Max ( Matt Damon ), accidentally becomes irradiated and is given just days left to live, he takes on a deadly assignment to override the Elysian's system and gain access to the medical technology that could save his life and the lives of the disease-infested poor people on Earth.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) "I will take us there someday"; 2.) "Hair products, mostly ..."; 3.) Hospital; 4.) Parole officer; 5.) Undocumented space shuttle; 6.) "Activate Kruger ( Sharlto Copley )"; 7.) "Reconstruction complete"; 8.) Door malfunction; 9.) "I don't want to replace the bedding in there"; 10.) Discharged; 11.) "I've been looking for someone to do a job for me"; 12.) "That's the mark"; 13.) "Are you suggesting a coup"; 14.) Surgery; 15.) "Gave you a way out"; 16.) "Citizen in distress"; 17.) Droids; 18.) Cardio-Thoracic Trauma; 19.) Synchronizing; 20.) Data heist; 21.) Government goons; 22.) Pig cart; 23.) No-Fly Zone; 24.) Tattoo; 25.) "She's dying"; 26.) Bandages; 27.) "Meerkat and hippo"; 28.) "I think we got him"; 29.) "Close your eyes"; 30.) "The flight system is jammed"; 31.) "Reboot program"; 32.) "I always wanted a wife"; 33.) "I'll expect you in 19 minutes"; 34.) "Let's get up there"; 35.) Grenade explosion; 36.) Act of war; 37.) Error; 38.) Facial reconstruction; 39.) "Lethal radiation poisoning detected"; 40.) "She needs some medical attention"; 41.) Sabotage; 42.) "It will, this time"; 43.) "They're headed for med-bay"; 44.) "There's no coming back from this"; 45.) The promise; 46.) Reboot; and 47.) EMS shuttles.

audience reaction: The audience liked this. A lady, in particular, really enjoyed it when the bad guys were blown to bits--I'd hate to piss her off!  She and another person gave this movie a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation: I didn't like this as much as the violence-loving lady did. This movie offers-up a simpleton approach to such a complex issue. The Shoot-Outs are this movie's "to-die-for" scenes ( pun intended ). Go see this movie if you're a Sci-Fi Movie fan.

spoiler alert! They still have Adidas shoes 141 years from now? Those robots looked very technologically advanced and would be more than capable of doing factory work more efficiently than their human counterparts ever could. The surgery "room" and the surgery, itself, were not aseptic! They still have replacement parts for 140 year-old cars? Back in 1999, my mechanic had to scrounge around for a replacement part for my 1978 Honda Civic Hondamatic CVCC; and in 2010, a year-and-a-half before my 1994 Geo Metro was totally vandalized by some low-lifes, a tire center had to look hard on the Internet for a new set of size-12 tires for my car. But apparently, in the future, they still have ready access to replacement parts for cars---Maybe, if the cars were the old-style Volkswagen Beetles! Which, obviously, they weren't. Why did he not finish-off the bad guy when he still had the chance? Because of his less-than-sanitary state, the knife wound in his abdomen would have caused a full-blown case of Peritonitis, leading to Organ Failure and Death. ( My Anatomy and Physiology professor once said that a person can die from severe Peritonitis in less than a day. ) What was that thing on the nurse's ( Alice Braga ) bookshelf at home, a corded 'phone 141 years from now?!?!?! You'd think that such appliances would be cordless by then! When the shuttle was flying up to Elysium at an angle perpendicular to Earth's surface, and the craft was still in Earth's gravitational field, the people in the shuttle were still seated normally. When Max was pinned down behind the desk, why didn't the bad guy go closer to him to shoot at him from above the desk? An exoskeleton suit with nipple headlights---What will they think of next? How could he fight normally with the kind of knife wound that he had? Why did the idiot president bang on the metal doors while it was being blow-torched? Lastly, Elysium's structure and atmosphere don't provide adequate protection against meteors, asteroids, comets, etc.

fyi: This two-dimensional movie is an obviously manipulative commentary on the "Immigration Issue" at work here in the US. And having the Earth scenes' setting as Los Angeles, CA, while the actual film shooting was done in Mexico, and having the Earth inhabitants speak in a combination of English and Spanish, just drive home that glaringly-obvious point!

If you must know, I am against giving amnesty to those who entered this country illegally ( read: criminally ). Why? Those who enter and stay in this country unlawfully are mostly the uneducated minimum-wage earners who work only for cash and more than likely never contribute any tax dollars to fund social security and welfare services. If they are granted amnesty, they will immediately qualify for food stamps and other government-funded social welfare programs at a time when we are TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS DEEP IN DEFICIT SPENDING, and the money needed to fund low-income family aids will then have to come out of the Social Security System's monetary fund that I and other Baby-Boomers have faithfully contributed tax dollars to throughout the years in the hope that there will be money in the SS fund for us when it comes time for us to retire! But giving amnesty to millions of illegal aliens will take money away from that fund! If the tens of millions of illegal aliens want to be given amnesty, they had better pay-up first and foremost for all those years that THEY DID NOT PAY Local, State and Federal Taxes!!! Nobody Rides The Bus For Free, if you ask a responsible citizen like me! Because I and the rest of the Baby-Boomers out there who are at, or are near retirement age, don't want anybody dipping into the SS fund that we worked so hard for! Amen to that!!!

If you are sick with the Flu but can't afford to buy Cold and Flu Medicine and you know that I have such medicine in my medicine cabinet at home, does that knowledge give you the right to break into my house and steal what belongs to me? Of course not! But this movie's message about "Irresponsible and Unwarranted Entitlement" says that it's okay for you to do so because otherwise you won't have access to such medicine any other way! WHAT A LOT OF BULL THIS MOVIE IS!!!

word of advice: Strengthen and secure your borders.

tidbits: After the movie, I went to the Fairfield Super Wal-Mart to buy some shoes. As I walked down a women's shoe aisle on my way to the men's shoes' section, I noticed a black pair of walking shoes that looked like it was just my size. The shoes were a size 11-Women's. I wear a size 8 1/2-Men's. But, lately, my shoes have been ill-fitting; and I wanted to try out a size 9-Men's. I took the size 11-Women's walking shoes to the men's shoe aisle and compared it with a size 9-Men's. They were both the same exact size! And the size 11-Women's fitted me perfectly. But the size 11-Women's was $10.00 cheaper! So ... guess which pair I bought?

The first day that I took my new shoes out on a walk, they felt light on my feet and were very comfortable. And I think that I even detected a little sway in my hips as I walked! Ha, ha, ha. But it will be a frozen day in Hell before you see me walk around in a pair of stiletto-heeled women's shoes. LOL

In my teens, I wore size 8 shoes. After high school, I started wearing size 8 1/2 shoes. But, now, it seems that I have graduated into size 9 shoes. Hey! 'you know what they say about guys who wear big shoes, don't you? They wear big "socks"! Ha, ha, ha---Snort!

*

PERCY JACKSON: SEA OF MONSTERS, PG ( 1 hr & 46 min )

-

where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Friday, August 9th, 2013
show: 8:20 p.m. in 3-D
costs: $14.00 Ticket + $4.50 medium 30.0 oz Powerade Mountain Berry Blast
auditorium: 2
seat: 4th row ( counting from the front ), 6th column ( counting from the left )

synopsis/overview: Camp Half-Blood and its demigods are threatened when its protective barrier becomes compromised. Although Percy ( Logan Lerman ) is feeling less than heroic of late, it is up to him once again to save his kind and the rest of the world from an evil force hell-bent on revenge by going on a quest to find the Golden Fleece somewhere in the Sea of Monsters, a.k.a. Bermuda Triangle.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Four children; 2.) Barrier; 3.) "Christians have a guy who can do this in reverse. Now, that's a God"; 4.) "He saved Olympus. That's more than you've ever done"; 5.) Important task; 6.) "The spawn of which god"; 7.) Brother; 8.) "Ocularly-impaired"; 9.) "Smells like bull"; 10.) "Our annihilation"; 11.) Attic oracle; 12.) "Mr. Undershirt"; 13.) "Grand idea"; 14.) "Her name, he gets right"; 15.) "I'm not going without one"; 16.) Mist; 17.) "Chariot of damnation"; 18.) "Thirty, 31, 75, twelve"; 19.) Capitol Building; 20.) Coffee shop; 21.) "There were other half-bloods who turned"; 22.) The UPS Store; 23.) '"Best TV show ever ... cancelled"; 24.) Hippocampus; 25.) "You lecture me about Thalia ( Paloma Kwiatkowski ) when you're hanging around with him"; 26.) Brig; 27.) "They're vicious and they're dangerous"; 28.) "Don't walk on my roof"; 29.) "Not this again"; 30.) "You will know vengeance and the Olympians who scorned us will know death"; 31.) Boy Scouts; 32.) "His kind killed Thalia"; 33.) "Those aren't sharks"; 34.) Zombies; 35.) Stomach ache; 36.) "Aye, eye .... 'Sorry"; 37.) Amusement park; 38.) "It's a small world, after all"; 39.) "Do not let that go viral"; 40.) "You're a dude! Well, that explains a lot"; 41.) "You'd do it for me"; 42.) "I never called him, brother"; 43.) "Hi, brother"; 44.) "My favorite"; 45.) "Cursed blade"; 46.) "I make my own destiny"; 47.) "I have faith in you"; 48.) "You don't need this anymore"; and 49.) "Another living child of the eldest gods."

audience reaction: The audience liked it. And some people in the audience gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation: I liked it enough. It's a must-see for the Percy Jackson book series out there.

spoiler alert: Why were there no sentries posted to guard the entrance? I fail to see how a mechanical bull would smell like a real bull! What, there was no demigod at all in that camp which could foresee danger? ( That's bull! Pun intended. ) You know, a piece of hard metal can easily f*ck-up mechanical gears. The pair of sunglasses that the young Cyclops half-blood, Tyson ( Douglas Smith ), wore would only serve to impair his vision because the bridge ( a thick one at that, in this case ) would be directly in his line of sight! Duh .... He might be fire-proofed; but I don't think his clothes and eyeglasses were. So, shouldn't he have been butt-naked by then? When the yacht was tossed about by the waves, a port hole in the brig popped open but no water rushed in! Are you telling me that all that time she was semi-buried under that tree, her clothes somehow grew along with her? If I were the director, she'd be wakened-up butt-naked!

-

fyi: Is Brandon T. Jackson's Satyr character's name, Grover Underwood, in reference to this product name?

I found this on the Internet.

-

word of advice: Looks can be deceiving.

tidbits: I actually saw this movie, in 2-D, first on Wednesday at 4:20 p.m., at this theatre,  but I fell asleep through-out most of it---I ate a big meal at Selecta Pilipino Buffet before then! So, I had to see it again to finish my notes--and to blog about it.

*

LOVELACE, R ( 1 hr & 33 min )

-

where: AMC METREON 16 in San Francisco, CA
when: Sunday, August 11th, 2013
show: 3:05 p.m.
costs: $10.75 Ticket + $6.18 meal at MacDonald's Restaurant before the movie + $8.20 roundtrip BART Train ticket + $5.00 Carquinez Bridge Toll = $30.13
auditorium: 8, 3rd floor
seat: 6th row ( counting from the front ), 8ht column (  counting from the left )

synopsis/overview: In the early '70s, a young unwed mother named Linda Boreman ( Amanda Seyfried ) is lured into the porn business by her sleaze-ball husband/manager Chuck Traynor ( Peter Sarsgaard ) and becomes a world-famous actress known for her one particular skill.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) Skating rink; 2.) Dinner; 3.) "Almost there, ma"; 4.) "I love your freckles"; 5.) "Body control technique"; 6.) Restaurant; 7) "That is art, baby"; 8.) "Many skills"; 9.) Stage names; 10.) "You see that. That's gonna be a problem"; 11.) "We're all gonna win Oscars"; 12.) "I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong"; 13.) Johnny Carson Show; 14.) Private screening; 15.) Polygraph test; 16.) Customer; 17.) "How dare you come here and tell me I don't understand"; 18.) "I don't think that's them balling"; 19.) Toast; 20.) Linda Lovelace Enterprises; 21.) "Life imitates Art"; 22.) "I saw your movie"; 23.) Private party; 24.) Autograph; 25.) "I just can't do it anymore"; 26.) "We switched rooms"; 27.) "They believe me"; 28.) Phil Donahue Show; 29.) Seventeen days; and 30.) Character updates.

audience reaction: The audience, mostly people of a certain age ( ahem! ), seemed to like this movie.

recommendation: I went to see this mainly to know Linda Lovelace's personal background. Go see this movie if you're interested in knowing more about the Number 1 porn movie of all time.

spoiler alert! You'd think that a movie such as this would be made with an NC-17 rating! I can understand the use of grainy film to shoot the TV interviews and the porno movie clips with to give this period piece a certain "feel" to it. But the rest of the movie should have been shot in clear, crisp hi-def video.

fyi: I was still living in the Philippines when Linda Lovelace and DEEP THROAT became infamous. The local newspaper printed an article on Linda Lovelace accompanied by a photo of her in a white see-through dress topped with a wide brim white hat. Ah ... that dot-matrix image of Ms. Lovelace is forever etched in my selectively photographic memory! Heh, heh, heh.

When my family moved here, I was pleasantly surprised to see DEEP THROAT emblazoned across the marquee of the PUSSYCAT THEATRE in downtown Oakland, CA, on Broadway Avenue. I didn't know back then that this theatre was a rated-X theatre---Hey! just so you know, this was back before DVD discs and before VHS tapes were the porn norm. ( Yup, I'm sure showing my age now. ) I took a bus to go to this theatre, only to be deeply ( no pun intended  ;- ) disappointed that I was still too young to go see it. And, honestly, I had the "raging-hormones" Hots for Linda Lovelace way back then.

I never saw the DEEP THROAT movie at all! Maybe, I should, come to think about it.

word of advice: Learn the signs of an abusive relationship early on and bail-out right-quick!

Pick something you're good at and master it. ( Whatever that skill happens to be. )

tidbits: Early this morning at work ( I worked the Night Crew shift ), I told my co-worker, Clifford, that I was going to San Francisco to catch a Philippine Festival at the Yerba Buena Gardens. Then I told him that I planned on seeing this movie, afterward, since it's showing next door to the gardens at the AMC Metreon. I asked Cliff if he knew Linda Lovelace. He did.

And Cliff added, "Didn't she die of Cancer?"

No, I said. She died in a car crash when she lost control of her Kia Sportage.

"I thought she died of Cancer," said Cliff.

What cancer ... Deep tissue Throat Cancer? I quipped. He laughed. ( I can really be bad at times! Sorry, folks .... )

After work, I went home first to have a light breakfast, to take a shower and then to change clothes before heading off for San Francisco. On my way to the El Cerrito Del Norte BART Train Station, I almost fell asleep behind the wheel a few times. Luckily for me ( but not for the one[s] involved, obviously ), there was an accident further down the freeway which slowed down traffic long enough for me to "recharge my batteries" and to become wide awake and alert once again.

Once I got on the train platform, I realized that I had left my tally counter in my car. And I wasn't in the mood to go fetch my tally counter and miss the train. I would have to do my Zhunti Mantra and my Namo Amitabha Mantra the hard way: Counting the repetitions with my fingers--while trying to stay awake!

So I got to the Yerba Buena Gardens that was lined with white vendor tents all around the perimeter. And there was a huge turn-out at the Pistahan ( Festival ). On the stage was a group dancing to some Salsa music!!! What the heck! Who invited the Hispanics to perform onstage at a Philippine Festival?!?!?!

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True, true. Pilipinos share a common Spanish heritage with the Mexicans and the Puerto Ricans--the Mexicans, especially--but the only place that I want to see some Salsa at a Philippine Festival is in a bowl for my Corn/Tortilla Chips! There, I've said it. Ha, ha, ha.

I wanted to call my Puerto Rican friend, Hector, on my cellphone to let him know that his "kind" gate-crashed a Philippine Festival, but nobody was home at his place in Oakland, CA. I bet he was somewhere in the crowd all along!

I didn't want to stay around for the "Hispanic portion" of the festival. So, I did a 12-minute walk back on Market Street to have lunch at a MacDonald's Restaurant, at 609 Market Street.

MacDonald's was crowded! Where am I gonna sit, I asked myself. When it came my turn to order, I chose the Daily Double Burger, a medium Sweet Tea and a large Fries, all for $6.18, tax included. As I waited for my order, I looked around and noticed that the place has a downstairs dining area.

I went downstairs to eat. I sat at the glass-partitioned far end where they have a round table with five chairs all around it.  Presently, I was joined by three Chinese females ( a young one and two older ones ). I guess they felt at ease in my presence because my extreme near-sightedness made my eyeglasses give my eyes that "Chinese look" effect!

Anyway ....

The Chinese ladies ordered a large serving of Fries with Monopoly game pieces on it. And they didn't seem interested in playing the Monopoly game. I was tempted to ask them for their game pieces. Who knows, they might have had the One Million Dollar game piece without even being aware of it. But I don't think that they'd be interested in giving me their 4 game pieces. After all, to them, I was just an "optical illusion"-type of Chinese---And the conversation that they were having in their native tongue was probably centered around that just-realized fact!

On my way back to Yerba Buena Gardens, I decided to take a short cut through this side street, Annie Street. I regretted my decision as I crossed Ambrose Bierce Street because it reeked of urine---Pee-yew!

Speaking of Urine, some Chinese scientists have come up with a way to regrow teeth in lab mice using Stem Cells collected from Urine. If they need more Urine for their lab experiments, Ambrose Bierce Street in San Francisco, CA, has plenty of it to go around--and it's all for free! Ha, ha, ha.

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I took the above photo on the 3rd floor of the AMC Metreon after I had purchased my movie ticket. The performer onstage is a white man who sang some lounge music for the crowd---You know, come to think of it, I didn't see any Pilipino performers onstage at all! What was up with that ....

After the movie, I went back to the ground floor to look for an outlet for  my computer's electric cord. But the dining areas were filled with people. I had to go outside to start my blog on this movie on the top step of the back entrance, beside a handrail.

The festival vendors were already packing-up for the day as an Oriental lady was busy rummaging through the trash receptacles looking for, and collecting, cans and bottles. A security guard ushered her out of the compound, gently pressing her on with his hand to her back. Some Pilipina girls ( 3 ) didn't like what they saw and accosted the white guard; they said that the guard shouldn't be touching the woman like that! ( You know, a lawyer would come up with a way to make this act as some sort of sexual harassment, I bet. ) A young black man gave the Oriental lady some money for her trouble. And the Oriental lady called the cops on her cellphone. Two white police officers showed up a few minutes later. Apparently, the guard was within his company policy rights to escort the woman off the premises.

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2 GUNS, R ( 1 hr & 49 min )

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where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Thursday, August 1st, 2013
show: 9:30 p.m. Advanced Screening
costs: $10.50 Ticket + $1.00 3.1 oz Cookie Dough Bites Red Velvet Cupcake Bites ( bought at the nearby Dollar Tree Store prior to seeing this movie, and smuggled-in ) + $4.50 1-litre Dasani Water = $16.00

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auditorium: 4

seat: 3rd row ( counting from the front ), 8ht column ( counting from the left )

synopsis/overview: Two undercover investigators, US Naval Intelligence Officer Marcus Stigman ( Mark Wahlberg ) and DEA agent Bobby Trench ( Denzel Washington ), infiltrate a Mexican drug cartel but eye each other with suspicion when they are forced to partner-up together. After they recover drug money, their aliases are discovered. And their respective agencies disavow any knowledge of their existence as they are hunted down by bad guys at every turn. They must work together to clear their names and fight for their lives.

noteworthy scenes: 1.) "That's a lot of doughnuts"; 2.) Tip; 3.) Informant's head; 4.) Chickens; 5.) "Do I have to do it in front of him"; 6.) Police station; 7.) Baby; 8.) No show; 9.) Badge; 10.) "God's son-of-a-bitch"; 11.) "More than likely"; 12.) Border patrol; 13.) "Toss the gun"; 14.) Veterinarian; 15.) "Case in point"; 16.) 'Phone; 17.) "Where's our money"; 18.) "I got dibs"; 19.) "Alright, let me go"; 20.) "Hold on. Let me put that in there with you"; 21.) "Ten percent of my revenue"; 22.) "Daddy issues"; 23.) "Mexican Albert Einstein"; 24.) "Your people"; 25.) "That was messed-up"; 26.) "Just don't get those pissy hands on me"; 27.) "Twenty-four hours"; 28.) Plan; 29.) AWOL; 30.) The safe; 31.) "I really meant to love you"; 32.) "There is no code"; 33.) The ring; 34.) Motel; 35.) Ranch; 36.) "I never miss"; 37.) "You're my people"; 38.) Money; and 39.) "You're saying something."

audience reaction: The audience liked this movie. And someone gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

recommendation: It's a good enough Action Movie. But I suspect that people--horndogs, especially--will go to see this movie for one reason only: Deb ( Paula Patton )! If you believe that Paula Patton is HOT ( and she definitely is by any horndog's set of standards ), then You Must See This Movie!!!

spoiler alert! Okay, the only way that the restaurant's gas cooking range would explode like that was if the cook turned-on all the gas stoves and left them on but the pilot lights somehow remained unlit. But the cook would have known whether or not the stove-top pilot lights were functional the moment that he started cooking that morning. And why would a cook turn-on all the gas stoves when he wasn't using all of them in the first place? Why didn't the neighbors hear the gunshots? If you are a bad guy with a beautiful, hot and sexy young female hostage totally and helplessly at your mercy, I don't think you'd remain faithful to your fat and/or ugly old wife!!! ( 'Just sayin .... ) The initial shoot-out at the ranch was pure B.S.

fyi: It is commonly believed among Conspiracy Theorists that the government has a "black budget" which is funded by drug money.

I prefer electric stoves over gas stoves. And this movie clearly shows the reason for my personal preference!

word of advice: Don't mess with the government.

tidbits: I went to the Dollar Tree Store in the Target Shopping Center first, to buy some stuff. That was when I decided to buy the Red Velvet Cupcake Bites to sneak into the theatre with me.

At 10:10 p.m., some idiot seated somewhere in the back rows yelled out, "No!" I don't know what the heck that was all about.

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THE SMURFS 2 in 3-D, PG ( 1 hr & 45 min )

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I went to see this today, Monday, August 5th, 2013, here in Vallejo, CA, at the CENTURY 14 VALLEJO for the 5:55 p.m. 3-D show in auditorium 2, 4th row ( counting from the front ), 7th column ( counting from the left ). The price of admission was $11.25. And I bought a $2.48 bag of bulk Chocolate Candies and a $4.50 medium 30.0 oz Powerade Mountain Berry Blast at the concessions counter.

Quickie Review: Now a world-famous sorcerer, Gargamel ( voiced by Hank Azaria ) obsesses about harnessing the Smurf-essence so that he can dominate the whole world with it! His Smurf-like creations, a pair of Naughties, Vexy ( voiced by Christina Ricci ) and Hackus ( voiced by J. B. Smoove ), prove to be big disappointments to him as he realizes that only a true Smurf can give him what he wants. He captures Smurfette ( voiced by Katy Perry ) to extract the Smurf-essence formula from her and to get her to use a spell that can turn the Naughties into Smurfs that he can further exploit. But will Smurfette switch sides and betray the Smurfs or will the Smurfs' love for her save her from the evil influence of Gargamel?

The audience liked it. But nobody gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

I liked it. It has a message about what a family is all about that won't be lost on the small brats who see this movie---One could only hope!

Be sure to stay around 'til after the Ending Credits when a Gargamel and Azrael Bonus Scene is shown.

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