where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Friday, February 25th, 2011
show: 12:15 p.m. ( Extra Dollar Off First Show Matinee )
costs: $9.75 Ticket + $5.50 small Popcorn w/ Butter + $4.50 medium Diet/Zero ( w/ Barq's & Cherry flavors ) Coke = $19.75
auditorium: 14, with a 3-D screen
seat: 7th row, 7th column
synopsis/overview: Hell can't keep a bad man down
A criminal, Milton ( Nicolas Cage ), escapes from Hell to save his only grandchild from a satanic cult hellbent on sacrificing the baby girl to unleash hell on Earth.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) "Tell him I'm coming to get her back"; 2.) Diner; 3.) Roadside assistance; 4.) Fat f-ck; 5.) Cheating boyfriend; 6.) Air conditioner; 7.) The satanic cult; 8.) Bull-by-the-balls honky-tonk bar; 9.) "Why does everyone keep hurting me"; 10.) FBI; 11.) Motel encounters; 12.) Handsome devil; 13.) Cult posse; 14.) "Promotion, payraise"; 15.) Baby girl; 16.) The gun; 17.) "Standing on evidence"; 18.) Shocked witness; 19.) Satanic magic; 20.) Church; 21.) Femur bone; 22.) "How come he ain't dead"; 23.) The chase; 24.) Rescue; 25.) "It's still in there, the bullet; I can feel it"; 26.) Interrogation; 27.) Tow truck; 28.) "Bad husband but good father"; 29.) Emotional torment; 30.) "Partial to the Chevelle"; 31.) Roadblock; 32.) "Serving two masters"; 33.) "Holster and thank you"; 34.) Shoot-out; 35.) Forever; 36.) "Well, this is all gone to shit"; 37.) "Not of this Earth"; and 38.) Skull beer.
audience reaction: The audience--all men--seemed to like this road-rage road trip movie, especially its three nude scenes.
recommendation: This is senseless fun for those who are into American muscle-cars, shoot-outs, and ( of course ) girls. If I just described you, then go see it.
spoiler alert! What kind of a name is Milton for a criminal? But, then again, if my parents christened me with such a wimpy name, I'd turn violent too and beat the crap out of anybody who'd be stupid enough to make fun of my name! They have cars--American cars--in Hell! What are they trying to say, "Don't buy American" if you want to go to Heaven? Thank God that all four of my cars are Asian cars! Thank you, Lord. Why didn't anybody voice an objection when the fat pervert took pictures with his cellphone? Too much blood was splattered on the wall when the throat was slit. I don't think that there is an axe sharp enough to cut hair like that. You can't send someone flying out a window by shooting him with a bullet from a handgun! The cultists should have suspected something was wrong when the shooting victim didn't produce a sufficient amount of blood. He didn't even have to shoot at the oncoming SUV since there was a big enough pit in the path of the vehicle--he could just have stood there with a big smile on his face ( that's what I would have done ). That cult leader sure as heck was one lousy gunslinger who couldn't even hit the driver or the passenger from just a few feet away! I don't think that it was a good idea that Milton went around killing all of those evil-minded people because they'd all be waiting for him to get back down to Hell ( Oh, boy ... what a welcoming party that would be ). That coin was just halfway embedded between the man's eyebrows and never even touched the brain since the coin's point of entry was slightly below the cleft between the left and right hemispheres of the brain. In other words, the man was not struck dead by the coin ( Well, he could die of an infection later on--but not at the moment ), he probably was just knocked-out by the impact. Why doesn't Hollywood consult with Cine-Man and put his knowledge of human anatomy and physiology to good use? Damn, I feel like all of those science courses that I took in college were all for nothing!
fyi: Where I work, we have to check for ID and/or ask for date of birth when anyone comes through our line to buy an alcoholic drink. It doesn't matter how old the customer is. Six months ago, I had a little old lady--who probably was 80 years of age already--come to my line with a bottle of wine. I asked her for her date of birth ( I looked and sounded stupid asking it, but my employer didn't hire me to use my common sense ). She said that it was February 29th, 1932. My register wouldn't accept the input. Then, it dawned on me: She is a Leap Year Child, meaning ... she is still underage! I should have called the cops on her. She probably had a gang of underage octogenarians outside in the parking lot waiting for her to buy them some booze so they can party and let it all hang out--and way low! Ha, ha, ha.
word of advice: Don't bite-off more than you can chew. ( You have to see this movie to know what I'm talking about. )
tidbits: Since it was a bright and sunny--and damn cold--day, I went to Pepboys to buy an air filter and spark plugs ( total = $14.90 ) for my Hyundai Accent. I had to put-up with a "Mr. Know-it-all" clerk who told me that I would have to check the gap on the spark plugs because it could have been narrowed during shipping and handling. It didn't make sense to me at all, considering how spark plugs are packaged in the first place. I asked him what the recommended gap is. He said that it is set at o.o44, according to his parts computer. I asked him if that measurement is in metric; he said that it is. So, I pulled out my gap gauge and used the metric side to test a spark plug's gap. I had a hard time widening the gap. He took the gauge from me and flipped it over. I told him that that side is the standard ( inch ) side. He said that it's the side to use and that I widened the gap too much. Well, duh, he told me that the measurement was in metric in the first place! Anyway, when I got to my car, I checked the gap on all four spark plugs--and they were factory preset to the recommended gap already. What a waste of time.
I installed the new air filter first. Then, as I took out each of the old spark plugs, I measured the gap on every single one of them. Three of the old spark plugs were at 0.044, but the last one that I checked was at 0.046. And, no, I kept all the new spark plugs that I put in at the recommended gap of 0.044. It took me about half an hour to do all of this messy stuff.
Then, I walked back in the store to use the men's room to scrub my hands clean. And I was going to buy a fuel system cleaner but I changed my mind since the only gas that I use in my cars, Chevron, has Techron in it that keeps the fuel system clean.
While I was inside the store, some bird--or birds--dive-bombed my car!
And speaking of Chevron, I went to the Marine World Parkway Chevron to buy a Contra Costa newspaper, another Budai statuette ( in red, this time ) and some gas. But, first thing first: I used the courtesy squeegee at pump number 10 to scrub-off the bird poop from my car. My car was dive-bombed in eight places: One on the passenger side door, three on the passenger side window, two on the front part of the roof and two on the windshield. Arrgh! One of these days I'm gonna catch me some birds and poop on them to give them a heapin' helping of their own medicine, I swear. Anyway, it turned out that the newspaper was missing the movie section, so I didn't buy it. I bought the statuette for $1.08 and I bought $3.92 of gas.
Then, I went to Selecta Filipino Buffet to eat lunch and to buy $7.00 worth of lottery tickets. Total money spent at this place was $15.46.
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