where: EDWARDS FAIRFIELD STADIUM 16 in Fairfield, CA
when: Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
show: 10:20 pm I-Max 3D
costs: $15.50 Ticket + $4.50 small Diet/Zero Coke + $1.00 medium upgrade on a free small Popcorn = $21.00
auditorium: 12
seat: 5th row, 6 column
recommendation: Don't go see this movie in I-Max 3D.
spoiler alert! The special visual effect is only for the CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS preview and the first 12 minutes of the movie itself! What a rip-!
fyi: The first movie that I saw in I-Max 3D was at this cinema earlier this year for a showing of MONSTERS VS. ALIENS.
The guy at the box office told me that there was an additional 20 - 25 minutes added to the movie in the first half--lie! (Or misinformed, whatever the case may be.)
The only wonderful sight to behold in this 12 minute duration is that of Elarica Gallagher, who plays the part of the Cafe waitress at the Surbiton Railway Station, arguably the best looking girl in this movie--quite a triumph for us all "Muggle-Born."
word of advice: Keep your money in your pocket on this one unless you got the "hots" for Elarica!
tidbits: On the way to the cinema, the freeway bottlenecked less than a mile from the Green Valley off-ramp because the two left lanes were closed for re-paving and the slow lane was closed because of an accident. A fire truck and at least four police cars were parked along the shoulder.
On the way home, I swung by the Fairfield Food-Max to buy some eggs, yogurt, trail mix, and bananas. When I went to the East Texas on-ramp, I found out that it was closed for re-paving work. I drove across the intersection, made a u-turn in a residential section and made a left to drive on the frontage road leading me back to Travis Boulevard. The on-ramp there was closed as well, to my utter vexation. I only had two on-ramps left to try or be trapped in Fairfield for the night! And I was not about to sleep in my car or stay-in at a motel just because some Cal-Trans idiot decided to barricade the whole city of Fairfield for the freeway re-paving work. Luckily for me, I was wrong: The Waterman Boulevard on-ramp was open. I'm not coming back here tonight for the midnight showing of FUNNY PEOPLE.
Going back to the late night showing of MONSTERS VS. ALIENS .... After the movie, I went to use the men's room. So, I was there in a toilet stall, emptying my bladder and pretty much minding my own business. There were two white teenagers in that room with me: One had just gotten in to use a urinal, I'll call him simply as, "A;" and another one was on his way out, "B."
"Hey, wait up," said A. "I need to talk to you."
"I gotta go," said B with urgency.
"I need to talk to you--I thought you were my friend," said A. "Hey, wait for me!"
"I can't," said B as he was about to exit.
"Hey," said A hurriedly as he followed B out of the men's room. "You f-ck my mom!"
"She wanted it," answered B rather lamely.
"You're supposed to be my friend," A said as he chased after B.
Sweet! She must be one hot MILF! I'd love to know who she is ( who knows, I might get lucky, too ). It was at that moment that I realized my "Calling": I have to start my own movie review blog site and format it to be different from all the rest to accomodate the rare precious gems, such as this, that no other movie reviewer would dare to touch! I sincerely owe those two kids a debt of gratitude, which is why I'm immortalizing them on this particular blog post. B, if you're reading this, ask MILF if she'd be game for some menage a trois fun ( I won't tell A if you won't, I promise ).
By the way, to all of you Filipinos out there, MILF does not stand for Muslim Independence Liberation Front, a rebel group situated mainly in Cotabato, Philippines. Nope, it means: Mom I'd Likely F-ck. No wonder those Muslims in Cotabato hate us Americans, we make fun of their acronym! ( Psst! don't tell those rebels that I'm related to them. If you must know, yeah, they're distant relatives of mine--a few thousand miles distance, give or take a few. )
And speaking of acronym, F-CK originated in England, if I'm not mistaken, Racquel B., a co-worker of mine in Benicia, informed me. Being that the kings were the purported descendants of Christ and/or His Apostles, they had the "power" to grant certain "indulgences." One such indulgence was an acronymed ( for discretion ) royal note to be posted on one's door, "Fornicating Under Consent of King," whenever one had the need to express such an act of immorality. I wonder if such notes were printed in big, bold Scarlet Letters, hmm .... And I guess all the virgins in the kingdom were "stamped" with the royal "Seal of Approval," too!
Is S-CK, then, an acronym for sodomizing ...? 'Sorry for being such a "Deviate's" Advocate.
