where: AMC STAR GRAND RAPIDS 18 in Grand Rapids, MI
when: Thursday, June 17th, 2010
show: 8:30 p.m.
costs: $0.00 ( my sister's treat )
auditorium: 15
seat: 10 row, 6th column
synopsis: Twelve-year old Dre Parker ( Jaden Smith ) moves with his mom to China. And as is almost always the case whenever a new kid moves in, he becomes a target for a local bully who's a Kung Fu prodigy, Cheng ( Zhenwei Wang ). But a kind old maintenance man, Mr. Han ( Jackie Chan ), takes pity on him and teaches him real Kung Fu. With proper guidance, knowledge, and new-found skills, Dre develops the confidence to face-off against Cheng.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) Detroit apartment; 2.) Plane ride; 3.) Beverly Hills Luxury Apartments; 4.) Mr. Han; 5.) Neighborhood playground; 6.) First day of school; 7.) Cafeteria; 8.) Instructional video; 9.) Interesting pole; 10.) Concert hall; 11.) Martial Arts Academy; 12.) Forbidden City; 13.) Splash; 14.) Rescue; 15.) Only bad teacher; 16.) Challenge; 17.) Real Kung Fu; 18.) Car in the living room; 19.) Jacket routine; 20.) Everybody knows; 21.) Festival; 22.) Everything is Kung Fu; 23.) Chi; 24.) Temple on top of mountain; 25.) Dragon well; 26.) Focus; 27.) Training; 28.) Playing hooky; 29.) Audition; 30.) Bad news; 31.) Car accident; 32.) Present; 33.) Promise kept; 34.) Elimination rounds; 35.) Rule book; 36.) "I don't want to be scared anymore"; 37.) "Injured Crane" technique; and 38.) Picture montage during the Ending Credits.
audience reaction: The audience and my sister and niece liked it.
recommendation: It's entertaining enough, and I would say that, martial arts-wise, it's a lot better than the original one. But there is quite a big lull in the middle of this movie--it should have been trimmed down a bit since, at two hours and twenty minutes long, there simply is not enough action going on to entertain the audience. Kids and Jackie Chan fans are the target audience for this remake.
My cheapskate friend, Hector, watched it on Movie2k.com and wasn't pleased with it. He said that it was dumb and too long. Well, he's dumb and too long in the tooth, too! Ha, ha, ha.
spoiler alert! That thing with the chopsticks--come on, now! I'm glad I don't eat with chopsticks when I go to Chinese buffets 'cause I don't know what they do with them behind my back. L.o.l. Why did Dre splash water on the other kids for? It simply didn't make sense since the other kids just wanted him to stay away. Why do the parents of the Kung Fu kids have them spar and compete without any protective gear on? At least four vulnerable areas of the upper body were exposed that could result in instant paralysis and/or death when hit with a well-aimed punch or kick! Not even the use of protective gear can sufficiently shield two of these four vulnerable areas from a deadly blow! I know since I've read reported cases in the newspapers and in martial arts magazines through the years. I can understand adding the field trip to the Forbidden City, but the work-out at the Great Wall was simply unnecessary.
fyi: Wushu is the correct term for Chinese Martial Arts.
The founder of Kung Fu was an Indian Buddhist monk, Tat Moh. When he traveled to China in 520 AD, he found the monks at a Chinese monastery in Shao Lin (i.e. Little Forest ) very weak and too out of shape to tackle the rigors of a monastic lifestyle. So, he retreated into a cave to meditate for about nine months and came out with what we now know as Chi Kung ( a.k.a. Qi Gong ) to increase the monks' health and vitality. Chi Kung is the foundation of Kung Fu. Based on Tat Moh's Chi ( or Prana, in Hindu ) exercises, the monks developed a fighting style called Lohon, which proved an effective deterrent to bandits which roamed the countryside and oftentimes preyed on Buddhist monks who had taken a vow of non-violence. Later on, when an emperor renounced his materialistic ways and became a Buddhist monk, he developed the Tiger style of Kung Fu, which was better than the Lohon. Then, the Monkey style was developed by the monks to counter the Tiger style. The Monkey style could beat both the Lohon and Tiger styles. But the monks wanted something else that could beat the Monkey style, so they developed the White Crane style, the most technically advanced and the best of all the styles developed at the Shao Lin monastery. Of course, other styles evolved from then on. But the deciding kick in the original KARATE KID ( 1984 ) as well as the final kick in this remake are both trademarked White Crane style kicks used to lure the enemy into attacking an injured White Crane stylist.
There is also this legend about the two Buddhist monks meditating by a river bank. The monks were unaware of each other's presence. As they meditated, a tiger came up to a white crane that was guarding its nest by the riverside. The animals fought--and I really don't know which prevailed upon the other, or whether or not it ended-up in a draw. But, back to the story .... One monk observed the tiger while the other monk observed the white crane. From that point on, one monk developed the Tiger style Kung Fu while the other one developed the White Crane style of Kung Fu.
From Chi Kung ( Qi Gong ) evolved the art of Tai Chi, as well. Don't be fooled into thinking that Tai Chi is not a Martial Art form. Once, I observed a Tai Chi master from far away; and as I watched him do his routine, I could sense his energy from quite a distance ( my years of meditation has made me keenly aware of my own energy flow, but this was the first and only time that I could sense somebody else's energy flow--and from quite a distance, at that! ). I remembered saying to myself, I sure would hate to pick a fight with that old fart because he can easily short-circuit my energy ( Chi, Qi or Prana ) flow, enough to paralyze me or instantly kill me!
I liked Jackie Chan's "passive-aggressive" style of Kung Fu that he used on the bad guys in this movie--it sure made for one entertaining fight scene. One thing that makes Jackie Chan's movies fun to watch is his improvisational inventiveness.
The Great Wall of China has bodies of the prisoners-of-war and/or slaves who were forced to build it buried under each section of the wall.
I had a Chinese co-worker in Oakland, CA, who took Kung Fu lessons for over seven years while he lived in China. He told me that in China, if you want to learn advanced Kung Fu from a monk, it might just have to be in exchange for a "sexual favor"--his words, not mine!
There is one other reason why this remake was not titled KUNG FU KID, instead. Jaden actually knows Karate and had started taking lessons since he was about four years old. So the KARATE KID title plays on that fact in this "fish-out-of-water-type" of story.
word of advice: Be smart, always wear protective gear whenever you're sparring and/or competing.
tidbits: I was in Grand Rapids, Michigan, for about a week. I went sight-seeing with my sister and her family.
Tuesday: At the Oakland International Airport in Oakland, CA, my two cans of Gandules ( Pigeon Peas ) were confiscated by the TSA. I was gonna make some Arroz Con Gandules with it since my niece requested that I make it, but I guessed that I will just have to substitute Garbanzo Beans for it since the security had me in a pinch.
When I arrived in Grand Rapids, it was in the thick of a rainstorm. My niece was right after all: It always rains whenever I show-up in Grand Rapids! As my sister and I walked to her Ford Expedition in the airport's parking garage, we could see the manhole covers rattling and looking like they were about to pop-up into the air because of all that water rushing through the underground pipes.
On the way to my sister's house, she said that she wasn't feeling well and was a little dizzy because of ear wax build-up. She made an appointment for the next day with her doctor to have her ears cleaned-out. I never had mine done by a doctor. I guess that I should make an appointment with my primary care physician for an ear cleaning. Who knows, maybe it will get rid of the ringing in my ears which I've had since I was about 11 years of age.
Wednesday: My sister was feeling much better after her doctor's appointment. Her doctor used Colace in her ears--you know, as in ... stool softener. Ha, ha, ha.
Good news! My sister found some Gandules at the local grocery store.
Bad news! The brand is not the kind that comes with the recipe for Arroz Con Gandules printed on the side of the label. I will just have to figure out the ingredients and proportions through memory.
After 1:00 p.m., we hit the road for a trip down south to Indiana. We had a quick bite to eat for lunch at a Burger King drive-through somewhere. I had the Whiplash Burger meal.
We arrived at the Shipshewana, Indiana, flea market--supposedly the third biggest flea market in the country--about two hours before closing time. My sister bought some stuff. And we came upon a stall operated by a West African man selling African Soap and Shea Butter. My sister bought some of both to try out.
Amish people were everywhere at this flea market. They've modernized themselves, somewhat. I saw a bunch of them riding around in bicycles--the Mormons are gonna have some serious competition pretty soon. And I even saw one Amish girl texting on her cellphone as she headed for the ladies' room.
Speaking of Amish girls, I was checking them out to see if there were any likely marriage candidates among them, since I prefer virtuous, old-fashioned girls. And I know that some of them are at that stage of life ( called, Rumspringa ) wherein they're allowed to date outsiders. But we happened upon a bakery stall operated by an Amish family. And the Amish lady had mottled and jagged teeth, the signs of severe dental fluorosis! That "smile" was enough to put an end to my "prospecting" way--Yuck! ( Severe dental fluorosis is a good argument against the use of fluoridated tap water and toothpaste! )
We, then, headed on to Middlebury, Indiana, to the Das Dutchman Essenhaus Restaurant, where they serve an Amish-style dinner. The place was packed. Whoever owns this place must be making some serious dough! But, whether or not they're Amish, I don't know. I bought a refrigerator magnet as a souvenir.
On the drive back to Grand Rapids, Michigan, I whipped-out my tally-counting clicker so I could do my "Million Mantra". No, it doesn't turn you into a millionaire; you have to recite the mantra a million times. Hence, the name. It's also called, "Zhunti Mantra", by the way. And, in case you are wondering, I hit the 729,000 mark by the end of the day ( it took me 12 days short of two years to get to this mark ).
Thursday: I drove my niece to her school, West Catholic High School in Grand Rapids, were she is taking driver's ed class. On the drive over, we talked about her UFO sighting and, also, about ghosts. She has seen a number of ghosts, but she has quite a ways to go if she wants to beat my record for ghosts/entities sightings: I've seen hundreds--literally!
After I dropped her off, I went driving around. I took a picture of what I call "The Murder House" where a Goth teen killed his mother and sisters, and even sexually-violated the body of his older sister. This place is just a few yards away from an old cemetery which is in-between the front yard of the two houses next to it. How'd you like to live there? I didn't think so. Which is why these houses are always up for rent! ( Years ago, in East Oakland, CA, my family lived in an house just behind a mortuary; and I had quite a number of bad encounters at that place. )
Then I went to Walgreens Drugstore, the former sight of my sister's office. And I went to Plumbs' Grocery Store. As I was leaving, I got a call from my sister to pick up her daughter two hours earlier than planned because the driver's ed car broke down so the class was to be let-off early.
I went to pick-up my niece at 1:00 p.m. We took a different route on the way home so she could show me the farmer's field where she saw the UFO two or three years ago.
For dinner, we went to Golden Corral Buffet for their "grand opening day". It really is a bad idea to go to a restaurant's first day of business because the staff is inexperienced and the equipment is yet untried. And just as I expected, something happened so they had to close shop early. But not before we had our fill.
We were gonna see THE KARATE KID after dinner. But nobody bothered to check the movie listings for the scheduled times. So we drove back home so my niece could look it up on the computer. Why none of us thought about checking the movie's schedule on our cellphones, I simply don't know. My brother-in-law decided to stay home since he's the "early-to-bed-and-early-to-rise" kind of guy. So, it was just my sister, my niece and I who went to see the movie.
Friday: We headed-off to my sister's cottage by the lake at Stony Lake, Michigan, to rendezvous with her husband who arrived there first with their two Jack Russel dogs, Gromit and Lady. Four years ago, the last time that I was here, I carved my name on a freshly cemented section of the curb; but I couldn't find my name anywhere on that part of the curb anymore.
We went to Silver Lake, Michigan, for dinner at the Sands Restaurant. After which, my sister drove us to this dead end street so we could climb up a sand hill. I protested, saying that we just ate dinner and there was no way in the world that they could get me to climb that steep sand hill and take a chance at getting a massive coronary--no way, Jose!
We decided to just head on back to their cottage at Stony Lake. By the way, the cottage next door is owned by the in-laws of George Wendt ( a.k.a. Norm Peterson of TV's CHEERS ). We stopped-off at a convenience store near the lake to buy some stuff for the next day's get-together. And we had some ice cream before going to the cottage.
By the way, Al Capone's former vacation home is just about one-and-a-half miles away from my sister's cottage. It overlooks Lake Michigan.
I decided to cook a pot-full of Arroz Con Gandules before retiring for bed. That way, all I will have to make for the following day is my super-delicious Carrots With Raisins, fresh from scratch.
At the cottage, we watched G.I. JOE, AVATAR, and an old TV series, TALES OF THE GOLDEN MONKEY, both on DVD. My sister's "couch potato" Jack Russel, Gromit, barks at the TV screen whenever he sees a dog shown in it. This old TV show has a one-eyed dog named, Jack. After about an hour of watching this show, Gromit figured out that the TV dog goes by the name of Jack. So, whenever a TV character would call for Jack, Gromit would run up to the TV set to bark at the dog.
Saturday: I started the day with a cup of coffee with milk in it, and some Monkey Bread, since I've never had such a bread before.
Then, my brother-in-law and I went to a little hardware store so he could buy some stuff for use around the cottage. I told him that I had a Carving Trike cambering scooter on order and just waiting for me when I get back home. Next, we stopped-off at the Stony Lake convenience store where he bought some fish bait and where I bought some hot sauce for my Arroz Con Gandules and a quart of Hudsonville "Rainbow" ice cream for the next day's get-together.
Shortly after we both got back to the cottage, my sister, my niece and I went to Whitehall, Michigan, for the Arts and Crafts Fair. On the way over, I told them that Gromit curled up next to my face in bed a couple of days ago then farted! My sister and niece both told me that that is what he usually does, and that Lady burps all the time. What a perfect couple their two dogs make. At the fair, my sister bought an artwork from a paraplegic who uses his teeth, only, to hold a pencil as he draws his pictures. All the while that we were there, we were entertained by songs which I thought were those of John Denver on CDs but, as it turned out, it was actually all a live performance by some singer. The West African man, again, was there selling his African Soap and Shea Butter. He recognized my sister. And my sister bought more of the two from him since she really liked these toiletries.
As my niece and I waited for my sister to fetch the SUV at PinHeads, an out-of-business bowling alley's handicap zone ( a cop on bike patrol told her it was a "no-no" when she inquired of him ), I decided to have some ice cream while my niece waited in line for her lemonade. I took a lactase pill for " just in case".
Then, we went to Doug Born's convenience store and smokehouse to buy some smoked chubs and salmon. But they didn't have either one ready yet. So my sister just ended-up buying some Teriyaki Beef Jerky ( My brother-in-law, later, said that it was more "smoked" than it was "jerky" ).
We went to Lewis Farms next to check out the menagerie of animals they have in their petting zoo. We also drove by Gromit's "ancestral place".
The next stop was Country Dairy in New Era, Michigan, where my sister bought some cheese curds, and where we had some ice cream. I didn't take any lactase pill this time around because I figured I was okay.
Back at the cottage, I made my delicious Carrots With Raisins--my closely-guarded secret ingredients to which, I had to divulge.
Then, my sister's parents-in-law arrived promptly at 4:00 p.m.
And my sister made some Beef Sheskebabs for the first time, using metal skewers. Once my brother-in-law set-up the grill, I cooked the kebabs. When it was time to turn the kebabs over, I foolishly used my fingers--we're talking instant branding iron marks on my right thumb, index and middle fingers here. Luckily for me, I don't burn easy. The heat just left indentation marks on the affected digits. I didn't even bother to dunk my fingers in ice water since I knew that they will never blister at all, thanks to a special prayer which I've been using for years that keeps me from getting burned--this prayer doesn't work on sunburn and roof-of-mouth burn, though ( I don't know why; I'll have to do something about that someday ).
And, next, it was my brother-in-law's turn to use the grill as he slapped-on some rib-eye steaks. My sister fixed the table and heated-up the Arroz Con Gandules in the microwave.
As we sat and ate, the in-laws commented that they liked my Arroz Con Gandules and my Carrots With Raisins. ( In other words, give us the recipes or else ...! ) Then, we all had some ice cream which I bought the day before. I had a lactase pill this time around.
A short time later, I wasn't feeling well and had to excuse myself to use the bathroom. When I got out of there, I found out that my brother-in-law, his father, my niece and the two dogs were all waiting for me because we were going to ride their pontoon boat around the lake as they go fishing. I had told my sister earlier that I didn't want to go fishing since I'd just feel sorry for the fish. So, on this boat trip, I was hoping and praying that they wouldn't catch any "keeper-size" fish. And I was feeling miserable on that boat because of indigestion and abdominal bloating.
Finally, the day was coming to an end. It was about 9:00 p.m. when we got back to the cottage--and it was still daylight outside. And no "keeper-size" fish--Yay! I had some Pepto-Bismol tablets for my upset stomach. I came prepared with a contingency plan for this vacation, mind you. But I still felt miserable all through the night as I wondered why my lactase pills and Pepto-Bismol tablets had no effect on me at all. It didn't help me any that the bedroom I was assigned to had no table lamp at all and was pitch-black when I turned-off the light--I'll be sure to bring a nightlight and a flashlight next time I come here so I don't go fumbling and tumbling in the dark.
Sunday: We had to leave early to make the most of the day. But we still ended-up hitting the road at around 11:00 a.m. And I was still feeling miserable, what with my indigestion and bloated stomach.
After my brother-in-law dropped-off the dogs at their house and after we unloaded the SUV, we went to Crockery Lake, Michigan, to check-out their other cottage by the lake which they bought after they sold their cottage next door to my brother-in-law's youngest brother. My sister said that this cottage will be their retirement home after they have it torn down to build a bigger and better cottage in its place.
Afterwards, we drove to Muskegon, Michigan, to eat dinner at Asian Buffet & Grill. This restaurant, which is in-between another Golden Corral Buffet and a pizza buffet, is probably the biggest buffet restaurant that I've ever been to--and it was packed with hungry people. This place is always busy, according to my sister. We had to wait about 30 minutes before we could be seated. As we ate, I had to mind myself since my pre-existing stomach condition might worsen if I gorged on too much food. I had to excuse myself at one point to use the men's room. But they only had one toilet, and it was occupied--imagine that, such a big place and only one toilet! I had to forcibly curtail my appetite so that I wouldn't have any "accident" on the way home.
My sister gave me some African Soap and Shea Butter to take home later that night.
Monday: I had to wake-up by 8:00 a.m. to shower and pack my things for my return flight in the afternoon. And I was still feeling miserable.
At 10:30 a.m., I drove my niece to her school for driver's ed. On the way back to the house, I made a quick trip to the "Murder House" area to take a picture of the old cemetery in-between the front yard of the two neighboring houses. And I picked my niece up at 1:00 p.m. We talked some more about the entities that she and I, each, saw through the years. And there seems to be a constant: A short and skinny "shadow" man entity is haunting us both. I'd like to get to the bottom of this someday, sooner or later. Anyway, when we got back to the house, my niece drew sketches of four of the entities which she had seen. I kept the drawings.
I made her a telekinetic aid to help her increase her psychic abilities. I first learned about this aid when I was her age: fifteen. So I figured that I'd pass it on to her. If she practices on it, the next time that I see her, I will show her how to use her new-found skill to manipulate the wind.
My sister came home from work at around 2:00 p.m. so she could drop me off at the airport. She told me that she wanted to take me out to lunch, first, at a Chinese buffet. I told her, No. I wanted to eat light since my stomach, still, wasn't feeling well. So, we just ate at a Quizno's Restaurant ( the first time for me ) at the airport after I checked-in my luggage and got my boarding tickets. I only ate half of my sandwich. And I had to excuse myself to use the men's room because I didn't want to have to go use the toilet on the plane on the flight to Denver, Colorado.
Soon, it was time for me to leave as we hugged and said our "Goodbyes" to each other.
Less than two hours into the flight, we experienced severe turbulence. The plane not only bounced up and down, but it also twisted left and right! I really thought the plane was going to crash, so much so that instead of doing my Million Mantra, I switched to doing the Mantra For Safety While Traveling. Boy, I guess they don't call it, "The Rockies", for nothing!
I ate the other half of my sandwich in Denver, Colorado, as I waited for my connecting flight to Oakland, California. And I went to a souvenir shop to buy some refrigerator magnets. I also called my sister to tell her about the bouncy flight.
The Oakland-bound plane was six seats across, two seats wider than the earlier plane. So the flight to Oakland was relatively smoother. Which was good since I still had an upset stomach.
I noticed that on all my flights, all the female flight attendants were plain-looking and/or old and fat! Whatever happened to the stewardesses? I hope they bring back the stewardesses since they are hot, young and sexy compared to female flight attendants.
And I was just thinking that the airport shuttle bus drivers must make lots of money on tips alone! I'd better inquire into this.
At the Expresso Airport Parking Garage, I decided to have some decaf and a muffin since my stomach was feeling slightly better and because they were free! Heck, I paid for them. I also got a free San Francisco Chronicle so I could check-out the movie listings to see if I had enough time to catch a movie before going home. But I didn't have any time for a movie at all.
I swung by the Wal-Mart's in San Leandro, California, to buy some safety gear ( elbow pads, knee pads and gloves ) for my Carving Trike scooter. I also bought a bag of dog food and two 2-litre bottles of soda.
Next, I went to Lucky's Supermarket in the Fruitvale district of East Oakland, California, to buy some french bread and bananas.
And I swung by Hector's place in East Oakland to drop-off the french bread, dog food and sodas. One of his sons had fixed dinner for me: Sweet & Sour Pork, rice, and a custard pudding for dessert. I gave Hector a refrigerator magnet souvenir. And I recounted for them the bouncy flight. And his son, the one who fixed me dinner, said that he had a similar experience on a flight to Los Angeles, California; but he sang, "La Bamba," through the turbulence. And both father and son teased me about being a "scaredy cat" when I'm supposed to be a yogi--heck, I'm just a 1st-stage yogi so I'm not that detached, yet, from my own ego. Anyway, I told them that I had best be on the road because I had to get home before midnight, otherwise I'd turn into a Puerto Rican like them! Ha, ha, ha.
Only when I finally got home did I realize why I was miserable with an upset stomach and felt bloated for three days: For the better part of my vacation, I was on antibiotic medication! I will know better next time ....
