COLOMBIANA, PG-13 ( 1 hr & 47 min )

where:  AMC STAR GRAND RAPIDS 18 in Grand Rapids, MI
when:  Thursday, September 8ht, 2011
show:  2:05 p.m.
costs:  $4.50 Ticket + $4.25 small Zero Coke = $8.75
auditorium:  10
seat:  6th row, 6th seat


synopsis/overview:  A little girl witnesses the execution of her parents and vows revenge on the mob boss responsible for her parents' deaths.  


noteworthy scenes:  1.) Microchip; 2.) The chase; 3.) Manhole; 4.) Embassy; 5.) "My passport"; 6.) Uncle Emilio ( Cliff Curtis ); 7.) "Whose room did I sleep in"; 8.) "I want to be a killer"; 9.) First lesson; 10.) Drunk driver; 11.) The jail; 12.) Calling card; 13.) Laundromat; 14.) "It's an orchid"; 15.) Trap; 16.) "File a formal request with the agency"; 17.) "We're not looking for a woman.  It's not possible"; 18.) Questions; 19.) "I shouldn't have done this"; 20.) Library; 21.) Picture; 22.) Trace; 23.) Church; 24.) Match Identification, 100%; 25.) "What picture"; 26.) Bombs; 27.) Garage; 28.) Executions; 29.) "This won't take long"; 30.) "Can't or won't"; 31.) Floor plans; 32.) "Expect the unexpected"; 33.) RPG ( rocket-propelled grenade ); 34.) It's Cataleya ( Zoe Saldana ); 35.) Eat; and 36.) Forty seconds.


favorite scene:  I liked the "drunk driver" scene.

audience reaction:  N/A.  I was the only one in the auditorium.

recommendation:  It's a good enough Action Movie--and Zoe Saldana is beautiful and sexy.  No other reasons are needed to go see this movie, for you guys out there who are Action Movie fans.

spoiler alert!  After the bad guy got his hand "nailed" to the table by the knife, he could still have pushed at the table to pin his attacker down.  That manhole cover was at least 250 pounds in weight.  There was no way that the little girl could have pushed the manhole cover off!  Children in this country are fingerprinted; and the government had young Cataleya's  name and fingerprints.   So, why were the FBI and the CIA unable to track her down early on?  There were a lot of witnesses at the street shooting yet nobody was able to give the cops a description of the shooter. She should have followed the RPG with another one seconds later while they were still dazed and confused.  In a fight-to-the-death, always fight a dirty fight and finish it quick--which the two combatants didn't do at all.  And shoot first, talk later!  The bad guy could have gotten out of the car before the command was given.  After all that had transpired, the FBI and/or the CIA still didn't give the boyfriend her real name, that he had to ask her for it ...?  Does that make sense to you at all?

fyi:  On my 15th birthday, a family friend gave me a 110-pound barbell set as a present.  I soon lifted weights without a spotter/trainer and without the benefit of training books and proper equipment.  This was way back when weightlifting was not yet a popular exercise form so that very little attention was paid to its proper lifting techniques.

One day a couple of months later, I finally felt strong enough to overhead press 100 pounds.  I lifted it up overhead, straining and shaking as I went along, and was able to press it all the way up--but I heard/felt a snap in my back:  I dislocated my lower back because of poor lifting technique and because I didn't wear a weightlifting belt ( Heck, I didn't even know back then that there was such a thing as a weightlifting  belt )!

The point that I'm making is that the little girl couldn't have moved the manhole cover all by her tiny self, especially while she was standing on a rung and holding onto another rung inside the manhole.

Zoe Saldana has the kind of figure that I drool all over.

word of advice:  "Beautiful but Deadly" is not without merit.

Revenge is sweet.

tidbits:  I left my sister's house at around 8:40 a.m. because the cleaning lady was scheduled to arrive at around that time.  I drove down 6 Mile Road, a country road, with an average speed of 50 miles per hour because there was no posted speed limit anywhere.  Some guy in a black SUV was obviously in a hurry because, soon enough, he was tail-gating me.  When I made a right turn on Alpine Avenue NW, he cut me off!  What an idiot!

I decided to have breakfast at IHOP ( International House of Pancakes ) but I changed my mind at the last minute.  So, I whiled the time away by going to ...

MacDonald's Restaurant

the MacDonald's Restaurant on Alpine Avenue NW ( across Alpine Avenue NW from IHOP ) to have a # 3 Breakfast Meal, ( Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuit )  with a cup of Decaf.  I brought along my niece's Ripley's Believe It Or Not! Encyclopedia of the Bizarre, 2002, to finish reading it.  It's 308 pages long and, believe it or not, it has got many misspellings, multiple entries on some subjects, and grammatical errors!  Ha, ha, ha.  ( Like I'm qualified enough to judge .... )

Anyway ...

As I was drinking my Decaf, the cup reminded me that MacDonald's has a free Wi-Fi service!  Of course! how could I forget this.  Duh!  Next time I visit my sister here in Michigan, I will be sure to bring my laptop with me so I can keep current on my blog posts.

The strange thing about this restaurant's location is that it is in a ...

Sam's Club on Alpine Avenue NW in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Sam's Club parking lot which is directly across a side street from a ...

Super Wal-Mart across the street from Sam's Club on Alpine Avenue NW in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Super Wal-Mart!  I know that Wal-Mart specializes in "Cut-Throat" competition, but what I didn't know is that it doesn't mind slitting its own throat!

Oh, before I forget, it is worth mentioning that if you go to Michigan, or Indiana ( for that matter ), forget about looking for Toilet Seat Liners in the public restrooms 'cause you won't find any!  Bring your own toilet seat liners--and maybe a can of Lysol Disinfectant!  Ha, ha, ha.

The men's room at MacDonald's.  What's missing in this picture?  Yup, you guessed it: No toilet seat liners.

After having my breakfast at MacDonald's, I headed-on to the ...

on Alpine Avenue NW to buy a 20 oz. bottle of  Orange-flavored Powerade, a pair of socks and a pack of Hawaiian Punch Lemon-Berry Squeeze "singles-to-go" drink mix.

By the way, not only are there Dollar Tree stores in Michigan, there are also Dollar General and Family Dollar stores there, too.  In fact, there's a town where all three chain stores are all just a few blocks away from each other down a main street!

Then, I got back on Alpine Avenue NW to make a left on 4 Mile Road to go buy some stuff at a store.

This is Alpine Avenue NW near its intersection with 4 Mile Road.

This is 4 Mile Road near its intersection with Alpine Avenue NW.  The Plumb's shopping center is just up ahead on the right side.

Did you notice something strange about these two streets shown above?  They don't have pedestrian sidewalks!  A lot of the streets in Grand Rapids, MI, don't have sidewalks.  Maybe I should give Ripley's Believe It Or Not! a call.

I went to the Rite-Aid Drug Store on 4 Mile Road to buy a Hot Rod Magazine.  But they didn't  have it.  So, I walked next door to the Plumb's Grocery Store and bought it.

This is the left side entrance to Plumb's Grocery Store.  The park bench where I sat yesterday and where I sat today is just behind the shopping carts.

I bought this magazine at Plumb's and stood it up on the park bench to take this photo.  I personally know the owner of one of these featured hot-rods, which is why I bought a copy--he had ran-out of copies to give away.

While at Plumb's Grocery Store, I also bought a strawberry popsicle, a Faygo Strawberry soda and a Faygo Grape soda ( 20 oz. each ), and some bananas.  Then, I went out to the park bench to eat my popsicle and drink some soda while I read some of the articles in the Hot Rod Magazine.  After some time had passed, I called my sister's office to let her know that I won't be home until after 4 o'clock because I had to go somewhere.

I went to a shopping center ...

to eat first at ...

where I had the # 3 $2.00 Deal, a Gordita Supreme.  I haven't been to Taco Bell in a long time because they charged too much for their meals, in my opinion.  But now that they have their "$2.00 Deals" I think I will patronize Taco Bell once again.

Then, it was off to the movies for me.

As soon as I bought my movie ticket, I asked the ticket clerk where they displayed the skimpy dress that Cameron Diaz wore in the movie, THE MASK ( 1994 ), so that I could take a picture of it and post it on my blog.  Since I didn't take a picture of it last year when I was here with my niece and sister for the KARATE KID movie.  The clerk told me that someone broke the display case and stole it!  It was a replica dress, however, not the original one--which probably explained why the dress was on the Very Petite side in the first place ( Or maybe it was just accidentally left in the dryer for way too long.  Hmm .... ).

Behind this floor display was where the Cameron Diaz dress was kept in a glass display case.

This glass display case holds memorabilia from the JERRY MAGUIRE  ( 1996 ) movie.

And this glass display case holds memorabilia from the movie, TO DIE FOR ( 1995 ).

After the movie, I came upon two elderly couples standing in front of the movie poster for KILLER ELITE.  One little old lady said that she loves Jason Statham.  And one of the elderly gentlemen said that he was a "driver" in the TRANSPORTER movies.  But none of them could remember his name, somehow; even though it was listed on the movie poster, itself.  I didn't volunteer the information though because I didn't want to butt-in on their personal conversation.  And I truly felt sorry for the little old lady's date because he has got quite a competition in Jason Statham.  Of course, I say this without knowing what kind of females Jason is seriously into!

Special Announcement:  The next few movie reviews will be just brief summaries since I'm really way behind in my blog posts!