where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 & I-MAX in Fairfield, CA
when: Friday, January 20th, 2012
show: 11:30 a.m.
costs: $17.50 Ticket + $4.75 small Diet Coke + $0.99 half-a-bag of Corn Nuts Corn Chips ( bought at the 99-Cent Only Store & smuggled-in ) = $23.24
auditorium: 12, with the I-Max screen
seat: 5th row, 5th seat
synopsis/overview: Selene ( Kate Beckinsale ) wakes up from a 12-year cryogenic freeze only to discover that the humans are now hunting-down all of the vampires and lycans. As she pieces together the missing events of the lost years, she discovers that there is a hybrid that the humans are looking for who has a link to her past. But finding the hybrid and keeping it safe is compounded by the problem that most of the remaining vampires don't trust her at all, and that a deadlier new kind of lycan is out on the prowl looking for more vampires to kill.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) News; 2.) Escape; 3.) Grenade; 4.) Lab; 5.) Teeth; 6.) "Twelve years"; 7.) "The guy's shredded"; 8.) "There's no room for error"; 9.) Surveillance photo; 10.) "Now we're even"; 11.) Lycans on the hunt; 12.) Girl; 13.) Chase; 14.) Girl's origin; 15.) "It was we who betrayed her"; 16.) "Look at the eyes"; 17.) "You're a fighter"; 18.) "I know exactly what you are"; 19.) "Is that what you wish for us, extinction"; 20.) "You're as cold as one already dead"; 21.) "They're here"; 22.) The big bad "wolf"; 23.) "They accepted her as a gift from me"; 24.) "I'm not good with feelings"; 25.) "Who administers the tests"; 26.) "Entire species saved from extinction"; 27.) Subject 2's confinement room; 28.) "I had to watch her burn"; 29.) Intruder; 30.) The surprise discovery; 31.) "It's worse if you try to fight it"; 32.) "I heal instantly"; 33.) "Buy you some time"; and 34.) Rooftop.
audience reaction: The audience liked it, it seemed.
recommendation: If you've seen one, you've seen them all. It's all same ol', same ol' to me. Kate Beckinsale is pretty much the only good reason to see this movie, for you horn-dogs out there--I mean, fans of Kate Beckinsale!
spoiler alert! Why was Selene's hair not dangling down from her head when she was kept upside-down in the cryonic freeze booth? After all, 12 years is more than enough time for Gravity to work its magic. And why was she kept upside-down for in the first place? The surgical scalpel was a single-edged kind ( a very critical point of consideration in the scene ). So, when she slashed the Carotid Arteries of the bad guys who stood to either side of her, she could not have been able to slash the necks of the guards situated on her left side--simply by the way that she was holding the single-edged scalpel and at the fast speed that she was moving--without taking a hard tumble while trying to do so! And did you notice the heels on the boots that she was wearing as she attacked those guards with her scalpel? Well, then, her heels should have made a very loud and fast tapping sound while she moved down the hallway! And if she could move that fast in those shoes, then the shoes had such good traction built into them that she shouldn't have been able to slide down the hallway like that! Duh .... When she was going down the building's exterior emergency staircase, the guard running up the stairs should have heard her footsteps and quickly noticed her crotch descending upon him--heck! it was at his eye level after all--and should have had enough time to aim his "phallic-like" weapon at her and shoot her ( and I don't mean with "blanks" ). Ha, ha, ha. If she could see what was in a person's mind by simply sucking that person's blood, why couldn't Selene figure out that a bunch of the guys that she sucked really good were all lycans in disguise? Why did these vampires use candles and flashlights? I always thought that vampires could see in the dark! At least one of the vampires was shooting at nothing when their hideout was under lycan attack--bad CGI edit! If vampires can move really fast, why did Selene get herself swatted around like a bug by the slow-moving giant lycan? Can a ceiling fan actually hold an adult human's body weight? This movie is set in the near future but it's got cars from the '70s and '80s! ( Cheap props, if you ask me. ) Why did the elevator work when its inner doors were kept open? If it heals instantly, why didn't the lycan dig into its own belly when it still had the chance? If vampires are ice-cold, why do they have to go around wearing jackets/coats or even clothes, for that matter? I'm sure that you horn-dogs out there will agree with me on this: There were "hot" frigid vampires in this movie who could have done us a good "favor" had they gone around completely butt-naked ( because cold weather doesn't affect them at all the way that it does humans )! So, I'm thinking, the next installment of this movie franchise should be titled: UNDERWORLD: UNDRESSING, NC-17. Ahem .... ( Yeah, I'd be more than willing to go to the midnight show for that one! ) I can just imagine how many human males would impatiently get in line just to have themselves sucked really, really good by such "hot" frigid vampires! Ha, ha, ha--snort!
Imagine how much sense this movie would have made had they hired my services as Cine-Man!
fyi: Somewhere in Asia--Tibet, if I'm not mistaken--people kill a goat or a sheep by cutting into its upper abdomen and then reaching in with the hand to grab and keep the animal's heart from beating anymore. They call this a "bloodless" slaughter.
Heck, if they really want to slaughter an animal in a bloodless sort of way, all that they need to do is drive a sharp spike into its head! You can't get any more bloodless than that. And it's quick so that the animal is not forced to suffer needlessly.
word of advice: There is a strong bond between a mother and her child.
tidbits: I was gonna wait until Saturday to see this. But I changed my mind at the last minute. And only because I arrived at the theatre with plenty of time to catch this movie's first matinee show.
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Seychelles
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