BATTLESHIP, PG-13 ( 2 hr & 11 min )

I watched this the first time just to get a general feel for it.

where:  movie2k.to at Hector's house in Oakland, CA
when:  Thursday, April 25th, 2012
show:  5:00 p.m.
costs:  Free stream on stream2k
auditorium:  Hector's living room
seat:  A wooden chair

2nd time

I watched this the second time just to get the note-taking started.

where:  movie2k.to
when:  Tuesday, May 15th, 2012
show:  Very, very early in the morning
costs:  Free stream on stream2k
auditorium:  My living room
seat:  My swivel chair

3rd time


where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Friday, May 18th, 2012
show:  12:01 a.m.
costs:  $10.50 Ticket + $5.75 small Popcorn + $4.50 20.0 oz VitaminWater XXX = $20.75
auditorium:  7
seat:  7th row, 7th column


synopsis/overview:  You Sunk My Battleship


In a battle reminiscent of The Attack On Pearl Harbor, the Americans and the Japanese this time join forces with a disabled veteran and some old war veterans in a fight with an Extra-Terrestrial Fleet which is desperately trying to '"Phone Home."


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Planet G; 2.) Chicken burrito; 3.) Admiral's daughter; 4.) New recruit; 5.) RimPac 2012; 6.) RimPac Cup Finals; 7.) Jerry Lewis; 8.) "Do you have anything to say"; 9.) Naval war game; 10.) "Donald Trump/Mike Tyson"; 11.) "Who do I call to teach you humility"; 12.) "Half a man ain't enough to be a soldier"; 13.) "Stop messing things up"; 14.) Radar; 15.) NASA; 16.) "The Air Force is on-line"; 17.) "Legitimate Extra-Terrestrial contact"; 18.) "Not of this Earth"; 19.) Visual; 20.) "Bad idea"; 21.) Force field; 22.) Sonic blast; 23.) "Dead in the water"; 24.) Warning shot; 25.) Response; 26.) "You're Senior Officer"; 27.) Marine Air Base; 28.) Softball field; 29.) Freeway; 30.) "We can't get in, they can't get out"; 31.) Survivors; 32.) "The island is under attack"; 33.) "If you can't, who can"; 34.) Alien; 35.) Bad feeling; 36.) Level four; 37.) "Mahalo, mother---"; 38.) Cyborg; 39.) Communications station; 40.) Helmet; 41.) Global unrest; 42.) LandSat 7; 43.) "I don't need the radar, just the radio frequencies"; 44.) Buoys; 45.) "When we fire, they'll know where we are"; 46.) "Right now, you're gonna acquire that courage ..."; 47.) Call for help; 48.) "Let's take this somewhere they don't want to go"; 49.) Snipers; 50.) Alien counter-attack; 51.) "Let's see if we can buy the world another day"; 52.) Old veterans to the rescue; 53.) "Just not today"; 54.) "But that's not what it means, not even close"; 55.) "Cyborg" Man vs. Alien; 56.) Direct hit; 57.) Fighter jets; 58.) Awards; 59.) "Your wish came true"; 60.) "Sir, I saved the world"; 61.) Chicken burrito; and 62.) Bonus Scene after the Ending Credits.

favorite scene:  I liked the "But That's Not What It Means, Not Even Close" scene.

audience reaction:  N/A. I watched this all by myself. Hector and his wife were watching a Tele Novela in their bedroom. His son, Isma, was in the living room with me; but he was busy fighting in a boxing match against somebody in England on his X-Box 360. And his other son, Tito, was outside working on his girlfriend's car.

2nd audience reaction:  N/A

3nd audience reaction:  The audience liked it. But it didn't get a "Hands Clapper" ending.


recommendation:  It's okay. If it didn't remind me too much of the board game, I'd probably enjoy it more.

spoiler alert!  Did he have to remove three ceiling panels just to make his way down into the store? RimPac sounds like hemorrhoidal suppositories, don't you think so? It took the navy ships a while to get to the alien ships. But, when they got there, the big alien ship was still dripping lots and lots of water. If that Sonic Blast which the alien ship generated was loud enough and strong enough to shatter glass, then it was loud enough and strong enough to shatter eardrums! ( I'm talking, of course, about the eardrums of those three in the patrol boat. ) The aliens have a strange way of fighting: They operate primarily in a Counter-Attack Mode--no wonder they lost the battle. Why didn't they first restrain the captured alien? I've heard of chin "stubble", but this is ridiculous! What did the aliens do to get this kind of chin "stubble", perform oral sex on porcupines ...? These aliens can breathe our air and function normally in our planet's atmospheric pressure--yeah, right .... Those sailors got hit hard by armor-clad fists/arms and they lived through it--and not one suffered broken bones! That sailor who put on the alien helmet should have been put under medical quarantine! I didn't know that floating war museums carry live ammunition and are practically battle-ready at a moment's notice. If I were destroying an alien enemy's ship, I wouldn't say, Boom, in a sexy voice; I'd say out loud, Die! you motherf-ckers. Die! f-ckin' aliens. Why didn't the navy ships outside of the force-fielded area try to shoot through it? An Old Fart with Parkinson's Disease plus a Machine Gun is not a deadly combination. The alien ships have car-like blue headlights on--'must be the newer models .... The aliens seem to operate on a set "rules of engagement" that calls for the primary use of weapons of structural destruction, not biological destruction, i.e. their weapons seem designed to destroy structures and not destroy living organisms--well, not directly anyway--"collateral damage" takes care of that! And speaking of weapons, the aliens' primary weapons look like "armor-penetrating/busting" Pegboard Pegs and Burrowing Yo-Yos. Add to this a crucial scene that makes the whole movie seem funnily like a "fancified" sci-fi version of a famous board game and you end-up with a promotional advertisement for an upcoming kid's game which ( I suspect ) will be available soon at Wal-Mart, Toys-'R'-Us and at other fine retail stores! Why could the ship's machine guns hit the "Pegboard Pegs" but not the bigger "Burrowing Yo-Yos"? At the communications station, why didn't the other aliens help-out their fellow alien who was fighting the "cyborg" guy? Is it just me or do these aliens all look the same? And do their females have chin "stubble", too? The aliens didn't have life preservers and/or life boats and/or escape pods ...? This movie starts-off with a hefty piece of Chicken Burrito and ends on a Chicken Burrito note--'too much of an "in-and-out" phallic symbolism, if you ask me!  Since they went down that route anyway, they should just have used a Beef Burrito, instead. Ha, ha, ha. ( Q: "Where's the beef?" A: "In Wendy's Buns!" LOL. )

Yummy Chicken Burrito!

"Where's the beef?"

fyi:  The Gliese Star System is 20 Light Years away from our Solar System. And it has a planet about 1.5 times bigger than our own planet in its "Habitable Zone", the planet referred to in this movie as "Planet G". So, of course, there is a good probability that this particular planet is inhabited by an advanced life-form. But ... if we were to broadcast radio wave signals ( which travels at the Speed of Light ) to this planet and its advanced life-forms decided to come to Earth to investigate its source, it would take at least 40 years from the time the signals were sent to the time that the aliens were to arrive here on Earth--if they have a spacecraft that can travel at the Speed of Light! And they were to respond to our signal right away; and if they didn't have to "refuel" along the way. But, of course, the faster a spaceship travels, the harder it is for the ship to dodge interstellar rocks and planetary objects.

SETI ( Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence ) has not yet detected any evidence for Advanced Life-forms out there in the Universe, despite the "Wow!" Signal ( August 15th, 1977 ) anomaly.

Back when we were still living in Oakland, CA, in the Fruitvale District, I bought a bunch of big burritos one day from a nearby Mexican Restaurant for dinner. We had just recently "adopted" a nameless white-and-gray kitten which played with and then followed my orange Manx kitten into the house. As we were having dinner, my second sister accidentally dropped a piece of burrito on the kitchen floor. The nameless kitten pounced on it and ate it right away. So, my sister gave it the name, Burrito. And Burrito grew up looking just like its namesake: A big, fat burrito!

The movie's inspiration.

I never played this board ( bored? ) game because it looked stupid to me!

famous quotes:  "Surrender? I have not yet begun to fight!" John Paul Jones, the very 1st gold medal recipient, American Naval War Hero ( 1747-1792 )

From: Wikipedia

"Had ( John Paul ) Jones lived to this day, France might have had an Admiral." Napoleon Bonaparte ( 1769-1821 )

From: Napoleon Bonaparte--Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia. But shouldn't this bike be white in color, instead?

word of advice:  Let the Sun shine in.

tidbits:  I had planned on taking Hector, his wife and one of his sons to the movies with me. But Hector's wife was sick. And his son, Tito, left to buy some parts for his girlfriend's car. And Hector's other son, Isma, was just a homebody as a homebody could ever get!

As Hector and I were leaving the theatre's parking lot after we watched THE THREE STOOGES movie, a guy in a black truck stopped beside me and asked me if I'd like for him to remove the oxidation on my car's headlight lenses. I told him, No, because I plan on doing a more thorough job of it the next time that I'll get around to doing it, myself. But he was insistent, telling me that lens cleaning kits don't do a good job of it. I told him that I really needed to get on the freeway before the afternoon rush traffic started. But I asked him for his website name, anyway, so that I could look it up later. ( I found out later that the guy gave me the wrong website, a place somewhere in Colorado! )

Maybe, I would be better off just going to the local Hyundai dealership and ordering a new pair of headlight lenses, instead.

A UPS truck was leaving Hector's place when we got back home. Hector said that the UPS truck driver probably dropped-off a package for Isma. Isma had switched from his AT&T ISP to X-Finity and was expecting his Internet cable box today.

When Hector and I stepped inside, Isma was already at work connecting his new Internet cable box to his dad's computer. And I got to be the first one to watch a movie on it. Yes! Woo-Hoo ....

2nd tidbits:  Today, Tuesday, my Hyundai Accent stalled as I exited the freeway on my way to work. And it has Power Brakes, so you know what that means. I parked it against the curb on the downhill grade because the brakes didn't work properly. I turned it off, then I turned it on. It started, then it killed itself, again! I waited for about two minutes before I started it up again. It stayed on and I drove it to work.

I called Dave, the Service Adviser at Wheel Works, and told him that I'll be dropping-off my car tomorrow. And I will need to rent a car again. I can't believe it, two weeks in a row! I never had problems with my Geo Metro. My Metro ran practically trouble-free! Oh, how I miss my Metro.

3rd tidbits:  A couple was in the fourth row who watched the Bonus Scene after the Ending Credits with me.

There was also a female security guard in the auditorium hallway. I told the security guard that the Bonus Scene wasn't shown on the Internet. And I added that the movie is being shown on the internet for almost a month now. She asked me why I came to see it if I already saw it on my computer. I told her that I watched it on my computer just to get a "feel" for it and to take notes on it because I blog about movies. Besides, I just like that Big Screen experience. Especially if I don't have to write notes in the dark and just sit back relaxed as I "popcorn" the movie.

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A Rear Admiral and a Petty Officer were in the shower one day. Standing behind the young man, the Rear Admiral intentionally dropped his bar soap in front of the Petty Officer.

"Pick-up my soap!" ordered the Rear Admiral.

"Hell, no, Sir!" said the Petty Officer, knowing the Rear Admiral's sexual preference.

"What, are you being insubordinate?" asked the disbelieving Rear Admiral. " If I don't have your respect, I'm not worthy of my rank. And I shouldn't be allowed to drive a ship!"

"Begging your pardon, Sir, but this is a ship. You navigate it, not drive it, Sir," said the smart-ass Petty Officer.

"Oh, really," answered the Rear Admiral. "So, why does it have wheels, then?"

"It doesn't have wheels, Sir," the Petty Officer said angrily. "It has propellers!"

"Are you really sure about that?" asked the Rear Admiral. "Why don't you go stick your head out through that porthole and see for yourself."

"I don't believe this," grumbled the Petty Officer angrily as he went to the porthole, opened it and stuck his head out. "Hah! I was right: It doesn't have wheeeeeeeeeeeeeels ...."


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