I went to see this movie today, Sunday, January 27th, 2013, here in Vallejo, CA, for the 11:15 a.m. "extra-dollar-off" first show matinee at the CENTURY 14 VALLEJO in auditorium 14, 5th row ( counting from the front ), 9th column ( counting from the left ).
Quickie Review: In this retelling of a classic fairy tale, Hansel ( Jeremy Renner ) and Gretel ( Gemma Arterton ) find their "calling" in life after they kill the witch who lives in a cottage made out of candy.
Some people in the audience seemed to like it, especially the scene wherein the Sheriff ( Peter Stormare ) was head-butted by Gretel--some women clapped their hands when they saw that one!
I liked it enough. Go see this movie to find out the new "spin" that they put on this classic tale.
But, after the movie ended, a man said, "Boring," as he was leaving the auditorium.
There's a Bonus Scene at the start of the Ending Credits.
I liked the Cleavage scene.
Here are some things that I found wrong in this movie: Shouldn't that cottage made out of candy have been crawling with ants? Living in the middle of a forest doesn't provide any aspiring future lock-picker the opportunity to practice, broaden and hone his/her skills. So, how was the little girl able to pick the lock so easily? In a forest fight scene, a log rolled easily, giving away the fact that it was just a movie prop. Hansel needed a "sugar sickness" shot every eight hours or less, and he was dangling from a tree overnight; yet, he felt fine after he freed himself from the embarrassing predicament. Those witches possessed inhuman strength, and could easily kill any normal human foolish enough to pick a fight with them. The dialogues were too modern for such a "period piece".
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Boy! having a hurt back sure ain't fun. Sleeping and rising out of bed were quite a pain-in-the-back--literally! I used my percussion massager to help ease the pain. And, out of desperation, I popped an Excedrin Back and Body Extra Strength Pain Reliever capsule in my mouth; even though it expired in May of last year---Hey! I was desperate for some relief. But something about that expired medication made me cough repeatedly for the next three hours.
Getting in and out of my car, and looking over my right shoulder while changing lanes, were quite a pain-in-the-back, too!
After the movie and before I started this blog at the MacDonald's Restaurant in the Target Shopping Center on Admiral Callaghan Lane here in Vallejo, I had the disgustingly unpleasant experience of watching an Internet video--out of curiosity--of a girl who put her bloody tampon into her mouth and sucked on it REPEATEDLY---Yuck! Gross .... And, to think, I dipped my Daily Double Burger in Tomato Ketchup as I watched the video---Double Yuck!! ( To preserve what little dignity she has left--if there's any left at all--I will only mention her initials as: G. P. )
( Now, if you'll excuse me, I think that I'm gonna go throw-up!!! )
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