WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER? R ( 1 hr & 46 min )

Quickie Review:  With her "biological clock" ticking away, a woman hires her across-the-hall neighbor to help her narrow down her previous lovers to The One who's  "marriage-material" for her.

As much as I like Anna Faris, I hate to say that I didn't like this movie at all.  And I didn't hear any sound of approval/enjoyment from the couple and the set of "double-date" couples in the auditorium with me.  Maybe, if  there were more people in the audience ....

Here are the things that I found  wrong  about  this movie:  She could have tracked her ex-lovers down using her computer's White Pages and/or FaceBook.  The subject matter of this movie and the  topic of discussions were tacky to me.  Of course, I can be a bit of a prude at times; but that's just the way I am.  Towel-Boy neighbor had a "thing" for her all along, obviously.  Is it just me or does Hollywood still emasculate and/or make effeminate the Black Man?

"What! you had sex with 300 partners?  Boy, have I got a lot of catching-up to do then!  I'd better get started on it right away.  After all, fair's fair.  Right ...?"

DREAM HOUSE, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 32 min )

Quickie Review:  A man quits his job at a publishing house and relocates with his wife and two little daughters to New England where he can start work on his novel.  But they find out that the house they moved into is a "murder house" in which the wife and the two daughters were believed killed by the husband/father five years prior.  And, little by little, the tragic secret unfolds before them.

I think that this Psychological Thriller/Murder/Mystery movie is good enough for me to recommend as a "Go See".  And some in the audience ( read: Women! ) were captivated by it.

Here are the things that I found wrong about this movie:  Why'd he back out of the driveway too fast and the wife didn't react to it in a concerned way?  How could he stay outside overnight in the snow inadequately-clothed for winter?  Why'd the bad guy not get the address right?  So, she was all tied-up and fire was everywhere and, yet,  she didn't utter a sound.  How'd he get his shirt collar so dirty all over again when his shirt was just laundered?  After all those years, one would think that the electricity to the house was cut-off; but, when he climbed up the basement stairs, a light-bulb to his left was turned on!

STRAW DOGS, R ( 1 hr & 50 min )

Quickie Review:  A Hollywood screenwriter relocates with his beautiful actress wife to her old home in the deep South.  But some of the locals don't like having him around.

Kate Bosworth is the only reason why I went to see this movie, honestly.  And I was not fully satisfied!

Here are the things that I didn't like about this movie:  This movie's  plot contrivances are a laughable joke!  A cat will not make that kind of a noise before it jumps on a person's lap if it knows the person; and it wouldn't jump on the person's lap if it doesn't know the person, unless it was trained to attack strangers!  Cats are not psychic, but they have a very excellent sense of  Hearing and can tell whether you are a Friend or Foe simply by listening to your heartbeat!  So, the bad guy would have had a hard time getting a hold of that cat!  "I dress for you," said she.  But, if she were my lovely wife, I would have told her,  Well, then, put on a bra because I'd hate to see your breasts sag and end-up looking like a pair of  Sunny-Side Up Eggs nailed to a plank of wood!  In a later scene, she wore a bathrobe AND YOU COULD SEE THE OUTLINE OF HER BRA STRAPS!!!   Hey, woman, I didn't mean for you to wear your bra while you take a  bath or a shower---Come on! geesh, Louise ....  Yeah, like a very beautiful girl like that would hit-on the hometown Retard!  ( Pardon the expression. )  I hate to say this, and some of you might hate me for saying it, but she dressed like a slut-bitch ( Even for Church, of all places! ) and she acted  like a slut-bitch ( 'Remember the Bedroom Window scene? ); in other words, she "asked" for it--must be why she didn't report it.  "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife" is NOT ( I repeat, NOT ) one of the TEN COMMANDMENTS ( EXODUS 20: 1 - 17 )!  That's already covered in the "Thou shall not commit Adultery."  The Catholic Church rewrote the Ten Commandments to get rid of the "Thou shall not practice Idolatry" ( Because Catholics love to worship idols ) Commandment and split the "Thou shall not Covet ... " into two parts ( 1. Goods, and 2. Wife ) so that the end result would still be 10 "commandments" instead of  just 9.  No wonder the locals hated him because he was a Catholic and they were Protestants.  Ha, ha, ha.

DETECTIVE DEE AND THE MYSTERY OF THE PHANTOM FLAME, PG-13 ( 2 hr & 2 min )

Quickie Review:  Based on the real-life exploits of China's version of Sherlock Holmes, Di Renjie, a law officer of the Tang Dynasty.  Detective Dee is highly-critical of the new Empress and is put in prison where he stays for eight years.  When the Empress' important court officials die one by one by way of spontaneous human combustion, people begin to think that the gods are angry at having a female ascend to the throne.  To get to the heart of this mysterious matter, the Empress releases Detective Dee to solve it before her official coronation takes place, putting his life on the line.

I liked it, somewhat.  I don't know what the other four or five people in the audience thought about it.

Here are the things that I didn't like about the movie:  I don't like to see wire-work in martial arts movies anymore.  They are stupid and they lessen the "Believability Factor" of a movie.  And what was with that "Robot-like weapon fitted with circular-saw appendages"?  A human-propelled log will not travel a straight horizontal line, it will arc--she should have been squashed by it since all she did was bend back which would have placed her in the path of the short-arcing log!  So a ventriloquist can manipulate a deer's mouth from afar--yeah, right ....  Those don't look like the Fire Beetles that I know are native to Central and South America.

WARRIOR, PG-13 ( 2 hr & 19 min )

Quickie Reveiw:  Two brothers, one a soldier  wrestling with a secret past and the other a high school physics teacher struggling with his mortgage payments, are both Mixed Martial Artists estranged from each other and from their recovering alcoholic father.  When the biggest "one-man-takes-all" purse in MMA tournament history is announced the brothers sign-up for the event, each with his own personal reason.  Old familial wounds come to surface as they fight each other physically, mentally and emotionally.

Prediction:  Nick Nolte is a heavyweight contender for an Oscar.

I liked it.  And the audience liked it.  And some gave it a "Hands Clapper" ending.

Here are the things that I didn't like about this movie:  The hypocrite Principal could have come-up with the excuse that the Teacher was mugged, and the Public School District Superintendent would have been none the wiser for it.  The last fight scene is supposedly a "Tear-Jerker".  But I didn't shed a tear over it simply because it was just a melodramatic Maudlin Scene "milked" for all that it was worth; in real life, the fight would have ended on a technicality!


After the movie, I went to the Men's Room to empty my overly-full bladder.  And I broke my long-standing Bladder-Emptying record of  5 minutes and Something seconds.  That personal record stood unchallenged for over 20 years.  But at 10:39:40 p.m. ( Sunday, September 25th, 2011 ), I did it for 00:07:35 before I had to squeeze my urethra because some guy came in to use one of the urinals.  And I wasn't even done because when I got home I still had "left-overs" for two more toilet breaks.  Quick! somebody go call the Guinness Book of  World Records!  Cine-Man is THE  Man!