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| I took this photograph two nights after seeing this movie. I shot it through my Hyundai Accent's windshield where there was a lot of light distortion. And the photo of this theatre is not going to be any sharper than this for about a year because I'm officially boycotting this damn place for that length of a time due to my bad experience with a disrespectful and inconsiderate low-life Vallejo Crowd bitch! |
where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Monday, July 11th, 2011
show: 10:15 p.m.
costs: $9.75 Ticket + $5.89 Quarter-Pounder w/ Cheese meal ( w/ a small Minute Made Light Lemonade/Strawberry Passion drink mix ) @ MacDonald's Restaurant on E. 2nd Street in Benicia, CA, before the movie = $15.64
auditorium: 14
seat: 5th row, 7th column--originally; 6th column--finally ( see tidbits below for the reason )
synopsis/overview: Nick ( Jason Bateman ), Kurt ( Jason Sudeikis ) and Dale ( Charlie Day ) are friends who are harried/harassed at work. But they cannot quit their jobs, as much as they would love to. Then, while out drinking one night, they become desperate for a "quick fix" to their individual problems so they go and hire the services of an ex-con, Mother-f--ker Jones ( Jaime Foxx ), so that they can put a "hit" on their bosses. But no matter how elaborate and fool-proof their plans are, they soon hit a snag: They are all inexperienced amateurs!
noteworthy scenes: 1.) Key to success; 2.) "Two minutes late"; 3.) "I wanna be a husband"; 4.) Dental assistant; 5.) "I'm a Green Belt"; 6.) "Trust me"; 7.) 8:15 a.m.; 8.) Squirter; 9.) Heart attack; 10.) Sex offender; 11.) Company meeting; 12.) Fantasy; 13.) Motivation; 14.) "I own you"; 15.) "Your father's funeral"; 16.) "Trim the fat"; 17.) Inappropriately-dressed dentist; 18.) "You're paying for dinner"; 19.) Surprise visit; 20.) "Give me that dong"; 21.) Pictures; 22.) "I'm in"; 23.) Wet Work Professional"; 24.) Gregory; 25.) Bar in a bad part of town; 26.) "Disney-ass Jones"; 27.) How You Like Me Now"; 28.) Murder consultant; 29.) Barf; 30.) Garage; 31.) "Douche bag museum"; 32.) Cocaine; 33.) Toothbrush; 34.) Coked-up intruders; 35.) Cat; 36.) Anaphylactic shock; 37.) Time-out; 38.) Shopping; 39.) "I learned I've gotta change dentists"; 40.) Cellphone; 41.) Two shots; 42.) Traffic camera photo; 43.) "Penis shaped foods"; 44.) Police department; 45.) "I didn't know I had DNA in my butt"; 46.) Video piracy; 47.) Surprise party; 48.) Confession; 49.) "Poop brush"; 50.) Details; 51.) Chase; 52.) "Standard Nav-Guide procedure"; 53.) Recorded conversation; 54.) Car trunk; 55.) "Your word against mine"; 56.) Blackmail; and 57.) Outtakes during the Ending Credits.
favorite scenes: I liked the Inappropriately Dressed Dentist scene--Yeah!
And I liked the Coked-Up Intruders scene.
audience reaction: The audience liked this movie although no one gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.
recommendation: I liked it enough to give it a "Go See" recommendation.
spoiler alert! Sex offender? Heck, all he did was act Drunk and Disorderly! What kind of lame-ass lawyer did he get to end-up with such a charge on his record, a dim-witted Public Defender? What, is Dale nuts? I would love to trade places with Dental Assistant Dale and give new meaning to the dental commands "Open Wide" and "Turn your head and spit." And, to think, I worked as a Dental Lab Technician instead of as a Dental Assistant! I should have known better. Dale doesn't recognize the voice of his own fiancee? Cats don't act like that around strangers! A person with a peanut allergy will only get a localized rash where the peanut touches the person's skin. An anaphylactic shock will happen only if the peanut gets into the person's system through the mouth, nose or eyes, or somehow through any other opening--Ahem!--or skin break. In other words, the Severe Reaction To Peanut Butter scene is just plain ol' B.S.! 'Funny but, still, B.S. In the Time-Out scene, Dale kicked the right rear door of the Prius 3 times; but, as they drove off, not a single dent could be seen on the door! The dents were only evident later on in the Chase scene. Yeah, sure, keep somebody in the trunk--that's Kidnapping and Endangerment!
fyi: Soon after my employers found out that I am a blogger, I was made to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement. Which is why I don't specifically mention my place of employment; and which is why I cannot relate anything to you of a "Horrible Bosses" nature. I cannot even take pictures of the inside and of the outside of the building where I work! 'Sorry to say but my picture-snapping finger and my typing fingers are legally-bound to the aforementioned agreement. But maybe someday when I win the lottery Big-Time I'll sit down and write a Cine-Man's Retail Memoir.
I would always be two minutes late for work, myself. I would leave my condo to go to work at a certain time and would end-up always being two minutes late. But I call that being punctual since I got to work at the exact time that they knew I'd get there. Right ...?
If you go to Berkeley, CA, on the last Sunday of September--and the weather permitting--just hang out near the corner of University Avenue and Shattuck just before noontime and you just might get lucky and see a bunch of totally naked people parading on the street. And a whole lot of people would be in attendance--kids included--to watch the public spectacle! And cops would be present everywhere; but nobody would get arrested as a Sex Offender for being butt-naked! Don't forget to bring your camera with you! Who knows, come September, I just might see you there in the flesh!
I once read an article about a vacationing couple whose hotel room was burglarized. The burglars stole their jewelry and money but left their expensive camera untouched. When they had the pictures developed, they found out why the burglars didn't steal the camera: The burglars took photos of their backsides, each with a toothbrush--the couple's--inserted up the anus!
I must confess, there had been times when a "bedeviled" me had switched serving spoons at the buffet table because I was curious to know if any of the other dining patrons had some kind of food allergy. Well, they shouldn't be eating-out at an all-you-can-eat buffet if they suffered from food allergies was how I rationalized it. Hey, just because I'm a Kriyaban Yogi ( albeit, 1st Stage ) doesn't mean to say that I was born a Saint. Nope, far from it. Heh, heh, heh ....
Back when I "vacationed" in the Philippines for 8 months, I had nothing better to do to pass the time away. So, I took-up jogging. I jogged for 12 miles a day, 6 days a week. I soon learned what they meant by "Nipple Burn" and "Jogger's Nipples". But I didn't use band-aid because I've got a hairy chest--hairier than Esai Morales' chest, in fact ( Go figure ... ). I also had burns between my muscular thighs and in-between my toes. I remedied the situation by rubbing baby oil on my nipples--I'm not turning-on any of you, am I?--and in-between my thighs and in-between my toes.
word of advice: If you want something done right, hire a professional.
Consider, first, the immediate and long-term consequences of your planned action.
tidbits: Here is a picture that I took, the day after, of the Macdonald's Restaurant that I dined at before going to see this movie. I took it from my car--notice the distortion--as I drove by on my way to work. Yup, I guess you could call this a drive-by shooting:
My movie-watching experience was ruined by some bitch, and her girlfriend, who decided to sit in front of me so she could text somebody in the dark! I stepped out of the auditorium to let management know. And the manager, some snot-nosed kid, told me that he'll have security take care of the problem. But no security personnel ever came to handle the situation.
As I was leaving the theatre, said "manager" was at the concessions area with another employee. I told him angrily that the bitch still texted throughout the movie. He apologized and offered me a Free Pass for next time. I just stormed out of there, startling some kids who were hanging-out outside the theatre.
When I got to my car, guess who walked by as I was warming-up the engine? Yup! the bitch and her friend walked across the front of my car, causing me to feel an almost overwhelming enormous kind of stress, the "I-should-floor-the-gas-pedal-and-run-the-bitch-down-and-damn-my-Spiritual-Cultivation-to-Hell-but-I-shouldn't-because-there-are-people-all-around" kind of stress! Aargh .... That was one lucky "proud-to-be-a-member-of-the-Vallejo-Crowd" BITCH!!!
That's it! I'm officially boycotting this establishment for one whole year. And I shall file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau about this establishment's lax policy regarding the handling of rude, inconsiderate and disrespectful Vallejo Crowd people because this is just one of many instances that my movie-watching experience was ruined by this bunch of low-lifes!!!!
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