where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 in Fairfield, CA
when: Sunday, August 2nd, 2009
show: 8:00 pm
costs: $10.50 Ticket + $4.50 small Diet/Zero Coke = $15.00
auditorium: 13
seat: 4th row, 8ht column
synopsis: A serial killer bumps into a nocturnal stealer.
Arkin ( Josh Stewart ), an ex-prisoner working as a handyman for a wealthy family has a girlfriend who owes a loan shark "big time," a debt that has to be paid off by midnight or something bad will happen to his girlfriend and their daughter. Having "cased the joint" for about five months, he tells his partner-in-crime boss in desperation that he needs to steal from his employer soon as night falls or he walks. His boss reluctantly consents. What Arkin doesn't know is that a serial killer is already at the house and is at work performing his trademark modus operandi. After realizing what is taking place, Arkin has a change of heart and decides to help the family escape, a task made extremely hard with assorted traps and tripwires scattered all over the house.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) The Botox scene; 2.) Arkin's boss reminding him of their "routine;" 3.) The dog; 4.) The victimized employer; 5.) The telephone and window; 6.) Finding the couple; 7.) The trunk; 8.) Acid trap room; 9.) Hysterical wife; 10.) Jill ( Madeline Zima ) and her boyfriend; 11.) The Bear Trap room; 12.) The scissors; 13.)The TV and aquarium; 14.) Breaking down the door; 15.) Chisel and cockroaches; 16.) The flaming bucket; 17.) The ambulance; 18.) The "Special Thanks" dedication in the ending credits; and 19.) The bonus scene after the ending credits.
audience reaction: It was just a typical reaction expected of such an audience watching a movie of this kind, except for two girls who were more excited than the rest of us. Hmmph! newbies ....
recommendation: This sloppy movie should have been one of those straight-to-video kinds. Save your money and wait for this to come out as a rental.
spoiler alert! I interviewed a cosmetic surgeon today, Monday, at 11:15 am about the Botox scene in the movie; he said that this procedure is not a "do-it-yourself-at-home" (DIYAH) kind. Arkin, who has worked for the family for five months, should have known that something was amiss because of the strange dog kept in the yard. If I were to burgle someone's house, I'd make sure to carry a gun for protection and a cell phone--everybody these days carries a cell phone, even school kids--some of them even carry a gun, too, sad to say! Are we to believe that the serial killer was able to set-up shop with all his assorted traps and tripwires in about a six-hour time and still had time left over to torture his victims? Come on, it probably took the Carpentry Department, the Props Department and the SFX Department days to set everything in order. The serial killer could easily navigate around his complex and elaborate traps and tripwires in the dark BUT ... every time he walked up and down the stairs he would always inexplicably step on that one creaky step! Duh! While struggling for her life, Jill somehow managed to pull out her cell phone, turn it on and then dial 9-1-1. B. S.! Why didn't the goldfish get electrocuted? When Arkin got the better of The Collector, why didn't he finish him off? Multiple stab wounds cause quite a loss of blood, enough to weaken ( or kill ) even the strongest serial killer, one would rightfully think! Why was there only one emergency medical technician ( EMT ) in the ambulance ( they are usually a two- or three-man team )? The ending was a total let-down. In the ending credits, when Jill's face was shown again, the nail that was driven across the bridge of her nose in an earlier scene was now missing--Hardee Har-har!
fyi: Other movie reviewers label this movie as a "Torture Porn." This is a misnomer! One of the meanings of Torture is to inflict intense pain for sheer cruel pleasure, it also means a cause of intense pain . And Pornography is defined as any sexually explicit material ( a movie, in this case ) which arouses sexual desire. Although there were nude scenes in this movie, not one of them aroused any sexual desire in me because A.) Skanky strippers are a turn-off for me, and B.) In Jill's case, I knew what was about to happen to her and that pretty much negated any hope for sexual arousal on my ( ahem! ) "part." But I must confess, watching this sloppily-made lame excuse for a movie was sheer torture for me!
This movie is aptly called, Slasher Flick! If anybody tells you that this movie is a Torture Porn, slap the idiot in the face and hope that it will put some sense into his/her under-used brain.
Back in the Philippines, there was this article in the newspaper about a fisherman who got impatient one day. So, he climbed up an electrical pole nearby, slashed a wire, and threw it into the pond. Soon, catfish and gourami fish were floating up to the surface. In his excitement, he dove into the water! ( Fill in the rest .... )
word of advice: To all of you movie makers out there, if I want to know about a serial killer who kills at random and without motivation, I don't need to see your movie at all because I can just watch or read the news about such evil people. In the case of movies, Art should not necessarily imitate Life because movies are a form of Escapism to help us forget about the banality, evilness, cruelty and/or senselessness of the real world out there. So, do your job--and do it right--damn it! Or I'll take your job away from you. Where's Hollywood when I need it?
tidbits: This movie should have been titled, "SPIDER-MAD STRIKES AGAIN" or "'ORKIN' MAN VERSUS ARKIN MAN."
In the scene wherein Jill takes her boyfriend to her house, one of the two aforementioned girls in the audience yelled out, "Bullshit!" much to everyone else's amusement.
From the looks of it, I think they're planning to make sequels out of this! O Lord ....
I originally planned on seeing this movie at the Brenden's cineplex in Vacaville, for the 7:35 pm show, because I haven't been to that place in so long. But Cal-Trans, again, was at it, re-paving the freeway and slowing down traffic. There was no way that I could have made it in time for the show--and I didn't want to take a chance and get pulled over again. So, I just settled for Edwards in Fairfield, instead.
After the movie, I went and used a toilet stall to empty my bladder. The men's room floor was littered with pieces of toilet tissue. I had a Hell of a time taking one off the bottom of a shoe only to have another one get stuck to the bottom of another shoe, alternating one for the other as I walked out of there. Maybe this is why the men's room door was removed from its hinges, so the security camera could film me for an upcoming episode of America's Funniest Security Videos. Who knows, this just might be my ticket to Hollywood! Here I come, the actor/writer/editor/casting agent/director and future producer--and last, but certainly not least--the movie review blogger, Cine-Man!
