where: movie2k.to via stream2k on my laptop
when: Thursday, May 12th, 2011
show: 9:25 p.m.
costs: $0.00 stream
auditorium: My living room
seat: My swivel chair
2nd time
where: CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in Vallejo, CA
when: Friday, May 13th, 2011
show: 6:00 p.m.
costs: $11.00 Ticket + $13.74 dinner @ Empire Chinese Buffet ( + $2.26 Tip ) + $1.29 6" x 4" memo book for note-taking ( bought at the Sonoma Blvd. CVS Drugstore here in Vallejo ) = $28.29
auditorium: 14, with the 3-D screen
seat: 5th row, 7th column
synopsis/overview: A priest ( Paul Bettany ) disobeys the Church so he can search for a loved one who was recently abducted by vampires.
noteworthy scenes: 1.) The Sola Mira Hive; 2.) Trap; 3.) Walled city; 4.) The priests; 5.) Disbanded; 6.) Barren farmland; 7.) Raid; 8.) Confessional; 9.) Bad news; 10.) "How good is that faith when it's a lie"; 11.) "Questioning the authority of the clergy is absolutely forbidden"; 12.) "That's something I'm absolutely counting on"; 13.) "Don't do anything foolish"; 14.) "Looting is not such a good idea, mister"; 15.) Medicine show; 16.) The promise; 17.) "We don't. They're for you"; 18.) "You have been called to serve once more"; 19.) Shoe prints; 20.) The "familiars" at Nightshade; 21.) "Save your bullets"; 22.) "Their turn now"; 23.) "I'm teaching you how to kill vampires"; 24.) "There's your compensation"; 25.) "If she's infected, I'll kill her"; 26.) The hive; 27.) The hive guardian; 28.) "They bred a new army"; 29.) "Are priests allowed to have relations"; 30.) "Where did you say the others went"; 31.) Train station; 32.) "Follow in my footsteps or follow in his"; 33.) "Too many mouths to feed"; 34.) Crucified; 35.) "If you're not committing sin, you're not having fun"; 36.) "If she becomes a familiar, she's no longer flesh and blood"; 37.) Daughter; 38.) "Hello, my friend"; 39.) The Queen of the Hive; 40.) Fight with the biker gang; 41.) "You would have been a good priest"; 42.) "He never told you"; 43.) Collision; 44.) Proof; 45.) "No, it's just beginning"; and 46.) Summoning the rest for the hunt.
audience reaction: N/A. I watched this all by my lonesome.
2nd audience reaction: I didn't hear anything in the way of a reaction or a comment from anyone in the audience.
recommendation: It's a good enough action movie for those of you who are into martial arts and vampire films.
spoiler alert! If the vampires have been around as long as humans have been, you would think that the vampires would have easily eradicated the human race back in a prehistoric time way before us humans even invented rudimentary weapons. Why didn't the priests employ bright lights as weapons? If the vampires were without eyes, then it would have been logical for them to have big ears since Echo-Location is the evolutionary adaptation used among creatures with compromised eyesight in order to hunt for prey. With their fighting skills, the priests could have easily made a good living as bodyguards. Why did the priests' motorcycles come equipped with a jet turbine even though they only ran on solar power and battery power? The bullet casing should not have been cut in half since it was too light an object to slice-through in mid-air. And if a bullet could get itself sliced-through in such a way, the friction generated would have ignited the gunpowder. If priests don't use bullets, where did he get all of those bullets from? The chicken that a "familiar" was chopping-up looked really fake. Why couldn't they have just bought already-dead chickens at some poultry farm to use as props for this one particular scene? "Excrete," was the wrong word for him to say. He should have said, "excrement," or, "excreta." The vampires used their excrement ( excreta ) to build their hives ...? That's a lot of excrement ( excreta )! In which case, the consumption/excretion ratio was way out of whack! Quick question: How do you hunt down these vampires? Answer: Just follow your nose .... Stepping stones in mid-air--Yeah, right .... When Sheriff Hicks ( Cam Gigandet ) asked the priestess ( Maggie Q ) if priests are allowed to have ( sexual ) relations, she answered that priests take a vow of celibacy just as the angle of the light showed both of her nipples poking at the stretchy fabric of her tight-fitting outfit--'Gotta love her! ( Do I have a quick eye for such a detail or what! Ha, ha, ha. ) A record-playing gramophone in the post-apocalyptic future ...? I've never even seen a gramophone in real life in our day and age! What, they got no MP3s, iPods and CDs in the future, only Vinyls? That strike to the chest should have killed the priest right away. They already knew what to do, based on an earlier discussion, once they caught-up with the train; so, why did he have to once again tell the priestess to go and blow-up the track? And speaking of tracks, why was there only one set of tracks when two sets ( for travel in both directions ) would have made better sense? The flying kick that she did on that motorcycle-riding "familiar" would have not worked well in real life. Why? Because the combined weight of the bike and rider would have exceeded 500 pounds and she probably weighed approximately 120 pounds. And if you factor-in the bike rider's velocity and inertia, she probably would have gotten herself spun around in the air from her kick and would have subsequently lost her balance, too. When she used her chain whip on the "familiar" who was soaring through the air, she should have gotten herself tugged before she could yank down on the whip ( 'same thing for when she used her whip to flip a bike--the Physics was all wrong ). And the whip would not have cut the "familiar" into many pieces since it only had one bladed tip which only wrapped around the "familiar's" midsection. The train could not have been traveling fast; otherwise, they would not have been able to stand up and fight on top of it, and Black Hat's ( Karl Urban ) hat would have been blown-off by the wind. The sheriff had the chance to shoot at the "familiar" who was guarding Lucy ( Lily Collins ). In the Long Shot just before the train/motorcycle collision, we see the train and the motorcycle approximately 50 yards apart ( it was actually about 35 to 40 yards distance between the two ). We don't know exactly how fast the train was going; so, let's assign it a speed of 30 mph. We know that the motorcycle was going 191 mph. And it took the priestess approximately two seconds to get from a sitting position to a standing position on her motorcycle. Well, then, here's the math:
1 mile = 5,280 feet ; 50 yards = 150 feet
Train ( 30.00 miles/hour; 0.50 [ half-mile ] mile/minute; 0.01 [ rounded-off ] or 1/100th of a mile/second ) = 44 feet/second speed to the point of impact
Motorcycle ( 191 miles/hour; 3.18 miles/minute; 0.05 or 1/20th of a mile/second ) = 264 feet/second speed to the point of impact
The combined speed per second for both the train and the motorcycle would serve to further shorten the distance and time to impact: 264 feet/second - 44 feet/second = 220 feet ( 73.33 yards ) per second
But it took the priestess two seconds just to get from a sitting position to a standing position on her motorcycle. So, 220 feet ( 73.33 yards ) per second x 2 seconds = 440 feet ( 146.66 yards ) of distance needed
The priestess needed to have 146.66 yards ( 440 feet ) of distance just to get from a sitting position to a standing position before even factoring in the time that she needed to jump out of harm's way! And the Long Shot of that scene only showed her--in a still sitting position--at about 50 yards ( 150 feet ) away from the train--not enough room, not enough time! And she couldn't have jumped off at a right angle from her motorcycle because she was traveling at the same speed as it was, i.e. 191 mph! She probably needed at least 300 yards ( 900 feet ) just to barely clear the train. Then, she would have rolled around--for quite a distance--like a human tumbleweed! And, yes, she'd be dead! Ain't no way she'd be walking away from that alive with nary a scratch or broken bone and/or a dislocated joint.
And ... as sexy as her body was, it was not aerodynamically designed to be optimally streamlined in countering the effects of wind resistance. In other words, even before she could completely stand-up while traveling at 191 mph, the wind resistance would have pushed her off the motorcycle!
Why was the decapitated vampire head not burned by the Sun or the explosion? And, last but not least, why were the vampires bare-skinned? Couldn't they even grow body hair? I mean, there are guys out there walking around with hair all over their chest and back! And if the vampires had been around for a long time and lived in the same areas where the humans lived--and humans grew body hair for warmth--why couldn't they grow hair? And speaking of why they couldn't grow hair ... how come all the male "familiars" were bald-headed? Did the "familiars" infect the humans and altered their DNA so that the male humans ended-up with the male-pattern baldness gene? If so, damn those "familiars"! Damn them all to Hell!
fyi: I'm a direct descendant of a Jewish-Christian Priest on my mother's side.
word of advice: Any religion that deals in absolutes is a cult!
tidbits: The internet version of this movie that I watched on movie2k.to is blurry. I figured that it was because this was illegally ( ? ) copied from an on-screen 3-D version. So, I had the idea to use my Real-D 3-D glasses while watching the movie on my laptop. It did me no good, though, because the movie was still blurry. But I kept the 3-D glasses on, anyway, because of the computer screen's glare.
I had to swing by the CVS Drugstore to buy a mini notebook because I forgot to bring one along with me. That doesn't bode well for me as a movie reviewer. I should keep extra ones in my car's glove compartment.
I was at checkstand 1 when I bought the mini notebook. A customer who was at checkstand 2 immediately started making loud animal noises ( crow, chicken and cat, to be more specific ) upon exiting the store. The checkstand 1 cashier said to me, "Don't worry. He does that all the time." Then, the man started doing a pseudo-operatic voice as he was unlocking his bicycle. That was so weird ....
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