where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Friday, August 27th, 2010
show: 12:15 p.m.
costs: $6.25 Ticket + $4.25 junior Popcorn w/ Butter + $4.00 small Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke + $6.49 McDonald's # 14 Angus Mushroom & Swiss Value Meal with Diet Coke ( w/ Dr. Pepper flavor ) = $20.99
auditorium: 7
seat: 5th row, 8ht column
synopsis: A preacher, Rev. Cotton Marcus ( Patrick Fabian ), has a guilty conscience about all the exorcism scams that he has pulled on unsuspecting folks for many years and has decided to come clean in a film-documented final exorcism.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) Child preacher; 2.) "It's never boring"; 3.) Card trick; 4.) Banana bread; 5.) Exorcism book; 6.) Postal mail box; 7.) Fraud; 8.) "Thank you, Doctor"; 9.) Victor Turoy; 10.) Exorcism scams; 11.) Letter; 12.) Linen; 13.) Breeding ground; 14.) Caleb Sweetzer ( Caleb Landry Jones ); 15.) Farmer Louis Sweetzer ( Louis Herthum ); 16.) Nell Sweetzer ( Ashley Bell ); 17.) Grave; 18.) Nickel allergy; 19.) Threat; 20.) Pan of water; 21.) Abalam; 22.) "We have no problems now"; 23.) Tricks of the trade; 24.) Money; 25.) Prophecy; 26.) Health insurance; 27.) Motel room; 28.) Hospital; 29.) Pastor Manley ( Tony Bentley ); 30.) Knife attack; 31.) Note; 32.) Chain; 33.) Sleep walking; 34.) Recording; 35.) 'Phone message; 36.) Video camera; 37.) Pictures; 38.) Conversation; 39.) Earthly matters; 40.) Banging noise; 41.) Crucified pose; 42.) Attack; 43.) Shotgun; 44.) "No control over what happens to me"; 45.) Second exorcism; 46.) Shame; 47.) Confession; 48.) Logan Winters ( Logan Craig Reid ); 49.) Satanic symbols; and 50.) The gathering.
audience reaction: Lukewarm, at best.
recommendation: Wait for this to come out as a rental.
spoiler alert! The ending of this movie didn't make sense at all, and was quite a let-down. First, what was Rev. Manley's secretary doing? Have you seen the size of the hands and forearms of that fat woman? Hasn't she ever heard of "coat-hanger"-style abortions? What Rev. Manley did did not make sense. I mean, if he did what he did as an exorcist, it didn't make any sense. If he did what he did as a satanist, it didn't make any sense, too. What Caleb did did not make sense, also. Why did the camera--with its incriminating evidence--not get destroyed right there and then? Why did the bonfire crowd disappear right away? Even with the clear prophetic images of their possible impending demise still fresh in their minds, why didn't the trio just make a run for it? The crucifix should not have been used for exorcisms by the preacher in this movie because it was used not as an instrument of faith but, rather, as a tool for mockery of the faith ( he did it for money ) and because it had a graven image on it which made it a symbol of Idolatry ( In other words, the evil spirits and the demons would have the proverbial "last laugh". ), New Testament of the Bible, Matthew 7: 22 & 23.
If this were a porno movie, it would be one that has a very extended foreplay but which only ends in a premature ejaculation! That's about how disappointing this movie is to me, analogically speaking.
The two movie posters that I chose to post above are, each in its own right, scarier than the movie, itself--and neither one is in the movie 'though one scene which is similar to the poster on the left was shown.
fyi: I remember in Art class back at the long-defunct Pacific High School in San Leandro, California, when a classmate brought a copy of the magazine, National Lampoon. He showed it to some of us when the teacher was not around. It had a "Popeye" comic strip which took his trademark line, "Well, blow me down," and turned it to, "Well, give me a blow-job, Olive." They laughed at this. But I leaned over a classmate's shoulder and, with a puzzled look in my face, asked him, What's a blow-job? Then, they all laughed at poor, innocent immigrant me. Word spread like wildfire on campus the next day as some of my classmates came up to me and asked me, "You don't know what a blow-job is?" And with all those pretty girls there, not one was kind and hospitable enough to explain it to me "orally", in a manner of speaking. Where was Regina Hoover when I needed her. Ha, ha, ha.
AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY IT IS CALLED, "BLOW-JOB!" I mean, after all, it's not done as an imitation of an Electric Fan but as an imitation of a Vacuum Cleaner, right ...? I just can't come ( pun intended ) to terms with this curious slang.
What so-called "christians" ( intentionally spelled with a lower case, "c" ) fail to realize is that Jesus Christ actually commanded evil spirits and demons. Likewise, so did His Apostles and Disciples. If you're a "christian" who is too scared to go see horror movies and/or who sleeps with the lights on, how do you think you'll react if and when an evil spirit or demon appears before you?
There is no Scriptural basis for the kind of exorcisms that Catholics and Protestants use. Think about it, did Jesus Christ, His Apostles and their disciples use the crucifix, holy water and a bible ( tools of the trade in the bag of tricks of present-day "exorcists" ) when they performed their exorcisms ( Again, Matthew 7: 22 & 23 )? Such tools are nothing but spiritual crutches! And you don't need them if you walk in the Faith. All you need to perform an exorcism are unshakable Faith and ceremonial cleanliness. Go back to the Old Testament's Leviticus to find out what I mean by ceremonial cleanliness as it pertains to the priesthood ( This, by the way, is the reason why Jesus Christ's Apostles could not cast out one particular demon. Matthew 17: 16 - 21 ).
This brings to mind a televised "faith revival" ministry shown on PBS back in the mid- to late- '80s. A woman walked up to the podium and told the huge crowd that she tried meditation. But sometime afterward, she had encounters with other-worldly entities, including evil ones, so she stopped meditating and became a "born-again christian", out of fear. When I watched that, I actually laughed for a moment. Then, I stopped because I felt pity for that fearful woman. Imagine what would have happened had a demon manifested itself before that whole assembly--pandemonium would have ensued! Even the pastors would have panicked and ran away! And all because they'd be ignorant of the fact that a True Christian deals with evil spirits and demons as part of his "job's" description.
I've actually had scarier encounters with other-worldly entities than what are shown in this movie, including a "bend-me-back" one.
word of advice: Since we are all born of Sin, evil spirits and demons know our every thought and our every defense. Don't be so stupid as to think that you got such enemies all figured out because each succeeding encounter just gets deadlier than the one before it. Trust me, I know.
If all else fails, invoke the name of Jesus Christ ( this is the fail-safe Defense ). This works so well that I save it for last. Why? Because I like getting a few licks in first since, to me, it's major payback time for all those years of torment that they inflicted upon me.
If evil spirits and demons are out to get you and are always trying to kill you, take it as a compliment. Why? In the world of Spirits, there are only two sides: The Good side and the Evil side. So, if evil entities attack you it is only because you are on the side of Good! If you keep this in mind, you will be able to preserve both your sanity and your life during such unwanted encounters. Again ... trust me, I know.
Test the spirits. New Testament of the Bible, 1st JOHN 4: 1 - 4.
tidbits: I am glad that I didn't go to the midnight showing of this movie because it's not scary enough to warrant sacrificing a good night's sleep.
attention: It is getting close to the Annual Weblog Awards. Please select from all my posts for this year and take the time to nominate one of my blogs--whichever one is your favorite--in the following categories: Best Entertainment Weblog, Most Humorous Weblog, Best-Kept Secret Weblog, and/or Best New Weblog. Thank you.
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