1st timewhere: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 in Fairfield, CA
when: Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
show: 12:01 am
auditorium: 13
seat: 6th row, 14th column
2nd time
where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Thursday, June 25th, 2009
show: 10:40 pm
auditorium: 7
seat: 1st row, 8ht column ( for that "El Cheapo" I-Max feeling--actually, it was crowded in there with the better seats all taken-up )
3rd time
where: AMC BAY STREE 16 in Emeryville, CA
when: Thursday, July 2nd, 2009
show: 12:01 am I-Max
auditorium: 8
seat: 3rd row, 8ht column
They've fallen, but they can get up!
Around 17,000 BC, Decepticon explorers (known then as "The Seekers") from Cybertron came to our Solar System for the purpose of locating stars that do not support life in order that they may destroy such stars to keep the Energen Cube functioning at peak efficiency so that both Decepticons and Autobots do not deteriorate and die. Upon discovering that the Earth only had primitive, hence "dispensable," life forms, one of these Decepticon explorers turned rogue and mustered an army to expediently annihilate the helpless life forms on Earth. After a great battle which caused the lives of several Prime Guardians (of which Optimus is the last descendant), the defeated evil Decepticon, given the moniker of " The Fallen," was imprisoned for all of Eternity.
I know that this has a Judeo-Christian bend, but it is how the animosity between the two groups of Cybertronians is explained. And so the legend of shared history with Humanity begins, for they have been around with us for all these millennia, albeit incognito.
In this sequel, the Decepticons resurrect Megatron as they hunt for Sam Twitwimpy--no! Weakwillie--opps! my bad ... Witwicky--yeah! ( Shia LaBeouf) who holds the key to finding the concealed solar destroyer. The Autobots are outnumbered and outgunned this time around! Will the Decepticons succeed in destroying all the Autobots so that nothing will stand in their way of destroying the Sun? The answer lies in Sam.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) The shoot-out at the Witwicky house; 2.) Sam's mom high on pot; 3.) Jock-strap scene; 4.) Stun gun at the museum; 5.) Agent Simmons (John Turturro) on the Great Pyramid, looking up at the giant Decepticon; and, of course, for you horndogs out there, there's a scene with Mikaela (Megan Fox) airbrushing a motorcycle (wearing a so-short shorts that would make even Daisy Duke blush!) and a scene with Alice (Isabel Lucas--related to the famous George, perhaps?) making-out with Sam before All-Hell breaks loose!
recommendation: The audience really loved this one; a "hands-clapper" ending.
spoiler alert! The soldiers, although they know what they're dealing with, still don't stockpile on heavy armor-piercing rounds and tank busters. The Cybertronians still can't aim and shoot better than their human counterparts. Agent Simmons says, "Infintinsimal," when what he means to say is: Infinitesimal. Why do the Cybertronians need to blink for? Why did the Prime Guardians not hide the solar destroyer somewhere else like, say perhaps, Pluto? And why did not the airbags deploy when Mikaela ran into the light post? (I know! Because it's a Saturn piece of c--p car that no self-respecting Autobot would want to transform into--they, the quintessential gentlemen, prefer "precious metals," not paper or PLASTIC.) Why is it that they always get a black man (Tony Todd, this time) to do the voice of the "Evil One?" And what is with the constantly bickering twin Autobots who are ghetto-trash talkin' pimped-out and blinged-out illiterates (think STAR WARS' Jar Jar Binks as a hint for your answer)? Hey, Hollywood, it's high time for you to rework your racial stereotypes. Ooo! do me. I'm an Asian man and I don't know the meaning of the word, "Fun." Have me do the voice of the evil bad guy next time for in actuality I sound funnier than the Doberman in the movie, UP, and, hence, cannot be taken seriously at my word (there goes my Mindanawen Pride--I will be disowned by my own people, I just know it).
fyi: Although this sequel is Bigger and Louder, it is not necessarily Better for me since the novelty of the first one didn't rub-off on this second installment.
word of advice: It's no wonder why General Motors filed for bankruptcy protection. They were sued because the GM-bots are a natural magnet for the destructive Decepticons, with each encounter leaving a wide swath of ruin and the destruction of the world's major tourist spots in their wake! They should have the other car makers share in the liability costs in the third installment. Thankfully, the Cybertronians hadn't trashed Greece yet since Nia Vardalos needed the scenery for the making of MY LIFE IN RUINS--but, then again, when you think about it ... hmmm--oh, never mind.
tidbits: At 11:58 pm, someone in the back of the auditorium yelled, "Hey, everyone. It's my birthday!" Then most everyone sang, "Happy Birthday." But I didn't sing along because it would have been conceited of me to sing it since it also happened to be my birthday. Then some blonde wearing an Optimus Prime mask got up and did a very restrained (hence, lame) "booty dance." O, for the love of Optimus Prime and the rest of the Autobots, woman! how could you? I was just hoping more for a Drew Barrymore, (it rhymes) "iykwim!" I should have, at least, stood up and exclaimed, Hey, it's my birthday, too! Where are my birthday kisses? Darn it! I guess I'll be seeing these guys again for the midnight showing of the latest (and last?) in the HARRY POTTER franchise since they obviously are fans, too, of the series, judging from their reaction to the preview.
After the movie, as I'm walking to my car, about ten minutes to 3:00 a.m., I see a guy walking up to the cineplex wearing a pair of dark glasses! Dude, it's, like, still DARK out, either take those damn glasses off or walk with a white cane. And if you do walk with a white cane, stay home, 'cause you can't see since you're blind. Duhh ....
2nd tidbits: In my second time watching this movie at the Century 14 Vallejo, the idiot seated two seats to my left at one point talked on his damn cellphone! At least, the movie's sound was loud enough to almost cancel out this rudeness. As I've said in an earlier post, I try to avoid coming here in the first two weeks of a block-buster's run because the Vallejo natives can get noisy, rude AND inconsiderate!
3rd tidbits: I saw it for the third time because I really wanted to see it in I-Max on June 25th at the Fairfield cineplex, but the 10:30 pm (?) show was sold-out. So I went to the Vallejo cineplex, instead. To make-up for it, I saw it once more in REAL I-Max at the AMC in Emeryville.
