MADEA'S BIG HAPPY FAMILY, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 45 min )

where:  CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when:  Tuesday, April 26th, 2011
show:  4:55 p.m.
costs:  $7.50 Ticket + $5.00 Snack Pack + $12.77 dinner @ Empire Buffet ( + $2.23 Tip ) = $27.50
auditorium:  7
seat:  7th row, 7th column

synopsis/overview:  Mother Shirley ( Loretta Devine ) receives a bad prognosis from her primary care physician.  And she plans on telling the rest of her family about it over dinner.  But her children cannot stand to be in the presence of  each other.  So, it is up to Aunt Madea ( Tyler Perry ) to round-up everybody to the dinner table.


noteworthy scenes:  1.)  Hospital room; 2.) Praise the Lord; 3.) "I want to see all my children"; 4.) "I don't eat pork; I eat ham"; 5.) Colonoscopy; 6.) Fast-food restaurant; 7.) "I'm not the nanny"; 8.) "One little drop"; 9.) "Punk-ass"; 10.) "Demon seed"; 11.) "I get more love in prison"; 12.) "Baby mama"; 13.) "Shut the hell up"; 14.) "I want them all together so I can tell them"; 15.) "1-(800) Choke-That-Ho"; 16.) "You're a cancer"; 17.) Stretchmarks; 18.) Prognosis; 19.) Marriage counselor; 20.) "You look like one"; 21.) Anniversary; 22.) J.A.B.; 23.) Cops; 24.) "A mother knows"; 25.) "You did the best you could"; 26.) "You've been redeemed"; 27.) "Just stay strong"; 28.) Auto shop; 29.) Lanco Imports; 30.) "Pull your pants up"; 31.) "Two front teeth"; 32.) "Baby momma from Hell"; 33.) "Let it happen"; 34.) "Traffic jam of  Life"; 35.) "You gotta stop  being mean to me"; 36.) "You already got one that you left at the doorstep"; 37.) Maury Povich Show; 38.) "Who's my daddy"; 39.) Hospital; 40.) Church service; 41.) "Old whip your ass"; 42.) "I want to hold you"; 43.) DNA results; and 44.)  Out-takes during the Ending Credits.

audience reaction:  The audience enjoyed this Family Dram-Com movie.

recommendation:  I enjoyed it, too.  Go see it.
 
spoiler alert!  If I were the owner of that fast-food joint, I'd fire that girl for talking on her cellphone on company time.  And the way she chewed gum, she should be thankful that she was not doing it in Singapore or they'd tan her hide a bloody-colored red!  Didn't anybody with a cellphone camera get some pictures of the drive-through crash-through?  That repulsively  whiny ex-girlfriend bitch  probably orgasms in the same vocal sort of  way: Byron ( Shad "Bow Wow" Moss ), nyaaah ....  By ... ron, nyaaaah ....  Nyaaaaaaah--Byron!  ( I honestly think that I could never get a girl like that pregnant--my sperm cells would be too afraid to cum  out.  L.O.L. )  Did her doctor even put her on chemotherapy?  Why was she still fat if  she had cancer since people with cancer experience massive weight loss?  Sharing bad news like that at the dinner table will just serve to ruin everyone's appetite!  So, there really was even no reason at all for her to go to all that trouble of  cooking a big meal.  And she was tired all the time--she should just have picked-up the 'phone and ordered home-delivered "Take-out".  Hello ...?  Why didn't she just have a Pot-Luck meal, instead?  The illusion was spoiled for me when an extra in the warehouse scene lifted a stack of boxes with his hands placed near the top end of the bottom box; and when Byron kicked it and the stack flew the way empty boxes do when kicked!

fyi:  I'm turned-off  by any one  who cannot keep his/her mouth closed while he/she  chews  gum.  It is so disgusting!

One time, back when my family lived in G.S.I.S. Heights Subdivision in Matina, Davao City, Mindanao, Philippines, my older cousin, the tall and handsome 'Nong Eddie, came to visit.  As we gathered at the dining table for lunch, 'Nong Eddie felt  a general sense of  malaise.   He told  my dad about how he felt.  And my dad gave 'Nong Eddie his medical diagnosis ( Mind you, my dad was not a doctor; he was a lawyer! ):  "I believe you have Leprosy."  'Nong Eddie froze on the spot, his spoon midway between his plate and his mouth, as the thought of falling victim to such a disfiguring disease set-off  his "Vanity" alarm!  He simply could not eat after that.  He went back to his room and stayed there for a while then came out and begged my dad to take him to the hospital because of  his "Leprosy."  Of course, he had no Leprosy. But the memory of  that day will forever  be etched in my mind.  Why?  Because I was a fat kid back then and I got to have an extra helping of  food at lunch!

I knew this Iranian Muslim girl once who ate Ham Sandwiches.

word of advice:  All prayers are answered.  But the answer isn't always, "Yes."

Spanking your child is not illegal.  But it is illegal to injure your child.  ( Go ahead, give the brats what they deserve.  Ha, ha, ha. )

tidbits:  I found out earlier today, Tuesday, that it is "National Pretzel Day."  I didn't know that there was even such a day.

After the movie, as I sat at my table at  Empire Buffet, I overheard the conversation between the two men seated behind me.  One of them was a car salesman who had a hard time meeting his sales quota.  He said to the other  man that he will need  to sell three cars just to break-even.  This information will come in handy, I'm sure, the next time that I shop for another car!  All I will need to  do is find a salesman who is so desperate to reach  his minimum quota.

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