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| Opps! they got the month wrong on this one. |
where: moobee3k.com
when: Thursday, May 17th, 2012
show: Around 10:00 p.m.
costs: Free stream on bufferfree3k
auditorium: My living room
seat: My swivel chair
synopsis/overview: In this promotional tie-in and lead-in to the movie, BATTLESHIP, unknown to the sane and peace-loving World Community, some evil Somali pirate leaders of its "Central Committee" hire the services of a mad Middle Eastern scientist ( Dr. So'dam Insane, PhD ), with the blessings of his country's leaders, Prime Minister Mad-Mood 'Am-anutjob and President Itol'ya Come'inme, to create a deterrent to UN-backed warships patrolling the Arabian Sea: A bloat of super-gigantic mile-and-a-half-long hippopotami with a voracious appetite! And the world's Armed Forces are powerless against these sea monsters because their super-tough hide is impervious to conventional war weaponry--and because Green Peace Activists hired some self-serving hot-shot International Lawyers to declare the giants as a new, rare and highly endangered species. The world can only watch as the leviathans stand unopposed to do serious damage to the World Economy and to the Marine Ecology. But just as the situation becomes hopeless, help arrives in the most unexpected and unconventional of ways: The US Marines' small army of highly-trained monkeys.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) Greedy Chinese, Taiwanese and Korean lobster fleets; 2.) Frustrated Somali lobster divers; 3.) Piracy out of need; 4.) The inspiration for a mad idea; 5.) The mad scientist for the job; 6.) Blue Whale/Hippopotamus gene-splicing and growth hormones; 7.) Accidental radioactive exposure; 8.) "This turned out better than we had hoped"; 9.) "Fifteen very hungry mouths to feed"; 10.) "It's time to release them;" 11.) "What's that stinky smell"; 12.) "That's one big piece of shit"; 13.) The first victim, a Korean lobster fleet; 14.) Unconfirmed reports; 15.) More victims; 16.) "Is that Moby Dick"; 17.) "It sank our battleship"; 18.) "You're gonna need a bigger boat"; 19.) Environmentalists against the use of Thermo-Nuclear Warheads; 20.) Protected Species Law; 21.) Depleted whale, shark and fish numbers; 22.) Penitent pirates; 23.) Secret US Marines' animal behavior research; 24.) The combination weapon: AIDS, Ebola Virus and Necrotizing Fasciitis; 25.) The delivery system: Genetically-Modified Time-Released Microbial Rectal Probe Pellets [ GMTRMRPP ]; 26.) Monkeys in SCUBA gear; 27.) Anal penetration; 28.) "It ain't all a matter of size"; 29.) "Weapons of Ass Destruction"; 30.) Lighted farts; 31.) "That was the Fart heard around the World"; 32.) Victory; 33.) "What the Green Peace Activists don't know won't kill them"; 34.) The mad scientist found hiding in the sewer; 35.) Hippo Poop: The new alternate source of Bio-Fuel; 36.) "Is that safe to eat"; 37.) Chinese "All-You-Can-Eat-Hippo-Meat" Buffets; 38.) Hippo Steaks and Burgers cooked on Hippo Dung Briquettes; 39.) "That's all going to your hips, you know"; 40.) "Hey, honey, take a look! I've grown a couple of inches ...."; and 41.) "So have I."
favorite scenes: I liked how the Korean deck hand mistook the big piece of turd for an iceberg in the fog.
I liked how the SCUBA-geared Monkeys slipped into the Giant Hippos' butts undetected without even using some kind of desensitizing lubricant. Ha, ha, ha.
I liked the scene wherein the Monkeys used cigarette lighters to make a quick exit out of the Giant Hippos' butts. Ha, ha, ha, once again.
I liked the "I've Grown A Couple Of Inches" scene.
And I liked the "So Have I" scene. LOL!
audience reaction: N/A. I was by my lonesome self.
recommendation: I liked it a lot! It's a laugh-out loud, ridiculously funny Sci-Fi/Action/Comedy movie. Go see it if you can find it on-line.
spoiler alert! It's impossible to grow a hippopotamus to such a ridiculously gigantic proportion and at such a rapid rate of growth! Shouldn't those monkeys have been burned to death?
fyi: These two childrens' games served as inspiration for this movie:
I wonder if these are now collector's items. I should have bought them back when I had the chance.
word of advice: Don't start something that you can't finish.
An unconventional war calls for the use of unconventional weapons.
Take good care of your games and toys. Otherwise, they just might get even with you--and the rest of us--in a Big Way!
tidbits: I don't know why, but this movie gave me a craving for ...
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| A Banana Split |
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| A Banana Milkshake |
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| A couple of bananas |
But I usually wait until a banana is at stage 7 of its ripening process before I eat it because that is when a banana is at its most nutritious and delicious stage.
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| In this "police line-up", number 7 is the one guilty of being nutritious and delicious. |
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