where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 in Fairfield, CA
when: Friday, July 10th, 2009
show: 10:40 pm
costs: $7.50 Ticket + $4.50 Small Diet/Zero Coke + $6.00 Small Popcorn + $1.00 Oberto Sausage & Cheese ( smuggled-in ) = $19.00
auditorium: 16
seat: 4th row, 5th column
WARNING: This is a very morally offensive movie! If you are of a sensitive morality, don't read further.
At first, I wrestled with my own conscience because I couldn't remain objective to this movie and at the same time give it a fair review. This movie is meant to be a mockumentary satire, after all, intended to poke fun at society's prevailing social mores--played for laughs, its sole intention. There is no other way to creatively review this movie properly butt to channel Bruno, himself. With that in mind, here's my synopsass--bun intended:
Bruno ( Sascha Baron Cohen's third alter ego ) is an Austrian homosexual with big dreams: He wants to be the next world-famous Austrian after Adolf Hitler. He tries it in the European fashion world, even going so far as to almost get his "face pregnant" ( don't ask ). But the fashion world dumps him. So he comes to America ( i.e., L. A. ) for a chance at stardom. Dejected and desperate after so many failed attempts, he tries his hands at an Heterosexual lifestyle after having an epiphany late one night.
Bruno really went down deep and dirty in this probing analysis of society's homophobia and came back up with quite a mouthful to share with his eager, thirsty, and adoring public.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) The happy inter-racial gay couple at home; 2.) The "velcro" fashion show; 3.) First L. A. airport scene; 4.) Auditioning for a part using a JERRY MAGUIRE script; 5.) Acting as an "extra" in a court-room scene; 6.) The Anal Bleaching Salon ( I guess this is for real ); 7.) The creative exploitation of Hispanics during a Paula Abdul interview; 8.) The "White Trash" fetus--abort it! 9.) The "talking" penis; 10.) Interview with 2008 presidential candidate, Ron Paul; 11.) The psychic consultation; 12.) What's Dar-five? ( exploiting social causes ); 13.) Catching the ire of Orthodox Jews; 14.) Trying to resolve the Jewish/Palestinian conflict with very diplomatically reserved opposing parties at the bargaining table; 15.) The terrorist head; 16.) L. A. airport luggage claim area; 17.) Desperate parents of babies, their "meal-ticket;" 18.) Vespa baby; 19.) The Richard Bay talk show appearance; 20.) Losing a key during an Anti-Gay rally, and the subsequent bus ride; 21.) The "Cockaholic" Anonymous with a gay-converter in the Bible Belt State of Alabama; 22.) Learning Martial Arts moves against different homosexual attacks; 23.) Army recruit at Fort Mcclellan; 24.) Bonding with red-necks; 25.) Swingers' Party; 26.) The Bondage-Domination/Sado-Masochism scene ( don't ask me why I'm familiar with this term--ha, ha, ha [nervous laughter] ); 27.) The UFC-style fight scene, while Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" plays in the background; 28.) The "marriage" in California; 29.) Singing with some celebrities the "Gay Aid" song: Dove of Peace.
audience reaction: Riotous laughter through-out!
recommendation: If you're a Sacha Baron Cohen fan, this is your movie.
spoiler alert! If Sacha Baron Cohen really wanted to be kidnapped by Muslim terrorists, all he needed to do was to tell them honestly that he is a Jew. Despite her name, Paula Abdul is actually a Jew, too! And speaking of Jew, for you xenophobes out there, I have Jewish blood on my mother's side (Mom: Filipina, Spanish & Turkish-Jew; Dad: Filipino, Chinese-Malaysian & Italian)--but not to worry, please: I have been for exactly 8 years a natural-eyes citizen on one purpose of cultural learnings to make benefit glorious nation of Jew-nited States of Aramaic-ca ( Hey! don't be that way with me; the Founding Fathers gave this country THAT name over 200 years ago, well before my time, man ... well before my time....).
fyi: Two months ago, I brought a BORAT DVD with me as I visited with my friend, Hector R. (in Oakland, CA ), who's a Baptist Christian. So I played the movie for him and his wife. The look of shocked expression on their faces was priceless! His son, Ismael, nervously pulled me aside and whispered that his dad doesn't like to watch such movies, mea culpa. My friend excused himself because he "needed" to buy something at the grocery store. He probably was just outside all that time casting aspersions at the heavens for his unfortunate fate of having me as a "friend." Whoopsie!
I remember this old bargain cinema in Concord, California, THE CAPRI ( now defunct ). One time in 1996, they showed a double feature: PRIVATE PARTS plus JERRY MAGUIRE. Oh, how tempted I was to go up to the girl at the box office, plunk down my money and demand to see Jerry Maguire's Private Parts, had my sexual orientation not be possibly put into question by everyone present ( I can't stay in character like Sascha can ). This is the very first, and quite possibly the only, time that I've used this joke; so, enjoy it!
Ron Paul was the favored candidate on the Internet and would have made for a better president. I believe that the powers-that-be intentionally targeted him, through Sacha, if only to sully his name and make him and his independent party the laughing stock of the world.
Ron Paul was the favored candidate on the Internet and would have made for a better president. I believe that the powers-that-be intentionally targeted him, through Sacha, if only to sully his name and make him and his independent party the laughing stock of the world.
word of advice: This movie is not suitable for children even though some parents actually took their kids to watch this with them!
tidbits: In college, I was in the library one time doing my Algebra homework. Then, a black guy with a Chinese name ( he was adopted ) sat beside me and chatted me up. All of a sudden, he grabbed at my crotch and asked me for a date! I said, Sure--anything, just let go! No, actually, I was so shocked that I gathered-up my belongings and hurriedly left, saying, I'm sorry, but you're not my type. As I left, I asked myself, Was that the best line that I could come up with without drawing unnecessary attention to the situation. Because of that incident, I stopped showering in the Men's Locker. I didn't want to shower and give the guys my "fresh meat" scent--girls, Yes; guys, No ( see previous post ). Can you imagine being in the showers with a bunch of naked guys and you accidentally drop your bar soap? No wonder some guy invented "Soap on a Rope," perhaps after a VERY personally traumatic experience.
I know this homosexual midget who got tired of the charade and finally decided to come out of the cupboard!
Had Sacha Baron Cohen and I met before he made his BRUNO movie, I would have gladly offered to show him my re-worked lyrics for THE VILLAGE PEOPLE's In The Navy song. It goes like this:
Where can you run to
in your six-inch high heeled shoes
to just express your
own homosexuality?
Where can you be a queer
and dressed fancily,
to be as gay as you
can so truly be?
In the Army,
if you go acting like a tease,
In the Army,
you'd better put your butt at ease.
In the Army,
they'll go chasing you all they can,
In the Army,
boy, you'll get raped by every man!
They want you, they want you,
they want you as the gay recruit ( Who, me? )!
They want you, they want you,
they want you as the gay recruit ( Yes, you!).
